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To my childhood friend
C.B.
who was always reciting
the spelling of her name.
We were mavericks.
Where you at, girl?
We come into gloriously unfettered Chapter 8 with several things going on at once:
At one end of the dining room/ kitchen level, Grandpa Loki has volunteered to take Elrod to the
training-potty for the first time. . . .
“Now stay put and do a tinkle and Grandpa will give you a whiskey,” Loki bribed his grandson.
. . . . while out on the landing Fluticasone potty-trains Elrod's twin brother, Skeeter.
“Come on, high five! No? Whadaya mean you can't do a high five?!” a scandalized Fluticasone
scolded her son.
Grandma Tootie wants to teach Skeeter to talk; it looks like she's missing work today to do it!
“Say 'marshmallow-chair' junior,” Tootie instructed.
“Wainbow in the sky!”Skeeter declared confidently.
“Eh, close enough,” Tootie shrugged.
“Bye Grandpa, off to worky-jerky with ya!” Jessie said, acknowledging Loki heading off to his job as an
Education Minister.
“Why doesn't she have to go?! No fair!” Loki grumbled in response, indicating his wife.
While Skeeter's getting his learning on downstairs, Elrod is going down for a nap on the third floor.
“Now if you make a poopy remember what I taught you; and here's the shovel from your sand-box,
just in case.”
Returning back to the dining room. . .
“Gwamma!!” Skeeter cheered.
“Yeah kid you got me, whadaya want?” Tootie responded.
Holy cracker-jack, Skeeter can talk!
That afternoon, Fluticasone and Jessie had The Talk. Yes, THE talk.
“”What do you think about doing 2 more kids?” Fluticasone asked.
“You wanna do what?!” Jessie asked, cocking his head at his wife.
And so the discussion went.
After a decision had been made, Fluticasone left the room, and Jessie had a good cry.
I wonder what the verdict was?
Oh well, we'll probably never know. Probably.
Wakey-wakey adoring parents!
It's a Potty-Training Minute with Jessie & Fluticasone, with special guests Elrod & Skeeter!
Let there be complete silence as our guests need all their concentration to pull off their mind-
bending performances. . . .
The next morning Loki discovered belatedly that Tootie was still a loyal fan of Shu-Shu
Braunschweiger's cooking show.
I feel like I've been robbed! What is this gnarly concoction??” he demanded to know.
“Don't judge your corn flakes with ranch dressing, just experience them honey, experience them!”
Loki sat back in his chair and just stared at the woman he'd made 10 children with.
UPDATE: Skeeter(not pictured) can now talk and is potty-trained.
Elrod here, on the other hand, has not accomplished a daisy-licking thing.
Grandpa Loki to the rescue!
“Grandpa's going to slip you a secret drink, kiddo,” he whispered conspiratorially.
And now of course, Skeeter's awake.
Look into them buggy little blue eyes man.
He knows!! I'd swear, he knows.
And down in the kitchen is a toddler who is unaware that he's about to seriously play catch-up
as he takes a biiiigg drink of this glowing green bottle.
The first major milestone for Elrod is getting potty-trained!
Thank yoooouu Grandpa!
“You go kid,” Aiyana the maid said as she casually photo-bombed this special moment, smacking her gum.
Next is working on that speech!
“Say 'asparagus & cranberry snooters',” Loki prompted his grandson.
“Ashpeaw-gus cwanbewwy- snootow!” Elrod repeated.
“Why am I here again?” Nichole Thompson, the nanny, asked mostly to herself.
While all of that was going on inside the house, Jessie came home with a promotion to Relic Liberator!
“HELLOOO!! Promotion?!” Jessie called to his family.
Sorry Jessie, they're kinda preoccupied. You see. . . .
Skeeter has earned his first creativity skill point! Know any Queen songs, kid?
Not only that . . .
Elrod has now caught up to his brother by learning to talk!
“So. . .ti-owd. . . gwam'pa!” Elrod declared in weary little grunts.
“Oh that's nice, you can talk!” Grandpa Loki realized happily, “And the wallpaper's starting to peel away
on that wall, do you see it Nichole?” He asked the nanny.
“Yes sir; shall I take the baby now?” She replied.
Meanwhile Skeeter got a break from his xylophone for dinner. . .
“Ah,” he paused, tasting his baby-slop, “it tastes like. . . blueberry tart! AND a loaded baked potato!!”
“It's spaghettios with squirrel-chunks, you'll eat it and like it!” A voice yelled from off camera.
Up on the third floor, Jessie woke up to discover Tootie lounging on the bed next to him.
How very awkward.
“What-cher up to, Jessie-boy?” Tootie asked him, looking around the room.
Jessie was stumped; this was his mother-in-law after all.
Appropriately, Jessie kicked her elderly a* * out and resumed his siesta.
Tootie decided that the play-room recliner was a better place for a snooze anyway.
“I wanna ride the- ZZZzzzz. . . .” Tootie yawned in her sleep.
What has been seen cannot be un-seen, eh Elrod?
“POOPY!!” he replied proudly.
Yes, poopy. Oh- you're doing that.
There's only TWO DAYS left before Skeeter and Elrod grow into kids!
“Time to learn to walk, little man!” Fluticasone cooed at her son.
As it turns out, Mama wanted to teach Skeeter to walk while Papa Jessie wanted to teach Skeeter or Elrod
or both.
So they switched. . .
. . . .and we had a little walking-party out on the deck!
“Conga-conga- con-GA!” Jessie cheered at his wobbly little boy.
“I think it's a little early for that yet dear,” Fluticasone replied with most of her attention on Skeeter.
“Oh OKAY,” Jessie pouted.
“WE FORGOT THE TORTILLA-CHIPS!!” Jessie wailed in one of his 'I'm not having any fun' hysterical
melt-downs.
So even though Elrod was halfway through learning to walk when Jessie got ahold of him, Skeeter still
won the walking race. * sigh. Gawd da** you, Jessie.
Maybe one of you readers can teach Elrod what's left of his walking?
I always get a thrill out of watching a toddler walk for the first time, never mind that
he's glowing like a kid over-loaded on gamma-rays.
Gooooo Skeeter!!
Since Miss Fluticasone hasn't really sat down since she got off work
(doing all of Skeeter's walking-lesson and the first half of Elrod's)
I thought she deserved a bubble-bath.
While Jessie threw his fit down on the deck, Grandma Tootie came and put Elrod in his crib herself.
“You done, Jessie??” She called from within the paper-thin walls.
“Yes thanks!” He yelled back casually.
After some SSSX3(game console) time and some food, Jessie and Elrod achieved their wants together!
(Elrod's to walk, Jessie to teach him)
SHEESH!
Wait, wasn't there something Jessie was supposed to be doing?
Ohhh yeah. WORK. Jessie is off to work late in the dude-mobile, ever the intrepid explorer!
He looks so intrepid! And explorer-y!
*girlishly squeals *
Look who it is in a “sidewalk cameo”!
Hello Ibuprofen!
“Did I just see gold fillings in that maid's teeth?! Yowza that's hot!!” he exclaimed.
“No you didn't, and go away; you're creepy,” Aiyana the maid retorted, hiding in her van.
Well now! Not only did Jessie NOT get reprimanded for his lateness, but he got promoted!
Jessie is now a Dread Pirate!! I can't wait to see him in that get-up!
What a fearsome pirate he will be. :-)
Meanwhile, upstairs in the dining area. . .
“Yeah,” Fluticasone laughed, “and they weren't even our shoes!”
“So how's business for Jessie lately?” Loki asked his daughter.
“I'm getting worried,” Fluticasone replied, “he's been Relic Liberator for like, a really long time. Don't
they see his potential?”
“It's all over his face,” Loki replied, “I mean how can they miss it?”
The boys have each learned to walk, talk, and have been potty-trained.
They each have 2 skill-points of logic, creativity, and charisma.
It's 2:10 a.m. on a saturday(game-time).
Let's have some birthday parties!!
First up (because he IS up) is Elrod!
“Swing yo' partner, do-si-do!” Jessie cheered happily, as he and Fluticasone rattled and honked
the noise-makers around.
“Who now? What now??” Tootie stared around vaguely, “I need to go to the Floor-Mart!”
“Yaaay! Good lungs!” Grandpa Loki cheered as his grandson blew out his own candles.
Here comes grow-up time!
Elrod is now a child!
For whatever reason I didn't note his aspiration level earned as a toddler, but just one look at that pretty face,
and everything is just fine. . .
Oh! Somebody needs to go get Skeeter!
“I'll go get 'em if the boys can take grandma to get her taco shells!” Tootie said loudly from off-screen.
“THEY CAIN'T DRIVE YET, GRANDMA!” Loki yelled at his wife.
“Daddy's mole is not a tether-ball, kiddo,” Jessie lectured the toddler out of the side of his mouth,
wincing as the mole was batted to and fro.
THERE'S that shiny-headed birthday-twin!
Skeeter laughed delightedly as Jessie blew out the candles for his son.
The lazy little layabout!
Bet he doesn't have to do anything for himself as he gets older!
Skeeter's now a child!
As a toddler he earned the aspiration level of Precocious Preschooler.
How marvelous it must be to instantly sprout a full head of hair like that. .
So stylishly coifed and greased, it can only be butter-cream!
'Yes Butter-cream, for that baby's-bottom- slick, matte-like finish on any troublesome head of hair!'
*ahem, carrying on . . .
YAARR! My oh my Jessie, aren't we lookin' smexy today?
Yep, Jessie's off to be a pirate; A DREAD PIRATE!
The newly- grown children settled in the living room on this fine Saturday to brush up on things like
cooking and mechanical skill-points.
But Elrod, as intent as he was on starting on his vital life-skill set, was distracted by a strange book just
lying around on the floor.
“Hey Skeeter! Come look at this funny book! It has pictures! And it's OLD!” Elrod whispered excitedly.
“Leave me alone, Elrod! I'm trying to learn to make pasta primavera,” Skeeter waved him away.
A handful of significant pages later, Elrod seems to have forgotten his original purpose
in the room. . . .
“This book is weird, mama! I'm gonna go watch Jacko n' Effie!”
“Sure, kiddo! But be quiet! You almost made me mess up Mr. Bunnykins's mouse-friend!”
“Okay!”
Out in the driveway, señor Jessie has arrived home with a promotion to War-Head Disarmer!
Been disarming stink-bombs today fella?
That evening our young lovebirds bide their time with a chess game, waiting until their
next offspring arrives.
“Unga-bunga chess make baby come faster?” Fluticasone grunted, somehow reverting to a cave-sim for
the moment.
'Must not look at cleavage!!' Jessie thought, averting his eyes from his wife's swollen pregnancy-body in
an attempt at politeness.
About 3 a.m. Jessie, ever the considerate husband, brought a tasty spaghetti snack up to the third-
floor playroom for his ravenous wife.
“La la la-la, mangy goat-meatballs; la la la-la, pig's blood marinaraaa!” Fluticasone sang merrily as
she then carried her plate back down to the dining room.
Of course Jessie's smart enough to know that if he hadn't brought food, he might have been mauled
in his sleep.
Yep, a pregnant lady is walking downstairs at 3 a.m., with a plateful of food.
Oh, and did I mention she's walking a fine line between starving and passing out?
Yep, it's all perfectly normal 'round here . . .
The next day, Grandma Tootifer got an itch to travel, as elder sims very often do.
“It's decided! We're all going on a visit to Limbo-Land to have a nice chat with all of my children,
who've been polite enough to step out and let Fluticasone take over the story!”
Fernando the lawn flamingo listened silently but intently to a certain conversation as
Grandma Tootie and Fluticasone made their way out to the car:
“We're going in one big trip?!” Fluticasone exclaimed, “Won't that take up a lot of slides in our life-
story? Won't it take like, a forever-long time??”
“It won't be so bad if we visit a house at a time, darling chunky-buns,” the wise Tootie replied
soothingly.
“Oh, very well, “ Fluticasone replied with a sigh, “when do we leave?”
The two women went on their way, still chatting, but the wheels in Fernando's head began turning. . . .
After the Freshnfruitys left on their quest to visit family, we found
Aiyana the maid ranting in a stereotypical British accent:
“They leave on that trip of theirs and it's 'Clean the house' the missus says,
'Bring in the papers' the old people say, but ain't nobody said nothin' about
bringing no felly-tone out to no bleeding plastic lawn flamingo!
'poner el teléfono en el patio delantero' 'e says! I don't even know who 'e is
and I has to bleeding translate it but I does it all the same! I swear I'll never
live this down if word gets out; next I'll be bringing tea for the gnome and
corn for the chicken! Rant, rant, ramble, ramble. . .”
Fernando breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the maid re-entered the house.
It was time for a reunion, and while they might not know who to blame the
phone bill on, they'd never think of him!
The party was on! Now how was he going to reach the phone?
Let's see what's happening with the rest of the Freshnfruitys. . .
Pescado Park
The Community Pool
Fantasy Castle
Restaurant
Limbo-Schmimbo Shopping Center
You'll have 4 mystical, magical, wond'rous sights to see . . . .in Limbo Land!
The Girls' House:
The family stepped out of the car and marveled at the fancy digs in which the not-
winning girls(from the heir poll days)had been forced to set up house in Limbo-Land.
“Gee, it's really too bad none of them won and got to live in a stack of tacky, outdated
trailers,” Fluticasone commented from behind the camera.
“Let's go on inside gang,” Loki urged them, “ The girls are out but they said they'd meet
us for dinner later and we're welcome to look around.”
They stepped into the quietly temperature-
controlled living room, which still smelled of
fresh paint and newly-cut wood.
“Gosh,” Tootie gasped in her manly-falsetto-voice,
“No sour shag carpeting, no rackety-clackety wall-
unit a.c. on its last leg- tell me why we're still living in
that pile of shh. . . shoe-horns??”
“It's all that crazy fairy business, remember Bunny-
Smooches? Nobody seems to be quite sure how it all
happened,” Loki reminded her, “ But we should just
be grateful that we're taken care of, and our other
children haven't been neglected.”
To the left of the central living area, there was a simple bedroom and bathroom,
equipped with quality furnishings.
The beds had been upgraded since the move, but the striped armchairs were still there as
a memento from the Limbo-house in Strangetown.
Past the couches, on the other side of the bedroom wall, was a small kitchen.
With a house like this, a good kitchen is nice but there wouldn't be much time spent here
as the goings-on would be elsewhere.
The dining area, however, looked like it would be a lovely place to gather that evening,
with a lovely view of the back yard and lots of sunshine during the day.
Speaking of the back yard, they couldn't resist the urge to stop there before going
upstairs.
There was a little bit of a garden, and the bubble-blower and golf-putters looked like
they might keep a party going most of the night!
Going back to the living room, they felt as though they had missed something but-
“Hey wait, what is that room on the right?” and “Where do those stairs go?” they asked each other.
They decided to investigate the upstairs part of the house.
The upstairs turned out to be dedicated mostly to skill-building and entertainment.
One balcony, just off to the right of the stairs, held a pinball machine.
A second balcony held a drum set!
The area where the piano was kept seemed to be designed so that people standing in the
ground-floor entryway would be able to look up and enjoy the music.
Workout room Piano Energizer
← to balcony
to 2nd
^
balcony
(drum-set)
Having seen what was upstairs, they came back down and found a second t.v. room, with
an arcade game and a painting easel.
There was also a third bathroom, because this house was originally designed to hold
more than five people.
They turned back towards the door and found that across the hall from the bathroom
there was another bedroom. . .
And similarly, down at the other end of the hallway,(nearer to the first bedroom they
saw) was a third bedroom!
With all three bedrooms having double beds, that meant one lucky girl had a room to
herself. :-)
The girls all arrived back at home and Hydrocodone came out to greet the family.
“Hey cool, you made it!” She exclaimed happily.
“Should we not have?” Grandma Tootie asked hesitantly, looking over the house again.
“Should I not be going inside after all?” Fluticasone asked from the sidewalk.
Meanwhile, back at Trailer Towers. . .
“Ah sí, es mi familia. Ellos están llegando!”
Ah yes, it's my family. They are coming!
¡Oh, no! Esto podría ser un problema.
Oh, no! This could be a problem.
*squawk! “Mi primo Gustavo! Mi primo Alejandro! ¿Cómo están sus familias?”
“My cousin Gustavo! My cousin Alejandro! How are your families?” Fernando said joyfully.
“Mis hijos, poco Renaldo e Hidalgo tienen todas las niñas persiguiendo a ellos en la escuela y pidiendo besos!”
“My children, little Renaldo and Hidalgo have all the girls chasing them at school and asking (for) kisses,” said
Gustavo proudly.
Alejandro, in his fine top hat, stuck his plastic chest out as he spoke:
“Mi bella Josefina está a punto de darme nuestro cuarto par de gemelos!”
“My beautiful Josefina is about to give me our fourth pair of twins!”
“Eso es bueno, Alejandro! Pero ¿dónde está mi Carmelita? ¿Dónde está mi corazón?”
“That's good, Alejandro!”Fernando grinned somehow, “But where is my Carmelita? Where is my heart?”
We return to the girls' house in Limbo-Land
as the Flamingo family drama continues on the home-lot. .
An hour of hanging out on the front porch later. . .
“Okay! Everything's all right again! We got food cooking too!” Oxycodone said happily as she ushered
them through the front door.
“Move it sister! Pregnant lady! Coming through!” Fluticasone barked as she barged through the
doorway.
“What a pretty house,” Tootie said simply, and Loki nodded in agreement.
It's 9:00! Time for dinner, with surprise chef,(and Oxycodone's fiance) Gerard Landry!
Way to go Cap'n Hero! Dinner's really cooked now!
So much for that tasty mac n' cheese. . .
*Sigh, I guess that means we'll just have the lobster!
“Oh gosh! What is it like to actually punch a clock?” Oxycodone
asked, “Do you remember, Pink Bismuth?”
“I dunno,” Pink shrugged.
“Maybe it's like. . . marshmallow-clouds. . . and rainbow
unicorns,” Hydrocodone said dreamily.
“What about you, boy?” Tootie asked the guy that Gerard brought
to dinner, “You're both Cap'n Hero, what's it like punching in with
the likes of the Llama Queen?”
“Uhh Gerard, I think I'm gonna go; I was not expecting this!”
Then Omeprazole came home from her Rock-Star
job.
“What's up you guys? Oh yeah! The dinner thing!” she
exclaimed.
“There's our girl!” Loki greeted her.
“Hey Omeprazole has a clock-punching job! Right , sis? Don't
you do that?” Pink Bismuth exclaimed.
“Not really- no,” Omeprazole responded.
“EEW! Pregnant lady smells all FISHY!” Gerard said from next
to Fluticasone.
“It's the lobster dude. Remember the lobster?” she sighed.
After dinner the party broke off into various parts of the house.
Fluticasone took the opportunity to entertain her sister Pink Bismuth, as well as her dinner-buddy
Gerard on the piano upstairs.
“Tinkle-tinky-doo! Tinkle-tinky-dee!” Gerard sang and clapped to the merry music.
Pink Bismuth simply burst out laughing; “It's 'Here we go Looby-Loo' you doofus,” she managed to gasp
through her laughter.
Meanwhile, down in the back yard, Hydrocodone taught her parents the ropes on
the bubble-blowing machine.
“I'm flying J- I mean Loki!” Tootie called out joyfully.
Meanwhile, back at the Trailer Towers,
the Flamingo Family Reunion continues. . . .
“Eso es bueno, Alejandro! Pero ¿dónde está mi Carmelita? ¿Dónde está mi corazón?”
“That's good, Alejandro!”Fernando grinned somehow, “But where is my Carmelita? Where is my heart?”
“Yo estoy aquí, mi Fernando.”
“I am here, my Fernando,” Carmelita announced as she elegantly strolled onto the scene.
“Pero, ¿quién es este? ¿Ha traído su hermano Vicente como acompañante?”
“But who is this? Have you brought your brother Vicente as a chaperone?” Fernando asked with a furrowed brow.
"¡Ay no; este es mi novio Gerardo, y estamos en nuestro camino a Costa Rica para casarse. "
“Alas no; this is my fiance Gerardo, and we are on our way to Costa Rica to be married,” Carmelita said regretfully.
"¿Pero por qué, Carmelita??"
“But why, Carmelita??” Fernando begged, heartbroken and thunder-struck, as he approached her.
"Sí, ya sé que es una lástima Fernando; estuvimos separados durante demasiado largo, por qué no podían tu gente
comprar dos? Yo hice esta pregunta todos los días durante un largo tiempo."
“Yes, I know it is unfortunate Fernando; we were apart so long- why could your people not buy both of us?” Carmelita
lamented, “I asked myself this question every day for a long time.”
"Pero entonces Gerardo llegó a mi vida. Traté muy difícil resistirse, pero él siempre me estaba felicitando-”
“But then Gerardo came into my life. I tried very hard to resist his efforts to charm me, but he was always
complimenting me, he-” Carmelita was interrupted by a sudden, passionate outburst from Gerardo.
"Yo era muy amigo de sus piernas bien torneadas, su delicado pico, la forma en que ella se quedó muy todavía-"
“I was so very fond of her shapely legs, her delicate beak, her quiet way of standing-” she stopped Gerardo before he
could embarrass himself further.
"Shush, querida", dijo Carmelita a su prometido, luego se vuelve de nuevo a Fernando,
"Estamos en una prisa para llegar a Costa Rica. Tal vez usted se una a nosotros un día a lo largo de las orillas del Río
Celeste".
“Shush, darling,” Carmelita said to her fiance, then turned back to Fernando, “As you can see we are anxious to reach
Costa Rica. Maybe you will join us one day by the banks of the Rio Celeste.” And with that the couple flew off into the
horizon.
Carmelita's announcement and sudden departure had by then drawn a crowd, and as Fernando reacted to
the whole tawdry scene, his relatives were beginning to gather to give their support.
Carmelita! No es tan !! Qué puedo hacer ?? Ninguna mujer es como ella en todo el mundo! "Él gritó al cielo.
Carmelita! Nooo!! Whatever shall I do?? There is no other like her in all of the world!” he wept to the sky.
"Ese vagabundo!", exclamó la tía Consuela.
* squawk! * “That hussy!” huffed his Aunt Consuela.
"Ella no tiene ninguna vergüenza ?!" Stephano el Bisabuelo estaba indignado.
* squawk! * “Has she no shame?!” demanded his indignant Great Grandfather Stephano.
* squawk! squawk! * the rest of the family called after the couple, shouting various challenges and curses as the two
flew away.
The crowd parted, and an elderly
lawn flamingo approached
Fernando then.
He was rickety and fragile; his
leg-posts were corroded and
rusting, and he could barely flap
his plastic wing-shapes.
Fernando never thought he'd see
Baldomero the Elder on his
people's lawn in his life.
“Ay caramba, es Baldomero! ¿Qué está diciendo a usted Fernando?”
“Oh gosh, it's Baldomero! What does he say, Fernando?” cousin Gustavo asked eagerly.
"Cállate, no ha dicho nada todavía idiota!"
“Be quiet, he hasn't said it yet you fool!” Fernando shushed Gustavo.
The creaky old lawn ornament slowly, agonizingly opened his beak as if he had not squawked in a long time.
"Sí, Baldomero?"
“Yes, Baldomero?” Fernando asked hesitantly, cocking his head to one side.
"Boy", Baldomero jadeó, "Cuando vine a esta reunión pensé que teníamos intención de p- partido", espetó. "¿Podemos ahora seguir
adelante con ella?"
“Boy,” Baldomero gasped, “When I was brought to this reunion I thought we intended to p- party,” he spat. “Now can we get on with it?!”
"Aiyana querida, estamos teniendo una reunión, haga el favor de traer algunas fuentes del partido al patio delantero?
“Aiyana my dear, we're having a reunion; please bring out some party supplies will you?” Fernando asked the maid politely.
“Oh boy there he goes again,” the maid went off ranting for a second time, “Oi- wait a minute! So you're the one 'oo's been
leaving them felly-tone messages?? Hoo boy, I've cracked me 'ead haven't I? There's mustachioed ones! And that little
bearded one by George! I suppose the ones in skirts is girl ones then?” Aiyana cackled, looking around and shaking her
head.
Feel like bleedin' Alice in Wonderland I do, but by gory I'm doin' what the plastic birdie says, regardless whether it makes
any sense or not! You want cake too, do ya birdie?? Phh! Patio delantero 'e says! *rant, rant, ramble, ramble . . .”
A few hours of setup and food-prep later . . .
Hoo, boy! When I'm settin' up a big to-do for lawn ornaments that's when I calls it a day! No more scrubby-scrubby today for Miss
Dallas, noooo mum! I'll go home and pour me tea and not think about flamingos, no flamingos and no pink things neither for a few
days or Miss Aiyana will go stark- bonkers she will! Oh crackers that's about all a girl can handle, * rant, rant, barking laugh . . .”
Let's see how the party's going shall we?
Well! Despite putting her on the brink of madness, I'd say the maid did pretty well!
They have salsa music, burgers and hot dogs, balloons, and they really seem to be going to town on the fruit
punch.
It's getting a little wild in there though; best to just stay back and observe. :-)
Is there such a thing as too much fruit punch?
Apparently you can have too much fruit punch!
A lot of the family(the respectable family) has flown on home, but quite a few are either starting to stir and stagger around
in the yard or are still asleep.
A stray dog is even investigating the wreckage!
How are you today, Aiyana?
* grumble, grumble, mutter. . .
That evening, Fernando once again had the front yard all to himself. He breathed a great heaving
sigh into the vast quiet, still reeling in his little, plastic, birdie-heart from the idea that Carmelita
had moved on.
But then, just as he was sadly resigned to sleep, two familiar flamingos wandered over.
“Usted pensó que se quedaron solos en una noche como esta?”
“Did you think we would leave you alone on such a night?” Alejandro asked.
* AWK! * Fernando comenzó, sacudiendo despierto.
* AWK! * Fernando started, snapping awake.
"La familia no abandona a uno de los suyos en su hora de necesidad.", Agregó Gustavo.
“Family does not abandon one of their own in their hour of need.” Gustavo added.
"¿Qué quieres decir con" mi hora de necesidad "? ", preguntó Fernando, "Es mi tristeza te refieres?"
“What do you mean 'my hour of need'?” Fernando asked Gustavo, “is it my sadness you respond to?”
Los dos primos se miraron el uno al otro. "Estábamos paseando el lote en busca de insectos", dijo Gustavo
inquieto, "Encontramos esta flor en el suelo. Creemos que es un mensaje para usted. Carmelita puede estar en
peligro."
The two cousins glanced at each other. “We were wandering the lot looking for insects,” Gustavo said uneasily,
“when we found this on the ground. We believe it is a message for you. We believe Carmelita is in danger.”
"Pero, ¿cómo sabes que esta flor no caiga en vuelo con Gerardo?" Fernando escupió amargamente.
“But how do you know this flower wasn't blown from her feathers on her way into the sky with Gerardo?” Fernando spat
bitterly.
"Debido a ese pájaro que ella llamaba Gerardo es el que reconocimos como Abelardo Pájaro-Napper !! Usted debe ir
después de su Carmelita! "Alejandro declaró con vehemencia.
“Because that bird who she called Gerardo is the one we recognized as Abelardo the Bird-Napper!! You must go after
your Carmelita!” Alejandro declared vehemently.
"¿No sabes que no puedo salir??" -preguntó un Fernando desconcertado. "Mi gente se dará cuenta de que no estoy aquí
una vez que regresen!"
“But how can I??” asked a bewildered Fernando. “I will be missed once my people return!”
“En este barrio?!" Gustavo preguntó:" ellos sólo
piensan fuiste tomado! Sucede todo el tiempo para
decoraciones del césped! "
In this neighborhood?!” Gustavo pointed out, “They'll
just think you were stolen! It happens all the time to
lawn decorations!”
"VE AHORA!" Primos de Fernando dijeron al unísono.
“NOW GO!” Fernando's cousins said together.
"Oramos para que nuestro Fernando regresa con
seguridad", Alejandro y Gustavo suspiró mientras
los dos vieron la huida.
“May our Fernando come back safely,” Alejandro
breathed as they watched their cousin fly off.
"¿Quieres comer tamales en el restaurante de
Rael?" Preguntó Gustavo.
"Estoy más en el ánimo de sus enchiladas", dijo
Alejandro.
“Wanna go for tamales at Rael's?” Gustavo asked.
“I'm more in the mood for his enchiladas,”
Alejandro replied.
Will we ever see Fernando again?
That remains to be seen.
But what's this? Another lawn ornament is coming out of his shell??
"Ik ben Stroopwafel. Kom mijn vrienden terug! Ik ben Stroopwafel! "
“I am Stroopwafel. Come back my friends! I am Stroopwafel!” the Dutch garden gnome called out.
Blinky(the scarecrow): * blink. . . blink-blink . . . blink *
The chicken remained silent. Perhaps it was just a concrete chicken sculpture after all.
The next morning as the sun rose, the Freshnfruitys were snuggled safely in their own beds, returned
home from the girls' house in Limbo-Land, when Fluticasone was disturbed from her restful slumber. . .
“Oof!” Fluticasone moaned, rubbing her belly, “Chili-dogs and marmalade really don't goooo together
at all!!” she heaved in nauseated waves.
“Okay” * snort * “I'll get the pancakes by next Tuesday,” Jessie mumbled and rolled back over.
“ACTUALLY,” Fluticasone corrected herself, “I think it might be TIME FOR THE BABY!”
At one point I'd swear the baby was checking Jessie out. I can't imagine why. ;-)
Just have a good look at where you're getting your genetics, kid!
“Um, doodle-buns, once you stop celebrating, what are we going to name our newest twins?” Jessie asked
hesitantly.
“I can name the baby and spin around too you know,” Fluticasone informed her husband huffily, “I'm
naming this one Earline, after a childhood friend of mine.”
“Well- how about Wilford for her brother here?” Jessie said, jostling the baby he was holding.
“It's a GIRL! Oh poopy-kins our first girl!” Fluticasone realized with amazement.
“It's a girl! It's a girl; it's a doctor!!” Fluticasone said joyfully as she danced around the room with
her new daughter.
“Poopy-kins?!” Jessie asked in his somewhat groggy, still-not-awake state.
Grandma Tootie came up to see what all the tromping around was about.
“Oh look, more grandchildren!” she exclaimed happily, “and a girl one too! What'd ya name her?”
“Earline,” Jessie said sighing wearily, “And this is your grandson Wilford.”
“What about Petunia-Jo, like I wanted?!” Tootie responded indignantly.
“AANNnnd Wilford! Wheee-doggie!” Skeeter yelled at the top of his lungs, “Wanna have a hollerin'
contest little brother??”
“Um, no.” Jessie said simply.
Unaccustomed to not getting his way, Skeeter goes off to school in a bit of a sour mood.
“Dang- ol' no-account, no-hollerin', stupid baby,” he grumbled as he descended the
stairs to the second floor.
Then Jessie had to be off to earn some simoleons.
Off to work there Jessie? Good.
Think you might've forgotten anything important?
No? Alrighty.
Fluticasone also went back to work.
Wait. She's going back?! The same day she had her twins??!
Guess there's no maternity leave for Space Pirates!
Annd that's where I leave you, guys and gals!Annd that's where I leave you, guys and gals!
Thanks for your patience during the wait for 8!(heh-heh, that rhymed)Thanks for your patience during the wait for 8!(heh-heh, that rhymed)
I'll catch you next time when Chapter 9 blows into town!

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Freshnfruity rebirth chapter 8 for lj

  • 1.
  • 2. To my childhood friend C.B. who was always reciting the spelling of her name. We were mavericks. Where you at, girl?
  • 3. We come into gloriously unfettered Chapter 8 with several things going on at once: At one end of the dining room/ kitchen level, Grandpa Loki has volunteered to take Elrod to the training-potty for the first time. . . . “Now stay put and do a tinkle and Grandpa will give you a whiskey,” Loki bribed his grandson.
  • 4. . . . . while out on the landing Fluticasone potty-trains Elrod's twin brother, Skeeter. “Come on, high five! No? Whadaya mean you can't do a high five?!” a scandalized Fluticasone scolded her son.
  • 5. Grandma Tootie wants to teach Skeeter to talk; it looks like she's missing work today to do it! “Say 'marshmallow-chair' junior,” Tootie instructed. “Wainbow in the sky!”Skeeter declared confidently. “Eh, close enough,” Tootie shrugged.
  • 6. “Bye Grandpa, off to worky-jerky with ya!” Jessie said, acknowledging Loki heading off to his job as an Education Minister. “Why doesn't she have to go?! No fair!” Loki grumbled in response, indicating his wife.
  • 7. While Skeeter's getting his learning on downstairs, Elrod is going down for a nap on the third floor. “Now if you make a poopy remember what I taught you; and here's the shovel from your sand-box, just in case.”
  • 8. Returning back to the dining room. . . “Gwamma!!” Skeeter cheered. “Yeah kid you got me, whadaya want?” Tootie responded. Holy cracker-jack, Skeeter can talk!
  • 9. That afternoon, Fluticasone and Jessie had The Talk. Yes, THE talk. “”What do you think about doing 2 more kids?” Fluticasone asked. “You wanna do what?!” Jessie asked, cocking his head at his wife. And so the discussion went.
  • 10. After a decision had been made, Fluticasone left the room, and Jessie had a good cry. I wonder what the verdict was? Oh well, we'll probably never know. Probably.
  • 11. Wakey-wakey adoring parents! It's a Potty-Training Minute with Jessie & Fluticasone, with special guests Elrod & Skeeter! Let there be complete silence as our guests need all their concentration to pull off their mind- bending performances. . . .
  • 12. The next morning Loki discovered belatedly that Tootie was still a loyal fan of Shu-Shu Braunschweiger's cooking show. I feel like I've been robbed! What is this gnarly concoction??” he demanded to know.
  • 13. “Don't judge your corn flakes with ranch dressing, just experience them honey, experience them!” Loki sat back in his chair and just stared at the woman he'd made 10 children with.
  • 14. UPDATE: Skeeter(not pictured) can now talk and is potty-trained. Elrod here, on the other hand, has not accomplished a daisy-licking thing. Grandpa Loki to the rescue! “Grandpa's going to slip you a secret drink, kiddo,” he whispered conspiratorially.
  • 15. And now of course, Skeeter's awake. Look into them buggy little blue eyes man. He knows!! I'd swear, he knows.
  • 16. And down in the kitchen is a toddler who is unaware that he's about to seriously play catch-up as he takes a biiiigg drink of this glowing green bottle.
  • 17. The first major milestone for Elrod is getting potty-trained! Thank yoooouu Grandpa! “You go kid,” Aiyana the maid said as she casually photo-bombed this special moment, smacking her gum.
  • 18. Next is working on that speech! “Say 'asparagus & cranberry snooters',” Loki prompted his grandson. “Ashpeaw-gus cwanbewwy- snootow!” Elrod repeated. “Why am I here again?” Nichole Thompson, the nanny, asked mostly to herself.
  • 19. While all of that was going on inside the house, Jessie came home with a promotion to Relic Liberator! “HELLOOO!! Promotion?!” Jessie called to his family. Sorry Jessie, they're kinda preoccupied. You see. . . .
  • 20. Skeeter has earned his first creativity skill point! Know any Queen songs, kid? Not only that . . .
  • 21. Elrod has now caught up to his brother by learning to talk! “So. . .ti-owd. . . gwam'pa!” Elrod declared in weary little grunts. “Oh that's nice, you can talk!” Grandpa Loki realized happily, “And the wallpaper's starting to peel away on that wall, do you see it Nichole?” He asked the nanny. “Yes sir; shall I take the baby now?” She replied.
  • 22. Meanwhile Skeeter got a break from his xylophone for dinner. . . “Ah,” he paused, tasting his baby-slop, “it tastes like. . . blueberry tart! AND a loaded baked potato!!” “It's spaghettios with squirrel-chunks, you'll eat it and like it!” A voice yelled from off camera.
  • 23. Up on the third floor, Jessie woke up to discover Tootie lounging on the bed next to him. How very awkward. “What-cher up to, Jessie-boy?” Tootie asked him, looking around the room. Jessie was stumped; this was his mother-in-law after all. Appropriately, Jessie kicked her elderly a* * out and resumed his siesta.
  • 24. Tootie decided that the play-room recliner was a better place for a snooze anyway. “I wanna ride the- ZZZzzzz. . . .” Tootie yawned in her sleep.
  • 25. What has been seen cannot be un-seen, eh Elrod? “POOPY!!” he replied proudly. Yes, poopy. Oh- you're doing that.
  • 26. There's only TWO DAYS left before Skeeter and Elrod grow into kids! “Time to learn to walk, little man!” Fluticasone cooed at her son. As it turns out, Mama wanted to teach Skeeter to walk while Papa Jessie wanted to teach Skeeter or Elrod or both. So they switched. . .
  • 27. . . . .and we had a little walking-party out on the deck! “Conga-conga- con-GA!” Jessie cheered at his wobbly little boy. “I think it's a little early for that yet dear,” Fluticasone replied with most of her attention on Skeeter. “Oh OKAY,” Jessie pouted.
  • 28. “WE FORGOT THE TORTILLA-CHIPS!!” Jessie wailed in one of his 'I'm not having any fun' hysterical melt-downs. So even though Elrod was halfway through learning to walk when Jessie got ahold of him, Skeeter still won the walking race. * sigh. Gawd da** you, Jessie. Maybe one of you readers can teach Elrod what's left of his walking?
  • 29. I always get a thrill out of watching a toddler walk for the first time, never mind that he's glowing like a kid over-loaded on gamma-rays. Gooooo Skeeter!!
  • 30. Since Miss Fluticasone hasn't really sat down since she got off work (doing all of Skeeter's walking-lesson and the first half of Elrod's) I thought she deserved a bubble-bath.
  • 31. While Jessie threw his fit down on the deck, Grandma Tootie came and put Elrod in his crib herself. “You done, Jessie??” She called from within the paper-thin walls. “Yes thanks!” He yelled back casually.
  • 32. After some SSSX3(game console) time and some food, Jessie and Elrod achieved their wants together! (Elrod's to walk, Jessie to teach him) SHEESH! Wait, wasn't there something Jessie was supposed to be doing?
  • 33. Ohhh yeah. WORK. Jessie is off to work late in the dude-mobile, ever the intrepid explorer! He looks so intrepid! And explorer-y! *girlishly squeals *
  • 34. Look who it is in a “sidewalk cameo”! Hello Ibuprofen! “Did I just see gold fillings in that maid's teeth?! Yowza that's hot!!” he exclaimed. “No you didn't, and go away; you're creepy,” Aiyana the maid retorted, hiding in her van.
  • 35. Well now! Not only did Jessie NOT get reprimanded for his lateness, but he got promoted! Jessie is now a Dread Pirate!! I can't wait to see him in that get-up! What a fearsome pirate he will be. :-) Meanwhile, upstairs in the dining area. . .
  • 36. “Yeah,” Fluticasone laughed, “and they weren't even our shoes!” “So how's business for Jessie lately?” Loki asked his daughter.
  • 37. “I'm getting worried,” Fluticasone replied, “he's been Relic Liberator for like, a really long time. Don't they see his potential?” “It's all over his face,” Loki replied, “I mean how can they miss it?”
  • 38. The boys have each learned to walk, talk, and have been potty-trained. They each have 2 skill-points of logic, creativity, and charisma. It's 2:10 a.m. on a saturday(game-time). Let's have some birthday parties!!
  • 39. First up (because he IS up) is Elrod! “Swing yo' partner, do-si-do!” Jessie cheered happily, as he and Fluticasone rattled and honked the noise-makers around. “Who now? What now??” Tootie stared around vaguely, “I need to go to the Floor-Mart!”
  • 40. “Yaaay! Good lungs!” Grandpa Loki cheered as his grandson blew out his own candles. Here comes grow-up time!
  • 41. Elrod is now a child! For whatever reason I didn't note his aspiration level earned as a toddler, but just one look at that pretty face, and everything is just fine. . . Oh! Somebody needs to go get Skeeter! “I'll go get 'em if the boys can take grandma to get her taco shells!” Tootie said loudly from off-screen. “THEY CAIN'T DRIVE YET, GRANDMA!” Loki yelled at his wife.
  • 42. “Daddy's mole is not a tether-ball, kiddo,” Jessie lectured the toddler out of the side of his mouth, wincing as the mole was batted to and fro. THERE'S that shiny-headed birthday-twin!
  • 43. Skeeter laughed delightedly as Jessie blew out the candles for his son. The lazy little layabout! Bet he doesn't have to do anything for himself as he gets older!
  • 44. Skeeter's now a child! As a toddler he earned the aspiration level of Precocious Preschooler. How marvelous it must be to instantly sprout a full head of hair like that. . So stylishly coifed and greased, it can only be butter-cream! 'Yes Butter-cream, for that baby's-bottom- slick, matte-like finish on any troublesome head of hair!' *ahem, carrying on . . .
  • 45. YAARR! My oh my Jessie, aren't we lookin' smexy today? Yep, Jessie's off to be a pirate; A DREAD PIRATE!
  • 46. The newly- grown children settled in the living room on this fine Saturday to brush up on things like cooking and mechanical skill-points. But Elrod, as intent as he was on starting on his vital life-skill set, was distracted by a strange book just lying around on the floor. “Hey Skeeter! Come look at this funny book! It has pictures! And it's OLD!” Elrod whispered excitedly. “Leave me alone, Elrod! I'm trying to learn to make pasta primavera,” Skeeter waved him away.
  • 47.
  • 48. A handful of significant pages later, Elrod seems to have forgotten his original purpose in the room. . . . “This book is weird, mama! I'm gonna go watch Jacko n' Effie!” “Sure, kiddo! But be quiet! You almost made me mess up Mr. Bunnykins's mouse-friend!” “Okay!”
  • 49. Out in the driveway, señor Jessie has arrived home with a promotion to War-Head Disarmer! Been disarming stink-bombs today fella?
  • 50. That evening our young lovebirds bide their time with a chess game, waiting until their next offspring arrives. “Unga-bunga chess make baby come faster?” Fluticasone grunted, somehow reverting to a cave-sim for the moment. 'Must not look at cleavage!!' Jessie thought, averting his eyes from his wife's swollen pregnancy-body in an attempt at politeness.
  • 51. About 3 a.m. Jessie, ever the considerate husband, brought a tasty spaghetti snack up to the third- floor playroom for his ravenous wife. “La la la-la, mangy goat-meatballs; la la la-la, pig's blood marinaraaa!” Fluticasone sang merrily as she then carried her plate back down to the dining room. Of course Jessie's smart enough to know that if he hadn't brought food, he might have been mauled in his sleep.
  • 52. Yep, a pregnant lady is walking downstairs at 3 a.m., with a plateful of food. Oh, and did I mention she's walking a fine line between starving and passing out? Yep, it's all perfectly normal 'round here . . .
  • 53. The next day, Grandma Tootifer got an itch to travel, as elder sims very often do. “It's decided! We're all going on a visit to Limbo-Land to have a nice chat with all of my children, who've been polite enough to step out and let Fluticasone take over the story!”
  • 54. Fernando the lawn flamingo listened silently but intently to a certain conversation as Grandma Tootie and Fluticasone made their way out to the car: “We're going in one big trip?!” Fluticasone exclaimed, “Won't that take up a lot of slides in our life- story? Won't it take like, a forever-long time??” “It won't be so bad if we visit a house at a time, darling chunky-buns,” the wise Tootie replied soothingly. “Oh, very well, “ Fluticasone replied with a sigh, “when do we leave?” The two women went on their way, still chatting, but the wheels in Fernando's head began turning. . . .
  • 55. After the Freshnfruitys left on their quest to visit family, we found Aiyana the maid ranting in a stereotypical British accent: “They leave on that trip of theirs and it's 'Clean the house' the missus says, 'Bring in the papers' the old people say, but ain't nobody said nothin' about bringing no felly-tone out to no bleeding plastic lawn flamingo! 'poner el teléfono en el patio delantero' 'e says! I don't even know who 'e is and I has to bleeding translate it but I does it all the same! I swear I'll never live this down if word gets out; next I'll be bringing tea for the gnome and corn for the chicken! Rant, rant, ramble, ramble. . .” Fernando breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the maid re-entered the house. It was time for a reunion, and while they might not know who to blame the phone bill on, they'd never think of him! The party was on! Now how was he going to reach the phone? Let's see what's happening with the rest of the Freshnfruitys. . .
  • 56. Pescado Park The Community Pool Fantasy Castle Restaurant Limbo-Schmimbo Shopping Center You'll have 4 mystical, magical, wond'rous sights to see . . . .in Limbo Land!
  • 58. The family stepped out of the car and marveled at the fancy digs in which the not- winning girls(from the heir poll days)had been forced to set up house in Limbo-Land. “Gee, it's really too bad none of them won and got to live in a stack of tacky, outdated trailers,” Fluticasone commented from behind the camera. “Let's go on inside gang,” Loki urged them, “ The girls are out but they said they'd meet us for dinner later and we're welcome to look around.”
  • 59. They stepped into the quietly temperature- controlled living room, which still smelled of fresh paint and newly-cut wood. “Gosh,” Tootie gasped in her manly-falsetto-voice, “No sour shag carpeting, no rackety-clackety wall- unit a.c. on its last leg- tell me why we're still living in that pile of shh. . . shoe-horns??” “It's all that crazy fairy business, remember Bunny- Smooches? Nobody seems to be quite sure how it all happened,” Loki reminded her, “ But we should just be grateful that we're taken care of, and our other children haven't been neglected.”
  • 60. To the left of the central living area, there was a simple bedroom and bathroom, equipped with quality furnishings. The beds had been upgraded since the move, but the striped armchairs were still there as a memento from the Limbo-house in Strangetown.
  • 61. Past the couches, on the other side of the bedroom wall, was a small kitchen. With a house like this, a good kitchen is nice but there wouldn't be much time spent here as the goings-on would be elsewhere.
  • 62. The dining area, however, looked like it would be a lovely place to gather that evening, with a lovely view of the back yard and lots of sunshine during the day.
  • 63. Speaking of the back yard, they couldn't resist the urge to stop there before going upstairs. There was a little bit of a garden, and the bubble-blower and golf-putters looked like they might keep a party going most of the night!
  • 64. Going back to the living room, they felt as though they had missed something but- “Hey wait, what is that room on the right?” and “Where do those stairs go?” they asked each other. They decided to investigate the upstairs part of the house.
  • 65. The upstairs turned out to be dedicated mostly to skill-building and entertainment. One balcony, just off to the right of the stairs, held a pinball machine. A second balcony held a drum set! The area where the piano was kept seemed to be designed so that people standing in the ground-floor entryway would be able to look up and enjoy the music. Workout room Piano Energizer ← to balcony to 2nd ^ balcony (drum-set)
  • 66. Having seen what was upstairs, they came back down and found a second t.v. room, with an arcade game and a painting easel. There was also a third bathroom, because this house was originally designed to hold more than five people.
  • 67. They turned back towards the door and found that across the hall from the bathroom there was another bedroom. . .
  • 68. And similarly, down at the other end of the hallway,(nearer to the first bedroom they saw) was a third bedroom! With all three bedrooms having double beds, that meant one lucky girl had a room to herself. :-)
  • 69. The girls all arrived back at home and Hydrocodone came out to greet the family. “Hey cool, you made it!” She exclaimed happily. “Should we not have?” Grandma Tootie asked hesitantly, looking over the house again. “Should I not be going inside after all?” Fluticasone asked from the sidewalk. Meanwhile, back at Trailer Towers. . .
  • 70. “Ah sí, es mi familia. Ellos están llegando!” Ah yes, it's my family. They are coming!
  • 71. ¡Oh, no! Esto podría ser un problema. Oh, no! This could be a problem.
  • 72. *squawk! “Mi primo Gustavo! Mi primo Alejandro! ¿Cómo están sus familias?” “My cousin Gustavo! My cousin Alejandro! How are your families?” Fernando said joyfully. “Mis hijos, poco Renaldo e Hidalgo tienen todas las niñas persiguiendo a ellos en la escuela y pidiendo besos!” “My children, little Renaldo and Hidalgo have all the girls chasing them at school and asking (for) kisses,” said Gustavo proudly. Alejandro, in his fine top hat, stuck his plastic chest out as he spoke: “Mi bella Josefina está a punto de darme nuestro cuarto par de gemelos!” “My beautiful Josefina is about to give me our fourth pair of twins!” “Eso es bueno, Alejandro! Pero ¿dónde está mi Carmelita? ¿Dónde está mi corazón?” “That's good, Alejandro!”Fernando grinned somehow, “But where is my Carmelita? Where is my heart?” We return to the girls' house in Limbo-Land as the Flamingo family drama continues on the home-lot. .
  • 73. An hour of hanging out on the front porch later. . . “Okay! Everything's all right again! We got food cooking too!” Oxycodone said happily as she ushered them through the front door. “Move it sister! Pregnant lady! Coming through!” Fluticasone barked as she barged through the doorway. “What a pretty house,” Tootie said simply, and Loki nodded in agreement. It's 9:00! Time for dinner, with surprise chef,(and Oxycodone's fiance) Gerard Landry!
  • 74. Way to go Cap'n Hero! Dinner's really cooked now! So much for that tasty mac n' cheese. . .
  • 75. *Sigh, I guess that means we'll just have the lobster! “Oh gosh! What is it like to actually punch a clock?” Oxycodone asked, “Do you remember, Pink Bismuth?” “I dunno,” Pink shrugged. “Maybe it's like. . . marshmallow-clouds. . . and rainbow unicorns,” Hydrocodone said dreamily. “What about you, boy?” Tootie asked the guy that Gerard brought to dinner, “You're both Cap'n Hero, what's it like punching in with the likes of the Llama Queen?” “Uhh Gerard, I think I'm gonna go; I was not expecting this!”
  • 76. Then Omeprazole came home from her Rock-Star job. “What's up you guys? Oh yeah! The dinner thing!” she exclaimed. “There's our girl!” Loki greeted her. “Hey Omeprazole has a clock-punching job! Right , sis? Don't you do that?” Pink Bismuth exclaimed. “Not really- no,” Omeprazole responded. “EEW! Pregnant lady smells all FISHY!” Gerard said from next to Fluticasone. “It's the lobster dude. Remember the lobster?” she sighed.
  • 77. After dinner the party broke off into various parts of the house. Fluticasone took the opportunity to entertain her sister Pink Bismuth, as well as her dinner-buddy Gerard on the piano upstairs. “Tinkle-tinky-doo! Tinkle-tinky-dee!” Gerard sang and clapped to the merry music. Pink Bismuth simply burst out laughing; “It's 'Here we go Looby-Loo' you doofus,” she managed to gasp through her laughter.
  • 78. Meanwhile, down in the back yard, Hydrocodone taught her parents the ropes on the bubble-blowing machine. “I'm flying J- I mean Loki!” Tootie called out joyfully. Meanwhile, back at the Trailer Towers, the Flamingo Family Reunion continues. . . .
  • 79. “Eso es bueno, Alejandro! Pero ¿dónde está mi Carmelita? ¿Dónde está mi corazón?” “That's good, Alejandro!”Fernando grinned somehow, “But where is my Carmelita? Where is my heart?” “Yo estoy aquí, mi Fernando.” “I am here, my Fernando,” Carmelita announced as she elegantly strolled onto the scene. “Pero, ¿quién es este? ¿Ha traído su hermano Vicente como acompañante?” “But who is this? Have you brought your brother Vicente as a chaperone?” Fernando asked with a furrowed brow. "¡Ay no; este es mi novio Gerardo, y estamos en nuestro camino a Costa Rica para casarse. " “Alas no; this is my fiance Gerardo, and we are on our way to Costa Rica to be married,” Carmelita said regretfully.
  • 80. "¿Pero por qué, Carmelita??" “But why, Carmelita??” Fernando begged, heartbroken and thunder-struck, as he approached her. "Sí, ya sé que es una lástima Fernando; estuvimos separados durante demasiado largo, por qué no podían tu gente comprar dos? Yo hice esta pregunta todos los días durante un largo tiempo." “Yes, I know it is unfortunate Fernando; we were apart so long- why could your people not buy both of us?” Carmelita lamented, “I asked myself this question every day for a long time.”
  • 81. "Pero entonces Gerardo llegó a mi vida. Traté muy difícil resistirse, pero él siempre me estaba felicitando-” “But then Gerardo came into my life. I tried very hard to resist his efforts to charm me, but he was always complimenting me, he-” Carmelita was interrupted by a sudden, passionate outburst from Gerardo. "Yo era muy amigo de sus piernas bien torneadas, su delicado pico, la forma en que ella se quedó muy todavía-" “I was so very fond of her shapely legs, her delicate beak, her quiet way of standing-” she stopped Gerardo before he could embarrass himself further. "Shush, querida", dijo Carmelita a su prometido, luego se vuelve de nuevo a Fernando, "Estamos en una prisa para llegar a Costa Rica. Tal vez usted se una a nosotros un día a lo largo de las orillas del Río Celeste". “Shush, darling,” Carmelita said to her fiance, then turned back to Fernando, “As you can see we are anxious to reach Costa Rica. Maybe you will join us one day by the banks of the Rio Celeste.” And with that the couple flew off into the horizon.
  • 82. Carmelita's announcement and sudden departure had by then drawn a crowd, and as Fernando reacted to the whole tawdry scene, his relatives were beginning to gather to give their support. Carmelita! No es tan !! Qué puedo hacer ?? Ninguna mujer es como ella en todo el mundo! "Él gritó al cielo. Carmelita! Nooo!! Whatever shall I do?? There is no other like her in all of the world!” he wept to the sky. "Ese vagabundo!", exclamó la tía Consuela. * squawk! * “That hussy!” huffed his Aunt Consuela. "Ella no tiene ninguna vergüenza ?!" Stephano el Bisabuelo estaba indignado. * squawk! * “Has she no shame?!” demanded his indignant Great Grandfather Stephano. * squawk! squawk! * the rest of the family called after the couple, shouting various challenges and curses as the two flew away.
  • 83. The crowd parted, and an elderly lawn flamingo approached Fernando then. He was rickety and fragile; his leg-posts were corroded and rusting, and he could barely flap his plastic wing-shapes. Fernando never thought he'd see Baldomero the Elder on his people's lawn in his life. “Ay caramba, es Baldomero! ¿Qué está diciendo a usted Fernando?” “Oh gosh, it's Baldomero! What does he say, Fernando?” cousin Gustavo asked eagerly. "Cállate, no ha dicho nada todavía idiota!" “Be quiet, he hasn't said it yet you fool!” Fernando shushed Gustavo. The creaky old lawn ornament slowly, agonizingly opened his beak as if he had not squawked in a long time. "Sí, Baldomero?" “Yes, Baldomero?” Fernando asked hesitantly, cocking his head to one side. "Boy", Baldomero jadeó, "Cuando vine a esta reunión pensé que teníamos intención de p- partido", espetó. "¿Podemos ahora seguir adelante con ella?" “Boy,” Baldomero gasped, “When I was brought to this reunion I thought we intended to p- party,” he spat. “Now can we get on with it?!”
  • 84. "Aiyana querida, estamos teniendo una reunión, haga el favor de traer algunas fuentes del partido al patio delantero? “Aiyana my dear, we're having a reunion; please bring out some party supplies will you?” Fernando asked the maid politely. “Oh boy there he goes again,” the maid went off ranting for a second time, “Oi- wait a minute! So you're the one 'oo's been leaving them felly-tone messages?? Hoo boy, I've cracked me 'ead haven't I? There's mustachioed ones! And that little bearded one by George! I suppose the ones in skirts is girl ones then?” Aiyana cackled, looking around and shaking her head. Feel like bleedin' Alice in Wonderland I do, but by gory I'm doin' what the plastic birdie says, regardless whether it makes any sense or not! You want cake too, do ya birdie?? Phh! Patio delantero 'e says! *rant, rant, ramble, ramble . . .”
  • 85. A few hours of setup and food-prep later . . . Hoo, boy! When I'm settin' up a big to-do for lawn ornaments that's when I calls it a day! No more scrubby-scrubby today for Miss Dallas, noooo mum! I'll go home and pour me tea and not think about flamingos, no flamingos and no pink things neither for a few days or Miss Aiyana will go stark- bonkers she will! Oh crackers that's about all a girl can handle, * rant, rant, barking laugh . . .” Let's see how the party's going shall we?
  • 86. Well! Despite putting her on the brink of madness, I'd say the maid did pretty well! They have salsa music, burgers and hot dogs, balloons, and they really seem to be going to town on the fruit punch. It's getting a little wild in there though; best to just stay back and observe. :-) Is there such a thing as too much fruit punch?
  • 87. Apparently you can have too much fruit punch! A lot of the family(the respectable family) has flown on home, but quite a few are either starting to stir and stagger around in the yard or are still asleep. A stray dog is even investigating the wreckage! How are you today, Aiyana? * grumble, grumble, mutter. . .
  • 88. That evening, Fernando once again had the front yard all to himself. He breathed a great heaving sigh into the vast quiet, still reeling in his little, plastic, birdie-heart from the idea that Carmelita had moved on.
  • 89. But then, just as he was sadly resigned to sleep, two familiar flamingos wandered over. “Usted pensó que se quedaron solos en una noche como esta?” “Did you think we would leave you alone on such a night?” Alejandro asked. * AWK! * Fernando comenzó, sacudiendo despierto. * AWK! * Fernando started, snapping awake. "La familia no abandona a uno de los suyos en su hora de necesidad.", Agregó Gustavo. “Family does not abandon one of their own in their hour of need.” Gustavo added.
  • 90. "¿Qué quieres decir con" mi hora de necesidad "? ", preguntó Fernando, "Es mi tristeza te refieres?" “What do you mean 'my hour of need'?” Fernando asked Gustavo, “is it my sadness you respond to?” Los dos primos se miraron el uno al otro. "Estábamos paseando el lote en busca de insectos", dijo Gustavo inquieto, "Encontramos esta flor en el suelo. Creemos que es un mensaje para usted. Carmelita puede estar en peligro." The two cousins glanced at each other. “We were wandering the lot looking for insects,” Gustavo said uneasily, “when we found this on the ground. We believe it is a message for you. We believe Carmelita is in danger.”
  • 91. "Pero, ¿cómo sabes que esta flor no caiga en vuelo con Gerardo?" Fernando escupió amargamente. “But how do you know this flower wasn't blown from her feathers on her way into the sky with Gerardo?” Fernando spat bitterly. "Debido a ese pájaro que ella llamaba Gerardo es el que reconocimos como Abelardo Pájaro-Napper !! Usted debe ir después de su Carmelita! "Alejandro declaró con vehemencia. “Because that bird who she called Gerardo is the one we recognized as Abelardo the Bird-Napper!! You must go after your Carmelita!” Alejandro declared vehemently. "¿No sabes que no puedo salir??" -preguntó un Fernando desconcertado. "Mi gente se dará cuenta de que no estoy aquí una vez que regresen!" “But how can I??” asked a bewildered Fernando. “I will be missed once my people return!”
  • 92. “En este barrio?!" Gustavo preguntó:" ellos sólo piensan fuiste tomado! Sucede todo el tiempo para decoraciones del césped! " In this neighborhood?!” Gustavo pointed out, “They'll just think you were stolen! It happens all the time to lawn decorations!” "VE AHORA!" Primos de Fernando dijeron al unísono. “NOW GO!” Fernando's cousins said together. "Oramos para que nuestro Fernando regresa con seguridad", Alejandro y Gustavo suspiró mientras los dos vieron la huida. “May our Fernando come back safely,” Alejandro breathed as they watched their cousin fly off. "¿Quieres comer tamales en el restaurante de Rael?" Preguntó Gustavo. "Estoy más en el ánimo de sus enchiladas", dijo Alejandro. “Wanna go for tamales at Rael's?” Gustavo asked. “I'm more in the mood for his enchiladas,” Alejandro replied. Will we ever see Fernando again? That remains to be seen.
  • 93. But what's this? Another lawn ornament is coming out of his shell?? "Ik ben Stroopwafel. Kom mijn vrienden terug! Ik ben Stroopwafel! " “I am Stroopwafel. Come back my friends! I am Stroopwafel!” the Dutch garden gnome called out. Blinky(the scarecrow): * blink. . . blink-blink . . . blink * The chicken remained silent. Perhaps it was just a concrete chicken sculpture after all.
  • 94. The next morning as the sun rose, the Freshnfruitys were snuggled safely in their own beds, returned home from the girls' house in Limbo-Land, when Fluticasone was disturbed from her restful slumber. . . “Oof!” Fluticasone moaned, rubbing her belly, “Chili-dogs and marmalade really don't goooo together at all!!” she heaved in nauseated waves. “Okay” * snort * “I'll get the pancakes by next Tuesday,” Jessie mumbled and rolled back over. “ACTUALLY,” Fluticasone corrected herself, “I think it might be TIME FOR THE BABY!”
  • 95. At one point I'd swear the baby was checking Jessie out. I can't imagine why. ;-) Just have a good look at where you're getting your genetics, kid! “Um, doodle-buns, once you stop celebrating, what are we going to name our newest twins?” Jessie asked hesitantly. “I can name the baby and spin around too you know,” Fluticasone informed her husband huffily, “I'm naming this one Earline, after a childhood friend of mine.” “Well- how about Wilford for her brother here?” Jessie said, jostling the baby he was holding.
  • 96. “It's a GIRL! Oh poopy-kins our first girl!” Fluticasone realized with amazement. “It's a girl! It's a girl; it's a doctor!!” Fluticasone said joyfully as she danced around the room with her new daughter. “Poopy-kins?!” Jessie asked in his somewhat groggy, still-not-awake state.
  • 97. Grandma Tootie came up to see what all the tromping around was about. “Oh look, more grandchildren!” she exclaimed happily, “and a girl one too! What'd ya name her?” “Earline,” Jessie said sighing wearily, “And this is your grandson Wilford.” “What about Petunia-Jo, like I wanted?!” Tootie responded indignantly. “AANNnnd Wilford! Wheee-doggie!” Skeeter yelled at the top of his lungs, “Wanna have a hollerin' contest little brother??” “Um, no.” Jessie said simply.
  • 98. Unaccustomed to not getting his way, Skeeter goes off to school in a bit of a sour mood. “Dang- ol' no-account, no-hollerin', stupid baby,” he grumbled as he descended the stairs to the second floor.
  • 99. Then Jessie had to be off to earn some simoleons. Off to work there Jessie? Good. Think you might've forgotten anything important? No? Alrighty.
  • 100. Fluticasone also went back to work. Wait. She's going back?! The same day she had her twins??! Guess there's no maternity leave for Space Pirates! Annd that's where I leave you, guys and gals!Annd that's where I leave you, guys and gals! Thanks for your patience during the wait for 8!(heh-heh, that rhymed)Thanks for your patience during the wait for 8!(heh-heh, that rhymed) I'll catch you next time when Chapter 9 blows into town!