Happy, fulfilling long term relationships


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Redditors in happy, fulfilling long-term relationships: What are some things we can do to improve our relationships?

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Happy, fulfilling long term relationships

  1. 1. Things to do to improve your relationship
  2. 2. Don't take your relationship for granted: ● it can be taken away from you at any time, ● cherish your partner and the time you have together and make the best of every day you have together, ● don't let yourself become complacent, ● realize that your partner being with you is a choice they make every day, ● appreciate that they've chosen to share their time/life with you.
  3. 3. Maintain yourself like you are single: ● don't let yourself get lazy about your appearance or your objectives in life, ● people who get lazy tend to not feel good about themselves, thereby causing problems in the relationship (jealousy and insecurity), ● you need separate hobbies and interests,
  4. 4. ● don't let your relationship become your whole entire world - maintain your friendships as you normally would, you never know what could happen, ● give your partner some free time, ● you want to continue to be the person your partner fell in love with,
  5. 5. Every evening go for a walk in the neighborhood: ● hold hands, ● pay attention to each other, ● leave phones at home, ● appreciate what you observe, ● buy a dog, ● if it's raining find another activity or use an umbrella :)
  6. 6. Follow these rules: 1. You don't have to always be right. 2. If you do the small things that make her/him happy then you'll be happy. 3. Don't hold things in. 4. Put yourself in your SO's shoes and it becomes much easier to find compromise. Note: These all require equal participation. ● take a communication class, read Fighting for Your Marriage (or
  7. 7. 5. Be quick to forgive and truly forget. 6. Drama is not romantic. 7. Find someone who is easy to be with. Make yourself that someone for them. 8. Being able to laugh together trumps how hot they are in the sack over the long run. Looks fade, humor never will. 9. Don't look for the person who "completes" you. Be complete yourself. Then find the person who understands you and will give you room to grow.
  8. 8. Remember: ● your partner is supposed to be your favorite person in the world. Treat them like that when you speak, even when angry, ● be willing to give 100% and expect 0%, but trust the other to do the same, ● true love isn't what you can do to keep your own temporal emotion riding high - it's a daily commitment to make the other person the best person they can be at the sacrifice of yourself,
  9. 9. ● after so many years together, you'll eventually do something stupid. If its not relationship breaking, let it go. Its not worth holding onto that baggage, ● don't lie, be honest, if you feel like you have to lie in your relationship and you can't be open about things, then what is the point? ● don't put the other person in a situation that you wouldn't want to be put in - treat others how you would want to be treated, ● learn to understand when words are useless. Sometimes he/she just want you not to try anything, not to talk and ask for explanations,
  10. 10. ● do what you did in the beginning of the relationship, and there won't be an end, ● kiss and hug more often ● give yourselves compliments, ● surprise your partner - sneak a cute note into their lunch, randomly flip them over and give them a massage or go to the store and buy them their favourite treat, ● be opened about your sexual needs, ● ask your partner if she/he is happy, frequently ● don't compare your relationship to anyone else's - especially your past ones,
  11. 11. ● be physically affectionate - sex is one of the great pleasures in life and it keeps you connected, ● get one night a week to get away from your kids (a date) or your kids and each other, ● do not tally up who loves the most and just love completely - every affection is different and we express love differently, ● assume nothing - you aren't in a predetermined fairy tale, nothing is set in stone. Don't assume your relationship is going to form the way relationships "usually" do,
  12. 12. ● always try new things - say yes to do something when you would normally say no, ● if the relationship changes then grow, learn, and change with it, ● value your partner’s priorities - that doesn't mean you always agree with them, but try to understand what they value and try to work with it, ● enjoy yourself and let loose. Just be yourself. It's great to be silly and completely open with someone, ● never try to force commitment before both of you are committed without really trying to be,
  13. 13. ● divorce is not an option - when both of you agree that this is a life long thing you have to work together to to make it an amazing experience, ● while it's important to be flexible about your expectations of a relationship given the other person's capabilities, it is also OK to have your own needs and ask that person to reach those goals, ● don't compare your SO/spouse to somebody else's and just because another person's SO/spouse did something, don't assume that yours will,
  14. 14. ● never make fun of them - teasing them is okay, but never make fun of them, ● if you're not sure what your partner wants, ask. ● understand that you are two entirely different people and you won't see eye to eye on everything ● for the women: Always compliment him whenever he does anything to help you out, ● for both: Never, ever lie to one another about financial matters. It is hard to do, but when fighting try not to bring up stuff that happened five years ago,
  15. 15. ● for men: Compliment her about how she looks and how she makes everyone feel. Pinch her butt. Hold hands with her. Set aside some time every day to listen to her. Tell her over and over how lucky you are to have snagged her, ● have a sense of humor about each other, ● try to make their day a little easier when possible, ● never make fun of them - teasing them is okay, but never make fun of them,
  16. 16. ● they've heard "I love you" a thousand times, try something else: "You are special" - "You are the best" - "You amaze me"- "You mean the world to me" etc, ● look for the best qualities in your partner and celebrate those rather than hammering on the negatives, ● keep a positive attitude since positive vibes appear contagious,
  17. 17. ● give the love you wish to receive. If you want back rubs, you have to give them out too, ● stop being selfish, ● celebrate accomplishments together and push each other to become better people, ● recognize when a relationship is bad. If it's going nowhere, if someone is abusive, if your life goals don't match and one of you will always be unhappy, get out.
  18. 18. ● don't watch porn :) ● don't be afraid of talking about the limits of monogamy - discuss the moments when one or both of you feel drawn toward sex or intimacy with other people, ● your happiness is your responsibility, not theirs, ● pick a random day every month and treat that day like valentines day, ● find someone who wants you to become the person you want to be, and you should want them to be who they dream to become, ● don't be afraid of anything,
  19. 19. ● keep your toenails trimmed, ● make them breakfast or a snack, ● have a silly tradition, ● make time for each other, ● you will never change the other person but changing yourself is easy, ● you must have similar long term goals, meaning that you should want the same things out of life, ● you have to like each other :)
  20. 20. ● try and stay out of money trouble, ● when words fail, a hug will do, ● if you are not a stable human being, it's never gonna happen, ● take 5lovelanguages.com test. Have your partner take it too, ● eat meals together with no interference, ● give full attention when communicating, ● remind yourself every so often how and why you fell in love with them in the first place,
  21. 21. ● do not swear in front of each other, ● be with the right person, and everything else will come naturally, ● never criticize, ● never belittle feelings, ● the first thing to work out is whether or not you are committed. A commitment means you stop looking for someone better, or comparing your partner to others. You also must be willing to work things out, and consider leaving to be a last resort,
  22. 22. ● deal with it or LEAVE. ● respect their strengths and support their weaknesses, ● always try to impress your SO like you would a first date, ● don't get hung up on the past - whether it's your past with this person or with other people, let it go,
  23. 23. Thank for little things: ● everyone likes feeling appreciated, ● show/speak gratitude! Saying you are grateful for something, whether it was a simple task or if it was their chore, say thank you! ● studies show that expressing gratitude increases happiness :) ● and if you are getting yourself something get your partner something as well.
  24. 24. Argue often, but don't fight: ● if something small is bugging you sleep on it, and if you still think it's a big deal in the morning, bring it up when you're feeling rested, ● don't wake up angry - roll over, give a hug, and proceed calmly. ● pick your battles, ● don't ever threaten to dump your partner, ● if a fight breaks out give each other space - it is better to be separated then to say something you don't mean,
  25. 25. ● don’t fear to argue, from time to time it’s healthy for your relationship, ● if you and your partner can argue through something, without the argument becoming an actual fight, you learn a lot about the person, ● it teaches the two of you how to rationally work through any disputes or problems, ● don’t corner your partner when working through something with: "You always..." "You never....." - use "I do not like when you...." or "I would like you to consider..."
  26. 26. ● remember that your spouse is your teammate, not your opposition, ● never raise your voice at one another, ● take each other seriously - don't just write off their concerns as "stupid”, ● stand up for yourself if it’s necessary - don’t be a victim, ● don't keep score, if you are keeping score in your relationship you have already lost,
  27. 27. ● when things get tough, always assume incompetence rather than malice - if she/he did something to upset you, you're allowed to be upset... but if they didn't mean it then believe them and try to move on, ● unkind thoughts you may have, leave them unsaid. They cannot be unheard. ● be patient with one another, ● either put your partner on a pedestal or sugarcoat who you are, ● don't bitch to others about your relationship problems, especially in front of your partner,
  28. 28. ● set boundaries - you want to make this person happy, but you want to be happy too. Do not let the other person step all over you, but do learn to compromise. And stick to it! ● don't let your pride keep you from saying you're sorry, or even seeing that you were in the wrong, ● communicate, and ● NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE BEST FRIENDS.
  29. 29. Advices from: Redditors in happy, fulfilling long-term relationships: What are some things we can do to improve our relationships? Reddit.com Made by: Melololon 2014 Good luck! :)