Nikki and Regina’s unique mentoring relationship proves “Mentoring is not a one-way street, however. It is not always a senior generation teaching a newer generation; it really is each generation teaching members of other generations. Having multiple generations in the workforce may complicate the mentoring process, but it also provides a wonderful opportunity for us to learn from several perspectives at once” (Duffy, 2004).
The interesting dynamic of “who finds who” or what qualities in the mentor and mentee that help to form the relationship are prevalent in this dyad model. They both saw elements maybe the other did not possess but admired. In Mentoring, preceptorship and clinical supervision : a guide to professional support roles in clinical practice,Morton-Cooper & Palmer, point outthe qualities for attracting a mentor “always concerns two interested parties, with the ability to form and sustain a working relationship”. And “although the qualities and skills that a mentor possessessare vital to the nature and effectiveness of the ensuing relationship, the qualities of the mentee also come into play when considering the unfolding of the resulting relationship”. Morton-Cooper & Palmer also explain other qualities found in this dyad, and others that potentially make a mentee attractive to a mentor: (1) Stand out in a crowd; (2) Demonstrate the potential to succeed; (3)Possess Adult Intimacy Capabilities.
A study of the “Attributes of Effective Mentoring Relationships” done at the Center for Coaching & Mentoring results support “that mentoring is a power free, two-way, mutually beneficial, learning situation where the mentor provides advice, shares knowledge and experiences, and teaches using a low pressure, self-discovery approach.”
DYAD I - Tim Knox, Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, says “a successful mentor/mentee relationship should not be a temporary relationship, but one that is ongoing, that grows and evolves until the day you are no longer mentor and mentee, but peers”. DYAD II - In Dave Carpenter’s article, “Attracting Great Mentees” he wrote, “I am a strong believer that we perform roles in life best when we are skilled at both sides of the relationship. The best leaders also know how to be good followers. The best speakers know how to be great listeners. And, the best mentors know how to be a good mentee”.
An article from the Leadership Development Services - Mentoring Relationships: 7 tips for coming to closure notes, “The closure phase of the mentoring relationship presents the greatest challenge to individuals involved in the partnership. The reasons are many. Often, closure is fraught with anxiety and/or surprise. Even though closure may have been planned, relationships can end earlier than anticipated”.The mentee in this case recalls apologizing to the mentor for the way he handled the transition. Looking back he believes if he had “told her earlier, it would not have come as such a surprise”. Instead he announced his transition during its final stages. He believes an earlier admission would have allowed time for a better replacement and more acceptance of his transition.
Mentoring<br />[Lisa M. Faulkner]<br />[Motivation, Teams, Coaching & Mentoring <br />LMOL604[Regent University - Dr. Michael Hartsfield]<br />
Introduction <br />Mentoring by definition means to act as a teacher or counselor. In the mentor/mentee relationship the roles are sometimes interchanged.<br />The mentoring interaction is also often left off the table in defining the mentoring depth and reach that accomplishes its aim. The latter proves beneficial to both mentor/mentee as their participation organically fulfills needs greater than those outlined in the organizational structure. However ironic, it is predominantly the organizational environment that brings the two together.<br />This presentation examines organizational leader/follower dyads from inception to transition revealing the exchanges that facilitate mentor/mentee relationships. <br />
How Mentoring Begins…“In leading, mentors focus on the qualities of wisdom and judgment.” –Dr. Shirley Peddy<br />Leader/Follower Dyad I:<br />Mentor: Nikki Hudson/Patient Access Supervisor<br />Mentee: Regina Hameen/Coordinator for Patient Access<br />Leader/Follower Dyad II:<br />Mentor: Dr. Gwendolyn Harris/Principal Specialist <br />Mentee: Dr. Robert Scotland/Administrator<br />BOTH INTERVIEWS WITH THE DYADS REVEALED THE MENTORING PROCESS BEGINS BECAUSE OF ADMIRABLE QUALITIES BOTH THE MENTOR AND THE MENTEE SEE IN EACH OTHER. <br />THE MENTOR IS A “LEARNING LEADER WHO FACILITATES A LEARNING PROCESS, RATHER THAN A GURU WHO PASSES DOWN “THE WORD” TO A FAVORED INDIVIDUAL” (Free Management Library, 1997) .<br />THE MENTEE IS “COMMITTED TO EXPANDING THEIR CAPABILITIES” (Free Management Library, 1997)<br />
Examples of Admirable Qualities<br />DYAD I – Nikki & Regina <br />Mentor noticed the following <br />Qualities in Mentee:<br />Leadership Skills<br />Reliable<br />Trustworthy<br />Nikki said, “I noticed how others responded to her and how nurses even, would call and ask for her, sometimes before they asked for me.”<br />Mentee noticed the following <br />Qualities in Mentor:<br />Independent<br />Ethical<br />Credible<br />Regina said, “Nikki is younger than I am. I was married when I was her age but I would admire her and wonder if I presented myself the same way when I was her age.”<br />
Examples of Admirable Qualities<br />DYAD II – Dr. Harris & Dr. Scotland<br />Mentor noticed the following<br />qualities in Mentee:<br />Calm Spirit<br />Eloquence<br />Professionalism<br />Dr. Harris said, “His morals and standards were already set. It was the first time ever I didn’t have to express the importance of high standards.”<br />Mentee noticed the <br />following qualities in Mentor:<br />Passionate<br />Enthusiastic<br />Encouraging<br />Dr. Scotland said, “She brought a lot of energy to the environment…her spirit was contagious.”<br />
How Mentoring Progresses…<br />IN THE ORGANIZATIONAL DYADS REPRESENTED IN THIS PRESENTATIONTHE “MENTORING INTERACTIONS” FIRST WORKED TO FORM PROFESSIONAL BONDS THAT LEAD TO LIFE BONDS OF MUTUAL RESPECT. PEDDY SAYS, “THE ART IS TO TEACH GENTLY WITHOUT PHILOSPHIZING” (PEDDY 2001, P. 79)<br />
Teaching Gently = Modeling<br />BOTH MENTEES BELIEVE THEIR MENTORS TAUGHT THEM MORE THROUGH THEIR ACTIONS THAN THEIR WORDS. <br />DYAD I – NIKKI & REGINA<br />Regina says, “I pursued the position I’m in now because of Nikki…she walked me through all the new responsibilities. She is the best…she has your back and you can depend on her to help you to get the job done correctly, if you want to”.<br />DYAD II – DR. HARRIS & DR. SCOTLAND<br />Dr. Scotland says, “Our mutual bond came into fruition as I realized her level of professionalism and saw how she worked with others. Dr. Harris sets high expectations on everyone, including herself”.<br />
LIFE BONDS THROUGH MENTORING“It doesn’t matter what part of your life you are in. It always helps to have someone with wisdom and experience to help you explore the situation and consider options realistically.” – Dr. Shirley Peddy<br />DYAD I – NIKKI & REGINA<br />Regina says, “Nikki may be the only person I talk to outside of work…and I work with about 40 people. She’s a good boss and a good person.” <br />IS MENTORING ALWAYS A TEMPORARY RELATIONSHIP? <br />REGINA THINKS NOT, “I call her a friend…we don’t talk about work when we talk outside. This is not a temporary relationship”.<br />DYAD II – DR. HARRIS & DR. SCOTLAND<br />SHOULD MENTORS KEEP STRICT BOUNDARIES?<br />Dr. Harris says, “I can talk to him about anything. He has advised me spiritually and emotionally…I was the leader but I wasn’t always in charge. I would let my guard down to receive input from him”. <br />
Succession or Surprise?The time a mentor spends encouraging, supporting, listening & lending obviously builds a stronger mentee, and a proud mentor. The new found strength brings every mentee to the transition stage. In some instances with a planned & expected succession in mind and in others Peddy states, "Occasionally, there is a battle of wills followed by an abrupt ending". The Dyads from these interviews present both.<br />
Planned Succession: Leader/Follower Dyad I:Mentor: Nikki Hudson/Patient Access SupervisorMentee: Regina Hameen/Coordinator for Patient Access<br />Developments:<br /><ul><li>Mentor Provides “inside information” & warnings about certain “pitfalls”.
Mentor Provides advice on protocol & business relations.
Mentor Advises mentee how to deal with certain behaviors of other staff members.
Mentor Tells mentee she is “counting on her to do the right thing”.
Mentor Reminds mentee she wants her to “prepare for management” and “be the best”!</li></li></ul><li>Surprise Ending: Leader/Follower Dyad II:Mentor: Dr. Gwendolyn Harris/Principal Specialist Mentee: Dr. Robert Scotland/Administrator<br />Developments:<br /><ul><li>Mentor Admired all of the mentee’s qualities & characteristics.
Mentor Provided more insight & examples to mentee than previous leaders had.
Mentor Found mentee to be a mirror image of herself.
Mentor Noticed no variances in mentee’s behavior professionally or personally – appeared very sure and stable.
Mentor Believed mentee modeled her behaviors in his work ethics.
Mentor Felt they had a “perfect business marriage”.
Mentor Encouraged Mentee to pursue his new, surprising goals but was brought to tears with the news of his leaving.</li></li></ul><li>A Triad to Transition…Ecclesiastes 4:11-13 (New American Standard Bible)Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. <br />The Leader-Follower Dyads here prove like most they are only as strong as the environment they find themselves engrossed in. An environment has to exist that provides the need for and facilitates a mentor/mentee relationship. Therefore, the environment completes the triad as well as dispels the relationship at its appropriate time. Rather in planned succession or poignant surprise, both fulfill an allowed environmental experience meant for life progression. Therefore mentor/mentee relationships rarely end, but transition to future developments empowered by their mentoring sustenance. <br />
Interview Questions<br />For the Mentor<br />What was it about the Mentee that made you particularly interested in working with him/her beyond the normal work requirements? <br />did you warn them about any “inside information” or how to avoid certain “pitfalls”? what were some of those? <br />what personal experiences did you share with them you believed would help them succeed? <br />how did you know he/she could be trusted with confidential matters? <br />when and how did you feel you had formed a common bond with him/her?<br /> what kind of expectations did you set for the mentee? were they higher than ones you set for others? if so, why? <br />what are some ways you encouraged him/her? <br />were there times you ever had to apologize to him/her? <br />were there ever times you had to clarify your roles to the mentee? if so, why? <br />have you learned lessons as well from the mentee? <br />how have you helped him/her handle or address career or pay issues? this can be internally or externally? <br />if you still work with the mentee, do you believe the mentoring relationship is temporary? if so, how do you see it transitioning? or if it has how did it transition?<br />
Interview Questions<br />for the mentee<br />What was it about the Mentor that made you particularly interested in working with him/her beyond the normal work requirements? <br />what made the mentor/leader more credible than others in your eyes? <br />when and how did you feel you had formed a common bond with him/her? <br />do you find your mentor/leader to be a good listener? <br />do you feel they had empathy or sympathy for you in your work and/or life? <br />do you feel your mentor/leader sets higher expectations for you than she does others? Explain. <br />were there times you ever had to apologize to him/her? what were the circumstances? <br />what lessons in particular have you learned from your mentor/leader? <br />what kind of impact has your personal life had on your work and how did he/she help you through it? <br />what are some ways you feel your mentor/leader has encouraged you? <br />if you still work with the mentee, do you believe the mentoring relationship is temporary? if so, how do you see it transitioning? or if it has how did it transition? <br />
REFERENCES<br />Carpenter, D. Attracting Great Mentees - http://recession2008-2009.blogspot.com/2009/04/attracting-great-mentees.html<br />Center for Coaching & Mentoring - http://www.coachingandmentoring.com/mentsurvey.htm<br />Directory M Articles - http://articles.directorym.com/Qualified_Mentor-a973923.html<br />Duffy, W. 2004. Celebrating the art of mentoring by sharing the gift of knowledge<br />AORN Journal. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0FSL/is_6_80/ai_n8579085/<br />Free Management Library – A Complete Integrated Library for Non-Profits & For Profits - http://www.sonic.net/~mfreeman/mentor/key.htm; http://www.sonic.net/~mfreeman/mentor/protchar.htm<br />Leadership Development Services - Mentoring Relationships: 7 tips for coming to closure - http://www.leadservs.com/documents/article3.html<br />Morton-Cooper, A. & Palmer. A.Mentoring, preceptorship and clinical supervision : a guide to professional support roles in clinical practice. Blackwell Publishing. 2000<br />Peddy, S. The art of mentoring: lead, follow and get out of the way. 2001. Houston: Bullion Books.<br />