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WHO KILLED ALASKA
#15 - 5½ STORIES (Part Two)
written by
Cameron Cooper LeBrun
EMMA’S HOME.
EMMA
I wanna tell you a story. It’s a little messy, but it’s earnest. Can you listen carefully?
BUSY HIGHWAY.
GLORY / BOO / BOBBY / LOGAN / EMMA / JO
Who Killed Alaska. Five and a Half Stories.
DENVER [narrator]
Part Two.
THEME SONG
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PARKING GARAGE.
DENVER
What’re you doing?
BOO
Taking off my mask.
DENVER
You don’t have to do that, you—
BOO
You look like you’ve seen a ghost. I know why, though…
DENVER
Nice face—
BOO
Yeah. I know. Contrary to what you expect, I wear the mask and the goggles because when
people look at my face, there’s nothing wrong with it— I’ll just tell you how the story goes. I’ll
tell you, uh, starting from the, the start.
As a kid, hide and seek was the most fun thing to do cause I could just, I could spend
time alone. I’ve always been treated different because people can’t stop looking at me, and they
can’t look away. Five was a rough year. The adults always crowded me. They like my face. I
missed being four. Then I went into school and one by one, my classmates happened to glance in
my direction, and as soon as they did, they were stuck staring at me. So by the end of every class,
the whole room was looking at me while talking about circles and squares. The teacher couldn’t
even look around for raised hands while— or even write on the board or read from books. That’s
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why I say I had a massive disadvantage in school and so did anybody who was in class with me.
They just didn’t even seem aware that they were staring at me, like they were spacing out.
Maybe that’s why I took so long to learn how to read. And by the way I’m pretty good at Rubik’s
cubes, so I probably have an Einstein-level brain that wasn’t brought to the Einstein level.
I would assume I was the only person in the world who had this happening to them. I
mean, and I don’t know how I managed to navigate this cause, y’know when I walked on the
sidewalk, there were multiple occasions where a driver glanced betwixt my eyeballs and got
stuck watching the— not the road, watching me, and then y’know, he or she or they crashed into
a lamppost. So I had to figure out how the world worked at top speed. I became aware of every
single element in my surroundings, and I had to, or else the chef would burn food on the stove.
It’s been a while since I explained this. Um. I got called “little angel” a lot. People talked to me
like they wanted their own. Same way you talk to a rare dog breed. It’s not like I was really
listened to.
It could be a privilege, sometimes. A girl in my class asked me out when we were six, but
I wasn’t raised with enough personality to want any specific people as friends. When someone
talked to me, I responded. I missed being five. And they never even realized they were staring at
me— like you, right now, Detective. Don’t make excuses. This happens whenever my face is in
view. Just remind yourself to blink. If you don’t try to blink actively, you just won’t.
By the way, my mom runs that company that makes boat paint and my dad coaches
Olympic sprinters. The success is usually inherited. This is important context, I’m not just saying
this to be weird about, like—
Fuck. So.
4
I was born with hip dysplasia which was caught late, so doctors kept telling my parents to
take me out of running until they eventually did. But we didn’t have arguments and I was
popular at dinner parties, so they set me up for other opportunities.
That was when I started chess.
I liked chess right away because I could remind people to stop looking at me and it
wasn’t weird. “Your move.” All I had to say was “your move” and the teacher would stop
staring. Back then, I must’ve been, like, seven, like unhappy I wasn’t six. Having a personality
didn’t benefit me at that age. Caring wasn’t what I did. And here’s the thing: I wasn’t really
expected to win. I was set up with chess for the aesthetic. And yet, while nobody was looking… I
learned.
It was a game of deduction. My parents looked down the hallway and just saw me in the
study, with my teacher, moving elegant mini statues over a table. My teacher just saw a dumb
little angel in me, like a painting of a poised little person. But I was turning my brain into a
calculator. I was crawling inside his mind. And the calculator was breaking it all down into
formulae.They shouldn’t’ve let me had chess— I remember the first time I beat him. I said “your
move” but he had no moves left. I opened my hand and showed him his queen. I was eight.
And then they were fucked. They were all dead to me the moment that I learned for the
first time.
Games were the only things I liked in the pre-twink era. I mean not games as in with a
screen or a board, I mean games with risks. Then my parents made a big show of pairing me up
with harder and harder players, and my mom didn’t get that I could just “not be ready.” I made
some dace- uh, I made, uh, I made some decent moves, but I was set up to be checked over and
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over and over and over against aspiring grandmasters with serious-person leather patches on
their elbows. That’s when my second game started: I stole things. I calculated the opponent’s
attention and their motivations. Then their rook was in my pocket. It was a game of deduction.
Sleight of hand is just a mind game— mind game! That’s the word for it. Y’know it’s hard to
resist something like that. And I was competitive, I, I was ready to burn them all. Then I
frightened them, and I bested them, and I was their little devil instead.
To be honest with you, I did and didn’t know that everyone was stuck staring at me. I
learned to cope with it before I realized what was happening. But y’know nobody stared at the
camera in tv shows and they would look all around. That was concerning. And puberty hit me
hard, and I’m also just so hard to please, and— and my parents were catching onto my
kleptomania? Like— Oh!— Oh, oh, I remember stealing a Good Charlotte sticker in middle
school, and I, I had to silently watch while my family cut up and ate their steak dinner with green
beans. Fuckin love green beans. Y’know, and then I ran to my room— I ran to my room, and I
punched a hole in the wall because green beans are fucking good and y’know, and then I cried
because punching a wall is fucking bad for you. It’s bad for the bones in your hand. Y’know?
And then I broke my brother’s Xbox controller with a hammer because I was a legitimately bad
person. I think I was missing being twelve, so like, I must’ve, I must’ve been like thirteen, or.
Huh. Huh, that’s like a weird way to think about it, right? How am I doing that? What am I?—
Okay, fine, fine, I’m moving on. Um. This is where it gets easier to remember. Let’s talk
about, uh, about high school. We were put into a private school called… the Holy Cross. No, not,
not “the,” just— You can think of Roslyn as being an all-brick kind of place. Holy Cross had a
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reddish brick facade, and then a massive cross in front— what? I’m painting you like, like a
word picture.
When I got to high school, the performance was over. When I was in my car, I blasted
music as much as possible so y’all kept distance. If someone complained, I cranked it up so the
bass vibrated their insides pretty much and they got, y’know, weird vibes and left. I met Glory
pretty quickly in freshman year and then her friends were my friends. Bobby wasn’t
representative of the friend group, but he was like, the friendly mascot boy. It was pretty
common to hide knives in our uniforms, although we didn’t really use those.
I dunno, high school was— I dunno! High school was when I figured out all the things
that were going on, like that I was weird, and my life was weird, and I could articulate to my— I
could articulate that to my friends! Starting in someone’s basement at 11pm, and then eventually
it was the kind of thing you just confessed to the new regular at our lunch table. I was tired of it.
So I stole shit. I got my ears pierced. I played around in detention. I came out as bi out of spite. I
made out with— (snorts) Sorry, I kissed some girl’s boyfriend. Sorry, that-one-girl. I also did this
thing where you would say to me, “You’re actually so handsome. Your parents gave you good
genes,” and I’d say, “I hope your mom dies, Jenny.” Something like that. I don’t know. I didn’t
reinvent the wheel of conversations. But yeah, man. The only time— the— look, I was only ever
responding to expectations of me being weak and passive, instead of living independently of
those expectations. And in my mind, like. This is funny. I register that as a game, too. And the
win condition was being as annoying and hated as imaginably possible. Which I did great at. My
parents got really bad, and then there was Alaska— Oh, Alaska. I haven’t told you a thing about
him.
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Alaska kept a straight spine and Alaska felt important in every conversation. I mean like
he couldn’t figure out like this mind games-y puzzle-thinking stuff but he’s— look, his charisma
was more of a, like a raw thing, y’know? I’m talking like the Fonz hitting a jukebox and it
suddenly working-type shit, it’s like. He walked into the room and the air just, it changed, it
changed, it was different, it was the opposite of a ghost, which is funny considering he, um— I
dunno, what, he just needed five seconds of saying how his day was going and you were— you
were locked in. It was like he had a script or something! You were waiting for each next word
and then he was just telling you that the backyard pool was cold, that’s all he was saying. And
you were into it! It was so precise. The man didn’t stutter a day in his life. Absolutely no self-
doubt. So naturally, this dude was a stupid, narcissistic butthole. But when you were like Alaska,
you kinda had to be. You’re not able to be the way he was, to be as sure and reassured of yourself
as he was by caring about anybody but yourself. You can’t— be right as much as he was right
while taking someone else’s feelings into consideration, you just can’t do it. And Alaska was the
type of guy who was comfortable with that weight, being okay with knowing that his greatest
strength was probably his greatest flaw, but like, it didn’t feel like that, it never felt like that. And
he was always listened to, cause he was like a man’s man, like. He was like way more masculine
than me, and he was actually listened to, because people are shitty like that. And y’know my dad
just encouraged us to chase each other around and he went from being faster to four times as fast,
and it was even like he was training especially hard, it’s just, things came easy to him. Like, I
think there’s something wrong with my body, like anemia, or. (sniffs) I mean I, I guess I was—
The anorexia came later, I.
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I wa- I was busy with my rebellion against nothing, like an aesthetic without ideology or
politics, which, don’t have to worry about anymore, comrade. Look, I started dating my friend
Tyler to be controversial. That’s why I got the poopy beaten out of me. And. And yeah, that’s
pretty much everything you don’t know.
No, I mean, I can talk more about that. I don’t care. Um. It was a Catholic school. So
even if most people at the school were Jewish, there was a handful of Catholic kids with shiny
cross necklaces, and a lot of those were the outspoken white supremacists who were too mean to
be popular. Almost all of them were firefighters or friends with firefighters or family of
firefighters. It’s weird because my group was so adjacent to the firefighters where we knew all of
them, like Glory slept with a firefighter who couldn’t find the vaginal opening. It was a bad word
in our school, like “firefighter” was a bad word— and if you hid a switch-blade in your jacket, or
you were in detention more than once a month, you probably had beef with a firefighter. Me and
Tyler could gently graze our pinky fingers next to each other and the firefighters would scream
and cry and piss their fucking pants. Which sucked for them because they were stuck looking at
me. Same as everybody else. I almost got suspended for all the fights that I was having with the
firefighters, like. Well actually there were— there were two exceptions. The first was that, like
after I came out, Alaska was way rough on me compared to any firefighter. The second was
Logan. Haven’t you heard a certain program? Mine? Yours? Logan and me were hating each
other under the table from the early episodes, y’know? It was lowkey.
Logan was a bully. He— He leaf’t, okay, wait, he made like a tree and leaf’t me bleeding
in the dirt. And it was, it was raining, and everything, it was, I mean, it was, it was dramatic.
Even now, Logan isn’t in the top two of my closest friends. When we trade really dumb drawings
9
of each other, like— we pass notes back and forth that’re just drawings of clowns that’re labeled
“you” with a big arrow… I mean, it’s like, tense and shit, you know? There’s a lot going on
under the water’s surface, like. It’s like water that hide things— hides things. Right? You said
what? I mean, I was literally about to talk about Alaska anyway, like. I was already gonna.
For one of Alaska’s senior pranks, one of them, he was gonna get a cow into the school’s
2nd floor. Because y’know like, cows can go up stairs, but they can’t go down stairs. Cows are
just like, they weigh a metric ton and their front legs are too spindly to hold their fat bodies when
they lean forward, so going down stairs makes them think they’re gonna die and annoying kids
fantasize that they’ll put a cow in the 2nd story of a building thereby making everybody stuck
with a cow that they don’t know what to do with. I refused to get involved with his jest because
at the time I hated fun.
Presumably why I hated myself, too, but y’know, I (mispronouncing) digress. His cow-
procuring plan really fell through into the water, so I managed to pity him. Up until he got on
cable news for throwing a Halloween party in April where he used real missing people’s posters
for decorations. He left the posters stapled to trees in the woods and when hikers found them,
they just assumed it was some kind of cult-like ritual or a trail of hints from an apathetic serial
murderer. Then I went back to pretending my brother didn’t deserve human rights and wasn’t
related to me, which boy, did that help everybody involved. Fucking stupid-ass— Uh, yeah! And
then he graduated. And he got kicked out of the house. Because… he was just a high school track
star and he wasn’t an Olympic star. He didn’t actually have a plan and then he went on to live on
other people’s couches. Which I was, I was okay with that.
Then Alaska died.
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School came back a couple weeks after that. It turned out some uh, some of uh, Alaska’s
buddies actually managed to get a cow onto the 2nd floor for their own prank, and it was living
off hay for a few months, actually. We were all outside on the sidewalk. And they had this crane
that was using, that they were using to procure the cow from the 2nd floor window. And the cow
was just hanging from ropes. It looked upset and I was looking for a strategic position to make
sure it wouldn’t throw up on me. But, y’know, while this cow was hanging from a crane, nobody
was watching. Nobody was watching the cow. They were watching me. And they told me I
looked sad.
I skipped some school. I needed to get away from people. And then it was 2020, and I
mean you know how that went. I didn’t have to skip classes and I’ve worn a mask ever since.
The goggles came later. That year, I realized Alaska was right about our parents. I’m skipping a
step here, but y’know, that’s another story for another time. Then I tried to move to Staten Island,
didn’t have the funds, and failed like my parents always said I would. I spent two years not
killing myself because I have a dog and I want to feed them every day for the rest of their life. I
went blond. Then I spent a year working on solving my brother’s murder. And now I’m here.
Wee.
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AD BREAK
HOST
Oh hi. Who’s this speaking to you? It’s me, Cameron LeBrun, the person who kinda made this
show along with a bunch of other people. This is less of an ad and more of me telling you about
stuff that we have coming out.
Main really big announcement: we have a bonus episode that’s going to be coming out
next week. How do you listen to it? Behind a paywall. But wait! Episode 15.5, there is a free
way to listen to it and there is a paid way to listen to it. The free way is that we will have a
listening party in a week from now, on Thursday. There’s a Discord server. We’re not using it to
get your information, there’s no way for you to pay us through the Discord server. This is all very
innocent! If you wanna have fun with us, if you wanna hang out, maybe you’ll even meet some
of the cast. We’ll have a listening party on the fan community episode. Come to that. It’ll be a
great time. It’ll be the best. Okay, what’s the paid way to listen to the episode? Cause you only
get to listen to it once on the fan community Discord, right? If you wanna help support the show,
you can come become a Patron on Patreon. You’ll get in the credits, Boo and Denver will say
your name, we’ll be posting lots of cool stuff soon, but most importantly, there’s episode 15.5,
it’s coming out soon. The bonus episode is called “The Glory Days” and it is a flashback episode
which includes the younger version of almost every character.
Also we have an album coming out soon and it’s gonna include the song that Jo sings, but
don’t worry about that yet. Just remember, bonus episode— also, like, if you like that song, there
will be an album— but focus on the bonus episode. There’s a bonus episode. You’ll love it. Or
not. I hope you’ll love it. Alright.
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No but for real. Thank you to LavendarKozzy, thank you to grinleysspa, thank you to
Emma, thank you to Lilly Carleton, thank you to CJ Taylor Caldwell, thank you to Nicole
Collard, thank you to Sarah, thank you to Brad Goupil, thank you to LaceAnn, thank you to
Shep, thank you to Antigone, thank you to Andrew Roper— did I say your name twice? No I
didn’t. Thank you to Ash, thank you to Shoshi, thank you to Shoshi and Ash. I think they’re
friends! They joined at the same time. Thank you to LivinLuxuriouslySelena! I love your name. I
hope you’re out there, livin luxuriously. Have a great day! It really means a lot that you’re
helping us through Patreon. I was really sad because we lost some people through Patreon during
the hiatus. Have a great day, everybody. Also if you’re not on the Patreon, have a good day to
you. Have a good day to you also. If you’re never gonna get on the Patreon, have a great day.
Okay. See you guys. Been good seein ya. Bye.
13
JO’S HOUSE.
JO
Jo Magaro. Okay, so when I was in high school, I did this really dumb thing. I pretended I was
getting seizures. Sometimes it was fainting, sometimes it was seizures. And everybody would
come help. They threw the chairs out of the way and they ran to me, and at the end, when I saw
them, they felt SO bad for me— except for one person. Someone you know.
By the way, I’m an empath. Did you know that? Cause I can like see people’s feelings. In
essence, colors mix up like clouds on a man or a woman’s torso, any gender assignment or
orientation, or like gay or bi— Boo’s bi. Did you know that? Anyways, like any torso. For
example, when I opened my eyes and oh, everybody was worried about me, that emotion was
swirling— like blue laundry— in a washing machine. Like, swirling, swirling. And a prick of
yellow in the middle of the collar bones, just a prick, y’know, cause pity is very sharp.
Everybody pitied me except for Emma. Yeah, your Emma, my Emma, Emma Wooten. She
looked at me and she barely felt anything at all. And from that moment, I knew: I was gonna kick
her ass. But then I didn’t, I took the highroad. Anyway, she didn’t care at all that I was sick.
Whatever, let’s move on.
Okay, for background! I always wanted to be a singer. Honey, when I heard Ke$ha? I
knew. I knew! And then in jail, I made friends with this music producer who’s like pretty viral.
She’s actually very big on Long Island. She got me in the studio and we made a demo. It was no
big deal or anything.
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THE SONG PLAYS.
JO
The spotlight on me / The glint in—
JO’S HOUSE.
JO
So I brought that song to the school talent show.
SCHOOL AUDITORIUM.
JO
The—
JO’S HOUSE.
JO
And I looked in the audience, people didn’t understand the song, I can tell you that. Y’know,
empath— people are stupid. And guess who was there? Emma. Emma was staring at me and she
felt nothing. That fucked me up.
SCHOOL AUDITORIUM.
JO
The spotlight on me
15
JO’S HOUSE.
JO
That was PTSD.
SCHOOL AUDITORIUM.
JO
The glint in your eye
JO’S HOUSE.
JO
I had to take it up a notch. I had to show all of my haters that I was worth giving a shit about.
And I said to my producer, I like this. Now make me a pop star.
My dad was pissed about me doing this, because he didn’t want me to “get distracted”
instead of becoming grown and mature, plus he didn’t want my name in any headlines. But like I
had to keep going. Ugh, I feel so good telling this story! Thank you for listening to me and my
parlare. Okay, so listen to this, this is where the story really starts.
My producer said, ok, we’ll post the song somewhere, and I said, wait, I’m gonna get
even better. And I kept singing in front of my friends, every day, every day, every day, I’d sing
and see how their emotions shifted a little bit when I changed my singing style. Sometimes I
started to practice singing, in my room, with the door closed. I did my vocal exercises, and then I
did my song. And then— are you superstitious? Okay? Cause. Alright. Listen to this—
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Sometimes, when I sang, I heard two voices. There was my voice. And then, there was another
voice.
I mean this— I tried singing in a janitor’s closet. I thought maybe it was an echo, like
here’s the wall and here’s my voice and the voice, is like bouncing back maybe? Or y’know, or
maybe somebody was pranking me, like someone was playing a recording! But even in that
janitor’s closet, it always happened. And it happened every single time when I was alone. And I
tried showing my friends like Dylan and Dan, I think, like, you know them, and they said I was
crazy, but they were definitely messing with me. I think. But it’s like, I could hear this second
voice whenever I was alone, right? And every time I heard it… it was kinda like… it was getting
closer.
And I didn’t like that. I didn’t like it, no, I didn’t, I did not like that.
And I’m very passive as a person. Like I have trouble making decisions without people
telling me what to do. But change is something you decide to do. So I stopped singing, a little bit
at a time.
And things were normal for a while. But then the producer texted me. And she said she
booked me a performance. I mean it was like, this is an opener— nothing big, but I’d never
heard a whole crowd of people cheering for me, and I wanted to help her. So, y’know, so I
couldn’t say no. Because, and you know, it was right by the school! And can you imagine, like
what if Emma heard me? My number one hater was gonna hear me and I was gonna blow her
mind!
And then, y’know, I was on my way to being the singer I always wanted to be.
17
And everything came into place. Every rehearsal was better. My abusive boyf— ex-
boyfriend came to me like, “Who are you?” I was transforming. I practiced. In fact, I practiced so
hard my voice got deeper. That happens apparently. It’s fucking wild. And I had this vision that
was, I mean it was coming out of me. So I went to Glory and I said, “I really, I like the songs you
write about people in hospitals, let’s write this song together.” And then I went to my producer
and I said, “These are the new lyrics to the song,” and I handed her the sheet. And she was
reading through this scene in the lyrics about the nurse becoming desperate for power. And the “I
saw the cell death” part was creeping her out, y’know I could tell just from looking at her, and
this was all getting to her, and I said no, don’t you shrivel up. This is going to be a performance
that nobody will ever forget, and you either are going to let me do this or I live. And she went
with it. Then I hired backup dancers. I got a crew, too, I got a crew. And the other voice came
back sometimes, but like I figured out how to ignore it. And then I wanted a wall of lights to sort
of halo us, so I had a few of my buddies help out in putting together a wall of lights the way we
wanted it to look. And my producer like tried to shut me down but I told her I’d leave and she
just kept going with it. Isn’t that funny? Oh my god! Anyways, then in between hate-fucking this
producer’s boyfriend, I had this moment of like, total post-orgasm clarity and I thought,
suddenly: we need props. And that was when it became a story— and it was getting so much
bigger than any of us. And oh my— I also, I had a whole look that I figured out. I mean it was
gorgeous. I did my nails over and over until they were perfect; okay, so they were three inches
long, they were like nude-colored with this sequin pattern. And the gown— oh my gosh! Okay,
so what we did was I had these awful sort of like medical scrubs but then they would tear away
into this STUNNING gown. And then—But I also wanted to make sure that the second voice
18
wasn’t a problem, right, so I’m planning ahead, I’m looking ahead, so I got it on video. But
everybody kept telling me I was crazy and I needed to stop talking about Emma and the voices,
so I just kept ignoring the voice. I wanted everything to be perfect. Y’know, perfect! And if I was
pissing myself because I was too busy for the bathroom, that’s nobody’s business. No one could
stop me. I, yeah, I coughed up so much blood back then!
And then… well, it was, so it was a Sunday. And we were singing, I think it was Here I
Am, Lord, and the organist was pounding hard onto those keys y’know until it rang out into
awful tea-kettle sounds. And down in between two pews, a face was watching me. And I could
see, and it was someone in the pews over there. And it was me. And I couldn’t figure out how I
was looking at me if I was me. Y’know? And she was singing. If I— Well if I was me, how could
I— how could I from this body— right? Be— Anyways, it was so stupid I just ignored it. It’s
fucking stupid, that that would happen. It doesn’t make sense, and—
And nobody believed me. And when my, sorry, when her lips scrunched up for the lyrics,
the cheeks flapped around like fish meat. And I called the producer and I said we have, we gotta
cancel. But she was pissed. Y’know, like, “Oh, I did a million things to keep you on this project,
and it’s too late for you now,” and when I tried harder persuasion, she hung up on me.
So I, y’know, I dunno. I took time off practicing.
But still, next Sunday. I saw her— me— her. Squatting in the pews and singing. And she
was within 33 feet, of course, so that time, everything changed. Yeah, cause when I looked at her
torso, I could see what she was feeling.
I’m an empath. Sorry, I told you that? Yeah. And, so I can, right, like I know people’s
emotions. And I saw that inside that soul of hers, she was blood red. She was out for poison. All
19
that red, it was, it was jelling together all over her shoulders, and sh— and so that told me she
was swelling with greed. So I had to know: y’know, what did I want from me? She. Sorry, I said
she, right? What did she want from me? What did she want— What did she want from me?
You know what I think? I smell blood in the water. We’re talking about a crowd of
people… cheering for her and herself. Becoming a symbol of rapture. She wanted the kind of
fame that pulls angels down from heaven just to type out on the internet, “I love you, I love you,
please never die. Live forever, die never, sign my brain in permanent fucking marker.” I was
about to change the world. And this time, the world would see it with its own eyes and everyone
was gonna be happy when I walked in the room. I was about to be famous. And she? Was
jealous.
So. Okay, let me tell you about what happened next. So then it was the real sound check.
They had to, they had to do it at a separate location from the show, and it was in a bar, like a big,
dark bar— and the crew was not happy about my wall of lights and the props and the extra,
y’know, prep time the hairspray needed to set, but, whatever. They came around to the
adjustments and I was patient with them. And I went up… onto the stage, and all the little people
in the audience looked up from their chairs at the back of the room and they looked at me and
they had stars in their eyes and they had pink in their souls.
And she wasn’t singing with me, this time. Right? She wasn’t, she didn’t want to out
herself, I guess. But she was standing in the corner. And that was a threat. And I wasn’t gonna let
her crush my dream.
So then it’s the day of the performance. And it was by the lake. In the village. Right by
the clock tower. Me and the backup dancers had stations to get ready, and we put on our war
20
paint— y’know, that’s what my grandma calls it. Isn’t that cute? Yeah. I know, I love it. Uh, and,
anyways, so we had a key to the lock our green room, for our own safety. And I waited for the
backup dancers to finish getting ready. They tried talking to me, I was like “don’t talk to me right
now.” They were just being bitches. Anyway, so then they left. And so I was alone in the green
room, right? And so I, I, and I inhaled into my diaphragm. And I started singing. And y’know
what? I realized she was in the corner. I just, like, realized it, and she was singing with me. She
started dragging her feet towards me. Slowly. Slowly. And so then I ran for the door, I ran for it,
and I locked her inside. And I was singing with her, and I heard her singing behind that door, and
then I had to get to the stage. I didn’t need a mirror. I didn’t need anything. I put it all on while I
strutted, y’know, like this, I stepped into the boots like it was nothing, the gloves rolled up my
arms, I let my hair down, I walked into it, while she was y’know, still like banging on that door.
I’m hearing her, banging on that door. There’s not enough love to go around. Right? That’s what
I was thinking to myself. So it was all mine.
And I heard my music starting.
But it, but it was too, I mean it came in too early. It wasn’t, it wasn’t time yet. Y’know, I
wasn’t on my mark yet, the timing was wrong. I was still backstage. And so, I started, I was like,
shit, I started to run for it, and my heel broke, so I was running with a broken heel, and then I
heard the singing started.
Right the, I mean the singing started! But I wasn’t singing. So I turned the corner and I
got to the wing of the stage, and I saw her on the stage that was mine.
21
OUTDOOR CONCERT.
THE OTHER JO
God help me, me oh my / I watch the people die
JO [present day]
I had to stop her. I had to do something.
THE OTHER JO
But who can pull the plug
JO [present day]
So I stepped up onto the stage.
THE OTHER JO
Oh, hello,
PAST JO / THE OTHER JO
Good—
Surprised cheers.
THE OTHER JO
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the OTHER Jo Magaro! Hellooo.
PAST JO / THE OTHER JO
Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah
22
JO [present day]
The backup dancers were staring at me, a couple of them side-stepped into each other. And then I
looked out into the crowd… I looked. And they were enamored. They were trying to figure out
how I did this, because, because they really thought it was my plan! And I wasn’t crazy, they
could see her! And they loved ME! I coughed up some blood on that stage—
Jo of the past coughs.
JO [present day]
And she kept dancing and smiling. She didn’t have to practice or work like I did.
PAST JO / THE OTHER JO
One, two, one two, one pull to end you
JO [present day]
I didn’t know what to do, so I just… fucking attacked her!
Past Jo is trying to hit The Other Jo.
The crowd cheers in amazement.
PAST JO / THE OTHER JO
Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah
23
JO [present day]
She was literally ducking and weaving, and the audience was— they were into it! They really
thought it was all an act! But she was really like me, because… you know what? She knew how
to pull a punch. That thing, that creature started gesturing for me to come closer. And I did! My
legs cramped up and they started moving under me. And my arms were moving around me—
and it was all in time with her. She was controlling me.
THE OTHER JO (unison)
In your corpse / I saw the cell death / Spread inside the cornea / Uh oh, I don’t sleep / I’m rising
higher
PAST JO (unison)
What’re you doing to me? What, what is this!? URGH!
JO [present day]
And she brought my hands… around her throat. And she forced me to choke her.
THE OTHER JO
I’m rising higher / All to—
Past Jo snaps The Other Jo’s neck.
The Other Jo chokes in Past Jo’s grip.
THE OTHER JO
(choking) I change my mind. No, no, do it. No, no, I change—
24
JO [present day]
She went quiet.
The Other Jo’s body drops to the ground.
JO [present day]
Then so was the audience. And I looked to the audience. And I delved in. And I took Emma by
the throat. And I started to choke her.
The crowd screams in terror.
Jo grabs Emma’s throat and squeezes.
PAST JO
And we will survive / Your soul and I / Your soul and I
JO [present day]
There was no fear in her while I was choking her to death. I’m an empath— you know that. You
know, right? I bet you can tell. Like, I’m an empath and I couldn’t see any bit of fear inside of
her while I was on the verge of taking her out forever. And that was when it finally clicked in me.
This whole time, it wasn’t that Emma was unimpressed. It was that I couldn’t read her. And I still
can’t. Emma Wooten is empty on the inside. I didn’t see any feeling from her because she doesn’t
feel. And me? I was worth it. The whole time! Oh, the joy I felt! The absolute, beautiful,
overwhelming joy. The answer was inside of me all along. I was pink again.
25
PAST JO
Or you can die. IT’S ALL JUST PART OF THE SONG! THE VIOLENCE IS JUST PART OF
THE PERFORMANCE! ISN’T THIS THE BEST SHOW YOU’VE EVER SEEN? NOBODY
WILL EVER LOOK AWAY! AREN’T YOU GOING OUT OF YOUR MIND? AREN’T WE
ALL OUT OF OUR FUCKING MINDS?
The chorus hits.
PAST JO
SING IT FOR ME! I SAID SING! SING! SECURITY— THEY’RE ASSAULTING ME!
SOMEBODY HELP ME— GET OFF ME, YOU’RE MY SECURITY! YOU’RE RUINING MY
SONG!
When you say your prayers / You remember me / It’s the end of you / That’s the end of
me / At the end of you / That’s the end of me / At the end of you / Who remembers
Running. Screaming.
PAST JO
Who remembers? / Who remembers?
SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE
Oh, god! What is happening? Get up! Get up! Run! Run! Get up! Get up! Come on! Please!
26
PAST JO
Who remembers? / Who remembers? / Who remembers?
We hear Jo being handcuffed.
PAST JO
Who remembers? / Who remembers? / Who remembers?
JO’S HOUSE.
JO
Yeah. And then I was arrested and I spent the next couple months in a padded room. (chuckles)
No! No, I’m just kidding. It was just a regular mental hospital. And that girl’s body was never
found. Nobody will ever believe me. (laughs)
27
GLORY’S HOUSE.
GLORY
Draw… Workshop… Arena…
GLORY’S MOTHER (unison)
Has Glory gotten anything to eat? Okay, okay!
GLORY (unison)
Pollution… I… your… pollution… and…
LATER.
GLORY
Mystery… Gradient… Master… and. And. And. Ground ground ground. Ground ground ground.
In the ground. In, not outside. Homework. Hallway. Met Boo with a handshake. “Hey there,
prettyboy. Do you come here often?” Flower. Cafeteria. I told him my name is my name is.
Handshake. Our fingerless gloves got tangled too. I devoured. Formula. Fist. Flip the. The sands
of the. Time. Ground ground ground. In the ground. From the start. With his hand. He was mine.
But I never had to be anything but. Like a chameleon. Like eat words and you never know what
look like. I’ll take all of you over. Look up and see me. Please. Please look up. Wheat. Remark.
Remain. Ground ground ground. In the ground. MOM! I don’t need a fucking job! I’ll get in! I
just need one more year and— Hello? Hello? I just wanted to confirm that I wasn’t accepted?
Snakes? Portuguese? What’s a phone? My name’s Glory-ground. Grooound. I lift boxes at
Amazon. Hey prettyboy. I like your voice. Let me hear more of it. Give me everything. More
28
words. More. I’ll eat them and steal them and turn them into Glory. Turn them into Glory. Turn
them into Glory. And then. And then. And then. FORGET!
29
PARKING GARAGE.
DENVER
You really like chess.
BOO
Yeah.
DENVER
What do you like about it?
BOO
I know what you’re getting at.
DENVER
Hm?
BOO
Oh. Okay. Psyche. Forget that…
DENVER
Do you— I think I’m gonna head inside and grab Starbucks before I go. It’s been good talking to
you, Boo.
BOO
Starbucks— I’m good. Don’t buy me shit, okay?
DENVER
You really read my mind there.
30
BOO
I just— I don’t like what Starbucks corporate is doing these days. That’s just my choice for my
own comfort. People think I’m gonna freak out and it’s just like. You really think I give a crap,
huh? It’s like. It’s like, goober behavior.
DENVER
I love that you knew it, you knew exactly what I was gonna do.
BOO
Ha… You’re obvious, so it’s just response time, and… What were you gonna say before?
DENVER
What’s that?
BOO
Before you said “do you” and then proceeded to not finish your sentence. Honestly don’t really
give a fuck, so—
DENVER
Do you see chess everywhere?
BOO
Huh. That’s a, that’s a weird question. Have you heard of the philosophy called “If all you have
is a hammer?”
DENVER
You’re smiling.
BOO
No…
31
DENVER
You really do like chess. Maybe you’ve been having fun this whole time.
BOO
Okay, solving Alaska’s death isn’t a game to me.
DENVER
I didn’t say anything about Alaska.
BOO
Okay psyche. I just mentioned that because it’s been fun because of who I’ve been around. Jo
and everybody else, and…
DENVER
Really? It’s been fun for you?
Boo clears his throat.
DENVER
You do trust them?
BOO
Are you calling me fake?
DENVER
You don’t like that. You don’t like being called fake. That’s okay.
BOO
Read my mind. We are not…
32
DENVER
Friends. So you don’t have to tell me who is and who isn’t your friend. I’ll learn how to play the
game, okay?
Boo laughs.
DENVER
But…
BOO
But?
DENVER
If you did do it, Boo… if you killed Alaska? We’re fucked. I don’t think I’ll be able to outplay
you. I don’t think anybody can.
BOO
I’m sure you’ll figure something out.
DENVER
No, no. If it was you, if it was really you, you’ve been overlooked by everyone you’ve met from
day one to here. When you took your mask off, I could see your eyes, Boo. They don’t see how
you’re analyzing everything. There are killers that we never hear about, Boo. Never. Because
they’ve never been found. I hope, I really hope that you’re not one of them, Boo.
33
BOO
Well, Denver. Guess you have to pray it’s not me. Come on, man, let’s just, let’s shake on it.
Doesn’t matter who did it— do you think you can beat me? May the best man win.
34
CREDITS
THE GHOST FACTORY
WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun
SCRIPT EDITOR - Katrina Clairvoyant
ASSISTANT PRODUCER - Lorena De Leon
MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun
ONE-TWO MIXED BY - IzzyMix
SOUND DESIGN - Andres Buitrago, Austin Blackwell
MIX & MASTER - Manas Kunder, Chris Zagortchev
ART - Bella Wynne, Lock Reinhardt, and doritofalls
BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Parker
LOGAN GOLDBERG - Trent Trachtenberg
EMMA WOOTEN - Liz Mina
BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd
FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo
GLORY JOHNSON - Lindsay Zana
JO MAGARO / THE OTHER JO / GLORY’S MOM - Sally Roberts
CROWD VOICES - Emma Gennessee, Amy Margolis, Emily Ellsworth, David Dukellis, Alex
La Rondelle, Jerinson Garcia
PATRONS - LavendarKozzy, grinleysspa, Emma, Lilly Carleton, CJ Taylor Caldwell, Nicole
Collard, Sarah, Brad Goupil, LaceAnn, Shep, Antigone, Andrew Roper, Ash, Shoshi and
LivinLuxuriouslySelena!
35

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WHO KILLED ALASKA? #15: "5½ STORIES Part Two" Transcript .pdf

  • 1. WHO KILLED ALASKA #15 - 5½ STORIES (Part Two) written by Cameron Cooper LeBrun
  • 2. EMMA’S HOME. EMMA I wanna tell you a story. It’s a little messy, but it’s earnest. Can you listen carefully? BUSY HIGHWAY. GLORY / BOO / BOBBY / LOGAN / EMMA / JO Who Killed Alaska. Five and a Half Stories. DENVER [narrator] Part Two. THEME SONG 2
  • 3. PARKING GARAGE. DENVER What’re you doing? BOO Taking off my mask. DENVER You don’t have to do that, you— BOO You look like you’ve seen a ghost. I know why, though… DENVER Nice face— BOO Yeah. I know. Contrary to what you expect, I wear the mask and the goggles because when people look at my face, there’s nothing wrong with it— I’ll just tell you how the story goes. I’ll tell you, uh, starting from the, the start. As a kid, hide and seek was the most fun thing to do cause I could just, I could spend time alone. I’ve always been treated different because people can’t stop looking at me, and they can’t look away. Five was a rough year. The adults always crowded me. They like my face. I missed being four. Then I went into school and one by one, my classmates happened to glance in my direction, and as soon as they did, they were stuck staring at me. So by the end of every class, the whole room was looking at me while talking about circles and squares. The teacher couldn’t even look around for raised hands while— or even write on the board or read from books. That’s 3
  • 4. why I say I had a massive disadvantage in school and so did anybody who was in class with me. They just didn’t even seem aware that they were staring at me, like they were spacing out. Maybe that’s why I took so long to learn how to read. And by the way I’m pretty good at Rubik’s cubes, so I probably have an Einstein-level brain that wasn’t brought to the Einstein level. I would assume I was the only person in the world who had this happening to them. I mean, and I don’t know how I managed to navigate this cause, y’know when I walked on the sidewalk, there were multiple occasions where a driver glanced betwixt my eyeballs and got stuck watching the— not the road, watching me, and then y’know, he or she or they crashed into a lamppost. So I had to figure out how the world worked at top speed. I became aware of every single element in my surroundings, and I had to, or else the chef would burn food on the stove. It’s been a while since I explained this. Um. I got called “little angel” a lot. People talked to me like they wanted their own. Same way you talk to a rare dog breed. It’s not like I was really listened to. It could be a privilege, sometimes. A girl in my class asked me out when we were six, but I wasn’t raised with enough personality to want any specific people as friends. When someone talked to me, I responded. I missed being five. And they never even realized they were staring at me— like you, right now, Detective. Don’t make excuses. This happens whenever my face is in view. Just remind yourself to blink. If you don’t try to blink actively, you just won’t. By the way, my mom runs that company that makes boat paint and my dad coaches Olympic sprinters. The success is usually inherited. This is important context, I’m not just saying this to be weird about, like— Fuck. So. 4
  • 5. I was born with hip dysplasia which was caught late, so doctors kept telling my parents to take me out of running until they eventually did. But we didn’t have arguments and I was popular at dinner parties, so they set me up for other opportunities. That was when I started chess. I liked chess right away because I could remind people to stop looking at me and it wasn’t weird. “Your move.” All I had to say was “your move” and the teacher would stop staring. Back then, I must’ve been, like, seven, like unhappy I wasn’t six. Having a personality didn’t benefit me at that age. Caring wasn’t what I did. And here’s the thing: I wasn’t really expected to win. I was set up with chess for the aesthetic. And yet, while nobody was looking… I learned. It was a game of deduction. My parents looked down the hallway and just saw me in the study, with my teacher, moving elegant mini statues over a table. My teacher just saw a dumb little angel in me, like a painting of a poised little person. But I was turning my brain into a calculator. I was crawling inside his mind. And the calculator was breaking it all down into formulae.They shouldn’t’ve let me had chess— I remember the first time I beat him. I said “your move” but he had no moves left. I opened my hand and showed him his queen. I was eight. And then they were fucked. They were all dead to me the moment that I learned for the first time. Games were the only things I liked in the pre-twink era. I mean not games as in with a screen or a board, I mean games with risks. Then my parents made a big show of pairing me up with harder and harder players, and my mom didn’t get that I could just “not be ready.” I made some dace- uh, I made, uh, I made some decent moves, but I was set up to be checked over and 5
  • 6. over and over and over against aspiring grandmasters with serious-person leather patches on their elbows. That’s when my second game started: I stole things. I calculated the opponent’s attention and their motivations. Then their rook was in my pocket. It was a game of deduction. Sleight of hand is just a mind game— mind game! That’s the word for it. Y’know it’s hard to resist something like that. And I was competitive, I, I was ready to burn them all. Then I frightened them, and I bested them, and I was their little devil instead. To be honest with you, I did and didn’t know that everyone was stuck staring at me. I learned to cope with it before I realized what was happening. But y’know nobody stared at the camera in tv shows and they would look all around. That was concerning. And puberty hit me hard, and I’m also just so hard to please, and— and my parents were catching onto my kleptomania? Like— Oh!— Oh, oh, I remember stealing a Good Charlotte sticker in middle school, and I, I had to silently watch while my family cut up and ate their steak dinner with green beans. Fuckin love green beans. Y’know, and then I ran to my room— I ran to my room, and I punched a hole in the wall because green beans are fucking good and y’know, and then I cried because punching a wall is fucking bad for you. It’s bad for the bones in your hand. Y’know? And then I broke my brother’s Xbox controller with a hammer because I was a legitimately bad person. I think I was missing being twelve, so like, I must’ve, I must’ve been like thirteen, or. Huh. Huh, that’s like a weird way to think about it, right? How am I doing that? What am I?— Okay, fine, fine, I’m moving on. Um. This is where it gets easier to remember. Let’s talk about, uh, about high school. We were put into a private school called… the Holy Cross. No, not, not “the,” just— You can think of Roslyn as being an all-brick kind of place. Holy Cross had a 6
  • 7. reddish brick facade, and then a massive cross in front— what? I’m painting you like, like a word picture. When I got to high school, the performance was over. When I was in my car, I blasted music as much as possible so y’all kept distance. If someone complained, I cranked it up so the bass vibrated their insides pretty much and they got, y’know, weird vibes and left. I met Glory pretty quickly in freshman year and then her friends were my friends. Bobby wasn’t representative of the friend group, but he was like, the friendly mascot boy. It was pretty common to hide knives in our uniforms, although we didn’t really use those. I dunno, high school was— I dunno! High school was when I figured out all the things that were going on, like that I was weird, and my life was weird, and I could articulate to my— I could articulate that to my friends! Starting in someone’s basement at 11pm, and then eventually it was the kind of thing you just confessed to the new regular at our lunch table. I was tired of it. So I stole shit. I got my ears pierced. I played around in detention. I came out as bi out of spite. I made out with— (snorts) Sorry, I kissed some girl’s boyfriend. Sorry, that-one-girl. I also did this thing where you would say to me, “You’re actually so handsome. Your parents gave you good genes,” and I’d say, “I hope your mom dies, Jenny.” Something like that. I don’t know. I didn’t reinvent the wheel of conversations. But yeah, man. The only time— the— look, I was only ever responding to expectations of me being weak and passive, instead of living independently of those expectations. And in my mind, like. This is funny. I register that as a game, too. And the win condition was being as annoying and hated as imaginably possible. Which I did great at. My parents got really bad, and then there was Alaska— Oh, Alaska. I haven’t told you a thing about him. 7
  • 8. Alaska kept a straight spine and Alaska felt important in every conversation. I mean like he couldn’t figure out like this mind games-y puzzle-thinking stuff but he’s— look, his charisma was more of a, like a raw thing, y’know? I’m talking like the Fonz hitting a jukebox and it suddenly working-type shit, it’s like. He walked into the room and the air just, it changed, it changed, it was different, it was the opposite of a ghost, which is funny considering he, um— I dunno, what, he just needed five seconds of saying how his day was going and you were— you were locked in. It was like he had a script or something! You were waiting for each next word and then he was just telling you that the backyard pool was cold, that’s all he was saying. And you were into it! It was so precise. The man didn’t stutter a day in his life. Absolutely no self- doubt. So naturally, this dude was a stupid, narcissistic butthole. But when you were like Alaska, you kinda had to be. You’re not able to be the way he was, to be as sure and reassured of yourself as he was by caring about anybody but yourself. You can’t— be right as much as he was right while taking someone else’s feelings into consideration, you just can’t do it. And Alaska was the type of guy who was comfortable with that weight, being okay with knowing that his greatest strength was probably his greatest flaw, but like, it didn’t feel like that, it never felt like that. And he was always listened to, cause he was like a man’s man, like. He was like way more masculine than me, and he was actually listened to, because people are shitty like that. And y’know my dad just encouraged us to chase each other around and he went from being faster to four times as fast, and it was even like he was training especially hard, it’s just, things came easy to him. Like, I think there’s something wrong with my body, like anemia, or. (sniffs) I mean I, I guess I was— The anorexia came later, I. 8
  • 9. I wa- I was busy with my rebellion against nothing, like an aesthetic without ideology or politics, which, don’t have to worry about anymore, comrade. Look, I started dating my friend Tyler to be controversial. That’s why I got the poopy beaten out of me. And. And yeah, that’s pretty much everything you don’t know. No, I mean, I can talk more about that. I don’t care. Um. It was a Catholic school. So even if most people at the school were Jewish, there was a handful of Catholic kids with shiny cross necklaces, and a lot of those were the outspoken white supremacists who were too mean to be popular. Almost all of them were firefighters or friends with firefighters or family of firefighters. It’s weird because my group was so adjacent to the firefighters where we knew all of them, like Glory slept with a firefighter who couldn’t find the vaginal opening. It was a bad word in our school, like “firefighter” was a bad word— and if you hid a switch-blade in your jacket, or you were in detention more than once a month, you probably had beef with a firefighter. Me and Tyler could gently graze our pinky fingers next to each other and the firefighters would scream and cry and piss their fucking pants. Which sucked for them because they were stuck looking at me. Same as everybody else. I almost got suspended for all the fights that I was having with the firefighters, like. Well actually there were— there were two exceptions. The first was that, like after I came out, Alaska was way rough on me compared to any firefighter. The second was Logan. Haven’t you heard a certain program? Mine? Yours? Logan and me were hating each other under the table from the early episodes, y’know? It was lowkey. Logan was a bully. He— He leaf’t, okay, wait, he made like a tree and leaf’t me bleeding in the dirt. And it was, it was raining, and everything, it was, I mean, it was, it was dramatic. Even now, Logan isn’t in the top two of my closest friends. When we trade really dumb drawings 9
  • 10. of each other, like— we pass notes back and forth that’re just drawings of clowns that’re labeled “you” with a big arrow… I mean, it’s like, tense and shit, you know? There’s a lot going on under the water’s surface, like. It’s like water that hide things— hides things. Right? You said what? I mean, I was literally about to talk about Alaska anyway, like. I was already gonna. For one of Alaska’s senior pranks, one of them, he was gonna get a cow into the school’s 2nd floor. Because y’know like, cows can go up stairs, but they can’t go down stairs. Cows are just like, they weigh a metric ton and their front legs are too spindly to hold their fat bodies when they lean forward, so going down stairs makes them think they’re gonna die and annoying kids fantasize that they’ll put a cow in the 2nd story of a building thereby making everybody stuck with a cow that they don’t know what to do with. I refused to get involved with his jest because at the time I hated fun. Presumably why I hated myself, too, but y’know, I (mispronouncing) digress. His cow- procuring plan really fell through into the water, so I managed to pity him. Up until he got on cable news for throwing a Halloween party in April where he used real missing people’s posters for decorations. He left the posters stapled to trees in the woods and when hikers found them, they just assumed it was some kind of cult-like ritual or a trail of hints from an apathetic serial murderer. Then I went back to pretending my brother didn’t deserve human rights and wasn’t related to me, which boy, did that help everybody involved. Fucking stupid-ass— Uh, yeah! And then he graduated. And he got kicked out of the house. Because… he was just a high school track star and he wasn’t an Olympic star. He didn’t actually have a plan and then he went on to live on other people’s couches. Which I was, I was okay with that. Then Alaska died. 10
  • 11. School came back a couple weeks after that. It turned out some uh, some of uh, Alaska’s buddies actually managed to get a cow onto the 2nd floor for their own prank, and it was living off hay for a few months, actually. We were all outside on the sidewalk. And they had this crane that was using, that they were using to procure the cow from the 2nd floor window. And the cow was just hanging from ropes. It looked upset and I was looking for a strategic position to make sure it wouldn’t throw up on me. But, y’know, while this cow was hanging from a crane, nobody was watching. Nobody was watching the cow. They were watching me. And they told me I looked sad. I skipped some school. I needed to get away from people. And then it was 2020, and I mean you know how that went. I didn’t have to skip classes and I’ve worn a mask ever since. The goggles came later. That year, I realized Alaska was right about our parents. I’m skipping a step here, but y’know, that’s another story for another time. Then I tried to move to Staten Island, didn’t have the funds, and failed like my parents always said I would. I spent two years not killing myself because I have a dog and I want to feed them every day for the rest of their life. I went blond. Then I spent a year working on solving my brother’s murder. And now I’m here. Wee. 11
  • 12. AD BREAK HOST Oh hi. Who’s this speaking to you? It’s me, Cameron LeBrun, the person who kinda made this show along with a bunch of other people. This is less of an ad and more of me telling you about stuff that we have coming out. Main really big announcement: we have a bonus episode that’s going to be coming out next week. How do you listen to it? Behind a paywall. But wait! Episode 15.5, there is a free way to listen to it and there is a paid way to listen to it. The free way is that we will have a listening party in a week from now, on Thursday. There’s a Discord server. We’re not using it to get your information, there’s no way for you to pay us through the Discord server. This is all very innocent! If you wanna have fun with us, if you wanna hang out, maybe you’ll even meet some of the cast. We’ll have a listening party on the fan community episode. Come to that. It’ll be a great time. It’ll be the best. Okay, what’s the paid way to listen to the episode? Cause you only get to listen to it once on the fan community Discord, right? If you wanna help support the show, you can come become a Patron on Patreon. You’ll get in the credits, Boo and Denver will say your name, we’ll be posting lots of cool stuff soon, but most importantly, there’s episode 15.5, it’s coming out soon. The bonus episode is called “The Glory Days” and it is a flashback episode which includes the younger version of almost every character. Also we have an album coming out soon and it’s gonna include the song that Jo sings, but don’t worry about that yet. Just remember, bonus episode— also, like, if you like that song, there will be an album— but focus on the bonus episode. There’s a bonus episode. You’ll love it. Or not. I hope you’ll love it. Alright. 12
  • 13. No but for real. Thank you to LavendarKozzy, thank you to grinleysspa, thank you to Emma, thank you to Lilly Carleton, thank you to CJ Taylor Caldwell, thank you to Nicole Collard, thank you to Sarah, thank you to Brad Goupil, thank you to LaceAnn, thank you to Shep, thank you to Antigone, thank you to Andrew Roper— did I say your name twice? No I didn’t. Thank you to Ash, thank you to Shoshi, thank you to Shoshi and Ash. I think they’re friends! They joined at the same time. Thank you to LivinLuxuriouslySelena! I love your name. I hope you’re out there, livin luxuriously. Have a great day! It really means a lot that you’re helping us through Patreon. I was really sad because we lost some people through Patreon during the hiatus. Have a great day, everybody. Also if you’re not on the Patreon, have a good day to you. Have a good day to you also. If you’re never gonna get on the Patreon, have a great day. Okay. See you guys. Been good seein ya. Bye. 13
  • 14. JO’S HOUSE. JO Jo Magaro. Okay, so when I was in high school, I did this really dumb thing. I pretended I was getting seizures. Sometimes it was fainting, sometimes it was seizures. And everybody would come help. They threw the chairs out of the way and they ran to me, and at the end, when I saw them, they felt SO bad for me— except for one person. Someone you know. By the way, I’m an empath. Did you know that? Cause I can like see people’s feelings. In essence, colors mix up like clouds on a man or a woman’s torso, any gender assignment or orientation, or like gay or bi— Boo’s bi. Did you know that? Anyways, like any torso. For example, when I opened my eyes and oh, everybody was worried about me, that emotion was swirling— like blue laundry— in a washing machine. Like, swirling, swirling. And a prick of yellow in the middle of the collar bones, just a prick, y’know, cause pity is very sharp. Everybody pitied me except for Emma. Yeah, your Emma, my Emma, Emma Wooten. She looked at me and she barely felt anything at all. And from that moment, I knew: I was gonna kick her ass. But then I didn’t, I took the highroad. Anyway, she didn’t care at all that I was sick. Whatever, let’s move on. Okay, for background! I always wanted to be a singer. Honey, when I heard Ke$ha? I knew. I knew! And then in jail, I made friends with this music producer who’s like pretty viral. She’s actually very big on Long Island. She got me in the studio and we made a demo. It was no big deal or anything. 14
  • 15. THE SONG PLAYS. JO The spotlight on me / The glint in— JO’S HOUSE. JO So I brought that song to the school talent show. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM. JO The— JO’S HOUSE. JO And I looked in the audience, people didn’t understand the song, I can tell you that. Y’know, empath— people are stupid. And guess who was there? Emma. Emma was staring at me and she felt nothing. That fucked me up. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM. JO The spotlight on me 15
  • 16. JO’S HOUSE. JO That was PTSD. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM. JO The glint in your eye JO’S HOUSE. JO I had to take it up a notch. I had to show all of my haters that I was worth giving a shit about. And I said to my producer, I like this. Now make me a pop star. My dad was pissed about me doing this, because he didn’t want me to “get distracted” instead of becoming grown and mature, plus he didn’t want my name in any headlines. But like I had to keep going. Ugh, I feel so good telling this story! Thank you for listening to me and my parlare. Okay, so listen to this, this is where the story really starts. My producer said, ok, we’ll post the song somewhere, and I said, wait, I’m gonna get even better. And I kept singing in front of my friends, every day, every day, every day, I’d sing and see how their emotions shifted a little bit when I changed my singing style. Sometimes I started to practice singing, in my room, with the door closed. I did my vocal exercises, and then I did my song. And then— are you superstitious? Okay? Cause. Alright. Listen to this— 16
  • 17. Sometimes, when I sang, I heard two voices. There was my voice. And then, there was another voice. I mean this— I tried singing in a janitor’s closet. I thought maybe it was an echo, like here’s the wall and here’s my voice and the voice, is like bouncing back maybe? Or y’know, or maybe somebody was pranking me, like someone was playing a recording! But even in that janitor’s closet, it always happened. And it happened every single time when I was alone. And I tried showing my friends like Dylan and Dan, I think, like, you know them, and they said I was crazy, but they were definitely messing with me. I think. But it’s like, I could hear this second voice whenever I was alone, right? And every time I heard it… it was kinda like… it was getting closer. And I didn’t like that. I didn’t like it, no, I didn’t, I did not like that. And I’m very passive as a person. Like I have trouble making decisions without people telling me what to do. But change is something you decide to do. So I stopped singing, a little bit at a time. And things were normal for a while. But then the producer texted me. And she said she booked me a performance. I mean it was like, this is an opener— nothing big, but I’d never heard a whole crowd of people cheering for me, and I wanted to help her. So, y’know, so I couldn’t say no. Because, and you know, it was right by the school! And can you imagine, like what if Emma heard me? My number one hater was gonna hear me and I was gonna blow her mind! And then, y’know, I was on my way to being the singer I always wanted to be. 17
  • 18. And everything came into place. Every rehearsal was better. My abusive boyf— ex- boyfriend came to me like, “Who are you?” I was transforming. I practiced. In fact, I practiced so hard my voice got deeper. That happens apparently. It’s fucking wild. And I had this vision that was, I mean it was coming out of me. So I went to Glory and I said, “I really, I like the songs you write about people in hospitals, let’s write this song together.” And then I went to my producer and I said, “These are the new lyrics to the song,” and I handed her the sheet. And she was reading through this scene in the lyrics about the nurse becoming desperate for power. And the “I saw the cell death” part was creeping her out, y’know I could tell just from looking at her, and this was all getting to her, and I said no, don’t you shrivel up. This is going to be a performance that nobody will ever forget, and you either are going to let me do this or I live. And she went with it. Then I hired backup dancers. I got a crew, too, I got a crew. And the other voice came back sometimes, but like I figured out how to ignore it. And then I wanted a wall of lights to sort of halo us, so I had a few of my buddies help out in putting together a wall of lights the way we wanted it to look. And my producer like tried to shut me down but I told her I’d leave and she just kept going with it. Isn’t that funny? Oh my god! Anyways, then in between hate-fucking this producer’s boyfriend, I had this moment of like, total post-orgasm clarity and I thought, suddenly: we need props. And that was when it became a story— and it was getting so much bigger than any of us. And oh my— I also, I had a whole look that I figured out. I mean it was gorgeous. I did my nails over and over until they were perfect; okay, so they were three inches long, they were like nude-colored with this sequin pattern. And the gown— oh my gosh! Okay, so what we did was I had these awful sort of like medical scrubs but then they would tear away into this STUNNING gown. And then—But I also wanted to make sure that the second voice 18
  • 19. wasn’t a problem, right, so I’m planning ahead, I’m looking ahead, so I got it on video. But everybody kept telling me I was crazy and I needed to stop talking about Emma and the voices, so I just kept ignoring the voice. I wanted everything to be perfect. Y’know, perfect! And if I was pissing myself because I was too busy for the bathroom, that’s nobody’s business. No one could stop me. I, yeah, I coughed up so much blood back then! And then… well, it was, so it was a Sunday. And we were singing, I think it was Here I Am, Lord, and the organist was pounding hard onto those keys y’know until it rang out into awful tea-kettle sounds. And down in between two pews, a face was watching me. And I could see, and it was someone in the pews over there. And it was me. And I couldn’t figure out how I was looking at me if I was me. Y’know? And she was singing. If I— Well if I was me, how could I— how could I from this body— right? Be— Anyways, it was so stupid I just ignored it. It’s fucking stupid, that that would happen. It doesn’t make sense, and— And nobody believed me. And when my, sorry, when her lips scrunched up for the lyrics, the cheeks flapped around like fish meat. And I called the producer and I said we have, we gotta cancel. But she was pissed. Y’know, like, “Oh, I did a million things to keep you on this project, and it’s too late for you now,” and when I tried harder persuasion, she hung up on me. So I, y’know, I dunno. I took time off practicing. But still, next Sunday. I saw her— me— her. Squatting in the pews and singing. And she was within 33 feet, of course, so that time, everything changed. Yeah, cause when I looked at her torso, I could see what she was feeling. I’m an empath. Sorry, I told you that? Yeah. And, so I can, right, like I know people’s emotions. And I saw that inside that soul of hers, she was blood red. She was out for poison. All 19
  • 20. that red, it was, it was jelling together all over her shoulders, and sh— and so that told me she was swelling with greed. So I had to know: y’know, what did I want from me? She. Sorry, I said she, right? What did she want from me? What did she want— What did she want from me? You know what I think? I smell blood in the water. We’re talking about a crowd of people… cheering for her and herself. Becoming a symbol of rapture. She wanted the kind of fame that pulls angels down from heaven just to type out on the internet, “I love you, I love you, please never die. Live forever, die never, sign my brain in permanent fucking marker.” I was about to change the world. And this time, the world would see it with its own eyes and everyone was gonna be happy when I walked in the room. I was about to be famous. And she? Was jealous. So. Okay, let me tell you about what happened next. So then it was the real sound check. They had to, they had to do it at a separate location from the show, and it was in a bar, like a big, dark bar— and the crew was not happy about my wall of lights and the props and the extra, y’know, prep time the hairspray needed to set, but, whatever. They came around to the adjustments and I was patient with them. And I went up… onto the stage, and all the little people in the audience looked up from their chairs at the back of the room and they looked at me and they had stars in their eyes and they had pink in their souls. And she wasn’t singing with me, this time. Right? She wasn’t, she didn’t want to out herself, I guess. But she was standing in the corner. And that was a threat. And I wasn’t gonna let her crush my dream. So then it’s the day of the performance. And it was by the lake. In the village. Right by the clock tower. Me and the backup dancers had stations to get ready, and we put on our war 20
  • 21. paint— y’know, that’s what my grandma calls it. Isn’t that cute? Yeah. I know, I love it. Uh, and, anyways, so we had a key to the lock our green room, for our own safety. And I waited for the backup dancers to finish getting ready. They tried talking to me, I was like “don’t talk to me right now.” They were just being bitches. Anyway, so then they left. And so I was alone in the green room, right? And so I, I, and I inhaled into my diaphragm. And I started singing. And y’know what? I realized she was in the corner. I just, like, realized it, and she was singing with me. She started dragging her feet towards me. Slowly. Slowly. And so then I ran for the door, I ran for it, and I locked her inside. And I was singing with her, and I heard her singing behind that door, and then I had to get to the stage. I didn’t need a mirror. I didn’t need anything. I put it all on while I strutted, y’know, like this, I stepped into the boots like it was nothing, the gloves rolled up my arms, I let my hair down, I walked into it, while she was y’know, still like banging on that door. I’m hearing her, banging on that door. There’s not enough love to go around. Right? That’s what I was thinking to myself. So it was all mine. And I heard my music starting. But it, but it was too, I mean it came in too early. It wasn’t, it wasn’t time yet. Y’know, I wasn’t on my mark yet, the timing was wrong. I was still backstage. And so, I started, I was like, shit, I started to run for it, and my heel broke, so I was running with a broken heel, and then I heard the singing started. Right the, I mean the singing started! But I wasn’t singing. So I turned the corner and I got to the wing of the stage, and I saw her on the stage that was mine. 21
  • 22. OUTDOOR CONCERT. THE OTHER JO God help me, me oh my / I watch the people die JO [present day] I had to stop her. I had to do something. THE OTHER JO But who can pull the plug JO [present day] So I stepped up onto the stage. THE OTHER JO Oh, hello, PAST JO / THE OTHER JO Good— Surprised cheers. THE OTHER JO Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the OTHER Jo Magaro! Hellooo. PAST JO / THE OTHER JO Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah 22
  • 23. JO [present day] The backup dancers were staring at me, a couple of them side-stepped into each other. And then I looked out into the crowd… I looked. And they were enamored. They were trying to figure out how I did this, because, because they really thought it was my plan! And I wasn’t crazy, they could see her! And they loved ME! I coughed up some blood on that stage— Jo of the past coughs. JO [present day] And she kept dancing and smiling. She didn’t have to practice or work like I did. PAST JO / THE OTHER JO One, two, one two, one pull to end you JO [present day] I didn’t know what to do, so I just… fucking attacked her! Past Jo is trying to hit The Other Jo. The crowd cheers in amazement. PAST JO / THE OTHER JO Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah / Woah 23
  • 24. JO [present day] She was literally ducking and weaving, and the audience was— they were into it! They really thought it was all an act! But she was really like me, because… you know what? She knew how to pull a punch. That thing, that creature started gesturing for me to come closer. And I did! My legs cramped up and they started moving under me. And my arms were moving around me— and it was all in time with her. She was controlling me. THE OTHER JO (unison) In your corpse / I saw the cell death / Spread inside the cornea / Uh oh, I don’t sleep / I’m rising higher PAST JO (unison) What’re you doing to me? What, what is this!? URGH! JO [present day] And she brought my hands… around her throat. And she forced me to choke her. THE OTHER JO I’m rising higher / All to— Past Jo snaps The Other Jo’s neck. The Other Jo chokes in Past Jo’s grip. THE OTHER JO (choking) I change my mind. No, no, do it. No, no, I change— 24
  • 25. JO [present day] She went quiet. The Other Jo’s body drops to the ground. JO [present day] Then so was the audience. And I looked to the audience. And I delved in. And I took Emma by the throat. And I started to choke her. The crowd screams in terror. Jo grabs Emma’s throat and squeezes. PAST JO And we will survive / Your soul and I / Your soul and I JO [present day] There was no fear in her while I was choking her to death. I’m an empath— you know that. You know, right? I bet you can tell. Like, I’m an empath and I couldn’t see any bit of fear inside of her while I was on the verge of taking her out forever. And that was when it finally clicked in me. This whole time, it wasn’t that Emma was unimpressed. It was that I couldn’t read her. And I still can’t. Emma Wooten is empty on the inside. I didn’t see any feeling from her because she doesn’t feel. And me? I was worth it. The whole time! Oh, the joy I felt! The absolute, beautiful, overwhelming joy. The answer was inside of me all along. I was pink again. 25
  • 26. PAST JO Or you can die. IT’S ALL JUST PART OF THE SONG! THE VIOLENCE IS JUST PART OF THE PERFORMANCE! ISN’T THIS THE BEST SHOW YOU’VE EVER SEEN? NOBODY WILL EVER LOOK AWAY! AREN’T YOU GOING OUT OF YOUR MIND? AREN’T WE ALL OUT OF OUR FUCKING MINDS? The chorus hits. PAST JO SING IT FOR ME! I SAID SING! SING! SECURITY— THEY’RE ASSAULTING ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME— GET OFF ME, YOU’RE MY SECURITY! YOU’RE RUINING MY SONG! When you say your prayers / You remember me / It’s the end of you / That’s the end of me / At the end of you / That’s the end of me / At the end of you / Who remembers Running. Screaming. PAST JO Who remembers? / Who remembers? SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE Oh, god! What is happening? Get up! Get up! Run! Run! Get up! Get up! Come on! Please! 26
  • 27. PAST JO Who remembers? / Who remembers? / Who remembers? We hear Jo being handcuffed. PAST JO Who remembers? / Who remembers? / Who remembers? JO’S HOUSE. JO Yeah. And then I was arrested and I spent the next couple months in a padded room. (chuckles) No! No, I’m just kidding. It was just a regular mental hospital. And that girl’s body was never found. Nobody will ever believe me. (laughs) 27
  • 28. GLORY’S HOUSE. GLORY Draw… Workshop… Arena… GLORY’S MOTHER (unison) Has Glory gotten anything to eat? Okay, okay! GLORY (unison) Pollution… I… your… pollution… and… LATER. GLORY Mystery… Gradient… Master… and. And. And. Ground ground ground. Ground ground ground. In the ground. In, not outside. Homework. Hallway. Met Boo with a handshake. “Hey there, prettyboy. Do you come here often?” Flower. Cafeteria. I told him my name is my name is. Handshake. Our fingerless gloves got tangled too. I devoured. Formula. Fist. Flip the. The sands of the. Time. Ground ground ground. In the ground. From the start. With his hand. He was mine. But I never had to be anything but. Like a chameleon. Like eat words and you never know what look like. I’ll take all of you over. Look up and see me. Please. Please look up. Wheat. Remark. Remain. Ground ground ground. In the ground. MOM! I don’t need a fucking job! I’ll get in! I just need one more year and— Hello? Hello? I just wanted to confirm that I wasn’t accepted? Snakes? Portuguese? What’s a phone? My name’s Glory-ground. Grooound. I lift boxes at Amazon. Hey prettyboy. I like your voice. Let me hear more of it. Give me everything. More 28
  • 29. words. More. I’ll eat them and steal them and turn them into Glory. Turn them into Glory. Turn them into Glory. And then. And then. And then. FORGET! 29
  • 30. PARKING GARAGE. DENVER You really like chess. BOO Yeah. DENVER What do you like about it? BOO I know what you’re getting at. DENVER Hm? BOO Oh. Okay. Psyche. Forget that… DENVER Do you— I think I’m gonna head inside and grab Starbucks before I go. It’s been good talking to you, Boo. BOO Starbucks— I’m good. Don’t buy me shit, okay? DENVER You really read my mind there. 30
  • 31. BOO I just— I don’t like what Starbucks corporate is doing these days. That’s just my choice for my own comfort. People think I’m gonna freak out and it’s just like. You really think I give a crap, huh? It’s like. It’s like, goober behavior. DENVER I love that you knew it, you knew exactly what I was gonna do. BOO Ha… You’re obvious, so it’s just response time, and… What were you gonna say before? DENVER What’s that? BOO Before you said “do you” and then proceeded to not finish your sentence. Honestly don’t really give a fuck, so— DENVER Do you see chess everywhere? BOO Huh. That’s a, that’s a weird question. Have you heard of the philosophy called “If all you have is a hammer?” DENVER You’re smiling. BOO No… 31
  • 32. DENVER You really do like chess. Maybe you’ve been having fun this whole time. BOO Okay, solving Alaska’s death isn’t a game to me. DENVER I didn’t say anything about Alaska. BOO Okay psyche. I just mentioned that because it’s been fun because of who I’ve been around. Jo and everybody else, and… DENVER Really? It’s been fun for you? Boo clears his throat. DENVER You do trust them? BOO Are you calling me fake? DENVER You don’t like that. You don’t like being called fake. That’s okay. BOO Read my mind. We are not… 32
  • 33. DENVER Friends. So you don’t have to tell me who is and who isn’t your friend. I’ll learn how to play the game, okay? Boo laughs. DENVER But… BOO But? DENVER If you did do it, Boo… if you killed Alaska? We’re fucked. I don’t think I’ll be able to outplay you. I don’t think anybody can. BOO I’m sure you’ll figure something out. DENVER No, no. If it was you, if it was really you, you’ve been overlooked by everyone you’ve met from day one to here. When you took your mask off, I could see your eyes, Boo. They don’t see how you’re analyzing everything. There are killers that we never hear about, Boo. Never. Because they’ve never been found. I hope, I really hope that you’re not one of them, Boo. 33
  • 34. BOO Well, Denver. Guess you have to pray it’s not me. Come on, man, let’s just, let’s shake on it. Doesn’t matter who did it— do you think you can beat me? May the best man win. 34
  • 35. CREDITS THE GHOST FACTORY WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun SCRIPT EDITOR - Katrina Clairvoyant ASSISTANT PRODUCER - Lorena De Leon MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun ONE-TWO MIXED BY - IzzyMix SOUND DESIGN - Andres Buitrago, Austin Blackwell MIX & MASTER - Manas Kunder, Chris Zagortchev ART - Bella Wynne, Lock Reinhardt, and doritofalls BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Parker LOGAN GOLDBERG - Trent Trachtenberg EMMA WOOTEN - Liz Mina BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo GLORY JOHNSON - Lindsay Zana JO MAGARO / THE OTHER JO / GLORY’S MOM - Sally Roberts CROWD VOICES - Emma Gennessee, Amy Margolis, Emily Ellsworth, David Dukellis, Alex La Rondelle, Jerinson Garcia PATRONS - LavendarKozzy, grinleysspa, Emma, Lilly Carleton, CJ Taylor Caldwell, Nicole Collard, Sarah, Brad Goupil, LaceAnn, Shep, Antigone, Andrew Roper, Ash, Shoshi and LivinLuxuriouslySelena! 35