4. Objectives….
By the end of the session you will be able to:
1. Identify 2 occasions where you said yes when no
would have been more appropriate
2. Reframe those situations by providing alternative
responses
By doing the activities requested by your facilitator
8. Transfer Ownership of your
refusal to someone else
E.g. "I can, but my schedule is booked now. Ho
about some other time?" You don't have to
explain further. This deflects any resentment t
might have towards your schedule.
9.
10. Don’t feel obligated to explain
You may have reasons you don’t wish to
discuss. If so try saying something
like, “I'm just not able to.” If you must….
change the subject, or say, "I'm
sorry, but I need to go.”
11. Explain simply and only if you
wish to do so
If the case really is
one that you feel
okay explaining, make
your explanation as
simple as possible.
14. Stand Firm
If the requestor does not want to
accept your answer, tell him or her
that your mind is made up and that
you will not change it
15. Place more value on the word ‘no’
hope he
don’t forget
If I’d agreed to switch to it was me
black against my better who told him
judgment..I’d never to trust his
have won the jackpot! instinct!
Editor's Notes
ObjectiveBy the end of the session, you will be able to:Identify 2 occasions where you have said yes and no would have been more appropriateReframe those situations by providing alternative responses
Session OutlineThis is a short session, but I intend to cover the following
ObjectiveBy the end of the session, you will be able to:Identify 2 occasions where you have said yes and no would have been more appropriateReframe those situations by providing alternative responses
ObjectiveBy the end of the session, you will be able to:Identify 2 occasions where you have said yes and no would have been more appropriateReframe those situations by providing alternative responses
I’d like you to come up with 2 situations/examples (one work related, one not), where something was requested of you (time, work, opinion, etc) and you said yes, where ideally, you would have liked to say no or SHOULD in hindsight have said no.Can you remember how you felt at the request being made?I want you to be self reflective and examine your reasons for agreeing? ( Why do we say yes when we mean no?) Pleasing people, Career Progression, Not wanting to appear unknowledgeable, Not having the necessary supportI’d like you to reframe the conversation, saying no this time, but using some of the techniques discussedTest: A Client has a query with some points on a Design Appraisal. Test: One of your Direct reports has made a request to attend a conferenceTest: You feel that you are already working at capacity, and you Line Manager has An urgent client request that Who is the client: Operator of an LNG terminalWhat was the piece of work. Issue with the terminal and review done 4 yrs ago What was/is the client querying: New operator for terminal…repurchased……regulator requested audit then raised an issue. Demanded US to go back and give independent view of how they have been operating Why do they want an LR person to go to Mexico: Do we approve their process? We recommended monitoring.What are their major concerns about the queryWhat alternatives did you offer the client? Attend meeting and present study, teleconference….misunderstanding.How did you/your manager handle denial of a request for a visit.
First and foremost, bear in mind that both you and the other person have rights. Try to focus on the issue/problem/challenge/request….and as far as possible, separate that from the individual….this allows you to build consistency of approach into your responses.Also remember, that as manager, you have the ultimate accountability and responsibility for the interaction.Keeping the humanity of the direct report at the centre of your thought process, enables you to listen in a more focussed way
http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully
http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully
http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully
http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-RespectfullyDoris Mable Cochran (1898-1968), measuring a turtle shell
I In the case of a client, you may not have the luxury of not offering an explanationhttp://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully
Are you getting some sub-conscious payoff?
http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully
A good friend once told me….sometimes you have to say no to someone else in order to say yes to yourself