1. Developing your Academic Language
1. Look at the three versions of text below. What is changing each time and how is it
improving?
Original Better Even better
People generally think that
criminals should be strung
up. However, is
punishment always a great
idea (Quarshie, 2015)? I
think it’s terrible to only
punish them.
It is generally thought that
crime should be punished.
However, it is possible that
punishment is not always a
suitable approach
(Quarshie, 2015).
Criminologists have stated
that it is generally thought
that crimes should be
punished (O’Brien, 2005;
Beko, 2013). However,
Quarshie (2015)
persuasively argues that
punishment is not always a
suitable approach.
2. In pairs, re-write each phrase, using alternative words that would be better suited
for an academic essay:
a) I think Singh’s research has had a massive impact on how we view international
tourism today.
b) In a nutshell, the research shows….
c) The work of Buhari (2018) proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that ecotourism
has benefits for local communities.
d) Studies into local tourism on Merseyside haven’t always considered the areas
surrounding the city of Liverpool.
2. 3. Can you fill in the gaps in the extract below with some appropriate signposting and
transition words and phrases?
_____________ Thunholm (2009) found no difference between age and decision-making
style, the focus of his study was to determine if there were relationships between team
leaders and non-team leaders in the military, so his age demographic was fairly limited.
______________ several researchers did find relationships between age and decision-making
style. Loo (2000) found older respondents displaying a more rational decision-making style
when compared to younger respondents. __________, Agbaje, McAlllister & Kwame (2009)
found difference in age in that adults were more rational, and less intuitive. Sadler-Smith
(2004) found difference in that intuitive decision-making style was negatively correlated with
the number of year’s management experience. ____________, it is expected that there are
significant correlations to be found between age and decision-making style.
_______________________________ possible cultural differences between the research on
the correlation between age and decision-making styles.
4 .In your groups, identify and correct errors in this student’s academic language and
note down what advice you would give them to correct and improve their academic
writing.
Recycling is the most important issue in Britain today! So why doesn’t everyone do it? I think
that the main factors that affect the levels of recycling in households are the household
density and the socio-economic factors of the household and the surrounding area. High
rise building occupants can’t be bothered recycling as they have nowhere to store large food
waste containers and also have no outside garden or curb space were recycling can be
collected from (Ferguson, 2013). This is something that needs to be addressed in loads of
major cities, an example of this is Westminster in London (London Assemble Environment
Committee, 2017). The socio-economic areas that have the lowest recycling are the ones
with more higher up class of people in nicer houses. You get more recycling in suburbs
(Ahmed, 2018). It’s absolutely obvious that a product has to be made for people in flats.
