Getting along with others
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An expanded Conflict Resolution Presentations which gives more practical advice on how to use the information. I had members of the class give real life examples of Conflict Causes as listed on pages 13-18 . This helped bring out some very REAL issues (without centering anyone out) that we were able to provide resolutions for. Worked well. Good Luck.
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Getting along with others
- 3. POSSIBILITY? • Use conflicts for positive growth experiences • Anger management techniques/meditation • View situations as being difficult – can be changed • Awareness of personality types & individual conflict styles (including our own)
- 4. POSSIBILITY? • We will examine conflict theories • We will explore causes of conflicts • We will review examples of conflicts and difficult situations • We will consider advice and practical tips from the experts • We will discuss our own suggested solutions.
- 6. BANG!
- 8. • A conflict is a fight, struggle, battle, disagreement, dispute or quarrel. • A conflict can be as small as a disagreement or as large as a war.
- 9. • Conflict-you’ll find it everywhere! • Whenever two people come into contact, the potential for conflict arises. It is a normal part of human interaction • A struggle over wants, needs, goals and values.
- 10. • WANT: Something one desires • NEED: Something necessary • VALUE: Estimated or assigned worth • GOAL: What one works to achieve
- 12. Differences in wants, needs, goals or values Scarcity of resources: property, money, time or power Competition Rivalry Sport
- 19. Benefits of Conflict • Conflicts increase awareness of problems • Conflicts can make life more interesting • Conflicts allow you to see different perspectives • Conflicts create new ideas • Conflicts allow you to learn more about others
- 20. A Conflict Has Been Helpful If: • You are able to relate better with others • You feel better about each other • You are satisfied with the results of the conflict • Your ability to resolve conflicts has improved • You feel your point of view has been heard
- 21. • Ask Questions – Communicate wants • Consider everyone’s expectations • Accept there will be different perspectives • Watch for emotional triggers & remain calm • Focus on preventing escalation • Commit to working things out • Be familiar with conflict styles
- 22. • Awareness of the various conflict styles allows for a better understanding of others • By being able to predict someone’s reactions, we can send out triggers for positive responses • Knowledge empowers; as with this understanding, comes the ability to “influence others”
- 25. The Turtle: Avoidance • The strength of this style is that this person can easily look past conflicts and realizes most conflicts will solve themselves. They are calm on the outside and help de-escalate emotions in conflict. • The struggle with this style is the tendency to minimize, deny, and avoid conflict altogether. Major conflict tends to grow worse when it isn’t addressed.
- 27. The Teddy Bear: Accommodation • The strength of this style is how likeable and lovable this person is. They want and need harmony. They will accept blame just to bring peace to angry situations. • The struggle of this style is that a teddy bear may be taken advantage of; become a doormat. Secretly, they tend to have low self-esteem and use likability from others as a way to build their own self-confidence.
- 28. The Teddy Bear: Accommodation
- 29. The Shark: Competition • The strength of this style is the ability to be strong, courageous and bring a conflict out in the open quickly. A shark is a leader that can confront bullies. • The struggles are becoming too pushy, tactless and hurting people’s feelings. Sharks can escalate emotions and create barriers easily.
- 31. The Fox: Compromise • The strength of the fox is communication and a willingness to find win-win or lose-lose compromises. Often the fox is able to craft intelligent intermediate solutions. • The struggles of the fox are an overuse of deceptiveness and manipulation devices. People may feel “outfoxed” and cheated by others using this style.
- 33. The Owl: Collaboration • The strength of this style is integrity. Owls build trust, respect and deep relationships. They are not tied to their way and tend to have an open mind for solutions that create a win-win experience. • The struggle is that owls must have two willing parties with high levels of communication skills in order to collaborate. Some conflicts require quick solutions and this style may take too long.
- 35. Successful Conflict Resolution Means Being Flexible Enough To Use All Conflict Styles Depending on The Situation!
- 37. Don’t Allow Yourself To Be Consumed With The Argument Don’t Stay In An Abusive Situation When There Is Nothing To Be Gained By Winning / Settling
- 38. CHANGECHANGE CHANGE Your Attitude MUST change Check Your Perception See Beyond Your Pre Conceived Opinions
- 39. 1. It is your responsibility to resolve the conflict. 2. Every action has a positive intention. 3. People are doing the best they can with what they have. 4. Flexibility is the only way to get results
- 40. Change THEIR AttitudeUnderstand Why They Are Difficult (and show understanding) Gently Show Them Another Angle (and that you deserve respect)
- 41. TAKE A STAND Last Option Develop A Strategy – Plan, Don’t React Consult With Others Take Situation Seriously Defend Your Position With Facts
Editor's Notes
- Open Music File & Play Conflict Related SongsIntroducemyself and distribute first handout. Ensure name tags are completed and worn.
- Open Music File & Play Conflict Related SongsIntroducemyself and distribute first handout. Ensure name tags are completed and worn.
- Story: Spent the last few days reviewing material and researching suggestions on how to deal with difficult people and ideas for conflict resolution.On Sunday, my partner was in a very bad mood and continually caused uncomfortable situations and stressful moments. I thought, “what a perfect opportunity to test some of the tips we are going to cover later. Unfortunately, I tried them all and they all failed. Later in the evening I found myself travelling alone and I felt discouraged in regards to the tools failing me. But then I suddenly realized that they DID indeed work—because I didn’t feel as if I had been in a conflict whatsoever. I didn’t have resentment, anger, sadness, confusion or any typical after-emotion. Instead I felt calm, and confident that none of it was my fault, I did nothing to escalate the situation and I had the understanding that sometimes you can do nothing by realise the conflict is due to another’s personality or mood.
- Read and explain this first page of conflict causes. Walk around with envelope with pieces of paper and get each person to pick two and between the two, choose one, then think of an example of a situation in which this was the cause of conflict either for them or a friend and how to resolve it.
- Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
- Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
- THESE ARE EXAMPLES OF LINDA’S SITUATION!Read her story and point out how each of these causes were present how she dealt with it.
- NEPOTISM – when someone holds a position due to contacts/relationships and not personal merit or qualifications.Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
- Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
- But how can we best ensure that a conflict won’t leave us feeling battered, abused or disappointed in our own actions?We need to be prepared with tools and practices so that we won’t be caught off guard and allow someone to take advantage of us.We also need to have practices in place so that we won’t lose our cool and end up with regrets.
- Emotional Triggers: Facial Expressions are the most common type---control your own and don’t be swayed by them.
- The first way we are going to cover some mechanisms for effective conflict is
- Explain that (for adults especially) writing things down helps with memory.
- 1. You cannot wait for the other person to fix things. 1. Meaning that the other person is acting in a way that has always proven to get them what they want. (ask for someone to give an example of a shark in this situation) so you have to learn to provide them with want they want prior to them engaging in the undesirable action. 3. Suspend thoughts of being manipulated or sabotaged, don’t judge them, simply help them get what they want with a lending hand. LangsWe know that health, wellness and access to care are affected by many factors, including income, housing, employment, education, social support, food security, gender and the environment. Langs staff and volunteers understand that this complex picture is particularly challenging for members of our community who experience multiple barriers to access. 4. Try and try and try and try again. Challenge yourself to find a solution.