2. Choices of Successful Students
Employing Interdependence
•Develop mutually supportive
relationships
•Create a support network
•Strengthen relationships with
active listening
3. Stages of Dependence
Dependent
• “I can’t achieve my goals by myself.”
• Some people who are dependent
can’t help what they can and can’t
do. They have to rely on someone
else for their needs.
• Others who are “dependent” can be
considered selfish and are more
likely to avoid responsibility and
blame people for their problems.
They may even demand or
manipulate others into doing things
they don’t want to do themselves.
Codependent
• “I have to help other people get their
goals before I can pursue my own
goals.”
• Similar to dependent people,
codependent people may also rely on
others to provide for them.
• For the most part, codependent
people will usually put others’ needs
ahead of their own in order to avoid
any conflicts that may arise.
4. Stages of Dependence
Independent
• “By working hard, I can get some of
what I want all by myself.”
• Independent people are self-reliant
and self-empowered. At this stage,
people who are independent begin
building purpose, direction, and
trust for themselves.
• The feel powerful knowing they can
provide for and rely on themselves.
Interdependent
• “I know I can get some of what I want
by working alone, but I’ll accomplish
more and have more fun if I give and
receive help.”
• People who have reached the stage of
interdependence have learned that
even though they have the ability to do
things on their own, they know that
doing those tasks with others makes
completing them easier.
• People who are interdependent have
unlimited access to more love, success,
and happiness.
5. Developing mutually
supportive relationships
• Successful students recognize that life is
richer when giving to and receiving from
others.
• Having people on your side, supporting
you along the way can make
accomplishing your success a little easier
and a lot more fun.
6. Creating a support network
• Successful students use an interactive team
approach to gain their success.
• Students can successfully create and sustain an
effective support network by building
relationships with people who want what’s best for
you and who may even have similar interests as
you.
• By building those relationships, students can
achieve their greatest dreams in college and in life.
7. Strengthen relationships
with active listening
• Students have stronger relationships when
they learn to show concern for the other
person’s thoughts and feelings.
You can be a successful active listener when
you:
• Listen to understand
• Clear your mind and remain silent
• Ask the person to expand or clarify
• Reflect the other person’s thoughts and
feelings
9. Ineffective ways of communicating
Placating
• Placating is when you give into
someone else’s desires to keep them
from being angry at you.
• Desperately trying to win someone
over at your own expense
This is ineffective because while you’re
trying to keep things from getting
hostile in the slightest bit, you’re
putting everyone else’s needs ahead of
your own. This can eventually lead to
you not having enough time to take
care of yourself.
Blaming
• If you’re always placing the blame on
someone else, you’ll never learn
from your own mistakes.
• You can’t expect to get anywhere in
the world if you’re always pointing
the finger or if you have a negative
attitude.
Blaming others for your problems
causes people to drift away from you.
Negative people only attract other
negative people. You can’t expect to be
successful in communicating this way.
10. Leveling
• Leveling is an effective way of communicating
because it’s one way to show that you’re
interdependent.
• “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”
3 Strategies that promote leveling:
Communicate purposefully
• Have a clear goal for your communication. By
having a purpose for communicating to another
person, you’ll accurately get your point across.
Communicate honestly
• Express unpopular thoughts and upsets.
Communicating through honesty can help build
and strengthen relationships.
Communicate responsibly
• Be accountable by using “I” messages. It’s
important to take responsibility for your actions
and any outcome those actions may have.
