Dance Moms: Costume Designing The team that has formed is dance moms to design costumes for both teams, the Entertainers (they are the “triple threat” team because they sing, dance, and act) and the Legends (they are the competition team). Some of the dances they are doing this season do not have costumes that would match the story or character, which has us making the costumes. Since there are so many of us, we decided to split up into smaller groups because it was easier to work on the costumes. We didn’t really have multiple roles; there were mostly leaders and followers who helped with ideas. Those of us who were leaders incorporated many characteristics of a good leader, even though we did not know we had. There are seven habits that can help with how we work together to achieve the best options and outcomes. Also, the style of leadership we use can be effective or ineffective in what we are trying to accomplish together. My Team We are a group of moms who have to come up with costumes that need to be made because there are not any pre-made costumes that will be suitable for the dances that either of the dance teams are doing this season. There are many of us and so we have split into sub-groups to be able to know what we want for particular parts of the dances. The team that I am a part of is Gazelle/Wildebeest/Hyena; we haven’t really named our group. The members of this group are Amber Evett, Kimberly Pitts, Mackenzie McKinney, Sharon Frix, Rachel Harbin, and myself. Most of us are stay-at-home moms, but there are some who work and we usually talk by phone, e-mails, text messages, and at the dance studio. We had set up times for us to meet and work on certain costumes to be able to help each other. This way no one feels like they are overwhelmed by these costumes. Team Interaction/Role For the gazelle antlers, I was a leader. We were concerned about how to place the antlers on the girls’ heads without them sliding or falling off during the dance. I had thought about it long and hard and came up with a way by attaching the antlers to a headband then by putting a beanie cap (much like what is seen with the girl scouts’ uniforms) over the antlers and headband. We then attach a clear chin strap and also secure them with bobby pins. For the wildebeest, the leader was Amber Evett because was able to figure out the best way to make masks that portrayed what the girls were without being too bulky. Then for the hyena, the leader was Sharon Frix because she had access to the materials we needed to make the ears and other parts of the costume. The team members who were not leaders helped with ideas and making costumes. This setup worked for us because we know each other very well due to the fact that we see each other at a minimum of four days a week. The ones who were not leaders kept telling us they are not crafty and did not know how to make these costumes, even though the rest of us knew better and encouraged them to.

1. Dance Moms: Costume Designing
The team that has formed is dance moms to design costumes for
both teams, the Entertainers (they are the “triple threat” team
because they sing, dance, and act) and the Legends (they are the
competition team). Some of the dances they are doing this
season do not have costumes that would match the story or
character, which has us making the costumes. Since there are
so many of us, we decided to split up into smaller groups
because it was easier to work on the costumes. We didn’t really
have multiple roles; there were mostly leaders and followers
who helped with ideas. Those of us who were leaders
incorporated many characteristics of a good leader, even though
we did not know we had. There are seven habits that can help
with how we work together to achieve the best options and
outcomes. Also, the style of leadership we use can be effective
or ineffective in what we are trying to accomplish together.
My Team
We are a group of moms who have to come up with costumes
that need to be made because there are not any pre-made
costumes that will be suitable for the dances that either of the
dance teams are doing this season. There are many of us and
so we have split into sub-groups to be able to know what we
want for particular parts of the dances. The team that I am a
part of is Gazelle/Wildebeest/Hyena; we haven’t really named
our group. The members of this group are Amber Evett,
Kimberly Pitts, Mackenzie McKinney, Sharon Frix, Rachel
Harbin, and myself. Most of us are stay-at-home moms, but
there are some who work and we usually talk by phone, e-mails,
text messages, and at the dance studio. We had set up times for
us to meet and work on certain costumes to be able to help each
other. This way no one feels like they are overwhelmed by
these costumes.
Team Interaction/Role

2. For the gazelle antlers, I was a leader. We were concerned
about how to place the antlers on the girls’ heads without them
sliding or falling off during the dance. I had thought about it
long and hard and came up with a way by attaching the antlers
to a headband then by putting a beanie cap (much like what is
seen with the girl scouts’ uniforms) over the antlers and
headband. We then attach a clear chin strap and also secure
them with bobby pins. For the wildebeest, the leader was
Amber Evett because was able to figure out the best way to
make masks that portrayed what the girls were without being
too bulky. Then for the hyena, the leader was Sharon Frix
because she had access to the materials we needed to make the
ears and other parts of the costume. The team members who
were not leaders helped with ideas and making costumes. This
setup worked for us because we know each other very well due
to the fact that we see each other at a minimum of four days a
week. The ones who were not leaders kept telling us they are
not crafty and did not know how to make these costumes, even
though the rest of us knew better and encouraged them to help
us with ideas.
My Role
My part in this team depended on which costume we were
working on or talking about. I was the leader over the gazelle
costume and follower for the wildebeest and hyena costumes.
We decided that we did not want to overwhelm anyone by
having one person oversee all the costumes we were working on
because some have work, other children, or school to handle as
well. Many of us had incorporated different characteristics of a
good leader, regardless if we knew it at the time or not. Such as
it was stated by UOregon.edu (2009), being proactive because
we always have to think about what the parts of the costumes
will do and how to prevent them from falling off or other
problems that could arise. The leaders, whether it was Amber,
Mackenzie, or me, were flexible, open minded, and
communicated with the rest of the group because we knew that
we may be leaders, but needed the thoughts and opinions of

3. them because we are a team and working towards the same goal.
It was important to the leaders to work together and encourage
each other because even though we were together a lot of times,
there were times that we would not work on the costumes
together and wanted the rest of the team know they have support
and believed in.
The change that I would try to influence would be to start on
costumes earlier and have designated groups for each dance that
would meet about once a week to know how each sub-group is
doing with their costume or prop. There were some problems
that arose with the prop dads because the props were not
delegated to a few on each prop. This change would prevent
those problems because certain dads would do specific props or
tasks of those props and this is what the moms tried to prevent
with how we made the costumes. Then each member of costume
teams would get specific tasks because some have access to
materials that others may not. Then the sub-groups would meet
to discuss or help each other because there could be problems
that were not expected and need advice from others to correct
the problem.
7 Habits
The seven habits of an effective leader or person is: (1) to be
proactive, (2) begin with the end in mind, (3) put first things
first, (4) think win-win, (5) seek first to understand, then to be
understood, (6) synergize, (7) sharpen the saw. To be
proactive, the leader is taking responsibility instead of blaming
others (Covey, 1990). This along with the other habits is
important because the leader is a glory hound who only takes
responsibility when things operate properly and blame others
when things do not. Begin with the end in mind, this habit is
about visualize what you want first and then create it
physically, just as a building is created (Covey, 1990). This
could be used as a way of thinking about what we want the
costumes to look like and how they are to be used. This habit is
a way to look ahead and prevent problems from occurring,
especially since it is to be used by people other than ourselves.

4. Put first things first, this habit is to have a plan to know what
the roles are and the priorities (Covey, 1990). Basically, it is
about managing time and life because if things are not laid out
of what needs to be done then a vital step could be overlooked
and then problems can happen. For example, building a house,
it needs a solid foundation before the walls, roof, and fixtures
can be put into place. If the ground is not leveled before
pouring the foundation, the foundation will not be level and that
will lead to the walls not being level. By the end of the house
being built, the house would not be level and may not be
noticed until something is put in place such as counters and the
dishes may not stay in place. Think win-win, this is about
thinking how certain aspects can be good for all involved
instead of just you. This can be achieved through approaching
conflicts with integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality
(Covey, 1990). We want to be the winner, but when working
with others, we have to think about what is best for everyone
and realize that we stay true to ourselves, express our thoughts,
feelings, or opinions without getting upset if someone does not
agree, and realize that there are enough things for everyone to
do and that we do not have to do it all. Which leads to the next
habit of first seek to understand, then to be understood; this is
about the way we communicate (Covey, 1990). If we do not
understand what is going on, then we will not be able to
effectively get others to understand what we are trying to
convey. We might be saying the same thing, but in different
ways and it could lead to misunderstandings or other problems
that could have been avoided by questions being asked.
Synergize is basically about the saying two heads are better
than one (Covey, 1990). It is always good to get and give ideas
because what one person may have thought about might add to
the project or situation that we may not have thought about.
Then the last habit, sharpen the saw, is about enhancing and
taking care of what we have (Covey, 1990). We see what we
have and know what needs to be done to take care of it but we
tend to get busy with other things and forget to do what is

5. needed. This is a way of adding to what we already have and
making it better by not letting it become neglected.
Dissonant and Resonant Leadership
As it is discussed in the lectures of South University Online
(2014), “resonant leadership is when leaders drive
organizational members’ emotions in the positive direction.
These leaders tend to be visionaries and are said to have a high
level of emotional intelligence. Dissonant leadership is when
leaders drive members’ emotions in a negative direction. These
leaders tend to be more commanding.” After examining what
the two styles mean, I tend to believe that the resonant
leadership would work best for my group because we are all
working toward the same goal. Instead of having orders
“barked” at us, we would work better by encouraging each other
and getting ideas from each other.
Conclusion
We are a big group of dance moms who have to work together to
make costumes for dances and to be able to achieve the best
costumes, we divided into sub-groups. We did not have
specific roles other than leader and follower over certain
costumes to make it less stressful on any one person. We tend
to not think about our characteristics that we use because it is
almost second nature in how we work together. For example,
the characteristics of what makes a good leader or the different
habits that make an effective person. Also, the leadership style
affects the way a situation or project is handled. We have
worked together to the point that we know without thinking
about it that the best way to achieve our goal is to be supportive
and encourage each other to come up with ideas.
Reference
Covey, S. R. (1990). The 7 habits of highly effective people:
Powerful lessons in
personal change. New York, NY: Fireside.
South University Online. (2014). MGT3102: leadership: Week
1: leadership defined.
Retrieved from http://myeclassonline.com

6. UOregon.edu. (2009). Leadership characteristics. Retrieved
from
http://leadership.uoregon.edu/resources/exercises_tips/skills/lea
dership_characteristics
Dance Moms’ EI and Communication
Emotional Intelligence is experienced every day. We may not
realize how much it affects our current or potential relationships
because many do not understand the different competencies of
emotional intelligence. Another aspect of our daily lives is
communication. We communicate with each other in ways that
may be fine with some and offensive to others such as body
language, tone, facial expressions, and how we listen.
Communication between leaders and team members is vital in
keeping the team knowledgeable about what needs to be done,
when it is to be done by, and why. Just as it is important for a
leader to communicate with the team members, it is equally
important for team members to communicate with the leader and
each other. In addition, the leadership style that is used can
affect the way the team responds and willingness to complete
the tasks at hand.
Emotional Intelligence Analysis
The leaders handle their emotions pretty well. For what
the team is working on, the leaders are able to handle their
emotions. They are aware of their emotions at the time and they
use positive emotions to encourage the team to keep trying,
such as a smile or words that can inspire them (Amendolair,
2003). I have noticed, including myself, that there are times
when the leaders get a little stressed and are either quiet or keep
to themselves. The leaders are not a resonant leader as it is
defined or described by Amendolair (2003), a good resonant
leader is able to understand their strengths by knowing the gaps
of what they think they are and what they actually are.
The team seems to handle their emotions about the same as the
leaders. However, they do get overwhelmed by all the costumes
that are to be made. The team’s emotional intelligence is about

7. average. They know about their emotions, but not fully aware
of how it may be perceived by others. The leaders can help
them to develop this by quietly talking to them about how some
may be seeing some emotions as negative because people mimic
the emotions they see or hear. For example, one of the team
members was in a bad mood from an argument she had earlier
before meeting with the team and it affected the mood of at
least one of the of other team members.
The leaders could enhance the team’s emotional intelligence by
examining what the team’s strength is and lead by example of
those strengths. They can also see the areas that are the
weakest and set a standard to show how those weaknesses can
be improved. For example, team member “A” did not know the
situation that team member “B” was dealing with and
misunderstood the emotions and signals that team member “B”
was putting out. Team member “A” thought these were aimed
at her. At first, things were tense because of misunderstanding
of team member “B”’s feelings, but then it eventually came out
and the team member felt bad for misunderstanding. This is
where one leader could look at what caused the
misunderstanding of team member “B”’s emotions and how to
gain a better understanding, such as simply asking if something
is wrong and if they can help in anyway.
Leader Communication Style
Some of the leaders have a clear and direct communication
style (the message is straight to the point and there is not as
many misunderstandings) and others have a clear and indirect
communication style (the message is clear, but not directed
towards the person) (NDSU.edu, nd). The ones who have a
clear and direct communication style seem to have a better
understanding between them and the team members than the
ones who have a clear and indirect. Also, it seems like the
leaders who have a clear and direct communication style use
persuasive to get a task done. The reason it seems like this is
because they tend to let others know their opinion and their
experience of doing something similar. They explain the pros

8. and cons of doing things the way they think a task can be done
and then asking if anyone has any other suggestions. One
particular leader who has a clear and indirect communication
style uses manipulation. This leader says this is how they have
done something similar and this is how it should be done
because it worked great that time and was not as time
consuming, and it is more cost effective. This leader also does
not really give the others a chance to let their opinions be
known.
The communication style that is the most dominant within
the team would probably be persuasive because it is a way to
get something done without forcing any particular idea to
happen, but to explain both sides of what can happen. This
style works best because no one feels like they are forced into
something they do not want to do. The leaders who use
persuasion get a better response from team members because
they feel like they have an option or can offer their opinions.
The leader who uses manipulation does not get as well of a
response because the team members do not like being forced to
do something other than what they already are with dance.
Some have even stopped coming to meetings when that leader is
there because they do not want to be talked to like children and
feel like they are being told by their parents what needs to be
done.
Team Communication Style
The team seems to use more of a persuasive communication
style because it is what they respond better too. They interact
and participate more when they are given the pros and cons of
ways to accomplish a goal with a certain costume. They are not
looking to take away from the leaders, but to add to what the
leaders are trying to do. As it has been discussed many times
during meetings, we are making these costumes for the girls and
not for our egos or personal satisfaction. The team members
discuss their concerns with the leaders or make suggestions
about different ways to make one costume. Most of the times,
their concerns or suggestions are taken into consideration

9. because these costumes add to the stage presence of the dancers
and none of the team members or leaders want the costumes to
cause problems while they are being worn. They know their
opinions matter and they are more than welcome to come to any
of the leaders.
Philosophy, Style, and Action Steps
As it is stated by Northouse (2014), theory X is when people do
not like to work, they need to be told what to do, and they want
security, but not the responsibility; however, theory Y is when
people like to work, they are self-motivated, and they take
responsibility for what they do. After examining the two
theories, the one that is noticed within the team members and
leaders (for the most part) is theory Y. The reason this is the
one that is noticed more is everyone wants to do what is
necessary to get the costumes ready in addition to what they
need to do outside the team to prepare the dance team for
performances or competitions.
The leadership style that I have adopted from the time that I
was a crew trainer and even now is a democratic because I
believe that after a person is shown how to do something that
they are more than capable of handling the task (Northouse,
2014). Although there are times when I am needed to be more
authoritarian because of certain tasks need more direction or
specific type of person rather than being democratic or friends.
There are not many actions to improve or enhance the
leadership style in the team, but more would get done and the
atmosphere would be better if one leader, who tries to use
manipulation to get things done, would offer more suggestions
and guidance than orders. Some people see criticism as a bad
thing, but if it was given to someone in a more positive way, it
could help everyone to know that what they did was not all bad
but there is or could be a better solution.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence is a big part of our lives. It is how
we use it or respond to it that affects the outcome of the
situations we are dealing with at the time. Communication is

10. another major part of our lives because we communicate with
words and non-verbally. It is like emotional intelligence, we
may not realize what we say or do, but it affects the way our
message is understood. We may say something with words, but
our non-verbal communications can say something else, which
can cause misunderstandings. Leadership styles also add to how
well a team works together. If a leader is strictly using
authoritarian where another style can be used in addition to that,
the team will eventually grow tired of that and not be as willing
to do what is needed. A leader needs to know when to be
authoritarian, democratic, or lassiez-faire and when to use
another style because there are times when more than one style
can be used. Being a good leader is more than being the head of
a group, but knowing how to interact with the group, what the
needs are, and what style of leadership is needed.
Reference
Amendolair, D. (2003). Emotional intelligence. Nurse Leader,
1(6), 25-27.
doi:10.1016/j.mnl.2003.09.009
NDSU.edu. (nd). Communication styles. Retrieved from
www.ndsu.edu
Northouse, P. (2014). Introduction to Leadership: Concepts and
Practice [VitalSouce bookshelf
version]. Retrieved from
http://digitalbookshelf.southuniversity.edu/books/978148332416
6/epubcfi/6/26