The document provides guidance on revising story leads. It discusses techniques for crafting engaging leads, such as beginning with action or setting the mood. It also offers examples of revising a student's original lead to be more compelling. The student's lead was revised to start closer to the main action and set up an important relationship between characters immediately. The document encourages students to study published leads and emulate successful techniques. It suggests rethinking the story plan and zooming in on key scenes when revising leads.

1. Writing and Revising
your Lead

2. Session 8: Studying Published
Texts to Write Leads
 Teaching Point: Today I want to teach you that just
when writers are most fired up to write-when they
have just written their lead-they force themselves to
pause. They review what they’ve written, and they
revise it. They revise the lead because by doing so, they
revise their entire story. Sometimes they do this with
help from a pro.

3. Review of Lead Writing
 When writing a short story you often need your lead to
start near the climax of the action.
 Imagine that the climax of your story is a waterfall –
when it begins you should already be able to hear the
fall in the distance

4. Writing Leads
1. Study published authors work – we looked at Neil
Gaiman and Rick Riordan – look at other books and
short stories for ideas to emulate
2. Think about your story plan – how much
background is needed to get the reader hooked?

5. Student Example
 Original lead:
It was a normal day in the life of Maya Young
Winters (me). I had had a loud noisy breakfast which
included two twin sisters screaming as my mother brushed
their hair, a dog howling for a piece of bacon and my father,
putting ketchup on toast like it was a normal think to do.
Then I’d left at promptly 7:27 to catch my bus. I’d laughed
at Anna Lou’s bad jokes, gotten through homeroom, first
and second period and lunch with my posse of friends:
May, Luna, and Ruby. Then around came sixth period.
Ms. Gulch was my science teacher and even her name
was terrible.

6. After looking at published authors she revised like
this:
The student decided to start more in the action. Even though she
liked all the stuff about Maya’s family, especially her Dad using
ketchup on his toast, she decided it was more important to set
up Ruby and Maya’s relationship right away and get them to
science class as fast as possible – since this is where the main
action of her story takes place.
Revised lead:
Ruby has been my best friend since we were in diapers, as
my mom would say. She is the most tender hearted person you
could ever know, and is scared of many things: spiders,
disappointing anyone in any way shape or form, and Ms. Gulch.
Ms. Gulch was our science teacher. Even her name was
terrible.

7. Techniques for crafting a lead:
 Begin with a small action against the backdrop of the
main setting
 Begin by setting up the mood using descriptive
language describing the feeling in the setting – then
begin the sequence of action
 Reveal the time and place slowly, bit by bit as your
main character moves around – describe it so we are
seeing through their eyes
 Foreshadow a central theme or idea by including an
image, line of dialogue or action that will be important
and be seen again in the story

8. Work Time – What to do – using the student
example
1. Rethink your story plan
 Figure out how you can zoom in more on your scene
and get closer to the main action
2. Work to revise your lead – eliminate extra details or
add some in using the chart on the board
3. Study published leads looking for things you can
emulate (try for yourself)
*Remember to use class anchor charts and handouts to
help in your revision work today!

9. Still struggling try this: Writing a
good beginning – Hook or Lead
 4 Types of Leads/Hooks
 Snapshot Lead - When you begin by creating a picture in
the readers mind
 Talking Lead - When you begin with a line or two of
dialogue or a short conversation
 Thinking Lead - When you begin with a thought inside
your characters head
 Misleading Lead - When you begin by setting up
expectations, and the surprise the reader
**Look at your lead and try selecting two of the ideas above
and rewrite your lead** Pick the original or one of the
rewrites and use it as your lead and keep going!