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WHO KILLED ALASKA
#17 - MIRROR MEMORIA: OFFICER
written by
Cameron Cooper LeBrun
DENVER [narrator]
You’re listening to part 2 of the four-part season finale. Before we get started, I thought you
should know that even when this episode gets scary, you’re still safe. Make sure to check the
description for content warnings, as this episode contains scenes that portray sensitive and
challenging situations involving law enforcement.
2
DENVER [narrator]
Boo is upstairs.
HOSPITAL ROOM.
BOO
Have so many clues… So close…
EMMA
We can figure this out, Boo.
HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM.
DENVER [narrator]
We’re downstairs.
BOBBY
Do we have a plan?
Denver groans.
DENVER [narrator]
Now two pairs of feet scuff the mat at the entrance of the hospital. The doors close. And I see
two people I’m sure I recognize.
Doors open.
3
DENVER
Bobby, do those two guys seem familiar to you?
BOBBY
Not at all.
LOGAN
Those’re Jo’s friends.
BOBBY
Kay?
DENVER
That’s right. Dylan and Dan. I don’t understand how you remember these things.
Logan sighs.
DENVER [narrator]
Do you think Jo really ever broke things off with Dylan or Dan? She brought them here. Jo
Magaro is a fickle breed. When you’re from Roslyn, breakups with friends are just a game of
play-pretend that lasts until the next week rolls in.
HOSPITAL ROOM.
JO
Yeah! Okay! Bye! See you soon.
4
Jo hangs up.
JO
Dylan and Dan are on their way.
DENVER [narrator]
Meanwhile, I’m in the waiting room watching them talk to security at the door. And I’m
wondering why the firemen in this town step heavy and wide even in hospitals. Boy. In this
moment, there’s so much I don’t know. You have no idea how much danger is in front of me, ten
feet away. I just know I’m gonna have to be clever with my wording cause throughout this
episode, this one’s gonna be quoted in local news, if not possibly every big paper in the country.
Jesus. Out of the frying pan, and in we fucking go.
5
THEME SONG STARTS
DENVER [narrator]
Welcome to Who Killed Alaska: Detective Files.
BOO
This is Who Killed Alaska: The Adventures!
DENVER [narrator]
I’m a private investigator looking for the killer.
BOO
And I’m the regular guy who’s gonna stop him.
BOO / DENVER [narrator]
Previously on Who Killed Alaska!
DENVER [clip - WKA16]
[—]Boo Curtis came to face a traumatic brain injury.
BOO [clip - WKA16]
[S]tress levels have been uncontrollable which is bad for concussion recovery
EMMA [clip - WKA16]
Boo you can’t work on the mystery right now. Your brain is injured, you’re healing.
BOO [clip - WKA16]
Don’t say Boo! Pass the ghost box!
BOO [clip - WKA16]
[—]and at first felt really defeated because high stress levels are a hormonal response to
injury[—]
6
BOO [clip - WKA16]
Don’t call “Boo.” Avoiding labels right now, including name.
BOO [clip - WKA16]
Don’t call “Boo.”
BOO [clip - WKA16]
Basically just framing as not a person so don’t have to inherit the pressures of living up to a
name like Boo.
BOO
And now, it’s time for the new episode!
DENVER [narrator]
Welcome back, bud.
BOO / DENVER [narrator]
This is Who Killed Alaska.
THEME SONG ENDS
7
DENVER [narrator]
The clock is ticking. We have 40 hours to solve the case and I haven’t slept, which is not ideal,
but I’m sober, which is definitely helping me stay up. Bobby takes a shift helping me out with
menial case tasks, and Jeremy takes a shift napping. And now he’s sleeping topless over five
chairs with his shirt over his face. We’re halfway across the waiting room and the hip hop music
in his earbuds is audibly buzzing.
Me and Bobby spend Jeremy’s naptime combing Google for news coverage on the storm.
And I tap the link to a Newsday article that gave the storm a mention, but they spared us on the
details. The storm destroyed St Francis Hospital’s facade, and it occurred on July 13th— which,
to be clear, was Alaska’s deathday. Every local paper was busy with Alaska’s violent death in the
middle of suburbia. I’m having to scroll past all the pictures of Alaska with his arms around his
closest friends.
So I’m spending these hours watching my hands shake. And while I’m doing that, I’m
sweeping at all the loud thoughts in my head so I can notice all the beeps in the hospital waiting
room. I count the beeps. I remind myself that today could be difficult. Today could be trying.
And I’m prepared to be scared and overwhelmed. Everything is worth a try, and a try is worth
your confidence.
Now we find ourselves with 40 hours until catastrophe, and in this moment, I recall that
trying my best has always been worth it. All those little moments have raised me until now. Here
in the hospital lobby, Jeremy’s just woken up. We come up with a plan— not for solving the
mystery. But for feeling well enough to solve the mystery.
8
HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM.
DENVER
Let’s take a reset.
Denver grunts like an old man.
DENVER
Get up, c’mon, get up. We’re gonna stretch.
LOGAN
I’m zonked.
DENVER
Oh, yeah? You’re good!
BOBBY
I’ll do it.
DENVER
I’m gonna stretch and then we’re gonna line up and we’re gonna get ready to solve this thing.
BOBBY
This is good. Stretches are good for my anger.
DENVER
We’re gonna line up like we’re in the army. You know why?
9
LOGAN
You remind me of Hillary Clinton giving an address. That’s not malicious, it hits me in waves.
You have her ass too.
DENVER
Hillary— We’re gonna line up like we’re in the army—
LOGAN
Yeah, you were saying.
DENVER
—because we have 40 hours left to solve the case. Starting now. And it’s not that 8 hours ago we
had 48 hours left— no, the timer starts now!
SOON.
DENVER
Now the clock starts. This case is impossible, but Boo is in danger. That’s gonna light a fire
under our tucheses. Earlier I wrote up all the clues, so you can use this for reference. Now, we’re
making a deal before I hand you my notes— I never show case notes to civilians, especially to
suspects of the crime. Now tell me you understand that.
LOGAN
Makes sense.
DENVER
But this—
10
BOBBY
I mean I’m not a civilian— ow.
DENVER
But this is a huge exception because this case has always been surreal and I’m trusting that Boo’s
actually at risk of dying. Obviously I contacted police but only as a formality. I mean, they won’t
be able to do anything. I can use my training, I have my 40 hours, and I have you two. I’m
sharing everything with you and hoping that at least one of you can help me solve this.
LOGAN
So just give it to us.
DENVER
Wait and listen. You’re going to make a promise to me. You are not gonna share this information
with Mr Boo. Period. And I’ll tell you why— the more he learns, the more he’s going to try to
solve the case and he won’t be able to.
LOGAN
I agree with that. He can’t help himself.
DENVER
Boo does— Exactly. Boo does not have the training, he does not have the information for how to
proceed in a case, and he’s recovering from a concussion, so right now he’s not supposed to be
doing any mental math. He’s not supposed to be reading, he’s not supposed to be writing, and
he’s definitely not supposed to be doing this. So in order to protect Boo, he needs to be left out of
this case. Prove to me that when you help me today, nothing that I know is getting to Boo.
11
LOGAN
Here’s my wallet. In forty hours, you can just give my stuff back to me.
DENVER
Good, I’ll take that! Good!
LOGAN
There’s my cash bail for you, dawg. You will find multiple paychecks.
DENVER
That’s, that’s great. Okay, Jeremy’s in. Jeremy’s safe.
BOBBY
I won’t tell Boo anything. You can trust me and I can prove that you can trust me. Do you want
me to prove it?
DENVER
Yes. What’re you doing? Just warn me first.
BOBBY
It might scare you.
DENVER [narrator]
Bobby puts one chainmail-lookin-ass combat boot forward and he steps straight into my body.
BOBBY
We need to go outside.
DENVER [narrator]
That’s Bobby talking directly into my ear.
12
DENVER
Why?
BOBBY
Just, you probably don’t want to know. So if I were you, I would just listen to me and go outside.
DENVER
Why?
BOBBY
So. I am a Luciferian witch, meaning I practice witchcraft that involves symbols such as
pentacles, sigils, anything that holds great power, and in my practice, it would be most
appropriate to perform a blood oath in this situation. I can easily curse myself so that if I share
information with Boo, I die, which is helpful to you to trust me.
DENVER
You know what? You know what? That, that’s ok. That’s fine.
BOBBY
Well I know it could scare the elderly present so I thought we could bring the ceremony outside,
but you said you don’t wanna go outside.
DENVER
Okay, I believe you. You’re not gonna tell Boo. I appreciate that, so uh. Let’s not do that. Can
you just give me your wallet?
DENVER [narrator]
And then he gives me his wallet.
13
HOSPITAL ROOM.
DENVER [narrator]
The moon is high in the window. Somewhere— somewhere very close by— my rival is gearing
up to destroy his mind and save his one and only brother.
BOO
(asleep) The lake… The lake… She’s not ready to die.
JO [muffled/distant]
He’s not waking up?
EMMA [muffled/distant]
No.
BOO
(asleep) At the bottom of this lake. Please. Without her… Who am I?
JO
WAKE UP!
Jo slaps Boo.
EMMA
Good morning. Uh. Uh. How are you feeling?
JO
Did you know that you talk normal in your sleep? How is it possible that your brain is smarter
than you?
14
BOO
Brain can’t be smarter than. Brain is. Let’s get to it. Need to save Alaska. And M-E. Don’t look
at a man while he’s putting on his shoes. It’s creepy.
JO
Sweetheart, I’m not watching you— now why are you hiding your toesies? Oh, Boo’s got secrets
in his toesies!
BOO
Let’s get to it.
JO
Alright then do you have time to say I lick toes?
EMMA
Boo didn’t say licking.
BOO
Don’t call Boo— Heh. Ok? Where’s Dylan and Dan?
JO
They’re investigating. Can we get on task please?
BOO
Investigating what?
JO
Focus on us! What’re we doing?
BOO
Fine! Ok! Guys, (yawns) sensing lotsa metaphysical shit went down.
15
Boo walks into the connected private bathroom.
BATHROOM.
BOO
Ugh! Breath!
JO
That means supernatural things happened the night Alaska died. Even at the hospital.
EMMA
I see.
BOO
(brushing teeth) Yeah cause the tornado’s fucking bizarre and— (spits) The tornado’s definitely
an overlapping of the physical and metaphysical world. It’s like the law of attraction where
everything that doesn’t belong in the world was attracted to the night of July 13th. That’s a
metaphor. No, wait, that’s— Guys. Don’t look at a man when he has toothpaste dripping out his
fucking teeth. Can have some fucking privacy?
EMMA
Sorry.
JO
Wow! Somebody’s upset! We’re gonna solve this.
BOO
Know that. Do seem like freaking out?— Oh gosh. Right.
16
JO
Now clean your fucking face. It’s disgusting.
EMMA
Everything’s fine.
Boo gargles.
BOO
Shut the fuck up, mirror guy.
EMMA
Me and all my homies hate the mirror guy.
Boo walks out of the bathroom.
BOO
Let’s just ask people if anything weird happened that night, right? Like what else are we gonna
do?
17
HALLWAY.
DENVER [narrator]
Boo, Emma, and Jo approach a nurse in the hallway.
BOO
Hi.
NURSE 3
Hi?
BOO
Sorry, this is weird. Do you know anybody who’s been working here for four years?
NURSE 3
You’re not supposed to be wandering around. You need to go back to your room.
BOO (unison)
Toilet’s broken.
JO (unison)
His toilet’s broken. Do you know Alaska Curtis?
NURSE 3
Yes?
JO
Well this is Alaska’s brother and he’d like to know if anybody’s been working here for at least
four years. Why don’t you help this boy out? ‘Kay?
DENVER [narrator]
And with a little convincing, that nurse tells them where to find a veteran orderly at the hospital.
18
ANOTHER HALLWAY.
BOO
Hi. Are you [BLEEP]?
DENVER [narrator]
We’ll be censoring her name for her protection.
ORDERLY
That’s me. I’m on my way back to go watch a bone get sawed open. What do you need?
EMMA
Ugh. He has a question! Boo?
BOO
Not Boo— Hi, so, were you working at St Francis in 2019?
ORDERLY
2020, 2019— Yup!
BOO
Were you working the night of the tornado?
ORDERLY
Actually, yeah, I was. When it broke the doors, I was close enough that I could hear the terrible
crunchy boom sound. I don’t know how to describe it.
BOO
Cool cool. So you were there. Did anything else weird happen that night?
ORDERLY
Aside from the tornado?
19
BOO
Yeah.
ORDERLY
Let me think. Yes. There was a medic who beat somebody up.
JO
We’re looking for something as weird as a random tornado happening on Long Island.
EMMA (unison)
I wanna help. I’m here too.
ORDERLY (unison)
Got it, are you guys into like, “there’s electromagnets in the air”? Like the “Occult Club” stuff?
BOO
Oh, so you’re like a rationalist.
EMMA
We’re! We’re— looking for stuff that’s weird and scary.
ORDERLY
I think it was decently weird that a medic beat up somebody he was helping out of an ambulance,
yeah.
BOO
Whose ambulance? Who were they helping?
ORDERLY
I dunno. I also can’t tell you, like, names and stuff.
20
EMMA
Can we talk?
BOO
We’re gonna go grab snacks. Are you gonna be here later?
ORDERLY
Absolutely not.
BOO
Okay, fuckin peace be with you, guess.
ORDERLY
Sure.
JO
What happened?
BOO
Emma has something. What’s up?
Emma whines nervously while taking off her backpack. Unzips it. Pulls out a notebook.
EMMA
I have this-th-this book. That extremely tall and big person said that a medic beat somebody up.
That’ll be an interesting point of comparison with my notes. Book! Open!
Emma opens the book.
21
EMMA
(doing a voice) Wow, she used magic to open the magical book! (as before) Why yes I did do
that. Okay! Here are some notes you fucking— I’m handing you the book! YOU HAVE
TOOTHPASTE! ON YOUR SHOES! That’s disgusting! I’m getting a fucking snack for real!
Emma storms off.
BOO
What the hell was that?
JO
If I knew I would tell you.
BOO
Wouldn’t you— never mind. Nurse at something-o-clock.
DENVER [narrator]
While Jo politely shoos away the night-shift
nurse, Boo looks through the open notebook
in his hands. What he discovers is 43 lined
pages of extremely detailed notes on every
episode of the podcast, from episodes one
through fifteen. Emma had opened the
notebook up to the section about episode four,
where she listed every single potential clue in
JO
Hiiii. How can I help you?
NURSE 4
Where are you guys headed?
JO
Yeah, he broke the toilet! (laughs) We’re just
looking for the bathroom!
NURSE 4
Over there.
22
order. Eventually, Boo gets to the word
“medic” and keeps reading. One bullet-point
describes a medic in the ambulance who
attempted to strangle Alaska.
JO
Thank you so much I really apprecia— I
really appreciate it! Really!
NURSE 4
By the way, visitors aren’t allowed at this
time of night.
JO
Really! Oh, I’m so sorry about that. You
know that makes sense. He needs a lot of
sleep. I hope it’s okay if I just help him get to
the bathroom and back and then I’ll head
right out.
NURSE 4
That’s fine. Just— quickly.
JO
Thank you so much! It’s been such a long
day. You know how it is.
DENVER [narrator]
Logan’s full quote is included, and it goes like this: “I look over to Alaska and I realize, there’s a
medic who isn’t doing anything. […] he’s just. Standing there. Unseated, unbuckled, like
standing in the moving vehicle. He’s got his beady little pupils directed at Alaska’s face. And
23
then he lurches at Alaska and puts his hands around Alaska’s neck. I get up and I start pulling
him off Alaska, and both of the other medics are pulling. We’re struggling around in this tight
space. But it’s freaking me out. I can hear the blood pumping in my ears, because everyone is so
quiet. Barely any sound. He’s not thrashing us around. He’s just holding onto Alaska’s throat,
and we’re prying him away. And it’s quiet. And his eyes are bulging. And then he says, ‘Let me
do my work, Logan.’ He says my name. I don’t know that man.”
Boo looks up for a split second before he sees Emma at the end of the hall. In that
moment, he realizes that Emma didn’t leave to get snacks. She just decided to watch him from
the end of the hall in a very non-weird way.
BOO
Come back. Come back.
JO
Come here.
EMMA [distant]
WHAT’RE YOU SAYING TO ME! YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY!
DENVER [narrator]
Fifteen seconds later.
BOO
You did a good job.
EMMA
Thank you— we, we don’t know that it’s the same medic. Or the same ambulance.
24
BOO
We have to think in (mispronouncing) synchronicities. Everything happened that night, and
everything funneled like coffee in a coffee funnel. Man, that fuckin machine over there sounds
just like a coffee machine. Do you see what saying!? All these little cues from the universe are
lining up. Coincidences do not exist.
JO
Where’s the window? Everything you just said gave me fight or flight, where’s that window.
EMMA
Tell me what to do. I wanna help out.
BOO
Well. Emma, do you wanna do recon?
EMMA
What’s recon?
BOO
It’s short for renaissance.
EMMA
No it’s not.
BOO
It means you’re gonna go find any secret information out from Team Denver. They’re not texting
us which means Denver has Bobby and Logan swept up in some stupid investigation that Denver
thinks is the right thing to do. We thought Logan was lying when he said that somebody was
25
strangling Alaska in the ambulance. You should find out if Logan was lying or not. Unless Jo
maybe knows something.
JO
I am with the hot-bitches-with-IBS-who-don’t-remember-anything club. Like, I’ve been
pretending to know what we’re talking about for the last ten minutes, so.
EMMA
Jo.
JO
Yeah?
EMMA
What do you think? Do you wanna trust Boo’s instincts?
BOO
Not Boo.
EMMA
I trust you.
JO
I know you trust me.
EMMA
Well yeah, ever since high school when—
JO
HAHA yes. Yes. Yes, let’s trust Boo!
26
BOO
Not Boo!
JO
Good plan! The medic got in a fight so he tried to strangle Alaska.
BOO
Wrong. Very wrong. Ok, Emma you go hunt down the other three guys. They’re probably in the
lobby. If they’re not in the lobby, ask staff if a private investigator came through and, um, tell
them that you’re also a private investigator.
EMMA
Gimme your cellphone charger.
Jo opens her huge purse. Sifts through.
EMMA
What’re you guys doing?
BOO
Uh, well, we should learn as much about that medic as possible cause that guy is, he’s fuckin
suspicious. First thought is the stabber employed the medic or something— I dunno, just—
Emma focuses on finding out if a guy actually strangled Alaska in the ambulance, and Jo, we’re
gonna find any information on this guy.
JO
Such a control freak.
27
BOO
Oh! Emma! Don’t tell them shit, okay? They cannot know anything that we know, or anything
that you know, which is a lot, apparently.
EMMA
I know. We have to beat Denver to it and save you. I’m just sad that I’m up against Denver. I’ll
see you guys later. I’ll do good recon.
Emma heelys away.
BOO
Emma!? Were you wearing Heelys this entire time!?
She stops.
EMMA [distant]
And Boo! I hate you! Don’t take that literally or you’re a fucking idiot! Bye!
Emma heelys away.
28
DENVER [narrator]
At that time, Bobby and Jeremy and I are still in the waiting room.
HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM.
BOBBY
I have some information that may be worth, uh, reporting.
DENVER
Yes, Bobby.
BOBBY
So um. Yesterday. I got a fortune cookie. And it said, it said, one man’s trash is another man’s
treasure.
LOGAN
Okay well let’s call Riley Shadowmoon cause I have his phone number up and ready.
DENVER
Ok? Go ahead.
INBOX MESSAGE [speaker phone]
The mailbox is full and cannot accept messages at this time. Goodbye.
LOGAN
Straight to voicemail.
DENVER
Damn. Okay so I do have an idea. This place is covered in security cameras, right?
29
LOGAN
Yup.
DENVER
There’s one over there. There’s one over there. There has to be footage of the tornado.
LOGAN
Okay?
DENVER
That footage would be sitting around in the observation room but I don’t know that it’s gonna
work out since we’d have to convince security to find the tape and then show it to us. We can try.
LOGAN
Then let’s go.
DENVER [narrator]
At this exact moment, Boo is on the move, but so are we.
30
EMPTY HALLWAY.
DENVER
Oh shit.
BOBBY
What? What?
DENVER
Nothing.
DENVER [narrator]
I’m just now realizing that they might not have the footage anymore. The tornado happened
almost four years ago. Most institutions delete their footage after three months.
LOGAN
Emma’s calling me.
DENVER
You can answer.
LOGAN
Hello?
LOGAN
Did she just hang up on me?
DENVER
It could be any of these doors.
BOBBY
Then let’s just, let’s just try ‘em.
31
Denver opens a door.
PRIEST
Look up and open your arms to the grace of god! Only then can you truly find peace.
DENVER
Wrong room. Sorry.
Door closes.
BOBBY
Let’s try this one!
Bobby opens a door.
Song: “Bonus Track (Apology Letter).”
DENVER
Woahhh, ok, wrong room! Sorry!
Door closes.
LOGAN
Emma’s calling me again. Hello? She hung up on me! Again!
32
Denver opens a door.
DENVER
Hi! What room is this?
PHARMACIST [distantly]
Look at the sign. “Retail Pharmacy.”
DENVER
Yup. Sorry. Wrong room.
Door closes.
DENVER
Let’s try over herrrre…
Denver knocks. Door opens.
DENVER
Hi. It’s a pleasure. I understand this is the security office?
SECURITY GUARD
Yup.
DENVER
Beautiful. Hold on, give me just a second.
33
DENVER
I’mma go in there alone. You hold onto the microphone.
LOGAN
We should go with you. Somebody could walk by and kick us out.
DENVER
Just act confident. Act like you’re supposed to be here and don’t lie. Don’t.
SECURITY GUARD
Everything ok?
DENVER
Absolutely.
BOBBY
Alright! Denver! Denver. You’re gonna see a little icon that says recycling bin. Make sure you
click on the recycling bin on that computer.
DENVER
Why?
BOBBY
Well because my fortune cookie said one man’s trash— recycling bin— is another man’s treasure
— oh, oh, bye.
DENVER
So good to finally meet you. I’m investigating the case from 2019— is it ok if I come in?
SECURITY GUARD
Uh. Sure.
34
Door closes.
BOBBY
Alright! Just you and me. We have to kill the thing in Boo’s mirror.
Logan’s phone rings.
LOGAN
Your phone signal is terrible!
Hanging up tone.
LOGAN
Did you hear something?
BOBBY
No?
LOGAN
It’s like a, like a rolling sound?
BOBBY
I mean, uh. Unless they have the nurses here wearing, like, Heelys, I think we’re fine.
Logan laughs subtly.
35
AD
LOGAN
Bobby’s only got one hand / Tried to give him a high-five but then I missed because / Bobby don’t
got a hand
Hey everybody! Denver forgot to do the ad so now it’s daddy’s turn. Anyway. Floral
ghost tank tops starting at $13 are out and only available until the end of August on
WhoKilledAlaska.com/merch so be sure to grab those before the world ends at the end of
August.
Also, floral ghost tees now have a tie-dye option, so you can wear that right when the
bomb hits you.
Logan laughs really, really hard at his own joke.
LOGAN
You can find those at WhoKilledAlaska.com/merch. Big papa Denver instructed me to lighten
the mood by doing an impression of our Patron names um, and um, also as a disclaimer I should
say the first time he heard this was a few hours ago in the urinal next to him. While we were
peeing, I did it for him. So now while I’m peeing now as well, I will do it for you. First up is—
LavendarKozzy, grinleysspa— this is sounding, uh, more reasonable than I thought it would.
Antigone, LaceAnn, MishaWarlock, Shay, Andrew Roper, CJ Taylor Caldwell, Lilly Carleton—
oh! Brad Goupil, NarJuzz, Emma, Nicole Collard, Shep, Sarah, Ash, Shoshi, aaaaand
LivinLuxuriouslySelena! Ahh. Papa bear out.
36
HOSPITAL CAFETERIA.
DENVER [narrator]
Meanwhile, Jo is on the phone with Dylan and Dan.
JO
(on the phone) Yes. Yeah. Can you find information about the medic? Okay, awesome! Yeah. You
let me know.
Jo presses button to hang up.
JO
They’re gonna work on it.
BOO
Don’t know that they can do anything, but okay. Excuse! Hi! Toilet broke.
DENVER [narrator]
But we won’t spend much time with Jo or Boo here. It’ll be an hour and a half before their
investigation gets anywhere. Let’s get back to my side of things.
37
EMPTY HALLWAY.
LOGAN
I saw somebody down there.
BOBBY
Maybe you’re tired.
DENVER
Alright! Thank you so much. Jeremy. Bobby. We have footage from July 13th. Oh. Are you
heading out?
SECURITY GUARD
I was never here.
DENVER
Thank you!
LOGAN
Thank you.
BOBBY
Thank you.
DENVER
Guys, come on in.
SECURITY OFFICE.
Denver goes to the computer.
38
DENVER
Alriiiiiight. They kept a few files for insurance claims and for court. Aaaaand here’s July 13th.
LOGAN
Emma’s right behind us. Emma’s right behind us. They’re not listening.
DENVER [narration]
We’re not listening.
LOGAN
I’ll be right back.
Logan walks out of the Security Office.
EMPTY HALLWAY.
LOGAN
Emma I can see you. Why are you here?
EMMA
Are you talking to me?
LOGAN
Yes! Are you spying on us?
EMMA
No.
LOGAN
YOU HAVE HEELYS! Oh my god.
39
EMMA
I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested in you anymore.
LOGAN
What does that have to do with you spying on us? Do you think saying you have Heelys is, is
flirting? You’re with Boo, right?
EMMA
Yes.
LOGAN
You’re basically helping Boo die right now. This show should be called Who Killed Boo, and it’s
you, you did it. I, I can’t talk to you right now, I’m, I’m sorry—
EMMA
Logan. Logan. Logan Logan Logan look at the tv. Look at the tv.
40
CAFETERIA.
DENVER [narrator]
After Boo and Jo spend an hour and a half interviewing staff members— Jo gets a call.
BOO
This is the youngest hospital ever been in. Everybody’s fuckin new!
JO
(to phone) Hey. How’s the progress? You found him?
BOO
Who? Found who?
JO
Shh! (to phone) Say the name again? “Not-Boo” was distracting me. Pete Cantu. Oh he’s
Italiano, that’s cute. Okayyy.
BOO
What!? What!? That’s fucking crazy— How did they find him!? Let, let talk to them!
JO
I can put them on speaker phone if you want.
Jo presses a button.
DAN [speaker phone]
—owe us a favor.
41
JO
Yeah, yeah, I owe you, I know. Do you want me to make a meat loaf for your birthday party?
DAN [speaker phone]
We had something else in mind.
JO
Alright, ok, well, we’ll talk about this later, we’re in a rush!
DAN [speaker phone]
Dylan, dude, shut up, I’m on the phone!
BOO
Dan, how did you do it? How did you find his name?
DAN [speaker phone]
Oh it’s Little Curtis! Mwa mwa! I have my ways. How you been?
BOO
Pretty good.
DAN [speaker phone]
But we didn’t just find his name. We found him.
BOO
Sorry— you found him? You found the guy who strangled Alaska!?
DAN [speaker phone]
He’s in Room 205.
JO
Oh my god.
42
DAN [speaker phone]
In Building C.
JO (unison)
Holy shit! Good fucking job, you guys!
BOO (unison)
Wait wait wait why is he in the hospital!? How is that, um… Mn?
JO
Boo, I think you’re right.
BOO
About what?
JO
Synchronicities. Maybe there are no coincidences.
BOO
Yeah… No coincidences.
DAN [speaker phone]
Uhhh. Aren’t you guys in a rush?
JO
Yeah we are! What room was it?
DAN [speaker phone]
Room 205.
JO
Okay, see you later!
43
DAN [speaker phone]
Thank you— In Building C!
JO
Let’s go!
DAN [speaker phone]
Yeah, ok, bye—
HALLWAY.
JO
Why’re you still nervous?
BOO
Something’s off. Dylan and Dan might’ve got confused.
JO
I have the world’s pickiest person as my best friend! I should’ve known.
BOO
Never said your best friend.
JO (unison)
I wasn’t saying I’m YOUR best friend—
BOO (unison)
Don’t really do labels.
JO
Yes you do. You’re bi. You have said to me, “Jo, I’m bi.”
44
ELEVATOR.
BOO
That one’s different. That’s more like everybody around was calling that so eventually just went
with it. Having certain apps on phone does not an identity make, you feel?
JO
How about being crazy? You told me you’re crazy and that’s a label—
BOO
Woahhhh, I never said that. I am not crazy.
Pause.
JO
You talked normal.
Elevator doors open.
45
NEW HALLWAY.
NURSE 5
Hi, are you lost?
BOO
We’re good. She’s just helping walk back to room.
Jo grumbles.
NURSE 5
Ok, great. Let’s go split him open.
A voice is laughing.
PETE CANTU’S HOSPITAL ROOM.
POLICE OFFICER
Can I help you?
DENVER [narrator]
Boo and Jo enter the hospital room to see not one, but two men in the room. The first is Pete
Cantu, who lies in his bed, laughing at the ceiling. The second is a police officer in a dark
uniform, sitting in a nearby chair with his legs spread.
JO
Hello sir. We’re here to meet Pete Cantu.
46
Pete Cantu stops laughing.
POLICE OFFICER
And do you have permission to visit at this time of night?
JO
Kind of. Yeah. I’m Josephine Magaro, by the way. This is my friend, or well, I guess he’s just
some guy that I brought.
BOO
Hi.
POLICE OFFICER
Okay. You said you’re Josephine Magaro?
JO
Yup.
POLICE OFFICER
Did you used to have a different last name?
JO
That is correct, sir.
POLICE OFFICER
Okay. And you have business with Pete.
JO
Yes we do.
47
POLICE OFFICER
He’s in a hospital gown. Ma’am, I’ll need to check you for weapons.
JO
Interesting. Okay.
POLICE OFFICER
Pardon me.
DENVER [narrator]
He pats down the pale woman in front of him.
POLICE OFFICER
You’re set. Do you see that radiator over there?
JO
Yes sir.
POLICE OFFICER
While you’re visiting this guy, I’d like both of you to stand over there where I can see you and
do not step within four feet of Pete. Can you do that for me?
JO
I hope that makes you feel better, sir. C’mon Boo. If it puts you at ease any, I have a little card I
can show you?
POLICE OFFICER
I don’t need your PBA card, thank you. If you have anything to say to Pete, you can go ahead.
He’s not going to answer, but you can try.
48
JO
Okay. Pete, can you hear us?
BOO
What’s wrong with him?
POLICE OFFICER
Are you asking me? He’s a vegetable. He talks sometimes if you’ll wait. The words come out
eventually.
BOO
And, uh. Why, why are you here— sir? Does he have enemies?
POLICE OFFICER
Mm. I’m just the escort. The idea is that I’m supposed to protect you… whether you need it or
not. He’s a patient at the Kirby Forensic Psychiatric Center. That means he’s a felon. He’s
criminally insane.
BOO
It’s hard to get that…
POLICE OFFICER
Say again?
BOO
Uh. It’s, just. Hard to get that prognosis. Or so hear. Because— y’know. Most of the criminally
insane are just plain criminals.
POLICE OFFICER
That’s true. You’re probably right about that.
49
BOO
How often does he come to?
POLICE OFFICER
He talks every five minutes. Just don’t watch the kettle. It’ll be no time.
BOO
How did he end up at Curvy?
POLICE OFFICER
Why did he end up at Kirby? He assaulted an officer and he resisted arrest.
BOO
What arrest was he resisting?
POLICE OFFICER
He assaulted some other guy first.
BOO
Who?
POLICE OFFICER
I don’t know.
BOO
Heard that Pete was a medic.
POLICE OFFICER
Yeah, I heard that too. He used to ride around in an ambulance. And sometimes I feel like I’m
gonna end up like he did— staring off into space all the time. Crazy is contagious.
50
BOO
So he wasn’t always like this.
POLICE OFFICER
No. The rumor is he was bringing someone along to the hospital and he suddenly had a psychotic
break where he was seeing voices, and he got violent. A few minutes later, during his arrest, he
went catatonic and he’s been a vegetable ever since. He used to be a normal guy living a normal
life, at least, normal for a first responder. I bet he brought a few people to this hospital.
BOO
Pretty sure he did. Pretty sure he brought— brought brother to this hospital. Brought brother…
Pause.
BOO
Why was Pete brought to this hospital today?
POLICE OFFICER
Nobody knows.
BOO
Nobody… Well. Didn’t they give you a reason to escort him to the hospital?
POLICE OFFICER
He’s just sick. Am I a doctor? I didn’t know. Am I wearing scrubs right now?
BOO
What are his symptoms?
51
POLICE OFFICER
This is not a situation where you interview me. You can either “talk to” Pete, or you can be
courteous with me, or you can stand there in silence. Those are your three options.
Pause.
POLICE OFFICER
See? That’s within your rights!
JO
Don’t talk to him like that.
POLICE OFFICER
Relax, we’re just having a conversation.
JO
That’s my best friend you’re talking to.
POLICE OFFICER
Aren’t you a little old for that?
JO
We’re not gonna have a problem.
POLICE OFFICER
Is that intended as a threat?
JO
No.
52
POLICE OFFICER
I didn’t know your type has friends.
JO
What’s your problem?
BOO
What is her type? Exc— what is her, what is her type?
POLICE OFFICER
I need you to back up.
Pause.
POLICE OFFICER
I need you to stand there in silence or I need you to leave.
Jo’s breath picks up.
POLICE OFFICER
Don’t you move. Don’t you say a word.
Jo inhales. About to speak.
53
PETE CANTU
Jett palm on your gift. Hahaha. Do you— water? Crown. Fight. Youth. Ground. Ground ground
ground. Ground ground ground. Ground ground ground. In the ground. In, not outside. In, not
outside! In, not outside!
Boo approaches Pete.
PETE CANTU
Forewarn me about the leash, prince! Friend
strides. The ground is tempting to me. What
do you think about it? What do you think
about me? What do you think about sitting
alone in a hospital room? What do you think
about snakes? What do you think about
Portuguese? What do you think about the
telephone? What a dope and cool machine to
call all my friends on. Call me on the
telephone and don’t leave me alone. Happily
ever snakes. Am I screaming? Am I
screaming? Am I screaming? Am I
screaming? Am I screaming?
BOO
He’s like Glory!!
POLICE OFFICER
Do NOT get close to him!!
BOO
He’s like Glory!! Pete, what did you to my
brother!?
POLICE OFFICER
BACK OFF! BACK OFF OR I WILL NEED
TO USE FORCE!
BOO
Where are you!? Need your help!! Have 36
hours left to live!! HELP!! HELP!!
JO
DON’T YOU TOUCH BOO!
54
A scuffle.
JO
OH MY GOD!
Jo screams.
HOSPITAL ROOM.
BOO
You are looking at. All of you are looking at. Stop looking at. Look away. Look away. Look
away.
EMMA
Boo are you okay?
BOO
Having some kind of. Some kind of. Nightmare!
Boo screams.
JO
You’re in your hospital room. You banged your head again. The man who did it is gone now. He
broke a promise.
55
Boo screams.
JO
Emma, Emma, tell him! Tell Boo what you told me!
Boo screams and whines and panics.
EMMA
Denver and Logan and Bobby were watching footage of Alaska from when he got to the hospital.
Alaska’s throat was bruised in that video. That means Logan was telling the truth. Alaska really
was strangled.
JO
By Pete!
EMMA
But also, there was a staff member that attacked Alaska while he was in the hospital! Her name
was Kenzie Joyce! I think she was an Outsider!
BOO
No no no! No no no!
JO
Boo! Boo, can you hear us? Alaska was attacked by two Outsiders!
56
BOO
They were Outsiders! Like body! They were Outsiders like body! Alaska was attacked by two
Outsiders and he was stabbed by an Outsider! The Outsiders wanted to kill him! All the
Outsiders wanted to kill him! They were gonna take him away! Know where all the answers are!
Know it! Need to go to bottom of the lake! Need to go to bottom of the lake! The lake! The lake!
The lake! The lake!
A hug.
BOO
Why are you hugging?
JO
You can’t go. You can’t go to the lake.
BOO
The lake in Stump Town is the connection to Purgatory.
JO
I know. But you can’t go, Boo.
BOO
Okay.
57
CREDITS
[Song: “Stabilizer” by The Ghost Factory.]
THE GHOST FACTORY
WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun
SCRIPT EDITOR - Katrina Clairvoyant
ASSISTANT PRODUCER - Lorena De Leon
MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun, AJCW
SOUND DESIGN - Andres Buitrago, Austin Blackwell
AUDIO EDITING - Thomas Annunziata
MIX & MASTER - Manas Kunder, Chris Zagortchev
ART - Bella Wynne, Lock Reinhardt, and doritofalls
JO MAGARO - Sally Roberts
EMMA WOOTEN - Liz Mina
LOGAN GOLDBERG - Trent Trachtenberg
BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Parker
BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd
FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo
DAN - Donald Sutton
PHARMACIST / PRIEST - Susan Paerels
SECURITY GUARD - Emily Ellsworth
ORDERLY - Katherine Moustakis
58
NURSE 3 - Cole Demcher
NURSE 4 - Dan Luke
NURSE 5 - Debbie Soelter
PETE CANTU - Diego Reyes
POLICE OFFICER - Zane Boyer
PATRONS - LavenderKozzy, grinleysspa, Antigone, LaceAnn, MishaWarlock, Shay, Andrew
Roper, CJ Taylor Caldwell, Lilly Carleton, Brad Goupil, NarJuzz, Emma, Nicole Collard, Shep,
Sarah, Ash, Shoshi, LivinLuxuriouslySelena, and Kelly Brennan!
59

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WHO KILLED ALASKA? #17: Mirror Memoria - "OFFICER" TRANSCRIPT.pdf

  • 1. WHO KILLED ALASKA #17 - MIRROR MEMORIA: OFFICER written by Cameron Cooper LeBrun
  • 2. DENVER [narrator] You’re listening to part 2 of the four-part season finale. Before we get started, I thought you should know that even when this episode gets scary, you’re still safe. Make sure to check the description for content warnings, as this episode contains scenes that portray sensitive and challenging situations involving law enforcement. 2
  • 3. DENVER [narrator] Boo is upstairs. HOSPITAL ROOM. BOO Have so many clues… So close… EMMA We can figure this out, Boo. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM. DENVER [narrator] We’re downstairs. BOBBY Do we have a plan? Denver groans. DENVER [narrator] Now two pairs of feet scuff the mat at the entrance of the hospital. The doors close. And I see two people I’m sure I recognize. Doors open. 3
  • 4. DENVER Bobby, do those two guys seem familiar to you? BOBBY Not at all. LOGAN Those’re Jo’s friends. BOBBY Kay? DENVER That’s right. Dylan and Dan. I don’t understand how you remember these things. Logan sighs. DENVER [narrator] Do you think Jo really ever broke things off with Dylan or Dan? She brought them here. Jo Magaro is a fickle breed. When you’re from Roslyn, breakups with friends are just a game of play-pretend that lasts until the next week rolls in. HOSPITAL ROOM. JO Yeah! Okay! Bye! See you soon. 4
  • 5. Jo hangs up. JO Dylan and Dan are on their way. DENVER [narrator] Meanwhile, I’m in the waiting room watching them talk to security at the door. And I’m wondering why the firemen in this town step heavy and wide even in hospitals. Boy. In this moment, there’s so much I don’t know. You have no idea how much danger is in front of me, ten feet away. I just know I’m gonna have to be clever with my wording cause throughout this episode, this one’s gonna be quoted in local news, if not possibly every big paper in the country. Jesus. Out of the frying pan, and in we fucking go. 5
  • 6. THEME SONG STARTS DENVER [narrator] Welcome to Who Killed Alaska: Detective Files. BOO This is Who Killed Alaska: The Adventures! DENVER [narrator] I’m a private investigator looking for the killer. BOO And I’m the regular guy who’s gonna stop him. BOO / DENVER [narrator] Previously on Who Killed Alaska! DENVER [clip - WKA16] [—]Boo Curtis came to face a traumatic brain injury. BOO [clip - WKA16] [S]tress levels have been uncontrollable which is bad for concussion recovery EMMA [clip - WKA16] Boo you can’t work on the mystery right now. Your brain is injured, you’re healing. BOO [clip - WKA16] Don’t say Boo! Pass the ghost box! BOO [clip - WKA16] [—]and at first felt really defeated because high stress levels are a hormonal response to injury[—] 6
  • 7. BOO [clip - WKA16] Don’t call “Boo.” Avoiding labels right now, including name. BOO [clip - WKA16] Don’t call “Boo.” BOO [clip - WKA16] Basically just framing as not a person so don’t have to inherit the pressures of living up to a name like Boo. BOO And now, it’s time for the new episode! DENVER [narrator] Welcome back, bud. BOO / DENVER [narrator] This is Who Killed Alaska. THEME SONG ENDS 7
  • 8. DENVER [narrator] The clock is ticking. We have 40 hours to solve the case and I haven’t slept, which is not ideal, but I’m sober, which is definitely helping me stay up. Bobby takes a shift helping me out with menial case tasks, and Jeremy takes a shift napping. And now he’s sleeping topless over five chairs with his shirt over his face. We’re halfway across the waiting room and the hip hop music in his earbuds is audibly buzzing. Me and Bobby spend Jeremy’s naptime combing Google for news coverage on the storm. And I tap the link to a Newsday article that gave the storm a mention, but they spared us on the details. The storm destroyed St Francis Hospital’s facade, and it occurred on July 13th— which, to be clear, was Alaska’s deathday. Every local paper was busy with Alaska’s violent death in the middle of suburbia. I’m having to scroll past all the pictures of Alaska with his arms around his closest friends. So I’m spending these hours watching my hands shake. And while I’m doing that, I’m sweeping at all the loud thoughts in my head so I can notice all the beeps in the hospital waiting room. I count the beeps. I remind myself that today could be difficult. Today could be trying. And I’m prepared to be scared and overwhelmed. Everything is worth a try, and a try is worth your confidence. Now we find ourselves with 40 hours until catastrophe, and in this moment, I recall that trying my best has always been worth it. All those little moments have raised me until now. Here in the hospital lobby, Jeremy’s just woken up. We come up with a plan— not for solving the mystery. But for feeling well enough to solve the mystery. 8
  • 9. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM. DENVER Let’s take a reset. Denver grunts like an old man. DENVER Get up, c’mon, get up. We’re gonna stretch. LOGAN I’m zonked. DENVER Oh, yeah? You’re good! BOBBY I’ll do it. DENVER I’m gonna stretch and then we’re gonna line up and we’re gonna get ready to solve this thing. BOBBY This is good. Stretches are good for my anger. DENVER We’re gonna line up like we’re in the army. You know why? 9
  • 10. LOGAN You remind me of Hillary Clinton giving an address. That’s not malicious, it hits me in waves. You have her ass too. DENVER Hillary— We’re gonna line up like we’re in the army— LOGAN Yeah, you were saying. DENVER —because we have 40 hours left to solve the case. Starting now. And it’s not that 8 hours ago we had 48 hours left— no, the timer starts now! SOON. DENVER Now the clock starts. This case is impossible, but Boo is in danger. That’s gonna light a fire under our tucheses. Earlier I wrote up all the clues, so you can use this for reference. Now, we’re making a deal before I hand you my notes— I never show case notes to civilians, especially to suspects of the crime. Now tell me you understand that. LOGAN Makes sense. DENVER But this— 10
  • 11. BOBBY I mean I’m not a civilian— ow. DENVER But this is a huge exception because this case has always been surreal and I’m trusting that Boo’s actually at risk of dying. Obviously I contacted police but only as a formality. I mean, they won’t be able to do anything. I can use my training, I have my 40 hours, and I have you two. I’m sharing everything with you and hoping that at least one of you can help me solve this. LOGAN So just give it to us. DENVER Wait and listen. You’re going to make a promise to me. You are not gonna share this information with Mr Boo. Period. And I’ll tell you why— the more he learns, the more he’s going to try to solve the case and he won’t be able to. LOGAN I agree with that. He can’t help himself. DENVER Boo does— Exactly. Boo does not have the training, he does not have the information for how to proceed in a case, and he’s recovering from a concussion, so right now he’s not supposed to be doing any mental math. He’s not supposed to be reading, he’s not supposed to be writing, and he’s definitely not supposed to be doing this. So in order to protect Boo, he needs to be left out of this case. Prove to me that when you help me today, nothing that I know is getting to Boo. 11
  • 12. LOGAN Here’s my wallet. In forty hours, you can just give my stuff back to me. DENVER Good, I’ll take that! Good! LOGAN There’s my cash bail for you, dawg. You will find multiple paychecks. DENVER That’s, that’s great. Okay, Jeremy’s in. Jeremy’s safe. BOBBY I won’t tell Boo anything. You can trust me and I can prove that you can trust me. Do you want me to prove it? DENVER Yes. What’re you doing? Just warn me first. BOBBY It might scare you. DENVER [narrator] Bobby puts one chainmail-lookin-ass combat boot forward and he steps straight into my body. BOBBY We need to go outside. DENVER [narrator] That’s Bobby talking directly into my ear. 12
  • 13. DENVER Why? BOBBY Just, you probably don’t want to know. So if I were you, I would just listen to me and go outside. DENVER Why? BOBBY So. I am a Luciferian witch, meaning I practice witchcraft that involves symbols such as pentacles, sigils, anything that holds great power, and in my practice, it would be most appropriate to perform a blood oath in this situation. I can easily curse myself so that if I share information with Boo, I die, which is helpful to you to trust me. DENVER You know what? You know what? That, that’s ok. That’s fine. BOBBY Well I know it could scare the elderly present so I thought we could bring the ceremony outside, but you said you don’t wanna go outside. DENVER Okay, I believe you. You’re not gonna tell Boo. I appreciate that, so uh. Let’s not do that. Can you just give me your wallet? DENVER [narrator] And then he gives me his wallet. 13
  • 14. HOSPITAL ROOM. DENVER [narrator] The moon is high in the window. Somewhere— somewhere very close by— my rival is gearing up to destroy his mind and save his one and only brother. BOO (asleep) The lake… The lake… She’s not ready to die. JO [muffled/distant] He’s not waking up? EMMA [muffled/distant] No. BOO (asleep) At the bottom of this lake. Please. Without her… Who am I? JO WAKE UP! Jo slaps Boo. EMMA Good morning. Uh. Uh. How are you feeling? JO Did you know that you talk normal in your sleep? How is it possible that your brain is smarter than you? 14
  • 15. BOO Brain can’t be smarter than. Brain is. Let’s get to it. Need to save Alaska. And M-E. Don’t look at a man while he’s putting on his shoes. It’s creepy. JO Sweetheart, I’m not watching you— now why are you hiding your toesies? Oh, Boo’s got secrets in his toesies! BOO Let’s get to it. JO Alright then do you have time to say I lick toes? EMMA Boo didn’t say licking. BOO Don’t call Boo— Heh. Ok? Where’s Dylan and Dan? JO They’re investigating. Can we get on task please? BOO Investigating what? JO Focus on us! What’re we doing? BOO Fine! Ok! Guys, (yawns) sensing lotsa metaphysical shit went down. 15
  • 16. Boo walks into the connected private bathroom. BATHROOM. BOO Ugh! Breath! JO That means supernatural things happened the night Alaska died. Even at the hospital. EMMA I see. BOO (brushing teeth) Yeah cause the tornado’s fucking bizarre and— (spits) The tornado’s definitely an overlapping of the physical and metaphysical world. It’s like the law of attraction where everything that doesn’t belong in the world was attracted to the night of July 13th. That’s a metaphor. No, wait, that’s— Guys. Don’t look at a man when he has toothpaste dripping out his fucking teeth. Can have some fucking privacy? EMMA Sorry. JO Wow! Somebody’s upset! We’re gonna solve this. BOO Know that. Do seem like freaking out?— Oh gosh. Right. 16
  • 17. JO Now clean your fucking face. It’s disgusting. EMMA Everything’s fine. Boo gargles. BOO Shut the fuck up, mirror guy. EMMA Me and all my homies hate the mirror guy. Boo walks out of the bathroom. BOO Let’s just ask people if anything weird happened that night, right? Like what else are we gonna do? 17
  • 18. HALLWAY. DENVER [narrator] Boo, Emma, and Jo approach a nurse in the hallway. BOO Hi. NURSE 3 Hi? BOO Sorry, this is weird. Do you know anybody who’s been working here for four years? NURSE 3 You’re not supposed to be wandering around. You need to go back to your room. BOO (unison) Toilet’s broken. JO (unison) His toilet’s broken. Do you know Alaska Curtis? NURSE 3 Yes? JO Well this is Alaska’s brother and he’d like to know if anybody’s been working here for at least four years. Why don’t you help this boy out? ‘Kay? DENVER [narrator] And with a little convincing, that nurse tells them where to find a veteran orderly at the hospital. 18
  • 19. ANOTHER HALLWAY. BOO Hi. Are you [BLEEP]? DENVER [narrator] We’ll be censoring her name for her protection. ORDERLY That’s me. I’m on my way back to go watch a bone get sawed open. What do you need? EMMA Ugh. He has a question! Boo? BOO Not Boo— Hi, so, were you working at St Francis in 2019? ORDERLY 2020, 2019— Yup! BOO Were you working the night of the tornado? ORDERLY Actually, yeah, I was. When it broke the doors, I was close enough that I could hear the terrible crunchy boom sound. I don’t know how to describe it. BOO Cool cool. So you were there. Did anything else weird happen that night? ORDERLY Aside from the tornado? 19
  • 20. BOO Yeah. ORDERLY Let me think. Yes. There was a medic who beat somebody up. JO We’re looking for something as weird as a random tornado happening on Long Island. EMMA (unison) I wanna help. I’m here too. ORDERLY (unison) Got it, are you guys into like, “there’s electromagnets in the air”? Like the “Occult Club” stuff? BOO Oh, so you’re like a rationalist. EMMA We’re! We’re— looking for stuff that’s weird and scary. ORDERLY I think it was decently weird that a medic beat up somebody he was helping out of an ambulance, yeah. BOO Whose ambulance? Who were they helping? ORDERLY I dunno. I also can’t tell you, like, names and stuff. 20
  • 21. EMMA Can we talk? BOO We’re gonna go grab snacks. Are you gonna be here later? ORDERLY Absolutely not. BOO Okay, fuckin peace be with you, guess. ORDERLY Sure. JO What happened? BOO Emma has something. What’s up? Emma whines nervously while taking off her backpack. Unzips it. Pulls out a notebook. EMMA I have this-th-this book. That extremely tall and big person said that a medic beat somebody up. That’ll be an interesting point of comparison with my notes. Book! Open! Emma opens the book. 21
  • 22. EMMA (doing a voice) Wow, she used magic to open the magical book! (as before) Why yes I did do that. Okay! Here are some notes you fucking— I’m handing you the book! YOU HAVE TOOTHPASTE! ON YOUR SHOES! That’s disgusting! I’m getting a fucking snack for real! Emma storms off. BOO What the hell was that? JO If I knew I would tell you. BOO Wouldn’t you— never mind. Nurse at something-o-clock. DENVER [narrator] While Jo politely shoos away the night-shift nurse, Boo looks through the open notebook in his hands. What he discovers is 43 lined pages of extremely detailed notes on every episode of the podcast, from episodes one through fifteen. Emma had opened the notebook up to the section about episode four, where she listed every single potential clue in JO Hiiii. How can I help you? NURSE 4 Where are you guys headed? JO Yeah, he broke the toilet! (laughs) We’re just looking for the bathroom! NURSE 4 Over there. 22
  • 23. order. Eventually, Boo gets to the word “medic” and keeps reading. One bullet-point describes a medic in the ambulance who attempted to strangle Alaska. JO Thank you so much I really apprecia— I really appreciate it! Really! NURSE 4 By the way, visitors aren’t allowed at this time of night. JO Really! Oh, I’m so sorry about that. You know that makes sense. He needs a lot of sleep. I hope it’s okay if I just help him get to the bathroom and back and then I’ll head right out. NURSE 4 That’s fine. Just— quickly. JO Thank you so much! It’s been such a long day. You know how it is. DENVER [narrator] Logan’s full quote is included, and it goes like this: “I look over to Alaska and I realize, there’s a medic who isn’t doing anything. […] he’s just. Standing there. Unseated, unbuckled, like standing in the moving vehicle. He’s got his beady little pupils directed at Alaska’s face. And 23
  • 24. then he lurches at Alaska and puts his hands around Alaska’s neck. I get up and I start pulling him off Alaska, and both of the other medics are pulling. We’re struggling around in this tight space. But it’s freaking me out. I can hear the blood pumping in my ears, because everyone is so quiet. Barely any sound. He’s not thrashing us around. He’s just holding onto Alaska’s throat, and we’re prying him away. And it’s quiet. And his eyes are bulging. And then he says, ‘Let me do my work, Logan.’ He says my name. I don’t know that man.” Boo looks up for a split second before he sees Emma at the end of the hall. In that moment, he realizes that Emma didn’t leave to get snacks. She just decided to watch him from the end of the hall in a very non-weird way. BOO Come back. Come back. JO Come here. EMMA [distant] WHAT’RE YOU SAYING TO ME! YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY! DENVER [narrator] Fifteen seconds later. BOO You did a good job. EMMA Thank you— we, we don’t know that it’s the same medic. Or the same ambulance. 24
  • 25. BOO We have to think in (mispronouncing) synchronicities. Everything happened that night, and everything funneled like coffee in a coffee funnel. Man, that fuckin machine over there sounds just like a coffee machine. Do you see what saying!? All these little cues from the universe are lining up. Coincidences do not exist. JO Where’s the window? Everything you just said gave me fight or flight, where’s that window. EMMA Tell me what to do. I wanna help out. BOO Well. Emma, do you wanna do recon? EMMA What’s recon? BOO It’s short for renaissance. EMMA No it’s not. BOO It means you’re gonna go find any secret information out from Team Denver. They’re not texting us which means Denver has Bobby and Logan swept up in some stupid investigation that Denver thinks is the right thing to do. We thought Logan was lying when he said that somebody was 25
  • 26. strangling Alaska in the ambulance. You should find out if Logan was lying or not. Unless Jo maybe knows something. JO I am with the hot-bitches-with-IBS-who-don’t-remember-anything club. Like, I’ve been pretending to know what we’re talking about for the last ten minutes, so. EMMA Jo. JO Yeah? EMMA What do you think? Do you wanna trust Boo’s instincts? BOO Not Boo. EMMA I trust you. JO I know you trust me. EMMA Well yeah, ever since high school when— JO HAHA yes. Yes. Yes, let’s trust Boo! 26
  • 27. BOO Not Boo! JO Good plan! The medic got in a fight so he tried to strangle Alaska. BOO Wrong. Very wrong. Ok, Emma you go hunt down the other three guys. They’re probably in the lobby. If they’re not in the lobby, ask staff if a private investigator came through and, um, tell them that you’re also a private investigator. EMMA Gimme your cellphone charger. Jo opens her huge purse. Sifts through. EMMA What’re you guys doing? BOO Uh, well, we should learn as much about that medic as possible cause that guy is, he’s fuckin suspicious. First thought is the stabber employed the medic or something— I dunno, just— Emma focuses on finding out if a guy actually strangled Alaska in the ambulance, and Jo, we’re gonna find any information on this guy. JO Such a control freak. 27
  • 28. BOO Oh! Emma! Don’t tell them shit, okay? They cannot know anything that we know, or anything that you know, which is a lot, apparently. EMMA I know. We have to beat Denver to it and save you. I’m just sad that I’m up against Denver. I’ll see you guys later. I’ll do good recon. Emma heelys away. BOO Emma!? Were you wearing Heelys this entire time!? She stops. EMMA [distant] And Boo! I hate you! Don’t take that literally or you’re a fucking idiot! Bye! Emma heelys away. 28
  • 29. DENVER [narrator] At that time, Bobby and Jeremy and I are still in the waiting room. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM. BOBBY I have some information that may be worth, uh, reporting. DENVER Yes, Bobby. BOBBY So um. Yesterday. I got a fortune cookie. And it said, it said, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. LOGAN Okay well let’s call Riley Shadowmoon cause I have his phone number up and ready. DENVER Ok? Go ahead. INBOX MESSAGE [speaker phone] The mailbox is full and cannot accept messages at this time. Goodbye. LOGAN Straight to voicemail. DENVER Damn. Okay so I do have an idea. This place is covered in security cameras, right? 29
  • 30. LOGAN Yup. DENVER There’s one over there. There’s one over there. There has to be footage of the tornado. LOGAN Okay? DENVER That footage would be sitting around in the observation room but I don’t know that it’s gonna work out since we’d have to convince security to find the tape and then show it to us. We can try. LOGAN Then let’s go. DENVER [narrator] At this exact moment, Boo is on the move, but so are we. 30
  • 31. EMPTY HALLWAY. DENVER Oh shit. BOBBY What? What? DENVER Nothing. DENVER [narrator] I’m just now realizing that they might not have the footage anymore. The tornado happened almost four years ago. Most institutions delete their footage after three months. LOGAN Emma’s calling me. DENVER You can answer. LOGAN Hello? LOGAN Did she just hang up on me? DENVER It could be any of these doors. BOBBY Then let’s just, let’s just try ‘em. 31
  • 32. Denver opens a door. PRIEST Look up and open your arms to the grace of god! Only then can you truly find peace. DENVER Wrong room. Sorry. Door closes. BOBBY Let’s try this one! Bobby opens a door. Song: “Bonus Track (Apology Letter).” DENVER Woahhh, ok, wrong room! Sorry! Door closes. LOGAN Emma’s calling me again. Hello? She hung up on me! Again! 32
  • 33. Denver opens a door. DENVER Hi! What room is this? PHARMACIST [distantly] Look at the sign. “Retail Pharmacy.” DENVER Yup. Sorry. Wrong room. Door closes. DENVER Let’s try over herrrre… Denver knocks. Door opens. DENVER Hi. It’s a pleasure. I understand this is the security office? SECURITY GUARD Yup. DENVER Beautiful. Hold on, give me just a second. 33
  • 34. DENVER I’mma go in there alone. You hold onto the microphone. LOGAN We should go with you. Somebody could walk by and kick us out. DENVER Just act confident. Act like you’re supposed to be here and don’t lie. Don’t. SECURITY GUARD Everything ok? DENVER Absolutely. BOBBY Alright! Denver! Denver. You’re gonna see a little icon that says recycling bin. Make sure you click on the recycling bin on that computer. DENVER Why? BOBBY Well because my fortune cookie said one man’s trash— recycling bin— is another man’s treasure — oh, oh, bye. DENVER So good to finally meet you. I’m investigating the case from 2019— is it ok if I come in? SECURITY GUARD Uh. Sure. 34
  • 35. Door closes. BOBBY Alright! Just you and me. We have to kill the thing in Boo’s mirror. Logan’s phone rings. LOGAN Your phone signal is terrible! Hanging up tone. LOGAN Did you hear something? BOBBY No? LOGAN It’s like a, like a rolling sound? BOBBY I mean, uh. Unless they have the nurses here wearing, like, Heelys, I think we’re fine. Logan laughs subtly. 35
  • 36. AD LOGAN Bobby’s only got one hand / Tried to give him a high-five but then I missed because / Bobby don’t got a hand Hey everybody! Denver forgot to do the ad so now it’s daddy’s turn. Anyway. Floral ghost tank tops starting at $13 are out and only available until the end of August on WhoKilledAlaska.com/merch so be sure to grab those before the world ends at the end of August. Also, floral ghost tees now have a tie-dye option, so you can wear that right when the bomb hits you. Logan laughs really, really hard at his own joke. LOGAN You can find those at WhoKilledAlaska.com/merch. Big papa Denver instructed me to lighten the mood by doing an impression of our Patron names um, and um, also as a disclaimer I should say the first time he heard this was a few hours ago in the urinal next to him. While we were peeing, I did it for him. So now while I’m peeing now as well, I will do it for you. First up is— LavendarKozzy, grinleysspa— this is sounding, uh, more reasonable than I thought it would. Antigone, LaceAnn, MishaWarlock, Shay, Andrew Roper, CJ Taylor Caldwell, Lilly Carleton— oh! Brad Goupil, NarJuzz, Emma, Nicole Collard, Shep, Sarah, Ash, Shoshi, aaaaand LivinLuxuriouslySelena! Ahh. Papa bear out. 36
  • 37. HOSPITAL CAFETERIA. DENVER [narrator] Meanwhile, Jo is on the phone with Dylan and Dan. JO (on the phone) Yes. Yeah. Can you find information about the medic? Okay, awesome! Yeah. You let me know. Jo presses button to hang up. JO They’re gonna work on it. BOO Don’t know that they can do anything, but okay. Excuse! Hi! Toilet broke. DENVER [narrator] But we won’t spend much time with Jo or Boo here. It’ll be an hour and a half before their investigation gets anywhere. Let’s get back to my side of things. 37
  • 38. EMPTY HALLWAY. LOGAN I saw somebody down there. BOBBY Maybe you’re tired. DENVER Alright! Thank you so much. Jeremy. Bobby. We have footage from July 13th. Oh. Are you heading out? SECURITY GUARD I was never here. DENVER Thank you! LOGAN Thank you. BOBBY Thank you. DENVER Guys, come on in. SECURITY OFFICE. Denver goes to the computer. 38
  • 39. DENVER Alriiiiiight. They kept a few files for insurance claims and for court. Aaaaand here’s July 13th. LOGAN Emma’s right behind us. Emma’s right behind us. They’re not listening. DENVER [narration] We’re not listening. LOGAN I’ll be right back. Logan walks out of the Security Office. EMPTY HALLWAY. LOGAN Emma I can see you. Why are you here? EMMA Are you talking to me? LOGAN Yes! Are you spying on us? EMMA No. LOGAN YOU HAVE HEELYS! Oh my god. 39
  • 40. EMMA I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested in you anymore. LOGAN What does that have to do with you spying on us? Do you think saying you have Heelys is, is flirting? You’re with Boo, right? EMMA Yes. LOGAN You’re basically helping Boo die right now. This show should be called Who Killed Boo, and it’s you, you did it. I, I can’t talk to you right now, I’m, I’m sorry— EMMA Logan. Logan. Logan Logan Logan look at the tv. Look at the tv. 40
  • 41. CAFETERIA. DENVER [narrator] After Boo and Jo spend an hour and a half interviewing staff members— Jo gets a call. BOO This is the youngest hospital ever been in. Everybody’s fuckin new! JO (to phone) Hey. How’s the progress? You found him? BOO Who? Found who? JO Shh! (to phone) Say the name again? “Not-Boo” was distracting me. Pete Cantu. Oh he’s Italiano, that’s cute. Okayyy. BOO What!? What!? That’s fucking crazy— How did they find him!? Let, let talk to them! JO I can put them on speaker phone if you want. Jo presses a button. DAN [speaker phone] —owe us a favor. 41
  • 42. JO Yeah, yeah, I owe you, I know. Do you want me to make a meat loaf for your birthday party? DAN [speaker phone] We had something else in mind. JO Alright, ok, well, we’ll talk about this later, we’re in a rush! DAN [speaker phone] Dylan, dude, shut up, I’m on the phone! BOO Dan, how did you do it? How did you find his name? DAN [speaker phone] Oh it’s Little Curtis! Mwa mwa! I have my ways. How you been? BOO Pretty good. DAN [speaker phone] But we didn’t just find his name. We found him. BOO Sorry— you found him? You found the guy who strangled Alaska!? DAN [speaker phone] He’s in Room 205. JO Oh my god. 42
  • 43. DAN [speaker phone] In Building C. JO (unison) Holy shit! Good fucking job, you guys! BOO (unison) Wait wait wait why is he in the hospital!? How is that, um… Mn? JO Boo, I think you’re right. BOO About what? JO Synchronicities. Maybe there are no coincidences. BOO Yeah… No coincidences. DAN [speaker phone] Uhhh. Aren’t you guys in a rush? JO Yeah we are! What room was it? DAN [speaker phone] Room 205. JO Okay, see you later! 43
  • 44. DAN [speaker phone] Thank you— In Building C! JO Let’s go! DAN [speaker phone] Yeah, ok, bye— HALLWAY. JO Why’re you still nervous? BOO Something’s off. Dylan and Dan might’ve got confused. JO I have the world’s pickiest person as my best friend! I should’ve known. BOO Never said your best friend. JO (unison) I wasn’t saying I’m YOUR best friend— BOO (unison) Don’t really do labels. JO Yes you do. You’re bi. You have said to me, “Jo, I’m bi.” 44
  • 45. ELEVATOR. BOO That one’s different. That’s more like everybody around was calling that so eventually just went with it. Having certain apps on phone does not an identity make, you feel? JO How about being crazy? You told me you’re crazy and that’s a label— BOO Woahhhh, I never said that. I am not crazy. Pause. JO You talked normal. Elevator doors open. 45
  • 46. NEW HALLWAY. NURSE 5 Hi, are you lost? BOO We’re good. She’s just helping walk back to room. Jo grumbles. NURSE 5 Ok, great. Let’s go split him open. A voice is laughing. PETE CANTU’S HOSPITAL ROOM. POLICE OFFICER Can I help you? DENVER [narrator] Boo and Jo enter the hospital room to see not one, but two men in the room. The first is Pete Cantu, who lies in his bed, laughing at the ceiling. The second is a police officer in a dark uniform, sitting in a nearby chair with his legs spread. JO Hello sir. We’re here to meet Pete Cantu. 46
  • 47. Pete Cantu stops laughing. POLICE OFFICER And do you have permission to visit at this time of night? JO Kind of. Yeah. I’m Josephine Magaro, by the way. This is my friend, or well, I guess he’s just some guy that I brought. BOO Hi. POLICE OFFICER Okay. You said you’re Josephine Magaro? JO Yup. POLICE OFFICER Did you used to have a different last name? JO That is correct, sir. POLICE OFFICER Okay. And you have business with Pete. JO Yes we do. 47
  • 48. POLICE OFFICER He’s in a hospital gown. Ma’am, I’ll need to check you for weapons. JO Interesting. Okay. POLICE OFFICER Pardon me. DENVER [narrator] He pats down the pale woman in front of him. POLICE OFFICER You’re set. Do you see that radiator over there? JO Yes sir. POLICE OFFICER While you’re visiting this guy, I’d like both of you to stand over there where I can see you and do not step within four feet of Pete. Can you do that for me? JO I hope that makes you feel better, sir. C’mon Boo. If it puts you at ease any, I have a little card I can show you? POLICE OFFICER I don’t need your PBA card, thank you. If you have anything to say to Pete, you can go ahead. He’s not going to answer, but you can try. 48
  • 49. JO Okay. Pete, can you hear us? BOO What’s wrong with him? POLICE OFFICER Are you asking me? He’s a vegetable. He talks sometimes if you’ll wait. The words come out eventually. BOO And, uh. Why, why are you here— sir? Does he have enemies? POLICE OFFICER Mm. I’m just the escort. The idea is that I’m supposed to protect you… whether you need it or not. He’s a patient at the Kirby Forensic Psychiatric Center. That means he’s a felon. He’s criminally insane. BOO It’s hard to get that… POLICE OFFICER Say again? BOO Uh. It’s, just. Hard to get that prognosis. Or so hear. Because— y’know. Most of the criminally insane are just plain criminals. POLICE OFFICER That’s true. You’re probably right about that. 49
  • 50. BOO How often does he come to? POLICE OFFICER He talks every five minutes. Just don’t watch the kettle. It’ll be no time. BOO How did he end up at Curvy? POLICE OFFICER Why did he end up at Kirby? He assaulted an officer and he resisted arrest. BOO What arrest was he resisting? POLICE OFFICER He assaulted some other guy first. BOO Who? POLICE OFFICER I don’t know. BOO Heard that Pete was a medic. POLICE OFFICER Yeah, I heard that too. He used to ride around in an ambulance. And sometimes I feel like I’m gonna end up like he did— staring off into space all the time. Crazy is contagious. 50
  • 51. BOO So he wasn’t always like this. POLICE OFFICER No. The rumor is he was bringing someone along to the hospital and he suddenly had a psychotic break where he was seeing voices, and he got violent. A few minutes later, during his arrest, he went catatonic and he’s been a vegetable ever since. He used to be a normal guy living a normal life, at least, normal for a first responder. I bet he brought a few people to this hospital. BOO Pretty sure he did. Pretty sure he brought— brought brother to this hospital. Brought brother… Pause. BOO Why was Pete brought to this hospital today? POLICE OFFICER Nobody knows. BOO Nobody… Well. Didn’t they give you a reason to escort him to the hospital? POLICE OFFICER He’s just sick. Am I a doctor? I didn’t know. Am I wearing scrubs right now? BOO What are his symptoms? 51
  • 52. POLICE OFFICER This is not a situation where you interview me. You can either “talk to” Pete, or you can be courteous with me, or you can stand there in silence. Those are your three options. Pause. POLICE OFFICER See? That’s within your rights! JO Don’t talk to him like that. POLICE OFFICER Relax, we’re just having a conversation. JO That’s my best friend you’re talking to. POLICE OFFICER Aren’t you a little old for that? JO We’re not gonna have a problem. POLICE OFFICER Is that intended as a threat? JO No. 52
  • 53. POLICE OFFICER I didn’t know your type has friends. JO What’s your problem? BOO What is her type? Exc— what is her, what is her type? POLICE OFFICER I need you to back up. Pause. POLICE OFFICER I need you to stand there in silence or I need you to leave. Jo’s breath picks up. POLICE OFFICER Don’t you move. Don’t you say a word. Jo inhales. About to speak. 53
  • 54. PETE CANTU Jett palm on your gift. Hahaha. Do you— water? Crown. Fight. Youth. Ground. Ground ground ground. Ground ground ground. Ground ground ground. In the ground. In, not outside. In, not outside! In, not outside! Boo approaches Pete. PETE CANTU Forewarn me about the leash, prince! Friend strides. The ground is tempting to me. What do you think about it? What do you think about me? What do you think about sitting alone in a hospital room? What do you think about snakes? What do you think about Portuguese? What do you think about the telephone? What a dope and cool machine to call all my friends on. Call me on the telephone and don’t leave me alone. Happily ever snakes. Am I screaming? Am I screaming? Am I screaming? Am I screaming? Am I screaming? BOO He’s like Glory!! POLICE OFFICER Do NOT get close to him!! BOO He’s like Glory!! Pete, what did you to my brother!? POLICE OFFICER BACK OFF! BACK OFF OR I WILL NEED TO USE FORCE! BOO Where are you!? Need your help!! Have 36 hours left to live!! HELP!! HELP!! JO DON’T YOU TOUCH BOO! 54
  • 55. A scuffle. JO OH MY GOD! Jo screams. HOSPITAL ROOM. BOO You are looking at. All of you are looking at. Stop looking at. Look away. Look away. Look away. EMMA Boo are you okay? BOO Having some kind of. Some kind of. Nightmare! Boo screams. JO You’re in your hospital room. You banged your head again. The man who did it is gone now. He broke a promise. 55
  • 56. Boo screams. JO Emma, Emma, tell him! Tell Boo what you told me! Boo screams and whines and panics. EMMA Denver and Logan and Bobby were watching footage of Alaska from when he got to the hospital. Alaska’s throat was bruised in that video. That means Logan was telling the truth. Alaska really was strangled. JO By Pete! EMMA But also, there was a staff member that attacked Alaska while he was in the hospital! Her name was Kenzie Joyce! I think she was an Outsider! BOO No no no! No no no! JO Boo! Boo, can you hear us? Alaska was attacked by two Outsiders! 56
  • 57. BOO They were Outsiders! Like body! They were Outsiders like body! Alaska was attacked by two Outsiders and he was stabbed by an Outsider! The Outsiders wanted to kill him! All the Outsiders wanted to kill him! They were gonna take him away! Know where all the answers are! Know it! Need to go to bottom of the lake! Need to go to bottom of the lake! The lake! The lake! The lake! The lake! A hug. BOO Why are you hugging? JO You can’t go. You can’t go to the lake. BOO The lake in Stump Town is the connection to Purgatory. JO I know. But you can’t go, Boo. BOO Okay. 57
  • 58. CREDITS [Song: “Stabilizer” by The Ghost Factory.] THE GHOST FACTORY WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun SCRIPT EDITOR - Katrina Clairvoyant ASSISTANT PRODUCER - Lorena De Leon MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun, AJCW SOUND DESIGN - Andres Buitrago, Austin Blackwell AUDIO EDITING - Thomas Annunziata MIX & MASTER - Manas Kunder, Chris Zagortchev ART - Bella Wynne, Lock Reinhardt, and doritofalls JO MAGARO - Sally Roberts EMMA WOOTEN - Liz Mina LOGAN GOLDBERG - Trent Trachtenberg BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Parker BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo DAN - Donald Sutton PHARMACIST / PRIEST - Susan Paerels SECURITY GUARD - Emily Ellsworth ORDERLY - Katherine Moustakis 58
  • 59. NURSE 3 - Cole Demcher NURSE 4 - Dan Luke NURSE 5 - Debbie Soelter PETE CANTU - Diego Reyes POLICE OFFICER - Zane Boyer PATRONS - LavenderKozzy, grinleysspa, Antigone, LaceAnn, MishaWarlock, Shay, Andrew Roper, CJ Taylor Caldwell, Lilly Carleton, Brad Goupil, NarJuzz, Emma, Nicole Collard, Shep, Sarah, Ash, Shoshi, LivinLuxuriouslySelena, and Kelly Brennan! 59