Wisdom For Life : Family Matters | Louis Kotze
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This document discusses the importance of family according to passages from Proverbs. It notes that wisdom builds a strong house and family, while trouble within the family inherits trouble. It is better to have little with peace than great wealth with turmoil. A meal with loved ones is better than a feast with those you hate. Righteousness blesses one's children. Disciplining children brings peace of mind. Training children in the right way leads them not to depart from it when older.
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Wisdom For Life : Family Matters | Louis Kotze
- 2. LOUIS KOTZE
- 4. Proverbs 24:3-4 NLT A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.
- 5. Proverbs 11:29a NLT Those who bring trouble on their families inherit the wind.
- 6. Family focus •Proverbs 15:16 NLT Better to have little, with fear for the LORD, than to have great treasure and inner turmoil. o Beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7) o Prolonged life (Proverbs 10:27) o Avoiding sin (Proverbs 16:6) o True wealth (Proverbs 22:4)
- 7. Family focus •Proverbs 15:17 NLT A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. •Proverbs 17:1 NLT Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting— and conflict.
- 8. Family fortune •Proverbs 20:7 NKJV The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.
- 9. Family fortitude •Proverbs 29:17 NLT Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
- 10. Family fulfillment •Proverbs 22:6 NASB Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Editor's Notes
- Teaser: A family need wisdom perhaps it is the place where we need it the most. Quotes: A Godly family is not only built on a foundation of the Word it also sees through the lenses of the Word.
- There is a case to be made that the most important place we need wisdom is at home in our families. We all know the devastating effects it has when things go wrong in families. It is no wonder Proverbs, this collection of wisdom had a lot to say about Family. We must remember that life on earth is short and that it has eternal ramifications. We want to live well on earth and we want to have eternal blessing.
- If we get things wrong at home not only do we suffer but we also forego our inheritance. We cannot afford to raise our children through trial and error, yes we will learn as we go and make mistakes but we also need to get the right help. Many experts have great opinions to only later do a 180 degree turn and change their tune. If we just follow the fads of our time we will get it wrong often. In 1946, Dr. Benjamin Spock first published his infamous book “Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care,” which was unlike any that came before it. Instead of stressing the importance of teaching self-denial and respect for authority, Spock discouraged directive training and emphasized accommodating children’s feelings and catering to their preferences. No longer did children learn they could endure Brussels sprouts and suffer through daily chores. Using Spock’s approach, parents began to feed self-indulgence instead of instilling self-control – homes were becoming child-centered. As parents elevated children’s “freedom of expression” and natural cravings, children became more outspoken, defiant and demanding of gratification. In fact, they came to view gratification as a right. Spock wrote his book in response to a cold, authoritarian philosophy of parenting that had been dominant in America. For years, parents had been told to withhold affection from their children – not to touch them too often – not to respond to their tears. Understanding of children had not been encouraged, and fathers had held a minor role in their nurture and care. These things distressed Spock, and they would have upset me had I been born back then. Children need our tender affection, understanding and respect. However, Spock’s solutions reflected total ignorance of the hedonistic bent of human nature and fostered an over-exalted sense of self-importance in children. Homes became hotbeds for narcissism, entitlement and victim thinking. Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2009/01/87179/#H7oVZ0amikJriEGG.99 But we can turn to God’s word and have eternal principles to guide us.
- So what does this book tell us about what the focus should be in our family. If we know what God’s priorities are then we can arrange our lives accordingly. We think the Focus is on material and emotional needs firstly. We often think that a family is about a safe place of shelter and providing education food and clothes. We may even aspire to give our children more than we had, to live better and have nicer things. While all those things have value Proverbs tells us that the fear of the Lord is the first priority in a family.
- Giving them love - Pr 15:17 a. Providing an environment where love reigns is more important than providing material abundance b. Troubled children come from homes where "love" is lacking, not money. Providing a peaceful family life - Pr 17:1 a. Where there is peace and tranquility in a family, material affluence matters little b. But what value is there in wealth, if we are always fighting over the things it provides? A wise father (or mother) realizes that spiritual provisions are more important than material ones a. They will see that the family receives what is truly important. b. Even it means cutting back on less important things. How do you arrange your life around this focus? We can be tempted to think that all this means is we must read the Bible together. It requires more than that, it requires that the Word becomes your foundation as well as your lenses.
- This does not however mean that we must suffer and not have our material needs met. In Matt 6:33 Jesus told us that if we make Him and His kingdom our first priority then he will look after our needs. How do you as a family love God and build His Kingdom. Engage with God through worship, prayer and reading. We do this at home and in community. Live lives consistent with God’s word. We let God’s word speak into our lives. We make sure that our choices and actions align with His word. We hold His word in the highest regard. We practice love. We treat others with respect and dignity, we serve and practice hospitality and generosity.
- To build families of fortitude, families with backbone and moral fiber, we must not only stand for what is right but also correct what is wrong. Discipline is a demonstration of true love. Proper discipline has proper objectives... a. To remove foolishness from the child - Pr 22:15 A youngster's heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away. b. To save the soul of the child - Pro 23:13 Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them. Pro 23:14 Physical discipline may well save them from death c. To impart wisdom and to avoid shame - Pr 29:15 To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child. Discipline is not merely punishment. It is not about punishing bad behaviour it is about bringing correction and instilling good behaviour. Discipline is to be done in love not anger and frustration. Be careful of letting something build up and then exploding in anger. Discipline must be consistent Discipline must involve discussion particularly as the child gets older. Discipline is aimed at self-discipline. It must equip the child to make their own decisions.
- As commonly translated: "train up a child in the way he should go" a. This allows for the common interpretation in which a child's outcome is virtually dependent upon his training, especially in spiritual matters 1) I.e., if the child is brought up right by godly parents the child must turn out all right 2) So if a child is not a faithful Christian, it must always be a failing of the parents b. But this view suggests "environmental predestination", or "behavioral determinism" (shades of B. F. Skinner, cf. his book "Walden II") 2. Literally, the verse can be translated: "train up a child according to his way" a. That is, train up a child according to his or her inclinations. b. For example, don't try to force a child who is mechanically inclined to be a doctor or a lawyer c. Rather, bring up a child according to his or her aptitude, and they will likely continue what they start out in life doing (i.e., no "mid-life" crisis or career changes) d. Therefore, this verse, like so many in Proverbs, is simply giving us practical advice in raising our children (without necessarily any spiritual implications) 3. However, I might add that trying to force a child to go against their "aptitude" may encourage a child to rebel in all areas of parental influence (including spiritual)