Communicating in Style
Birgit Geiberger
UX SOFIA
7 June 2013, Sofia
Birgit Geiberger
Creative Director UX · Interaction Designer · Consultant
@birgitgcom
Communicating in Style
Overview
• Intro communication models
• The Social Style Model
• Identifying someone’s Style
• Communicating with Styles
• Social Styles at work
• Resolving conflicts
“One cannot not communicate”
Paul Watzlawick
Every behavior is a form of
communication
Words aren’t the key
Effectiveness of communication is based on
7% of the meaning of the words we use
38% of the way we say the words
55% of nonverbal clues
Research (1970) by Albert Mehrabian, Prof. emeritus UCLA, Author of
“Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes
93% is conveyed through
observable behavior
Effectiveness of communication is based on
7% of the meaning of the words we use
38% of the way we say the words
55% of nonverbal clues
Research (1970) by Albert Mehrabian, Prof. emeritus UCLA, Author of
“Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes
History of personality
types & theories
• Four temperaments (460–370 BC)
Galen & Hippocrates, Greek Physicians
• Type theory (1921)
Carl Jung, Swiss Psychotherapist & Psychiatrist
• DISC-theory (1928)
William Marston, American Psychologist
Comic book writer, who created the character “Wonder Woman”
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (1962)
Katherine Myers & her daughter Isabel Briggs, American Author
• People Styles Model (1964)
Dr. David Merrill & Roger Reid Industrial Psychologist
Models compared
approx.
Hippocrates
Jung
DISC
Merrill/Reid
Choleric
Director
Dominance
Sanguine
Intuitor
Influencing
Phlegmatic
Feeler
Steadiness
Melancholic
Thinker
Compliance
Myers/
Briggs
Extrovert /
Thinker
Extrovert /
Feeler
Introvert /
Feeler
Introvert /
Thinker
Driver Expressive Amiable Analytical
Adjustment of names
Social Styles
Social Styles
Director Socializer Relator Thinker
Merrill/Reid – Driver Expressive Amiable Analytical
The Social Styles Model
The Social Styles Model is Trademark of the Tracom Group
What are Social Styles
not?
• A method to interpret the "inside" of a person
• No thoughts, character or personality
assessment
inside versus outside
tThoughts
Feelings
Behavior
What are Social Styles?
• Observable behavioral patterns
• Based on the "outside" of a person
(verbal, vocal, and visual clues)
Indirect Direct
Guarded
Open
Indirect Direct
Relator
“Amiable Style”
People person
Socializer
“Expressive Style”
Front person
Thinker
“Analytical Style”
Thought person
Director
“Driver Style”
Action person
Guarded
Open
Indirect Direct
Guarded
Open
Indirect Direct
People oriented
Guarded
Open
Indirect Direct
Task oriented
Guarded
Open
Indirect Direct
Slow
pace
Guarded
Open
Indirect Direct
Fast
pace
X
X
Potential conflicts
Potential conflicts
X
X
Applying Social Styles
will help you to
• Improve communication
• Reduce conflict
• Increase pleasure of working
• Enhance individual & team performance
• Increase productivity
• Get better business results
The Social Styles in detail
25 % 25 %
25 % 25 %
Confirmed through research done by Wilson Learning
We all display some aspects
of each Social Style
But we have one dominant style
Dominant style,
our “comfort zone”
• Relate & work in ways that is ones favorite
• Emerged early in life
• This style became habitual
• Easiest to function with those patterns of
behavior
Relator: “I feel ...”
Relationship oriented
Relator
The support specialist
“It’s not win or lose, it’s how
many friends you have”
Relator
The support specialist
• Strong & loyal team players
• Good listeners & sensitive to others feelings
• Very supportive, approachable & cooperative
• Open with emotions, warm & friendly
• High priority on friendships & close relationships
• Easy to get along with
Relator
Potential issues
• Reluctant to change
• Stick to the comfortable & known
• Avoid risks
• Do things in a very slow-paced way
• Undisciplined in their use of time, due to sharing
personal objectives & feelings with others
Socializer: “I want ...”
Expression oriented
Socializer
The social specialist
“Let’s all do it – now!”
Socializer
The social specialist
• Highly flexible & adaptable to new situations
• Act quickly & are willing to take risks
• Very enthusiastic, energetic & spontaneous
• Very imaginative, lots of creative ideas
• Communicative & fun to be around
• Say & show what they think
• Involve others with their feelings & thoughts
Socializer
Potential issues
• Little concern for practical details
• Easily change course of action
• Move rapidly from subject to subject while
forgetting to address specifics
• Struggle with commitment & follow-through
• Undisciplined in their use of time (too many
distractions)
• Base decisions on opinions rather than facts & data
Director: “I will ...”
Action oriented
Director
The control specialist
“I want it done. Yesterday!”
Director
The control specialist
• Know exactly what they want, where they are going
& how to get there quickly
• Very focussed: swift, efficient, to the point in
everything they do. Out accomplishes anybody
• Make their own decisions, don't like at all to be told
what to do or what not to do - high need of control
• Prefer to be presented with options
• Take risks
Director
Potential issues
• Come across forceful & dominant
• Highly result driven – it’s not about pleasing people
on the way
• Say what they think
• Very impatient
• Work best without others or with people who are
able to move quickly
• Control & do not show emotions
Thinker: “I think ...”
Process oriented
Thinker
The method specialist
“I’d rather be right
than quick”
Thinker
The method specialist
• Base decisions purely on facts
(tangible, practical, realistic evidence)
• Ask questions, gathers information
• Steadfast, reliable & dependable
• Strong sense of duty & obligation
• Seem to move slowly, but they use their time in a
deliberate, disciplined manner
• Natural givers & cooperative team members
Thinker
Potential issues
• Study data seriously before forming an opinion or
being enthusiastic
• Can come across skeptical & critical
• Main priority is job at hand & the process to achieve it
• Avoid risks & are very cautious
• High control of emotions
• People and friendships are important, but it does not
show on initial contact – first the facts
Being timid Being erratic
Being too critical Being dominant
& demanding
Weakness
People to get along To be appreciated
To be right To be in control
Need
Fear
Change Not being liked
Being irrational / wrong Lack of control /
Weakness
Harmony & stability Inspiration
The perfect solution Productivity
Seek
To cooperate
To get directions
New & different things
Positive energy & optimism
To plan
Pattern & predictability
To take charge
Results
Like
Identifying someone’s Style
To identify someone’s Style,
pay attention to...
Their way of talking
• Loudness & tone of voice
• Topics of conversation (personal versus factual)
• “we” or “I”
• Pace
Their body language
• Many gestures
• Facial expressions
• Eye contact
Their listening skills
To identify someone’s Style,
determine the ...
• degree of Assertiveness
• degree of Responsiveness
in their behavior
Assertiveness
Amount of talking
Rate of speaking
Voice volume
Body movement
Expressed energy
Posture
Forcefulness of
gestures
Assertiveness
Less
Slower
Softer
Less, Slower
Less
Leans back
Less
More
Faster
Louder
More, Faster
More
Leans forward
More
Amount of talking
Rate of speaking
Voice volume
Body movement
Expressed energy
Posture
Forcefulness of
gestures
Responsiveness
Express feelings
Appear friendly
Facial expression
Gestures & touch
Vocal inflection
Small talk
Use of stories &
anecdotes
Responsiveness
Express feelings
Appear friendly
Facial expression
Gestures & touch
Vocal inflection
Small talk
Use of stories &
anecdotes
Less
Less
Less
Less
Less
Less
Less
(rather factual)
More
More
More
More
More
More
More
(very lively)
Talking
Direct assertion
Louder
Commanding
Uses voice to
emphasize
Indirect assertion
Quieter
Enquires
Even tone-of-
voice
Moderate Very fast
Slower Faster
Body
Language
Leans backward Leans forward
Body
Language
Facial expression
Lots of gestures
Mostly good eye-contact
Some facial expression
Regular gestures
Good eye-contact
Limited / no facial expression
Deliberate gestures
Intense eye-contact
Limited / no facial expression
Limited gestures
Limited eye-contact
ListeningGood Poor
Listens
Reacts
Interrupts (often w/ ideas)
Talks a lot
Listens very good
Reacts
Relates
Cares
Wants to control
conversation
May interrupt
Likes summaries
Listens very precise
May appears as they
are not
Listening
Communicating with
Social Styles
Animated, excitable
Can come on too strong
Informal, casual
Direct, to the point
Outspoken
Formal, business-like
Dreamy thoughts
May seem vague
Informal, casual
Specific, concise
Clear, logical
Formal, bottom-line
Style of
Communication
Animated, excitable
Can come on too strong
Informal, casual
Direct, to the point
Outspoken
Formal, business-like
Dreamy thoughts
May seem vague
Informal, casual
Specific, concise
Clear, logical
Formal, bottom-line
Style of
Communication
Relator
Will always ask ...
Why & Who?
How to communicate with a
Relator
• Be supportive
• Develop a relationship, spend time talking
• Be friendly & understanding
• Inform early on when changes may occur
• Don’t break promises
• Make them feel safe
Animated, excitable
Can come on too strong
Informal, casual
Direct, to the point
Outspoken
Formal, business-like
Dreamy thoughts
May seem vague
Informal, casual
Specific, concise
Clear, logical
Formal, bottom-line
Style of
Communication
Socializer
Will always ask ...
Who else?
How to communicate with a
Socializer
• Show appreciation for what they have done
• Be supportive of their ideas
• Never ignore them
• Be positive & show energy
• Help them to stay on track
Animated, excitable
Can come on too strong
Informal, casual
Direct, to the point
Outspoken
Formal, business-like
Dreamy thoughts
May seem vague
Informal, casual
Specific, concise
Clear, logical
Formal, bottom-line
Style of
Communication
Director
Will always ask ...
What & When?
How to communicate with a
Director
• Provide executive summary upfront
• Be clear & precise
• Get to the point fast, don’t irritate by being
inefficient or indecisive
• Provide options & show benefits
• Don’t talk about personal topics
Style of
Communication
Animated, excitable
Can come on too strong
Informal, casual
Direct, to the point
Outspoken
Formal, business-like
Dreamy thoughts
May seem vague
Informal, casual
Specific, concise
Clear, logical
Formal, bottom-line
Thinker
Will always ask ...
Why & how?
How to communicate with a
Thinker
• Provide a lot of information – they will seek for
patterns & factual relationships
• Provide thoughtful arguments & facts
• Give time to process
• Provide plans with deadlines to set expectations
• Inform early about potential changes
• Don't misinterpret lack of shown enthusiasm with
disinterest
Social Styles at work
Work style & pace
Relator
• Easy going, cooperative
• Always willing to help & support
• Goes with the flow
• No strong sense of urgency & rarely in a hurry
• Needs time to change
• Dislikes pressure
Work style & pace
Socializer
• Unstructured, likes freedom
• Lots of people interaction
• Makes lists of people to call & places to go
• Fast
• Bored easily
• Moves from one thing to another
Work style & pace
Director
• Works in priority order
• Does several things at once
• Intense, driven
• Generates ideas
• Very fast
• Likes change
Work style & pace
Thinker
• Thorough, attentive to detail
• Step by step procedures
• Concentrates on one thing at a time
• Methodical
• Steady stream of work
• Likes predictable routines
Work
Space
Interesting things, gadgets,
novelty items everywhere
Personal & fun photos
Desk area seems chaotic
Sentimental souvenirs
Photos of family & friends
Desk area may appear
cluttered
Functional
Organized
Rarely personal items
References at their fingertips
Lots of paper
Work organized in piles
Resolving conflicts
among Social Styles
Conflicts &
back-up behavior
• Every style has a characteristic back-up
behavior
• Back-up behavior can be extreme, inappropriate
& inflexible
• People fall into this behavior when under
pressure or in a conflict situation
• Recognizing & addressing this behavior in an
appropriate manner can resolve conflicts
Back-up
behavior
Flight Fight
Back-up
behavior
With others
Solo
Back-up
behavior
Consenting
Submissive
Attacking
Sarcastic
Avoiding
Withdraw
Autocratic
Dictatorial
Flight Intervene
Flight Listen to their concerns
FightNeutralize
FightLet them vent
Steps to resolve
conflicts
1.Identify styles of participants
2.Plan for upcoming conversation
• Determine styles & consciously prepare to flex
• Adapt deliverables & presentation accordingly
3.Apply your knowledge & adapt if necessary
4.Evaluate afterwards to learn from the
experience
Please remember...
No style is better than another
Beware of generalization and
swift judgement
Always assume good intentions
even if you don’t understand
people’s behavior.
They may simply have a
different style.
Thank you!
Birgit Geiberger · design@birgitg.com

UXsofia "Communicating in Style" 60 minutes