2. Introduction The Buddhist views on marriage are very liberal. In Buddhism, marriage is considered as personal and individual concern, and not as a religious duty. Buddhism does not compel a person to be married. It does not force somebody to remain as a bachelor. Neither it wants one to lead a life of total chastity. It is not laid down anywhere that Buddhists must produce children or regulate the number of children that they produce.
3. Rituals: Khachang Among the Buddhists either the parents or the boy choose his prospective bride. Once it is decided that the you want to marry this particular girl, a family friend would usually go to the girl's house. He would carry a bottle of whisky and a white silk scarf called khada to offer. It is meant to see whether they give a nod to the proposal. This type of visit is usually known as Khachang.In case the family agree, the next step after Khachang is a meeting between the two families.
4. Rituals: Nangchang This is the ceremony which has the formal engagement taking place. The Nangchang is presided over by a lama or rimpoche. The maternal uncles of both the sides play an important role in the ongoing marriage negotiations. On the boy's side, the mama and the siblings play important role. Whereas, the girl's side has the entire family, friends and the mama joining the occasion. The guests would bring Tsang and many kinds of meat to the girl's house.
5. Marriage Ceremony Buddhists are very strict when it comes to the matters of their ceremonies, with weddings being no exception. The day for the wedding is decided by the monk called Lama. It will be followed by the betrothal ritual The Lama recites the prayers and then a concoction called the madyan, which is a religious drink served to drinks. The astrologer of the monks the auspicious day for the wedding. In the early morning, the bride's and the groom's families arrive at the temple. The groom's family carries a procession of trays containing fruits, wine, traditional cake, tea, meat, and jewelry that the bride will get as dowry. The trays have to be either six or nine in number, never seven or eight as these are considered unlucky numbers. One of the trays also contains a pair of candles which are lit either by the bride and the groom or their parents; the tradition varies with places and countries. The lighting up of the two candles symbolizes the union of the two families.
6. Bridal Wear The Buddhist bride has a dress made of brocade called Bhaku. The dress resembles a sarong, only it’s full length. The bride wears it with a sleeved blouse called Hanju. The hanju is usually made of Chinese silkcalled khichen. She also wears a a special coat and scarf. Also unusual jewellery (Khau) is also worn by her. It’s made of large precious stones like turquoise, coral, pearl, etc. This is worn around the neck and also on the forehead by traditional family girls. She wears heavy gold bracelets on her arms also that is mostly in pure gold or gold plated.
7. Groom Wear A Buddhist groom also wears a Bhaku, one that is with sleeves. The bhaku reaches to just above the ankles. The bhakuis made of brocade and is worn with a waistcoat called Lajha. The groom also wears a cap that is also made of brocade and a sash around the waist.
8. Celebrations Music & Dances: Music and dance have been always a part of the marriage fair in Sikkim. The main dances of the occasion are Sangini, Nepali folk dance Maruni, TamangSelo, Chufaat, Zo-mal-lokBhutia folk dance, Singhi Cham, Yak Cham and Chabrung etc. The dances of Sikkim with Indian traditions except in the cases of mask dances which have the same format as the Buddhist dances still practiced. The women here have their independent folk dances but the men by and large are attracted only to the monastic versions.
9. Cuisine The wedding feast includes meat dishes made of beef and pork. Rice dishes would be there also as rice is the staple food. Buddhists go for the oriental dishes, hence their dishes are generally steamed or roasted. They also have semi-fried or stewed food. The Buddhist feast has started including the usual North Indian dishes like those of DalMakhani, Naan, Channa, and Paneer. Also Indian sweets like those of Gajar ka Halwa, GulabJamun are also increasingly found in the marriage menus. Typical Buddhist dishes like Nettle Soup which is a variety of Orchid flower and cottage cheese is also found at the wedding. And lastly there is wine and similar alcoholic drinks should be kept in the carte du jour.
