Of all the behaviours we might choose to develop, confidence is most people's Number One. And with good reason. Get to grips with a simple formula for confidence, and let you most authentic, resourceful come to the fore.
CONFIDENCE: A Brain-based Approach for Stand-out Leadership
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+44 (0) 7976 751 095 dan@danbeverly.com http://danbeverly.com
CONFIDENCE: A Brain-based
Approach for Stand-out Leadership 09 November 2016
Of all the behaviours we might choose to develop, confidence is most people's Number One. And with good reason.
Get to grips with a simple formula for confidence, and let you most authentic, resourceful come to the fore.
So far in this series, we've considered Influence and
Charisma as stand-out behaviours for leaders. Now we
come to the crowning trait: CONFIDENCE.
Because of all the behavioural development topics we
might chose, in my experience, confidence is Number One
on most people's list. And why not?
Imagine now: of all the things we might do, be and
achieve if we were just 10%, 25%, 100% more confident!
What all the traits in this article series have in common is
that they're behaviours that can be learned and
developed. Confidence is no different. So let's get to work.
The confidence formula
If you had to reduce your thoughts on confidence down to
a succinct model, what would you include? What could
your model of confidence not do without? For me, there
are 3 crucial parts.
1. Authentic Self
All confidence stems from authenticity. Being our genuine
self. Being comfortable in our own skin - in any situation.
Ask yourself now: Who is the me no one else sees? And
what can I do to bring more of that personality to the
fore?
2. Confident Beliefs
Confidence is an inner game. And the quality of our
confidence largely comes down to the quality of our
communication with ourselves. That is to say: our beliefs.
So ask yourself now: What am I choosing to believe about
confidence? And how can I upgrade disempowering
beliefs to empowering beliefs?
3. Confident Behaviours
We have a strategy for everything: including how we do
our lack-of-confidence. So reflect for a moment: How am I
doing my lack of confidence? And if I were super
confident, how would I do my confidence?
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+44 (0) 7976 751 095 dan@danbeverly.com http://danbeverly.com
Common confidence pitfalls
To add to our positive confidence formula, it's useful to
think about potential pitfalls.
There are a few traps we lay for ourselves and our
confidence. Take a look at the list below and consider
which of these you can be guilty of; and consider what
you might do to free yourself!
Attaching to our stories
Notice that much of our lack-of-confidence comes down to
the stories we tell ourselves - and then attach to. Instead,
challenge the story by asking: is it true? And superseding
it by inventing a story more useful to our confidence.
Being someone we're not
Authenticity is at the heart of our confident self. To
pretend to be someone else discounts of our true self. And
genuine confidence is going to be a tough ask from there!
Living by ego
Our ego wishes only two things: to look good; and be
right. Especially as experienced in the external world. But
confidence is an inner, not an outer, game. Quieten your
ego and be comfortably happy with who you are.
Exaggerating
Exaggeration is a message to ourselves that whatever
we've felt the need to embellish is not good enough. That's
quite a personal attack. Instead, own your achievements,
whatever they may be.
Listening to our inner critic
The quality of our life so often comes down to how we
speak to ourselves. Our inner critic can be harsh, relentless
and unforgiving. Practise quietening that voice by
replacing it with positive messages.
A simple workout for your
confidence
To embed confidence as an innate habit, here are a few
simple things you can be doing. All very straightforward.
No special instructions required!
Talk to yourself in a confident way
Make bold, positive pictures in your mind
Use your body as if already confident
Take action before you feel ready
Simply decide you’re a confident person
Confidence follows action
Perhaps the most useful thing I can say to someone
wishing to improve their confidence is to notice that
confidence follows action. We often reverse that idea,
choosing instead to think I'll wait to be confident, then act.
But confidence comes in the doing.
So be yourself, upgrade your beliefs and TAKE ACTION.
Say yes, and figure-out the rest later on. And break-out of
that learned helplessness.
Dan Beverly is a leadership and performance coach helping ambitious, high-
achieving professional women land their perfect career.
His mission is to inspire possibility in others for a career that leaves us feeling
fulfilled in our work, confident in ourselves and balanced in our life.
Go online to book your “Session Zero” with Dan – and start capitalising on
your pivotal career moments today.
http://danbeverly.com/session-zero