After having coached agile projects for over fifteen years, according to Sander Hoogendoorn, to look back and retrospect over what agile, Scrum and other agile approaches have brought us in real-life. In his well-known, high-speed style Sander will motivate why agile is dead, why you need to stay away from Scrum task-boards, how to stay away from estimates and deadlines, how to avoid red sprints, how to put your trust in metrics, how to draw an owl, that project managers needn’t be a total waste after all, and most of all that you are not Usain Bolt.