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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi

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This document provides an overview of Islamic teachings on marriage in 3 chapters: 1) It emphasizes the importance and benefits of marriage in Islam, noting it is obligatory except for those unable to marry. It discusses qualities to look for in a spouse. 2) It outlines virtues of wives and treating them well according to Islamic guidelines. It also discusses rules around marrying widows. 3) It discusses the importance of equality between spouses in terms of religion, character, lineage and wealth. Genealogy should not be a basis for inequality. Overall, the document provides guidance on forming marriages adhering to Islamic principles and avoiding cultural customs that violate them.

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1 Sayings of Mawlana Ashraf Ali ThanawixlU-u^j DARUL-ISHAAT Karachi-Pakistan.
THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGE Sayings of Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi Compiled by Mawlana Muhammad Zayd Mazahri Nadwi English Rendering Rafique Abdur Rahman DARULISHAAT Urdu Bazar. Karachi-Pakistan
Copyright Regd. No. AH Rights ofTranslation are Reserved h ith DARUL - ISHAATKARACHI Copyright delegated to MohammadAsif310-New Meena Bazar Jama Masjid Dehli India PUBLISHER'S SUBMISSION FIRST EDITION 2009 PRINTED AT ILM! GRAPHICS PCBLISHER DARUL - ISHAAT CROC BAZAR KARACHI-1 PAKISTAN. E-mail. i.haat@pk.netsolir com, ishaat@cyber.net.pk AVAILABLE AT MAKTABA MA ARIFUL QURAN. DARUL ULOOM. KORANGI. KARACHI AVAILABLE IN U.K. AZHAR ACADEMY L TD. 54-68 LITTLE ILFORD LANE. MANOR PARK. LONDON E12 5QA The worsening of Muslim society in matters relating to marriage is touching dangerous limits. This book can play a very effective role in correcting the wrongs rampant in our society provided it is introduced to every home and its teaching are observed. Of the several books written on this subject, this book can be described as a new and important book because of its method of treatments and subject analysis. May Allah make it beneficial universally and may He make it a means of reforming the Islamic society. Aameen! AVAILABLE IN U.S.A DARUL-ULOOM AL-MADAMA MADRASAH ISLAMIAH BOOK STORE 182 SOBIESKI STREET. 6665 BINTLIFF. HOLSTON, BUFFALO. NY 14212. U.S A TX-77074. USA AVAILABLE INSOUTHAFRICA AL-HUDA PUBLICATIONS 35 CENTRAL AVE MAYFAIR 2092 JOHANFNSBURG S. AFRICA
7 The Islamic Marriage The Islamic Marriage CONTENTS . KHUTBA-E-NIKAH ’AU. : ; ............................................................... . ..... a1J b 3J 01 J J OXu>u <l(J f*■ c, > "■ ' >>xx^,x -• x » x ,x * j aJ a1Ji aA_^ j ' '"x~£' jj J Jjl a_Jl V jl J aj *>Q J 4jli> Ji?- ajjl IjAj Ij^al j^jJllgAj d_J 3 ?*^'5 u^ij JJi (X?j iyji J-uJii^i b j U1~J aB’ 'A* 5 s-Cj j j^ u^_o c-» j A* ^JxjLfr JlT aJJ| jjl j aj OjJ j-L—j <_£J s qJ'^1 '*•^1*^ ■*' S'J—S Ij_Jj_3 J aXJ| IJ fl7l IjZal 'jy J aII1 ^Jaj J ^&jj->2> jAij Foreword Publisher's submission CHAPTER ONE 29 SECTION ONE 29 Some ahadith concerning importance of marriage 29 Benefits of marriage from point of view of religion and hereafter 29 Comments 30 Warning on not marrying 30 Marriage is a form of worship 31 SECTION TWO 31 Marriage is a dealing but not a worldly affair 31 Objectives and benefits of marriage 31 Intention behind marriage 32 Wisdom behind marriage 33 Islamic command 33 Objectives 34 Not merely eating 34 Other advantages 35 Disadvantages of an unmarried life 35 Marriage when ninety years old 36 Another case 36 Mawalana Fadlur Rahman married when one hundred years old 36 Haji sahib's second marriage in old age 37 Warning to the unmarried Why the warning Excuses for not marrying Ahadith on the excuses 38 SECTION THREE 39 The juristic command Wajib (obligatory) 39 Fard (absolute obligatory) 39 39
The Islamic Marriage 9 8________________________________________ _________The Islamic Marri; Musnun (recommended) 39 Forbidden 39 Different conditions 39 What should a poor man do 40 Is a father responsible and does he commit sin by delaying his childen's marriage? 40 CHAPTER TWO 43 Concerning a wife 43 SECTION ONE 43 Virtues of a wife 43 The best friend 43 Importance of women and valuing their support 43 Wife is a great benefector 43 Wife's sacrifice 44 Favours of women 44 Mismanagement without wife 45 SECTION TWO 45 Merit of a village woman 4-> Excellence of ill-mannered bad skilled women Old wife worth esteem A story 4 SECTION THREE 4S 48 Merits of Indian women Love husbands Chastity 49 Patience Self satisfaction Thought for husband _l Faithfulness 5? CHAPTER THREE 3 Concering widows -3 Marriage of widow L3 Custom ofjahiliyah Widow marriage fard Widow's marriage more necessary than a virgin's ,4 A widow needs more attention The evils of a widow not marrying 54 Marry off a window even if she is unwilling 54 No harm if an old widow with children does not marry 55 Pressure of in-laws 55 Unlimited oppression 55 Ignorant opposition to Sliariali 56 Forced marriage 56 The duties of in-laws of a widow - Islamic teachings 56 CHAPTER FOUR ON EQUALITY 59 SECTION ONE 59 Importance and wrongs of marrying outside 59 Standard is measured from husband's point of view 59 Marriage of unequal 60 The first kind 60 The second kind 60 The third kind 60 The fourth kind 60 SECTION TWO 61 On lineage 61 Definition 6] Wisdom in equality of lineage gj Nobility of descent is real 53 Arrogance not lawful 54 Descent is from father 54 Evidence from Shariah gj Reliability of Sayyid SECTION THREE Comment on India's tables of genealogy Family trees of India Thrusted tables of genealogy How will equality work in India Equality on basis of community and tribe Genealogy and tribal links also from basis of equality today 66 66 67 67 67 67 68 68 68 Are the Ansars and the Summary Quraysh equals
11 10 The Islamic Marri Non Arab scholar not equal to arab woman A common mistake 68 SECTION FOUR 69 Equality from religious point of veiw 69 The first kind 69 The second kind 69 The third kind 70 Confirm that the groom is a Muslim 79 Verify' that he does not move about with the misled 70 Marriage with a Christian or Jew woman 70 Wealth or pedigree perfered over religion 71 Why base on religion 72 Not prepare to match a religious man with an irreligious woman 72 SECTION FIVE 73 Equality in age 73 Tolerable difference 74 The girl must refuse when there is a mismatch 75 Evils of marrying young boy to an elder woman 75 SECTION SIX 76 Equality in terms of wealth 76 Should a rich girl be chosen 76 CHAPTER FIVE Choosing a partner ' 77 SECTION ONE 77 Characteristics of groom 77 Definition of a religious minded 7g A saintly person consulted a Jew 7g Selecting a groom 79 Do not choose foreigners 79 Very close relatives not preferred 79 Choose partner for girl very carefully SECTION TWO g0 The best women gO What to look for in a bride The Islamic Marriage___________ To look for modem education Better if she has religious education Consequences of seeking beauty Undeniable fact If two happen to fall in love.... A very beautiful wife is also dangerous The case of an innocent beautiful woman Marrying for money Seeking a large dowry Dowry without demand CHAPTER SIX SECTION ONE Supplication Istikharah before marriage Effort and trust plus prayer Some etiquettes of prayer Prayer to get a good match Refuge from evil partner Prayer of Istikharah Istikharah for marriage Istikharah before resolve When is it suitable Reality of istikharah When can it be beneficial 82 82 82 82 82 83 83 83 85 85 85 85 86 86 87 88 89 89 89 90 90 The objective The time The method 91 91 92 A condition 92 Cast spell or make amulet to marry someone 92 specifically 92 Amulet and spell concerning marriage 92 Marriage may take place easily 92 That daughters may get suitable proposals 93 Importance guidelines concerning marriage 93 CHAPTER SEVEN 95 Other guidelines 95
12 The Islamic M; SECTION ONI W ise to see the bride betore marriage Caution Their relationship before marriage It is unlawful to imagine pleasure with a fiancee Consent of both necessary Consequence of neglecting opinion of the concerned How to get their opinion It is wrong to leave everything in their hands Proposal and marriage without consulting elders Modety is a must Marriage through advertisement SECTION TWO Authority of young people Marrying them off without permission How to get her permission Who is die guardian Defects of a girl's marrying herself SECTION THREE Marriage should be conducted with honesty Marrying off a girl witli shortcomings Marrying off to an important husband Announce the marriage Disadvantages of a secret marriage When it is necessary Who should propose CHAPTER EIGHT Ideal age Disadvantages of delaying marriage of daughters Delay because of jewellery and dowry Delay because of arranging banquet Foolish excuse about suitable match Are there fewer qualified young men Marriage in childhood is harmful Evils of child marriage Do not marry during student years 95 The Islamic Marriage _______ - Not when minor 108 95 When do they become adults 108 95 Minor may marry when necessary 108 95 Early marriages better 108 9S Responsibility of parents 109 96 Do not marry off two children at ope time 109 96 CHAPTER NINE 111 96 Engagement and date of wedding 111 97 SECTION ONE 111 97 Reality of engagement 111 97 Gathering the community 111 97 These customs do not seal the engagement 111 98 Sayyidah Fatimah's example 112 Serving guests 112 98 qq Brokerage or commission on arranging match 112 99 SECTION TWO 113 100 Agreeing upon date of marriage 113 100 Zul Qadah is not inauspicious 114 Marriage in Zul Qadah, Muhurrum and Safar 114 101 Only sin and disobedience have an ill-augury 115 101 Marriage during eclipse 115 101 CHAPTER TEN 117 102 The wedding 117 102 Marriage ceremony and the assembly 117 102 An event 117 103 Who should perform the marriage 117 103 Fees of solemnising the merriage 117 105 When fees become unlawul 117 105 Important rulings that a qadi must know 119 105 Taking groom to a shrine, 121 105 Garlanding the groom 121 105 Reciting the kalimah 121 i06 Consent thrice or aameen 122 iO^ Distributing dry dates 122 10? Not dates alone 122 10? Ruling of Mawlana Hangoli 122
The Islamic Marriage 14 The Islamic Marrjj CHAPTER ELEVEN ]2j Connecting the dower ]2l SECTION ONE ]2, Wisdom behind the dower I21 Need for witnesses l2j General trend of dower 122 Such a one is an adulterer 121 He is treacherous as a thief j2j Dower should be a small amount ]2j Evidence from Shariah ]2j Blessed and easy dower 12< Disadvantages of high dower 125 The hadith 125 My experience 12( Dower that exceeds one's capacity I2f High dower to check husband 12( Nothing disgraceful 12‘ The limits ■ 12" Fatimi dower 121 A caution 12! SECTION TWO 12! An important rulingl dower in kind instead of cash $ Dower depends on intention 1;' Another important ruling It is shameful to ask one's wife to forgo her dower '• Willingness of heart is a condition, not mere write-off Minor wife's dower cannot be written-off Dower is a right and may be demanded Arab and Indian customs 1 Payment of dower does not discharge other duties of husband Write-off when husband is dying What should she do after his death j; When she is on her death bed Heirs of wife have right in her dower that must be paid to them Rending dower does not suspend payment of zakah 132 CHAPTER TWELVE 135 About the dowry 135 Whatever a groom receives without demand and desire (and is given) with sincerity is Allah's blessing 135 Reality and the command 135 Remember those things 136 Dowry of Sayyidah Fatimah 136 Evils of customary dowry 136 The list of dowry 136 Only ego is the driving force 137 Thief at heart 137 Kinds of ostentation 137 Land, property, field or capital for business as dowry 137 Too many clothes and garments for relatives 138 The correct dowry 138 Husband cannot use what belongs to his wife without her consent 139 Willing consent 139 CHAPTER THIRTEEN 141 Customary’ exchange of gifts 141 Does not create love 141 Reality of these customs 141 The view of Shariah 142 Nothing but a debt 143 To give up customary exchanges of gifts will snap ties of relationship 145 What is reasonable 145 Paying expenses 145 At the time of sending off the bride 145 The command of Shariah on things given as part of custom, out of shae or pressure 146 CHAPTER FOURTEEN 147 The wedding procession It is a Hindu custom 147 No need of baraat 147 147
17 The Islamic Mani. -===^^|e 148 148 148 148 149 150 150 150 150 151 151 16___________________ Some disadvantage 1 regard the custom of procession as unlawful How then may social contacts be retained Evidence from Shariah Applicable to the affluent also National sympathy Wedding procession is a combination of sins At the bride's home Better not to attend Evidence from Shariah The ulama and religious leaders must not attend CHAPTER FIFTEEN Some of the unlawful things during the wedding Dancing and singing Fire works Photography and filming Filming the ceremony Tambourine Singing songs Request to play music and sing songs Bands, drums and music If anyone does not heed CHAPTER SIXTEEN Marriage customs SECTION ONE What is a custom Custom and otherwise Two kinds of customs Customs, now and before Customs are sinful Evidence in Shariah of today's customs being evil Strong evidence Argments of those who favour customs Shariah stand SECTION TWO Evils of custom 153 153 153 154 154 155 156 156 156 157 157 159 159 159 159 159 159 159 ]60 161 162 163 164 164 164 The Islamic Marriage__________________ Burden of debt Wasteful expenditure Mawlana Muhammad Qasim's advice Waste is worse than miserliness 167 167 Marriage that lacks blessings Beneficial ways to. spend on a marriage SECTION THREE Pomp and show Pomp earns bad name Not well wishers A great loss They forget salah SECTION FOUR Borrowing for the wedding Extending loan for a marriage CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Women sticking to custom SECTION ONE Women are root of all customs Ills of women's gatherings Some ills resulting from women's assemblies Adornment 167 167 168 168 168 169 169 169 171 171 171 171 172 172 173 174 Serious mistake of women The Prophet's saying 174 How to keep women away from going out 174 Is there possibility of women going to functions 175 Lethargy of old women 176 SECTION TWO Men are to blame Accepted women as leaders Two people disallow observance of custom Complaint against men SECTION THREE How to eliminate customs Shariah's prescription 177 177 177 178 178 179 • 179 179
19 18____________ ____________________________ Disallow all customs at once He who oppose customs is a saint Those who abide by customs deserve curse All Muslims are responsible A request to women CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Different customs The Islamic Marriage ixo 180 180 181 181 183 183 183 SECTION ONE Closeting the would-be bride and rubbing oil on her body Rubbing the body Mixing with bridegrooms family Hiding the shoes Bride reading through the Quran Travel fare to members of the wedding procession Bride cannot alight until other women are paid Carrying the bride SECTION TWO Washing bride's feet New bride showing too much shyness Prison for a new bride Looking at the face Next day Sweetmeat and other things on every arrival Everyone does not forbid these customs CHAPTER NINETEEN A model marriage The need to follow the Prophet's example Marriage and sending off of Sayyidah Fatimah Departure at right time Easiest deed Simplicity The simplest way An excellent example Throwing money Guardian in a wedding 183 184 184 184 184 185 185 185 186 186 186 186 186 187 187 187 189 189 189 189 190 190 191 191 191 192 192 193 If had daughters CHAPTER TWENTY SECTION ONE After departure Brides modesty beyond limits Keeping aloof after marriage 195 195 195 195 196 SECTION TWO 196 The first night 196 Needless shyness 196 The ideals method 196 Joking and being playful 197 Man should disclose his love 197 Customs in Arabia and in India 197 Writing al-Ikhlas on wife's forehead 198 Supplications 198 Fajr salah on first night 198 Homeless women on the first night 199 An exemplar}' event 199 CHAPTER TWENTY ONE 201 The Walimah 201 The masnun walimah 201 The limits 201 The prophet's S example 201 Sayyidina Ali's Walimah 202 Use lawful earnings 202 Inviting others to avert bad name 202 An easy way 202 Unlawul walimah 203 The worst walimah 203 Not allowed participation 203 Not allowed to take extra guests along 204 The feast of an interest-taker or an innovator 205 If most is unlawful 206 When in doubt 206 Some guidelines 206 Accept poor man's invitation 207
20 The Placing a legal condition Arrange of the poor CHAPTER TWENTY TWO Having many wives SECTION ONE The motivating factor Another wisdom Wisdom for both in second marriage The need In the light of history Why only four wives Shari'ah has allowed more than one wife SECTION TWO Prohibition to have more than one wife When women would be unfair Only in the love of luxury Second wife not advised if not necessary SECTION THREE Difficulties in having many wives My experience Consequences of second marriage without valid reason Advice Who should take a second wife SECTION FOUR Let one be enough If the first has no child SECTION FIVE Necessary rulings As companions in journey A separate home SECTION SIX Method of living with two wives Pattern for the husband Pattern for the first wife 20? 20? 209 209 209 209 209 210 210 210 211 211 212 212 212 212 213 213 2H 215 215 215 215 215 216 216 217 211 jjS The Islamic Marriage Pattern for the new wife CHAPTER TWENTY THREE Injunctions about private relationship SECTION ONE There is reward on approaching one's wife What should be his intention Approaching the wife How much of one another may they see Forbidden to think of another woman Prayers and zikr Prescribed prayers No limit is saintly Neither harm nor against taqwa The Prophet's sahabah’s life Consideration of health is essential Observatant Harmful effects Imam Ghazali's Utaniwj saying Limits to sexual intercourse with wife 213 Interval in days 213 Harmful effects of medicine Practice moderation Diseases Guidelines When it is necessary to have cohabitation Guidelines for women SECTION TWO when she menstruates Limits during her menses Different ruling Expiation Kaffarah Ruling Intercourse during istihadah Approaching during post child birth bleeding First child and nifas lasts for thirty days 21 220 221 221 221 221 221 221 222 223 223 223 224 224 225 226 226 226 227 227 227 227 228 228 228 229 229 230 230 230 231 232 232 232 232 232 233
22 The Islamic . 23? Oeverpowering desire while wife has menses SECTION THREE Care when wife is pregnant Only from medical point of view Having intercourse with woman who suckles Preventing pregnancy Abortion 233 233 234 234 234 234 SECTION FOUR 235 Homo sexuality and the unnatural act 235 Unnatural sex with one's own wife 236 23 The Islamic Marriage Disliked to clip nails and cut hair before bath 247 If there is likelihood of getting sick from water 248 While trvelling 249 SECTION-FIVE 249 Shari'ah's command on leukorrhea 249 Summary 250 Who is the handicapped and excude 250 Glossary 253 CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR Purification SECTION-ONE Why no sexual intercourse with menstruating woman and why bath after impurity Wisdom in bath after discharge of semen Secret of bath after sexual intercourse Other benefits SECTION-TWO Bathing place and condition The masnun method of bath Zikr or prayer Conversing during bath Washing of visible portion is enough Need not untie hair Some etiquettes SECTION-THREE When bath becomes wajib Some important rulings When bath is not fard Ruling on ihtilam Very thin mazi or mani SECTION-FOUR Injunctions for those on whom bath is fard Summary of injunctions 237 231 231 231 231 23! 235 23! 23! 23! 240 24! 240 241 241 2J- 241 J4: J41 J41 2* lit
FOREWORD All people of the world irrespective of their religion and sex do face the question of marriage in their lives. It is this issue that causes worry to everyone today whether he is poor or rich man or woman. This is the most worrying aspect of human life. While the poor are crushed under the burden, the rich too are not much better off. However. Islam has described marriage as the simplest of deeds. The Prophet and the Saliabah showed us how simple it is with their practical example. But, today, it is the most difficult affair. While marriage is a happy occasion, today it has become a sad problem. How many young girls have committed suicide! And how many parents lose their temper when a girl is borne to them! How many men have divorced their wives for that reason! Birth of a girl in these times is a trial and a calamity! And when any of them is given the glad tidings of (birth of) a female, his face becomes darkened and lie is wroth inwardly.'(16 58) Today, we are facing nearly the same situation that the disbelievers had faced before the rise of Islam. Today's marriage destroys families. Choosing a spouse, setting a standard for that, preparing dowry for the daughter, pleasing different people, entertaining them, observing difficult customs and pouring money over that liberally • these are essential to every marriage today. The poor have no means to do that but even die affluent are not without worry, the only reason for this predicament is that we ignore and throw away the guidance of Islam and the leaching of Shari'ah in this regard and overlook the example of the Prophet 0> and the Sahabah .
26 The Islamic Marnaj and Sahabiyat No one ever looks at the Islam, directive for marriage and how the Prophet conducie. himself. Once the religion is perfected: and it is not mere! concerned with worship but also encompasses dealings an: social behaviour, how can a religious minded Muslim ignort its directives? Religion is not simply to observe salah at; fasting, rather marriage, too, is a form of worship andi religious affair. The Prophet practice has to be emulated: conducting weddings too. 27 pie Islamic Marriage ______________________________________ May Allah approve this selection and make it a means of reforming and guidance of the Ummah. Aameen! (Mufti) Muhamad Zayd Muzahari Madani Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern (of conduct) <33 : 21 > Today, everyone is worried because they have given it that excellent pattern and replaced shari'ah with innovate customs and practices. As a result we had forsaken our religia and have even destroyed our worldly affairs. The Ulama have written many books on this subject. Th. collection, The Islamic Marriage, throws detailed intelliges light on every aspect of marriage. You will find an in-dep: discussion on marriage, its benefits, Islamic injunction choosing spouses, the grooms party, dowry, custom.1 walimah, and almost every other connected matter. Th collection is actually a selection from Mawlana Thanawr saying, sermons and writing. J have taken great pains to seard and compile them. 1 have hope in Allah that he w ill make th selection the most comprehensive and beneficial on th' subject, and whosoever observes this mode of conduct marriage will, Insha Allah, find peace in this life and £f reward in the next. Even non-Muslims will gain peace in this life if they abi^ by this book. This book must be introduced to every one af- every home. It must be translated into different language Insha Allah that will give much benefit.
CHAPTER ONE SECTION ONE SOME AHADITH CONCERNING IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE 1. Sayyidina Abu Najib reported that Allah's Messenger said, "When one of you possesses the means to marry but does not marry then he has nothing to do with me." (Targheeb) 2. Sayyidina Anas reported the saying of Allah’s Messenger 5?, "When a person marries, he ar she perfects half of the religion. Now, he must fear Allah in (the remaining) half religion." (Targheeb) 3. Sayyidina Abdullah ibn Masud reported that Allah’s Messenger said, "O group of young men! Whoso among you can support a family must marry because marriage is very effective in lowering the gaze and it preserves them from immorality. For him who does not have the means, he must choose to keep fasts, for, the fast is for him like suppressing sexual desire." ----- iMishkai) tlnidad ul Falawa v2 p 258) BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE FROM POINT OF VIEW OF RELIGION AND HEREAFTER 4. Ibn Abu Najib «-* i' reported that Allah's Messenger said. He is needy! Needy! The man who has no wife." He was asked, "Even if he is very rich?” He said, "Yes, even if he has much wealth. And she is needy, needy! The woman who has no husband. He was asked, "Even if she is wealthy?" He said, "Yes, even if she is wealthy." (Razin) This is because neither of them has comfort and peace which is the objective of wealth. In marriage there is much benefit in religious and worldly life. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p 187)
31 The Islamic Marrj. 30 _____________________ ___ • A married person is safe from sin add bi- at Most of all. he also gains reward because ifa us an *if{ sit together and exchange conversation in an atmosP ere o[ love, and they joke together then that is better than offerj^ optional salah. Zewar 5. Sayyidah Ayshah ii narrated that the Prophet s said, "Marry women! They will bring you wealth." (Bo. COMMENTS When both husband and wife are intelligent and well wishers of one another, the husband will realise that bn responsibilities have multiplied and will work harder while bn wife will make arrangements that he cannot do to relieve he of worry and give him comfort. This is tantamount to bring® wealth. (Hayat ul Muslimeen) || 6. Sayyidian M‘aqil ibn Yasar a . repOrted that ihe ■ Prophet & said, "Marry- women who are prolific, for. I W will take pride in your larger numbers over other people.’ F’ Doh oo/. Nasal. Haya! ul Muslin" WARNING ON NOT MARRYING 7. Sayyidina Abu Zarr reported in a lengthy Hade that Allah's Messenger & asked Akkaf " Areva married?" He said, "No!" The Prophet said, "And ya are a man of means, wealthy?" He confirmed that he uas The Prophet & said, "In that case, you are among the devil's brethren. If you were of the Christian then ya could have been their monk." "Indeed, to marry is to follow our path. The worst ofw are those who do not marry. The worst of those who die. die before they marry. Do you lean towards the devil? The dev. has no better weapon than women to entrap the righteous. B1 - those who have married are very pure and safe trv. indecency. 0 Akkaf, woe to you! Get yourself marr- otherwise you will stay- behind. "(Ahmed - Imdad ul Fau»a-»- p- The Islamic Marriage MARRIAGE IS A FORM OF WORSHIP If Shari ah enjoins anything, or encourages one to do it or promises reward thereon, then that is religion. If anything lacks these things then that is a worldly affair. On this basis, marriage is a religious affair because Shari'ah has emphasised upon it under certain circumstances and encouraged it in others and observed reward for that, and has criticised abstinence from it. This is why the classifications of marriage created by the jurist do not have but all classes as binding and superior than voluntary worship though in some cases they may be undesirable because ofsome hindrance. (ibid) SECTION TWO .MARRIAGE IS A DEALING BIT NOT A WORLDLY AFFAIR Fasting is undoubtedly a religious matter. In certain circumstances, it calls for punishment too of which the usulis (fundamentalists) have explained in the last of expiation. Nevertheless, there is no touch of the world in it. Similarly, if marriage is a deal then too how can it be said to be worldly? Rather, punishment is more distant to worship than a deal is. So-when punishment coupled with worship could not make it worldly than how will dealings coupled with worship make it worldly? iMid ul Fau*a p268i OBJECTIVES AND BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE Allah has said in the Qur'an: »zz /zz£ > that you nw^f I°U SP°U5eS from amon£ y°urse'vCS ' >ou may find repose in them , ,,, , He said:
32 The Islamic Man,,. 1.JC Your wives are a tillage for you. (2: 223) 1. A wife gives peace and comfort and shares her husbanc problems. Man is instinctively inclined to friendship m love and a wife is ideal for that. Woman is a unique creation. She is responsible to deliv children and look after the house. She is a great supports shows mercy to her. She guards your property and childrt and your honour in your absence. 2. Man is naturally inclined to sex. Nature has placedL satisfaction in his wife. Allah has said that she is a tillc for her husband where he may sow his seed. Just asm has to attend to his fields, so too a husband has to attend her, and he may find satisfaction in her. 3. The desire man and woman have for one another is hum instinct which they attain through marriage. That grot true love and pure thoughts. But if it is satisfied throne unlawful ways, it takes man to impurity and evil though Thus, marriage is a means of taking man to purity & away from impurity. (Al-Masalih al Aqliyah pl92> INTENTION BEHIND MARRIAGE 4. We know from the Qur'an that marriage promotes chase righteousness, health and lineage. The main aim marriage is what Allah has mentioned the Qur'an. "Mi" that you may be righteous and pray that you have pu1- children. In wedlock and not in licence (4 : 24) 5. And he said: The Islamic Marriage 33 6. When he marries, a man binds himself and works hard to earn a livelihood for himself. He shirks from doing unnecessary work. The qualities of love, modesty, and faithfulness are found in him and he lives a very simple life shunning extravagance. He thus is protected from many diseases. 7. Marriage is good for health. It gives peace and comfort. It is pleasing and improves life in both worlds. 8. There is nothing better than marriage for a better culturous life. It is the root of patriotism. If this were not introduced among men, life would have been lonely and there would not have been homes and gardens nor signs of a people. (Al-Masalih al Aqliyah). WISDOM BEHIND MARRIAGE If a person is not afforded a proper means to satisfy' sexual impulse then there would be corruption and shamelessness because he or she will seek satisfaction from every available means. This is why Shari'ah has proposed marriage, and it shows that Shari'ah is more well-wishing than intelligence which could never tolerate the meeting of two complete strangers in an intimate relationship. But if intelligence was obeyed then there would have been mischief all round, for, there would have followed innumerable intimate relationships. Men and women would have given up patience and thrown aside caution. This is why Shari'ah proposed marriage and this is the sign of the religion being heavenly, for it has its eyes on consequences. (Huquq uz Za»jayu/i) Thus intelligence regards modesty marriage as immodest. But the Propher & prescribed marriage to protect modesty. If it is given up once then all humanity will become shameless. (Huquq uz Zawjayn) ISLAMIC COMMAND According to the Hadith: Seek what Allah has prescribed for you (2: 187)
The Islamic Martig 35 "He who has the means must marry because it protects the eyesight and chastity." It is a strong possibility that chastity is available easily to a sound disposition through marriage. We do not talk of evil dispositions who do not get chastity after a marriage or evtt after four marriages and even after Mutah and adultery. % talk of human beings, not of animals and monkeys, (ibid) OBJECTIVES The Islamic Marriage your large numbers." (Ibid) OTHER ADVANTAGES lust as dress is an adornment for men and women, so too man and woman are adornments for one another. If a mamed man requests for a debt, he will get U because he is not alone and cannot run away, but a single man is not trusted. People are not apprehensive of a married man having evil intentions on their wives and daughters. But they do not trust an unmarried man. And of His sign is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves that you may find repose in them. And He has put love and mercy between L you.(30:21) F In short, women are created that your hearts may fiK peace through them. I say that youth is the time of love win both have strong emotion and old age is the time o: compassion. In old age none besides a wife can be of help. (Nasratun Nisa. Huquq uz Za^i NOT MERELY EATING The foolish say that marriage is merely to eat and drink !' that was so then the rich u'ould abstain from marriage, b even daughters of kings do marry. Thus, there are otte objectives of marriage. The biggest objective of marriage is to procreate. Tb Prophet & said; "Marry such woman as is prolific and more lovable because on the~Day of Resurrection, I w ill take pride in Similarly, a married woman is more respected than an unmarried woman who is more prone to blame. (Rata al lltibas p-45). DISADVANTAGES OF AN UNMARRIED LIFE Thus, when marriage is like a garment then to stay unmarried is to remain naked. Thus, one may say that unmarried life is defective if the concerned have the ability marrv. (Haquq az Zawjayn) . per® needs 1» man) ye. does no. dwn ta. would would lack savour and interest. Some people give in to temptation and go to women. Others who protect their outward sanctity keep away from women but fall prey to young boys, which is a greater mischief because women are, after all, allowed in marriage while homosexuality is absolutely unlaw ful. Some people are safe from illegal sex but fall into (he introductory doings like kissing, caressing, and so on. They bracket such doings with elderly compassion. We seek refuge "> Allah from mischief, the apparent and the hidden. Uriah Inqtlab, p-41). Some people do not marry although they have a need to it the XabJtht0 SUPP°n' Some refrain l0l2,ly *nd some
The Islamic Marriage 36 MARRIAGE WHEN NINETY YEARS OLD A rpan in Shahjahanpur married at the age of ninety years. His sons, daughters and daughters-in-law demurred and asked him, "Why do you need to marry when we are here to sene you? He said, "You do not understand. None can comfort as a wife may." Suddenly, he fell ill. He had acute dysentery and a pungent, unbearable odour surrounded him. His home was filled with the stench. None of his sons and daughters came near to him. They detested him and deserted him to stay apan from him. Only his wife served him in this plight though she was a newly-wed and young. She made him sit while he relieved himself, washed and cleaned him and washed his garments too though this happened twenty to twenty-five times a day. She then made him lie down. The old man said, "Thisis why I had married." When he recovered, he sent for his children and said, "Did you see how' you served me? If I has J not married, I would have rotted in the stench." Indeed, daughters and daughters-in-law cannot nurse a sick father as a wife can. Allah has placed this comfort only in th: husband-wife relationship. This is the worldly comfort fromt wife. (Al-Tabligh, v-3 p-146) ANOTHER CASE A Man who married was weak and managed with tonics. A physician prescribed a heavy dose that had counter - indication* in the shape of leprosy. Everyone stayed away from him, bJ his wife served him loyally. What a sacrifice and love! does the husband value her for that? (Haquq uz Zawjayn, pp-161. 552, Al-lfadat Yowmiyahp--' MAWALANA FADLUR RAHMAN MARRIED WHEN ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD When his first wife died, Mawlana Fadlur Rahman married at the last stages of his life at the age 100 y^ He was incapacitated with ulcer and only a wife could attend1' him. The kind woman took care of him with a smiling The Islamic Marriage______________________________________ 37 She cleaned his wound many times during the day and night. (ibid p-533, Al-Tabligh v-4 p-147) HAJI SAHIB's SECOND MARRIAGE IN OLD AGE The respected Haji Sahib it took a second wife in his old age because his respected first wife became sightless. He married that his new wife might look after him. Indeed, she served him and her co-wife too. These cases show that a wife is not taken merely to satisfy the sexual urge but there are other reasons too. (Nusrai un Nisa, p-553). WARNING TO THE UNMARRIED According to a Hadith. u- y (If anyone who has the urge and the ability to support does not marry then he is not on our path). For, he walks on the path of the Christians who regard marriage as a hindrance to the approach to Allah, and abstain from it. They consider celibacy as an act of worship. (Malfuzai Ashraliyah, p-386) Those who regard a life of celibacy as worship actually have a monk s belief and create an innovation in religion. Shari'ah's command to marry is the real thing and to neglect it is not worship. (blah lnqitab v-2 p-40) WHY THE W ARNING When it becomes necessary to wed. neglect may cause much mischief because there may be a severe urge or an absolute urge which cannot be suppressed even after taking medicine for it. There was a seventy year old man who loved a young boy. He was a spent force but he had an urge to look at the boy with sexual inclinations which is surely forbidden. A mujahidah (a strenuous exercise for that) cannot eliminate the urge. In fact, it cannot be removed by old age, medicine or reduction in diet. Only mujahidah can bring it down to a low level so that it becomes easier to control. If the urge is totally eliminated, how can there be a reward for that? One gets reward for fighting the urge and engaging in pious work steadfastly. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-158)
39 38 rhe Islamic Marriage The Islamic Marriage EXCUSES FOR NOT MARRYING If anyone has an excuse (because of which he cannoi marry) then he does not come under the purview of the above mentioned Hadith. The excuse may be physical or monetary Or, it may be a valid religious excuse. The former kind is obvious while the latter is reflected in weakness after marriage so that he cannot attend to religious duties properly. (Or. he may not be able to give rights of his wife because of his occupation in religious duties). (Al-Malfuzat Ashrafiyah. p-386) If a man would be unable to give rights of his wife whether it is physical or monitory then it is forbidden for him to mam (Islah Inqilab. pAO AHADITH ON THE EXCUSES Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah -i' reported that Allah's Messenger said, "A time will come for the people when 2 man's destruction will be at the hands of his wife, parentsand children. They will rebuke him on his poverty and 1 helplessness, and will demand such things as he cannot provide. So, he will do such things as will harm his religion and he will be destroyed." According to Abu Saeed, a man brought his daughter toile Prophet and said that she refused to marry anyone. He said to her, "Obey your father (concerning marriage)." She said- "By Him who has sent you with die true religion, I will nd marry till you tell me the rights of a husband over his wife The Prophet mentioned them and she submitted, " B) Allah, I will never marry!" He said, "(When women ha'e authority of Shari'ah), do not marry them without the*1 permission." The first Hadith mentions the excuse for men and d1' second mentions women's excuse<or not marrying. She not be able to give him his rights, so the Prophet Sa exc#5^ her. Similarly, if a widow' fears that her children might be F' in jeopardy if she marries another man then according10' Hadith she too is excused. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p-132) SECTION THREE THE JURISTIC COMMAND WAJIB (OBLIGATORY) When there is an impulsive urge and sufficient means are available even so that he can support on a day-to-day basis then it is wajib (obligatory) for him to marry. Neglect will be sinful. FARD (.ABSOLUTE OBLIGATORY) And if he has the means and an unrepulsive urge that might plunge him into unlawful sex then it is fard (an absolute obligation) to marry. jfaji fiyji j (Unlawful sex includes the forbidden glance and masturbation). Ml'SNUN (RECOMMENDED) If it is not necessary and the means are available then it is sunnah to marry. FORBIDDEN However, if he is not likely to give the rights of a wife then though he may have the urge and the means, it is certainly disallowed for him to marry. DIFFERENT CONDITIONS If he has the urge but not the means then there are different opinions about that, but I prefer the ruling that it is wajib. He can work hard to earn a livelihood or borrow money with a firm resolve to repay and try his best to do it. If he fails to repay in spile of his effort then Allah might induce the creditor to forgive him because he had married to protect his religion. However, it is not allowed to borrow' for unnecessary reasons. He is allowed to borrow only to provide sustenance and to pay the dower if it is a prompt dower. (Islah Inqilab v2pp-39-40)
40 WHAT SHOULD A POOR MAN DO The Islamic Marri^ A man came to me. He had a tremendous sexual urgelo marry but he was poor and had no means to marry. He sough- a remedy. Before I could say anything, a man (an Ahl Hadithi said. "Keep fasts, here is a Hadith that prescribes it." The mar protested. "I have observed fasts too but that did not help■ The other man had no answer. I asked him. "How many fasts did you keep?" I made s® that the other should hear us. He said. I kept two fasts." 1 said. "This is why you did not succeed because you should fast for many days and this is what the Hadith says. (fj-aJida suggesting compulsion through (ala). Compulsion is oft»t kinds, in belief and in practice. Here, it cannot be the form:: kind, for fasting itself is not fard but a remedy. Itisi compulsory practice which has to be often repeated. Thus, if anyone does something again and again, and abundantly thent is understood that he has bound himself to it. Thus, the Prophet ££ meant that he should keep many fasts." It is known fro: experience that a few fasts are not enough to curb the aninu instinct. This is why worshippers do not feel weak in the ear? days of Ramadhan but become feeble towards the end of tht month. Thus, the animal instinct does not subside in earl) Ramadhan but becomes stronger, on the contrary; gradually.t the days wear off, it becomes weaker. By that time there ha« been plenty of fasts. (Al-lfadat al-Yawneiyah, -9p-165. -10p-lM IS A FATHER RESPONSIBLE AND DOES NE COMMIT SIN Bl DELAYING HIS CHILDEN'S MARRIAGE? Question: is there a firm command to marry daughters oh Is it sinful to delay their marriage? If so, how much? Givey® answer in the light of the Qur'an and Hadith. Answer: The command is stressed in the Qur'an and also found in the Ahadith in a general way and both sons daughters are included, also it applies to daughters particularly IWslam^Marriage^_^__=______^_________2£ And wed the'spouseless among you..... (24-32) (to the end of the vers) The spouseless may be a virgin or a widow, an unmarried man or a widower. As for ahadith, we find in Miskkat in the chapter observing Salah early in its period. } CJl Ijl jjLJi la/jJ 11 b JU ^Ji jl (jJbjdi Jljj) Ij-sS" LjJ Ijl ..if Ijl 1. The Prophet & Said. "0 Ali! There are three things that you must not postponerSalah when its time comes, a funeral when it is ready, and the marriage of a spouseless boy or girl when a suitable match is found.” (Tinmzn j 'aJj J aJj Jyjj Jia Jd uh Uid US’ >>Ud j jd v-jy~d«—b ijli ajji 2. The Prophet & said, "One who has children must give them a good name, impart them teaching and training and w hen they are of age marry them off. If he does not marry them off and they commit a sin then the sin will be on the father. ’ wA*Mj J1* & Jx)j* ♦hi uh j l- ^ji 4iyi cut 6M1 vjC jl Jj) jU’j 3. The Prophet & said, It was written in the Torah that if anyone's daughter turns twelve years of age and he did not marry her off and she committed a sin then the sin will te on her father.”
The Islamic £ These narrations are evidence ol the emphasis Negk an emphasised command attracts punishment. The concludj Khadidi disclose the size of the sin. The father will earnr according to the nature of his children's sin. (Imdad al Fatawap-h CHAPTER TWO CONCERNING A WIFE SECTION ONE VIRTUES OF A WIFE Allah has made marriage such a relationship that no one other than a wife can make a man’s life comfortable. Sometimes, all relatives display contempt in illness but a wife will never desert her husband. She is the most comforting to het husband in his illness. (at-Tabligh, v-14 p-146) THE BEST FRIEND There can, never be a greater friend in the world than a wife In time of poverty and hardship, all show their backs, even parents, but a wife always stays by the side of her husband. The same is experienced in illness. So, there is no friend of man like his wife in the world. (Huquq ul Bayt, p-22) IMPORTANCE OF WOMEN AND VALUING THEIR SUPPORT Women have a particular effect through their service. They sene like slaves. If they serve after realising their greatness then they would go to great heights. Indeed, men are dependent on them, otherwise, men would know how they stand. The Prophet $ said, ’Three things are dear to me: (women, scent and miwak (toothbrush of twig)." Their doings and personality are worth considering. The Prophet's & liking them was not out of lust. (Malhuzat Jadid Malfuzat, p-28). WIFE IS A GREAT BENEFACTOR Women have a right because they are helpless and another right because they are friendly to their husband. We have seen
44 The Islamic Mam* that the right of a friend is greater A xxife is cMcemable because she helps protect religion at ex 11 thoughts Thus, she is a great benefactor. The religio minded xalue her fax our and she must be given esteem and hr nghts must be given to her. for. she has some characterise each <xf which has many rights. (Al-Tabligh v-14. p-14). 149) WAFES SACRIFICE 45 No matter xxhat kind of a xvife she is. slovenly or rude , sb has left her parents and family for you. She has only your sight, only her husband to count on. So, human natun demands that such a faithful one should not be hurt. (ibidpTi Thus, if her husband has a dispute with her patentin' other relatives. she generally sides with her husband In spit of that some husbands commit excess on them. They treat then worse than slaves and some do not even give them food air Clothing. (Majalis Hakim ul Ummah p-112, Al Tabligh -14p-14 FAX OURS OF WOMEN I sax that if a wife does not work at home but merely supervises and administers the working then this is enough for. such a work fetches large salary in the world. At administrator is given great respect. Look at a viceroy H< does nothing. He has an army' of servants at his command wh' are answerable to him, and because of his responsibility, ht earns a large salary and respect. Wives too have a simile position dial cannot be compensated with merely provision. B> we see noble daughters doing household chores w ith their o" hands. They raise children with devotion. The paid nurse cK never equal a wife in such work. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-149) A Mawlawi (religious leader) used to say that it is for women to cook food. But, I do not agree with him and1 take my cue from this verse <30.21) Thf klMWC Marriage .reaied to please you not to cook for you. (ibid p-551) MISMANAGEMENT WITHOUT WIFE A house cannot be managed properly without a wife. Man s work is only to eam a living and only women can give the home life. There are many rich men who had not married, so their homes were in bad shape. One may employ cooks and servants, but he cannot get the comfort which evades him without a wife. A paid cook can walk out suddenly and he will have no sympathy for his master while a wife will never leave her husband in the lurch. Besides, servants will work more efficiently if a wife is there The nannys and other servants will not pilfer much when a woman supervises over them, but without her the house will be in doldrums. However, if a man has some experience of household chores then the servants are more organised but not as much as a woman would disciplined them. (At Tabligh, v-14 p-148) Indeed, your wives work for you against the maintenance you provide them, but no servant would work as much if he were given a like amount in salary. Some unmarried people who had employed servants spent much of their salary in housekeeping which came down when they married. (Haquq uz Zawjayn, p-149) SECTION TWO MERIT OF A VILLAGE WOMAN The women of villages are ill -mannered and dumb and unskilled. But their good quality is that they are not cunning or fraudulent, and they are very chaste and pure. (Malfuzat Khabrat v-3p-35) The Qur'an speaks of the merits of women olojJi cOtiuJi (naive and believing women)1. This means that unawareness of outside affairs is the distinction of women. The verse could also mean unawareness of indecency, not total lack of knowledge. But, though this quality is also desired in men, yet (Already translated, sec-2 chap-1). Thus, women
47 40 I hr Islamic Mam* ii >«. expressed her. in praise of women, not men. This shorn ih«t vxal ibvnv c ot know ledge too is more suitable in women The unworthy then dare to advocate giving up of the veil in the name ot advance and progress. Amazing waste matter lies tn their minds' kW-IMAh al i’anmivah v-J p-141). b she possesses all kinds of skill but lacks modesty then she is everything but a woman. This is a necessary quality for marriage Here excellences are meaningless if she is immodest (Islah Inqilab. p-41> Indeed, most women of India are such as know no more of the world than their own corner. This is their greatness that fits the description that Allah has made in verse: Vcrae they keep themselves in bad shape, unadorned and do ■ 'i know the art of moving about and conversation or of 1 v>king after children, but just one trait, chastity, overshadows all these shortcomings. I am much satisfied with such women. They are not pretenders and this is a gem which we must valued INusratun Nisa) It is my experience that the woman who lacks skill of management is chaste. If anyone is worried about such a woman then he must recall this gem of quality in her so that his heart will be at peace. This is what the Qur'an teaches. The chaste, naive, believing women o Then it is quiet likely that you dislike something and Allah has placed in it a lot of good. (4 : 19) (Majalis Hakim ul Ummat, p-11) Since Allah praises women's innocence and unawareness, so indeed that is good. But there is no good in what you propose. Experience will disclose it. The women of India do I have the qualities the Qur'an prescribes for women. (Huquq ul Bayt, p-44 EXCELLENCE OF ILL-MANNERED BAD SKILLED WOMEN Someone lamented that lack of skill in some women buns their husbands at times. Their dumbness is an excellence dial is very dear and esteemed because it grows in them chastity Unchaste women are always occupied in their make-up outward show and neatness. Similarly, some women are rude and quick-tempered, bull do not doubt their chastity in the least. Unchaste women keep tliemselves sweet and polished and have an outward civilised approach. This is dangerous. They are cunning and the) conceal their mischief as a cat hides her excretion and the) deceive man. I am not pleased with such women. As for 0* unskilled women, one may find their dumbness disagreeabk OLD WIFE WORTH ESTEEM Some people despise an old wife though they themselves have worn her out. Mawlana Fadi ur Rehman said, "An old wife becomes a nanny. In the beginning, she is sweet and pleasing but it is in the end that the advantages multiply, for, she is affable and helpful. These are more worthy benefits than pleasure. I always say that youth is the time to love when both parties are emotional while old age is the time to show compassion. Indeed, no one but a wife is helpful in old age. The wife of Mawlana Muhammad Mazhar teacher at Madrasah Mazahir ul Uloom had grown old, but he was so devoted to her that when she had minor ailments too, he would take leave from the Madrasah to nurse her with his own hands. He did not leave that to the maid servants. lal-Tabligh v-14, p-142, Huquq uz Zawjayn pp-355 and 550). A STORY There was a rich man from England. He was influential in government circles. His wife died and the Collector paid him a visit to condole with him. The rich man commented in broken
49 The Islamic Man®, ii ■ - - “ Vrdu. She was not mx wife Indeed, she was my anima y led me !xv food. and she aimed me in summer and gaven, cool water to dunk He wept while he said that. This was a European, not much educated. He soke soof ot simplicity But 1 read w ith my own eyes the statement of, HunJu leader. "She is not my wife but my mother.' educated man said that. This is not something to boast abw. However. 1 do say that only a w'ife is helpful in old age. (Nusratun Nisa ■ Malfuz, pty SECTION THREE MERITS OF INDIAN WOMEN LOVE HUSBANDS 1 always say that Indian women are angles, not in beau? but tn manners. They have many merits. (at-Tabligh, p-51) They are maids of Paradise who are described as (lovers of their husbands). They endure the hardshr men cause them otherwise there would be divorces everyday! happens elsewhere. The Arabs are the foremost in this regard.' I found a twenty one year old girl who had married the sevens ume. There, women do not hesitate to approach the judge J flimsy grounds who is always sympathetic to women to divot® her. In India, however, no woman tolerates divorce, but if at is concerned into seeking divorce then she is not happy ah' it For instance, a woman in Kanpur filed a suit against K husband and the judge upheld her plea and ordered the husba> to divorce her. Though she had requested it, yet she hysterically on being divorced, crying, "I have perished (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-150) Indeed, love of their husband runs in the veins of ln^ women CHASTITY Their greatest quality of chastity calls to mind the vet* The h’.vmc Mamage the Qur'an. Wherein are maidens of restraining glances whom neither men will have touched before them nor jinn. (55 : 56) Indeed. Indian women surpass all other women in these characteristics. Some men are ugly, but their wives do not cast a look at anyone else. They keep themselves within their homes, but even those Indian women who go out of homes are often pure and chaste. They lower their gaze and veil themselves and do not even greet anyone on the way. They are modest before men but also before female strangers and old women. They do not generally answer a man, but, if they have to. then they merely answer in gestures. They are also chaste who go out of their homes. Perhaps a rare one who is astray may be ignored; such a one is disowned by other women. 1 do say that perhaps, one in a hundred men would keep his gaze low but only are in a hundred women would be immodest. (at-Tabligh v-1 p-52, v-14 p-139) The Indian women are not inclined to any man besides their husbands and some of them never get the temptation for another man all their lives. If they learn of any man thinking of them then they detest him very much. In Europe, it is the converse, women are very kind to one who pay them attention. The Indian woman's love for her husband is peculiar to the land of India and the Hindu rite of satti stems from it. When a Hindu husband dies, his widow bums herself at his pyre. India’s culture is a woman’s love for her husband; Arabia's peculiarity is a husband's inclination for his wife. But the worst thing is found in Persia where a man is attracted to another man. (Huquq UZ Zawjayn, p-151) PATIENCE Women are normally so helpless that they do not complain
1 lu- Islamic Main*, 30 anx.nc I > > n if bet parents are alive, the noble woman d> «.t>inplaii« Aidin'.! her husband. (at-Tabligh, v-14. p I39> I he lnd>an women are not like Arab women who go t, voutts tor ! ;;le things The Indian women tremble at th; ihough ot courts Even if they are put to death, they will notg, to <oi;n They might talk among themselv’es as is their habit but thev will not approach the authorities. Of course, we wif find an occasional one now and then, but, most of them don<> take recourse to law . «« Tabligh. v-7 p-56) 51 SFLf SATISFACTION Those Arab women or Indian women of princely state who approach the courts get their husbands to apportion then allow ances or divorce them. In the latter case, they hasten to claim their dower. In some countries, the dower is paid on marriage promptly It is only the Indian women who forgive the dowtt and endure without a regular maintenance allowance. (ibid, v-14 p-141 In Arabia, women demand their dowry from their husband' by coercion but this is considered very bad in India. The Indian women do not bring the name dower on their tongues, and the' forgive it when their husbands die. (ibid, v-7 p-51). If a guest arrives suddenly, they would not let the prestige f their husbands suffer. They would offer whatever they have to the guest These manners raise ranks, but most men lack them (a Tahhgh. v-3 p-54) faithfelness The Indian women outclass all other women. Once they marry , they attach themselves to their husbands to the extent of preferring them over their own parents. They generally take the side of their husbands. If a husband is poor, his wife will toil hard and earn to feed her husband. The Indian woman willingly waits for her husband even if he goes missing for fifty years. When he returns, he will find his wife exactly as he had left her. (at Tabligh v-3 p-59) As we have stated, even it they have to seek divorce because of extreme cruelty by their husband, they would weep and lament on getting it. This is very worthwhile among women that they love their husbands. Then, does this behaviour call for mistreating them? Or, that they should be separated? THOUGHT FOR HUSBAND Thus, Indian women are free of defect. They have main merits. They are so devoted to their husbands that they w quarrel with their husband, cry and argue but only so long * they have nothing to do. But, the moment a husband is ups*1 they become submissive. Immediately, they will give up everything personal and serve him unflinchingly not carryii'i for their own food and drink and sleep. They throw themself to serve him. In every day life loo, they behave with the same selfie spirit No woman would eat her meal before her husband tk* And she gives him the best food.
CHAPTER THREE CONCEDING WIDOWS ' MARRIAGE OF WIDOW It is because of ignorance that people look down upon a uidou marrying again. In fact, some people are so savage that if a fiance dies, his fiancee will remain unmarried all her wife. As for a widow, she generally has to give up thought of a second marriage whether she is a child, a teenager or older (han that. Though some people might have learnt from listening to scholars that there is nothing wrong in it, yet they do not pay attention to remarrying a girl who is windowed. (Istah Inqilab, v-2 p-32). CUSTOM OF JAHILIYAH This custom was found among the Arabs too. When a man died, his widow was not allowed to remarry so that his wealth remained in his name. The same custom prevails in India so that the dead man's assets are not divided. 0 men! You have to correct it. Do remove this custom of jahiliyah (Ignorance of re-Islamic days). (Udal al-Jahiliyah, Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-348) WIDOW MARRIAGE FARD Under certain circumstances, a second marriage is also fard (absolute obligatory) like the first. For instance, the widow might be young and could have the emotions and, if she does not marry then she might commit sin; or, she might need someone to support her. Poverty might compel her to wrong-doing. (Islah ur Rusum, p-104) WlDOW'S MARRIAGE MORE NECESSARY THAN A VIRGIN'S If we look at it carefully, a widow's marriage is more
The Islamic Matn»p 55 ncvc'.van than her first marriage The first time, she probahi iXilt had the knots ledge, but he second time, she also has the evnenense As a result, she is more likely to get temptation and desire1- UsM p-32). A unxht M I OS MORE ATTENTION The masses imagine that an unmarried girl needs more attention than a married one. This thought originates from the Hindus They argue that a virgin would bring bad name it she does wrong, but a married woman is protected by her mamage When a person forsakes religion, he also parts with his intelligence If we use our sense, we will see that an unmarried does not need so much protection because she is naturally shy and lias an instinctive protection. As for the married woman her shyness disappears and there is no protective bar before her. so, she needs a strong watching eye to protect het chastity Also, the unmarried has a greater fear of disgrace while the married has no fear; hence, she is more inclined io wrong-doing than the unmarried. She needs a greater watch but people have converse ideas today because they do not care if chastity is maintained. They care only to avoid disgrace andi bad name. (Udal al Jahiliyah p-368) THE EVILS OF A WIDOW NOT MARRYING Many people still let the widow live a lonely lift Sometimes, she even has not enough to subsist upon. If & observes the customary decorum then she will not work toeart a living and if she resigns to do that then she might have toll'* in the house where she works where evil men might havet'1 designs on her. They will tempt her with money or coerce I'1 ' into submission. (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-32) MARRY OFF A WINDOW EVEN IF SHE IS UNWILLING A widow might refuse to marry at once because she people might blame her as too eager to marry. She muSl asked judiciously and told of the wisdom in marrying 3-J Her fears must be set at rest and the pros and cons must be brought to her notice. If even then she does not consent, you are excused (Islah Inqilab p-32) SO HARM IF AN OLD WIDOW WITH CHILDREN DOES NOT MARRY However, if a widow has children and she is of an adsanced age and affluent then her refusal is enough provided she does not seem to be inclined to emotion, (ibid v-2 p-32) PRESS! RE OF IN-LAWS Some Muslims compel a widow’ to regard her in-laws as deciders of her fate, not her own parents and not she herself. Neither can her parents arrange her marriage with someone nor can she marry at her will. Rather, her in-laws have a right to many her where they choose, say, with her dead husband's brother She cannot go away from their home. She is helpless, for. otherwise she would be deprived of her provision. People bring to me their cases. A man complained that his sister-in-law (dead brother's wife) refused his proposal. A woman married her daughter-in-law to her young child which means that alongwith this woman, even the men Folk in her house parted with their intelligence. A widow was married against her will at Nanatyah and sent forcebly to her in-laws. A woman was married during her waiting period (iddah) lest she marry someone of her choice after the iddah. People then complain that they are afflicted with pestilence. If they throw the lawful overboard and observe the unlawful then why should they not face pestilence? (Udal al-Jahiliyah, p-374) INLIMITED OPPRESSION In short, women are being much oppressed. People imagine that they have all rights over women. The result is that women have resigned into believing that they are a properly of other people. They do not think that they are wronged. In fact, the wronged one sometimes becomes the wrongdoing. For
56 The Islamic Marriage example, a husband died leaving nothing. His parents are fed up with their daughter-in-law and want her to go away, but she maintains that she belongs there and will not go to her parents. Each side wrongs and oppresses the other. (Udal al Jahiliyah p-383). IGNORANT OPPOSITION TO SHARPAH In short, the ignorant regard their daughter-in-law as their properly. The in-laws over rule the girl's parents and imagine it is their right. So, this is the first sin. They hinder the rights of her parents. This is the second sin. The third is that they usurp the young girl's right to marry at her choice and will. They took away the widow's liberty, rejected her parent's right and enforced their own right. What is saddening is that these people present themselves as good-doers in marrying-off a window though, in fact, they observed none of the real widoms of the marriage. Such cruelty was perpetrated in Arabia too. The Prophet Eliminated that. He said that he. 1 Allah and the angels cursed six people; one of those was he who re-introduces the custom of jahiliyah. You are opposing Shari'ah if you do that. For God's sake give up these pagan customs. Try to eliminate them. (Uddal al Jahiliyah, p-384). FORCED MARRIAGE Some people argue that they had made the widow give an assent with her tongue. But this is a mere formality so that no one may blame them for compulsion. A widow's marriage is not legal without her verbal consent, so they obtain it. Bui. sometimes they marry her off without even asking, and even those consent do oppress her, for, they think of themselves as her masters. Secondly,‘they do not recognise her parent’s authority. . (ibid, p-374) THE DUTIES OF IN-LAWS OF A WIDOW - ISLAMIC TEACHINGS When her husband dies, his parents must give the wido"'
The Islamic Marriage______________________________________________________ 57 their daughter-in-law, her share of inheritance. After the iddah. her waiting period, they must entrust her to her parents and not keep her with them. They may, if they like, marry her off to someone. (Udal al-Jahilihah, p-384)
CHAPTER FOUR ON EQUALITY SECTION ONE IMPORTANCE AND WRONGS OF MARRYING OUTSIDE Shari'ah has recognised some characteristics in Kifa'at (equality), resemblance). It is better that the bride should be of an equal standing with the bridegroom because if status differs then manners and habits also differ which creates misunderstanding between them. So. why is it necessary to disrupt a Muslim woman for the rest of her life? Besides, it would also create difficulties in the weddings of their children; the communit}- members will not recognise them as equals. (Islah Inqilab pp-25 etc ) A marriage with a non-equal lowers a noble woman as partner of a lower status man. She does not eye her husband with respect and this defeats the purpose of the marriage. ttbid v-2. p-111). Recognition of equality is to remove hindrance. The actual standard is presence or absence of hindrance. dnukid ul Fahnw p-3710. STANDARD IS MEASURED FROM HUSBAND’S POINT OF VIEW This means that a husband should not be of a status lower than his wife. But. it can be tolerated from the other side. Some people say that a girl of a lower standard must not be taken for a man. for, that would spoil the lineage, but a man of a lower standard may take a girl of a higher standard because that improves descent. But this is very wrong and it opposes Shan'ah. The juristic ruling is: j! jiU i—id J' 4-il—9; j» ijfu i
60 _________________________________________ The Islamic Mans, j ^j-tU litj> jj$c Al' a.'rtji; "Equality is from the man's side because a woman of high birth refuses to be a partner of a man of lower rank. Equality is not from the woman's side because the husband is the owner of the bed and he does noi show contempt on using the bed. This issue is correct in everyone's sight." (Islah Inqilab p-12). MARRIAGE OF UNEQUAL There are many kinds of marriages among unequal ! some case, such marriage is void while in some others in valid and there is no option to annul it. In yet other cases, n correct but there is option to annul it. THE FIRST KIND Marriage of unequal without permission of adult woe who is a blood relation. The marriage is not valid. They w. commit sin all their life if they stay together. THE SECOND KIND If a father or a grandfather has married off a minor tot unequal and the father and grandfather are not malicious the the marriage is valid and there is no option to annul it excel under certain circumstances. THE THIRD KIND If a guardian other than father or grandfather, or a or grandfather who are known to be malicious or (they)**5 in an intoxicated state marry off a minor to an unequal then15 marriage is void. THE FORTH KIND If an adult woman is married to an unequal permission of her guardian then this marriage is valid one has option to annul it. (al Hilah al Najizah pp-105-106).
61 The Islamic Marriage SECTION TWO ON LINEAGE DEFINITION The characteristics of equality include lineage. (Imdad al Fatawa. v-2 p-369) However in common law it is peculiar to personal nobility whether religious or worldly and taken into account with lineage to measure equality. This is evidenced in the justice language li/jhlUjiiUa and its basis is common law. WISDOM IN' EQUALITY OF LINEAGE 0 mankind! Surely We have created you from a male and a female and have made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. (19:13) (And know you blood relations and give their rights accordingly to neatness). Without the nations and tribes, it would have been extremely difficult to recognise the different families and clans. Names are generally similar and many have the same name. Some distinction is possible also from the place of residence, from neighbourhoods and from tribes. However, people have made that a basis of pride and there are two kind of people. Some have done away with reference to lineage imagining that this verse speaks of different tribe only to recognise them. This prompted some people to reject nobility of descent. However, other verses of the Qur'an, and some Ahadith must be seen too. (al-Tabligh al Akramiyeh, v-18 p-21)
The Islamic Mar, ------ jjf Islamic Marriage 63 the? feel disgraced to toe other people and a warlike situation arises. Besides, man protects u/ho, i, > ,. „ ™ n . Vha ^ongs to his family. Thus, as an imam the Quraysh will nmtprt ■ ■ 1 “i protect religion in two ways: 1)11 belongs to his clan, and .) religious relationship. Thus, difference in lineage is not 4. without purpose, and it is from Allah. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-193). Furthermore, a Hadith quotes the Prophet as saying: wij—S' l_P When the Muslims lost foot in the Battle of Hunayn, the Prophet $ advanced his horse and said, "I am the Prophet. It is not a lie and I am the son of Abdul Muttalib." He meant, "1 am of noble descent and will never be defeated. He warned the enemy, taking pride on his descent. If nobility was not something then why would he say, "1 am the son of Abdul Muttalib?" 5. According to a Hadith, "Allah chose from the offspring of Sayyidina Ibrahim Sayyidina Ismail and from his offspring the Kinanah and from them the Quraysh and from them the Banu Hashim and from them he chose me. 6. We read in another Hadith: e* A1 jiy ? a/' ^') (A-/ cS’) Allah created a|j creatures and placed me among the best of them. Then He (hem jn lwQ sectjons an(] Placed me tn the ■ into tribes and m “ He made them Sish). Then JCCd me the beSt tr‘be (the Placed me in the b ° made ltiem int0 f?am‘1*es antJ est family (Banu Hashim). Thus, I 62 NOBILITY OF DESCENT IS REAL 1. Allah has said, o_y—J I J3 3 LLyl Ail, And certainly We sent Nuh and Ibrahim, and we appointed in the progeny of the twain, the Prophethood and the Book. (57:26) Thus, the offspring of Ibrahim have excellence over th; rest of the tribe, for, prophethood and the Book will be rt them. 2. Ahadith: a-nflhj jj' oibuiS' dibu ,Ai "The people are like mines of gold and silver. The best of them in Jahiliyah are the best in Islam too, when they have secured knowledge too." The jurist of an unrecognised lineage is not equal to ajuts of a recognised lineage. The jurist of a recognised lineatts superior. But a scholar of an unrecognised lineage is super# to an ignorant person even if he is of a recognised line# Anyway, the Hadith emphasises that lineage is worn considering. 3. Another Hadith: urd.j---------- «A*-------------------~ ' There is certainly some reason why the Prophei* associated imamat (leadership) with the Quraysh. He limU* the major imamat to the Quraysh and the minor to nobility descent. (Islah Inqilab p-109, al Tabligh v-18 p-220) » Allah has given the Quraysh excellence. The chiefs "ill from them and others will not hesitate to follow them «f-
65 64 The Islamic Marna([ = am the best of them inherently and in terms of family." (Tirmizi - Translation: Mishfe These quotations leave no doubt that descent does not lac) nobility, though it does not imply the noblest. The standards1 the noblest is taqwa (righteousness, God-fearing). Surely the noblest among you in the sight of Allah is the most pious of you. (49 : 13) (at-Tabligh, v-18. p-222). ARROGANCE NOT LAWFUL Nobility of descent is not within one's power and so nothing to boast about, but there is no doubt that it isi blessing. Intellectually, one might boast on what is in one! power and that is knowledge and deeds though, accordinn Shari‘ah, one should not boast on that too. iMulJuzat Ashrafiyah, p-10 It is forbidden under all circumstances to be proud because of high descent. Today, not only the nobles indulge in thatte also the common show arrogance and regard themselves a equals of the nobles and do not differentiate betwee: themselves and the nobles. (Huquq uz Zawjayn. p-193) But this does not mean that nobility of descent is nothin For example, one should not be proud of one’s beauty# handsome looks, but we cannot deny that it is a blessing of1 high level. The same can be said of nobility of descent. (al-Tabligli, v-8p-H- DESCENT IS FROM FATHER There is a serious mistake in regarding the mother considering someone's descent. Thus, if his mother isc' noble, people do not consider the person to be noble and'’ equal. But, in evaluating equality of descent, Shari'ahW* rely on the mother. Similarly, other commands of Shari‘S not consider a person's mother in their application: instance, if only his mother is from Banu Hashim then' lawful for him to take zakah. Thus, a person whose father alone is noble is equal to one whose both parents are noble. (Islah Inqilab. v-2 p-108) EVIDENCE FROM SHARPAH The Arabs also do not pick faults in lineage because of mothers, for, Allah has cut at the roots of that. Sayyidina Ibrahim 49 had two wives. Sayyidah Sarah »V—huU*- was from his own clan, but Sayyidah Hajirah (•“A-Jt was a slave and Sayyidina Ismail 43 was her son, he being the father of same Arabs. Thus, the woman who is the beginning of some .Arabs was a slave. The tribes in Inida, however, look for defects in other families because of low descent of women. They should know that this is no defect because Shari‘ah does not rely on mothers in evaluating descent. (al-Tabligh al Akramiyah v-18. p-224). RELIABILITY OF SAYYID However, there is an exception to this rule. The descendants of the Prophet are Sayyid (Pl. Sadat) from his daughter, Sayyidah Fatimah Her offspring are Sayyid and more excellent than other Banu Hashim. In short, in evaluating descent, mother is not relied upon but, in case of offspring of Sayyidah Fatimah t^ An ^j, the mother is relied upon. Dependence of the Sadat (Sayyids) is on her and their higher nobility over other tribes is only because ofher. Ulis also brings to light the mistake of the Alawis who call themselves Sayyid. The beginning of Sadat is not from Sayyidina Ali 4# but from sayyidah Fatimah t^ An Thus, the offspring of Sayyidina Ali 4» from Sayyidah Fatimah ; tuAt are Sayyid but those from his other wives are not Sayyid, but Alawi. The claim of the Alawis to Sadat is wrong, but they are of Banu Hashim and the merits of Banu Hashim apply to them. The Alawis who call themselves Sayyid are forbidden to do
66 67 The Islamic Marriaj; — " that. This distinction is only for the Prophet and has cons down from Sayyidah Fatimah The offspring of Sayyidina Ali *4® from other wombs are all Shaykh and th offspring of the righteous Caliphs are also called Shaykh. (Ifadat al-Yawmiyah PP 10-121 A question arises here about a person whose father is nos Sayyid but mother is Sayyid. Is he a Sayyid or not? According to the rules, he is not Sayyid though he gets a touch of nobilin because of his mother being Sayyid, but he cannot call himself a Sayyid. It is lawful for him to take zakah if he is not Sahib Nasab (owner of minimum on which zakah is payable) Anyway, mother is not considered in descent (exceptfc Sayyidah Fatimah in . Neverthless in freedom of ned children represent their mother. SECTION THREE COMMENT ON INDIA'S TABLES OF GENEALOGY I doubt very much if those who are called noble of desca in India are really so. It is very strange, the number of Shaylis we come across. There are Siddiqis, Faruqis, Alawis Uthmanis and Ansaris. What about the other Sahabahj besides the four we hear of ? We do not hear anyone say that he is a descendant! Sayyidina Bilal ibn Rabah or Sayyidina Miqdadit- al-Aswad 4^- So, I doubt them. These genealogies are frant- up by our friends. I have given vent to my doubts in crowded assemble People trace their descent to the four Caliphs to Sayyi# Abbas and Sayyidina Abu Ayyub Ansari Did only P offspring of these Sahabah conquer India, of descendants of the other Sahabah become extinct1 Bc' these possibilities are far-fetched. Thus, the doubt. (Islah Inqilab.' -1 FAMILY TREES OF INDIA Those who do not possess their charts of family trees have only oral claims to present. As for those who have the family chart, the upper names are doubtful and cannot be established or verified. We are known as Faruqis from Thana Bhawn but there is doubt in that if we probe into history because Ibrahim ibn Adham is in the family tree. There is lack of unanimity about him being a Faruqi or an Ijli or a Tamimi or a Sayyid Zaydi. (Haquq k Zawjayn, p-192) No amount of evidence is enough on that. There is doubt, nevertheless. (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-109) THRISTED TABLES OF GENEALOGY Some people are not noble but thrust themselves among the nobles in the tables of genealogy. Their claims are unproved. Such claimants are cursed in Ahadith. Thus a certain people assen that they are Arabs and their origin was shepherb. Some call themselves descendants of Sayyidina Khalid ibn Walid and so claim to be Arabs. But this cannot be substantiated. (al Tabligh. v-18. p-215) HOW WILL EQUALITY WORK IN INDIA The reality of Indian tables of genealogy cannot be proved. Someone asked how was equality to be judged and the Mawlana answered, "On seeing appearance and current position. The past genealogy will not be considered." The Qur'an calls us children of Sayyidina Aadam so this is true, otherwise a look at conflict in tables of genealogy would have made that doubtful. (Hasan ul Aziz v-3 p-19). EQUALITY ON BASIS OF COMMUNITY AND TRIBE Question: In India, ther are the Pathan, Rajput, etc. They feel it is disgraceful to marry outside their circle. But the books of igh tell us that apart from the Arabs, there is no reliability of nobility of other peoples bee? tables of genealogy c non-Arabs are not preset co So, will the issue of equality apply to each other as per custom?
The Islamic Mama^ 6& Answer; Xs per the stated narrations, since the reproach or lack of it, and these tribes find it reproachful to marry among, each other, the issue of equality stands. (Iindad ul Fatawa, v-7, p-311) 69 SECTION FOUR GENEALOGY AND TRIBAL LINKS ALSO FORM BASIS OF EQUALITY TODAY The jurists do not rely on the genealogy tables of the non-Arabs, if it is not accepted in common practice. If it is. then equality is dependant upon genealogy and tribal basis. (Inidad ul Fatawa, v-2 p-368) ARE THE ANSARS AND THE QURAYSH EQUALS The Ansars are not from the Quraysh. But, the Alamgin ■ says that all Arabs are equal, so the Ansars and the Quraysh will be regarded as equals, (ibid v-2 p-371) SUMMARY The restriction of Kifa at (equality) is not without a reason. ML It is based on customary honour or disgrace. For example, the IHf Shaykhs may intermarry though they may be Faruqis, Siddiqis. Ansaris or Uthmanis; they are equals, and the restriction will F not apply whether the mother is an Arab or not. (al-Idafat al-Yawniyah Part 3, p-200) NON ARAB SCHOLAR NOT EQUAL TO ARAB WOMAN Though some jurists have held that a non-Arab scholar is equal of an Arab woman yet it is explained in Dur Mukhtar that a non-Arab cannot be her equal even if he is -a (non-Arab) Scholar or king.(/slah Inqilab b-2, p-111. Fath ul Qadir, Durr Mukhtar} A COMMON MISTAKE The villagers regard all outsiders as lesser than them as though nobility is limited to a few villages. Thus, if one ot them marries a woman from outside, the village woman do not take her as an equal. His children face difficulty in marriage within the community, (islah Inqlab v-2, p-110) EQUALITY FROM RELIGIOUS POINT OF VEIW Among the basis on which Shari'ah recognises equality is religion. Again -as in the case of descent it is not harmful if the wife is of a lower rank than her husband, but the husband must not be of a rank lower than his wife. A man's irreligiousness may be of three kinds: in the fundamental beliefs, in branch issues or in practice. THE FIRST KIND The woman is a Muslim but the man a non-Muslim - a jew. Christian, Magian, idolator or atheist, Obviously, their marriage is void. THE SECOND KIND The woman is a Sunni but the man is a bidati (an innovator). If he goes to the limits of disbelief, like believing m Mirza as a Prophet, then they cannot marry, otherwise he is a Muslim but not an equal of the Sunni woman. In some cases, the Ulama differ whether the innovator practices disbelief or not (like the masses today who worship graves). Those who rule that he is a disbeliever hold that his marriage with a sunni woman is void, others hold that they are not equals. I say that as long as the two have not married the former verdict (that it is void) should be followed because this is a cautious approach and a woman who has correct belief is not wedded to a man of doubtful belief. If. however, l^ey are already married then it is necessary to examine (leePly if the marriage is valid or not. This is a judicious tytoachnow, for, if their marriage is declared void and that ^ri>s out to be a wrong judgement on the basis of which the marries someone else then her second marriage ljf^be void and she would be committing adultery all her -Cause of it without realising it.
71 70__________________________________________________ The Islamic Marriage THE THIRD KIND The sinning man is never the equal of a righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the daughter of a pious man is also righteous. If a woman is righteous and the man is a sinner then he cannot be the equal of the righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the sinner must be a proclaimed. As for marriage of unequal, we have already spoken on that. (Islah Inqilab v-2 pp-13,14). CONFIRM THAT THE GROOM IS A MUSLIM Some of the youth who have acquired modern education are so free thinking and independent minded that they do not hesitate to imitate the atheists and they' criticise the basic injunctions of Islam. They question prophethood, salah or fasting. Some of them have doubts about the last hour. Such a man is a disbeliever though he may call himself a Muslim. A Muslim woman's marriage is not valid with a disbeliever. If a Muslim professes these beliefs then he becomes a non-Muslim and his marriage with a Muslim woman becomes void. Thus, you must ensure that your prospective son-in-law is a Muslim and if he happens to utter words of disbelief after marriage then ask him to make a repentance and renew his marriage, (ibid v-2 p-39) VERIFY THAT HE DOES NOT MOVEABOUT WITH THE MISLED Find out before marriage whether or not the bridegroom subscribe to a misled group, not only the ancient ones but rhe new ones that crop up every day. Similarly, if he is western educated, verify whether it has influenced his religious upbringing. If he utters even one wori of disbelief then he will have to reaffirm his Islam and rene" his marriage otherwise, he and his wife would be living illegally, (Islah Inqilab, p-115) MARRIAGE WITH A CHRISTIAN OR JEW WOMAN Some people return from the west with a wife who belong5 to a Chirstian community but does not profess the religion of Christianity being atheists. Marriage with such a woman is not correct. Some men who marry a Christian woman are so impressed by her that they lose all values of their religion. It is wajib for them to keep away from that. (Islah Inqilab. p-114) While the piety of the prospective son-in-law was verified in the olden days it is necessary now-a-day to verify if he is a Muslim at all. It is a condition to marry a Muslim woman that her husband should be a Muslim. Marriage of a Muslim woman with a disbeliever is not valid. Many boys are influenced with modem education and do not care about faith or religion. They are Muslims only in name. They utter words of disbelief with their tongue and do nut care about it. Then one of them is chosen for a Muslim girl and the family members are happy that they have observed the sunnah method of marriage. But the condition to observe the sunnah is faith which we do not know how many times he may have rejected! A pious girl was married to a western educated boy who bragged, "Muhammad0 was a great reformer and 1 admire him much. But prophethood is a religious view." dJJi *>> M (We seek refuge in Allah from that). This is an expression of disbelief which nullifies the marriage. If the parents of the girl are told about it then they are prepared to fight for their son-in-law. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-485) WEALTH OR PEDIGREE PREFERRED OVER RELIGION Some people hand over their daughter to an irreligious man only because he is wealthy or belongs to a noble family of repute. The man's outlook borders on disbelief. As a result the couple commit sin of adultery all their life. Their children would be bastards. Even if the man does not commit disbelief, they suffer spiritual punishment always. (Islah inqilab, v-2 p-14) » 3
73 72 WHY BASE ON RELIGION The Islamic Marna[f -------------------------- The objective of marriage is love and friendship and religion plays a greater role in promoting that than anything else. Indeed, all relationships terminate when only religion; links remain even on the Day of Resurrection. Pie Islamic Marriage religious man. Shari‘all has classified it as a kind of improper match. It has prescribed a rule. There shall be no ties of kinship among them.(23:101) The adulterer weds not but an adulteress or an associatoress, and the adulteress - none weds her but an adulterer or an associator. (24:3) and their ties (of relationship) would be cut asunder. Out of affection between you in the life of this world; then on the Day of Resurrection you will deny one another and will curse one another. (29 : 25) But, religious relationship will not end even on that day Friends on that day shall be foes to one another except those who are God fearing. (43 : 67) The reason is that religion creates fear of Allah. He fears Allah will be mindful of the little things and will not think of violating rights of anyone even to a little extent ft will not hurt anyone, nor prefer himself over other peop'! Who can be more civilised than such a one? (ibid, p-48) NOT PROPER TO MATCH A RELIGIOUS MAN WITH AN IRRELIGIOUS WOMAN Some men marry women of low character. Thoughv' marriage is valid, and we must not have misgivings abou1'' that she yet to reform, it is not a cautious approach^ Though this does not specifically disallow such a marriage yet it calls the marriage disliked. If the persons adulterous nature is confirmed them there is greater degree of dislike to the point of unlawfulness but if it is to the degree of possibility then the dislike is lesser. This is stressed in the Hadith (choose a recommended woman for your sperm). Allah never chose for any Prophet a woman who may have ever indulged in evil not even if she may have repented afterwards. This is what the Qur’anic words mean: And the pure women for the pure men. (24 : 26) However, if she has made a sincere repentance which leaves no doubt and no one is likely to accept her then to protect her innocence, or if he loves her then, this is an exception. J' x-U-dy (Islah Inqilab v-2 p-51) SECTION FIVE EQCALITY IN AGE People are very indifferent in giving right^of women. For instance, they marry a child to an old man so that when he dies ilte poor child is ruined.
74 75 The Islamic Marria^ It is also the other way about when a male child is married to a young woman. Thus, a boy was married to a youn; woman; he was so young that he could have been her firs born. This was very detestable though not disallowed. If there is a reasonable compatibility in age then it promotes love an; affection. (Udal al Jahiliyah. p-356) It is very necessary that the couple be of a compatible age This is a natural requirement but also somewhat recommended by Shari'ah. The Qur'an says: Maidens of restraining glances of equal age. (38 : 52) It also says: Surely We have created them (their spouses) by (special) creation, so We have made them virgins, loving, equals of age. (56 : 35-37) Difference of age causes unfamiliarity. People of one age become friends quickly. When Sayyidina Abu Bakr 4^ later Sayyinina Umer proposed marriage to Sayyidah Fatima the Prophet said each time, "Sheis young. There was much difference in their ages, so the Prophet turned down the request of each of them. Thus, part of ths reason was that the difference in age of the bride and groom must not be very much. (Udal al Jaliiliyali) TOLERABLE DIFFERENCE When she was married, Sayyidah Fatimah U-c- an 15*/2 years old and Sayyidina Ali was 21 years old. I1'5 advisable that the bridegroom should be slightly older than bride. (Islah ur Rasum, p-90) The wise men say that there is no harm if the wife1 younger slightly because a woman is the ruled while man is The Islamic Marriage ruler. Besides, woman ages faster than man, so a differenced oftwo to four years is absorbed. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-371) THE GIRL MUST REFUSE WHEN THERE IS A MISMATCH If the bride is very young and the groom is old then she might become a widow very soon. Girls as young as thirteen years old are — dumb creatures — married off to men as old is sixty years old. If she is chaste then she finds herself imprisoned for life, otherwise she will commit indecency. In either case, husband and wife will be at loggers head and disagreement. In the second case, there will be much disrepute and disgrace of both families. Often, an old husband is the first to die, so the very' young wife falls into the trap of customs and rots the rest of her life as a widow. Sometimes, she does not get enough to eat and, if custom will not permit, she will not go out to earn a living, but if she does then she may fall prey to wicked men. (Islah Inqilab p-24). EVILS OF MARRYING YOUNG BOY TO AN ELDER WOMAN Some customs are the opposite of this. A young boy, often a child, is married to an older girl. She becomes youthful early while he is old enough to play in her lap. The foolish people who make this match do not realise that the ideal ages of the partners is when they are nearly equal. This custom will never allow the pair to show love to one another. The result is that the girl either commits indecency or withers away from tuberculosis. Later when the boy grows to youth, they are again no match. The hatred of early marriage persists and the husband is not respected. (Islah lnqlab. v-6 p-44). When the Prophet $ did not approve a young girl for an old man then how may we expect him to approve a young boy for an older woman? Besides, this is unreasonable too. The otplanation is that a husband is superior and an authority. Asides, a woman ages faster than her husband who might then another wife. (Huquq uz Zawajayn p-371)
76 The Islamic SECTION SIX CHAPTER FIVE CHOOSING A PARTNER EQUALITY IN TERMS OF WEALTH If a man marries a poor woman not to achieve an aims, SECTION ONE not to avert a difficulty then it is proper. This is because oft a poor woman lacks skill and a large heart so that she c® serve and manage well and sometimes she withholds necessaty expenses. Thus, rights of people are not given sometimes^ it becomes embarrassing. However, if she is used toi generous living since childhood then she will be goodz management. As for the difficulty he might face, it is ofc when a woman receives wealth suddenly she spends it rai particularly if she also lacks skill. Those who becomericht this manner are either miserly or rash spenders. They area moderate at spending. Often she does not have a soft comet!.' her husband's family and she loads her parent's home*: different things from his house. This removes blessings fro his house and the man toils hard to earn a living but she d» not brother about that and continues to empty his treasures Hence, it is better, as far as possible, to marry one's equal. SHOULD A RICH GIRL BE CHOSEN Many people, therefore, refrain from choosing a poorgf- However, my own opinion is that one must choose a girls equal status. A girl from a rich family will not be greedy she will be hot-headed while a poor girl will be greedy and*- open a supply line to her poor relatives. (Deen wa Dunya Asbab ul Gliaflahf*' CHARACTERISTICS OF GROOM The bridegroom must be religious minded otherwise he till not give rights of his wife. He will not give rights of his tile. He may not give rights of his wife. He may be an excellent man in all respects but if he is not religious-minded then do not choose him as your son-in-law. (Maffiizat Kharat v-3 p-32). If a man is not attentive to his religious duties then he is not reliable and he will not observe the limits. Such a man is ten dangerous. To observe the limits is a great characteristics. (al-Ifadat v-8 p-202) DEFINITION OF A RELIGIOUS MINDED People do not know the ingredients of religion. They think tail is basic ingredients are five: beliefs, worship, dealings, social behaviour, and civilised manner or training the self. (Huquq ul llm p-2) Beauty of a person lies in the beauty of his nose, ear, eyes, 2nd so on. These things must be in proper proportion, if the eye is defective or the nose is cut then though other organs may be beautiful, the man will not be said to be beautiful. It is •lit same with a religious person. He is observant of all (Tajdeed T'alim p-227) Though reforming social relations also part of religion, people think that it is insignificant and give importance 10"azifah (optional, religious exercises). Social etiquettes rt<|uire that a person must not hurt anyone. If his dealings with k other people are correct and he offers five time salah then iia religious person. He deserves sainthood. (Hasan ul Aziz v-2 p-63) 1.
78 The Islamic Marri^ A SAINTLY PERSON CONSULTED A JEW A saintly man had a daughter for whom he received mat, proposals of marriage He consulted his neighbour who was; Jew on who should he choose. The Jew hesitated in th beginning saying, "Our religions differ so how my advicecc be reliable. The saintly man assured him, "You are % Muslim, but you are a gentleman and would not give awrtn advice. So I proffer it without hesitation." The Jew said "I have heard that your Prophet had said. "Four things are observed when marrying a women: wealth, beauty, position and religion. Try to marry her to a religious minded man". "All the proposals received by you lack perfect religion 1 student who stays in your mosque is nearest to that. He! always engaged in Allah's work. Marry your daughter tote: There would be blessings, InshaAllah." So the saint took his advice. Indeed, his daughter« happy all her life, (at Tabligh, vi4 pl30). SELECTING A GROOM Someone wrote to the Mawlana that he was much won* about wedding his daughters. He did not get an agreed proposal for any of them. If a young man sported a beard, was very poor and if he was a young man of some means# he was perplexed and people advised him not to insist & bearded young man which was very rare in modern time The Mawlana wrote to him that indeed he was1 difficulty and he thought that even those who sported a were not religious in the full sense of the word in these tf^ times. While one commits the sin of shaving his beard, a^ is mad with lust and indecency. Then what can one do"1' cc beatd . .) tl . re should be real piety and righteousness The Islamic Marriage . 79 is very scarce. Hence, it was better if one was large-hearted about it. Only a few things should be considered in the groom: 1. There should be no doubt in his Islamic beliefs and he should not ridicule them. 2. He should be good natured in that he respects scholars and elders. ■3. He should be mild tempered. 4. He may be expected to give rights to his relations. 5. It is necessary that he was enough means of livelihood. 6. One who meets these conditions may be tolerated. It is not far fetched to expect, such a young man to grow a beard after a gradual living together. (Malfiizat Ashraliyah, p-311) There are three other necessary' conditions. 1. Ability' to earn a livelihood. 2. There should be equality' as near as possible. 3. Righteousness. Thereafter, one must cease to seek more, otherwise, the words of hadith will apply. "When there is compatibility in manners and religion, marry them off otherwise there will be corruption on land.” (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-31) DO NOT CHOOSE FOREIGNERS The Mawlana said, "Marrying foreign men is often harmful.' (Malfiaatkhabrai (v-3 p-32) 'TRY CLOSE RELATIVES NOT PREFERRED Experienced men have advised against marrying very close relatives because children tend to be weak. (Hasan ul Aziz v-2 p-155) The reason for that is chils bearing depends not only on Physical health and sound temperament but also on love and desire. (Islah Inqilab p-30) C|iOOSE PARTNER FOR GIRL VERY CAREFULLY "omen are too hasty in marrying off their daughters, i or
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi

  • 1. 1 Sayings of Mawlana Ashraf Ali ThanawixlU-u^j DARUL-ISHAAT Karachi-Pakistan.
  • 2. THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGE Sayings of Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi Compiled by Mawlana Muhammad Zayd Mazahri Nadwi English Rendering Rafique Abdur Rahman DARULISHAAT Urdu Bazar. Karachi-Pakistan
  • 3. Copyright Regd. No. AH Rights ofTranslation are Reserved h ith DARUL - ISHAATKARACHI Copyright delegated to MohammadAsif310-New Meena Bazar Jama Masjid Dehli India PUBLISHER'S SUBMISSION FIRST EDITION 2009 PRINTED AT ILM! GRAPHICS PCBLISHER DARUL - ISHAAT CROC BAZAR KARACHI-1 PAKISTAN. E-mail. i.haat@pk.netsolir com, ishaat@cyber.net.pk AVAILABLE AT MAKTABA MA ARIFUL QURAN. DARUL ULOOM. KORANGI. KARACHI AVAILABLE IN U.K. AZHAR ACADEMY L TD. 54-68 LITTLE ILFORD LANE. MANOR PARK. LONDON E12 5QA The worsening of Muslim society in matters relating to marriage is touching dangerous limits. This book can play a very effective role in correcting the wrongs rampant in our society provided it is introduced to every home and its teaching are observed. Of the several books written on this subject, this book can be described as a new and important book because of its method of treatments and subject analysis. May Allah make it beneficial universally and may He make it a means of reforming the Islamic society. Aameen! AVAILABLE IN U.S.A DARUL-ULOOM AL-MADAMA MADRASAH ISLAMIAH BOOK STORE 182 SOBIESKI STREET. 6665 BINTLIFF. HOLSTON, BUFFALO. NY 14212. U.S A TX-77074. USA AVAILABLE INSOUTHAFRICA AL-HUDA PUBLICATIONS 35 CENTRAL AVE MAYFAIR 2092 JOHANFNSBURG S. AFRICA
  • 4. 7 The Islamic Marriage The Islamic Marriage CONTENTS . KHUTBA-E-NIKAH ’AU. : ; ............................................................... . ..... a1J b 3J 01 J J OXu>u <l(J f*■ c, > "■ ' >>xx^,x -• x » x ,x * j aJ a1Ji aA_^ j ' '"x~£' jj J Jjl a_Jl V jl J aj *>Q J 4jli> Ji?- ajjl IjAj Ij^al j^jJllgAj d_J 3 ?*^'5 u^ij JJi (X?j iyji J-uJii^i b j U1~J aB’ 'A* 5 s-Cj j j^ u^_o c-» j A* ^JxjLfr JlT aJJ| jjl j aj OjJ j-L—j <_£J s qJ'^1 '*•^1*^ ■*' S'J—S Ij_Jj_3 J aXJ| IJ fl7l IjZal 'jy J aII1 ^Jaj J ^&jj->2> jAij Foreword Publisher's submission CHAPTER ONE 29 SECTION ONE 29 Some ahadith concerning importance of marriage 29 Benefits of marriage from point of view of religion and hereafter 29 Comments 30 Warning on not marrying 30 Marriage is a form of worship 31 SECTION TWO 31 Marriage is a dealing but not a worldly affair 31 Objectives and benefits of marriage 31 Intention behind marriage 32 Wisdom behind marriage 33 Islamic command 33 Objectives 34 Not merely eating 34 Other advantages 35 Disadvantages of an unmarried life 35 Marriage when ninety years old 36 Another case 36 Mawalana Fadlur Rahman married when one hundred years old 36 Haji sahib's second marriage in old age 37 Warning to the unmarried Why the warning Excuses for not marrying Ahadith on the excuses 38 SECTION THREE 39 The juristic command Wajib (obligatory) 39 Fard (absolute obligatory) 39 39
  • 5. The Islamic Marriage 9 8________________________________________ _________The Islamic Marri; Musnun (recommended) 39 Forbidden 39 Different conditions 39 What should a poor man do 40 Is a father responsible and does he commit sin by delaying his childen's marriage? 40 CHAPTER TWO 43 Concerning a wife 43 SECTION ONE 43 Virtues of a wife 43 The best friend 43 Importance of women and valuing their support 43 Wife is a great benefector 43 Wife's sacrifice 44 Favours of women 44 Mismanagement without wife 45 SECTION TWO 45 Merit of a village woman 4-> Excellence of ill-mannered bad skilled women Old wife worth esteem A story 4 SECTION THREE 4S 48 Merits of Indian women Love husbands Chastity 49 Patience Self satisfaction Thought for husband _l Faithfulness 5? CHAPTER THREE 3 Concering widows -3 Marriage of widow L3 Custom ofjahiliyah Widow marriage fard Widow's marriage more necessary than a virgin's ,4 A widow needs more attention The evils of a widow not marrying 54 Marry off a window even if she is unwilling 54 No harm if an old widow with children does not marry 55 Pressure of in-laws 55 Unlimited oppression 55 Ignorant opposition to Sliariali 56 Forced marriage 56 The duties of in-laws of a widow - Islamic teachings 56 CHAPTER FOUR ON EQUALITY 59 SECTION ONE 59 Importance and wrongs of marrying outside 59 Standard is measured from husband's point of view 59 Marriage of unequal 60 The first kind 60 The second kind 60 The third kind 60 The fourth kind 60 SECTION TWO 61 On lineage 61 Definition 6] Wisdom in equality of lineage gj Nobility of descent is real 53 Arrogance not lawful 54 Descent is from father 54 Evidence from Shariah gj Reliability of Sayyid SECTION THREE Comment on India's tables of genealogy Family trees of India Thrusted tables of genealogy How will equality work in India Equality on basis of community and tribe Genealogy and tribal links also from basis of equality today 66 66 67 67 67 67 68 68 68 Are the Ansars and the Summary Quraysh equals
  • 6. 11 10 The Islamic Marri Non Arab scholar not equal to arab woman A common mistake 68 SECTION FOUR 69 Equality from religious point of veiw 69 The first kind 69 The second kind 69 The third kind 70 Confirm that the groom is a Muslim 79 Verify' that he does not move about with the misled 70 Marriage with a Christian or Jew woman 70 Wealth or pedigree perfered over religion 71 Why base on religion 72 Not prepare to match a religious man with an irreligious woman 72 SECTION FIVE 73 Equality in age 73 Tolerable difference 74 The girl must refuse when there is a mismatch 75 Evils of marrying young boy to an elder woman 75 SECTION SIX 76 Equality in terms of wealth 76 Should a rich girl be chosen 76 CHAPTER FIVE Choosing a partner ' 77 SECTION ONE 77 Characteristics of groom 77 Definition of a religious minded 7g A saintly person consulted a Jew 7g Selecting a groom 79 Do not choose foreigners 79 Very close relatives not preferred 79 Choose partner for girl very carefully SECTION TWO g0 The best women gO What to look for in a bride The Islamic Marriage___________ To look for modem education Better if she has religious education Consequences of seeking beauty Undeniable fact If two happen to fall in love.... A very beautiful wife is also dangerous The case of an innocent beautiful woman Marrying for money Seeking a large dowry Dowry without demand CHAPTER SIX SECTION ONE Supplication Istikharah before marriage Effort and trust plus prayer Some etiquettes of prayer Prayer to get a good match Refuge from evil partner Prayer of Istikharah Istikharah for marriage Istikharah before resolve When is it suitable Reality of istikharah When can it be beneficial 82 82 82 82 82 83 83 83 85 85 85 85 86 86 87 88 89 89 89 90 90 The objective The time The method 91 91 92 A condition 92 Cast spell or make amulet to marry someone 92 specifically 92 Amulet and spell concerning marriage 92 Marriage may take place easily 92 That daughters may get suitable proposals 93 Importance guidelines concerning marriage 93 CHAPTER SEVEN 95 Other guidelines 95
  • 7. 12 The Islamic M; SECTION ONI W ise to see the bride betore marriage Caution Their relationship before marriage It is unlawful to imagine pleasure with a fiancee Consent of both necessary Consequence of neglecting opinion of the concerned How to get their opinion It is wrong to leave everything in their hands Proposal and marriage without consulting elders Modety is a must Marriage through advertisement SECTION TWO Authority of young people Marrying them off without permission How to get her permission Who is die guardian Defects of a girl's marrying herself SECTION THREE Marriage should be conducted with honesty Marrying off a girl witli shortcomings Marrying off to an important husband Announce the marriage Disadvantages of a secret marriage When it is necessary Who should propose CHAPTER EIGHT Ideal age Disadvantages of delaying marriage of daughters Delay because of jewellery and dowry Delay because of arranging banquet Foolish excuse about suitable match Are there fewer qualified young men Marriage in childhood is harmful Evils of child marriage Do not marry during student years 95 The Islamic Marriage _______ - Not when minor 108 95 When do they become adults 108 95 Minor may marry when necessary 108 95 Early marriages better 108 9S Responsibility of parents 109 96 Do not marry off two children at ope time 109 96 CHAPTER NINE 111 96 Engagement and date of wedding 111 97 SECTION ONE 111 97 Reality of engagement 111 97 Gathering the community 111 97 These customs do not seal the engagement 111 98 Sayyidah Fatimah's example 112 Serving guests 112 98 qq Brokerage or commission on arranging match 112 99 SECTION TWO 113 100 Agreeing upon date of marriage 113 100 Zul Qadah is not inauspicious 114 Marriage in Zul Qadah, Muhurrum and Safar 114 101 Only sin and disobedience have an ill-augury 115 101 Marriage during eclipse 115 101 CHAPTER TEN 117 102 The wedding 117 102 Marriage ceremony and the assembly 117 102 An event 117 103 Who should perform the marriage 117 103 Fees of solemnising the merriage 117 105 When fees become unlawul 117 105 Important rulings that a qadi must know 119 105 Taking groom to a shrine, 121 105 Garlanding the groom 121 105 Reciting the kalimah 121 i06 Consent thrice or aameen 122 iO^ Distributing dry dates 122 10? Not dates alone 122 10? Ruling of Mawlana Hangoli 122
  • 8. The Islamic Marriage 14 The Islamic Marrjj CHAPTER ELEVEN ]2j Connecting the dower ]2l SECTION ONE ]2, Wisdom behind the dower I21 Need for witnesses l2j General trend of dower 122 Such a one is an adulterer 121 He is treacherous as a thief j2j Dower should be a small amount ]2j Evidence from Shariah ]2j Blessed and easy dower 12< Disadvantages of high dower 125 The hadith 125 My experience 12( Dower that exceeds one's capacity I2f High dower to check husband 12( Nothing disgraceful 12‘ The limits ■ 12" Fatimi dower 121 A caution 12! SECTION TWO 12! An important rulingl dower in kind instead of cash $ Dower depends on intention 1;' Another important ruling It is shameful to ask one's wife to forgo her dower '• Willingness of heart is a condition, not mere write-off Minor wife's dower cannot be written-off Dower is a right and may be demanded Arab and Indian customs 1 Payment of dower does not discharge other duties of husband Write-off when husband is dying What should she do after his death j; When she is on her death bed Heirs of wife have right in her dower that must be paid to them Rending dower does not suspend payment of zakah 132 CHAPTER TWELVE 135 About the dowry 135 Whatever a groom receives without demand and desire (and is given) with sincerity is Allah's blessing 135 Reality and the command 135 Remember those things 136 Dowry of Sayyidah Fatimah 136 Evils of customary dowry 136 The list of dowry 136 Only ego is the driving force 137 Thief at heart 137 Kinds of ostentation 137 Land, property, field or capital for business as dowry 137 Too many clothes and garments for relatives 138 The correct dowry 138 Husband cannot use what belongs to his wife without her consent 139 Willing consent 139 CHAPTER THIRTEEN 141 Customary’ exchange of gifts 141 Does not create love 141 Reality of these customs 141 The view of Shariah 142 Nothing but a debt 143 To give up customary exchanges of gifts will snap ties of relationship 145 What is reasonable 145 Paying expenses 145 At the time of sending off the bride 145 The command of Shariah on things given as part of custom, out of shae or pressure 146 CHAPTER FOURTEEN 147 The wedding procession It is a Hindu custom 147 No need of baraat 147 147
  • 9. 17 The Islamic Mani. -===^^|e 148 148 148 148 149 150 150 150 150 151 151 16___________________ Some disadvantage 1 regard the custom of procession as unlawful How then may social contacts be retained Evidence from Shariah Applicable to the affluent also National sympathy Wedding procession is a combination of sins At the bride's home Better not to attend Evidence from Shariah The ulama and religious leaders must not attend CHAPTER FIFTEEN Some of the unlawful things during the wedding Dancing and singing Fire works Photography and filming Filming the ceremony Tambourine Singing songs Request to play music and sing songs Bands, drums and music If anyone does not heed CHAPTER SIXTEEN Marriage customs SECTION ONE What is a custom Custom and otherwise Two kinds of customs Customs, now and before Customs are sinful Evidence in Shariah of today's customs being evil Strong evidence Argments of those who favour customs Shariah stand SECTION TWO Evils of custom 153 153 153 154 154 155 156 156 156 157 157 159 159 159 159 159 159 159 ]60 161 162 163 164 164 164 The Islamic Marriage__________________ Burden of debt Wasteful expenditure Mawlana Muhammad Qasim's advice Waste is worse than miserliness 167 167 Marriage that lacks blessings Beneficial ways to. spend on a marriage SECTION THREE Pomp and show Pomp earns bad name Not well wishers A great loss They forget salah SECTION FOUR Borrowing for the wedding Extending loan for a marriage CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Women sticking to custom SECTION ONE Women are root of all customs Ills of women's gatherings Some ills resulting from women's assemblies Adornment 167 167 168 168 168 169 169 169 171 171 171 171 172 172 173 174 Serious mistake of women The Prophet's saying 174 How to keep women away from going out 174 Is there possibility of women going to functions 175 Lethargy of old women 176 SECTION TWO Men are to blame Accepted women as leaders Two people disallow observance of custom Complaint against men SECTION THREE How to eliminate customs Shariah's prescription 177 177 177 178 178 179 • 179 179
  • 10. 19 18____________ ____________________________ Disallow all customs at once He who oppose customs is a saint Those who abide by customs deserve curse All Muslims are responsible A request to women CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Different customs The Islamic Marriage ixo 180 180 181 181 183 183 183 SECTION ONE Closeting the would-be bride and rubbing oil on her body Rubbing the body Mixing with bridegrooms family Hiding the shoes Bride reading through the Quran Travel fare to members of the wedding procession Bride cannot alight until other women are paid Carrying the bride SECTION TWO Washing bride's feet New bride showing too much shyness Prison for a new bride Looking at the face Next day Sweetmeat and other things on every arrival Everyone does not forbid these customs CHAPTER NINETEEN A model marriage The need to follow the Prophet's example Marriage and sending off of Sayyidah Fatimah Departure at right time Easiest deed Simplicity The simplest way An excellent example Throwing money Guardian in a wedding 183 184 184 184 184 185 185 185 186 186 186 186 186 187 187 187 189 189 189 189 190 190 191 191 191 192 192 193 If had daughters CHAPTER TWENTY SECTION ONE After departure Brides modesty beyond limits Keeping aloof after marriage 195 195 195 195 196 SECTION TWO 196 The first night 196 Needless shyness 196 The ideals method 196 Joking and being playful 197 Man should disclose his love 197 Customs in Arabia and in India 197 Writing al-Ikhlas on wife's forehead 198 Supplications 198 Fajr salah on first night 198 Homeless women on the first night 199 An exemplar}' event 199 CHAPTER TWENTY ONE 201 The Walimah 201 The masnun walimah 201 The limits 201 The prophet's S example 201 Sayyidina Ali's Walimah 202 Use lawful earnings 202 Inviting others to avert bad name 202 An easy way 202 Unlawul walimah 203 The worst walimah 203 Not allowed participation 203 Not allowed to take extra guests along 204 The feast of an interest-taker or an innovator 205 If most is unlawful 206 When in doubt 206 Some guidelines 206 Accept poor man's invitation 207
  • 11. 20 The Placing a legal condition Arrange of the poor CHAPTER TWENTY TWO Having many wives SECTION ONE The motivating factor Another wisdom Wisdom for both in second marriage The need In the light of history Why only four wives Shari'ah has allowed more than one wife SECTION TWO Prohibition to have more than one wife When women would be unfair Only in the love of luxury Second wife not advised if not necessary SECTION THREE Difficulties in having many wives My experience Consequences of second marriage without valid reason Advice Who should take a second wife SECTION FOUR Let one be enough If the first has no child SECTION FIVE Necessary rulings As companions in journey A separate home SECTION SIX Method of living with two wives Pattern for the husband Pattern for the first wife 20? 20? 209 209 209 209 209 210 210 210 211 211 212 212 212 212 213 213 2H 215 215 215 215 215 216 216 217 211 jjS The Islamic Marriage Pattern for the new wife CHAPTER TWENTY THREE Injunctions about private relationship SECTION ONE There is reward on approaching one's wife What should be his intention Approaching the wife How much of one another may they see Forbidden to think of another woman Prayers and zikr Prescribed prayers No limit is saintly Neither harm nor against taqwa The Prophet's sahabah’s life Consideration of health is essential Observatant Harmful effects Imam Ghazali's Utaniwj saying Limits to sexual intercourse with wife 213 Interval in days 213 Harmful effects of medicine Practice moderation Diseases Guidelines When it is necessary to have cohabitation Guidelines for women SECTION TWO when she menstruates Limits during her menses Different ruling Expiation Kaffarah Ruling Intercourse during istihadah Approaching during post child birth bleeding First child and nifas lasts for thirty days 21 220 221 221 221 221 221 221 222 223 223 223 224 224 225 226 226 226 227 227 227 227 228 228 228 229 229 230 230 230 231 232 232 232 232 232 233
  • 12. 22 The Islamic . 23? Oeverpowering desire while wife has menses SECTION THREE Care when wife is pregnant Only from medical point of view Having intercourse with woman who suckles Preventing pregnancy Abortion 233 233 234 234 234 234 SECTION FOUR 235 Homo sexuality and the unnatural act 235 Unnatural sex with one's own wife 236 23 The Islamic Marriage Disliked to clip nails and cut hair before bath 247 If there is likelihood of getting sick from water 248 While trvelling 249 SECTION-FIVE 249 Shari'ah's command on leukorrhea 249 Summary 250 Who is the handicapped and excude 250 Glossary 253 CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR Purification SECTION-ONE Why no sexual intercourse with menstruating woman and why bath after impurity Wisdom in bath after discharge of semen Secret of bath after sexual intercourse Other benefits SECTION-TWO Bathing place and condition The masnun method of bath Zikr or prayer Conversing during bath Washing of visible portion is enough Need not untie hair Some etiquettes SECTION-THREE When bath becomes wajib Some important rulings When bath is not fard Ruling on ihtilam Very thin mazi or mani SECTION-FOUR Injunctions for those on whom bath is fard Summary of injunctions 237 231 231 231 231 23! 235 23! 23! 23! 240 24! 240 241 241 2J- 241 J4: J41 J41 2* lit
  • 13. FOREWORD All people of the world irrespective of their religion and sex do face the question of marriage in their lives. It is this issue that causes worry to everyone today whether he is poor or rich man or woman. This is the most worrying aspect of human life. While the poor are crushed under the burden, the rich too are not much better off. However. Islam has described marriage as the simplest of deeds. The Prophet and the Saliabah showed us how simple it is with their practical example. But, today, it is the most difficult affair. While marriage is a happy occasion, today it has become a sad problem. How many young girls have committed suicide! And how many parents lose their temper when a girl is borne to them! How many men have divorced their wives for that reason! Birth of a girl in these times is a trial and a calamity! And when any of them is given the glad tidings of (birth of) a female, his face becomes darkened and lie is wroth inwardly.'(16 58) Today, we are facing nearly the same situation that the disbelievers had faced before the rise of Islam. Today's marriage destroys families. Choosing a spouse, setting a standard for that, preparing dowry for the daughter, pleasing different people, entertaining them, observing difficult customs and pouring money over that liberally • these are essential to every marriage today. The poor have no means to do that but even die affluent are not without worry, the only reason for this predicament is that we ignore and throw away the guidance of Islam and the leaching of Shari'ah in this regard and overlook the example of the Prophet 0> and the Sahabah .
  • 14. 26 The Islamic Marnaj and Sahabiyat No one ever looks at the Islam, directive for marriage and how the Prophet conducie. himself. Once the religion is perfected: and it is not mere! concerned with worship but also encompasses dealings an: social behaviour, how can a religious minded Muslim ignort its directives? Religion is not simply to observe salah at; fasting, rather marriage, too, is a form of worship andi religious affair. The Prophet practice has to be emulated: conducting weddings too. 27 pie Islamic Marriage ______________________________________ May Allah approve this selection and make it a means of reforming and guidance of the Ummah. Aameen! (Mufti) Muhamad Zayd Muzahari Madani Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern (of conduct) <33 : 21 > Today, everyone is worried because they have given it that excellent pattern and replaced shari'ah with innovate customs and practices. As a result we had forsaken our religia and have even destroyed our worldly affairs. The Ulama have written many books on this subject. Th. collection, The Islamic Marriage, throws detailed intelliges light on every aspect of marriage. You will find an in-dep: discussion on marriage, its benefits, Islamic injunction choosing spouses, the grooms party, dowry, custom.1 walimah, and almost every other connected matter. Th collection is actually a selection from Mawlana Thanawr saying, sermons and writing. J have taken great pains to seard and compile them. 1 have hope in Allah that he w ill make th selection the most comprehensive and beneficial on th' subject, and whosoever observes this mode of conduct marriage will, Insha Allah, find peace in this life and £f reward in the next. Even non-Muslims will gain peace in this life if they abi^ by this book. This book must be introduced to every one af- every home. It must be translated into different language Insha Allah that will give much benefit.
  • 15. CHAPTER ONE SECTION ONE SOME AHADITH CONCERNING IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE 1. Sayyidina Abu Najib reported that Allah's Messenger said, "When one of you possesses the means to marry but does not marry then he has nothing to do with me." (Targheeb) 2. Sayyidina Anas reported the saying of Allah’s Messenger 5?, "When a person marries, he ar she perfects half of the religion. Now, he must fear Allah in (the remaining) half religion." (Targheeb) 3. Sayyidina Abdullah ibn Masud reported that Allah’s Messenger said, "O group of young men! Whoso among you can support a family must marry because marriage is very effective in lowering the gaze and it preserves them from immorality. For him who does not have the means, he must choose to keep fasts, for, the fast is for him like suppressing sexual desire." ----- iMishkai) tlnidad ul Falawa v2 p 258) BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE FROM POINT OF VIEW OF RELIGION AND HEREAFTER 4. Ibn Abu Najib «-* i' reported that Allah's Messenger said. He is needy! Needy! The man who has no wife." He was asked, "Even if he is very rich?” He said, "Yes, even if he has much wealth. And she is needy, needy! The woman who has no husband. He was asked, "Even if she is wealthy?" He said, "Yes, even if she is wealthy." (Razin) This is because neither of them has comfort and peace which is the objective of wealth. In marriage there is much benefit in religious and worldly life. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p 187)
  • 16. 31 The Islamic Marrj. 30 _____________________ ___ • A married person is safe from sin add bi- at Most of all. he also gains reward because ifa us an *if{ sit together and exchange conversation in an atmosP ere o[ love, and they joke together then that is better than offerj^ optional salah. Zewar 5. Sayyidah Ayshah ii narrated that the Prophet s said, "Marry women! They will bring you wealth." (Bo. COMMENTS When both husband and wife are intelligent and well wishers of one another, the husband will realise that bn responsibilities have multiplied and will work harder while bn wife will make arrangements that he cannot do to relieve he of worry and give him comfort. This is tantamount to bring® wealth. (Hayat ul Muslimeen) || 6. Sayyidian M‘aqil ibn Yasar a . repOrted that ihe ■ Prophet & said, "Marry- women who are prolific, for. I W will take pride in your larger numbers over other people.’ F’ Doh oo/. Nasal. Haya! ul Muslin" WARNING ON NOT MARRYING 7. Sayyidina Abu Zarr reported in a lengthy Hade that Allah's Messenger & asked Akkaf " Areva married?" He said, "No!" The Prophet said, "And ya are a man of means, wealthy?" He confirmed that he uas The Prophet & said, "In that case, you are among the devil's brethren. If you were of the Christian then ya could have been their monk." "Indeed, to marry is to follow our path. The worst ofw are those who do not marry. The worst of those who die. die before they marry. Do you lean towards the devil? The dev. has no better weapon than women to entrap the righteous. B1 - those who have married are very pure and safe trv. indecency. 0 Akkaf, woe to you! Get yourself marr- otherwise you will stay- behind. "(Ahmed - Imdad ul Fau»a-»- p- The Islamic Marriage MARRIAGE IS A FORM OF WORSHIP If Shari ah enjoins anything, or encourages one to do it or promises reward thereon, then that is religion. If anything lacks these things then that is a worldly affair. On this basis, marriage is a religious affair because Shari'ah has emphasised upon it under certain circumstances and encouraged it in others and observed reward for that, and has criticised abstinence from it. This is why the classifications of marriage created by the jurist do not have but all classes as binding and superior than voluntary worship though in some cases they may be undesirable because ofsome hindrance. (ibid) SECTION TWO .MARRIAGE IS A DEALING BIT NOT A WORLDLY AFFAIR Fasting is undoubtedly a religious matter. In certain circumstances, it calls for punishment too of which the usulis (fundamentalists) have explained in the last of expiation. Nevertheless, there is no touch of the world in it. Similarly, if marriage is a deal then too how can it be said to be worldly? Rather, punishment is more distant to worship than a deal is. So-when punishment coupled with worship could not make it worldly than how will dealings coupled with worship make it worldly? iMid ul Fau*a p268i OBJECTIVES AND BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE Allah has said in the Qur'an: »zz /zz£ > that you nw^f I°U SP°U5eS from amon£ y°urse'vCS ' >ou may find repose in them , ,,, , He said:
  • 17. 32 The Islamic Man,,. 1.JC Your wives are a tillage for you. (2: 223) 1. A wife gives peace and comfort and shares her husbanc problems. Man is instinctively inclined to friendship m love and a wife is ideal for that. Woman is a unique creation. She is responsible to deliv children and look after the house. She is a great supports shows mercy to her. She guards your property and childrt and your honour in your absence. 2. Man is naturally inclined to sex. Nature has placedL satisfaction in his wife. Allah has said that she is a tillc for her husband where he may sow his seed. Just asm has to attend to his fields, so too a husband has to attend her, and he may find satisfaction in her. 3. The desire man and woman have for one another is hum instinct which they attain through marriage. That grot true love and pure thoughts. But if it is satisfied throne unlawful ways, it takes man to impurity and evil though Thus, marriage is a means of taking man to purity & away from impurity. (Al-Masalih al Aqliyah pl92> INTENTION BEHIND MARRIAGE 4. We know from the Qur'an that marriage promotes chase righteousness, health and lineage. The main aim marriage is what Allah has mentioned the Qur'an. "Mi" that you may be righteous and pray that you have pu1- children. In wedlock and not in licence (4 : 24) 5. And he said: The Islamic Marriage 33 6. When he marries, a man binds himself and works hard to earn a livelihood for himself. He shirks from doing unnecessary work. The qualities of love, modesty, and faithfulness are found in him and he lives a very simple life shunning extravagance. He thus is protected from many diseases. 7. Marriage is good for health. It gives peace and comfort. It is pleasing and improves life in both worlds. 8. There is nothing better than marriage for a better culturous life. It is the root of patriotism. If this were not introduced among men, life would have been lonely and there would not have been homes and gardens nor signs of a people. (Al-Masalih al Aqliyah). WISDOM BEHIND MARRIAGE If a person is not afforded a proper means to satisfy' sexual impulse then there would be corruption and shamelessness because he or she will seek satisfaction from every available means. This is why Shari'ah has proposed marriage, and it shows that Shari'ah is more well-wishing than intelligence which could never tolerate the meeting of two complete strangers in an intimate relationship. But if intelligence was obeyed then there would have been mischief all round, for, there would have followed innumerable intimate relationships. Men and women would have given up patience and thrown aside caution. This is why Shari'ah proposed marriage and this is the sign of the religion being heavenly, for it has its eyes on consequences. (Huquq uz Za»jayu/i) Thus intelligence regards modesty marriage as immodest. But the Propher & prescribed marriage to protect modesty. If it is given up once then all humanity will become shameless. (Huquq uz Zawjayn) ISLAMIC COMMAND According to the Hadith: Seek what Allah has prescribed for you (2: 187)
  • 18. The Islamic Martig 35 "He who has the means must marry because it protects the eyesight and chastity." It is a strong possibility that chastity is available easily to a sound disposition through marriage. We do not talk of evil dispositions who do not get chastity after a marriage or evtt after four marriages and even after Mutah and adultery. % talk of human beings, not of animals and monkeys, (ibid) OBJECTIVES The Islamic Marriage your large numbers." (Ibid) OTHER ADVANTAGES lust as dress is an adornment for men and women, so too man and woman are adornments for one another. If a mamed man requests for a debt, he will get U because he is not alone and cannot run away, but a single man is not trusted. People are not apprehensive of a married man having evil intentions on their wives and daughters. But they do not trust an unmarried man. And of His sign is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves that you may find repose in them. And He has put love and mercy between L you.(30:21) F In short, women are created that your hearts may fiK peace through them. I say that youth is the time of love win both have strong emotion and old age is the time o: compassion. In old age none besides a wife can be of help. (Nasratun Nisa. Huquq uz Za^i NOT MERELY EATING The foolish say that marriage is merely to eat and drink !' that was so then the rich u'ould abstain from marriage, b even daughters of kings do marry. Thus, there are otte objectives of marriage. The biggest objective of marriage is to procreate. Tb Prophet & said; "Marry such woman as is prolific and more lovable because on the~Day of Resurrection, I w ill take pride in Similarly, a married woman is more respected than an unmarried woman who is more prone to blame. (Rata al lltibas p-45). DISADVANTAGES OF AN UNMARRIED LIFE Thus, when marriage is like a garment then to stay unmarried is to remain naked. Thus, one may say that unmarried life is defective if the concerned have the ability marrv. (Haquq az Zawjayn) . per® needs 1» man) ye. does no. dwn ta. would would lack savour and interest. Some people give in to temptation and go to women. Others who protect their outward sanctity keep away from women but fall prey to young boys, which is a greater mischief because women are, after all, allowed in marriage while homosexuality is absolutely unlaw ful. Some people are safe from illegal sex but fall into (he introductory doings like kissing, caressing, and so on. They bracket such doings with elderly compassion. We seek refuge "> Allah from mischief, the apparent and the hidden. Uriah Inqtlab, p-41). Some people do not marry although they have a need to it the XabJtht0 SUPP°n' Some refrain l0l2,ly *nd some
  • 19. The Islamic Marriage 36 MARRIAGE WHEN NINETY YEARS OLD A rpan in Shahjahanpur married at the age of ninety years. His sons, daughters and daughters-in-law demurred and asked him, "Why do you need to marry when we are here to sene you? He said, "You do not understand. None can comfort as a wife may." Suddenly, he fell ill. He had acute dysentery and a pungent, unbearable odour surrounded him. His home was filled with the stench. None of his sons and daughters came near to him. They detested him and deserted him to stay apan from him. Only his wife served him in this plight though she was a newly-wed and young. She made him sit while he relieved himself, washed and cleaned him and washed his garments too though this happened twenty to twenty-five times a day. She then made him lie down. The old man said, "Thisis why I had married." When he recovered, he sent for his children and said, "Did you see how' you served me? If I has J not married, I would have rotted in the stench." Indeed, daughters and daughters-in-law cannot nurse a sick father as a wife can. Allah has placed this comfort only in th: husband-wife relationship. This is the worldly comfort fromt wife. (Al-Tabligh, v-3 p-146) ANOTHER CASE A Man who married was weak and managed with tonics. A physician prescribed a heavy dose that had counter - indication* in the shape of leprosy. Everyone stayed away from him, bJ his wife served him loyally. What a sacrifice and love! does the husband value her for that? (Haquq uz Zawjayn, pp-161. 552, Al-lfadat Yowmiyahp--' MAWALANA FADLUR RAHMAN MARRIED WHEN ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD When his first wife died, Mawlana Fadlur Rahman married at the last stages of his life at the age 100 y^ He was incapacitated with ulcer and only a wife could attend1' him. The kind woman took care of him with a smiling The Islamic Marriage______________________________________ 37 She cleaned his wound many times during the day and night. (ibid p-533, Al-Tabligh v-4 p-147) HAJI SAHIB's SECOND MARRIAGE IN OLD AGE The respected Haji Sahib it took a second wife in his old age because his respected first wife became sightless. He married that his new wife might look after him. Indeed, she served him and her co-wife too. These cases show that a wife is not taken merely to satisfy the sexual urge but there are other reasons too. (Nusrai un Nisa, p-553). WARNING TO THE UNMARRIED According to a Hadith. u- y (If anyone who has the urge and the ability to support does not marry then he is not on our path). For, he walks on the path of the Christians who regard marriage as a hindrance to the approach to Allah, and abstain from it. They consider celibacy as an act of worship. (Malfuzai Ashraliyah, p-386) Those who regard a life of celibacy as worship actually have a monk s belief and create an innovation in religion. Shari'ah's command to marry is the real thing and to neglect it is not worship. (blah lnqitab v-2 p-40) WHY THE W ARNING When it becomes necessary to wed. neglect may cause much mischief because there may be a severe urge or an absolute urge which cannot be suppressed even after taking medicine for it. There was a seventy year old man who loved a young boy. He was a spent force but he had an urge to look at the boy with sexual inclinations which is surely forbidden. A mujahidah (a strenuous exercise for that) cannot eliminate the urge. In fact, it cannot be removed by old age, medicine or reduction in diet. Only mujahidah can bring it down to a low level so that it becomes easier to control. If the urge is totally eliminated, how can there be a reward for that? One gets reward for fighting the urge and engaging in pious work steadfastly. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-158)
  • 20. 39 38 rhe Islamic Marriage The Islamic Marriage EXCUSES FOR NOT MARRYING If anyone has an excuse (because of which he cannoi marry) then he does not come under the purview of the above mentioned Hadith. The excuse may be physical or monetary Or, it may be a valid religious excuse. The former kind is obvious while the latter is reflected in weakness after marriage so that he cannot attend to religious duties properly. (Or. he may not be able to give rights of his wife because of his occupation in religious duties). (Al-Malfuzat Ashrafiyah. p-386) If a man would be unable to give rights of his wife whether it is physical or monitory then it is forbidden for him to mam (Islah Inqilab. pAO AHADITH ON THE EXCUSES Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah -i' reported that Allah's Messenger said, "A time will come for the people when 2 man's destruction will be at the hands of his wife, parentsand children. They will rebuke him on his poverty and 1 helplessness, and will demand such things as he cannot provide. So, he will do such things as will harm his religion and he will be destroyed." According to Abu Saeed, a man brought his daughter toile Prophet and said that she refused to marry anyone. He said to her, "Obey your father (concerning marriage)." She said- "By Him who has sent you with die true religion, I will nd marry till you tell me the rights of a husband over his wife The Prophet mentioned them and she submitted, " B) Allah, I will never marry!" He said, "(When women ha'e authority of Shari'ah), do not marry them without the*1 permission." The first Hadith mentions the excuse for men and d1' second mentions women's excuse<or not marrying. She not be able to give him his rights, so the Prophet Sa exc#5^ her. Similarly, if a widow' fears that her children might be F' in jeopardy if she marries another man then according10' Hadith she too is excused. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p-132) SECTION THREE THE JURISTIC COMMAND WAJIB (OBLIGATORY) When there is an impulsive urge and sufficient means are available even so that he can support on a day-to-day basis then it is wajib (obligatory) for him to marry. Neglect will be sinful. FARD (.ABSOLUTE OBLIGATORY) And if he has the means and an unrepulsive urge that might plunge him into unlawful sex then it is fard (an absolute obligation) to marry. jfaji fiyji j (Unlawful sex includes the forbidden glance and masturbation). Ml'SNUN (RECOMMENDED) If it is not necessary and the means are available then it is sunnah to marry. FORBIDDEN However, if he is not likely to give the rights of a wife then though he may have the urge and the means, it is certainly disallowed for him to marry. DIFFERENT CONDITIONS If he has the urge but not the means then there are different opinions about that, but I prefer the ruling that it is wajib. He can work hard to earn a livelihood or borrow money with a firm resolve to repay and try his best to do it. If he fails to repay in spile of his effort then Allah might induce the creditor to forgive him because he had married to protect his religion. However, it is not allowed to borrow' for unnecessary reasons. He is allowed to borrow only to provide sustenance and to pay the dower if it is a prompt dower. (Islah Inqilab v2pp-39-40)
  • 21. 40 WHAT SHOULD A POOR MAN DO The Islamic Marri^ A man came to me. He had a tremendous sexual urgelo marry but he was poor and had no means to marry. He sough- a remedy. Before I could say anything, a man (an Ahl Hadithi said. "Keep fasts, here is a Hadith that prescribes it." The mar protested. "I have observed fasts too but that did not help■ The other man had no answer. I asked him. "How many fasts did you keep?" I made s® that the other should hear us. He said. I kept two fasts." 1 said. "This is why you did not succeed because you should fast for many days and this is what the Hadith says. (fj-aJida suggesting compulsion through (ala). Compulsion is oft»t kinds, in belief and in practice. Here, it cannot be the form:: kind, for fasting itself is not fard but a remedy. Itisi compulsory practice which has to be often repeated. Thus, if anyone does something again and again, and abundantly thent is understood that he has bound himself to it. Thus, the Prophet ££ meant that he should keep many fasts." It is known fro: experience that a few fasts are not enough to curb the aninu instinct. This is why worshippers do not feel weak in the ear? days of Ramadhan but become feeble towards the end of tht month. Thus, the animal instinct does not subside in earl) Ramadhan but becomes stronger, on the contrary; gradually.t the days wear off, it becomes weaker. By that time there ha« been plenty of fasts. (Al-lfadat al-Yawneiyah, -9p-165. -10p-lM IS A FATHER RESPONSIBLE AND DOES NE COMMIT SIN Bl DELAYING HIS CHILDEN'S MARRIAGE? Question: is there a firm command to marry daughters oh Is it sinful to delay their marriage? If so, how much? Givey® answer in the light of the Qur'an and Hadith. Answer: The command is stressed in the Qur'an and also found in the Ahadith in a general way and both sons daughters are included, also it applies to daughters particularly IWslam^Marriage^_^__=______^_________2£ And wed the'spouseless among you..... (24-32) (to the end of the vers) The spouseless may be a virgin or a widow, an unmarried man or a widower. As for ahadith, we find in Miskkat in the chapter observing Salah early in its period. } CJl Ijl jjLJi la/jJ 11 b JU ^Ji jl (jJbjdi Jljj) Ij-sS" LjJ Ijl ..if Ijl 1. The Prophet & Said. "0 Ali! There are three things that you must not postponerSalah when its time comes, a funeral when it is ready, and the marriage of a spouseless boy or girl when a suitable match is found.” (Tinmzn j 'aJj J aJj Jyjj Jia Jd uh Uid US’ >>Ud j jd v-jy~d«—b ijli ajji 2. The Prophet & said, "One who has children must give them a good name, impart them teaching and training and w hen they are of age marry them off. If he does not marry them off and they commit a sin then the sin will be on the father. ’ wA*Mj J1* & Jx)j* ♦hi uh j l- ^ji 4iyi cut 6M1 vjC jl Jj) jU’j 3. The Prophet & said, It was written in the Torah that if anyone's daughter turns twelve years of age and he did not marry her off and she committed a sin then the sin will te on her father.”
  • 22. The Islamic £ These narrations are evidence ol the emphasis Negk an emphasised command attracts punishment. The concludj Khadidi disclose the size of the sin. The father will earnr according to the nature of his children's sin. (Imdad al Fatawap-h CHAPTER TWO CONCERNING A WIFE SECTION ONE VIRTUES OF A WIFE Allah has made marriage such a relationship that no one other than a wife can make a man’s life comfortable. Sometimes, all relatives display contempt in illness but a wife will never desert her husband. She is the most comforting to het husband in his illness. (at-Tabligh, v-14 p-146) THE BEST FRIEND There can, never be a greater friend in the world than a wife In time of poverty and hardship, all show their backs, even parents, but a wife always stays by the side of her husband. The same is experienced in illness. So, there is no friend of man like his wife in the world. (Huquq ul Bayt, p-22) IMPORTANCE OF WOMEN AND VALUING THEIR SUPPORT Women have a particular effect through their service. They sene like slaves. If they serve after realising their greatness then they would go to great heights. Indeed, men are dependent on them, otherwise, men would know how they stand. The Prophet $ said, ’Three things are dear to me: (women, scent and miwak (toothbrush of twig)." Their doings and personality are worth considering. The Prophet's & liking them was not out of lust. (Malhuzat Jadid Malfuzat, p-28). WIFE IS A GREAT BENEFACTOR Women have a right because they are helpless and another right because they are friendly to their husband. We have seen
  • 23. 44 The Islamic Mam* that the right of a friend is greater A xxife is cMcemable because she helps protect religion at ex 11 thoughts Thus, she is a great benefactor. The religio minded xalue her fax our and she must be given esteem and hr nghts must be given to her. for. she has some characterise each <xf which has many rights. (Al-Tabligh v-14. p-14). 149) WAFES SACRIFICE 45 No matter xxhat kind of a xvife she is. slovenly or rude , sb has left her parents and family for you. She has only your sight, only her husband to count on. So, human natun demands that such a faithful one should not be hurt. (ibidpTi Thus, if her husband has a dispute with her patentin' other relatives. she generally sides with her husband In spit of that some husbands commit excess on them. They treat then worse than slaves and some do not even give them food air Clothing. (Majalis Hakim ul Ummah p-112, Al Tabligh -14p-14 FAX OURS OF WOMEN I sax that if a wife does not work at home but merely supervises and administers the working then this is enough for. such a work fetches large salary in the world. At administrator is given great respect. Look at a viceroy H< does nothing. He has an army' of servants at his command wh' are answerable to him, and because of his responsibility, ht earns a large salary and respect. Wives too have a simile position dial cannot be compensated with merely provision. B> we see noble daughters doing household chores w ith their o" hands. They raise children with devotion. The paid nurse cK never equal a wife in such work. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-149) A Mawlawi (religious leader) used to say that it is for women to cook food. But, I do not agree with him and1 take my cue from this verse <30.21) Thf klMWC Marriage .reaied to please you not to cook for you. (ibid p-551) MISMANAGEMENT WITHOUT WIFE A house cannot be managed properly without a wife. Man s work is only to eam a living and only women can give the home life. There are many rich men who had not married, so their homes were in bad shape. One may employ cooks and servants, but he cannot get the comfort which evades him without a wife. A paid cook can walk out suddenly and he will have no sympathy for his master while a wife will never leave her husband in the lurch. Besides, servants will work more efficiently if a wife is there The nannys and other servants will not pilfer much when a woman supervises over them, but without her the house will be in doldrums. However, if a man has some experience of household chores then the servants are more organised but not as much as a woman would disciplined them. (At Tabligh, v-14 p-148) Indeed, your wives work for you against the maintenance you provide them, but no servant would work as much if he were given a like amount in salary. Some unmarried people who had employed servants spent much of their salary in housekeeping which came down when they married. (Haquq uz Zawjayn, p-149) SECTION TWO MERIT OF A VILLAGE WOMAN The women of villages are ill -mannered and dumb and unskilled. But their good quality is that they are not cunning or fraudulent, and they are very chaste and pure. (Malfuzat Khabrat v-3p-35) The Qur'an speaks of the merits of women olojJi cOtiuJi (naive and believing women)1. This means that unawareness of outside affairs is the distinction of women. The verse could also mean unawareness of indecency, not total lack of knowledge. But, though this quality is also desired in men, yet (Already translated, sec-2 chap-1). Thus, women
  • 24. 47 40 I hr Islamic Mam* ii >«. expressed her. in praise of women, not men. This shorn ih«t vxal ibvnv c ot know ledge too is more suitable in women The unworthy then dare to advocate giving up of the veil in the name ot advance and progress. Amazing waste matter lies tn their minds' kW-IMAh al i’anmivah v-J p-141). b she possesses all kinds of skill but lacks modesty then she is everything but a woman. This is a necessary quality for marriage Here excellences are meaningless if she is immodest (Islah Inqilab. p-41> Indeed, most women of India are such as know no more of the world than their own corner. This is their greatness that fits the description that Allah has made in verse: Vcrae they keep themselves in bad shape, unadorned and do ■ 'i know the art of moving about and conversation or of 1 v>king after children, but just one trait, chastity, overshadows all these shortcomings. I am much satisfied with such women. They are not pretenders and this is a gem which we must valued INusratun Nisa) It is my experience that the woman who lacks skill of management is chaste. If anyone is worried about such a woman then he must recall this gem of quality in her so that his heart will be at peace. This is what the Qur'an teaches. The chaste, naive, believing women o Then it is quiet likely that you dislike something and Allah has placed in it a lot of good. (4 : 19) (Majalis Hakim ul Ummat, p-11) Since Allah praises women's innocence and unawareness, so indeed that is good. But there is no good in what you propose. Experience will disclose it. The women of India do I have the qualities the Qur'an prescribes for women. (Huquq ul Bayt, p-44 EXCELLENCE OF ILL-MANNERED BAD SKILLED WOMEN Someone lamented that lack of skill in some women buns their husbands at times. Their dumbness is an excellence dial is very dear and esteemed because it grows in them chastity Unchaste women are always occupied in their make-up outward show and neatness. Similarly, some women are rude and quick-tempered, bull do not doubt their chastity in the least. Unchaste women keep tliemselves sweet and polished and have an outward civilised approach. This is dangerous. They are cunning and the) conceal their mischief as a cat hides her excretion and the) deceive man. I am not pleased with such women. As for 0* unskilled women, one may find their dumbness disagreeabk OLD WIFE WORTH ESTEEM Some people despise an old wife though they themselves have worn her out. Mawlana Fadi ur Rehman said, "An old wife becomes a nanny. In the beginning, she is sweet and pleasing but it is in the end that the advantages multiply, for, she is affable and helpful. These are more worthy benefits than pleasure. I always say that youth is the time to love when both parties are emotional while old age is the time to show compassion. Indeed, no one but a wife is helpful in old age. The wife of Mawlana Muhammad Mazhar teacher at Madrasah Mazahir ul Uloom had grown old, but he was so devoted to her that when she had minor ailments too, he would take leave from the Madrasah to nurse her with his own hands. He did not leave that to the maid servants. lal-Tabligh v-14, p-142, Huquq uz Zawjayn pp-355 and 550). A STORY There was a rich man from England. He was influential in government circles. His wife died and the Collector paid him a visit to condole with him. The rich man commented in broken
  • 25. 49 The Islamic Man®, ii ■ - - “ Vrdu. She was not mx wife Indeed, she was my anima y led me !xv food. and she aimed me in summer and gaven, cool water to dunk He wept while he said that. This was a European, not much educated. He soke soof ot simplicity But 1 read w ith my own eyes the statement of, HunJu leader. "She is not my wife but my mother.' educated man said that. This is not something to boast abw. However. 1 do say that only a w'ife is helpful in old age. (Nusratun Nisa ■ Malfuz, pty SECTION THREE MERITS OF INDIAN WOMEN LOVE HUSBANDS 1 always say that Indian women are angles, not in beau? but tn manners. They have many merits. (at-Tabligh, p-51) They are maids of Paradise who are described as (lovers of their husbands). They endure the hardshr men cause them otherwise there would be divorces everyday! happens elsewhere. The Arabs are the foremost in this regard.' I found a twenty one year old girl who had married the sevens ume. There, women do not hesitate to approach the judge J flimsy grounds who is always sympathetic to women to divot® her. In India, however, no woman tolerates divorce, but if at is concerned into seeking divorce then she is not happy ah' it For instance, a woman in Kanpur filed a suit against K husband and the judge upheld her plea and ordered the husba> to divorce her. Though she had requested it, yet she hysterically on being divorced, crying, "I have perished (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-150) Indeed, love of their husband runs in the veins of ln^ women CHASTITY Their greatest quality of chastity calls to mind the vet* The h’.vmc Mamage the Qur'an. Wherein are maidens of restraining glances whom neither men will have touched before them nor jinn. (55 : 56) Indeed. Indian women surpass all other women in these characteristics. Some men are ugly, but their wives do not cast a look at anyone else. They keep themselves within their homes, but even those Indian women who go out of homes are often pure and chaste. They lower their gaze and veil themselves and do not even greet anyone on the way. They are modest before men but also before female strangers and old women. They do not generally answer a man, but, if they have to. then they merely answer in gestures. They are also chaste who go out of their homes. Perhaps a rare one who is astray may be ignored; such a one is disowned by other women. 1 do say that perhaps, one in a hundred men would keep his gaze low but only are in a hundred women would be immodest. (at-Tabligh v-1 p-52, v-14 p-139) The Indian women are not inclined to any man besides their husbands and some of them never get the temptation for another man all their lives. If they learn of any man thinking of them then they detest him very much. In Europe, it is the converse, women are very kind to one who pay them attention. The Indian woman's love for her husband is peculiar to the land of India and the Hindu rite of satti stems from it. When a Hindu husband dies, his widow bums herself at his pyre. India’s culture is a woman’s love for her husband; Arabia's peculiarity is a husband's inclination for his wife. But the worst thing is found in Persia where a man is attracted to another man. (Huquq UZ Zawjayn, p-151) PATIENCE Women are normally so helpless that they do not complain
  • 26. 1 lu- Islamic Main*, 30 anx.nc I > > n if bet parents are alive, the noble woman d> «.t>inplaii« Aidin'.! her husband. (at-Tabligh, v-14. p I39> I he lnd>an women are not like Arab women who go t, voutts tor ! ;;le things The Indian women tremble at th; ihough ot courts Even if they are put to death, they will notg, to <oi;n They might talk among themselv’es as is their habit but thev will not approach the authorities. Of course, we wif find an occasional one now and then, but, most of them don<> take recourse to law . «« Tabligh. v-7 p-56) 51 SFLf SATISFACTION Those Arab women or Indian women of princely state who approach the courts get their husbands to apportion then allow ances or divorce them. In the latter case, they hasten to claim their dower. In some countries, the dower is paid on marriage promptly It is only the Indian women who forgive the dowtt and endure without a regular maintenance allowance. (ibid, v-14 p-141 In Arabia, women demand their dowry from their husband' by coercion but this is considered very bad in India. The Indian women do not bring the name dower on their tongues, and the' forgive it when their husbands die. (ibid, v-7 p-51). If a guest arrives suddenly, they would not let the prestige f their husbands suffer. They would offer whatever they have to the guest These manners raise ranks, but most men lack them (a Tahhgh. v-3 p-54) faithfelness The Indian women outclass all other women. Once they marry , they attach themselves to their husbands to the extent of preferring them over their own parents. They generally take the side of their husbands. If a husband is poor, his wife will toil hard and earn to feed her husband. The Indian woman willingly waits for her husband even if he goes missing for fifty years. When he returns, he will find his wife exactly as he had left her. (at Tabligh v-3 p-59) As we have stated, even it they have to seek divorce because of extreme cruelty by their husband, they would weep and lament on getting it. This is very worthwhile among women that they love their husbands. Then, does this behaviour call for mistreating them? Or, that they should be separated? THOUGHT FOR HUSBAND Thus, Indian women are free of defect. They have main merits. They are so devoted to their husbands that they w quarrel with their husband, cry and argue but only so long * they have nothing to do. But, the moment a husband is ups*1 they become submissive. Immediately, they will give up everything personal and serve him unflinchingly not carryii'i for their own food and drink and sleep. They throw themself to serve him. In every day life loo, they behave with the same selfie spirit No woman would eat her meal before her husband tk* And she gives him the best food.
  • 27. CHAPTER THREE CONCEDING WIDOWS ' MARRIAGE OF WIDOW It is because of ignorance that people look down upon a uidou marrying again. In fact, some people are so savage that if a fiance dies, his fiancee will remain unmarried all her wife. As for a widow, she generally has to give up thought of a second marriage whether she is a child, a teenager or older (han that. Though some people might have learnt from listening to scholars that there is nothing wrong in it, yet they do not pay attention to remarrying a girl who is windowed. (Istah Inqilab, v-2 p-32). CUSTOM OF JAHILIYAH This custom was found among the Arabs too. When a man died, his widow was not allowed to remarry so that his wealth remained in his name. The same custom prevails in India so that the dead man's assets are not divided. 0 men! You have to correct it. Do remove this custom of jahiliyah (Ignorance of re-Islamic days). (Udal al-Jahiliyah, Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-348) WIDOW MARRIAGE FARD Under certain circumstances, a second marriage is also fard (absolute obligatory) like the first. For instance, the widow might be young and could have the emotions and, if she does not marry then she might commit sin; or, she might need someone to support her. Poverty might compel her to wrong-doing. (Islah ur Rusum, p-104) WlDOW'S MARRIAGE MORE NECESSARY THAN A VIRGIN'S If we look at it carefully, a widow's marriage is more
  • 28. The Islamic Matn»p 55 ncvc'.van than her first marriage The first time, she probahi iXilt had the knots ledge, but he second time, she also has the evnenense As a result, she is more likely to get temptation and desire1- UsM p-32). A unxht M I OS MORE ATTENTION The masses imagine that an unmarried girl needs more attention than a married one. This thought originates from the Hindus They argue that a virgin would bring bad name it she does wrong, but a married woman is protected by her mamage When a person forsakes religion, he also parts with his intelligence If we use our sense, we will see that an unmarried does not need so much protection because she is naturally shy and lias an instinctive protection. As for the married woman her shyness disappears and there is no protective bar before her. so, she needs a strong watching eye to protect het chastity Also, the unmarried has a greater fear of disgrace while the married has no fear; hence, she is more inclined io wrong-doing than the unmarried. She needs a greater watch but people have converse ideas today because they do not care if chastity is maintained. They care only to avoid disgrace andi bad name. (Udal al Jahiliyah p-368) THE EVILS OF A WIDOW NOT MARRYING Many people still let the widow live a lonely lift Sometimes, she even has not enough to subsist upon. If & observes the customary decorum then she will not work toeart a living and if she resigns to do that then she might have toll'* in the house where she works where evil men might havet'1 designs on her. They will tempt her with money or coerce I'1 ' into submission. (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-32) MARRY OFF A WINDOW EVEN IF SHE IS UNWILLING A widow might refuse to marry at once because she people might blame her as too eager to marry. She muSl asked judiciously and told of the wisdom in marrying 3-J Her fears must be set at rest and the pros and cons must be brought to her notice. If even then she does not consent, you are excused (Islah Inqilab p-32) SO HARM IF AN OLD WIDOW WITH CHILDREN DOES NOT MARRY However, if a widow has children and she is of an adsanced age and affluent then her refusal is enough provided she does not seem to be inclined to emotion, (ibid v-2 p-32) PRESS! RE OF IN-LAWS Some Muslims compel a widow’ to regard her in-laws as deciders of her fate, not her own parents and not she herself. Neither can her parents arrange her marriage with someone nor can she marry at her will. Rather, her in-laws have a right to many her where they choose, say, with her dead husband's brother She cannot go away from their home. She is helpless, for. otherwise she would be deprived of her provision. People bring to me their cases. A man complained that his sister-in-law (dead brother's wife) refused his proposal. A woman married her daughter-in-law to her young child which means that alongwith this woman, even the men Folk in her house parted with their intelligence. A widow was married against her will at Nanatyah and sent forcebly to her in-laws. A woman was married during her waiting period (iddah) lest she marry someone of her choice after the iddah. People then complain that they are afflicted with pestilence. If they throw the lawful overboard and observe the unlawful then why should they not face pestilence? (Udal al-Jahiliyah, p-374) INLIMITED OPPRESSION In short, women are being much oppressed. People imagine that they have all rights over women. The result is that women have resigned into believing that they are a properly of other people. They do not think that they are wronged. In fact, the wronged one sometimes becomes the wrongdoing. For
  • 29. 56 The Islamic Marriage example, a husband died leaving nothing. His parents are fed up with their daughter-in-law and want her to go away, but she maintains that she belongs there and will not go to her parents. Each side wrongs and oppresses the other. (Udal al Jahiliyah p-383). IGNORANT OPPOSITION TO SHARPAH In short, the ignorant regard their daughter-in-law as their properly. The in-laws over rule the girl's parents and imagine it is their right. So, this is the first sin. They hinder the rights of her parents. This is the second sin. The third is that they usurp the young girl's right to marry at her choice and will. They took away the widow's liberty, rejected her parent's right and enforced their own right. What is saddening is that these people present themselves as good-doers in marrying-off a window though, in fact, they observed none of the real widoms of the marriage. Such cruelty was perpetrated in Arabia too. The Prophet Eliminated that. He said that he. 1 Allah and the angels cursed six people; one of those was he who re-introduces the custom of jahiliyah. You are opposing Shari'ah if you do that. For God's sake give up these pagan customs. Try to eliminate them. (Uddal al Jahiliyah, p-384). FORCED MARRIAGE Some people argue that they had made the widow give an assent with her tongue. But this is a mere formality so that no one may blame them for compulsion. A widow's marriage is not legal without her verbal consent, so they obtain it. Bui. sometimes they marry her off without even asking, and even those consent do oppress her, for, they think of themselves as her masters. Secondly,‘they do not recognise her parent’s authority. . (ibid, p-374) THE DUTIES OF IN-LAWS OF A WIDOW - ISLAMIC TEACHINGS When her husband dies, his parents must give the wido"'
  • 30. The Islamic Marriage______________________________________________________ 57 their daughter-in-law, her share of inheritance. After the iddah. her waiting period, they must entrust her to her parents and not keep her with them. They may, if they like, marry her off to someone. (Udal al-Jahilihah, p-384)
  • 31. CHAPTER FOUR ON EQUALITY SECTION ONE IMPORTANCE AND WRONGS OF MARRYING OUTSIDE Shari'ah has recognised some characteristics in Kifa'at (equality), resemblance). It is better that the bride should be of an equal standing with the bridegroom because if status differs then manners and habits also differ which creates misunderstanding between them. So. why is it necessary to disrupt a Muslim woman for the rest of her life? Besides, it would also create difficulties in the weddings of their children; the communit}- members will not recognise them as equals. (Islah Inqilab pp-25 etc ) A marriage with a non-equal lowers a noble woman as partner of a lower status man. She does not eye her husband with respect and this defeats the purpose of the marriage. ttbid v-2. p-111). Recognition of equality is to remove hindrance. The actual standard is presence or absence of hindrance. dnukid ul Fahnw p-3710. STANDARD IS MEASURED FROM HUSBAND’S POINT OF VIEW This means that a husband should not be of a status lower than his wife. But. it can be tolerated from the other side. Some people say that a girl of a lower standard must not be taken for a man. for, that would spoil the lineage, but a man of a lower standard may take a girl of a higher standard because that improves descent. But this is very wrong and it opposes Shan'ah. The juristic ruling is: j! jiU i—id J' 4-il—9; j» ijfu i
  • 32. 60 _________________________________________ The Islamic Mans, j ^j-tU litj> jj$c Al' a.'rtji; "Equality is from the man's side because a woman of high birth refuses to be a partner of a man of lower rank. Equality is not from the woman's side because the husband is the owner of the bed and he does noi show contempt on using the bed. This issue is correct in everyone's sight." (Islah Inqilab p-12). MARRIAGE OF UNEQUAL There are many kinds of marriages among unequal ! some case, such marriage is void while in some others in valid and there is no option to annul it. In yet other cases, n correct but there is option to annul it. THE FIRST KIND Marriage of unequal without permission of adult woe who is a blood relation. The marriage is not valid. They w. commit sin all their life if they stay together. THE SECOND KIND If a father or a grandfather has married off a minor tot unequal and the father and grandfather are not malicious the the marriage is valid and there is no option to annul it excel under certain circumstances. THE THIRD KIND If a guardian other than father or grandfather, or a or grandfather who are known to be malicious or (they)**5 in an intoxicated state marry off a minor to an unequal then15 marriage is void. THE FORTH KIND If an adult woman is married to an unequal permission of her guardian then this marriage is valid one has option to annul it. (al Hilah al Najizah pp-105-106).
  • 33. 61 The Islamic Marriage SECTION TWO ON LINEAGE DEFINITION The characteristics of equality include lineage. (Imdad al Fatawa. v-2 p-369) However in common law it is peculiar to personal nobility whether religious or worldly and taken into account with lineage to measure equality. This is evidenced in the justice language li/jhlUjiiUa and its basis is common law. WISDOM IN' EQUALITY OF LINEAGE 0 mankind! Surely We have created you from a male and a female and have made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. (19:13) (And know you blood relations and give their rights accordingly to neatness). Without the nations and tribes, it would have been extremely difficult to recognise the different families and clans. Names are generally similar and many have the same name. Some distinction is possible also from the place of residence, from neighbourhoods and from tribes. However, people have made that a basis of pride and there are two kind of people. Some have done away with reference to lineage imagining that this verse speaks of different tribe only to recognise them. This prompted some people to reject nobility of descent. However, other verses of the Qur'an, and some Ahadith must be seen too. (al-Tabligh al Akramiyeh, v-18 p-21)
  • 34. The Islamic Mar, ------ jjf Islamic Marriage 63 the? feel disgraced to toe other people and a warlike situation arises. Besides, man protects u/ho, i, > ,. „ ™ n . Vha ^ongs to his family. Thus, as an imam the Quraysh will nmtprt ■ ■ 1 “i protect religion in two ways: 1)11 belongs to his clan, and .) religious relationship. Thus, difference in lineage is not 4. without purpose, and it is from Allah. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-193). Furthermore, a Hadith quotes the Prophet as saying: wij—S' l_P When the Muslims lost foot in the Battle of Hunayn, the Prophet $ advanced his horse and said, "I am the Prophet. It is not a lie and I am the son of Abdul Muttalib." He meant, "1 am of noble descent and will never be defeated. He warned the enemy, taking pride on his descent. If nobility was not something then why would he say, "1 am the son of Abdul Muttalib?" 5. According to a Hadith, "Allah chose from the offspring of Sayyidina Ibrahim Sayyidina Ismail and from his offspring the Kinanah and from them the Quraysh and from them the Banu Hashim and from them he chose me. 6. We read in another Hadith: e* A1 jiy ? a/' ^') (A-/ cS’) Allah created a|j creatures and placed me among the best of them. Then He (hem jn lwQ sectjons an(] Placed me tn the ■ into tribes and m “ He made them Sish). Then JCCd me the beSt tr‘be (the Placed me in the b ° made ltiem int0 f?am‘1*es antJ est family (Banu Hashim). Thus, I 62 NOBILITY OF DESCENT IS REAL 1. Allah has said, o_y—J I J3 3 LLyl Ail, And certainly We sent Nuh and Ibrahim, and we appointed in the progeny of the twain, the Prophethood and the Book. (57:26) Thus, the offspring of Ibrahim have excellence over th; rest of the tribe, for, prophethood and the Book will be rt them. 2. Ahadith: a-nflhj jj' oibuiS' dibu ,Ai "The people are like mines of gold and silver. The best of them in Jahiliyah are the best in Islam too, when they have secured knowledge too." The jurist of an unrecognised lineage is not equal to ajuts of a recognised lineage. The jurist of a recognised lineatts superior. But a scholar of an unrecognised lineage is super# to an ignorant person even if he is of a recognised line# Anyway, the Hadith emphasises that lineage is worn considering. 3. Another Hadith: urd.j---------- «A*-------------------~ ' There is certainly some reason why the Prophei* associated imamat (leadership) with the Quraysh. He limU* the major imamat to the Quraysh and the minor to nobility descent. (Islah Inqilab p-109, al Tabligh v-18 p-220) » Allah has given the Quraysh excellence. The chiefs "ill from them and others will not hesitate to follow them «f-
  • 35. 65 64 The Islamic Marna([ = am the best of them inherently and in terms of family." (Tirmizi - Translation: Mishfe These quotations leave no doubt that descent does not lac) nobility, though it does not imply the noblest. The standards1 the noblest is taqwa (righteousness, God-fearing). Surely the noblest among you in the sight of Allah is the most pious of you. (49 : 13) (at-Tabligh, v-18. p-222). ARROGANCE NOT LAWFUL Nobility of descent is not within one's power and so nothing to boast about, but there is no doubt that it isi blessing. Intellectually, one might boast on what is in one! power and that is knowledge and deeds though, accordinn Shari‘ah, one should not boast on that too. iMulJuzat Ashrafiyah, p-10 It is forbidden under all circumstances to be proud because of high descent. Today, not only the nobles indulge in thatte also the common show arrogance and regard themselves a equals of the nobles and do not differentiate betwee: themselves and the nobles. (Huquq uz Zawjayn. p-193) But this does not mean that nobility of descent is nothin For example, one should not be proud of one’s beauty# handsome looks, but we cannot deny that it is a blessing of1 high level. The same can be said of nobility of descent. (al-Tabligli, v-8p-H- DESCENT IS FROM FATHER There is a serious mistake in regarding the mother considering someone's descent. Thus, if his mother isc' noble, people do not consider the person to be noble and'’ equal. But, in evaluating equality of descent, Shari'ahW* rely on the mother. Similarly, other commands of Shari‘S not consider a person's mother in their application: instance, if only his mother is from Banu Hashim then' lawful for him to take zakah. Thus, a person whose father alone is noble is equal to one whose both parents are noble. (Islah Inqilab. v-2 p-108) EVIDENCE FROM SHARPAH The Arabs also do not pick faults in lineage because of mothers, for, Allah has cut at the roots of that. Sayyidina Ibrahim 49 had two wives. Sayyidah Sarah »V—huU*- was from his own clan, but Sayyidah Hajirah (•“A-Jt was a slave and Sayyidina Ismail 43 was her son, he being the father of same Arabs. Thus, the woman who is the beginning of some .Arabs was a slave. The tribes in Inida, however, look for defects in other families because of low descent of women. They should know that this is no defect because Shari‘ah does not rely on mothers in evaluating descent. (al-Tabligh al Akramiyah v-18. p-224). RELIABILITY OF SAYYID However, there is an exception to this rule. The descendants of the Prophet are Sayyid (Pl. Sadat) from his daughter, Sayyidah Fatimah Her offspring are Sayyid and more excellent than other Banu Hashim. In short, in evaluating descent, mother is not relied upon but, in case of offspring of Sayyidah Fatimah t^ An ^j, the mother is relied upon. Dependence of the Sadat (Sayyids) is on her and their higher nobility over other tribes is only because ofher. Ulis also brings to light the mistake of the Alawis who call themselves Sayyid. The beginning of Sadat is not from Sayyidina Ali 4# but from sayyidah Fatimah t^ An Thus, the offspring of Sayyidina Ali 4» from Sayyidah Fatimah ; tuAt are Sayyid but those from his other wives are not Sayyid, but Alawi. The claim of the Alawis to Sadat is wrong, but they are of Banu Hashim and the merits of Banu Hashim apply to them. The Alawis who call themselves Sayyid are forbidden to do
  • 36. 66 67 The Islamic Marriaj; — " that. This distinction is only for the Prophet and has cons down from Sayyidah Fatimah The offspring of Sayyidina Ali *4® from other wombs are all Shaykh and th offspring of the righteous Caliphs are also called Shaykh. (Ifadat al-Yawmiyah PP 10-121 A question arises here about a person whose father is nos Sayyid but mother is Sayyid. Is he a Sayyid or not? According to the rules, he is not Sayyid though he gets a touch of nobilin because of his mother being Sayyid, but he cannot call himself a Sayyid. It is lawful for him to take zakah if he is not Sahib Nasab (owner of minimum on which zakah is payable) Anyway, mother is not considered in descent (exceptfc Sayyidah Fatimah in . Neverthless in freedom of ned children represent their mother. SECTION THREE COMMENT ON INDIA'S TABLES OF GENEALOGY I doubt very much if those who are called noble of desca in India are really so. It is very strange, the number of Shaylis we come across. There are Siddiqis, Faruqis, Alawis Uthmanis and Ansaris. What about the other Sahabahj besides the four we hear of ? We do not hear anyone say that he is a descendant! Sayyidina Bilal ibn Rabah or Sayyidina Miqdadit- al-Aswad 4^- So, I doubt them. These genealogies are frant- up by our friends. I have given vent to my doubts in crowded assemble People trace their descent to the four Caliphs to Sayyi# Abbas and Sayyidina Abu Ayyub Ansari Did only P offspring of these Sahabah conquer India, of descendants of the other Sahabah become extinct1 Bc' these possibilities are far-fetched. Thus, the doubt. (Islah Inqilab.' -1 FAMILY TREES OF INDIA Those who do not possess their charts of family trees have only oral claims to present. As for those who have the family chart, the upper names are doubtful and cannot be established or verified. We are known as Faruqis from Thana Bhawn but there is doubt in that if we probe into history because Ibrahim ibn Adham is in the family tree. There is lack of unanimity about him being a Faruqi or an Ijli or a Tamimi or a Sayyid Zaydi. (Haquq k Zawjayn, p-192) No amount of evidence is enough on that. There is doubt, nevertheless. (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-109) THRISTED TABLES OF GENEALOGY Some people are not noble but thrust themselves among the nobles in the tables of genealogy. Their claims are unproved. Such claimants are cursed in Ahadith. Thus a certain people assen that they are Arabs and their origin was shepherb. Some call themselves descendants of Sayyidina Khalid ibn Walid and so claim to be Arabs. But this cannot be substantiated. (al Tabligh. v-18. p-215) HOW WILL EQUALITY WORK IN INDIA The reality of Indian tables of genealogy cannot be proved. Someone asked how was equality to be judged and the Mawlana answered, "On seeing appearance and current position. The past genealogy will not be considered." The Qur'an calls us children of Sayyidina Aadam so this is true, otherwise a look at conflict in tables of genealogy would have made that doubtful. (Hasan ul Aziz v-3 p-19). EQUALITY ON BASIS OF COMMUNITY AND TRIBE Question: In India, ther are the Pathan, Rajput, etc. They feel it is disgraceful to marry outside their circle. But the books of igh tell us that apart from the Arabs, there is no reliability of nobility of other peoples bee? tables of genealogy c non-Arabs are not preset co So, will the issue of equality apply to each other as per custom?
  • 37. The Islamic Mama^ 6& Answer; Xs per the stated narrations, since the reproach or lack of it, and these tribes find it reproachful to marry among, each other, the issue of equality stands. (Iindad ul Fatawa, v-7, p-311) 69 SECTION FOUR GENEALOGY AND TRIBAL LINKS ALSO FORM BASIS OF EQUALITY TODAY The jurists do not rely on the genealogy tables of the non-Arabs, if it is not accepted in common practice. If it is. then equality is dependant upon genealogy and tribal basis. (Inidad ul Fatawa, v-2 p-368) ARE THE ANSARS AND THE QURAYSH EQUALS The Ansars are not from the Quraysh. But, the Alamgin ■ says that all Arabs are equal, so the Ansars and the Quraysh will be regarded as equals, (ibid v-2 p-371) SUMMARY The restriction of Kifa at (equality) is not without a reason. ML It is based on customary honour or disgrace. For example, the IHf Shaykhs may intermarry though they may be Faruqis, Siddiqis. Ansaris or Uthmanis; they are equals, and the restriction will F not apply whether the mother is an Arab or not. (al-Idafat al-Yawniyah Part 3, p-200) NON ARAB SCHOLAR NOT EQUAL TO ARAB WOMAN Though some jurists have held that a non-Arab scholar is equal of an Arab woman yet it is explained in Dur Mukhtar that a non-Arab cannot be her equal even if he is -a (non-Arab) Scholar or king.(/slah Inqilab b-2, p-111. Fath ul Qadir, Durr Mukhtar} A COMMON MISTAKE The villagers regard all outsiders as lesser than them as though nobility is limited to a few villages. Thus, if one ot them marries a woman from outside, the village woman do not take her as an equal. His children face difficulty in marriage within the community, (islah Inqlab v-2, p-110) EQUALITY FROM RELIGIOUS POINT OF VEIW Among the basis on which Shari'ah recognises equality is religion. Again -as in the case of descent it is not harmful if the wife is of a lower rank than her husband, but the husband must not be of a rank lower than his wife. A man's irreligiousness may be of three kinds: in the fundamental beliefs, in branch issues or in practice. THE FIRST KIND The woman is a Muslim but the man a non-Muslim - a jew. Christian, Magian, idolator or atheist, Obviously, their marriage is void. THE SECOND KIND The woman is a Sunni but the man is a bidati (an innovator). If he goes to the limits of disbelief, like believing m Mirza as a Prophet, then they cannot marry, otherwise he is a Muslim but not an equal of the Sunni woman. In some cases, the Ulama differ whether the innovator practices disbelief or not (like the masses today who worship graves). Those who rule that he is a disbeliever hold that his marriage with a sunni woman is void, others hold that they are not equals. I say that as long as the two have not married the former verdict (that it is void) should be followed because this is a cautious approach and a woman who has correct belief is not wedded to a man of doubtful belief. If. however, l^ey are already married then it is necessary to examine (leePly if the marriage is valid or not. This is a judicious tytoachnow, for, if their marriage is declared void and that ^ri>s out to be a wrong judgement on the basis of which the marries someone else then her second marriage ljf^be void and she would be committing adultery all her -Cause of it without realising it.
  • 38. 71 70__________________________________________________ The Islamic Marriage THE THIRD KIND The sinning man is never the equal of a righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the daughter of a pious man is also righteous. If a woman is righteous and the man is a sinner then he cannot be the equal of the righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the sinner must be a proclaimed. As for marriage of unequal, we have already spoken on that. (Islah Inqilab v-2 pp-13,14). CONFIRM THAT THE GROOM IS A MUSLIM Some of the youth who have acquired modern education are so free thinking and independent minded that they do not hesitate to imitate the atheists and they' criticise the basic injunctions of Islam. They question prophethood, salah or fasting. Some of them have doubts about the last hour. Such a man is a disbeliever though he may call himself a Muslim. A Muslim woman's marriage is not valid with a disbeliever. If a Muslim professes these beliefs then he becomes a non-Muslim and his marriage with a Muslim woman becomes void. Thus, you must ensure that your prospective son-in-law is a Muslim and if he happens to utter words of disbelief after marriage then ask him to make a repentance and renew his marriage, (ibid v-2 p-39) VERIFY THAT HE DOES NOT MOVEABOUT WITH THE MISLED Find out before marriage whether or not the bridegroom subscribe to a misled group, not only the ancient ones but rhe new ones that crop up every day. Similarly, if he is western educated, verify whether it has influenced his religious upbringing. If he utters even one wori of disbelief then he will have to reaffirm his Islam and rene" his marriage otherwise, he and his wife would be living illegally, (Islah Inqilab, p-115) MARRIAGE WITH A CHRISTIAN OR JEW WOMAN Some people return from the west with a wife who belong5 to a Chirstian community but does not profess the religion of Christianity being atheists. Marriage with such a woman is not correct. Some men who marry a Christian woman are so impressed by her that they lose all values of their religion. It is wajib for them to keep away from that. (Islah Inqilab. p-114) While the piety of the prospective son-in-law was verified in the olden days it is necessary now-a-day to verify if he is a Muslim at all. It is a condition to marry a Muslim woman that her husband should be a Muslim. Marriage of a Muslim woman with a disbeliever is not valid. Many boys are influenced with modem education and do not care about faith or religion. They are Muslims only in name. They utter words of disbelief with their tongue and do nut care about it. Then one of them is chosen for a Muslim girl and the family members are happy that they have observed the sunnah method of marriage. But the condition to observe the sunnah is faith which we do not know how many times he may have rejected! A pious girl was married to a western educated boy who bragged, "Muhammad0 was a great reformer and 1 admire him much. But prophethood is a religious view." dJJi *>> M (We seek refuge in Allah from that). This is an expression of disbelief which nullifies the marriage. If the parents of the girl are told about it then they are prepared to fight for their son-in-law. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-485) WEALTH OR PEDIGREE PREFERRED OVER RELIGION Some people hand over their daughter to an irreligious man only because he is wealthy or belongs to a noble family of repute. The man's outlook borders on disbelief. As a result the couple commit sin of adultery all their life. Their children would be bastards. Even if the man does not commit disbelief, they suffer spiritual punishment always. (Islah inqilab, v-2 p-14) » 3
  • 39. 73 72 WHY BASE ON RELIGION The Islamic Marna[f -------------------------- The objective of marriage is love and friendship and religion plays a greater role in promoting that than anything else. Indeed, all relationships terminate when only religion; links remain even on the Day of Resurrection. Pie Islamic Marriage religious man. Shari‘all has classified it as a kind of improper match. It has prescribed a rule. There shall be no ties of kinship among them.(23:101) The adulterer weds not but an adulteress or an associatoress, and the adulteress - none weds her but an adulterer or an associator. (24:3) and their ties (of relationship) would be cut asunder. Out of affection between you in the life of this world; then on the Day of Resurrection you will deny one another and will curse one another. (29 : 25) But, religious relationship will not end even on that day Friends on that day shall be foes to one another except those who are God fearing. (43 : 67) The reason is that religion creates fear of Allah. He fears Allah will be mindful of the little things and will not think of violating rights of anyone even to a little extent ft will not hurt anyone, nor prefer himself over other peop'! Who can be more civilised than such a one? (ibid, p-48) NOT PROPER TO MATCH A RELIGIOUS MAN WITH AN IRRELIGIOUS WOMAN Some men marry women of low character. Thoughv' marriage is valid, and we must not have misgivings abou1'' that she yet to reform, it is not a cautious approach^ Though this does not specifically disallow such a marriage yet it calls the marriage disliked. If the persons adulterous nature is confirmed them there is greater degree of dislike to the point of unlawfulness but if it is to the degree of possibility then the dislike is lesser. This is stressed in the Hadith (choose a recommended woman for your sperm). Allah never chose for any Prophet a woman who may have ever indulged in evil not even if she may have repented afterwards. This is what the Qur’anic words mean: And the pure women for the pure men. (24 : 26) However, if she has made a sincere repentance which leaves no doubt and no one is likely to accept her then to protect her innocence, or if he loves her then, this is an exception. J' x-U-dy (Islah Inqilab v-2 p-51) SECTION FIVE EQCALITY IN AGE People are very indifferent in giving right^of women. For instance, they marry a child to an old man so that when he dies ilte poor child is ruined.
  • 40. 74 75 The Islamic Marria^ It is also the other way about when a male child is married to a young woman. Thus, a boy was married to a youn; woman; he was so young that he could have been her firs born. This was very detestable though not disallowed. If there is a reasonable compatibility in age then it promotes love an; affection. (Udal al Jahiliyah. p-356) It is very necessary that the couple be of a compatible age This is a natural requirement but also somewhat recommended by Shari'ah. The Qur'an says: Maidens of restraining glances of equal age. (38 : 52) It also says: Surely We have created them (their spouses) by (special) creation, so We have made them virgins, loving, equals of age. (56 : 35-37) Difference of age causes unfamiliarity. People of one age become friends quickly. When Sayyidina Abu Bakr 4^ later Sayyinina Umer proposed marriage to Sayyidah Fatima the Prophet said each time, "Sheis young. There was much difference in their ages, so the Prophet turned down the request of each of them. Thus, part of ths reason was that the difference in age of the bride and groom must not be very much. (Udal al Jaliiliyali) TOLERABLE DIFFERENCE When she was married, Sayyidah Fatimah U-c- an 15*/2 years old and Sayyidina Ali was 21 years old. I1'5 advisable that the bridegroom should be slightly older than bride. (Islah ur Rasum, p-90) The wise men say that there is no harm if the wife1 younger slightly because a woman is the ruled while man is The Islamic Marriage ruler. Besides, woman ages faster than man, so a differenced oftwo to four years is absorbed. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-371) THE GIRL MUST REFUSE WHEN THERE IS A MISMATCH If the bride is very young and the groom is old then she might become a widow very soon. Girls as young as thirteen years old are — dumb creatures — married off to men as old is sixty years old. If she is chaste then she finds herself imprisoned for life, otherwise she will commit indecency. In either case, husband and wife will be at loggers head and disagreement. In the second case, there will be much disrepute and disgrace of both families. Often, an old husband is the first to die, so the very' young wife falls into the trap of customs and rots the rest of her life as a widow. Sometimes, she does not get enough to eat and, if custom will not permit, she will not go out to earn a living, but if she does then she may fall prey to wicked men. (Islah Inqilab p-24). EVILS OF MARRYING YOUNG BOY TO AN ELDER WOMAN Some customs are the opposite of this. A young boy, often a child, is married to an older girl. She becomes youthful early while he is old enough to play in her lap. The foolish people who make this match do not realise that the ideal ages of the partners is when they are nearly equal. This custom will never allow the pair to show love to one another. The result is that the girl either commits indecency or withers away from tuberculosis. Later when the boy grows to youth, they are again no match. The hatred of early marriage persists and the husband is not respected. (Islah lnqlab. v-6 p-44). When the Prophet $ did not approve a young girl for an old man then how may we expect him to approve a young boy for an older woman? Besides, this is unreasonable too. The otplanation is that a husband is superior and an authority. Asides, a woman ages faster than her husband who might then another wife. (Huquq uz Zawajayn p-371)
  • 41. 76 The Islamic SECTION SIX CHAPTER FIVE CHOOSING A PARTNER EQUALITY IN TERMS OF WEALTH If a man marries a poor woman not to achieve an aims, SECTION ONE not to avert a difficulty then it is proper. This is because oft a poor woman lacks skill and a large heart so that she c® serve and manage well and sometimes she withholds necessaty expenses. Thus, rights of people are not given sometimes^ it becomes embarrassing. However, if she is used toi generous living since childhood then she will be goodz management. As for the difficulty he might face, it is ofc when a woman receives wealth suddenly she spends it rai particularly if she also lacks skill. Those who becomericht this manner are either miserly or rash spenders. They area moderate at spending. Often she does not have a soft comet!.' her husband's family and she loads her parent's home*: different things from his house. This removes blessings fro his house and the man toils hard to earn a living but she d» not brother about that and continues to empty his treasures Hence, it is better, as far as possible, to marry one's equal. SHOULD A RICH GIRL BE CHOSEN Many people, therefore, refrain from choosing a poorgf- However, my own opinion is that one must choose a girls equal status. A girl from a rich family will not be greedy she will be hot-headed while a poor girl will be greedy and*- open a supply line to her poor relatives. (Deen wa Dunya Asbab ul Gliaflahf*' CHARACTERISTICS OF GROOM The bridegroom must be religious minded otherwise he till not give rights of his wife. He will not give rights of his tile. He may not give rights of his wife. He may be an excellent man in all respects but if he is not religious-minded then do not choose him as your son-in-law. (Maffiizat Kharat v-3 p-32). If a man is not attentive to his religious duties then he is not reliable and he will not observe the limits. Such a man is ten dangerous. To observe the limits is a great characteristics. (al-Ifadat v-8 p-202) DEFINITION OF A RELIGIOUS MINDED People do not know the ingredients of religion. They think tail is basic ingredients are five: beliefs, worship, dealings, social behaviour, and civilised manner or training the self. (Huquq ul llm p-2) Beauty of a person lies in the beauty of his nose, ear, eyes, 2nd so on. These things must be in proper proportion, if the eye is defective or the nose is cut then though other organs may be beautiful, the man will not be said to be beautiful. It is •lit same with a religious person. He is observant of all (Tajdeed T'alim p-227) Though reforming social relations also part of religion, people think that it is insignificant and give importance 10"azifah (optional, religious exercises). Social etiquettes rt<|uire that a person must not hurt anyone. If his dealings with k other people are correct and he offers five time salah then iia religious person. He deserves sainthood. (Hasan ul Aziz v-2 p-63) 1.
  • 42. 78 The Islamic Marri^ A SAINTLY PERSON CONSULTED A JEW A saintly man had a daughter for whom he received mat, proposals of marriage He consulted his neighbour who was; Jew on who should he choose. The Jew hesitated in th beginning saying, "Our religions differ so how my advicecc be reliable. The saintly man assured him, "You are % Muslim, but you are a gentleman and would not give awrtn advice. So I proffer it without hesitation." The Jew said "I have heard that your Prophet had said. "Four things are observed when marrying a women: wealth, beauty, position and religion. Try to marry her to a religious minded man". "All the proposals received by you lack perfect religion 1 student who stays in your mosque is nearest to that. He! always engaged in Allah's work. Marry your daughter tote: There would be blessings, InshaAllah." So the saint took his advice. Indeed, his daughter« happy all her life, (at Tabligh, vi4 pl30). SELECTING A GROOM Someone wrote to the Mawlana that he was much won* about wedding his daughters. He did not get an agreed proposal for any of them. If a young man sported a beard, was very poor and if he was a young man of some means# he was perplexed and people advised him not to insist & bearded young man which was very rare in modern time The Mawlana wrote to him that indeed he was1 difficulty and he thought that even those who sported a were not religious in the full sense of the word in these tf^ times. While one commits the sin of shaving his beard, a^ is mad with lust and indecency. Then what can one do"1' cc beatd . .) tl . re should be real piety and righteousness The Islamic Marriage . 79 is very scarce. Hence, it was better if one was large-hearted about it. Only a few things should be considered in the groom: 1. There should be no doubt in his Islamic beliefs and he should not ridicule them. 2. He should be good natured in that he respects scholars and elders. ■3. He should be mild tempered. 4. He may be expected to give rights to his relations. 5. It is necessary that he was enough means of livelihood. 6. One who meets these conditions may be tolerated. It is not far fetched to expect, such a young man to grow a beard after a gradual living together. (Malfiizat Ashraliyah, p-311) There are three other necessary' conditions. 1. Ability' to earn a livelihood. 2. There should be equality' as near as possible. 3. Righteousness. Thereafter, one must cease to seek more, otherwise, the words of hadith will apply. "When there is compatibility in manners and religion, marry them off otherwise there will be corruption on land.” (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-31) DO NOT CHOOSE FOREIGNERS The Mawlana said, "Marrying foreign men is often harmful.' (Malfiaatkhabrai (v-3 p-32) 'TRY CLOSE RELATIVES NOT PREFERRED Experienced men have advised against marrying very close relatives because children tend to be weak. (Hasan ul Aziz v-2 p-155) The reason for that is chils bearing depends not only on Physical health and sound temperament but also on love and desire. (Islah Inqilab p-30) C|iOOSE PARTNER FOR GIRL VERY CAREFULLY "omen are too hasty in marrying off their daughters, i or