What Parents Can Do Now 
SURVIVING THE COLLEGE APPLICATION 
PROCESS
Your Role 
CONSULTANT 
GUIDE 
COUNSELOR 
SUPPORTER 
ENCOURAGER 
NOT THE DO-ER
What can you do for the 
remainder of junior year? 
• ENCOURAGE TIME MANAGEMENT AND 
ORGANIZATION 
• HELP GET READY FOR THE SAT/ACT 
• START THINKING ABOUT SAT I I TESTS 
• BEGIN LOOKING AT COLLEGES / COLLEGE 
VISITS 
• ENCOURAGE STUDENTS TO ATTEND 
COLLEGE FAIRS/TALKS 
• MAKE SUMMER PLANS ( INTERNSHIPS, 
JOBS, ENRICHING EXPERIENCES, COLLEGE 
VISITS)
Be Involved with ISM 
Programming 
PARENT SURVEY IN NAVIANCE ( JAN. 5 ) 
ATTEND MOCK ADMISSIONS SESSIONS (FEB. 
201 5 ) 
ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO ATTEND 
WORKSHOPS: 
ESSAY WRITING 
COMMON APPLICATION 
MOCK ADMISSIONS 
USE NAVIANCE! !
Be Involved with ISM 
Programming 
USE GOOGLE CALENDARS: 
HS COUNSELING PROGRAMMING 
COLLEGE VISITS 
SUBSCRIBE ON THE HS COUNSELING BLOG: 
HTTP: / /GUIDANCE. ISM-ONLINE.ORG/
Be Involved with ISM 
Programming 
USE THE COLLEGE COUNSELING SITE: 
HTTPS: / /SITES.GOOGLE.COM/A/ ISMA 
NILA.ORG/ ISM-COLLEGE-COUNSELING
Ways to Support 
HELP THEM ORGANIZE THE INFORMATION 
INITIATE OPEN, HONEST CONVERSATIONS 
TEACH FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE 
VISIT COLLEGES 
STAY INFORMED – BE PART OF THE PROCESS
Ask questions that show you are 
interested in what they think 
OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS THAT ALLOW 
SHARING OF THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS 
NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWERS 
FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE THINKING AND 
FEELING AND WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO THEM
Listening and Open Questions 
LISTENING 
• ACTIVE AND REFLECTIVE 
• JUDGMENT-FREE 
• WAIT- TIME 
• N O N E E D T O “ F I X ” P R O B L E M 
OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS 
• I N S T E A D O F “ W H A T ” A N D “ W H E N , ” T R Y 
“ T E L L M E A B O U T … ” A N D M O R E O P E N 
PROMPTS WITH EMPATHETIC STATEMENTS
Open, Honest Conversations 
WHAT ARE YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES ? 
FINANCIAL CONSTRAINTS 
CRITERIA FOR SCHOOL 
BE REALISTIC 
B U T … . D O N ’ T A L W A Y S T A L K A B O U T 
COLLEGE! !
Open, Honest Conversations 
“ I WI SH I HA D T A L KED T O MY 
SON MORE ABOUT OTHER 
THINGS THIS PAST YEAR. NOW 
HE I S L E A V IN G A N D I D ON ’ T 
KNOW THE YOUNG MAN HE HAD 
B E C OME . ” 
-- A PARENT
Help them organize 
CALENDAR FOR ALL DEADLINES IN SENIOR 
YEAR 
LIST OF COLLEGE CRITERIA 
CHART FOR UNIVERSITIES CONSIDERING
List of College Criteria 
MAJOR/PROGRAM 
ADMISSION REQUIREMENTS 
LOCATION 
SIZE OF CITY 
SIZE/TYPE OF CAMPUS 
WEATHER/CLIMATE 
RATIO OF INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS 
FAMILY/FRIENDS NEARBY 
AIRPORTS/ACCESSIBILITY
Universit 
y 
How 
Apply 
Appl 
Type Deadline Testing 
Program/ 
Major GPA/IB 
Teacher 
Recs 
Transc 
Req Essays? FA Docs? 
New York 
Univ 
Common 
App ED 1 Nov. 1 optional history 3.94/35 1-2, any 
Reg Jan. 1 
Barnard 
Common 
App ED 1 Nov. 1 required 
Urban 
studies 4.08/37 2-core 
Reg Jan. 1 
SAT avg- 
2060 
UCLA UC App Reg 
Oct.1- 
Nov. 30 required 
Military 
science 
4.16/38- 
40 None 
UBC school website Mar. 15 predicted IbInstl econ 3.5/32+ will read
Teach Financial Independence 
and Life Skills 
BUDGETING 
CREDIT 
LAUNDRY 
BASIC COOKING 
SEW A BUTTON 
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW 
BEFORE THEY GO?
Prepare Yourself 
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF 
STAY INFORMED AND INVOLVED 
P L A N F O R Y O U R C H I L D ’ S D E P A R T U R E 
CHANGING DYNAMICS IN SENIOR YEAR 
SHIFT IN YOUR ROLE AS PARENT
A Few Things to Avoid 
D O N ’ T D O T H E W O R K F O R Y O U R C H I L D 
D O N ’ T C H A N G E Y O U R M I N D A T T H E L A S T 
MINUTE 
D O N ’ T N A G 
D O N ’ T L E T YOUR WORLD REVOLVE AROUND 
UNIVERSITY 
D O N ’ T C O M P E T E W I T H Y O U R F R I E N D S , 
PEERS, CO-WORKERS
Something To Think About: 
U N I V E R S I T Y A D M I S S I O N I S N ’ T A J U D G M E N T O N 
MY LI FE 
U N I V E R S I T Y A D M I S S I O N I S N ’ T A J U D G M E N T O N 
MY PARENT S OR MY UPBRINGING 
T H E R E ’ S G O I N G T O B E S O M E S O R T O F 
REJECTION IN ALL OF THI S 
SUCCES SFUL UNIVERS ITY ADMI S S ION I S 
A B O U T E N D I N G U P W I T H A C H O I C E … . A N D 
BEING HAPPY A YEAR FROM NOW 
I HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION AND GUIDANCE 
T H A T ’ S A V A I L A B L E ; I W I L L T A K E C H A R G E , 
BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND TRUST THE PROCES S

What Parents Can do now nov 2014

  • 1.
    What Parents CanDo Now SURVIVING THE COLLEGE APPLICATION PROCESS
  • 2.
    Your Role CONSULTANT GUIDE COUNSELOR SUPPORTER ENCOURAGER NOT THE DO-ER
  • 3.
    What can youdo for the remainder of junior year? • ENCOURAGE TIME MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION • HELP GET READY FOR THE SAT/ACT • START THINKING ABOUT SAT I I TESTS • BEGIN LOOKING AT COLLEGES / COLLEGE VISITS • ENCOURAGE STUDENTS TO ATTEND COLLEGE FAIRS/TALKS • MAKE SUMMER PLANS ( INTERNSHIPS, JOBS, ENRICHING EXPERIENCES, COLLEGE VISITS)
  • 4.
    Be Involved withISM Programming PARENT SURVEY IN NAVIANCE ( JAN. 5 ) ATTEND MOCK ADMISSIONS SESSIONS (FEB. 201 5 ) ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO ATTEND WORKSHOPS: ESSAY WRITING COMMON APPLICATION MOCK ADMISSIONS USE NAVIANCE! !
  • 5.
    Be Involved withISM Programming USE GOOGLE CALENDARS: HS COUNSELING PROGRAMMING COLLEGE VISITS SUBSCRIBE ON THE HS COUNSELING BLOG: HTTP: / /GUIDANCE. ISM-ONLINE.ORG/
  • 6.
    Be Involved withISM Programming USE THE COLLEGE COUNSELING SITE: HTTPS: / /SITES.GOOGLE.COM/A/ ISMA NILA.ORG/ ISM-COLLEGE-COUNSELING
  • 7.
    Ways to Support HELP THEM ORGANIZE THE INFORMATION INITIATE OPEN, HONEST CONVERSATIONS TEACH FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE VISIT COLLEGES STAY INFORMED – BE PART OF THE PROCESS
  • 8.
    Ask questions thatshow you are interested in what they think OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS THAT ALLOW SHARING OF THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWERS FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE THINKING AND FEELING AND WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO THEM
  • 9.
    Listening and OpenQuestions LISTENING • ACTIVE AND REFLECTIVE • JUDGMENT-FREE • WAIT- TIME • N O N E E D T O “ F I X ” P R O B L E M OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS • I N S T E A D O F “ W H A T ” A N D “ W H E N , ” T R Y “ T E L L M E A B O U T … ” A N D M O R E O P E N PROMPTS WITH EMPATHETIC STATEMENTS
  • 10.
    Open, Honest Conversations WHAT ARE YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES ? FINANCIAL CONSTRAINTS CRITERIA FOR SCHOOL BE REALISTIC B U T … . D O N ’ T A L W A Y S T A L K A B O U T COLLEGE! !
  • 11.
    Open, Honest Conversations “ I WI SH I HA D T A L KED T O MY SON MORE ABOUT OTHER THINGS THIS PAST YEAR. NOW HE I S L E A V IN G A N D I D ON ’ T KNOW THE YOUNG MAN HE HAD B E C OME . ” -- A PARENT
  • 12.
    Help them organize CALENDAR FOR ALL DEADLINES IN SENIOR YEAR LIST OF COLLEGE CRITERIA CHART FOR UNIVERSITIES CONSIDERING
  • 13.
    List of CollegeCriteria MAJOR/PROGRAM ADMISSION REQUIREMENTS LOCATION SIZE OF CITY SIZE/TYPE OF CAMPUS WEATHER/CLIMATE RATIO OF INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS FAMILY/FRIENDS NEARBY AIRPORTS/ACCESSIBILITY
  • 14.
    Universit y How Apply Appl Type Deadline Testing Program/ Major GPA/IB Teacher Recs Transc Req Essays? FA Docs? New York Univ Common App ED 1 Nov. 1 optional history 3.94/35 1-2, any Reg Jan. 1 Barnard Common App ED 1 Nov. 1 required Urban studies 4.08/37 2-core Reg Jan. 1 SAT avg- 2060 UCLA UC App Reg Oct.1- Nov. 30 required Military science 4.16/38- 40 None UBC school website Mar. 15 predicted IbInstl econ 3.5/32+ will read
  • 15.
    Teach Financial Independence and Life Skills BUDGETING CREDIT LAUNDRY BASIC COOKING SEW A BUTTON WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW BEFORE THEY GO?
  • 16.
    Prepare Yourself BEHONEST WITH YOURSELF STAY INFORMED AND INVOLVED P L A N F O R Y O U R C H I L D ’ S D E P A R T U R E CHANGING DYNAMICS IN SENIOR YEAR SHIFT IN YOUR ROLE AS PARENT
  • 17.
    A Few Thingsto Avoid D O N ’ T D O T H E W O R K F O R Y O U R C H I L D D O N ’ T C H A N G E Y O U R M I N D A T T H E L A S T MINUTE D O N ’ T N A G D O N ’ T L E T YOUR WORLD REVOLVE AROUND UNIVERSITY D O N ’ T C O M P E T E W I T H Y O U R F R I E N D S , PEERS, CO-WORKERS
  • 18.
    Something To ThinkAbout: U N I V E R S I T Y A D M I S S I O N I S N ’ T A J U D G M E N T O N MY LI FE U N I V E R S I T Y A D M I S S I O N I S N ’ T A J U D G M E N T O N MY PARENT S OR MY UPBRINGING T H E R E ’ S G O I N G T O B E S O M E S O R T O F REJECTION IN ALL OF THI S SUCCES SFUL UNIVERS ITY ADMI S S ION I S A B O U T E N D I N G U P W I T H A C H O I C E … . A N D BEING HAPPY A YEAR FROM NOW I HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION AND GUIDANCE T H A T ’ S A V A I L A B L E ; I W I L L T A K E C H A R G E , BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND TRUST THE PROCES S

Editor's Notes

  • #2 Mix of practical suggestions and then just some things to think about and sort through as a parent
  • #3 You are not the one DO-ing everything For many, this is a shift in your role and your parenting style But important – when child is at college you will not be right there to pick them up when they fall; but you will be available for “consulting” by phone or skype Don’t be completely hands off and then swoop in to “fix” things
  • #5 Parent Log in for Naviance? Will get it at JUKO Mock Admissions – what does that involve? We have them read applications and they act as if they’re on admissions committee
  • #8 Talk more about each of these Stay informed? Be part of the process….not running it, but staying involved
  • #9 Remember – this is your child’s college search, not yours Don’t put your own baggage on your child Don’t try to live through your child You need to figure out what is truly important to your child Open-ended questions that don’t offer judgment Questions that allow you to listen more than talk If have time, read: **Read Global Nomad’s guide – p. 239 **Don’t Tell Me What to Do – p. 5-7 **Letting Go – p. 225 What’s your favorite class? Tell me about it. Not – How was your biology test today? Tell me what you are thinking about universities? What excites you right now? Tell me where you are with your college applications. How can I support you? Not – have you finished that essay for your application yet?
  • #10 Open-ended questions that don’t offer judgment Questions that allow you to listen more than talk If have time, read: **Read Global Nomad’s guide – p. 239 **Don’t Tell Me What to Do – p. 5-7 **Letting Go – p. 225 What’s your favorite class? Tell me about it. Not – How was your biology test today? Tell me what you are thinking about universities? What excites you right now? Tell me where you are with your college applications. How can I support you? Not – have you finished that essay for your application yet?
  • #11 Listen to what your child wants and share what you want Don’t live through your child Don’t always talk about college – makes it too stressful your child will eventually not want to talk to you at all Maybe make a specific time/place to discuss college Think about having a neutral zone – dinner table? – where you don’t nag and don’t talk about college all the time Birch - I do think we should really stress the 'Don't always talk about college' line. I have so many seniors complaining that all their parents ever talk to them about is college or schoolwork or tests. Maybe talk college one night a week – that way everyone knows when the discussion will be and students know to be prepared to share what they’ve done and what they’re thinking
  • #12 From one of my parents a few years ago
  • #13 Calendar – more than just college include EE deadlines, IB requirements, school events, sports, testing, vacations/trips College Criteria Universities
  • #14 Every family’s list will be different; it is unique to you and your situation
  • #15 CUSTOMIZE Other things to include: Interviews SAT II Subject Tests required? One year – had student who included whether cars were allowed on campus and boy-girl ratio Where do they find the grade info? NAVIANCE
  • #16 $$ - allowance system; budget; debit card now? Other things you want them to know: Laundry Basic cooking Sew a button on? Street smarts?
  • #17 Think about what your life will be like when your child goes to college: last one to leave? First one to leave? What will you do? If you are no longer parenting 24/7, how will you fill your time in a healthy way? Preparing yourself and taking care of yourself also helps your child.
  • #18 Read slide…. Along those lines – NEXT SLIDE Phrase as To DO’s instead of Avoid?
  • #19 Help your child understand this Who is this?