Family

1. Marriage and Family Relationship
REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES
ILOILO STATE COLLEGE OF FISHERIES
Tiwi, Barotac Nuevo, Iloilo
5007 Philippines
College of Education
Contact No.: (+63) 917-624-6100
Website: www.iscof.com.ph / Email: iscofpresident2016@gmail.com
CHAPTER 2
Marriage and Filipino family subsystems, ethnic traditions and family culture
Introduction
This lesson will explore the significance of the marriage and the Filipino family
subsystems, traditions and family culture.
Learning Outcomes:
1. Analyze the factors that affects the preparations for marriage among Filipinos; and
2. Relates the significance of Filipino culture and values in building Filipino family.
Motivation
Give at least 5 Filipino family culture that your family adapted until today.
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5.
Teaching Points
Preparations for Marriage among Early Filipinos
To understand the present patterns of marriage, we have to trace the roots in ancient
practices.
When a man decides to marry, he consults his parents and the elders in his family. If the
girl and her family are acceptable, the man’s family start to negotiate with the girl’s family in a
ceremony called pamamanhikan. Elderly representatives of both parties discuss the terms of a
dowry with tact and diplomacy. The dowry is a gift turned over by the groom to the bride’s parents
for all practical purposes in exchange for the bride.
Making preparation for Marriage in Modern Society
The dowry system is practiced in another form today. The dowry is usually a marriage
settlement consisting of land, a house or other products given by the groom’s family to the new
couple. This dowry represents the couple’s capital at the start of their new life together.
The engage couple should undergo serious preparation before entering a permanent
relationship bound by a very strong feeling of oneness and togetherness, committedto each other
for the great responsibility of building an institution called family. As in most Filipino families, there
is a strong influence and participation of the families of the engaged couple.

2. Marriage and Family Relationship
Consideration in Selecting a Marriage Partner
A. Marriageability and Traits
These are traits that make one a good marriage partner and provide the potential
to make marriage work.
1. Adaptability and Flexibility
2. Empathy
3. Emotional Stability
4. Domesticity
5. Similarities/Commonalities
6. Ability of Communicate
B. Character Traits
C. Health
D. Love
The Filipino Family
Filipino family is a family of Philippine origin. Philippine families exhibit Filipino cultures,
customs, traits and values, of which the most important value is family closeness
Structure of Filipino Family
The typical Filipino family consists of a husband, wife and children, extending to include
grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. This circle is often enlarged with the selection of a
child's godparents.
 Father
a. The father is acknowledged head of the family.
b. The father commands full authority in the family.
 Mother
a. The mother on the hand is considered be the light of the house (“ilaw ng tahanan”).
b. She is responsible in all housekeeping activities, taking care of the children,
planning of meals, and budgeting the income of the family.
 Child
a. The role of the child may depend on whether he is the eldest, middle, the
youngest or the only child.
b. The eldest takes charge in helping mothers take care of his siblings.
c. The middle child may assume the role of the eldest child.
d. The youngest is often the most loved although he is also expected to have his own
share in doing some household chores. The youngest always gets the special
treatment from his parents.
 The Filipino family is said to be patriarchal in authority. However, studies by other
sociologists reveal that the Filipino family is not "patriarchal" but is egalitarian.
 The Filipinos practice endogamy, the custom of marrying only within the limits of a
local community, clan, or tribe.
 In marriage, monogamy is the norm. Although polygamy is allowed among the
Muslims.
 Right from childhood Filipino child is made to believe that he belongs to the family.
 Since childhood, a Filipino is encouraged to tell all of his thoughts to his parents
and submit to his parents’ direction, counsel and advice.

3. Marriage and Family Relationship
 He is advised to be good because any disgrace that he commits is a disgrace to
the family. In times of misfortune he is assured of his family’s support, sympathy
and love.
 Even after finishing school, Filipino children are not obliged to get out of their
homes unless they want to.
 In fact, most of them keep their close relationship to their parents by staying at
least before they get married.
 Filipino Families are Hospitable.
Filipino Family: Culture, Customs and traditions
About Dating
Womenduring the Spanish regime were generally shy, refined and inhabited. Their
behavior was strictly monitored by the family to maintain their good reputation. A girl was
not seen alone with the man. A man got to know a woman only by being a friend of the woman’s
trusted friend who would help in case he wanted to have an opportunity to see the girl of his
dreams. He did not directly approach the woman; that was impolite.
About Marriage
Marriage is a sacred to the Filipinos. Parents train their sons and daughters in the
proper choice of a mate. Before marriage, the boy parents seek the approval of the girl’s parents
for Marriage with their daughter. This called Pamanhikan the grandparents of the man also join
the pamanhikan. The girl parents are not expected to agree immediately. They will first talk the
about the shortcomings of their daughter. If the future in-laws persist the parents of the bride give
them.
About Family
Filipino family share their lives together in a long-term committed relationship with
one another, raising offspring and usually in the same dwelling.
Religion, Arts, Literature & Music
- Predominantly Roman Catholic, 80.9% are Catholics, Aglipayan- 2%, Evangelical
Christians- 2.8%, Iglesias ni Cristo-2.3%, other Christian denomination-4.5%,
about 5% are Muslim and 5% practiced other religion and those with no religion.
- Visual Arts- painting, indigenous art, kut-kut art, Islamic art.
- Performing Arts- music and dance, cinema and television.
- Hispanic influence is based on Indigenous and European tradition. Folk dance,
music and literature have remained intact in the 21st century. These were
introduced in 16th century from Spain and Mexico.
- Filipino are lovers of art. Their art is reflected in the things they do and way they
believe in daily life. Our ancestors passed their time sinning awaits, and reading
stories about the bravery of the legendary heroes.
Architecture
- From Nipa Hut (Bahay Kubo), Spaniards introduced stones as housing and
building materials -Contemporary architecture has a distinctively western style
although pre-Hispanic housing is still common in rural areas.

4. Marriage and Family Relationship
Cuisine
- Filipino cook a variety of food influenced by the Spaniards, westerns and Asians.
- Philippines is considered the melting pot of Asia. e.g.- afritada, Arroz caldo
Calderata
Filipino Traits:
Paggalang
- It means being respectful or giving due respect for a person. Filipinos are
accustomed to using the words “po,” “opo,” and “ho” when they are conversing
with older people or sometimes to people with higher position or status in the
society.
- Using these words is customary in the Philippines and it shows sign of respect.
Paggalang can also be given to the elders by virtue of kissing their hands before
leaving and upon arrival. Younger memberof the family gives due respectto older
siblings by calling them kuya (older brother) or ate (older sister).
“Pakikisama” or Getting along well with people
- The yearning of the Filipinos to be accepted and well liked by his friends,
colleagues, boss and even relatives steers them perform pakikisama.
- The word pakikisama means helping others. This trait usually fosters cooperation
and doing good deeds which are favorable to other people
“Utang na Loob” or Debt of Gratitude
- Usually a system of obligation, when applied it gives duty and responsibility on
the part of the young siblings to serve and repay the favors done to them sooner
or later.
“Pagpapahalaga sa Pamilya” or Putting importance to family
- This implies that a person will put a high regards and concerns over the family
before anything else. • This is one of the reasons why a father or a mother in a
Filipino family will seek employment abroad just to earn decent earnings for their
family, to meet the family’s basic needs and want.
“Hiya” or Shame
 This controls the social behaviour of Filipino. It is a value that makes a Filipino be
obedient and be respectful to parents, older siblings and authorities. It is also a
key ingredient to the loyalty of one’s family
Strengths of the Filipino Character
 Pakikipagkapwa, utang na loob, sense of gratitude, family orientation.
to the filipino, one’s family is the source of personal identity, the source of
emotional and material support and the person’s main commitment and
responsibility.
 Joy and Humor – Filipinos have a cheerful and fun-loving approach to life and it’s
ups and downs which is manifested in the Filipino’s love for socials and
celebrations, in our capacity to laugh even in the most trying of times.
 Flexibility, Adaptability and Creativity
- Filipinos have a great capacity to adjust and to adapt to circumstances and
to the surrounding environment, both physical and social.
- Filipinos possess a tolerance for ambiguity, creative, resourceful, adept at
learning and able to improvise and make use of whatever is at hand in
order to create and produce.

5. Marriage and Family Relationship
- This quality is manifested in the ability of the filipino to adapt to life in any
part of the world, the ability to make new things out of scrap and to keep
old machines running, the ability to accept change.
 Hard Work and Industry -Filipinos have the capacity for hard work given the proper
conditions. The desire to raise one’s standard of living and to possess the
essentials of a decent life for one’s family, combined with the right opportunities
and incentive stimulate the filipino to work very hard.
- Faith and Religiosity – deep faith in God
- Ability to Survive- manifested in the capacity to endure difficult times and
to get by even on so little.
Strengths of the Filipino Character
 Extreme personalism – manifested in the tendency to give personal
interpretations to actions, to take things personally.
 Extreme family-centeredness – creates an image to which the filipino is fiercely
loyal to the detriment of concern for the larger community or common good. It
manifests in the use of office and power as a means of promoting the interests of
the family, patronage and political dynasties and in the protection of erring family
members.
 Lack of discipline – casual and relaxed attitude towards time and space which
manifests itself in lack of precision and compulsiveness,in poor time management
and in procrastination.
 Passivity and Lack of initiative – strong reliance on others, submissive to
authority, filipinos tend to be complacent and there rarely sense of urgency about
any problem.
 Colonial Mentality – 2 dimensions; Lack of patriotism and actual preference for
things foreign. It manifests in the alienation of the elite from their roots and from
the masses, as well as in the basic feeling of national inferiority that makes us
difficult to relate as equals to westerners.
 Kanya-kanya Syndrome- crab mentality, selfish, selfserving attitude.
Roots of Filipino Character
 Environment - Home, Social, Economic and Political
 Culture and Language
 History
 Educational System
 Religion
 Mass media
 Leadership and Role Models
Prof. Felipe M. De Leon, Jr. In his published article “Cultural Identity and
Development” states the following:
 Our educational system remains colonial rather than culturally appropriate. Our
colonial experience seems to have conditioned us to seek rather than create work
opportunities, to adapt rather than to innovate and to conform rather than to lead.
We borrow alien thought and value system and forms of expression and produce
nothing but derivatives and clones. We forget that we can only be truly productive
using our own thought processes.
 Our low self-esteem as Filipinos borders on self-contempt,the results of which are:

6. Marriage and Family Relationship
- Doubt in Filipino capacity for achievement.
- Perverse delight among Filipinos to constantly belittle themselves
- Serious lack of respect or contempt for each other.
- Instead of harnessing our culture as a vast resource of knowledge and
wisdom for sustainable development, we squander it by wallowing in a
negative self-image that is tantamount to our self-fulfilling prophecy.
 The biggest challenge then is to deconstruct the negative self-images and notions
for ourselves we have imbibed through years of colonial misrule and miseducation. The
foundation of this transformation is education through cultural awareness; a workable,
effective program of education that can make Filipinos more responsive and sensitive to
Filipino dignity, needs, values and cultural potentials and assets.
Assessment
Answer the following questions:
1. How does culture influence family life?
2. What are the strong and weak points of the Filipino Family? How can these be
strengthened?
3. Do you see any conflict between the employment of mothers today and their role
in the family? If there is any, describe it.
4. What do you suppose is the future of the Filipino family? Will it remain
monogamous? Can the Filipino family withstand the cultural changes taking place
in the contemporary world? Describe Filipino family then and now.
Additional Activity
1. Write a reflective journal about your family and compare it to some families you
know and how their culture/traditions different from your own.
References:
1. Cruz, Rosario Claridad, Ph. D. T.H.E in the 21st
Century
2. Garcia, Corazon, et al. Technology and Home Economics
3. Dr. Rojo, Cruz, et al. Technology and Home Economics, Revised Edition September,
2005
4. Santiago, Marites F. et al. Technology and livelihood Education. Published
Copyrighted 2013, distributed by St. Andrew Publishing House.
5. Marriage and Family Wellbeing. Volume 25, Number 2, 201
6. Prof. Felipe M. De Leon, Jr. In his published article “Cultural Identity and Development”
7. https://courses.lumenlearning.com/sociology/chapter/what-is-marriage-what-is-a-
family/
8. https://www.slideshare.net/heidi_apostol/marriage-and-family
9. https://www.yourarticlelibrary.com/marriage/marriage-characteristics-and-types-of-
marriage/6177
10. Lyzette L. Sayam-Magno
Kent Adrian M. Unato, LPT
Faculty