What is conflict?• An expressed struggle – Disagreement becomes verbal and nonverbal facial/gestures show aggression.• Between at least two independent people – Conflict between members affects group members.• Incompatible goals, scarce resources and interference – Conflict often because two people want the same thing.• Achieving a goal- Understanding what people want helps to manage the conflict.
Five Conflict Management Styles• Dysfunctional families – Many of us grew up in families where we didn’t learn to effectively communicate in relationships, especially when it involves conflict – being assertive helps heal and reduces our stress and conflict with others.There are five basic styles of communication: - Avoidance - Accommodation - Competition - Compromise - Collaboration
Five Conflict Management StylesAvoidance is a style (AS) in which individuals have developed apattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, andidentifying and meeting their needs.AS will:•Avoid conflict•Fall to assert themselves•Allows others to infringe on their rights•Tend to speak softy and apologeticallyIssues:•Avoidance can make conflict worse•Avoidance demonstrates lack of care or concernWhen is this style appropriate?•Can be positive, especially if the conflict is too big or emotional to resolve without help•Can give a group time to cool off – or allows group to avoid ‘hot issues to get in the way
Five Conflict Management StylesAccommodation is a style (ACS) in which individuals give in toavoid a major blow up or controversy. Not a bad approach,especially when conflict is pseudo or simple.ACS will:•Hope this approach makes the conflict go away•Have a high need for approval – think this will make people likethem more•Give in too quickly, and doesn’t allow discussion which is oftenhealthy for a group making decisionsWhen is this style appropriate?•Accommodating others may cause the group to make a baddecision, if more discussion isn’t allowed to happen
Five Conflict Management StylesCompetition is a style (CS) that people who have power or want more poweroften seek to compete with others. Often referred to aggressive.CS will:•Try to dominate others•Use humiliation to control others•Have low frustration levels•Blame others, instead of owning the issuesWhen is style appropriate?•Not always wrong to compete, if you know you aren’t wrong•Also, if group members are suggesting something illegal or inappropriate•Or, member keeps others in the group from destructive or inappropriatebehavior
Five Conflict Management StylesCompromise ‘the big C’ (CS) is style thatattempts to find a middle ground – a solutionthat meets all needs.Issues:•You win…I win, is the best case, however attimes nobody gets what they want.•Or, some lose and some win, which isexpected…like a democracy. The majority win.•What can happen to the minority?
Five Conflict Management StylesCollaboration is a style (COS) where groupmembers work side-by-side, rather than going after power, control, or winner takes all.COS will:•View conflict has something that needs to be resolved, rather than a game where people win or lose.•COS leave personal grievances aside.Works best:•With a culturally diverse group•When group has the time to take to work through discussion, and lookingall solutions to make sure everyone is happy with decision
Dealing with Difficult People Crazy - MakersPassive Aggressive – is a style whereindividuals appear passive on the surfacebut are actually acting out anger in a subtle,indirect, or behind the scenes way.PA will:•Mutter to themselves•Use facial expressions that don’t’ match•Deny there is a problem•Become alienated from those around themPA believe:•They are weak and resentful, so I sabotage, frustrate and disrupt.•I will appear cooperative but I’m not.
Dealing with Difficult MembersRecognizing Crazy maker Behavior • Surprise you with requests • Pressure to do something when you’re unsure • Use relationships as leverage • Isolate you from support • Shift expectations and moods
Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climates• Learn to recognize and deal with Crazymakers• Try to determine the communication conflict style of your group members.• Actively use communication to build climates• Accept and confirm others• Respect diversity in relationshipsJust as we should respect others, you need to respect, affirm, and assert yourself!• Affirm and assert yourself• Respond constructively to criticism
Crazy makers can be managedDon’t expect them to respond to feelings –Use statements that are factual, not emotional.Don’t let them spoil you day – One needs to emotionally separate their identity and self-esteem from their negative behavior – Don’t take it personally!Manage yourself in their presence• Monitor your physical and nonverbal responses.• Stay neutral – don’t show emotions show in your tone of voice, facial expressions or gestures.• Don’t give them the “power.”
Crazymakers can be managedManage and communicate expectations• Don’t expect them to behave as you do.• Be clear with them about your expectations.Slow them Down – Tell them “You will get back to them,” or “You don’t have all the information you need to make a decisions.”Ask lot’s of questions – This will help you sort out their demands and determine what they want.
It is a matter of perspective• What do you see in the picture?• Some people see an eagle and a beaver, and other things.Questions:• Why do some people see an young or old woman, beaver, or eagle?• Is there a right way to see them?• How did you feel about those who saw it differently? The same?• Was there ever a time when you saw something one way and some else saw it differently?
Conflict – can be a matter of perspective• Two people can look at the same picture and see something different without either being wrong, how might this affect a conflict?• If something is more serious such as if someone is pro life or pro choice, is there right or wrong?• What if each person sees the situation a different way? How can they figure out a resolution to the conflict if they are both right?
What did the blind men see?• The moral of the story is that each one of us sees things exclusively within one’s point of view. We should also try to understand other people’s points of view. This will enable us to get a proper perspective on different situations and events.
Chapter 8 Encourage Supportive CommunicationDifferent types of communication create supportive and defensive climates in personal relationships. Interpersonal climates occur on a continuum confirming to disconfirming. Confirming messages recognize that another person exists, acknowledge that another matters to us, and endorse what we believe is true. Disconfirming messages deny the person’s existence, indicate the other person does not matter to us, and reject another person’s feelings or thoughts.
Rewind - Say it better! Disconfirming vs. confirmingChange evaluation to description You’re acting very immaturely.Example:“I notice that you are getting upset by this situation.”Change certainty to provisionalism The right thing to do is crystal clearExample: “The right thing to do can be difficult to decide.”Change strategy to spontaneity Don’t you owe me a favor from when I typed that paper for you last term?Example, “Remember the term paper I helped you with last term? Do you think you could help me out with one of my own?”Change control orientation to problem orientation I think we should move where I have the good job offer since I earn a larger salary than you anyway.Example, “In terms of moving, what decision will make the most sense for us in terms of our financial position as well as our relationship?Change neutrality to empathy I can’t believe you got yourself into such a dumb predicament. Example, “This is tricky situation. Let’s see what we can do to help you address it.”Change superiority to equality I don’t want to get involved in your disagreement. Example, “I can see where you’re coming from with this, and based on what you’ve said, it seems like it might be best to talk with Susan directly about this issue.”
Respond Constructively to CriticismRefusing to accept criticism is likely to erect barriers or affect job performance reviews.Seek more information - asking questions, paraphrasing what you have heard to reduce tension.Consider the criticism thoughtfully – Is it valid?If you decide the criticism is valid, consider whether you want to change how you act.Thank the person who offered the criticism – sometimes is disarming and keeps the door open for communication in the future.Sometimes people are just difficult to deal with. They can be: rude, inconsiderate, or just crazymakers. This calls for you to protect yourself.
GROUPTHINK “How could we have been so stupid?”Q: Who knows where that quote came from?
GROUPTHINKA: John F. Kennedy’s response to his and his advisers decision to invade the Bay of Pigs.The decision making process of this event and others, such as:• Watergate, the crash of flight 173, and the Monica scandal have been studied and identified as GroupthinkQ: Why did JFK think their actions were stupid. He and his advisors were competent and intelligent?
GROUPTHINK Q: How many of you avoid situations that might involve conflict? Most people do not like conflict Groupthink is the absence of conflict Group members go along with the other group members (because they are afraid of authority or of making waves) Conflict provides differentideas and points of view that Group members close themselves off to if shared and discussed can input from those outside the group led to greater ideas and ultimately a better end. Group members become paralyzed and unable to see the errors of their ways To avoid Groupthink allow some conflict…you’ll feel better in the end
Chapter 9 – Leadership 5 point exercise1) When you think of leadership what comes tomind?2) Who do you think is a (past/recent) goodleader? Why?3) Do you consider yourself a leader? Why?4) Leadership style – Do after answering theabove questions.
Leadership – Chapter 11Q: What do they have incommon?
Industry/Media Leaders The Billionaire Club• Two-thirds of the wealthiest people in the U.S. added to their fortunes, boosting their average net worth by $400 million to a record $4.2 billion. ~ Forbes Magazine
Chapter 9 - LeadersDefinition:Behavior or communication that influences,guides, directs, or controls a group.Dennis Gouran – suggests leadership constitutesthat behavior when groups experience difficultyestablishing the conditions necessary for makingthe best possible choices.
What is a strong leader ~ Forbes Magazine• Strong leaders are great communicators not talkers• How do they communicate?• Communicate using social networks• They write blogs, articles and use the media to discuss financial information, corporate vision and strategy• They review values and culture• They note accomplishments and celebrate progress• They also teach, encourage, inspire and motivate• They express appreciation and gratitude• They reassure and calm those around them• They are articulate and never condescending
Forbes - Great Leaders • Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States, serving from March 1861 until his assassination in April 1865. • Two minute speech in 1863 at Gettysburg in the middle of the most bloody war • He stood where many had died to encourage Americans to fight on for the survival of representative democracy • “Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” • He ended slavery in the US by signing the Emancipation Proclamation.Lincoln the movie –Reviewers say it is Greatest strengths: Determination, persistence, beliefs, greatest political and courage. movie.
Forbes - Great Leaders John Wooden, ULCA •Taught his team how to win •How to be great men •He was soft spoken, humble, but led by example •Has written many books on leadership
Forbes - Great Leaders • George Washington, the founding father of the United States. • Leader of the American Revolution and the first president of the U.S. • His vision has endured more than 200 years Greatest strengths: • Foresight • Vision • Strategic planning • His ability to lead people to success.
Forbes - Great Leaders • Prime Minister of Britain from 1940 to 1945. • Churchill led Great Britain against the Nazi Germany during the World War II. • He had seen the potential problem with the Germans after WWI and wanted to Brits to engage in WWII early on, but the Brits wouldn’t. • When Britain became desperate they called him after retirement. Greatest traits: • Fearlessness • Determination • Unyielding perseverance • Undying devotion to his goal
Forbes - Great Leaders • Nelson Mandela was the first S. African president elected in fully democratic elections. • Mandela was the main players in the anti- apartheid movements in the country and served a 30 year prison sentence because of being an apartheid. Greatest traits: • Determination to change apartheid • Persistence • Focus • And, will • No fear of being jailed.
Forbes - Great Leaders • Steve Jobs co-founded Apple Computers with Stephen Wozniak. Under his guidance • The company pioneered a series of revolutionary technologies, including the iPhone and iPad. Greatest Traits: 1) The consummate salesman • The most visible element of Jobs’s success was his ability to convince people that they absolutely had to have whatever it was that he had to offer. 2) The incredible judge of consumer behavior • Other companies do focus groups to ask what customers want. That never worked for Steve Jobs, because he knew what people wanted long before they themselves knew. 3) The perfectionist • Attention to detail has long been a hallmark of Apple’s products and much of that can be attributed to the relentless focus of Steve Jobs. Jobs pushed himself hard and everyone around him hard. • The result was that workers were pushed to deliver things that they themselves didn’t think possible.
Authoritian Leadership• Adolf Hitler was extremely authoritarian. He required the population of the Third Reich to accept everything that he said as absolute law, and was able to impose a death sentence on anyone who failed to do so. Hitler was obsessed with being in control, and with being the alpha male in a rigid male dominance hierarchy.• Martha Stewart constructed her empire through her own special attention to every detail. She was meticulous, demanding, thorough and scrupulous. She flourished in her ventures and in using her authoritarian leadership style. 
Democratic LeadershipConsensus Takers - Leader gets input fromeveryone – Bill Clinton an example – Polled all andthen made a decision.Other example - Dwight D. Eisenhower•Eisenhower was one of Americas greatestmilitary commanders and the thirty-fourthPresident of the United States.
Autocratic Leadership• Autocratic leadership style works well if the leader is competent and knowledgeable enough to decide about each and everything.• Authoritative is considered one of the most effective leadership styles in case there is some emergency and quick decisions need to be taken.• Bill Gates adopted this style and has steered Microsoft toward great success. According to Bill Gates, he had a vision when he took reins of the company and then used all the resources available to make that vision a reality.• In the personal computer workplace, many operating conditions call for urgent action, making this style of leadership effective. While Gates does not exhibit this style consistently, his success can be judged by his decision making process and the growth of the computer industry in the world.[1