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Leading through conflict

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Leading through conflict

  1. 1. LeadingthroughConflict Presented by: Barry L. Davis, MS, CTC, MCDP Director of Career Services, LMA Consulting
  2. 2. Conflict is unavoidable. . . actually necessary, even critical to success. . . a commitment to avoid conflict can be catastrophic
  3. 3. Conflict is necessaryEverest – the “2 o’clock rule”
  4. 4. Conflict is critical Columbia Mission
  5. 5. Conflict is unavoidable Bay of Pigs Invasion
  6. 6. Conflict is unavoidable. . . actually necessary, even critical to successBay of Pigs vs. Missiles of October vs .
  7. 7. Conflict is unavoidable . . . actually necessary, even critical to success Bay of Pigs vs. Missiles of October Role of PresidentPresent at all meetings Deliberately absent at times Role of ParticipantsAdvocates for particular depts. Skeptical generalists Group Norms Defer to experts, protocol Minimize status/rank
  8. 8. Conflict is unavoidable. . . actually necessary, even critical to success Bay of Pigs vs. Missiles of October Involvement of ParticipantsExtreme secrecy, top level Direct contact, various levels Use of SubgroupsOne small group, autonomous Two subgroups, debating Consideration of Alternatives No competing plans Alternatives discussed Institutionalized Dissent No “Devil’s Advocates” Two assigned this “role”
  9. 9. Leading through Conflict . . .3 Basic ApproachesThe Demagogue The Manager The Mediator
  10. 10. Leading through Conflict The Demagogue•Leads through fear, threats, intimidation•Turns opponents into scapegoats•Uses lies and propaganda to dehumanize theOther•Resorts to violence to dominate or destroy theOther
  11. 11. Leading through Conflict The Manager•Operates on an exclusive, limited definition of “us”•Defines purpose in terms of the self-interest of owngroup•Cannot/will not deal with the issues, decisions orconflicts that cross boundaries•Is productive and effective only on home turf
  12. 12. Leading through Conflict The Mediator•Strives to act on behalf of the whole, not just apart•Thinks systematically, committed to ongoinglearning•Builds trust through bridges across dividing lines•Seeks innovation and opportunity to transformconflict
  13. 13. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 1. Integral VisionCommitting ourselves to holding all sides of the conflict, in all their complexity, in our minds and hearts When you go around the earth in an hour and a half, you begin to recognize that your identity is with the whole thing. – Russell Schweickart, U.S. astronaut
  14. 14. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 1. Integral VisionCommitting ourselves to holding all sides of the conflict, in all their complexity, in our minds and hearts •Check your vision •Don’t swap boundaries •Watch your language •Visit the Balcony •Develop a mature mind •Learn to see through walls
  15. 15. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 2. Systems ThinkingIdentifying all (or as many as possible) of the significant elementsrelated to the conflict and understanding the relationship between themWhere do you define the boundaries of the system of which you are a part? This is one of the most critical leadership questions today. – Ronald Heifetz, JFK School of Government, Harvard University
  16. 16. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 2. Systems ThinkingIdentifying all (or as many as possible) of the significant elementsrelated to the conflict and understanding the relationship between them •Keep it simple •Think systematically about your role •View from “outside of the box” •Ask, “And then what?” •Think twice before naming enemies
  17. 17. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 3. Presence Applying all our mental, emotional, and spiritual resources to witnessing ourselves and the conflict of which we are now a partTrue self-interest teaches selflessness . . . Heaven and earth endurebecause they are not simply selfish but exist in behalf of all creation. The wise leader, knowing this, keeps selfishness in check and, by doing so, becomes even more effective. – Lao Tzu, 6th century Chinese sage
  18. 18. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 3. Presence Applying all our mental, emotional, and spiritual resources towitnessing ourselves and the conflict of which we are now a part •Find your own path •Practice presence, even in the face of fear •Become a reliable witness •Pay attention to energy •Clarify your motivation •Promote presence at meetings •Cultivate quiet presence
  19. 19. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 4. InquiryAsking questions that unlock essential information about the conflict that is vital to understanding how to transform it “Why do you pray?” the young man asked his teacher. “I pray to the God within me,” the old teacher replied, “that He will give me the strength to ask Him the right questions.” – Elie Wiesel, Night
  20. 20. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 4. InquiryAsking questions that unlock essential information about the conflict that is vital to understanding how to transform it •Make questions count •Interrogation is NOT inquiry •Lean questions toward the light •Don’t blame, listen more deeply •Practice especially with those you hate – and love •Take listening tests •Learn from Master Mediators •Listen especially to those who have no voice
  21. 21. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 5. Conscious Conversation Developing our awareness of the full range of choices about how we speak and listenDemocracy needs a place to sit down. – Hannah Arendt, philosopher
  22. 22. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 5. Conscious ConversationDeveloping our awareness of the full range of choices about how we speak and listen •Go beyond Robert’s Rules •Set ground rules beforehand •Make rules owned by all •Let go of “winning” arguments •Replace abstractions with relationships •Leave your comfort zone
  23. 23. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 6. Dialogue Communicating in order to catalyze the human capacity for bridging and innovationIn most conflicts, the main part of the problem . . . consists in getting people to talk and to listen to one another. – Howard Raiffa, The Art and Science of Negotiation
  24. 24. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 6. Dialogue Communicating in order to catalyze the human capacity for bridging and innovation •Seek the Ripple Effect •Uncover assumptions •Make hidden agendas visible •Equalize power relationships •When necessary, add action to dialogue •Rebuild trust when it runs low •Challenge arrogance with dialogue •Use respect to dissolve stereotypes
  25. 25. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 7. BridgingBuilding actual partnerships and alliances that cross the borders that divide an organization or community The world that we have made, as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far, creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level at which we created them. – Albert Einstein
  26. 26. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 7. BridgingBuilding actual partnerships and alliances that cross the borders that divide an organization or community •Build bridges one step at a time •Bridge idealism and practicality •Build from the middle, not just from the top •Think like a minority •Raise the level of the game •Learn to bridge by doing it •Think webs, not walls
  27. 27. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 8. InnovationCatalyze social or entrepreneurial breakthroughs that foster new options for moving through conflicts A good design is not a compromise. – Amory Lovins, inventor
  28. 28. Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools 8. InnovationCatalyze social or entrepreneurial breakthroughs that foster new options for moving through conflicts •Don’t seek the limelight •Practice collaboration, don’t just preach it •Emphasis coleaders and teams, not individuals •Fix the process as well as the problem •Ensure fair rules •Learn to dance
  29. 29. Conflict – Affective vs. ConstructiveBefore During AfterRules Reframe Reflectestablished in recast in a evaluateadvance different light process, learnRoles Redescribeclarified for present ideas, Repaireach data in novel damagedindividual ways relationshipsinvolved and hurt Revisit feelingsRespect basic factsbuild and Remembermutually, assumptions and celebrateconsidering at impasses successescognitivestyles
  30. 30. Leading through Conflict Some excellent resources on the subject . . . Leadership and Self-Deception The Arbinger Institute, 2002Leading Through Conflict: How Successful Leaders Transform Differences into Opportunities Gerzon, Mark, Harvard Business School Press, 2006 Why Great Leaders Don’t Take Yes For An Answer Roberto, Michael, A., Wharton School Publishing, 2005 The Wisdom of Crowds Surowiecki, James, Doubleday, 2004
  31. 31. 1848 Charter Lane Lancaster, PA 17601-5896 717.509.8889 877.562.2888 www.LMAconsulting.cc Barry L. Davis, MS, CTC, MCDP bdavis@LMAconsulting.cc http://www.linkedin.com/in/barrydavismcdphttp://www.facebook.com/CareerServicesLMA http://twitter.com/bl_davis

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