This document provides tips and strategies for improving communication between parents and teenagers. It discusses both verbal and nonverbal communication styles. Teenagers and adults often misunderstand each other due to differences in how they communicate and perceive emotions. The document encourages parents to engage with their teens, help and not hinder the relationship, work to resuscitate not ruin the relationship, and maintain an optimistic outlook. Specific strategies suggested include active listening, giving praise, treating each interaction separately, and finding opportunities for low-pressure communication.

1. H.E.R.O.
COMMUNICATION
TECHNIQUES
Lori Bitar

2. GOALS
1. Activate strategies to increase communication
skills.
2. Add to your resources and toolbox for school-
home communication.
3. Awaken-Your inner super HERO!

4. WHY HERO?
Everything matters!

5. HANDOUT FOR
NOTETAKING

7. COMMUNICATION
VERBAL
Words
Register-formal,
non, etc.
Frames- I feel..
NON VERBAL
Facial expressions
Tone of voice
Body language
Images
SELF TALK
Positive
Negative
Often unaware

8. BECOMING A H.E.R.O.
Strategic actions and daily behaviors/practice activities that:
H. Help, not hinder
E. Engage, not exclude
R. Resuscitate, not ruin
O.Overjoy, not obliterate

9. H
(HELP-not hinder)

10. HUMILITY

11. COMMUNICATION
Successes? Struggles?

12. SELF REFLECTION
Struggles-1
"I find that once you confess to also
being imperfect, it levels the playing
field and teens may feel it's safe to
open up," said Koch of Lewiston,
Idaho, in a response to a request for
comment on CNN's Facebook page. "I
tell my children that this is my first
experience at raising children and
parenting and I am bound to make
mistakes."
• Strengths-3

13. HELP
Get help-support and resources
• School resources
• District resources
• Community Agencies-Children’s Services Council
• Publications-Sports & Activities, Parenting magazines
• Colleges and online classes
• Webinars and Seminars
• EventBrite, etc.

14. TIPS AND TRICKS TO TRY
Self-awareness strategies
Be more specific about what you are
feeling as this helps them to articulate
their emotions too!
Acknowledge and recognize the feelings
behind their
words and actions.

15. E
(ENGAGE, don’t exclude)

16. EDUCATE
•EDUCATE yourself to know how to advocate
for your student
•Branding
•Graduation Requirements
•Colleges, Careers, and Scholarships

17. ENGAGE
Know your
Student
• Goals
• Challenges
• Objections
• Sources of
info.
Listen
• Active listening
• Paraphrase
Prioritize your
needs
Myriad of
demands

18. COMMUNICATION STYLES
New School vs Old School

19. TEEN COMMUNICATION
How do you think teenagers communicate?
Features of teenage communication with adults
• Verbal and non verbal signals such as the way they leave
their clothes lying about; the state of their bedrooms; their
body language.
• Teenagers communicate on far more emotional level than
adults and so are frequently misunderstood or misheard by
adults

20. MORE THOUGHTS….
• Many young people use
electronic and non face to
face means of
communicating with peers
when discussing sensitive
issues while adults do the
opposite – they use the
electronic means for
everyday chit chat and face
to face for serious issues.

21. • Young people may
misread body language
and facial expression in
adults due to changes in
brain chemistry.
• Young people seldom
respond well to being
questioned or asked for
details (this may indicate
mistrust to them or an
invasion of privacy).

22. ADULT COMMUNICATION
Features of adult communication with teenagers

23. Based on logic and
‘thought through’
responses rather than
emotion.
Use blame rather than
express how they are
feeling e.g. ‘You use this
place like a hotel’ rather
than ‘It hurts me that the
only times you are here are
when you need to eat, sleep
or change your clothes – I
feel excluded.

24. Use eye contact and name
primarily when addressing
something serious or wrong
and none for positive or
friendly interactions.

25. Over emphasize or repeat if
not getting the required
verbal responses.
Use passive aggressive
language and terminology
such as sarcasm and threats
to make a point.

26. WHAT TEENS THINK/HEAR
What teens think of adult communication skills
• Always in a rush
• Always angry/nagging
• Not really listening and easily distracted
• Get hung up on small details rather than hearing what the
speaker is trying to convey
• Don’t understand what is being communicated

27. WHAT ADULTS THINK/HEAR
What adults think of teen communication skills
• Never listen
• Only answer with a grunt or sound when asked a question
• Lie frequently
• Secretive – won’t talk about a lot of things
• Always angry
• Have to have the last word
• Won’t look you in the eye

28. TRY ONE OF THESE…
• Communicate on an ongoing basis, not just during
prescribed periods (the myth of quality time)
• Give praise and positive reinforcement to communication
that is clear and honest
• Treat each interaction as a new event – don’t let past
issues get in the way

29. R
(RESUSCITATE, not ruin)

30. RELATIONSHIPS

31. RESULTS
Absences Calendar of
Interim/
Report cards
Pinnacle/
APP
School
Website
Student
Testing
dates and
data
Project
information
and Rubrics
Teacher
website
and email
School
Counselor-
ACT/SAT
College
Scholarships
Ask for a
Meeting
What gets
measured, gets
done.

32. PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE

33. QUESTIONS TO ASK…
• 1. How can I find out about assignments, missing work, tests and
long range projects?
• 2. What strengths does my child demonstrate in your
classroom/subject area?
• 3. What does my child need to know to be successful in the
classroom and how can I help?
For more support, visit…..www.loribitar.com-SuperHERO
Rescue Club-Resources tab

34. TIPS AND TRICKS TO TRY
Self-management strategies
• Not firing questions at them or correcting their grammar or
vocabulary.
• Agree boundaries or procedure for new situations in advance
rather than reacting when things are not going as you would
like.
• Allow them to say what they want to say without having the
last word – particularly if they are upset about something.

35. O
(OVERJOY, not obliterate)

36. OBSERVE
Collect information and be aware of the things
you can control and act on them when it’s
time.

37. OPTIMISTIC
To my
parent
Super
HEROES!

38. TIPS AND TRICKS TO TRY
Seek out opportunities (going shopping for groceries, in the
car, when unpacking shopping, weekend breakfasts, eating
together) when no eye contact is possible.
Give praise and positive statements with eye contact and
using their name
By text message when information is to be given that you
want them to remember (dates, times etc.) so they can reread
at will.

39. CLOSURE/GOALS
1. Activate strategies to increase social emotional
learning and communication skills.
2. Add to your resources and toolbox for school-
home communication.
3. Awaken-Your inner super HERO!

40. POST IT…..- New Resources/Tools you acquired
- Best thing I did today
-HERO trait you are activating
THANK YOU for allowing me to spend time with
you today!

42. BOOK SIGNING

43. Parents DO UNDERSTAND! 
• https://youtu.be/jW3PFC86UNI

45. REFERENCES
• https://gillhines.wordpress.com/2010/12/06/communication-between-parents-and-
teens/
• http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/19/living/talking-to-teens-communication-
parents/index.html
• http://www.browardprevention.org/wp-
content/uploads/2016/07/emotional_intellegence_13-18.pdf
• http://www.parentcoachcards.com/