The “Course Topics” series from Manage Train Learn and Slide Topics is a collection of over 4000 slides that will help you master a wide range of management and personal development skills. The 202 PowerPoints in this series offer you a complete and in-depth study of each topic. This presentation is on "The “Course Topics” series from Manage Train Learn and Slide Topics is a collection of over 4000 slides that will help you master a wide range of management and personal development skills. The 202 PowerPoints in this series offer you a complete and in-depth study of each topic. This presentation is on "The “Course Topics” series from Manage Train Learn and Slide Topics is a collection of over 4000 slides that will help you master a wide range of management and personal development skills. The 202 PowerPoints in this series offer you a complete and in-depth study of each topic. This presentation is on "The “Course Topics” series from Manage Train Learn and Slide Topics is a collection of over 4000 slides that will help you master a wide range of management and personal development skills. The 202 PowerPoints in this series offer you a complete and in-depth study of each topic. This presentation is on "Interpersonal Skills".

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
COMMUNICATIONS
Interpersonal Skills

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
The Course Topics series from Manage Train Learn is a large collection of topics that will help you as a learner
to quickly and easily master a range of skills in your everyday working life and life outside work. If you are a
trainer, they are perfect for adding to your classroom courses and online learning plans.
COURSE TOPICS FROM MTL
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either by attribution to Manage Train Learn or with the express written permission of Manage Train Learn.
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Topics, these slides are fully editable and
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Copyright Manage Train Learn 2020
onwards.
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Commons license.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
ARE YOU READY?
OK, LET’S START!

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
INTRODUCTION
There are few ways to judge how successful
communications are in any organisation. Ultimately, the
success of the organisation itself is a result of the success of
its communications. At a more immediate level, we need to
look at the quality of the organisation's interpersonal
relationships to judge how good the communicating is.
When it is poor, because people do not speak, or answer, or
listen, or respond, the whole group suffers. There is tension
and conflict. The work doesn't get done. When relationships
are good, because people learn and practise the art of
interpersonal relationships, understanding is high. People
get on. The task is done. Communications work.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
The quality of our relationships depends on how well we
apply the skills of interpersonal communication. When we
fail to use these skills properly, we set up a series of
communications roadblocks: wrong perceptions of others;
disliking; emotional distancing.
In a successful interpersonal exchange there are five skills
present. These are: active listening; genuine questions;
noticing what the other person says and does; interpreting
with an open mind; and responding appropriately.
The interpersonal exchange is like a dance between two
people. First, one leads and the other follows. Then the
roles are reversed and the other person leads while the
partner follows. The pair are distinct, yet together;
themselves but one, moving as a unit but still their own two
selves.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
LISTENING
There are two ways to listen effectively.
The first way is to adopt the sub-skills and techniques of
active listening. These include: stopping what you're doing
and giving full attention to the other person; maintaining
steady eye contact; acknowledging that you're listening with
head nods and "mms"; and checking back your
understanding.
The second way is to be genuinely interested in the other
person. This means putting the other person's needs at that
moment ahead of our own and overcoming the barriers that
imply "I'm better than you" or "I'm judging you" or "I won't
change" and replacing them with "I'm interested in you" and
"I really want to know what you think".
"Listening is the fundamental way we do business." (The
Sperry Corporation)

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
GERRY AND ALI
Gerry is explaining to Ali why he puts so much faith in
listening as a problem-solving tool.
"When I don't know the answer to a problem, listening is
the only thing you can do. I've found that if you can tolerate
the silence long enough, others will always crack first and
say something.
"When I listen closely, without thinking ahead to my next
question, I find the right questions pop up naturally when
they stop talking. Since many of us talk to impress others,
good listeners have to get over the hurdle of wanting to
show off.
"The best thing about listening is that if you really listen
carefully, others will present you with the answers in what
they say. If you've not been listening, you won't find them. If
you have, they're the solutions to the problem."

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
QUESTIONS
Two categories of questions which are important for
interpersonal relationships are the genuine question and
the non-genuine question.
1. Non-genuine Questions have hidden meanings, often
criticism, sarcasm, blame, put-down or punishment. We
use them when we want to disguise our real intention
behind what looks like an interest in others. The result is
a form of pretence game-playing with others. Not only
do they hide our real intentions but they confuse the
other person. Non-genuine questions are therefore
harmful to good communications.
2. Genuine Questions, on the other hand, convey a real
interest in others. Genuine questions are those which
admit to others that we don't know something and
imply that we are prepared to take a risk of learning
something new. They are unambiguous, direct and non-
stressful.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
GENUINE QUESTIONS
Genuine questions are those that genuinely want to find out
information from others. They imply a willingness on the
part of the questioner to learn something from someone
else.
There are five types of genuine question...
1. Closed: To check information eg "How old are you?"
Closed questions usually confirm information.
2. Open: To elicit information, feelings and views eg "What
do you feel about...?" Open questions open up a
conversation and lead to free information.
3. Reflective: To find out what is meant
eg "I always do it this way."
"Always?"
4. Probing: To help someone understand more.
eg "Exactly how? What do you mean "must"?"
5. Summarising: To check you understand, eg "So what
you're saying is...?"

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
TRAP QUESTIONS
Non-genuine questions have hidden or implied messages.
We use them to catch others out, not to show genuine
interest.
These are trap questions:
1. "Got You" Questions eg "Who was it who left the window
open (and let the breeze blow all the papers on the floor)? If
you answer this, you are caught in the person's trap.
2. Don't Argue Questions eg "I'm coming for the weekend,
OK?" This is a statement turned into a question, daring the
other person to challenge it. When they don't, you use this
as confirmation of their agreement.
3. Lawyer Questions eg "Am I right in thinking that you
were late twice last week?" This type of question is
practised daily by lawyers and adversaries in courtrooms to
catch witnesses out.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
BLAME QUESTIONS
Blame questions are examples of non-genuine questions
whose real intention is to blame.
1. "Put-them-on-the-spot" Questions eg "Have you done
anything about the report yet?" Here the implication is that
you haven't and you should have.
2. Screening Questions eg "Would you like me to help you
with the report?" The screening question is a difficult one
for the person to answer, because the true wishes of the
questioner are screened.
3. Limiting Questions eg "Don't you think you should have
finished that report by now?" These limit your answers to
what the questioner wants to know.
4. Hypothetical Questions eg "If you were boss, would you
have done that?" Hypothetical questions imply criticism of
others.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
NOTICING
The amount of information we can pick up from the act of
noticing is huge. Ray Bird Whistell of Pennsylvania University
has calculated that when we pay attention to external
stimuli, our eyes can take in 10,000 units of information per
second.
If we practise active listening and the use of genuine
questions, we then have chance to notice what is going on
inside the other person. We can notice the rate at which
they speak; the tone of their voice; how comfortable they
are; how they stand; where they stand; what expression
they use; where they look; which way they face; and so on.
The act of noticing, wedged as it is between listening and
understanding, enables us to gather information about
others and at the same time let them know we're interested
in them.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
DIFFERENTIATION
"Differentiation" is the ability to notice a large number of
different features in another object or person.
Professor Fred Fiedler has found that the ability to
differentiate marks out successful as against less successful
managers. He discovered in a study of basketball team
coaches that the successful coaches knew more individual
features about their players than the less successful coaches
While the better ones could say who shot well, who
dribbled well, who ran well, the poorer managers could only
rate their players on overall ability.
Jaap Stam, defender with Manchester United, says of
manager Sir Alex Ferguson: "He understands exactly how to
get the best out of every different individual. He also knows
all our strengths and weaknesses inside out: when we
should play, when we should be rested; our best positions
for specific games."

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
INTERPRETING
Putting a wrong or inappropriate interpretation on what we
see is one of the biggest causes of interpersonal
breakdowns. Misreading a situation is one of the underlying
themes of both tragedy and comedy.
In any interpersonal situation we scan the other person in
order to understand their responses, interpret meaning and
so make our next move. Making incorrect interpretations
and therefore incorrect responses can lead to social
embarrassment and misunderstanding.
We can never be sure of making 100% correct
interpretations in every encounter, even with people we
know well. It helps to keep an open mind for as long as
possible, to double-check any negative or unexpected
impressions and to guard against making false
interpretations.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
FALSE INTERPRETATIONS
The following categories of interpretation are likely to be
false because they distort information from others to fit in
with our own perceptions.
1. Expectations: we expect people to behave as they've
done before.
2. First Impressions: we make up our minds about others in
the first moments of an exchange.
3. Discounting: we discount or ignore evidence that doesn't
fit in with our perceptions.
4. Halo-horns Effect: we judge others according to one
glowing incident, the halo, or one bad incident, the horns.
5. Attributing: we assume people do things for the same
reasons as we would.
6. Liking, Disliking: our emotions colour our views.
7. Typecasting, Stereotyping, Pigeonholing: we want to set
people into pre-cast moulds.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
ASKING “WHY?”
Many false interpretations arise because, as soon as people
start talking, we jump to conclusions based on previous
experiences with the same person or because we feel more
comfortable with our fixed opinions, or because we don't
have the time and skill to listen.
One way to find out more is to ask "Why?" questions more
frequently, not in an intrusive or petulant way but with the
right tone, appropriate words, and a genuine desire to find
out the other person's situation.
Do you mind me asking why?
That's fascinating. Why do you...?
I was just thinking. Why do you need it now?
Can I ask why now?
Carefully-asked "why’s" lead you to understand other
people's needs, priorities, and agendas and improve your
understanding and hence communication.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
LAYING BLAME
When we find ourselves in interpersonal situations that
have gone wrong, we tend to interpret the situation so that
others get more blame than we do.
One mental trick we play on ourselves is to judge ourselves
in a different way from the way we judge others. Thus,
when we are at fault, we tend to put the blame on the
situation rather than on our behaviour: "I was angry
because I was feeling a bit down and the plumber hadn't
been...“
However, when we find others at fault, we tend to blame
their behaviour and not the situation: "She always gets
angry when she can't get her own way!“
One way to avoid such false interpretations is to check
ourselves every time we hear ourselves using words like
"always" and "never" about others.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
HIDDEN MEANINGS
We tend to believe that other people's actions are far more
pre-meditated, planned and deliberate than our own. This is
probably because while we know our own thought and
emotion processes, we do not know those of others. All we
see is the end result. So while we know we behave
unintentionally for some of the time, we don't tend to
believe others do.
This is particularly true where communications are already
poor between the people in a team. Instead of taking what
others do at face value, we look for hidden meanings,
discover plots and conspiracies and assume the worst.
The next time someone at work asks you to pick up the
ringing phone, don't imagine they're trying to get out of the
job or trick you into dealing with a difficult call. They may
just want you to pick up the phone!

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
RESPONDING
Responding is the final step in the interpersonal dance. The
psychotherapist, Carl Rogers, suggests there are five types
of response we can make to someone else. These are:
evaluative; interpretative; supportive; questioning; and
empathetic.
If a new member of the team says: "I intend to be successful
here", you could respond:
1. "That kind of attitude won't get you very far." (evaluative)
2. "It sounds as if you want to make a name for yourself."
(interpretative)
3. "That's great! Let me know how I can help." (supportive)
4. "Why are you so keen to become successful?"
(questioning)
5. "So you see this move as a stepping stone in your career,
do you?" (empathetic)

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
INSTANT RAPPORT
The key to instant communications and bonding is building
rapport. Rapport is the result of finding common ground
with others in the first moments of meeting. It creates a
feeling of knowing and liking the other person.
There are 5 sub-skills that aid the rapport-building process
and each is a powerful device by itself. In combination, they
are unstoppable.
1. small talk that is pleasant and non-confrontational
2. humour that is appropriate to the person and situation
3. use of the person’s name in an understated way
4. empathy with the other person’s needs
5. mirroring in all ways, in voice, tone and body language.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
SPEAK WITH GOOD PURPOSE
"Speaking with good purpose" is a way to converse with
others in a positive, constructive, and enhancing way, even if
the situation is a difficult one.
For example, if we work beside someone whose work area
is untidy, we might finally lose our patience and blurt out
without thinking, "You're so sloppy. Everything is a mess!"
This is unlikely to resolve the problem.
If, on the other hand, we think first about our intention and
how to phrase what we say, we might instead say something
like, "You know, I find it hard to share an office with you
because we each have different ideas about how to organise
our work areas.“
Speaking with good purpose means thinking before we
speak, deciding only to speak if the intention is honest, and
doing it with consideration for the feelings of other people.

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
THAT’S
IT!
WELL DONE!

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Interpersonal Skills
Communications
MTL Course Topics
THANK YOU
This has been a Slide Topic from Manage Train Learn