Considering a relationship? Dating? Online dating? Read this to prepare yourself for the magic but often stressful world of dating.

1. The Do’s and Don’ts of
Dating
A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE WITH PRACTICAL ADVICE & COMMENTARY

2. Before the date
 Know what you’re looking for. But don’t be superficial.
 Don't marry for looks, position, excitement or money. "Marry someone who likes to
show kindness to others. Who is hospitable.“
 Check if they’re agreeable. For example, if you love tennis, they don’t have to love
tennis but they will have to let you play it at least once a week.
 Laughing and joking around is important. You can do this on the date. Dating should
be fun!
 You can plan some questions beforehand if you like. Perhaps rehearse some answers
too. Mental rehearsal can often help to relieve some of the stress of the date, which
can feel like an interview.

3. Before the date cont.
 If you’re super nervous, why not practice with a trusted friend
beforehand? Role play.
 Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Everyone is nervous before the first date. It’s
human.
 Mentally rehearsing what the date is going to be like can help. Sit in a
quiet place and picture yourself walking into the location. You’re sitting,
talking, sipping your drink, smiling at your date. The date is going well.
You’re calm and in control. You’re enjoying yourself. You make plans for
the next date and say goodbye.

4. Basics
 Personal hygiene is important: clean your nails, teeth, face, hair; wear
deodorant, clean shoes and clothes.
 Your date will notice how much care you take of yourself, and
thoughtlessness or looking like you’ve gone to no effort with personal
presentation doesn’t impress others.
 Don’t overdo perfumes, lotions or aftershaves. It’s better to avoid these
altogether anyway, they’re materialistic. Is that the message you want to
send?

5. On the date. Don’ts:
 Forget your ex. You will sound negative talking about them and
you want to be positive.
 Try not to have unrealistic expectations.
 Ask questions and be interested in him but don’t talk too much.
Aim for 50% or less of the talking.
 Avoid anything about ex's, his/her past, or if they want to marry
and have children. This will only scare them away.
 Don’t be too intimate or too personal on the first date.
 Avoid vulgarity and coarse language. It’s unattractive.

6. On the date. Do’s:
 Smile. Laugh. Be positive.
 First and last impressions count the most. Make your entrances and exits
confident, energetic, and warm.
 Be encouraging and agreeable.
 Slow down, speak clearly.
 Try to relax. If you’re nervous and jumpy, your date will sense this and
become anxious too.
 A good suggestion is to meet for coffee, a lemonade or a drink, that way
you can spend an hour together, end it, and then evaluate how that
went. You don’t want to overwhelm him or yourself.

7. Do’s cont.
 Go for a person who is kind and who listens to
you. If this isn’t evident after an hour, say thanks
for meeting me, make it clear that you’re not
interested and move on.
 Lying might be fine to some people. It’s not on
for me. Honesty is the best policy.
 Be an active listener yourself.

8. Good Questions on a first date:
 Have you lived here long?
 Where are you from originally?
 Do you live with family?
 Do you have a big family?
 What are some of your hobbies?
 Where do you like to holiday?
 Have you travelled much?

9. For girls:
 Don’t go overboard on make up. You don’t need it. Natural beauty works.
Consider avoiding short skirts, shorts and singlets. Dress conservatively, you
don’t need to sell yourself.
 Make your partner feel beautiful, valuable, virile, strong, sexy, attractive,
wanted, important, intelligent, etc
 Men don’t like loud and aggressive women. Most of them don't like that.
Your man wants you to be similar to his mother in this way.
 Don't criticise his parents. As a guide, don’t criticise anyone if you can help
it.

10. For girls cont.
 Q. What about kissing?
A. Jesus told me that kissing is intimacy. Reserve that for
marriage. I know it’s hard but don’t give in.
Don’t be alone together where you might be tempted.
Emotions and love and sex are very special and powerful. It's
better to share that with 1 person.
Genesis 29:20: “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel,
but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his
love for her.”
Read more:

11. To read
Read "The Book of Questions" by
Gregory Stock, PhD
Read the book "Red Flags: How to
Know if You're Dating a Loser"
The Dating Dilemma by Rachel
Gardner and André Adefope

12. Quotable Quotes
 What's important is... not what you possess, but rather what
you give.
 Young man: “What’s the secret of a long successful
marriage?” Old man: “We are good friends.”
 The number one reason that marriages fail today is
selfishness, and unfortunately, we tend to always be
thinking about what's in it for me. If you always put your
needs before those of someone you're dating, you will
foster a sense of resentment that may ultimately cost you
everything.

13. You can do this.
 After a break up,
success is the best revenge.
She/He wasn't right for me
but eventually someone
else will be.
 Keep a journal if it helps.
Talk things over with a
trusted friend or family
member.

14. Picture credits:
Slide 3 Biting by SayuriEyes on DeviantArt
Slide 13 Unsure by The-EverLasting-Ash on DeviantArt
All other images are public.
Happy dating!
Alex Cowling
Sydney, Australia