SlideShare a Scribd company logo
1 of 10
Wants & Needs Series
Original Articles by lunaKM
Powerpoint by Kallista
Key Terms/Abbreviations
• Sub(abv.) submissive (She’s a good sub.)
• Dom/Domme(abv.) Dominant/Dominatrix (She is a good
Domme)
• D/s. (abv.) Dominant/submissive
• Need – Something you must have
• Want – Something you would like to have
• Maslow’s Hierarchy – A chart designed to explain
necessity of healthy human development
Materials
• For this lecture, it is recommended you have the following at
hand:
• A pen/pencil and paper OR
• The Submissive Guide Wants & Needs workbook.
Purpose
• Understanding what you need and want in a
relationship can help you understand who you
are as a sub.
• Being able to differentiate between your needs
and wants can help you express your
expectations and desires to your current or
potential Dom.
Part 4: When Wants & Needs
Aren’t Met
Series Article “What Should You Do When Wants or Needs
Aren’t Met?”
Reflection
When a Compromise Can’t
Be Reached
• Sometimes, no matter how much or how careful things are
discussed, people in a relationship cannot reach a consensus
about the fulfillment of their needs or wants.
• Your wants and needs are part of your D/s relationship. Make
sure they are communicated and are being met.
Bringing it Back on Track
• Have a heart-to-heart.
• Use non-aggressive phrasing. Instead of “You do this” use phrases
like, “I feel,” “I need,” “I believe.”
• Change it up
• Suggest adding aspects to your relationship that help fulfill your
needs or wants
• Write a letter
• Focus on your feelings and thoughts
If That Doesn’t Work
• Unfortunately, there are times when a person is not able or
willing to meet your needs or wants.
• If discussion cannot help improve your sense of happiness and
fulfillment, the person you’re with is not the right person for
you.
• This decision should not be taken lightly, but the state of your
happiness is important to your overall wellbeing and should
not be put in jeopardy.
Reflect
• Take a look at the exercises you did for this lecture, and
consider what you have learned from doing them.
• Now that you have this information, what should you do with
it?
Credits
Thank you!
Subscribe to the site for more on BDSM, D/s and submission at
SubmissiveGuide.com
Further conversation on this topic and many others in the
Submissive Guide community at:
http://fetlife.submissiveguide.com
Also, look for subguide on Twitter, Tumblr, Google+ and YouTube

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Submissive Guide: Wants and Needs - Part 4

  • 1. Wants & Needs Series Original Articles by lunaKM Powerpoint by Kallista
  • 2. Key Terms/Abbreviations • Sub(abv.) submissive (She’s a good sub.) • Dom/Domme(abv.) Dominant/Dominatrix (She is a good Domme) • D/s. (abv.) Dominant/submissive • Need – Something you must have • Want – Something you would like to have • Maslow’s Hierarchy – A chart designed to explain necessity of healthy human development
  • 3. Materials • For this lecture, it is recommended you have the following at hand: • A pen/pencil and paper OR • The Submissive Guide Wants & Needs workbook.
  • 4. Purpose • Understanding what you need and want in a relationship can help you understand who you are as a sub. • Being able to differentiate between your needs and wants can help you express your expectations and desires to your current or potential Dom.
  • 5. Part 4: When Wants & Needs Aren’t Met Series Article “What Should You Do When Wants or Needs Aren’t Met?” Reflection
  • 6. When a Compromise Can’t Be Reached • Sometimes, no matter how much or how careful things are discussed, people in a relationship cannot reach a consensus about the fulfillment of their needs or wants. • Your wants and needs are part of your D/s relationship. Make sure they are communicated and are being met.
  • 7. Bringing it Back on Track • Have a heart-to-heart. • Use non-aggressive phrasing. Instead of “You do this” use phrases like, “I feel,” “I need,” “I believe.” • Change it up • Suggest adding aspects to your relationship that help fulfill your needs or wants • Write a letter • Focus on your feelings and thoughts
  • 8. If That Doesn’t Work • Unfortunately, there are times when a person is not able or willing to meet your needs or wants. • If discussion cannot help improve your sense of happiness and fulfillment, the person you’re with is not the right person for you. • This decision should not be taken lightly, but the state of your happiness is important to your overall wellbeing and should not be put in jeopardy.
  • 9. Reflect • Take a look at the exercises you did for this lecture, and consider what you have learned from doing them. • Now that you have this information, what should you do with it?
  • 10. Credits Thank you! Subscribe to the site for more on BDSM, D/s and submission at SubmissiveGuide.com Further conversation on this topic and many others in the Submissive Guide community at: http://fetlife.submissiveguide.com Also, look for subguide on Twitter, Tumblr, Google+ and YouTube