2. Session Aims
In this session we will work to:
•consider attachment theory in relation to learning
contexts
•review the Attachment Aware Schools project
•identify the key processes of Emotion Coaching
as a strategy for supporting children’s attachment
relationships and learning
•highlight the significance of relational models of
behaviour management
3. Pattern of attachment
•(Relationship)
Pattern of processing information
•(Transformations of information)
A strategy for identifying and responding
to danger
•(Mental and behavioral strategies)
International Association for the Study of
Attachment Resource Link
Attachment is…
4. Strange Situation: infancy
Preschool Assessment of Attachment (PAA): 2-5 y
School-Age Assessment of Attachment (SAA): 6-13 y
Transition to Adulthood Att. Interview (TAAI): 16-25 y
Adult Attachment Interview: adulthood
Parents Interview
Attachment Assessments
5. Memory systems involved in attachment,
learning and behaviour:
•Procedural Memory (Knowing how)
•Imaged Memory (Knowing where)
•Semantic Memory (Knowing that)
•Connotative Language (Knowing in what way)
•Episodic Memory (Knowing what happened)
•Integrative reflection (Understanding)
Dynamic Maturational Model
6. What we can do?
Lead practice so that:
•Nurturing relationships promote children’s learning and
behaviour particularly for vulnerable or high-risk children
and helps to satisfy children’s innate need to have a ‘sense
of belonging’
•Support practitioners to be secondary attachment figures
who can help to reshape the insecure IWM of the child to a
more secure IWM
•Be child-centred and acknowledge one size does not fit
all – in the same way we create additional infrastructures
for children with physical impairments, we need to do the
same for children with emotional and behavioural
impairments
8. Attachment Relationships – How we can Lead
Practice in Schools
• “Attachment influences students’ school success. This is true of
students’ attachment to their parents, as well as to their teachers.
Secure attachment is associated with higher grades and
standardized test scores compared to insecure attachment. Secure
attachment is also associated with greater emotional regulation,
social competence, and willingness to take on challenges, and with
lower levels of ADHD and delinquency, each of which in turn is
associated with higher achievement” (Bergin and Bergin, 2009)
• “Emotional well-being must be a larger part of any learning, and by
association, the educational agenda…. Schools may be the optimum
sites for buffering the impact of stress, building resilience and
enhancing individual capacities for learning” (Nagel, 2009)
• ‘Teaching is a social, interpersonal, attachment-based endeavour’
(Conzolino, 2013).
9. Interestingly:
•Dr Geoff Taggart at Reading University has
highlighted how leadership styles can be affected by
attachment styles
•For example, leaders who have avoidant
attachment styles often depend on achievement for
their self-esteem which invariably leads to stress-
related ‘burn out’
•Research into leadership and attachment styles
found that ‘secure-base’ leadership did not lead to
burn out, with leaders maintaining a healthy balance
of stress and other hormones in their system
(Kohlrieser 2012). 9
Attachment and Leadership
10. 1. What are the links between attachment
and educational attainment?
2. What does your school do to help pupils:
– promote emotional resilience?
– enhance individual capacities for learning?
– develop nurturing relationships?
– manage transitions?
1. Are schools currently fulfilling their public
duty to support the needs of all children?
10
Pause for thought
11. The Emotion Coaching
Project
Research aim:
‘To support the development of
resilience and community well-being by
integrating emotion coaching into
everyday practice in work with children
and young people’.
16. The Connectome - neuronal network
linking up the areas of brain
Denser network = quicker, faster, more reliable
connections because ‘the sum of the parts is better
than the parts alone’
17. Plasticity – the ability to adopt and
adapt to stimulus
Neuronal networks are continuously shaped by
genetic, environmental and experiential stimulus and
strengthened through repetition. Brain plasticity
reduces as we age
18. Mirror Neurones - encode information
about the external world and goal-directed
behaviour
They enable humans to emulate others and thereby
empathise & understand intent– essential for the
socialization of children
20. The Double Act
Networks between amygdala and frontal
lobes (OMPFC, anterior cingulate, insula) involved
with fear conditioning, emotional regulation
and attachment schema
More connections between amygdala and
frontal lobes than any other part of brain
21. “The vagal system allows us to maintain continued social
engagement by modulating and fine-tuning sympathetic
arousal during emotional interpersonal exchanges”
The Vagus Nerve: Runs from the brain throughout the body
and acts on all organs.
22. Vagal Tone
Good Vagal Tone
• Highly responsive:
• Respond quicker,
process information
faster, concentrate
better
• More appropriate and
effective responses to
stimuli
• Return faster to a
normal‘resting state’
Poor Vagal Tone
• Low responsiveness:
• Responds and
process information
not as quickly, less
able to concentrate.
• Less appropriate and
effective responses to
stimuli
• Difficulty returning to
normal ‘resting state
23. How does Emotion Coaching work with
the brain and body?
1. Provides a stimulus for triggering
the vagus nerve
2. Triggers an empathic mirror
system
3. Helps child to feel safe and calm
down
4. Provides a narrative for connecting
emotional and cognitive processes
5. Stimulates neural connections
between amygdala/limbic system
and frontal lobes (especially
OMPFC and corpus callosum)
6. Creates a process of co-regulation
and ‘repair’ (helping implicit
memories become explicit)
Helps child to learn to self-
sooth
Helps child to learn to self-
regulate
Helps child to learn to
resolve problems
Helps child to learn they can
survive adversity (or
thwarted
wishes/desires/needs)
Helps child to learn about
empathy and pro-social
behaviour
24. PART 2
What is emotion coaching?
• Based on research by John Gottman (1997) in
America.
• Research suggests it is a key to happy,
resilient, and well-adjusted children and young
people.
Emotion coaching is helping children and
young people to understand the
different emotions they experience, why
they occur, and how to handle them.
27. 5 Steps of emotion coaching
1. Be aware of child’s responses
2. Recognize emotional times as
opportunities for intimacy and
teaching
3. Listen empathetically and validate
child’s feelings
4. Help child to verbally label emotions
– helps sooth the nervous system
and recovery rate
5. Set limits while helping child to
problem-solve
28. What This Means in Practice:
STEP 1:
Recognising, empathising, validating the
feelings and labeling them
STEP 2 (if needed):
Setting limits on behaviour
STEP 3:
Problem-solving with the child/young person
29. Emotion Coaching Involves:
• Teaching children/young people
about the world of emotion ‘in
the moment’
• Giving children strategies to
deal with ups and downs
• Accepting negative emotions as
normal
• Using moments of negative
behaviour to as opportunities
for teaching
• Building trusting and respectful
relationships with
children/young people
30. Emotion coaching is a set of
processes that include:
talking to the child about the emotions
helping the child to verbally label the
emotions being felt
respecting and accepting the child’s
emotions
discussing the situations that elicited the
emotions
having goals and strategies for coping with
these situations (Gottman, 1997).
31. Lessons Learned
To empathize
To read others’ emotions and
social cues
To control impulses
(self-sooth and self-regulate)
To delay gratification
To motivate themselves
To cope with life’s ups and
downs (be resilient)
• To pay attention!
32. When it Goes Wrong
Children who are not emotion coached:
•Lack the ability to self-sooth
•Are less able to control their emotions
•Find alternative outlets for
dealing with their emotions
•Are less sensitive to social cues
•Have more trouble with school work
•Have more trouble getting along
with other children
•Have more behaviour problems with
teachers
•Have more stress-related hormones
•Have more illnesses (Gottman, 1997 & Goleman, 1995).
33. How Schools can Help
• “Schools are becoming emotional buffering
zones for the growing number of children hurt by
divorce, poverty, and neglect” (Goleman, 1995).
• Neurological resilience to self-sooth is fostered
by the emotional climate in the classroom.
35. Feelings Matter
Clip to View:
Are you disrespecting me?
Whilst watching:
Identify the feelings going on underneath the
behaviour in
a) The pupil
b) The teacher
The importance of a meta-emotion
philosophy (Gottman, 1997)
36. Emotion Coaching Style
“Much of today’s popular advice
ignores the world of emotions.
Instead, it relies on child-rearing
theories that address the
children’s behaviour, but
disregard the feelings that
underlie that behaviour” (Gottman,
1997).
37. Building a Power Base
“Proposing solutions before empathising is like
trying to build the frame of a house before you lay a
firm foundation” (Gottman).
•Emotional first aid is needed first.
•In this way, emotion coaching builds a power base
that is an emotional bond.
•This creates a safe haven, a place of trust, a place
of respect, a place of acceptance, a sense of self
etc.
•This in turn leads to children and young people giving
back respect, acceptance of boundaries etc.
38. What Emotion Coaching is
NOT
• A quick fix
• A panacea
• A substitute for
specific interventions
• A therapy
It is also not disapproving or dismissing any
emotions.
39. Disapproving style
• Disapproves of negative emotions – viewed as
a sign of weakness, lack of control,
unconstructive
• Lacks empathy, noticeably critical and intolerant
• Tries to get rid of negative emotions via
discipline, reprimand, punishment
• Focuses on the behaviour rather than the
emotions generating the behaviour
• More likely to view negative emotional displays as
a form of manipulation, lack of obedience, sign of
bad character
• Often motivated by need to control and regain
power and/or to ‘toughen up’ child
40. Dismissing Style
• Despite good intentions (wants to make child feel
better) but is uncomfortable with negative emotions
• Views negative emotions as toxic and so must be
‘got over quickly’
• Considers paying attention to such emotions will make them worse,
prolong them
• Tries to stop negative emotions by reducing/ minimising/ making
light of their importance/significance
e.g. it’s no big deal, don’t worry about it, be a big girl, that’s
life, you’ll be fine
• Often motivated by need to rescue and make things better, fix
the problem e.g. have a biscuit, I’ll buy a new one, you need to do
this
• Focuses on getting rid of the emotion with logic or distraction
rather than understanding the feelings
41. What we think about disapproving and dismissing
signifies to child…
“It works so it must be good!”
BUT the actual message is…
•What you are feeling is not right, your assessment of the
problem is wrong, you must not feel this way
•Child does not learn to trust own feelings affecting decision-
making
•Not given opportunities to experience emotions and deal with
them effectively so grow up unprepared for life’s challenges
•Not given opportunities to self-regulate or problem-solve
•Can lead to suppression of natural emotions, less or lack of
self-regulation, reliance on distraction to get rid of emotion
•Generates more negative feelings - resentment, guilt, shame,
anger
42. The Cross we Bear
Emotion Coaching
Disapproving
High empathy Low empathy
High guidance High guidance
Laissez Faire Dismissive
High empathy Low empathy
Low guidance Low guidance
Parenting Counts Resource Link
43. Emotion Coaching Messages
• We all have feelings and need to recognize them in
ourselves as well as others
• We are not alone and we are accepted, supported,
valid, cared about, understood, trustworthy and
respected – this is then returned
• We are empowered and it’s safe to engage in problem-
solving
• All feelings are normal but need to be regulated and
expressed constructively
• Problems and conflicts can be resolved
peacefully!
44. Part 3
How do we do Emotion Coaching?
• Having emotional awareness of own emotions
(Meta-Emotion Philosophy)
“Put on your oxygen mask first
before putting it on the child”
• Recognising the power and purpose
of emotions
• Empathising
• Active listening/Rapport building
• Scaffolding /Problem solving together
• Role-modelling
45. Emotion Coaching
STEP 1:
Recognising, empathising, validating the
feelings and labeling them
STEP 2 (if needed):
Setting limits on behaviour
STEP 3:
Problem-solving with the child/young person
49. Step 1- Empathise, Validate and Label
• Recognise all emotions as being natural and normal and not always
a matter of choice
• Recognise behaviour as communication (relational vs behavioural
model)
• Look for physical and verbal signs of the emotion being felt
• Take on the child’s perspective (mentalising/mind-mindedness)
• Use words to reflect back child’s emotion and help child/young person
to label emotion
• Affirm and empathise, allowing to calm down
• Provide a narrative/translation for the emotional experience (creating
cognitive links)
50. Emotion Coaching Scripts
• ‘I can see that you get angry when that happens. I
would feel angry if that happened to me. It’s
normal to feel like that’
• ‘I can see you’re frowning and you’re kicking the
wall and you’re expressing a lot of energy. I would
be feeling like that too if I didn’t want to do
something’
• ‘I noticed you looking around at the other who are
working on their projects. I think you might be
feeling nervous right now about whether your work
will be ok. Have I got that right?’
Step 1: Examples
51. Step 2 : Setting Limits (if needed)
• State the boundary limits of acceptable behaviour
• Make it clear certain behaviours cannot be
accepted
• But retain the child’s self-dignity (crucial for
responsive behaviour and well-being)
52. Emotion Coaching Scripts
Step 2: Examples
• ‘These are the rules that we have to follow.
Doing that is not ok’
• ‘We can’t behave like that even though you
are feeling annoyed because it is not safe’
• ‘You didn’t put the ball away as we agreed.
You’re probably angry that you can’t play
with Billy now because you have to stop
now’
53. Step 3: Problem Solving with the Child
• When the child is calm and in a relaxed, rational state:
• Explore the feelings that give rise to the
behavior/problem/incident
• Scaffold alternative ideas and actions that could lead to
more appropriate and productive outcomes
• Empower the child to believe s/he can overcome
difficulties and manage feelings/behaviour
54. Emotion Coaching Scripts
Step 3: Examples
• ‘This is not a safe place to be angry. Let’s go to a
safe place and then we can talk’.
• ‘Next time you’re feeling like this, what could you
do? How do you think you will react next time or if
this happens again’.
• ‘You need to sit either by Ruth or sit by
your key adult in front of me – which
do you want to do?’
55. Emotion Coached Children
Achieve more academically in school
Are more popular
Have fewer behavioural
problems
Have fewer infectious illnesses
Are more emotionally
stable
Are more resilient
57. A Moment in time:
• Regularly came to school
emotionally charged
• Argumentative/disruptive/
sabotage class
• Escalate to huge
tantrums, scream, swear,
slam doors, walk out, etc.
• My approach: punish and
reprimand
58. ‘Teacher’ Perspective
‘I felt the need to punish
negative behaviour because
my own experiences of school
taught me that that regains control
and establishes authority’.
Research shows teachers perceive a need to be
punitive in an attempt to stop problematic
behaviour (Liljequist & Renk, 2007).
My Teacher Perspective
59. My initial concerns
• I felt it seemed weak, it
seemed to put the child in
control
• Was it condoning or
encouraging the behaviour I
wanted her to stop?
60. Gottman’s Coaching
• “Negative feelings dissipate when
children can talk about their emotions,
label them and feel understood”
• “Children need to understand that their
feelings are not the problem, their
behaviour is”
61. Happily ever after …
• Once I adopted an emotion coaching approach
she started to slowly change her behaviour
• She no longer has so many tantrums
• She got on better with her peers and staff
• She cooperated more in the classroom
• She developed her own strategies for calming
herself down and was able to talk about how
she was feeling instead of resorting
to disruptive behaviour .
62. PERSPECTIVES OF IMPACT
23 generalised positive statements
Emotion coaching…
• “is a useful tool
• helps children to regulate, improve and take ownership of their
behaviour
• helps children to calm down
• helps children to better understand their emotions
• makes practitioners more sensitive to children’s needs
• helps to create more consistent responses to children’s behaviour
• helps practitioners to feel more ‘in control’ during incidents
• provides practitioners with a ‘script’
• makes practitioners less dismissive of children’s feelings
• has become embedded into practice and will continue
• should be used by all practitioners”
63.
64. Practitioners’ Quotes
‘It makes the children feel
more secure and gives
them a vocabulary to talk
about how they are feeling
instead of just acting out .
This helps them to be more
positive and happier’.
‘It makes the children feel
more secure and gives
them a vocabulary to talk
about how they are feeling
instead of just acting out .
This helps them to be more
positive and happier’.
‘I know now that
empathy is an
important part of
teaching’.
‘I know now that
empathy is an
important part of
teaching’.
65. ‘These are the kids that
drive you nuts but I’m now
very aware that I switch
something on and I’m
going to go through those
stages in a considered
way. I can be calmer and
then that helps the child
to calm down’.
‘These are the kids that
drive you nuts but I’m now
very aware that I switch
something on and I’m
going to go through those
stages in a considered
way. I can be calmer and
then that helps the child
to calm down’.
‘Children have
trust with their
teachers and it
impacts on
everything … they
have this
resilience to think
they can cope with
this, they don’t
have to fly off the
handle’.
‘Children have
trust with their
teachers and it
impacts on
everything … they
have this
resilience to think
they can cope with
this, they don’t
have to fly off the
handle’.
Practitioners’ Quotes
66. Young People’s Quotes
It calms you down a lot really.
If the teachers did that more
often that would probably help
us, because then we won’t go
back in messing around. We’ll
be, like all nice and calm.
Because if teachers just send us
out and just shouts at us we’ll
just carry on messing around
most of the time. If teachers just
asks us how we’re feeling and
what happened and everything,
we’re going to go in to have the
rest of the lesson nice and
peaceful and quiet
(Boy aged 13)
It calms you down a lot really.
If the teachers did that more
often that would probably help
us, because then we won’t go
back in messing around. We’ll
be, like all nice and calm.
Because if teachers just send us
out and just shouts at us we’ll
just carry on messing around
most of the time. If teachers just
asks us how we’re feeling and
what happened and everything,
we’re going to go in to have the
rest of the lesson nice and
peaceful and quiet
(Boy aged 13)
When people, like, take
the mick out of me, like,
in class I just get angry
and I just hit ‘em. Now
the teachers talks to me
and it calms me down –
the other kids don’t really
pick on me now because
they know that I don’t
react
(Boy aged 13)
When people, like, take
the mick out of me, like,
in class I just get angry
and I just hit ‘em. Now
the teachers talks to me
and it calms me down –
the other kids don’t really
pick on me now because
they know that I don’t
react
(Boy aged 13)
67. I would, like, walk off, I
used to kick off and get
excluded again. Now
someone tries to, like,
calm me down and
now I calm down and
regret it after. I will go
back and say sorry
(Girl aged 15)
I would, like, walk off, I
used to kick off and get
excluded again. Now
someone tries to, like,
calm me down and
now I calm down and
regret it after. I will go
back and say sorry
(Girl aged 15)
They listen to you
and make sure
that you’re OK
and, like, trying to
make sure you’re
stable and stuff
and all of this
helps you (Girl
aged 15)
They listen to you
and make sure
that you’re OK
and, like, trying to
make sure you’re
stable and stuff
and all of this
helps you (Girl
aged 15)
Young People’s Quotes
69. Case Study – Marked reduction in Calls Outs and Internal
Exclusions for 6 Young Boys at risk of permanent exclusion
Internal exclusions: 2010/11 2011/12
Young Person 1 6 5
Young Person 2 4 1
Young Person 3 5 5
Young Person 4 0 1
Young Person 5 2 1
Young Person 6 4 0
Calls out: 2010/11 2011/12
Young Person 1 23 20
Young Person 2 9 3
Young Person 3 15 6
Young Person 4 12 2
Young Person 5 16 3
Young Person 6 9 2
Reduction in
Call Outs:
84 to 36
Reduction in
Internal
Exclusions:
21 to 13
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Editor's Notes
Connectome, Project, mirror neurones,
epigenetics, plasticity, temperament,
multi-sensory stimuli, attention, memory & motivation, pruning,
The Physiology of the physicality : innate & universal emotional response, the autonomic nervous system and Vagal Tone
Social constructivism includes:Internal working model of control, Attachment theory & empathy, enabling environments, evidence based practice
Typical physiological increase and the effects of experience and environment
Their studies were based on previous findings that specific parts of an area of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC)--a center for so-called "executive" control of neural processing--are connected to the amygdala. The amygdala is the brain's major center for processing emotional events. The experimental challenge for Etkin, Hirsch, and colleagues was to determine whether this region of the ACC was responsible merely for "monitoring" conflict between cognitive and emotional processing or for actively "resolving" that conflict. Etkin, Hirsch, and colleagues found that the emotional stimuli activated the amygdala as expected. For any emotion, sensations come into our brain from outside and inside, and emotional responses result, responses that we don't have to learn. Culture teaches us different meanings to what other people say and do and different norms for how we should express our emotions, but all the emotions we have are shared by almost all humans because parts of our brain are all wired up the same way. Neuroscientists know that sensations from the outside world, from the spinal cord on up, go to the back part of our brainstem and back part of our cerebral cortex, from where they don't converge on some mythical decision center, but are relayed forward to trigger emotional responses out of the limbic system, including the amygdala, and more symbolic responses out of the more recent parts of our cortex like speech areas.It's not like all that happens independently, though. The idea that we have a war in us between emotion and reason is a typically human oversimplification of many different conflicts between our biology and our culture. It's a war in the minds of some, in the software, but not in their brains, the hardware, where the limbic system and neocortex are thoroughly connected, so most of us do OK at talking about our emotions. At the same time, how we talk about things influences the emotions our limbic system drives. It's not like one exists without the other.None of these places constitute a control center for emotional responses When you feel angry, there is a lot of autonomic and somatic motor activity that tells you you're angry. You feel a surge of energy. You might feel your heart beat faster and the warmth to your skin as your sympathetic nervous system gets ready to be active. Your somatic motor connections cause your muscles to tense everywhere, with your face tensing up in a way everyone would say is angry from looking at it.
– ‘a vagabond’
Link to previous slide and vagal tone result of vagus
CLIP- ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GdALwuYtG8&feature=related
Children need to learn how their bodies and brain work
Label the emotion, empathised, set limit.
N = 71
‘It makes the children feel more secure and gives them a vocabulary to talk about how they are feeling instead of just acting act . This helps them to be more positive and happier’.
‘I know now that empathy is an important part of teaching’.
‘These are the kids that drive you nuts but I’m now very aware that I switch something on and I’m going to go through those stages in a considered way. I can be calmer and then that helps the child to calm down’.
‘Children have trust with their teachers and it impacts on everything … they have this resilience to think they can cope with this, they don’t have to fly off the handle’.
‘It makes the children feel more secure and gives them a vocabulary to talk about how they are feeling instead of just acting act . This helps them to be more positive and happier’.
‘I know now that empathy is an important part of teaching’.
‘It makes the children feel more secure and gives them a vocabulary to talk about how they are feeling instead of just acting act . This helps them to be more positive and happier’.
‘I know now that empathy is an important part of teaching’.
