2. • Move out of comfort zone and confront fears to meet other women on
emotional, sexual, spiritual, and intellectual levels
• Common fears- coming out, rejection, intimacy,
commitment, sex, abandonment, enmeshment
• Initial questions when starting to date
“Is it a date or just coffee?”
• How do experiences compare to traditional gender
roles in straight relationships?
• Who asks out who?
• Who pays?
• Who makes the first sexual move?
• Find partners through…
• Long term friends, friends of friends, co-workers, bars/nightclubs, poetry
readings/open mikes, lesbian-focused dating services/speed dating,
online chats/dating services, joining ongoing queer groups/organization,
• Communication is key!
3. • Being in a relationship involves
• Planning lives with a partner
• Helping each other through personal changes/difficulties
• Working through conflicts
• Sometimes having children
• Groundwork for building connections and a relationship
• Getting to know one another
• Successful relationships need
• Healthy balance between closeness and distance
• individual self- assurance
• Encouragement from each other to grow as individuals
4. • Pay attention to the balance of power
• Do not take advantage of power imbalance
• Address it with fair communication, respect, and love
• Be aware of real world and interpersonal power
differences. Discuss impact of differences on each
individual and on the relationship.
• Real world power differences- skin color, gender, ability, education,
financial recourses, physical size, age
• Interpersonal power differences- ability to express
feelings, comfort with oneself, verbal quickness
5. • Acknowledge and celebrate differences
• Honor each other, learn more about self and partner
• Types of differences
• Race and ethnicity
• Age
• Tension and power imbalance
• Class and nationality
• Health issues/disabilities
• Gender identity, sexual orientation
• Health and physical ability
• Religious/spiritual beliefs
• Political values
• Unique methods of self expression
6. • Find people who are supportive and accepting
• Share similar experiences, feelings, and questions
• Affirming and life enhancing
• Supportive and diverse
communities
• Immediate network of family and
friends
• Support groups
• Individual/group therapy
• LGBT centers
• Online email communication
• Religious/ spiritual centers
7. Navigating
Homophobia & Getting Support
Heterosexism Raising Children
• Caught between cultural • Creating a supportive
upbringing and desire to community is necessary
find love • Good sources of support
• Homophobic & • Ex-partner whom had child
Heterosexist attitudes in with
society are produced • Groups with other LBTQ
mothers
through ignorance and
• Queer-friendly straight
intolerance parents
• It is not your fault!
8. • Already have a strong • Getting Married
foundation of love, mutual • Private commitment, small
respect, open communication ceremony, big traditional
ceremony, forge partnerships
• Emotional, spiritual, and/or
legal pledges to each other • Not supported by all
• Private or public • Public ceremonies
• Affirm identities
• Living Together • Honor commitments
• More opportunities for emotional • Celebrate new family
and sexual interaction • Making it Legal
• Fulfill desire to share life fully with • Ongoing debates and changes to
another woman queer civil rights
• Need more negotiation and
responsibility to each other
• Integrate lives but still have
personal time
9. Why do you think it is so significant for gay women to
create supportive communities?
