3. What is Applied Behavior Analysis?
• Applied
– Real world practice. It is applying basic science to
improve the lives of people.
• Behavior
– Any action of any living thing. For our purposes we are
interested in observable and measurable behavior.
• Analysis
– A scientific study. We are going to allow our teaching to
be guided by what really works!
8. Community
Guiding Your Strong Willed Child
• Parenting is personal
– My goal is to help you be the parent you want to be
• Equip you to effectively, purposefully & consistently
parent
– Community, science, techniques, support & practice
• Designed to be a lifestyle change, not a diet
– Invest & expect measurable growth over time
11. Session Overview
Community At-Home Extensions
Content Science of Behavior
Collaboration Practical Applications
12. Week One
Community
Different Perspectives on
Strong Willed Children
Content Operational Definitions
Collaboration Choices Before
13. Community
Spirited Child?
• “The word that distinguishes spirited children from
other children is more. They are normal children who
are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive,
and uncomfortable with change than other
children…" {continue reading in your binder}
Kurcinka. Raising Your Spirited Child. (2006)
14. Community
Strong Willed Child?
• Pluses
– “usually have a very strong sense of independence… typically
also assertive, confident, determined & persistent”
• And, minuses
– “a strong sense of independence also frequently leads these
children to become stubborn, argumentative & defiant”
• You are not alone
– 48% of parents of 2-6 year olds informally surveyed by the
authors described their child as “strong willed”
Forehand & Long. Parenting the Strong Willed Child. (2002)
15. Community
A Poll
• How many of the following describe your child’s
behavior?
Resists anything
Disobedient Bossy
done to him
Broadway-style
Argues Aggressive
tantrums
Cries to get
Demands attention Destructive
her own way
Doesn’t respond
Stubborn Very sensitive
to discipline
Adapted from Forehand & Long. Parenting the Strong Willed Child. (2002)
17. Community
The Power of the Will
• “There are books that use the term “strong-willed”
to discuss a child who cannot or will not
cooperate with adults or family members – a child
who, in fact, does not have a developed “will.” In
Montessori education, we focus instead on the
development of the will as the positive force that
enables us to learn from our environment and
society and to make a contribution to them” (24).
Lillard & Jessen. Montessori from the Start. (2003)
18. Community
A Developed Will
• A child who can say…
– “I can focus my energies.
– I can restrain my actions.
– I can control my impulses.” (25)
Lillard & Jessen. Montessori from the Start. (2003)
19. Week One
Community
Different Perspectives on
Strong Willed Children
Content Operational Definitions
Collaboration Choices Before
23. Content
Operational Definitions
• Objective
– Did I use only observable characteristics?
• Clear
– Could an unfamiliar actor use it as a script?
• Complete
– Does it include everything I want to include & exclude
everything I want to exclude?
28. Content
Nebulous Feeling of Guilt
• Sometimes we write historical fiction about our
children’s behavior – short on facts, long on drama
29. Content
Extreme Makeover – O.D.
Before After
We haven’t had as much quality
time for him because of the new
baby so he’s acting out his
insecurity at bedtime.
She is sad about going to school
because her day is too long
thanks to my work schedule.
We can’t go to Target together
anymore because he is strong-
willed and won’t let me get my
shopping done without a fight.
30. Content
Extreme Makeover – O.D.
Before After
We haven’t had as much quality
time for him because of the new Screams, “No, don’t leave me!”
baby so he’s acting out his while grabbing onto parent
insecurity at bedtime.
She is sad about going to school
Drops to the floor and throws
because her day is too long
backpack in front of classroom
thanks to my work schedule.
We can’t go to Target together
anymore because he is strong- Kicks and screams for over one
willed and won’t let me get my minute in a shopping cart
shopping done without a fight.
31. Content
Not-A-Test
• Circle all of the words you might find in an
“operational definition” of a tantrum.
Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry
Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well
Longer than a minute Happy Throws object
32. Content
Not-A-Test
• Circle all of the words you might find in an
“operational definition” of a tantrum.
Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry
Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well
Longer than a minute Happy Throws object
• Answer? All but those in black – those all are presumptions we make based on our observations, but are not
objective descriptions of behavior
33. Week One
Community
Different Perspectives on
Strong Willed Children
Content Operational Definitions
Collaboration Choices Before
36. Collaboration
Make Deposits Often
Carrots,
long or
Sit here short?
or there?
Walk
quickly or
slowly?
“Goodnight, I love you. It is time for bed.”
37. How to: In Good Times There is a difference
between asking open-
ended questions and
• Offer two choices offering choices. Both
are important!
• Wait 10 seconds
– If s/he chooses: Honor her request!
– If s/he doesn’t choose or chooses something different:
You say, “Ok, I choose ______”
• If Child says: “But I wanted…”
• Then you say: “OK great! You can make that choice next
time!” And move on…
38. How to: In Thin Ice Times
• Same as in Good Times… But be sure that you are
in control in one of the scenarios (shown in red)
• “Do you want to walk or shall I carry you?”
• “Would you like to sit nicely in your chair or sit in my lap?”
• “Would you like to eat one cookie or eat no cookies?”
• “Would you like put on your boots or shall I help you?”
• “Would you like to give your sister a turn with the toy or would
you like me to put it away?”
39. Collaboration
Time for You: Choices Before
• HERE: Reflect on good times at home and write
down 15 new Choices Before that you could offer
during those times
• HOME: Post your Choices Before list on your
refrigerator and cross them off as you use them
• NEXT WEEK: Bring your crossed off list to share
40. Collaboration
At-Home Extension
• Email me by SUNDAY night
– A 30-second video of you offering Choices Before
o Were choices offered before the problem?
o Did you offer only two choices?
o If thin ice, could you “enforce” one of the options?
o Did you wait patiently for 10 seconds?
o Did you honor your child’s choice if s/he chose?
o Did you calmly choose if s/he didn’t?
