10 commandments of leading ladies - RAAF
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10 commandments of leading ladies - RAAF
- 1. 10 Commandments of Leading Ladies Keys to personal and professional success
- 2. Keeping it real • What do you love most about your role? • What’s your #1 challenge as a leader with or without title?
- 3. The harsh reality • Successful women know that in business and in life, we often find ourselves at a disadvantage. • We are routinely underestimated, underutilized and even underpaid. • Studies show that women need to perform at extraordinarily high levels, just to appear competent compared to men.
- 4. Leading ladies – still skinny on top • SMH recently applauded corporate Australia for setting a record for the number of female directors joining big company boards. However the figures tell a different story. • The Australian Institute of Company Directors show that women on boards still only make up 13.5% and yet we are over 50% of Australia’s population.
- 5. The inner critic In addition to the external barriers erected by society, women are hindered by even stronger barriers – the barriers within. We hold ourselves back by: •Lacking confidence •Not raising our hands •Pulling back when we should be leaning in.
- 6. We keep listening to that little voice in our head…saying we’re not good enough.
- 7. • We think doing more is the answer. • We think “multi-tasking” is the only the way. • We think keeping up appearances will strengthen our reputation. • No wonder so many of us are feeling: FINE! • Freaked out • Insecure • Neurotic & • Emotional
- 8. I know because I’ve been there too. -Adrenal fatigue -No female hormones -Overwhelmed -Lacking joy I thought the solution was to work harder.
- 9. How do you avoid getting sucked down into the vicious vortex of overwhelm
- 10. 10 Commandments of Leading Ladies To help you ‘lean in’ and play a bigger game in your personal and professional life.
- 13. Which is why you should “Eat the Frog”
- 14. What’s your why?Write down four tasks you will do tomorrow – circle your frog
- 15. #2 thou shalt work harder on yourself than you do on your job
- 16. ‘Better Me’ Poll Be honest, how much time do you spend on your self education each week? A) little to none, who has the time? B) Less than an hour, I’m squeezing a little in C) Several hours, I prioritise it!
- 17. IQ Focus - Stick em up
- 18. #3 thou shalt not speak with forked tongue
- 19. Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt
- 20. Choose your words carefully.
- 21. #4 thou shalt learn to say NO!
- 22. YES is easier to say. But NO is easier to do. No is a complete sentence.
- 23. #5 thou shalt speak up
- 24. The Heart of the Issue JHH – Speaking up for what’s right
- 25. A recent study at Columbia and Harvard universities found when 42 participants were asked to either hold a power pose or a contractive, low- power pose for 2 minutes that the power poses stimulated hormones linked to feelings of power. It also the stress hormone cortisol. Plus, high-power posers reported feeling significantly more “powerful” and “in charge” than low-power posers did – allowing them to perform better. THE POWER OF POSING
- 26. TIME TO POWER POSE AND CLAIM YOUR UQ POWER
- 27. #6 thou shalt have a funny bone
- 28. Practice ‘one buttock playing’
- 29. #7 thou shalt become fluent in body language
- 30. The most powerful communication tool at your disposal is not your mouth, it’s your entire body. Become fluent in body language as your second language and watch your results soar. Use Your Whole Body
- 31. - 7% of meaning is in the words that are spoken -38% of meaning is paralinguistic – the way we say it -55% of meaning is in body language & expression WHY YOU MUST BECOME FLUENT IN A SECOND LANGUAGE
- 32. “When it comes to body language, there are some who have better vocabularies than others.” Doug Larson
- 33. body language practice www.UQPower.com.au “It’s important we get this right. Things must change around here.”
- 34. #8 THOU SHALT CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY
- 35. ARE YOU CLOSE CONNECTIONS PEOPLE OF CIRCUMSTANCE?
- 36. Your Fab Five “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn •Consider the five people you spend the most time with…how’s that working for you?
- 37. MY INNER CIRCLE
- 38. All in this together exercise Find a partner observe their appearance Stand back to back without touching Change three things about your appearance Turn around and see if you can pick what
- 39. Second Chance • There are no rules about what to change • You can use any resources in the room • Stand back to back again and change three more things about your appearance • Turn around and see if you can pick what changed
- 40. Vote for how quickly you changed your appearance back to how it was after the exercise: 1 – immediately 2 – 5 mins 3 – haven’t yet changed back
- 41. #9 thou shalt AIM TO GIVE MORE THAN YOU GET
- 42. GIVE MORE THAN YOU GET
- 43. “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
- 44. #10 thou shalt Start With U
- 45. “Always be a first – rate version of yourself , instead a second rate version of somebody else.” Judy Garland
- 46. Turn to the person next to you and say:
- 47. “You don’t need to learn your UQ, you were born unique. All you have to do is unlearn being boring, bland & ordinary.” Heidi Alexandra Pollard
- 49. Thanks it’s been powerful… Contact us: support@UQPower.com.au Follow us: Twitter: @UQPower Facebook https://www.facebook.com/UQpower Resources: http://www.uqpower.com.au
Editor's Notes
- 7.54am The rise in women on corporate boards comes after new Australian Securities Exchange diversity guidelines, which kick in this financial year and forcing companies to disclose the number of women on staff, in senior management and on the board. It also follows warnings from the federal government that gender quotas could be considered if diversity isn’t increased. Our Government also has room for improvement with women on boards at: Federal (31%) and New South Wales (23.7%)
- Share a story about a client or my own story Appreciative inquiry – build on what works – SWOT – women go straight to the Weaknesses
- 2.15pm
- Meet Ruth
- 7.56am
- 8.08am Thou Shalt Not Fritter TimeWhy wait to start achieving your goals? You won’t be where you are right now forever. As a leader or emerging leader you have an invaluable voice and perspective your company, community, family or the world needs. How are you currently using your time? Are you focused, on course, awake and living in the moment? Are you moving towards your goals and plans and regularly achieving milestones? Are you allowing distractions, interruptions and bright shiny objects to take you off course? Be mindful with your time, it’s a sacred resource that cannot be replenished. How do Leading Ladies use their time? They do not dwell on the past like victims, instead they live in the present moment while committing to their future goals. (draw victor/victim on board) To make the most of my valuable resource I use an electronic timer for important day to day tasks and I threw away my television over 7 years ago! I also write an annual gratitude letter setting out my goals for the year and each month I create a monthly plan to move me towards those goals. It is hard to stay on track every inch of the way. If you could then you wouldn’t be human. No one has ever been on a diet and never broken it by eating something taboo. No one is always perfect in what they say, think and do, however the more constant you are in your convictions, the more impact you will have as a leader. Being a leader is a 24/7 practice, once you have committed you should never stray too far. It is a disservice to yourself and others to be inconsistent in your vision and beliefs. If you send out mixed signals people will find it hard to join and follow you. No one follows their path 100% of the time but the more you think like a CEO, keep your eye on the prize and stay true to your purpose, the closer you’ll getting stuff done, faster, with more support and with less fuss. Avoid time wasters. Who are your biggest time wasters?
- Front page of handout – why become a leader? Leading Ladies light their own spark and ignite the spark in others. They also: Practice gratitude, compassion and positive thinking Invest in social connections Focus on resilience Live in the present moment while commiting to their future goals Take good care of themself – spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically Identify and maximise their character strengths rather than dwell on any weaknesses Focus on being authentically themselves Practice optimism, compassion and empathy. As a person growing into becoming a Living Leaders I work harder on myself than I do on my job – I am constantly reinventing myself, continually attending courses and seminars, reading a book a week, working with my coach mentor and travelling to meet with my mastermind to learn new information, make more connections and discover new ways of being. What are you doing to grow your knowledge and improve yourself? What do you do to light the sparkle in your own eyes? And if not ask yourself “Who am I being that my eyes aren’t sparkling?” Living leaders enable other people: be the space instead of the hero. Create the conditions instead of controlling the outcome. Once you let go of controlling the outcome you will be amazed by the power and the passion that you ignite in people.
- 8.12am Here’s some examples: For one week, for example, set a goal that you're not going to take personal phone calls during work hours – set a time at lunch to talk to your loved ones and keep it to that. Kill the Morning Meeting - shift meetings away from the most productive time of the day: the morning. Clogging up crucial time with non-productive activities instead of utilising the most productive time of the day.Dare to ignore emails - The handling of emails is a very real time waster. Ten years ago, people would handle mail at a specific time when it finally arrived from the post. Now the first thing they do is open up the email and suddenly one hour has evaporated. Set yourself time frames daily that you will check and respond to emails, for example between 9 and 9.30am, 11 and 11.15am etc. You shouldn’t need any more than three to four intervals during the day. If something is very important you will get a call. This technique alone will provide more blocks of concentrated time in your day. Time for things that really matter! Social Media - Facebook, Twitter and discussion forums – how many of us kid ourselves by saying we’re keeping current, looking at the latest news or only spending 5 minutes updating our status or responding to a comment in social media – more than anyone this could be seen as a legitimate excuse in your industry but it is impossible to just do a 5 minute update!!! Did you know recent research in the USA has shown that Facebook has the same addiction effect on our brains as playing poker machines does! Schedule your social media time the same way you do email and use software such as Hootsuite if you must to coordinate and manage them all simultaneously. Personally I use an egg timer to keep myself focused – sure it may sound silly but I find it really useful for keeping me focused and creating a safe sense of urgency. As humans we will fill whatever time we are given so I allocate myself time and then press go – you’d be amazed how effective this is if you don’t cheat the system!
- 8.15am Thou Shalt Work Harder On Yourself Than You Do On Your Job This is probably one of the most important of all the commandments - Working harder on yourself than your job is the golden key to growth and success. Strange but true and your boss will thank you for it! Working harder on yourself may come in the form of traditional study such as degrees, courses and training, however some of the most powerful learning I have had has come from working with a coach or mentor who helps me see my strengths, the opportunities for change and provided the guidance and support to help me through the challenges. Get to know who you are, spend time in solitude and get comfortable with improving this asset of self. Over the past decade and a half or more I have literally spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on my personal development – from a degree, grad diploma, masters, several cert IV’s to hundreds of short courses, online and e-learning programs as well as having coaches and mentors along the way to guide and support me. I currently run a group called Leading ladies International which has a silver and a gold tier. Each month we get on the phone and I interview an international expert about their area of expertise so that women here in Oz can gain access to the best of the world for as little as $10 a month from the comfort of their home or office. At present I am working with an amazing billionaire as my mentor – Anne McKevitt. Learn how to handle and manage complacency. It comes after you’ve handled frustration, rejection financial pressure etc – we arrive at a comfort zone and although for a little while we feel like we’ve arrived and we feel comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with having a comfort zone except this – it doesn’t make you happy to live in your comfort zone. What it does is make you feel satisfied and makes you happy to live there for a little while and then you start looking for distractions – you start to look for what you can drink or eat or do something else because the only way you are going to be happy in life is not by what you get but by what you become. Who you become as a person is eventually what will make you happy now and in the future. So the reality is that if you’re not growing, you’re beginning to die – there is no plateau – you’re either moving up or you’re moving down. And the reality for most people is that we tend in life to get comfortable because we tend to judge ourselves by our peers. So here’s how to break out of complacency: Learn to judge yourself by your goals not your peers. By your goals and potential not by what others are doing. Let’s take a self assessment so you have a benchmark of where you are at now. GET THEM TO DO THE LEADERSHIP FOUNDATION ASSESSMENT.
- 8.17am What would you do if you had a small child and a guest came and started telling them about murder, war, rape, drugs, swearing, crime and hatred – you’d throw them out of your house, and yet many people turn on the TV, even at dinner time in many households and invite that guest in every day. Your mind is like a little child it believes everything it is exposed to, whatever you tell it it believes
- Then in your small group share your ideas, choose the best concept and design a pitch to sell it to the larger group. You have just 2 minutes as a team to do this.
- 8.20am Thou Shalt Not Speak With Forked TongueThough it may feel satisfying, popular and gratifying to hunt with the pack and spread rumour and gossip about others in your workplace, community or circle of friends, this strategy is the quickest way to destroy your chances of becoming a true feminine leader. Instead of bitching, vilifying and pointing fingers, we must learn to understand others, to see them for who and what they are and to understand that many people are operating from a place of fear. The dreaded tall poppy syndrome is alive and kicking, and it is cruel and unfair. Inequality affects everyone negatively, even those who seemingly have the upper hand. I know I have been hurt by horrible things people have said in the past – sadly mostly from other women. I have even spoken at an event and heard people talking about me in the bathroom afterwards! Tall poppy syndrome is alive and well in Australia. Don’t be an instigator or a perpetuator, encourage others to consider the impact such poisonous gossip and language and keep your negative personal opinions about others to yourself. Instead of gossip Leading ladies invest in positive social connections. Consider for a moment the saying that you will become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Last year I was a member of the Millionaire Protégé Club in the US with international members from around the world. Being with these amazing entrepreneurs ensured that I continued to step up in business and in life. The Power of Words http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&feature=share
- 8.20am Thou Shalt Not Speak With Forked TongueThough it may feel satisfying, popular and gratifying to hunt with the pack and spread rumour and gossip about others in your workplace, community or circle of friends, this strategy is the quickest way to destroy your chances of becoming a true feminine leader. Instead of bitching, vilifying and pointing fingers, we must learn to understand others, to see them for who and what they are and to understand that many people are operating from a place of fear. The dreaded tall poppy syndrome is alive and kicking, and it is cruel and unfair. Inequality affects everyone negatively, even those who seemingly have the upper hand. I know I have been hurt by horrible things people have said in the past – sadly mostly from other women. I have even spoken at an event and heard people talking about me in the bathroom afterwards! Tall poppy syndrome is alive and well in Australia. Don’t be an instigator or a perpetuator, encourage others to consider the impact such poisonous gossip and language and keep your negative personal opinions about others to yourself. Instead of gossip Leading ladies invest in positive social connections. Consider for a moment the saying that you will become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Last year I was a member of the Millionaire Protégé Club in the US with international members from around the world. Being with these amazing entrepreneurs ensured that I continued to step up in business and in life. The Power of Words http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&feature=share
- 8.20am Thou Shalt Not Speak With Forked TongueThough it may feel satisfying, popular and gratifying to hunt with the pack and spread rumour and gossip about others in your workplace, community or circle of friends, this strategy is the quickest way to destroy your chances of becoming a true feminine leader. Instead of bitching, vilifying and pointing fingers, we must learn to understand others, to see them for who and what they are and to understand that many people are operating from a place of fear. The dreaded tall poppy syndrome is alive and kicking, and it is cruel and unfair. Inequality affects everyone negatively, even those who seemingly have the upper hand. I know I have been hurt by horrible things people have said in the past – sadly mostly from other women. I have even spoken at an event and heard people talking about me in the bathroom afterwards! Tall poppy syndrome is alive and well in Australia. Don’t be an instigator or a perpetuator, encourage others to consider the impact such poisonous gossip and language and keep your negative personal opinions about others to yourself. Instead of gossip Leading ladies invest in positive social connections. Consider for a moment the saying that you will become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Last year I was a member of the Millionaire Protégé Club in the US with international members from around the world. Being with these amazing entrepreneurs ensured that I continued to step up in business and in life. The Power of Words http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&feature=share
- It’s a sad fact that Depression occurs in 20% of all people over the course of a lifetime. The people who manage to avoid depression and can handle change, the pace of life and come out the other side of a bad patch tend to be those who have learnt to say no and to maintain their boundaries.
- Thou Shalt Not Shy Away From Problems Problems can be gifts. They can bring us possibilities we hadn’t yet thought of. Problems can help us grow and can lead to bigger and better things. Start seeing every problem as an opportunity to create something better and you will learn to tackle them head on. A person yelling at you might feel like a problem but to a feminine leader it provides an opportunity for greater insight into how that person is thinking and whether they have any blind spots themselves. Hearing them out could build understanding, promote communication and allow the relationship to mature to a deeper level. It’s a sad fact that Depression occurs in 20% of all people over the course of a lifetime. The people who manage to avoid depression and can handle change, the pace of life and come out the other side of a bad patch with new growth and experience tend to be those with high EQ or Emotional Intelligence. The frames of our minds create, define and confine what we perceive to be possible. Every problem, every dilemma, every dead end we find ourselves facing in life and at work, only appears insolvable inside a particular frame or point of view. Change the paradigm, enlarge the box, create another frame and ask different questions and the problems vanish and new opportunities appear. Take for example a study done about a decade ago with children at a school. (draw fence and boundaries and where the children played). Instead of thinking the same way we have always thought take instead an Appreciative Inquiry approach – this is a great basis for working together in your challenge teams – how? By focusing on what is working and what you DO want not what is NOT working and you don’t want. Too often in business and especially I find in government with all the government agencies I work with – the focus on what people don’t want and what is not working. Save The Children Program in Mali - 1996 US Aid Project - Jerry Sternin & his team - Positive Deviance Initiatives A traditional Gap analysis approach would ask: “What are the causes of the high rate of morbidity among these children?” Instead the appreciative inquiry approach to creative problem solving asks “Bring us your ten healthiest children. What enables them to thrive and grow and be healthy?” Beginning to adopt the appreciative inquiry framework may require a change in mindset. It requires you to stop talking about people and problems, and instead start thinking about possibilities and solutions. This is an important point – you must develop a mindset that is as strong as a fortress – your focus should only be on possibilities and results rather than endless, pointless meetings. Instead of focus on gossip, people and their challenges with other people you must focus on creating results, on your vision and dreams, on the plan and what the opportunities are in every situation. This follows the principle of appreciative inquiry. Instead of focusing on excuses, you roll up your sleeves and you get things done. Discovery - Appreciate “the best of what is” Review your experience of what has worked and the best or peak experiences you’ve had. Dream - Imagining “what could be” Our images of the future guide and inspire present-day actions and achievements. The more positive and hopeful the image of the future, the more positive the present-day action. Design - Determine “what should be” Design statements created: Accountabilities, Business goals, Communications, Customer service, Leadership, People development, Roles & responsibilities, Work life balance. Destiny - Create “what will be” Recommendations to executive team for priority actions. Priority actions resourced through business planning cycle. This is what we will use as a basic framework for our planning today.
- 8.24am Thou Shalt Speak UpIt is not enough to simply want to be a feminine leader and to idealise it in your own mind. You have to verbalise it and share your beliefs, goals and ideas with others. Chances are many of your colleagues and friends share the same hopes and dreams and were afraid to speak their truth. By verbalizing and speaking up about principles and actions you believe in you are not claiming to be a leader through title, power or position, you become a leader through your ‘being’ and sharing. “People don’t buy what you do. They buy ‘why’ you do it.” Simon Sinek. Share your why, it is a privilege and obligation of a leader, to start conversations. Smart and talented women rarely realize that one of the toughest hurdles they'll have to overcome to be successful lies within.Research by psychologists shows that compared with men, women judge our abilities not only more harshly but we tend to focus more on our weaknesses and what we believe we can’t do. Time when I was 26 in a board meeting. Speaking up for what you believe in, being creative and questioning the status quo is never easy. Standing up for yourself and for others can also be difficult and unpopular. But it is a leader’s responsibility to do just that. A leader takes care in their decisions, reasons and choices. They ask themselves does no one suffer from the choices I make and actions I take? Do those I serve and who follow grow as people for working with me? Do they become freer, more autonomous and more likely to step into leadership roles themselves? Is there a better way to do what we have been doing and what will I need to let go of to allow it? Having courage and standing up will open up for you a world of empowerment that will serve you for your entire career and life. (tEAch Difficult conversations process)
- 8.24am Thou Shalt Speak UpIt is not enough to simply want to be a feminine leader and to idealise it in your own mind. You have to verbalise it and share your beliefs, goals and ideas with others. Chances are many of your colleagues and friends share the same hopes and dreams and were afraid to speak their truth. By verbalizing and speaking up about principles and actions you believe in you are not claiming to be a leader through title, power or position, you become a leader through your ‘being’ and sharing. “People don’t buy what you do. They buy ‘why’ you do it.” Simon Sinek. Share your why, it is a privilege and obligation of a leader, to start conversations. Smart and talented women rarely realize that one of the toughest hurdles they'll have to overcome to be successful lies within.Research by psychologists shows that compared with men, women judge our abilities not only more harshly but we tend to focus more on our weaknesses and what we believe we can’t do. Time when I was 26 in a board meeting. Speaking up for what you believe in, being creative and questioning the status quo is never easy. Standing up for yourself and for others can also be difficult and unpopular. But it is a leader’s responsibility to do just that. A leader takes care in their decisions, reasons and choices. They ask themselves does no one suffer from the choices I make and actions I take? Do those I serve and who follow grow as people for working with me? Do they become freer, more autonomous and more likely to step into leadership roles themselves? Is there a better way to do what we have been doing and what will I need to let go of to allow it? Having courage and standing up will open up for you a world of empowerment that will serve you for your entire career and life. (tEAch Difficult conversations process)
- 8.45am Outline of the agenda for the day, housekeeping and ground rules 8.55am Group introductions and participant outcomes for the day
- 8.45am Outline of the agenda for the day, housekeeping and ground rules 8.55am Group introductions and participant outcomes for the day
- Women at a party will give their man a high sign from across the room – later she will seethe at him – why didn’t you come over before? He’ll say what? When I signalled you! Oh I just thought you were saying hi! You idiot I want to leave! Women are better at reading signals than men Gestures, eye patterns, breathing, signals, subtle changes in voice,
- 1.35pm Building Rapport and Engaging People The rapport phase is the opening of any successful facilitation or presentation. Quality interactions are only achieved when are truly engaging and building rapport with your audience. Building rapport and creating a climate of trust and understanding allows you to prepare the audience for the delivery of your content. Rapport is vital in all forms of communication and essential for conducting effective presentations and facilitating successful workshops, sessions, group work. In the role of facilitator, your task is to persuade and influence so the audience prefers your solution or idea over what they may have been doing in the past. John Grinder and Richard Bandler researched how expert communicators were able to build rapport. They found that people like people who are like themselves. Rapport is established by pacing. Pacing is the process of matching and mirroring the verbal, para-verbal and body language of the other person to create likeness and similarities which creates rapport. Being in rapport means being alike both verbally and non verbally. Professor Albert Mehrabian has pioneered the understanding of communications since the 1960s – today he spends his time researching, writing, and consulting as Professor of Psychology at UCLA. His work featured strongly in establishing early understanding of body language and non-verbal communications. His research provided the basis for the widely quoted and often much over-simplified statistic for the effectiveness of spoken communications. Here is a more precise (and necessarily detailed) representation of Mehrabian's findings than is typically cited or applied: 7% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken. 38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said). 55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression (and body language). The main thing to remember is that the formula applies to communications of feelings and attitudes not just any communication. One of the best ways to build rapport if you don’t know the attendees is to use universals. Universals are statements that are ‘true’ for all members in the audience, general statements that are universally accepted. Here you are setting the scene or the big picture. For example: We live in a world that….. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where…..? Have you noticed how ……..is happening more often today?
- 11.50am VISUAL BODY LANGUAGE Show teenage Katy Perry Clip Make eye contact 1.50pm Neutral Body Stance Practical There are no right or wrong stances for presenting or pitching. However it is important to remember that your body is a large communication vessel for sending messages to your audience and for switching your own brain on. In order to make sure the audience trusts you you need to build resonance!! AND you want your pitch to be meaningful and profitable. Imagine therefore the audience is in pain and your role in pitching is to teach them something but leave a void that they will need and want to pay for to have Enigma fix.
- 8.28am Thou Shalt Use the power of association They say you will become the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. Understanding the power of association and paying close attention to who you associate with is critical to your success. Who you associate with plays a major role in what you are willing to accept of yourself, your abilities and your skills. The people around you impact on your values so be very careful about who influences you and your mind. Do your five closest people hold you down, are they negative, bitch and gossip about other people and whine? 8.30am Or do the five people you spend the most time and energy with uplift, embrace and support you? Do they make you think bigger, challenge you and love you for who you are? Do they make you stretch and be real? Now think about the five people you spend most of your time with for a moment – is that who you want to become? If not it may be time to expand your circle of friends.
- Thou Shalt Use the power of association They say you will become the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. Understanding the power of association and paying close attention to who you associate with is critical to your success. Who you associate with plays a major role in what you are willing to accept of yourself, your abilities and your skills. The people around you impact on your values so be very careful about who influences you and your mind. Do your five closest people hold you down, are they negative, bitch and gossip about other people and whine?
- What would you do if you had a small child and a guest came and started telling them about murder, war, rape, drugs, swearing, crime and hatred – you’d throw them out of your house, and yet many people turn on the TV, even at dinner time in many households and invite that guest in every day. Your mind is like a little child it believes everything it is exposed to, whatever you tell it it believes
- "The greatest trouble with most of us is that our demands upon ourselves are so feeble, the call upon the great within us so weak and intermittent, that it makes no impression upon the creative energies; it lacks the force that transmutes desires into realities." Orison Swett Marden Have you ever read the stories of the amazing feats of strength performed by people in a crisis? The man that single-handedly lifts up a car so a person can be pulled to safety, for example? How can people do those things? Our quote suggests that it's the wrong question. Perhaps we should ask - why can't people do these things all the time? After all, if we can do them in a crisis, why not any time we need to? These special cases suggest that we have a reservoir of power within us that we rarely ever tap. Not just physical power, but the power of resolve and determination. With this power, wouldn't we be able to do amazing things in our lives, to achieve amazing goals? Why wouldn't we use it? ------------------------------------------------- For the step-by-step keys to your power, get this inexpensive program. It's the ONLY program like this that actually includes personal help from the author (that's me) if you need it. Get the info here: http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=AZLBB&m=JEiJpr3C11ZPM1&b=AwBQKza.w4q_QvQziRIIZw ------------------------------------------------ Well, some people do use it. We call them "successful" and we see them as special or lucky. But they're special only in that they chose to use that power that Marden calls "the great within us" without waiting for a car wreck. Feeble demands make no impression upon the creative energies, so we never engage them and we don't even know they're there. But they are there. I challenge you to raise the level of achievement that you expect from yourself, to place a much higher demand upon your creative energies. It make take some effort to wake them up if they haven't been used for a while, but they're waiting for you. Employ the force that transmutes your desires into realities. Be prepared to sweat. No more excuses!
- How many of you needed to change your appearance back instantly? What resources did you use?
- How many of you needed to change your appearance back instantly? What resources did you use?
- IF you focus on what you can give you will never have to worry about what you will receive because you will always get more back. In order to become a leading lady you must learn to serve first. The secret to living is giving – find something that you love doing so much that it is not a task and then focus on how you can change lives through doing what you love. Also as women we often mix up business with our emotions – let me challenge you by sharing something my mentor Anne says: “You are NOT in business to change the world, you are in business to make money. The money allows you to help change the world. Although as they say ‘business is business’ there is no need to be a professional who only engages with head and not with heart. Caring for persons, your team, competitors and customers is the rock upon which a good business is built. If a better society or business is to be built, one that is more just and more loving, one that provides greater creative opportunity for its people, then the most open course is to raise both the capacity to serve and the capacity and will to care about others. As a feminine leader you have a unique opportunity to show that a blend of head and heart can manifest amazing results, not to mention the loyalty, happiness and commitment of people. Practice optimism, compassion and empathy and be a servant leader. Ask yourself do those I spend time with become wiser, more free and more joyous from being with me? The more people you serve and help the more money you will make. Now this was true for me in my own life particularly around property investment you see I loved investing in property, searching and finding the right place, making the offer and the renovating and improving the offer, but then the challenge for me was putting the tenants in. Because I had never rented in my life, my parents owned their own house and I owned mine, I wasn’t familiar with the rental market. So I had all these hang ups and stereotypes playing in my mind about the rental market, the types of people who rent, the media hype about the damages they do to your property and the issues around never being able to get rid of a bad tenant. So this was a real challenge for me. It wasn’t until I was on my second or third house that the penny really dropped. At the interviews for a tenant there were several families in dire straights, not because they weren’t good people but because circumstances such as illness in the family, retrenchment from their jobs etc had put them in the awkward position of being desperately in need of a place to live. Not only were they happy to pay the rent just to be given a go they were ecstatic, weeping and overjoyed at finally having a place for their family to go so they wouldn’t have to continue moving from motel to motel. I was shocked. All the time I was worried these people would see me as a greedy capitalist when they were actually looking to me as their helper, a person who after many had rejected them, was willing to give them a go. What’s more they promised and did look after my property as if it was their own because of the deep gratitude they had. It was a total shift for me – once I shifted in my mind from it being about the money to it being about being of service then everything shifted and began to move fast. People began approaching me and asking if I would find a house to buy for them to rent, tenants began referring friends and family and the circle of my new extended family grew. No longer was I a landlord, I was a friend, a bearer of hope – and the financial success followed growing my net worth to over a million dollars by the time I was 34 years old. Once I changed my thinking processes and beliefs about my worth then things changed. It’s not working harder that makes a difference it is what’s going on in your head. And for me it was realising that what was important was not what I could get but what I could give. That way money no longer runs you, you run your money. The best way I have found this is: -Give away 10% of your money – tithe to charity, to those who need it (it says to your brain there is more than enough and it gives you joy to be a contributor) At Christmas time perhaps you can donate food and toys to families in need. Now I know what you are probably thinking – I haven’t got enough money to live comfortably let alone give it away. But what do you think is easier – giving a dollar away when you own $10 or giving away $100,000 when you own a million? You’ve got to work up to it. The bigger the amount, the more difficult it is unless you establish the pattern now. -Take 10% and use it to reduce and pay off your debts, - mastercard, visa, personal loans, loans to friends, whoever you owe money to. -Take another 10% and use it to invest or save it until you have enough to invest. We live in a capitalistic society, and yet few people do it – it was meant to give us choices and yet because most people are unhappy because they haven’t attained it. -The final and remaining 70% is what you use to live on. The problem is people say to me “But I don’t have enough money to do all of this” – my answer to them and to you is you don’t have enough money not to! That’s the reality – handle financial pressure and things will change. Sure money won’t fix everything but it will allow you to arrive at your problems in style and handle them from another level.
- IF you focus on what you can give you will never have to worry about what you will receive because you will always get more back. In order to become a leading lady you must learn to serve first. The secret to living is giving – find something that you love doing so much that it is not a task and then focus on how you can change lives through doing what you love. Also as women we often mix up business with our emotions – let me challenge you by sharing something my mentor Anne says: “You are NOT in business to change the world, you are in business to make money. The money allows you to help change the world. Although as they say ‘business is business’ there is no need to be a professional who only engages with head and not with heart. Caring for persons, your team, competitors and customers is the rock upon which a good business is built. If a better society or business is to be built, one that is more just and more loving, one that provides greater creative opportunity for its people, then the most open course is to raise both the capacity to serve and the capacity and will to care about others. As a feminine leader you have a unique opportunity to show that a blend of head and heart can manifest amazing results, not to mention the loyalty, happiness and commitment of people. Practice optimism, compassion and empathy and be a servant leader. Ask yourself do those I spend time with become wiser, more free and more joyous from being with me? The more people you serve and help the more money you will make. Now this was true for me in my own life particularly around property investment you see I loved investing in property, searching and finding the right place, making the offer and the renovating and improving the offer, but then the challenge for me was putting the tenants in. Because I had never rented in my life, my parents owned their own house and I owned mine, I wasn’t familiar with the rental market. So I had all these hang ups and stereotypes playing in my mind about the rental market, the types of people who rent, the media hype about the damages they do to your property and the issues around never being able to get rid of a bad tenant. So this was a real challenge for me. It wasn’t until I was on my second or third house that the penny really dropped. At the interviews for a tenant there were several families in dire straights, not because they weren’t good people but because circumstances such as illness in the family, retrenchment from their jobs etc had put them in the awkward position of being desperately in need of a place to live. Not only were they happy to pay the rent just to be given a go they were ecstatic, weeping and overjoyed at finally having a place for their family to go so they wouldn’t have to continue moving from motel to motel. I was shocked. All the time I was worried these people would see me as a greedy capitalist when they were actually looking to me as their helper, a person who after many had rejected them, was willing to give them a go. What’s more they promised and did look after my property as if it was their own because of the deep gratitude they had. It was a total shift for me – once I shifted in my mind from it being about the money to it being about being of service then everything shifted and began to move fast. People began approaching me and asking if I would find a house to buy for them to rent, tenants began referring friends and family and the circle of my new extended family grew. No longer was I a landlord, I was a friend, a bearer of hope – and the financial success followed growing my net worth to over a million dollars by the time I was 34 years old. Once I changed my thinking processes and beliefs about my worth then things changed. It’s not working harder that makes a difference it is what’s going on in your head. And for me it was realising that what was important was not what I could get but what I could give. That way money no longer runs you, you run your money. The best way I have found this is: -Give away 10% of your money – tithe to charity, to those who need it (it says to your brain there is more than enough and it gives you joy to be a contributor) At Christmas time perhaps you can donate food and toys to families in need. Now I know what you are probably thinking – I haven’t got enough money to live comfortably let alone give it away. But what do you think is easier – giving a dollar away when you own $10 or giving away $100,000 when you own a million? You’ve got to work up to it. The bigger the amount, the more difficult it is unless you establish the pattern now. -Take 10% and use it to reduce and pay off your debts, - mastercard, visa, personal loans, loans to friends, whoever you owe money to. -Take another 10% and use it to invest or save it until you have enough to invest. We live in a capitalistic society, and yet few people do it – it was meant to give us choices and yet because most people are unhappy because they haven’t attained it. -The final and remaining 70% is what you use to live on. The problem is people say to me “But I don’t have enough money to do all of this” – my answer to them and to you is you don’t have enough money not to! That’s the reality – handle financial pressure and things will change. Sure money won’t fix everything but it will allow you to arrive at your problems in style and handle them from another level.
- 10.00am desired outcomes of the day
- Share a story about a client or my own story Appreciative inquiry – build on what works – SWOT – women go straight to the Weaknesses