Whenever conflicts arise, persons should do self-analysis. Key techniques in Conflict Management and Managing Emotions are disclosed.

1. Gillian Martin
Trainer, Speaker & Social Entrepreneur
Captivating Solutions Consultancy
captivatingsolutions@gmail.com

2. After a heated debate with his supervisor, John
rushes to the water cooler to keep his cool
(and his sanity)

3. “Why is Mary so stiff-necked?Why is she
always breathing down my neck?” he mutters
to himself

4. Mary, John’s supervisor is equally annoyed and
wonders to herself: “Why is John so carefree
and disorganized?”

5. Both John and Mary need to take a look at the
man in the mirror

6. It is important to do a self-analysis whenever
conflicts arise and ask the very vital question:
“Am I the problem?”

7. In her capacity of supervisor, Mary needs to
ensure that she displays a high level of
emotional intelligence by managing her
emotions as well as that of her the person she
leads

8. The conflict should end with both parties being
calm

9. The relationship between the parties can
improve if a collaborative approach is applied
when handling the conflict

10. This approach allows both parties to express
their needs and find solutions that will satisfy
both sides

11. Mary should also help John to improve in his
weak areas by providing recommendations for
improvement and coaching

12. Mary also needs to recognize John’s potential
and utilize his strengths

13. On the other hand, John needs to adopt Peter
Drucker’s philosophy: “The best way to
predict the future is to create it”

14. If John wants Mary to stop “breathing down his
neck”, he needs to ensure that he takes pride
in his work and presents his work in such a
way that he wins her confidence and respect

15. This should prompt Mary to give him a greater
level of empowerment

16. Both John and Mary should observe each
other’s preferences and personality styles

17. The relationship will improve when each party
provides what the other party needs

18. In accordance with the Myers-BriggsType
Indicator which identifies different
personality types, John has the personality of
a Perceiver and Mary is a Judger

19. Perceivers tend to have a flexible work style
while Judgers are organized

20. Ultimately, the success of the relationship is
heavily dependent on compromise and mutual
respect

21. The next time the reflection of your
relationship is about to be smeared by
conflict, wouldn’t it be good to first take a
look at the man in the mirror and ask the
question: “Am I the problem?”

22. All honour to the Lord Jesus Christ who arms
us with the skills to manage conflicts

23.  Conflict Management: “The RealWinner”
 Anger Management: “Serenity at Last”
 Team Building: “Harmony atWork”
 Leadership: “TheAnchor”
 Creating a Healthy Environment:
“Close for Comfort”
 ManagingYour Emotions: “Cool, Calm,
Collected… and Happy!”