H E I D I H E L FA N D
linkedin.com/in/heidihelfand
A PRACTICAL INTRODUCTION TO COACHING
H E I D I H E L FA N D
H E I D I H E L FA N D . C O M @ H E I D I H E L FA N D
@heidihelfand
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W O R K S H O P A L L I A N C E
What do you know about
coaching?
I M P R O M P T U N E T W O R K I N G
HOW WAS YOUR
LISTENING?
WHAT DOES…
COACHING ACTUALLY
MEAN?
Coaching helps people
catalyze change
and solve their own
problems.
Current State
(known)
Future State
(unknown)
From crrglobal, arne mindell
EDGE THEORY OF CHANGE
Coaching is not about
giving advice or telling
people what to do.



That is consulting or
mentoring.
To coach (and communicate
better) you must increase
your awareness of your
listening & control it.
Listening
guides coaching.
@heidihelfand
1 6
FOR COACHING
FOR COMMUNICATION
FOR LIFE
3 TO O L S
@heidihelfand
1 7
TOOL #1
LISTENING LEVELS
BECOME SELF-AWARE OF
YOUR LISTENING AND 

CONTROL IT
@heidihelfand
1 8
LEVEL 1
INWARD FOCUSED

Inward
“All about me”
“distracted listening”
@heidihelfand
2 1
LEVEL 2
ATTENTION OUT
Sharp focus
“Over there”
@heidihelfand
2 4
LEVEL 3
BODY LANGUAGE

ENVIRONMENT

@heidihelfand
2 8
• LEVEL 2 ATTENTION OUT
• LEVEL 1 INWARD FOCUSED
• LEVEL 3 BODY LANGUAGE/

ENVIRONMENT
• Lock it in!
L I S T E N I N G L E V E L S
@heidihelfand
2 9
FIND A PARTNER

TELL EACH OTHER
THE 3 LEVELS OF LISTENING
USE THE HAND SIGNALS
T E A C H B A C K
@heidihelfand
3 0
TOOL #2
SHOW YOU ARE LISTENING
MIRRORING
PARAPHRASING
PHYSICAL
MIRRORING
REPEAT WORDS
MIRRORING
I love my new team.
I feel very HAPPY.
You feel HAPPY.
REPEAT WORDS
MIRRORING
It took us all week
but we finished it.
All week, huh?
PARAPHRASE
(SAY IT BACK
WITH
DIFFERENT
WORDS)
I worked on it
for hours, then
I found the solution.
It took a while but
you found it.
PARAPHRASE
(SAY IT BACK
WITH
DIFFERENT
WORDS)
We went to see the
customer and showed
them our idea.
Cool! You showed it
to them.
@heidihelfand
3 7
INTERACTIVE PRACTICE:
LISTENING
MIRRORING
PARAPHRASING
@heidihelfand
3 8
STAND UP
FORM TWO
CIRCLES-One
inside the other

FACE EACH OTHER
MAD TEA PARTY
-Liberating structure in development
@heidihelfand
I CAME TO THIS WORKSHOP
BECAUSE…
Inside circle:
Outside circle:
LISTEN, MIRROR,
PARAPHRASE
DING
@heidihelfand
(ding ding)

MOVE TWO SPACES TO THE
RIGHT
@heidihelfand
MY LISTENING IS…
@heidihelfand
LEARNING TO COACH
WILL HELP ME…
@heidihelfand
A QUESTION I HAVE
ABOUT COACHING IS…
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SOMETHING I PLAN TO DO
WITH THIS INFORMATION IS…
@heidihelfand
4 5
DEBRIEF
@heidihelfand
4 6
LET’S BUILD ON THIS
@heidihelfand
4 7
TOOL #3
“WHAT”
QUESTIONS
EVOKE INSIGHT AND
FORWARD MOVEMENT
ARE POWERFUL QUESTIONS THAT
@heidihelfand
4 8
A R E N O T A B O U T …
INFORMATION GATHERING
“WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO TELL BOB
WHEN YOU SEE HIM NEXT WEEK?”
THE “WHAT” QUESTIONS WE WANT
X
@heidihelfand
4 9
D O N O T R E S U LT I N …
ONE WORD RESPONSES
“WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?”
“BLUE”
THE “WHAT QUESTIONS” WE WANT
X
@heidihelfand
5 0
H E L P T H E M T O …
DISCOVER
THEIR OWN SOLUTIONS
WHAT THEY WANT
INSIGHTS
“I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE
THAT!”
THE “WHAT” QUESTIONS WE WANT
@heidihelfand
5 1
C O - A C T I V E E M P H A S I S
EVOKE PERSONAL EXPLORATION
VERSUS INFORMATION
GATHERING
“WHAT” QUESTIONS
@heidihelfand
5 2
POWERFUL OR NOT?
1. Did you enjoy our offsite last week?
2. What does the situation mean to you as a person?
3. How will you get started?
Not Powerful
Powerful
Powerful, but less than #2
@heidihelfand
5 3
WHAT’S IMPORTANT ABOUT THIS?



WHAT ELSE?



WHAT DO YOU WANT?




WHAT’S THE FIRST STEP?
EXAMPLE “WHAT” QUESTIONS
Inspired by co-active coaching & The Coaching Habit
@heidihelfand
5 4
LISTEN IN LEVELS 2/3
TO DETERMINE THE
“WHAT” QUESTIONS TO
ASK
@heidihelfand
5 5
LET’S PUT IT TOGETHER
INTO A COACHING
CONVERSATION
1:1 COACHING CONVERSATIONS
What’s on your mind?
TOOL #1: Listening Levels 2/3
TOOL #2: Mirror/Paraphrase

TOOL #3: Ask What Questions
Get them into
Action or Being 

Plan the
followup
Adapted from Coaches Training Institute
@heidihelfand
5 7
L E T ’ S P R A C T I C E
STAND UP,
FIND A PARTNER
@heidihelfand
5 8
K E Y G O A L
PRACTICE
HAVING A COACHING
CONVERSATION
@heidihelfand
5 9
ONE PERSON STARTS:
SHARE A CHALLENGE
OTHER PERSON:
-LISTEN

-ASK “WHAT” QUESTIONS.
-FORWARD ACTION/BEING
WHAT’S IMPORTANT ABOUT
THIS?



WHAT’S THE REAL
CHALLENGE HERE?


WHAT ELSE?



WHAT DO YOU WANT?




WHAT’S ONE STEP YOU
COULD TAKE?
SWITCH
1:1 COACHING CONVERSATIONS
What’s on your mind?
TOOL #1: Listening Levels 2/3
TOOL #2: Mirror/Paraphrase

TOOL #3: Ask What Questions
Get them into
Action or Being 

Plan the
followup
Adapted from Coaches Training Institute
@heidihelfand
6 1
S U M M A R Y
3 TOOLS
• LISTENING LEVELS
• MIRRORING/PARAPHRASING
• “WHAT” QUESTIONS
The building blocks of coaching…
@heidihelfand
6 2
• How do you plan to apply what
you’ve learned today?

Thoughts, Puzzles, Takeaways?
H E I D I H E L FA N D
linkedin.com/in/heidihelfand
A PRACTICAL INTRODUCTION TO COACHING

A Practical Introduction to Coaching