moral story

1. The 7 Habits of Highly
Effective People
Powerful Lessons in Personal
Change

2. Session 1:
Problems and Solutions

3. I had a problem, a big one
 I had a well paid job. My boss is
really nice. I saw a bright career path
in front of me.
 I lived out of my own country and far
from my family.
 I failed multiple times in
relationships. I felt lonely after I went
home. I wanted to have my own
family.
 I am not happy!

4. In fact, everybody had one
 I am having tremendous professional
success, but it’s cost me personal and
family life.
 I know I’m overweight. I tried all the ways
without success.
 My employees are always waiting for me to
give them orders. I am tired of that.
 I am too busy. I feel pressured and hassled
all day, every day, seven days a week.
 My kid won’t listen to me anymore
 There is no love in my marriage. We don’t
feel it anymore.

5. What’s the biggest problem
you are facing?
 At work
 In family
 Relationship
 Health
 Time
 Meaning of life
 Death

6. What to do with the problem?
 Put it aside, try not to think
about it
 Worry about it
 Talk about it
Work on it!

7. Deal with the problem
 Acknowledge the problem
 A problem cannot be solved if we
pretend that it doesn’t exist
 A real problem cannot be hidden
 A real problem won’t go away
 Define the problem
 What’s bothering me most? Why?
 Write it down
 Solve the problem
How?

8. New Level of Thinking
“The significant
problems we face
cannot be solved at
the same level of
thinking we were at
when we created
them”
– Albert Einstein

9. The way we see the problem
is the problem
 It’s “out there”. It’s the problem of the
others.
 We look at the symptoms and ignore the
root cause
 We expect some magic techniques and
quick fixes. The real solution may be a long
process and require significant efforts
 Examples:
 Employees lack of loyalty
 Marriage without love
 Always busy, but little accomplished

10. How to see differently?

11. Paradigm - How do we “see”
things?
 The “lens” we all wear
 We all see things through our own “Paradigms”,
which are our own ways of thinking.
 We may not know the paradigm exists, like
contact lens. We think what we see is objective.
But it may not be.
 Two people can see the same thing, disagree
and yet both be right.
 Our unique experience creates the “lens”
 Family
 Education
 Environment
 Culture

12. Power of the Paradigm
 Paradigm is our map
 Reality, the way things are, where are we now.
 Value, the way things should be, where do we
want to be
 Paradigm determines
 Our attitudes
 Our behaviors
 Wrong map
 Try to find ways in
New York using a
map of Chicago.
 Working on
attitudes and
behaviors won’t
help.

13. What to do with our
Paradigms?
 Be aware of them
 Take responsibilities of them,
examine them, test them against
reality
 Listen to others, be open to their
perspectives
 Get the large picture

14. Paradigm shift - “See” things
differently
 Paradigm shift is powerful
 Fundamentally change our attitudes and
behaviors
 The only way for us to make
significant and quantum changes
 Science
 From Earth center to Sun center
 From bloodletting to gem theory
 Society
 From Kings to Democracy
 Life
 Life threaten crisis
 Step into a new role

15. Solve our problems
 What are the “maps” we are using?
 The way we “see” things
 The way we “handle” things
 Are the “maps” correct?
 Can they explain our current situation?
 Can we get to the destination using
them?
 Are we lost using the current map?
 Change the map

16. Thoughts about my own
problem
 My old paradigms
 There is only successful career path for me. I
rely on my boss to promote me in the company
ladder. To be successful in career, I have to live
in United States.
 My perfect partner will fall into my life from
heaven. We will fall in love immediately and be
happy ever after. I just need to wait.
 Love is sweet and all about happiness.
 As long as I have a family, every problem will be
resolved.
 My attitude and behaviors are solely based
on those paradigms.
 Are they correct?

17. What’s the “correct map”?
 Principles
 Real, unchanging,
unarguable and self-
evident as natural laws
 Universally applicable
among different
societies and religions
 Examples
 Only if you are trustworthy, you can earn
long term trust
 Principles determine the results
 “Correct map” are Principle-Centered

18. Principles, Practices and
Values
 Principles vs. Practices
 Guidelines vs. Activities
 Universal application vs.
Situation Specific
 Always true vs. Work in
some circumstances
 Principle empowers
people to create variety of
practices to deal with
different situations
 Principles vs. Value
 Objective territory vs. Map

19. How to change the “map”?
 Inside-out
 Start with yourself
 Paradigms
 Characters
 Motives
 Private victory precedes public victory
 Keep Promise to ourselves before to others
 Improve ourselves before improve the
relationships
 Work on our characters before work on
personalities
 Continuing renewal process

20. Inside-out examples
 To have a good marriage
 Generate positive energy
 Sidestep negative energy
 To have a pleasant, cooperative teenager
 More understanding
 Empathic
 Consistent
 Loving
 To have more freedom, more latitude in
your job
 Be more responsible
 More helpful
 More contributing
 To be trusted
 Be trustworthy

21. Put the “map” inside us,
permanently
 Characters
 Relatively permanent
 Distinguishing features
 Manifest when relates to
others and reacts to various
kinds of challenges
 Examples
 Courage
 Honesty
 Loyalty
 Characters determine our destiny
 Determine our actions and reactions
 Determine how people see us and treat us

22. Characters Ethic vs.
Personalities Ethic
 Characters Ethic
 The foundation of success
come from the Characters
like Integrity, Humility,
Courage…
 Personalities Ethic
 Human and Public
Relationship techniques
 Positive Mental Attitude
 Characters vs.
Personalities
 Inside-out vs. Outside-in
 Permanent vs.
Inconsistent
 Natural vs. Artificial

23. The New Paradigm
 The new level of thinking
 Principle-centered
 Character-based
 Inside-out

24. Principles of Growth
 Growth are sequential
 Multiple Stages
 The later stage is built
upon the previous one
 Each one is important.
None can be skipped
 Each one takes time
 Example: Learning to run
 Turn over, sit up, crawl, walk, run

25. The Paradigm Change
Process
 It’s a continuing
renewal process
 Learn the principles
 Build the characters
 Start with ourselves
 Emotional Development Level
 Listening to others requires Patience,
Openness, Desire to understand
 No quick fixes. No shortcut

26. Conclusion
Solution to your problem
Change the way you see the it

27. What’s next?
 We learned
 Our significant problems are the fruits of
our own paradigms, the “lens” we wear
and the “maps” we use
 Our problems can only be solved by
paradigm shifts.
 A correct paradigm is Principle-
Centered, Character-based, Inside-out
 Paradigm shift takes a continuing
renewal process
 What’s missing
 A actionable process to guide us in
making the paradigm shift

28. Next Session
Session 2
The Overview of The 7 Habits