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The Middle Way
The Human Reality
While feminine energy is yin and
masculine energy is yang, it has nothing to do
with gender. Men can tend more towards yin
energy and women can tend more towards
yang energy, and vice versa.
 Feminine (yin) Characteristics: Sensitive, Nurturing,
Slower Moving, Intuitive, Relaxed, Imaginative, Quiet,
Introverted
 Masculine (yang) Characteristics: Excited, Rational,
Direct, Mental, Enthusiastic, Outgoing, Changeable, Logical
Building Healthy Relationships
Mix sand and water together and shake the container hard and
soon you will have a muddy substance, then set the container
down and let it rest while the sediment falls to the bottom and
water once again becomes clear.
To build, live, and experience relationships in the middle path
means releasing illusions of control, and living in harmony
with the natural energy flux of back and forth experienced in
all relationships.
You cannot force a square block into a round hole, and even a
round block must be of the appropriate diameter, but no
matter the shape and size, you can always pour water (clarity)
into it.
Relational Assumptions of Good Will
 Good will is present and shared between partners.
 Good will is an overall feeling of generosity toward
your partner.
 Good will is the attitude, “I am on your side, no
matter what. I am your ally, not your adversary.”
 Good will means you value your relationship far
more than whatever challenges generally arise.
 You understand that love has nothing to do with
fairness. Love is love.
 The more you give love away, the more you
receive.
10 Characteristics That Reflect Real Love
 Selfless-even when there is a desire to be selfish.
 Thoughtful-even when one is to busy.
 Giving-in spirit and time (more valuable than money or
gifts)
 Supportive – not jealous or envious
 Understanding – not angry, even when passionately arguing
 Forgiving – no one is perfect
 Attentive – truly knowing your partner because of it
 Reflective – always thinking about how to make the
relationship better
 Respectful – in voice and actions, under any circumstance
 Faithful – always. If you truly love, this isn’t difficult
Balanced Giving and Taking
 Fairness & equality are the bedrock of
relationships and generally embrace a 50-50
proposition.
 Both partners have to give and take equally to
feel good.
 Works well as long as both partners agree and
show a spirit of good will.
 However, when one partner feels mistreated and
unable to negotiate successfully, options
become exhausted.
Holding the Balance Between the Extremes
Maintaining Relational Balance
 On one side is the amount you are giving to
your partner's needs and the relationship.
 On the other side is the amount you are taking
for yourself to care for your needs in the
relationship.
 What lies within your control is (1) how much
and how often you take care of your partner,
even if at your own expense, and (2) how much
and how often you take care of yourself, even
if at your partner's expense.
Relationship Stuck in the Extremes:
Steps to Depolarizing an Impasse
 Give up being right and relax the urgency of your position.
 Look for Win-Win outcomes.
 Step into the other person's shoes.
 Balance good will with self-care and reduce the odds of
reverting to the extremes of either giving in or insisting on
your own way.
 Take care of your partner and make a decision to adapt to
your partner's needs... (selflessness) is an act of love.
 Take care of your needs... (sacred selfishness) is an act of
love. “Be gentle with yourself. In the noisy confusion of
life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmannwards
David Grinstead, MA, CHt
Life Coach / Career Coach / Spiritual Coach
Website: www.linkedin.com/in/livealife
Email: becomplete@live.com
Phone: 336-380-0203

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Building Healthy Intimate Relationships

  • 3. While feminine energy is yin and masculine energy is yang, it has nothing to do with gender. Men can tend more towards yin energy and women can tend more towards yang energy, and vice versa.  Feminine (yin) Characteristics: Sensitive, Nurturing, Slower Moving, Intuitive, Relaxed, Imaginative, Quiet, Introverted  Masculine (yang) Characteristics: Excited, Rational, Direct, Mental, Enthusiastic, Outgoing, Changeable, Logical
  • 4.
  • 5.
  • 6. Building Healthy Relationships Mix sand and water together and shake the container hard and soon you will have a muddy substance, then set the container down and let it rest while the sediment falls to the bottom and water once again becomes clear. To build, live, and experience relationships in the middle path means releasing illusions of control, and living in harmony with the natural energy flux of back and forth experienced in all relationships. You cannot force a square block into a round hole, and even a round block must be of the appropriate diameter, but no matter the shape and size, you can always pour water (clarity) into it.
  • 7. Relational Assumptions of Good Will  Good will is present and shared between partners.  Good will is an overall feeling of generosity toward your partner.  Good will is the attitude, “I am on your side, no matter what. I am your ally, not your adversary.”  Good will means you value your relationship far more than whatever challenges generally arise.  You understand that love has nothing to do with fairness. Love is love.  The more you give love away, the more you receive.
  • 8. 10 Characteristics That Reflect Real Love  Selfless-even when there is a desire to be selfish.  Thoughtful-even when one is to busy.  Giving-in spirit and time (more valuable than money or gifts)  Supportive – not jealous or envious  Understanding – not angry, even when passionately arguing  Forgiving – no one is perfect  Attentive – truly knowing your partner because of it  Reflective – always thinking about how to make the relationship better  Respectful – in voice and actions, under any circumstance  Faithful – always. If you truly love, this isn’t difficult
  • 9. Balanced Giving and Taking  Fairness & equality are the bedrock of relationships and generally embrace a 50-50 proposition.  Both partners have to give and take equally to feel good.  Works well as long as both partners agree and show a spirit of good will.  However, when one partner feels mistreated and unable to negotiate successfully, options become exhausted.
  • 10. Holding the Balance Between the Extremes
  • 11. Maintaining Relational Balance  On one side is the amount you are giving to your partner's needs and the relationship.  On the other side is the amount you are taking for yourself to care for your needs in the relationship.  What lies within your control is (1) how much and how often you take care of your partner, even if at your own expense, and (2) how much and how often you take care of yourself, even if at your partner's expense.
  • 12.
  • 13. Relationship Stuck in the Extremes: Steps to Depolarizing an Impasse  Give up being right and relax the urgency of your position.  Look for Win-Win outcomes.  Step into the other person's shoes.  Balance good will with self-care and reduce the odds of reverting to the extremes of either giving in or insisting on your own way.  Take care of your partner and make a decision to adapt to your partner's needs... (selflessness) is an act of love.  Take care of your needs... (sacred selfishness) is an act of love. “Be gentle with yourself. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmannwards
  • 14.
  • 15. David Grinstead, MA, CHt Life Coach / Career Coach / Spiritual Coach Website: www.linkedin.com/in/livealife Email: becomplete@live.com Phone: 336-380-0203