An article about addiction to other people. Written in 2005.

1. Addicted to people
November 19, 2005
For Clue Magazine
By Alexander Abimanyu
.. I try to say goodbye and I choked, I try to walk away and I stumble,
though I try to hide it, it's clear, my world crumbles when you're not near ..
(I Try - Macy Gray)
Few days ago, a friend of mine asked me asked me about 'addiction'. He seems to be addicted to
someone and trying to get away from it. Probably the lyrics above sums up his feeling.
You know, sometimes I do have trouble on letting go too. They say if you love someone, set them free. I
may set them free but somehow I kept hunting them back :D
If you love someone, do you dare to let them go? Do you WANT to let them go? I don't think so.. The
thoughts of that person, your memories about both of you will keep haunting you everyday, everytime,
everywhere. How can you live with this? I guess you have to try to cope with it. Is addiction good or bad?
The difference's just as thin as a hair. What can I do to stop it? Do i even want to stop it? These
questions humming in my ears all the time..
Figure this, say you have an intense relationship with someone who's really really 'perfect' in your
sense.. You loved each other, you're extremely close, you understand each other without even have to
say anything. You already have that bond that sometimes other people can't find it. But, a big BUT, in
the end, you know that you can't be with them for an obvious, unavoidable, just cause. What would you
do? If you can figure something that's effective and equally painless to do so, let me know..
A suggestion from a friend of mine is to find a new partner. Thus my mind will be diverted to this new
human being. I will be captivated with their personalities, new stories, new stuff to talk about and bla bla
bla.. Another suggestion is to cut all forms of communication. Forget that person completely, don't
see/hear/speak with them. This is somehow proven to be the most difficult way yet the most effective.
Anyway, when you feel that you're addicted and can't let go of someone you suppose to let go,
remember these:
1. You CAN live without them (probably even better living, rather than spending your days mourning)
2. Love is not enough, it's NEVER enough
3. Love should make you and your partner feel better, not worse
4. Guilt is not a reason to stay in a relationship
5. Jealousy does not translate as love (as some people suggest it)
6. WYSIWYG .. what you see is what you get. You can't change it
7. You can't always work it out, no matter how much you want it to (Remember St Francis prayer: God,
grant me strength to accept those things I can't change)
8. Love doesn't necessarily have to last forever (right? or no?)
9. Some people die of bad relationship and that's a fact. Do you want to be one of them? I don't think
you do.
10. If you end one bad relationship, you will open yourself to new possibilities.
11. Never too late to leave, the longer you wait, the more time you wasted.
12. The pain of ending a relationship won't last forever, in fact the pain will last longer if you don't end it.
13. Ask yourself this question: is it still gonna be like this in the next 5-10 years? if the answer is yes,
would you want it?
Enough, i guess.. trust me.. if you end one relationship, you won't be alone forever..
For you out there who are addicted to someone, try those things above.. and please let me know
whether it's workin or not.. put it in the comment box or email me..
thanks..