This document discusses how teachers' use of verbal modifiers can communicate unintended "metamessages" to students. It provides examples of statements with positive or negative metamessages depending on the modifier used, such as "only", "still", or "seriously". The document warns that metamessages using these modifiers risk implying to students that there is something wrong with them. It advises teachers to be aware of their word choices and metamessages to create a supportive classroom environment and avoid unintentionally shaming students.

1. TRICKS OF THE TRADE 3:
VERBAL MODIFIERS
EnhancedTeachingTechniques in Language-Based Discipline
A Psychoeducation forTeachers Skill-BuildingGuide

2. Teachers, pay attention to your
metamessages to students
 Many statements have two levels of meaning. One level is
the basic information that we communicate with the
specific words we say.The second level conveys our
attitudes and feelings; most specifically, revealing what we
think and how we feel about the words we are saying.This
deeper level of communication is known in linguistic
literature as the metamessages level. Simply put, a
metamessage is the in-depth message that can be implied
from the surface message.One of the ways in which we can
create a metamessage is by including a verbal modifier in
the sentence. As defined by McKay, Davis, and Fanning
(2009), verbal modifiers are special words that add nuances
of meaning to the sentence. Some words and phrases
commonly used to modify verbs are…

3.  Words: certainly, only, merely, naturally, now,
later, sure, just, still, again, slightly, lately,
seriously, supposedly.
 Phrases: of course, come on, I’m sure, I guess.

4.  Some examples of metamessages developed
through a verbal modifier follow.The verbal
modifiers are in italics.
 Cheer up! It’s only her opinion.
 Metamessage:You are taking her opinion too
seriously.
 Are you still working on that problem?
 Metamessage:You are taking too much time on
one problem.
 I was just saying…
 Metamessage: Calm down!You cannot take my
point of view.

5.  You certainly are funny today.
 Metamessage: I’m not comfortable with your
jokes.
 Here you go again!
 Metamessages:What you are doing, you do it
repeatedly and what you do repeatedly
annoys me.

6.  You are telling me the truth, I guess.
 Metamessage: I doubt that you are telling me
the truth.
 Come on, guys, stop talking!
 Metamessage: Chill out, guys! I’m annoyed
with your talking.
 You tried your best, I’m sure.
 Metamessage: I’m not sure that you tried your
best.

7.  You were minding your own business, of
course.
 Metamessage: I doubt that you were minding
your own business.
 You were minding your own business…
seriously?
 Metamessage: I strongly doubt that you were
minding your own business.

8.  Now, what do you need?
 Metamessages:You ask for too much and I’m
running out of patience.
 Supposedly, you want to settle this issue with
Gregory.
 Metamessage: Are you sure that you want to
settle this issue?
 Naturally, you had to start trouble!
 Metamessages: Starting trouble is what you do,
and starting trouble is a part of you or your
identity.

9.  On the surface, a statement sounds harmless but
underneath there may be a metamessage blaming and/or
shaming the student.The biggest offender in finding fault
in children is the “there must be something wrong with you”
metamessage. Let’s review some of the previous examples,
this time, with “there must be something wrong with you”
included:
 There must be something wrong with you if you take her
opinion so seriously.
 There must be something wrong with you if you need so
much time for just one problem.
 There must be something wrong with you if you cannot take
my point of view.

10.  There must be something wrong with your jokes if they make me
feel uncomfortable.
 There must be something wrong with you if you keep repeating
this particular behavior.
 There must be something wrong with you guys if you are still
talking.
 There must be something wrong with you if you do not try your
best.
 There must be something wrong with you if you ask so much.
 There must be something wrong with you if you don’t want to
settle this issue.
 There must be something wrong with you if you have to start
trouble.
 There must be something wrong with you if you repeatedly have to
start trouble.

11.  If teachers are not careful, our
metamessages may be feeding feelings of
inefficacy and self-doubt in students.
Knowledge of metamessages is a basic
interpersonal communication skill to build a
positive and constructive classroom
atmosphere, with students feeling engaged
and motivated.

12. Reference
 McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009).
Messages:The Communication Skills Book.
Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

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teachers and school counselors
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