What is real love

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The concept of love, falling in love and keeping the love alive.

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What is real love

  1. 1. What is True Love What is True Love By : Petra Joss Kent How do you define love in today's era where love affairs descend like a comet blazing in the sky via a whirlwind romance using text messages, cellular phone calls, social networking sites amid the pressures of good intentions, hidden agenda, illicit affairs and betrayal, deteriorating family concepts and decaying moral codes? Published on booksie.com/Petra Joss Kent Copyright © Petra Joss Kent, 2014 Publish your writing on Booksie.com. What is True Love 1
  2. 2. What is True Love What is True Love What is Real Love? Love is a concept best explain between two people who shared an invisible bond that transcends common logical concepts, established mores, customs and codes of morality. It blossoms from the onset of an established sexual chemistry that conceived, grows and develop into a shared mutual intimacy. Love defies established scientific explanation, nevertheless is best explain on the sudden surges, fluctuations and changes of hormonal levels of the biological make up of the individuals involved, accompanied by influences of the chemical factors transpired on the hypothalamus region of the brain. When a person falls in love, he feels happy, very inspired, and displays a wide uncontested gleeful grin resembling a hippos mouth . You will see stars twinkling in his eyes, the future seems rosy and bright. Every cell and fibre of his being is alive and vibrating and, the immune system is strengthen. You are on top of the world!.. Love is ethereal like a a mirage, it may descend like a comet blazing through your life path, but may gone too soon, when the object of your passionate attention suddenly disappear or dies unexpectedly. Love is infinite meaning immeasurable and transcends the boundaries of human precepts. Love is pure, it is not tainted by hidden motives nor self serving agenda. Love is reckless for it will accomplish everything in its power for the fulfillment of a whom it seeks and desires, at whatever the cost. Real love goes one step higher.... Real love survives distance, separation and death.. Where love has conceived, grows, blossomed and immortalizes by two individual who chose to be together, survived the odds, and defies deathâ ¦. Genesis All relationships of the heart burst forth from the initial infinitesimal defining moment ---where man becomes extra aware of the presence of a woman amongst the crowd of people. The manâ s curious gazed is captured on the mesmerizing image in a shape of an alluring female he admired and behold. Blossoms The first stirrings of physical attraction grabs his attention...to chase her and conduct a visual thorough evaluation on what his eager eyes and the sudden heighten sexual awareness that penetrates his consciousness that raises his sexual libido to dangerous levels.. What is True Love 2
  3. 3. What is True Love Deep in thought, a clever plan is slowly hatched within his mind...a subtle assault to run after herâ ¦ Curiosity and Fatal attraction Intense curiosity meteor rise to acute point, gears in the brain shifted into covert assignment mode, reflecting on the least resistance method to approach and subdue the object of his interest. She is an opiate, that conveys the profound definition on hunt, hunter and prey. Primeval instinct gains momentum and encouraged the hunter to find means, and a reason to approach the object of his obsession. Cut corners he will do, confront devil, if that is what it takes to establish a contact with her. Subtle approach... The male approaches the female prey and strikes a conversation to introduce his presence, if both are tune on the same frequencies...a level of interest will be apparent on the gaze she gives back to the male on pursuit. First good first impression helps to determine the possible outcomes of the initial approach. Where the response is favorable, and the pursued party shows the same level of curiosity and keen interest to keep the conversation flowing and more, the interaction progresses into a level of mutual affection. Mutual affection Most male searches longed for a pretty face with a good stunning figure and million dollar smile. But it is not exclusive, there are women who are not tall and slim yet they exudes sexiness, charisma and sex appeal that attracts the mature male looking for a serious relationship. Not every relationship of the heart is solely evaluated based on the physical appearance of the searcher and the woman, for all relationships of the opposite sex requires compatibility and the pursuit of common interest and priorities to be a successful power house couple. There are many ingredients needed for a relationship to work out, but it certainly boost your chances of finding a life time partner if you are good looking, successful, positive thinker, confident, emphatic, with good sense of humor, with less chips on your shoulders. Coup de graceâ ¦ Meanwhile, the woman, steals a furtive flattery look, twinkling eyes, restless feet, cold clammy fingers, towards the handsome apparition that fell in her line of vision. The image of the hunterâ s beautiful countenance and laudatory persistence ignited a thrill, a smile, a jolt in her heart. The man moved on for the kill, and gets closer to the object of his admiration and wonderment. After going through the motions of introductions and striking up a smart ass conversation, without sounding like a jack ass, she looked back at cougar and says "I would love to get to know you more". And bang! The feelings of adrenalin rush to chase each otherâ s butt starts. Hot pursuits of heated passion commencedâ ¦ 3
  4. 4. What is True Love Chase is the pursuit of the mutual feelings of affection shared by both the pursuer and the pursued party. The pursuit of mutual feelings of affection will lead to an network bridge of communication by correspondence, text messages, phone calls, exchanging emails that eventually leads to a proposal of a date. Dating and sexâ ¦ Dating is the shortest route of pursuing each other, to obtain fast results.. A man pursued a woman because he wants to have sex with her. Yes men are creatures of the flesh, plain and simple! The pretty face, alluring figure, kilowatt smile, terrific sense of humor, smart brain, eloquent, blunt, sweet, innocent, are just some of the reasons. Man is a visual creature, and a pretty vision in a shape of a woman is on top of his diet. Men are rabid rabbits, whereby mating a female equipped with functional anatomical parts is essential on their diet. Dating is a ritual exercise and adventure of dizzying heights, an exploratory quest to dissect one another from flesh to soul. Times spend together flirting in sheer abandon, excitement and joyâ ¦ frolicking in the water, building castles in the sand, holding hands as sun dips on the horizonâ ¦impromptu dance, soaking clothes, dripping bodies, laughing and running like kids under the torrential rain, cozy meal in a hotel, restaurant, diner or on a boatâ ¦african safari get away, outback adventureâ ¦ strolling on a park, exploring ancient burial park, nature tripping, bunjee jumping, scuba diving, drinking coffee, munching sandwiches while watching a game or a horror movie togetherâ ¦discussions of quantum mechanics, time travel, parallel dimensions, divine equation, gene splicing, exploits of Gods and Goddessesâ ¦. kissing under the moonlit evening, making love until you are both grasping for breath and fully satiated. Motivationâ ¦. A man filled with good intentions conducts himself in straight forward manner and the words that comes forth out of his mouth are devoid of empty promises and lies.. If he seriously in search for a potential soul mate, discernment is his second name in his choice of dates. He will be seriously putting up the framework for the consecration of his nesting ground.. Smart women has to search far and wide, dig and crawl to search for a few good men, who want commitment.. Good men are creatures of the flesh and mind. Women are creatures of the heart. Meantime, a devious person cloaked in sinister agenda is a loud mouthed pompous ass, too eager to flaunt his wealth, brandishes his achievements and fabricates lies to impress a woman. Lust versus intimacy Men are drawn to the most desirable physical attributes of a woman. A man chases a woman because he wanted to go to bed with her. Sex is always the first thing that propels a man to be with a woman. Repetitive encounters made the man hunger for more physical closeness, and whence she responded with equal fervor, kissing and sexual encounters thus follows. 4
  5. 5. What is True Love Man chases a woman to fulfill his sexual need requirement. A woman chases a man for sex because she longed for intimacy Whence a man is only after the ritual of the sexual act, it is lust. For man to chase a woman he must be lusting for her. Yes lust, like what typical humping dogs do during mating season. Not all lust leads to intimacy. Men can have sex with a female without being intimate. Men are sex driven maniac machines. Lust is the pursuit of carnal desire and lusting men are only after the fulfillment of their carnal desires. A smart, mature man seriously searching for a soul mate wants more than sexual calisthenics in bed benefits. He wants the whole deal, a smart, multi tasking, decorative housekeeper who is also a perfect whore in bed. A nesting cougar explores the merits of the affair beyond the requirement of his physical needs. Genuine deeper affectionâ ¦ Deeper affection is more profound, a pursuit of emotional attachment inclusive of physical interaction. A one night stand is not a relationship neither it is an affair, it is the pursuit of carnal desire. Dating is a prelude to an affair which reveals the different facets of the personality of both lovers. Not all affairs are fought with good intentions, the rest are only for the pursuit of the excitement and lust. When the game of chasing each other is over and done, either party loses the interest to go forward to the next level and the short torrid affair falls apart. Whence an affair is more than just the pleasures of the flesh, the dating phase advanced to the next level surpassing the level of lust. Lust only lasts for a season or until one gets bored. Lust is all about sex without inclusion of shared emotions. Sex is also a tool use to express into action mode the physical desires of the brain. Brain falls in love, and the body acted what the brain dictates. Love is all brain work. A serious affair has substance. It is inclusive of emotional attachment and the meeting of two minds bonded together, transcending beyond the limits of separation and death. See Annakarenina by Tolstoy, Tristan and Isolde. Personal Disclosure Emotional attachment commences upon disclosure of sensitive, personal information on each other. Disclosure of information travels back and forth between the parties once a level of trust is established. The level of trust depends upon the degree of the depth of the love affair, the willingness of the concerned parties to willfully disclose tidbits or conglomerate of information. If your boyfriend snores like bull, and your girlfriend is a sleepwalker and yet you cannot imagine life without him/ her then you caught the love bug. If he is a painkiller dependent, a pathological liar and victim of ritual abuse, how far will you go to pursue love? 5
  6. 6. What is True Love Snippets of personal information that travels back and forth, filtered in each others ears will help you aid and evaluate the personality of your lover. Family issues mentioned in passing, job assignments and intrigues, the circle of friends he associates with, the type of crowd he spent with, friends he socializes, financial worries, celibacy are factors to help you decide to go forward up or cancel the affair. Reality bitesâ ¦ What would you do when your lover confessed that he sent people to their death? Will you jump ship or hang on for dear life? If she tasted prison life, as a result of the wrong choices and decisions she made, will you disappear? If he tells you he accidentally or intentionally fathered a kid from some derelict skunk, will you send him packing to hell? . If she confessed to a collection of many scandalous affairs of the past, will you hang on for dear life and fight for your love? Dispensation of Trust and Respect Where there is a level of trust, one will gamble and reveal sections of personal information about oneself, family secrets, dirty linens in the closet, to test if your lover will help you carry and dispose the demons on your shoulders and not use the secrets you reveal to ridicule and take advantage of your vulnerability. We seek emotional attachment because we wanted to share the joys and burdens of the chips we carry on our shoulders. Humans are basically social creatures. We cannot simply live alone without seeking a companion to spend our life with. Skeletons in the closet There are moments of high and lows in a relationship where the admirable characteristics and strong points of the man you admired is toss into the limelight. The downside is the sudden unexpected display of the hidden truth and habits during unguarded moments spent together. If you discover your boyfriend or fiancée is bi polar or a D.I.D. sufferer will you terminate the affair or help him cope with his medical condition? If she is a victim of domestic abuse or human trafficking, will you held it against her? Acceptance and boundaries The purpose of discussing points of contention is to avoid and resolve future discord and conflicts by putting the issues on the table. Will you render judgment where your lover grew up in a racist household? If she is born in a family of criminals and crook politicians, will you judge her like the rest of her blood kin? Not all affairs of the heart are a fairy tale stories. It will be your choice, you call, your loss or your gain. If your lover is a pathological liar, a compulsive alcoholic or gambler, a womanizer, lazy bitch yet beautiful and smart, will you continue the relationship and hope everything will work out in the end? You are not a miracle worker. Do not ever entertain notions that a leopard can be transformed into a sheep. Mental illness cannot be cured by prayers. Personality traits, habits, attitudes cannot go under the knife and turn into beautiful works of art and monuments of good deeds. Set boundaries and draw the line. 6
  7. 7. What is True Love Where both are physically drawn to each others personality, and not only attracted on the physical aspect of the relationship, it is an omen that the dating business has branched out into a serious pursuit of the heart.. Recipe for a successful love affair 1. Sexual compatibility. 2. Emotional bond . It involves sensitivity and empathy on your partners well being. 3. Mental connection. You share the same interests, field of endeavors, your mental prowess complemented, and the distance factor does not negate nor lessen what you have forged despite the time lapses and great distances. 4. Similar priorities in life. do you share the same ambition, plan for the success of your love affair. 5. Moral code of ethics must be similar and ideologies in life. 6. Acceptance. You can not alter nor delete into oblivion the personâ s personal history. His past shaped him to what he is today, but the future is still to be written. Help carry the burden, bury the demons and be his guiding light or give up 7. Trust and respect are two peas in a pod. Trust has to be earned and respect is only gained when the person you have an intimate relationship with is reliable, consistent, honest and loyal. 8. Time and Patience. It will help to reaffirm your feelings, validate your convictions. You can never hurry love. It has to be conceived and grow in its own pace and accord. Selfless acts involved commendable acts of kindness, empathy voluntarily done to validate your feelings towards your loverâ ¦willfully, willingly without being prodded, performing chores, responsibilities, tasks, to ease the burden of one another. Killers of Love Jealousy is a wasted energy, do not be a slave on its power. Insecurity are feelings of inadequacy, inferiority complex will eventually kill the affection that you share with each other. Control freak is a dead end. You cannot control a person like you cannot control the flow of the tides. When you do, you signed a death certificate on your affair. • Where you brave the winds, cross the seven seas, climb the highest mountains, trek the arid desert, cross gully and valleys, jump on a plane you are in love. • Where a man chases a woman to the ends of the Earth, and the woman chases the man to the gates of hell, it is called love. Taking the big leap of faith Commitment is the crux to end all speculations, doubt and fear. Commitment is the life blood of the affairs of the heart. Where one is not willing and hesitant to surrender his/her independence, freedom and commit his/ her life to share it with the other for good or bad, the relationship is doomed from the start. Mature, intelligent men and women do not relish the idea of giving up their valued and priceless freedom and independence without putting up a serious fight. These individuals have gone to hell, live in hell and come back to life scarred. They must be certain of their decision once they give out their full trust and respect. Commitment is a very precious personal mantra to them. They will reflect, analyze, and reconsider more than 7
  8. 8. What is True Love a hundred times before they will render their verdict if the partner is worth the trouble, the sacrifice and the freedom they must surrender in order to be with him/ her. ....after the Marriage Do not tear each others throat or start pointing murderous finger on each other, when the marriage is on the rocks...People do change, interests expand, there are instances where the same repetitive routine,sexual calisthenics begets boredom, some felt smothered or constricted by the 24/ 7 monitoring and check in. The imposed minor or mandatory restrictions on each other not to do this and do that attitude, taxes a relationship to a point where one of the party might decide to cut off the relationship. Where either one of the couple loses the interest to go further and ride the storm together, where one loses respect and the element of betrayal commences, it is time to let go and put the whole episode into a one big lesson in life. Real love is a continuous saga... One cannot afford to be over confident, ambivalent and arrogant with the mind set that everything is touch and go now that you are married. Transferance of affection does happen when one becomes too lenient and conceited. You can only prepare for the worst and hope for the best. There are men who become disgusted when their partner gained weight and loses what body size they once have, it is very important for you to discuss if this matters a lot to him. I for one do not want my partner to become a beach whale, I will find it grotesque and an abomination, you should not take it out against your partner if he / she has strange vanity. Do not lost your touch and mystery, innovate and improve, do not cease to learn new things, just because you are now married, it does not meant you have to give up your individuality and self fulfillment.. Long distance love affair versus foolishness You are not in love until you meet him/ her in the flesh and validated what you felt for each other. Meantime, you need to go back to your own respective lives and reality. How can an affair survive the long haul? Constant communication is the most important tool to let the other know he is being thought of every minute of your day. If communication slows down and ceases, then the affair is gone. If he comes back for you, or if he wanted you to go to his kingdom, it means the affair is on the brink of love. You chased each other across the wide expanse of seas that is cause for a celebration. You might be falling in love: · when you can not come up with any practical reason why you want him or her in your life. It is what you can do for the person and not the other way around 8
  9. 9. What is True Love · when you started to care for him, worried about his health and whereabouts, concern for his welfare and safety and pray he is safe from harm · when you are sexually lusting for him without end. · when you cried buckets of tears, your smile is as wide as a hippos mouth and as sweet as cats grin. . when you transform into a monogamous dog or bitch. . when you contemplate death and a life of loneliness than be with another man or woman. It is not love if: · Your lover is emotionally and verbally abusive . Your lover is a parasite, gives you stress and drains your strength. · Your lover is bleeding your wallet, draining your wealth and sucking out your resources · Your lover is manipulative and trying to alienate you from your long time friends, family business associates and goes hysterical if his/ her needs is not being addressed and try to emotionally blackmail you with tears. . your lover is too young enough to be your granddaughter or grandson. Cradle snatcher! What is real loveâ ¦ Love is accepting and welcoming a mate into your life inclusive of the person's shortcomings and imperfections. Acceptance of the truth, the whole package of roses and thorn -- who the person is, and not what he is, without the need to change and mold him into someone else.. Love goes beyond the physical, it transcends beyond words. It entails sacrifices given willfully and freely without pressure and emotional blackmail. It will not try to bribe the way into your heart with money or sex. Love are those little act of kindness and gestures that made the person smile and think she is the luckiest woman in the world. Love is patient. It is more than willing to wait Love is dispensation of trust and respect. Love does not lie. It is only after the pursuit of the truth. Love does not deceive. Love is not selfish neither self serving Love brings out the best in YOU. 9
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  11. 11. What is True Love Created from Booksie.com Generated: 2014-01-26 11:35:09 11

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