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Timeless principles in making friends and influencing people

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Learn and practice these fundamental principles will make you a better friend and help you to get noticed in this noisy world. Sincerely listening to other people's ideas will enhance your ability to having your voice heard. This is key to improving your communications both online and offline.

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Timeless principles in making friends and influencing people

  1. 1. Timeless Principles in Making Friends and Influencing People Facilitator: Joyce Liwww.FullnessOfLife.com Feb 2013 1
  2. 2. Workshop Goals1. Practice these timeless principles:  The 3-C Principle in Handling People  The L-I-O-N Principle to Make People Like You  12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls2. Celebrate your communication strengths and commit to work on at least 2 growth areas in building strong relationshipswww.FullnessOfLife.com Why  2
  3. 3. Why Practice these Principles: Help Build Strong Relationships • Open Doors for Future Opportunities • Reach Out to Influence Others • Help Each Other through Ice Breaker  Networkingwww.FullnessOfLife.com 3
  4. 4. People are Different Popular Sanguine Powerful Choleric www.FullnessOfLife.com Peaceful Phlegmaticwww.FullnessOfLife.com Perfect Melancholy
  5. 5. Friends… A) Think about your best friend… ◦ What do you like about him/her? B) Think about the person that you would avoid sitting next to during a party… ◦ What bothers you about him/her?www.FullnessOfLife.com Outline  5
  6. 6. Outline Part I 3-C Principles in Handling People Part II L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Part III 12 Principles in Influencing PeopleWorkshop material adapted from “How To Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie www.FullnessOfLife.com 6
  7. 7. 3-C Principles in Handling People What are your 3-Cs?www.FullnessOfLife.com 7
  8. 8. 3-C Principles in HandlingPeople 1. Cultivate a genuine interest in other’s well-being 2. Credit the other person’s “emotional account” 3. Create an appetite for more of youwww.FullnessOfLife.com 8
  9. 9. 3.1 Cultivate a genuine interestin other’s well-being 1. What is in it for them? 2. What are their needs? 3. Don’t criticize or condemnwww.FullnessOfLife.com 9
  10. 10. 3.2 Credit the other person’s“Emotional Account”  Acknowledge and show sincere appreciation  Making deposits into their “emotional bank account1” or “love bank2” Note 1: Concept from Dr. Stephen Covey’s book – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Note 2: Concept from Dr. Gary Chapman’s book – Five Love Languageswww.FullnessOfLife.com 10
  11. 11. 3.3 Create an appetite for moreof you  Making yourself loveable: ◦ Amiable (pleasing, being friendly, social, admirable) ◦ Being helpful ◦ Generate positive energywww.FullnessOfLife.com 3 Cs Recap  11
  12. 12. 3-C Principles in Handling People Recap: 1. Cultivate a genuine interest in other’s well-being 2. Credit the other person’s “emotional account” 3. Create an appetite for more of youwww.FullnessOfLife.com Reflection  12
  13. 13. Reflection Do you have a “favorite” principle, why?www.FullnessOfLife.com L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You  13
  14. 14. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like Youwww.FullnessOfLife.com 14
  15. 15. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Listen Well - Be a good listenerwww.FullnessOfLife.com 15
  16. 16. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Importance - Make the other person feel importantwww.FullnessOfLife.com (do it sincerely) 16
  17. 17. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like YouOther’s Interest First - Talk about things that interest him/her 投其所好 www.FullnessOfLife.com 17
  18. 18. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Name - Remember his/her name Michelle, I will surely miss you when you go away for University! Rebecca, I’ll miss you too!www.FullnessOfLife.com L-I-O-N Principles Recap  18
  19. 19. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like YouRecap1. Listen Well - Be a good listener2. Importance - Make the other person feel important (do it sincerely)3. Other’s Interest First - Talk about things that interest him/her 投其所好4. Name - Remember his/her namewww.FullnessOfLife.com Reflection  19
  20. 20. Reflection Go to your partner, have a chat -practice being “amiable” 5 minutes Debriefwww.FullnessOfLife.com 12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls  20
  21. 21. 12 Principles in Influencing People 1. Avoid arguments 2. Show respect for his/her opinions - Never say “you’re wrong” 3. If you are wrong, admit it 4. Be a sincere friend 5. Let the other person talk 6. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediatelywww.FullnessOfLife.com 21
  22. 22. 12 Principles in Influencing People7. Get cooperation by letting him/her feel that the idea is his or hers 8. See things from his/her point of view 9. Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and desires 10. Appeal to the nobler motives (higher standards, causes, goals or aspirations, etc.) 11. Dramatize your ideas 12. Throw down a challengewww.FullnessOfLife.com 22
  23. 23. 12 Principles in Influencing People #1 Avoid argumentswww.FullnessOfLife.com 23
  24. 24. 12 Principles in Influencing People #2 Show respect for his/her opinions - Never say “you’re wrong” You are dog wrong!www.FullnessOfLife.com 24
  25. 25. 12 Principles in Influencing People #3 If you are wrong, admit it I am so sorry to cause such a scene, next time I will avoid rush hour traffic!www.FullnessOfLife.com 25
  26. 26. 12 Principles in Influencing People #4 Be a sincere friendwww.FullnessOfLife.com Mar 4, 2011 MCAC English Adult Fellowship 26
  27. 27. 12 Principles in Influencing People #5 Let the other person talkwww.FullnessOfLife.com Mar 4, 2011 MCAC English Adult Fellowship 27
  28. 28. 12 Principles in Influencing People #6 Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediatelywww.FullnessOfLife.com 28
  29. 29. 12 Principles in Influencing People #7 Get cooperation by letting him/her feel that the idea is his or herswww.FullnessOfLife.com 29
  30. 30. 12 Principles in Influencing People #8 See things from his/her point of viewwww.FullnessOfLife.com 30
  31. 31. 12 Principles in Influencing People #9 Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and desires >>>>>>>>> %%%%%% <<<<<<<<www.FullnessOfLife.com 31
  32. 32. 12 Principles in Influencing People #10 Appeal to the nobler motives (higher standards, cause s, goals or aspirations, etc.)www.FullnessOfLife.com 32
  33. 33. 12 Principles in Influencing People #11 Dramatize your ideaswww.FullnessOfLife.com 33
  34. 34. 12 Principles in Influencing People #12 Throw down a challengewww.FullnessOfLife.com 34
  35. 35. 12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls 1. Avoid arguments 2. Show respect for his/her opinions – Avoid “you’re wrong” 3. If you are wrong, admit it 4. Be a sincere friend 5. Let the other person talk 6. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately 7. Letting him/her feel that the idea is his or hers 8. See things from his/her point of view 9. Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and desires 10. Appeal to the nobler motives, aspirations, etc. 11. Dramatize your ideas 12. Throw down a challenge Reflections www.FullnessOfLife.com 35
  36. 36. Reflection1. Are you good at influencing people to your way of thinking?2. Do any of these principles surprise you?www.FullnessOfLife.com 36
  37. 37. Reflection3. Which principle(s) do you master well already?www.FullnessOfLife.com 37
  38. 38. Reflection4. Growth Opportunities: ◦ Pick 2 principles to work on in the near futurewww.FullnessOfLife.com 38
  39. 39. Reflection 5. Which principle(s) are best to be applied to friendship evangelism?www.FullnessOfLife.com 39

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