Stu Hirst - Imposter Syndrome 2024 - Presented at Cloud Expo Europe (Cyber Keynote Theatre)
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Presented at the Cyber Keynote Theatre at Cloud Expo Europe, March 2024. What Is Imposter Syndrome? How does it manifest itself? Why is is prevalent in Cyber Security? What can you do about it? My personal journey of largely overcoming Imposter Syndrome in a 14 year security career.
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Stu Hirst - Imposter Syndrome 2024 - Presented at Cloud Expo Europe (Cyber Keynote Theatre)
- 1. STU HIRST
- 2. 2 Imposter Syndrome 2024 Disclaimers; I like memes. I don’t take myself too seriously. I have had / have Imposter Syndrome.
- 3. 3 Imposter Syndrome 2024 What Are We Going To Talk About What is Imposter Syndrome? How does it manifest itself? Why is it prevalent in Security? What can you do about it?
- 4. 4 Imposter Syndrome 2024 SHOW OF HANDS PLEASE!!! What is Imposter Syndrome?
- 5. 5 Imposter Syndrome 2024 What is Imposter Syndrome? “I feel like a fake” “I don’t deserve to be here” “I’m lucky” “I’m out of my depth” “I’ve bluffed my way into this” “I’m going to get ‘found out’ soon”
- 6. 6 Imposter Syndrome 2024 Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a "fraud"
- 7. 7 Imposter Syndrome 2024 The 5 Types Of Imposter Which one are you?!
- 8. 8 Imposter Syndrome 2024 The Perfectionist: You set your goals too high - when you don’t reach them, you think you’re a failure
- 9. 9 Imposter Syndrome 2024 The Superman/ Superwoman: You work crazy hours to make up for your perceived ‘lack of ability’
- 10. 10 Imposter Syndrome 2024 The Genius: The idea that by having to work hard at something, that in itself is failure
- 11. 11 Imposter Syndrome 2024 The Individualist: That if you have to ask for help, you’ve already failed “I can do this myself”
- 12. 12 Imposter Syndrome 2024 The Expert: You’ve ‘tricked’ your way into your job and will be ‘found out’ at some point
- 13. 13 Imposter Syndrome 2024 What Is It Connected To? Family expectations Overprotective parent(s) or legal guardian(s) Racial identities Anxiety Depression Lower trait self-esteem Being a perfectionist Excessive self-monitoring, with an emphasis on self-worth* *this is my one!
- 14. 14 Imposter Syndrome 2024 Where Does It Manifest Itself For Me: - Board Meetings - I feel I need to portray an ‘image’ of absolute excellence - ELT - ‘Can I show these people I deserve to be here’ - Sometimes With My Team - ‘Am I decent leader?’ - ‘Does this even make sense / is valuable?’ - ‘How can I give guidance when I don’t know the answer?’ - ‘Can I show vulnerability in this scenario?’
- 15. 15 Imposter Syndrome 2024 Where Does It Manifest Itself For Me: - As a Dad - ‘I literally have no idea what I am doing’ - ‘How can I manage the overwhelmingness of it all’ - ‘The expectation on me is too great’ - ‘I make too many mistakes’ - As a Husband - ‘I don’t deserve you’ - As a Friend - ‘You’re all so much stronger than me / more resilient / smarter / funnier / less of a d*ck
- 16. 16 Imposter Syndrome 2024 Why Does It Appear So Prevalent In Cyber Security?
- 19. 19 Imposter Syndrome 2024 Imposters Can Make It! You can make it!
- 20. 20 Imposter Syndrome 2024 7 Things You Can Do About It 1. Give up caring whether you are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ 2. The other people in the room often don’t know the answer either 3. The worst outcome is nowhere near as bad as you think it might be 4. Seniority is not a sign of someone being ‘better’ than you 5. Understand that you will fail. Repeatedly. 6. Try and embrace praise 7. Remove ‘luck’ from your accomplishments
- 22. 22 Imposter Syndrome 2024 What Have We Learned? ● Imposter Syndrome is very real and prevalent in Cyber Security ● Lots of us feel this way! ● It manifests in many forms, including in personal lives ● There are lots of ways to combat it
- 23. 23 Imposter Syndrome 2024 And The Final, Most Important Piece Of Advice!!!!!! BUY THAT PERSON AT THE BAR THAT LIKES YOU, A DRINK!!!
- 24. 24 Imposter Syndrome 2024 Thoughts To Leave You With YOU can (and probably are doing!) these things YOU are awesome YOU are helping shape our online world for generations to come
Editor's Notes
- Hi, I’m Stu Hirst, I’m the CISO at Trustpilot and I’m an Imposter. Delighted to be here today. ***more INTRO***
- I have some disclaimers, in case you haven’t seen me before. I have spent over 25 years in IT and nearly 14 of those now in Cyber Security. I have worked at companies such as The Trainline, Skyscanner, Capital One, Just Eat and I have just hit the 3 year mark as CISO of leading reviews site Trustpilot. Throughout those 14 years, I have had Imposter Syndrome, something I have largely been able to conquer and have spoken publicly about now for a number of years. I still turn up to work daily not really knowing what I am doing!
- Can we have a show of hands? Who has heard of the term Imposter Syndrome? Who believes they have it, if they have heard of it?
- So these are some of the common feelings associated with Imposter Syndrome, I wonder if any of them relate or you can recognise them.
- Here’s the Wikipedia definition
- So in researching Imposter Syndrome over the years, I discovered that it manifests itself in a number of ways, or can be described in numerous types. As I run through these, see if any resonate with you.
- The first one is the Perfectionist. You might be someone who sets such a high bar consistently, that when you fail, you feel like an Imposter for that failure. Imposter Syndrome does seem to be an issue with particularly high achieving people, so perhaps there’s a link here to goal setting or the constant desire to be better.
- Do you think your colleagues work harder than you? Do they seem to produce more output or have greater successes? This is all perfectly natural, but sometimes people try to over-work themselves into a position of greater comfort. This added time somehow makes up for your perceived lack of ability.
- Do you feel that most things you do are inherently difficult compared to others, or how others seem to find things? The Genius is the idea that because you have to work hard at something, because it wasn’t easy to you, that you perceive it as failure and Imposter Syndrome creeps in. I read a great quote that footballer Gary Neville received from his therapist during a time of failure. His therapist said “did you expect every day to go well?” In life and career, things often don’t go well and can exacerbate feelings of Imposter Syndrome.
- This is definitely one I have suffered from in the past. Being an individualist. “I got this, I can do it myself” - because the very definition of asking for help is perceived as failure or difficulty which makes you uncomfortable. There’s an irony that often the easiest and quickest way to solve a prob
- Now, this is me. The “expert”. A career of seemingly bluffing my way into many jobs by pretending I know something I don’t. The perpetual fear that someone will find out that I don’t actually know all that I say I do.
- I am not a Health professional or clinical psychologist, so I don’t pretend to know a lot about some of these connections, but it has been linked to these. I mentioned perfectionism earlier. My one is at the bottom there; excessive self monitoring with an emphasis on self worth. I overthink constantly, I have historically struggled with constructive feedback, I dislike conflict and I’m constantly analysing whether something is good enough.
- Now, you could argue that these are just natural doubts that anybody has about their abilities, as opposed to a strong Imposter Syndrome, but these are certainly where I feel it most.
- *** Dad section*** - I never thought I would be a Dad. It seemed such an unachievable thing. ***Husband*** - on the night I met my wife, I hadn’t realised that she was trying to get my attention (yes, she came on to me!!!). I walked past her. A friend said “I think you should go and buy her a drink, she’s over at that bar, I think she likes you”. I said “really? Me? Why?!”. I went over and bought her a drink or 5 and we’ve been married 10 years and have 2 children! When both partners feel the other is out of their league, they feel like imposters. So I think the message overall here is that Imposter Syndrome isn’t just a ‘career’ thing. It can be present in other parts of life, where you feel undeserving.
- This is just my perception and not based on data, but why does it appear to prevalent in cyber security? I definitely feel like I meet many more in cyber who feel this way, that other parts of Tech I have worked in. I have some views on why that might be.
- This is the main reason! :) Security is really hard. It’s career-long learning in an environment that changes almost daily. An ever mounting list of things to try and prevent or deal with. We’re not the only people with hard jobs, but we regularly simply don’t have the answers to problems yet. This doesn’t mean that every difficult job equals people with Imposter Syndrome, but we do work in a particularly crazy field of expertise.
- I tried to list out areas that we need to be knowledgeable in and could have listed 50 or more. Even in more specialised roles, there’s a base level of knowledge required and to keep up with. We often get dragged into areas that aren’t where our expertise lies. We deal with threat that changes almost daily, the goal posts are always being moved
- So I want to leave you with some ideas to think about to combat Imposter Syndrome. Imposters can make it - YOU can absolutely make it, to the levels you desire. It’s not a blocker to success, in career or life.
- So here are certainly some things that have worked for me over the years.
- So what have we learned?
- AND HERE’S MY FINAL PIECE OF ADVICE! BECAUSE EVEN AS AN IMPOSTER, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN.
- So huge thanks for being here and listening to the talk, I just want to leave you with these…. You are genuinely awesome and changing the world. Don’t let Imposter Syndrome prevent you from doing the things you want to do.