The “Course Topics” series from Manage Train Learn and Slide Topics is a collection of over 4000 slides that will help you master a wide range of management and personal development skills. The 202 PowerPoints in this series offer you a complete and in-depth study of each topic. This presentation is on "Asking Questions".

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Asking Questions
Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
COUNSELLING SKILLS
Asking Questions

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Asking Questions
Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
The Course Topics series from Manage Train Learn is a large collection of topics that will help you as a learner
to quickly and easily master a range of skills in your everyday working life and life outside work. If you are a
trainer, they are perfect for adding to your classroom courses and online learning plans.
COURSE TOPICS FROM MTL
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Topics, these slides are fully editable and
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Copyright Manage Train Learn 2020
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Asking Questions
Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
ARE YOU READY?
OK, LET’S START!

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Asking Questions
Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
INTRODUCTION
The well-judged question is always used for a purpose in a
counselling session. It seeks information about the past; it is
the route to finding out what another person thinks and
feels here and now; it gives us clues as to what another
person really means; and it opens up possibilities for them
to become more resourceful in the way they live and work
in the future.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
ASKING QUESTIONS
We should put as much thought into asking a question as
we would expect others to put into giving their answers.
This also means putting thought into whether we need to
ask a question in the first place.
Underlying any question is your genuine interest in the
answer. You cannot feign interest; you can, however, master
the kind of question that will get others to talk.
"When you are dealing with another person, your success
rate in getting them to talk is directly related to whether you
are liked as a person. This is directly related to your ability to
ask questions about their number one subject - themselves.
There is no such thing as a natural salesperson, negotiator,
socialiser or counsellor. In almost every case, you will find
that these are people who have learned the techniques of
asking questions." (Allan Pease)

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
QUESTIONS FOR INFORMATION
The journey through a person's problems is a bit like
navigating your way through a jungle. At first the jungle is
impenetrable. We may not even know where to begin. Bit
by bit we gather information which sets us on a useful path.
Eventually we can say that we have charted the territory.
The route through a person's problems is discovered by
asking questions for information. These provide us with
facts about incidents and events; statistics, records and
evidence about what people heard and saw; views and
opinions; feelings.
There are three main information-generating questions.
These are the closed question, the open question and the
summarising question.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
OPEN QUESTIONS
Open questions are those that cannot be answered by a
single word (Yes, No, maybe, red, tomorrow, 15...)
In counselling, there are five main sub-species of open
question:
1. Elaboration: "Would you like to elaborate...?"
2. Specific: "What exactly do you mean...?
3. Personal Responsibility: "What could you have done...?"
4. Could: "Could you tell me about it...?"
5. Feelings: "How did you feel...?"
Open questions are an invitation to others to tell us where
they want to go.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
CLOSED QUESTIONS
Closed questions are like multiple-choice questions in that
they only require a one or two-word reply. They imply:
"which is the right answer to my question?", eg "Were you
there?"; "Are you happy to move on?"; "Do you want to
stop?“
Closed questions are valuable for getting others to disclose
specific facts about themselves that you want to explore,
but don't result in anything extra. They are also important
for confirming exact information. The following starter
words signify closed questions: "are...?"; "do...?"; "who...?";
"when...?"; "which...?";"where...?“
Continuous closed questions result in dull conversations
followed by awkward silences. People who are asked a
series of closed questions often feel as if they are being
interrogated.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
SUMMARISING QUESTIONS
There are two ways to gather information by summarising:
the summarising statement and the paraphrasing question.
1. Summarising Statements try to boil information down
to make sense of what's been said. They can be
interjected into a counselling session at any point when
you want to draw breath and at the end of each of the
main stages.
2. "Have I Got This Right? You said you were confused
about everything. Your partner wants you to have the
baby. You're not sure about that. Your career means a
lot to you. At the same time you want to have children
but not just yet."
3. Paraphrasing Questions are your interpretation of what
you think the client means, eg "So, you think that by
putting your notice in, the company will beg you to
stay?"

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSES
When you respond to the answers a person gives you in a
counselling session, it is vital to avoid responses that place
an immediate barrier to further communication.
avoid exclamations of surprise, intolerance or disgust. If you
have these feelings, don't show them.
1. avoid expressions of over-concern, eg "Oh, I am sorry"
2. avoid moralistic judgments, criticism or impatience,
since this elevates you to the parental role of
reprimanding the wayward child
3. avoid becoming defensive and getting into arguments
4. avoid making false promises, flattery or undue praise
5. avoid personal references to your own experience,
since, while this may be similar to theirs, it only draws
attention away from them
6. avoid burdening them with your own problems
7. avoid ridicule, condescension or belittling them.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
RESPONDING
One of the regular themes or leit-motifs of counselling is the
cycle of : wait; question; listen; respond; wait.
The questions, or comments, we make in responding should
grow out of the listening stage. They may solicit further
information or meaning as well as contribute to a better
understanding between manager and employee. They may
confront the person with what they've just said and make
them think again. They may also be the counsellor's attempt
at suggesting what's going on in the person's mind.
The four main types of response in counselling are:
1. the reflect-back question
2. the empathic response
3. the tentative hunch
4. the options testing question.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
REFLECTING BACK
The reflect-back question is also known as the minimal
prompt or bridging. The technique is very simple. We pick
the key word or last word in what the employee has just
said and put it back to them. This signifies we need to know
more...
Them: "I couldn't do it..."
You: "You couldn't?"
Them: "No, it was too risky."
You: "Risky?"
Them: "Yes, it would have meant losing everything..."
You: "Everything?“
You can use some simple body language techniques when
asking a reflect-back question. You lean forward with your
palms open, stretch the last letters of the word and then
lean back and stop talking, eg "Riskyyy...?"

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
THE EMPATHIC RESPONSE
In counselling, the empathic response is a way of reflecting
back what you understand the other person to be feeling.
This type of response needs to be crafted with care:
interpreting something important as trivial for example
might result in you losing all credibility with the employee.
Notice the different ways we often respond to a small child
who has fallen and grazed his knee and is crying.
1. "It doesn't look that bad."
2. "Stop crying! You're putting most of this on."
3. "I bet that feels sore, doesn't it?“
Only 3 is the truly empathic response. It is the one response
that is likely to lead to the child stopping crying.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
THE TENTATIVE HUNCH
In counselling, the tentative hunch is a response in which
you put a suggestion to the other person describing what
you think he or she may be feeling or meaning.
The tentative hunch uses three steps:
1. tell the person what you saw him do and heard him say
2. tell him the meaning you've tentatively given to his
actions
3. ask if you're right.
For example: "You just said you liked your job and then you
frowned. Would I be right in assuming there are good points
and bad in what you're planning?“
An alternative if you have drawn no conclusions is to state
what you see and ask them to confirm it. "When I
mentioned John's name just now, a little smile came over
your face. I'd be interested to know what you're thinking."

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
TESTING OPTIONS
In counselling, the options testing question is similar to the
tentative hunch in putting a suggestion to the employee
about what they may be feeling or thinking. In this version,
the suggestion is phrased as an option which you put to the
employee to test whether they agree with it or not.
For example: "You seem to be calm about this, but I wonder
whether you might not be feeling a little angry as well?“
Or:
"Don't you think you might be anxious as well as excited
about the new job?“
It is important to put the options-testing question in a
tentative way that allows the other person to confirm it or
not. You can do this by using words like "perhaps", "I
wonder..." and "It seems to me that...".

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
GETTING AT MEANINGS
One of the aims of counselling is to raise people's awareness
of what things mean to them. Confused feelings, opposing
pulls, lack of understanding, difficult decisions,
insurmountable problems: all of these can be clarified
through posing the right questions and getting people to
talk things through.
Questions for meaning fall into two categories:
1. those that result in conscious, precise, analytical
thinking. This is sometimes called "uptime" or dig-
deeper questioning. These are similar to probing
questions.
2. those that result in subconscious, big picture, whole
thinking. This is sometimes called "downtime" or stand-
back questioning. These help people take a broader
view of things.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
UPTIME AND DOWNTIME
Both uptime and downtime thinking are used in counselling
to help clients work out the meaning of experiences,
thoughts and feelings. They approach meaning from two
opposite directions.
1. Uptime Thinking attempts to find meaning in what
people say and in their choice of words. It picks up on
what people say, as in a reflect-back question, and
probes for further meaning. The three most-used
uptime questions relate to deleted words, generalized
words and distorted words.
2. Downtime Thinking takes the opposite route to uptime
thinking. Whereas uptime thinking probes deeper,
downtime thinking takes a step back and invites people
to take a wider-angle look at what they've said. Four of
the most-used downtime questions are: new angles,
wider angles, counter-evidence and metaphor.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
DELETIONS
A "deletion" is a word used in conversation which has
deleted other words that would fully explain it.
There are four main types of deletions that we slip in to
everyday language. These are: unspecified nouns,
unspecified verbs, unexplained comparisons and
unsubstantiated judgments.
If someone were to say in a counselling session, "It's much
more obvious what she wants: money. She throws money
around like water." you could use the following questions to
find out what is meant:
"Money? How much money?" (unspecified noun)
"How do you mean "throws it around"...?" (unspecified
verb)
"Why is it obvious?" (unsubstantiated judgment)
"More obvious than what?" (unexplained comparison).

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
GENERALIZATIONS
Generalizations are words used in everyday speech which
suggest that one-off experiences have universal application.
There are four main types of generalizations. These are:
nominalizations (general nouns); can’t; must's; and universal
comments.
If, in the course of counselling, someone were to say: "I've
lost my self-esteem. I can't seem to think highly of myself. It
must be the blows I've had. That's what working here does
to you.", we might ask:
"What exactly do you mean by "self-esteem"? "
(nominalization)
"Why can't you bring yourself to think highly of yourself?"
(can't)
"Why must it have been the blows...?" (musts)
"Does it happen to everyone then?" (universal comments).

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
DISTORTIONS
Distortions are statements we make linking different ideas
which we assume are connected, eg "It's bound to end in
tears". Uptime thinking can usefully explore such distortions
to find out why the speaker makes their assumptions.
There are four main types of distortions: assumed links;
cause and effect; presuppositions; and mind-reading.
If someone were to say in a counselling session, "I know
you'll think me stupid but this is just another talking session.
It'll lead nowhere. They bore me.", you could use the
following questions to find out what they meant:
"Why should I think you're stupid?" (mind-reading)
"So have you had a similar session before?" (presupposition)
"If you're bored, why is that due to the interview?" (cause
and effect)

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
NEW ANGLES
New angles means offering people who are stuck in the way
they see things alternative ways of thinking. There are
various techniques including positive re-framing; positive
outcomes; second person quote; long time frame and
different goal.
If, in counselling, somebody said "I feel really low for missing
that promotion" we could respond as follows:
"This means you have a valuable experience under your
belt" (positive re-frame)
"Perhaps you're meant for better things" (different goal)
"I knew someone who missed a promotion and landed a
better job a short while later" (2nd person quote)
"I'm sure in a few years' time you'll see how this fits in"
(long-time frame)

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
WIDER ANGLES
Wider-angled questions are questions put from a wider-
angled lens than the one the employee is currently looking
through. A counsellor can take an objective view when a
client sometimes can’t.
Five types of wider-angled question are: the generalized
question, the values question, the different goal, the further
goals and the big picture.
If, in counselling, someone said "I feel really low for missing
that promotion", we might ask:
"That must mean you care very much about getting on."
(values question)
"How are things otherwise?" (generalized question)
"Is this the right move for you?" (different goal)
"What can you learn from this experience?" (further goal)
"What are your overall career plans?" (big picture)

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
COUNTER-EVIDENCE
Counter-evidence questions are useful in re-balancing
excessively gloomy or overly optimistic views of things.
Their effect is to suggest a new way of seeing a situation.
If in counselling someone said, "I feel really low for missing
that promotion" a counter-evidence question might be:
"Can you recall a time when you thought things were pretty
bleak and they never turned out anywhere near as bad?“
When people think of other experiences and compare them
to the present one, they get a more rounded picture of
what things mean. Counter-evidence questions are
examples of downtime thinking.

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
THE METAPHOR
The metaphor is a useful device to get someone to take a
wider view of things and change their thinking.
If in counselling someone said,
"I just sort of sank at university. It just happens and now I
feel I can't get out of it. Once I'm out of it I can see what it
was all about but not while I'm in it."
you might suggest a metaphor such as:
"It sort of feels like the weight of the world on your
shoulders?“
Metaphors are valuable ways to explore experiences which
we don't fully understand.
"The metaphor is perhaps one of man's most fruitful
potentialities. Its efficacy verges on magic and it seems a
tool for creation which God forgot inside one of His
creatures when He made him." (Jose Ortega y Gasset)

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
THAT’S
IT!
WELL DONE!

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Counselling Skills
MTL Course Topics
COUNSELLING SKILLS
Asking Questions