This document describes a program developed by two organizations to support cross-cultural couples. They conducted a survey that found issues with extended family, different values, and feeling like an outsider were common problems for these couples. They held workshops to increase couples' awareness of how culture can impact relationships and help them build skills to overcome challenges. A survey found the workshops successfully increased participants' knowledge and confidence in discussing cultural differences with their partners. The program aimed to provide early intervention for cross-cultural couples experiencing issues related to cultural differences.

1. Two cultures- One relationshipTwo cultures- One relationship
(How does your culture impact(How does your culture impact
your relationship)your relationship)
2015 FRSA Conference
Presenters:
Kia Antoniadis (Australian Greek Welfare Society)
Angela Damianopoulos (Family Relationships Institute Inc.)

2. How the idea came aboutHow the idea came about
 Family Relationships Institute (Relatewell)-
Delivering marriage and relationship support to couples including pre-
marital courses and counselling since 1978
Australian Greek Welfare Society (AGWS)-
Providing support services to the Greek speaking community since 1972
and family relationship support re bicultural issues since 2000
Trends in the community-
Australia becoming more diverse leading to a rise in mixed-culture and
mixed-faith relationships
Identifying the gap-
Gap identified by both organisations/ discussions/community survey
carried out and attracted 30 respondents which confirmed there is a need

3. We received 30 anonymous
responses!
Let’s do a community survey
to see if there is a need for
this…

4. Profile summary of results from theProfile summary of results from the
community surveycommunity survey
-More than 93% of respondents were females
who were in cross cultural relationships. Most of
them were married or had been in a committed
relationship for 5-10 years
-Some examples of ethnic backgrounds included
Greek, Italian, Turkish, South American,
Chinese, Croatian, Australian & Irish
-Some examples of religious backgrounds
included Catholic, Orthodox, Muslim, Taoism,
Anglican, Baptist & Atheist

5. Some typical issues of difference which they
identified to have caused conflict included
(in order of most to least common):
•Issues with extended family/in-laws (81%)
•Different values
•Feeling like an outsider
•Baptising children
•Type of marriage ceremony
•Naming children
•Language barriers/issues
•Gender roles/expectations
•Being mocked or disrespected in relation to cultural
differences
•Pressure to convert or follow a particular religion (35%)

6. PROGRAM LOGIC-
Cross-cultural couples have issues of difference based on their
cultural backgrounds. These issues of difference can cause
conflict especially when there is some level of resistance from the
other party to incorporate a cultural element into their life.
Sometimes it’s about ego, other times it is about loyalty to
extended family. It can come from external pressures (family) or
internal values.
We thought it would be helpful for cross-cultural couples to have
access to specialised support and there did not appear to be any
in the ‘not-for-profit’ sector. As we had the expertise, we decided
to do it.
We decided to run a 2-hour workshop for couples in cross-cultural
relationships with the aim of having a PREVENTATIVE/EARLY
INTERVENTION focus. Relatewell recruited the participants and I
developed the presentation and delivered it.

7. OBJECTIVES-
 Short-term objective- To increase the couples’ awareness of how
their family/cultural background can affect their relationship.
METHODOLOGY:
 Group setting
 Presentation and activity based
 Discussions - issues of difference leading to conflict.
 Medium-term objective- To help couples build resilience and
strength in their relationship in order to overcome future
challenges
METHODOLOGY:
 Group settings, presentations as above
 Discussions – avoiding / managing conflict through respectful and
open communication
 Discussions on how cultural background is connected to people’s
identity and mindsets.

8. Monday night workshop presentationMonday night workshop presentation
(Being in a Cross-Cultural Relationship)(Being in a Cross-Cultural Relationship)
PROGRAM OUTLINE -PROGRAM OUTLINE -
Introduction Exercise
Presenter details
Group objectives
What is a cross-cultural relationship
How this can be a risk
What are the common issues in a cross-cultural
relationship and the different stages of marriage
‘Must-Have Conversations’ (activity)
How to strengthen your relationship

9. ‘Must-Have Conversations’ Activity
The concept of ‘must-have conversations’ can be found on
many pre-marriage websites. The main purpose they serve is
to prompt couples to have discussions about topics of
significance before they present in order for the couple to
identify any major value differences for example abortion or
moving interstate for work etc.
The survey developed and used with participants came from
a similar source found on a religious website for couples
planning to marry*. There were 20 items in the survey in
total.
* This site is called ‘Foryourmarriage.com’ which is an initiative of the United
States Conference of Catholic Bishops

10.
2. As far as religious practice goes…
A. Both my parents were regular church-goers and practiced the
rituals of our religion, but us children did not have to do this
after a certain age
B. The whole family (including us children) went to church
regularly and practiced religious rituals strictly. There was no
element of choice.
C. My parents were religious even though they were not regular
church-goers. We still practiced some aspects of the religion
but not strictly. There was an element of choice.
D. My parents were not very religious and rarely went to church
or practiced any religious rituals

11. 14. In my family of origin, responsibility for keeping the home
tidy belonged to:
A. Everyone picked up after themselves
B. Mother or father picked up after the kids
C. I never noticed. It was never an issue.
D. Nobody picked up. (Our house was pretty messy.)

12. ‘Must-Have Questionnaire’ (CONT…)
The participants in our groups were given the survey and asked to
reflect on their own family of origin as they responded to the
items. There was a mix of questions from how many children do
you want to have to ones about how their own parents did things
like celebrate Christmas etc.
They then shared each other’s responses as a couple and were
encouraged to talk about how things were done in their family
and their views about this.
Finally we went through the items as a group and talked about how
these differences can present issues in the future, but how helpful
it is to respectfully negotiate fair solutions and embrace elements
of both cultures.

13. THE SUNDAY GROUP
 The rationale/aim of presenting this module- To promote the
Monday workshop ‘Being in a Cross-Cultural Relationship’
 The Sunday groups were different to the Monday groups. Not all
of them were in cross-cultural relationships and they had been
referred by their priest
 Sunday groups were given a presentation similar to the Monday
group but this one was called ‘Family of Origin/Cultural
background Influences on a relationship’
 In 2014- 25 couples received the presentation (50 participants).
In 2015- 26 couples (52 participants). So, 102 people received
this presentation over 2 years.
 None attended a Monday workshop but their awareness increased
(short-term objective) as indicated by their responses to the
immediate outcome survey.

14. Sunday group results to the immediate outcome survey showing
an increased awareness was achieved:
(102 TOTAL RESPONDENTS OVER 2014 &2015)
Q1. I am satisfied with the information I received from this session
Agreed- 92%
Disagreed-4%
No opinion- 4%
Q2. This session raised issues which I believe can play a significant role in my
relationship
Agreed- 70%
Disagreed-18%
No opinion- 12%

15. Sunday group results to the immediate outcome survey showing an increased
awareness was achieved:
CONT…
Q3. As a result of this session, I have gained knowledge which can improve my
relationship
Agreed- 84%
Disagreed-9%
No opinion- 7%
Q4. As a result of this session, I feel more confident about discussing these types of
issues with my partner
Agreed- 70%
Disagreed-18%
No opinion- 12%
Q5. I would be happy to attend counselling in the future if I experience problems in my
relationship
Agreed- 62%
Disagreed-14%
No opinion- 24%

16. POSSIBLE REASONS WHY THE SUNDAY
GROUP DID NOT ENGAGE
 They did not see themselves as being at risk. Possibly
because they had not progressed far enough in the
relationship to be confronted with major issues of
difference
 They were in denial because they were focused on their
wedding and did not want to face any issues which might
cause conflict
 They were not really there by choice and not all of them
were in mixed cultural relationships so their motivation and
sense of safety was perhaps low

17. EVALUATION
 Short-term objective- To increase the couples’ awareness of
how their family/cultural background can affect their relationship.
-Measured by the Immediate outcomes survey (5 questions)
which was given at the end of Sunday and Monday presentations
(n=122)
 Medium-term objective- To help couples build resilience and
strength in their relationship in order to overcome the challenges
-Measured by the Intermediate outcomes survey (5 questions)
as well as the Follow-up Questionnaire which was given to the
Monday workshop participants 6-9 months after the workshop
(n=20)
 Regular review meetings and communication between the partners

18. RESULTS: IMMEDIATE OUTCOMES
(122 TOTAL RESPONDENTS)
Q1. I am satisfied with the information I received from this session
Agreed- 93% (92%)
Disagreed-3% (4%)
No opinion- 4% (4%)
Q2. This session raised issues which I believe can play a significant
role in my relationship
Agreed- 72% (70%)
Disagreed-16% (18%)
No opinion- 12% (12%)

19. IMMEDIATE OUTCOMES RESULTS
CONT…
Q3. As a result of this session, I have gained knowledge which can
improve my relationship
Agreed- 83% (84%)
Disagreed-8% (9%)
No opinion- 9% (7%)
Q4. As a result of this session, I feel more confident about discussing
these types of issues with my partner
Agreed- 80% (70%)
Disagreed-5% (18%)
No opinion- 15% (12%)
Q5. I would be happy to attend counselling in the future if I experience
problems in my relationship
Agreed- 70% (62%)
Disagreed-18% (14%)
No opinion- 12% (12%)
THE FIRST OBJECTIVE WAS MET. AWARENESS HAD INCREASED!

20. RESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMESRESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMES
(20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)(20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)
Q1.Q1. The workshop highlighted specific issues that were relevant to us as a coupleThe workshop highlighted specific issues that were relevant to us as a couple
Agreed- 95%Agreed- 95%
Disagreed-Disagreed-
No opinion- 5%No opinion- 5%
Q2. The workshop gave us the confidence to deal with these issues of differenceQ2. The workshop gave us the confidence to deal with these issues of difference
by teaching us how to have healthy and respectful discussionsby teaching us how to have healthy and respectful discussions
Agreed- 80%Agreed- 80%
Disagreed-Disagreed-
No opinion- 20%No opinion- 20%

21. RESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMESRESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMES
(20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)(20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)
Q3.Q3. Thinking back, it was useful attending that workshopThinking back, it was useful attending that workshop
Agreed- 85%Agreed- 85%
Disagreed-Disagreed-
No opinion- 15%No opinion- 15%
Q4. The presenter seemed credible in her knowledge of the topicQ4. The presenter seemed credible in her knowledge of the topic
Agreed- 100%Agreed- 100%
Disagreed-Disagreed-
No opinion-No opinion-
VERY POSITIVE RESULTS INDICATING THAT COUPLES FOUND THEVERY POSITIVE RESULTS INDICATING THAT COUPLES FOUND THE
WORKSHOP HELPFUL. IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER AND MOREWORKSHOP HELPFUL. IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER AND MORE
RESILIENT? WE NEED LONGITUDINAL DATA TO ANSWER THIS.RESILIENT? WE NEED LONGITUDINAL DATA TO ANSWER THIS.

22. RESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMESRESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMES
(17/20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)(17/20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)
From the questionnaire-From the questionnaire-
Please indicate how your relationship is going now-Please indicate how your relationship is going now-
We certainly have the occasional issues but we seem to get over the hurdlesWe certainly have the occasional issues but we seem to get over the hurdles
and believe we have the skills to make it over the long hauland believe we have the skills to make it over the long haul (65%)(65%)
It’s a miracle how we’ve survived. The disagreements and arguments haveIt’s a miracle how we’ve survived. The disagreements and arguments have
almost destroyed our relationshipalmost destroyed our relationship (12%)(12%)
Our relationship has not survived. The issues of difference were just tooOur relationship has not survived. The issues of difference were just too
greatgreat (24%)(24%)
Our relationship has not survived, but the reasons for its failure were notOur relationship has not survived, but the reasons for its failure were not
about our cultural differencesabout our cultural differences (-)(-)
THIS SUGGESTS THAT 6-12 MONTHS AFTER THE WORKSHOP, SOMETHIS SUGGESTS THAT 6-12 MONTHS AFTER THE WORKSHOP, SOME
HAVEN’T MADE IT, BUT MOST OF THEM ARE DOING OKHAVEN’T MADE IT, BUT MOST OF THEM ARE DOING OK

23. RESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMESRESULTS: INTERMEDIATE OUTCOMES
(17/20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)(17/20 TOTAL RESPONDENTS- FROM THE MONDAY GROUPS)
From the questionnaire-From the questionnaire-
Most common issues experienced-Most common issues experienced-
(in order of most to least common)(in order of most to least common)
Gender roles and expectations (71%)Gender roles and expectations (71%)
Issues with extended families or in-lawsIssues with extended families or in-laws
Feeling like an outsiderFeeling like an outsider
Different valuesDifferent values
Being disrespected or mocked because of cultural differenceBeing disrespected or mocked because of cultural difference
Language barriers/issuesLanguage barriers/issues
Baptising childrenBaptising children NB. 82% had no children yet!NB. 82% had no children yet!
Type of marriage ceremony (religion/venue)Type of marriage ceremony (religion/venue)
Naming childrenNaming children
Pressure to convert or follow my partner’s religion (6%)Pressure to convert or follow my partner’s religion (6%)

24. COUNSELLINGCOUNSELLING
Out of the 20 participants who attended the Monday workshops 3 couples andOut of the 20 participants who attended the Monday workshops 3 couples and
one individual requested counselling.(Another 4 couples from promotional)one individual requested counselling.(Another 4 couples from promotional)
1.1. COUPLE XCOUPLE X
(Greek/Mauritius)(Greek/Mauritius)
2.2. COUPLE YCOUPLE Y
(Romanian/Australian)(Romanian/Australian)
3.3. COUPLE ZCOUPLE Z
(Nepalese/Sri Lankan)(Nepalese/Sri Lankan)
4.4. Female IndividualFemale Individual
(Indian/Australian)(Indian/Australian)
* Read out case study for couple Y* Read out case study for couple Y

25. N’s comment-
“One thing that was really effective for us was to open up
about our concerns with each other which was really scary.
For example, my concern was that I was not prepared to
get married to someone who was of a different religion to
me because it is such a big part of my life and I wanted to
share it with the person I loved. The issue was that I had
been hiding this from Z for almost 2 years and had lied to
her about it because I was scared of losing her. Your
workshop as well as praying, talking with my friends and
family and talking to my priest helped me to understand
that I needed to be honest with myself and her. When I
told her the truth and revealed that I had been dishonest
with her, she was devastated and it almost cost us our
relationship. It was a very difficult and painful period which
could have been avoided had I been honest from the start.
Through an absolute miracle, she forgave me and we were
able to move forward and now she understands what I
really wanted. She has converted and we are both
orthodox now”

26. FURTHER CONSIDERATIONS-
-Longitudinal data is needed. What happens to
these couples after 5 years? Perhaps enlist a
research institution
-Our organisations are now part of the Families
and Children Expert Panel Outcomes
Measurement Project
-Taped interviews of real life cross-cultural
couples
-Role plays to improve communication skills
-Using a bi-cultural facilitator is recommended

27. THE PROJECT POTENTIAL -
-Based on the current promotional material
available via multimedia we receive an average
of 12 contacts per month mainly from couples
whom have attended a premarital program at
RelateWell.
-There is no commitment at this point but
reference to future participation.
- As partner organisations, we will need to source
ways in which to further promote and engage
this client group as interest is definitely there.

28. COMMUNITY INTEREST IN THE TOPIC OF
CROSS-CULTURAL COUPLES
-Food for Thought Network: Guest speaker
-The Exchange (TV Program)
https://youtu.be/B0Cflxfh0zY?list=PLoh

29. CLOSE-
Any questions or Comments?