ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
________________________________
We would like to offer our gratitude, mostly to Almighty
God, our Lord. For giving us the ample time, enough knowledge
and healthy immunity that helped and made a big role on us.
Without him, we can‟t sustain every chapters of our story and
wouldn‟t be intact.
Second, to our professor, for her hard work and for being an
inspiration for us. For her who gave stately ideas, through her
guidance, this story will not be achieved and our little skills in
writing will not be shown.
Third, to our parents. We sent them our serene Thank You, for
supporting us financially. And lastly, for our group mates and for
ourselves, we built our unity and perseverance to achieve our main
goal and who have been dedicated and willing to fulfil the story.
This story helped us to know more of ourselves and let out our
talents on imagining things and writing a story plot.
The Authors
DEDICATION
________________________________
The novel “Tears from Heaven” is dedicated for selfless
people, who are willing to sacrifice self satisfaction than seeing
significant people suffering. For those who are in state of suffering,
for people who are totally down after the lost oh his/her loved
ones. For those persons, who want to recover and renew their
selves after struggles.
This fictional story engages and set to know that everyone
,no matter who you are, are falling in love not just with who we
see, but also with who are invisible to our naked eyes, that our
world is not just a physical world but also a realm of spirituality.
It doesn‟t only talk about romance just like a typical teen
fiction but also letting the readers to know more about life, to
witness faith and fate and to let people understand the circle of
life, our ups and downs and how to deal with them.
We dedicate this story for all the people who are seeking
hope and granting to love them back, recover from pain and
transform ourselves through the work of faith, hope and love.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
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Acknowledgement..................................................I
Dedication............................................................II
Table of Contents.................................................III
Prologue.............................................................IV
Chapter 1: Reminiscing..........................................1
Chapter 2: Sick Advices..........................................4
Chapter 3: Stranged.............................................10
Chapter 4: Gift?...................................................15
Chapter 5: Stranged Again....................................18
Chapter 6: Margaux.............................................22
Chapter 7: Stalker...............................................27
Chapter 8: Friended.............................................38
Chapter 9: Nathan the Weird.................................45
Chapter 10: Aunt Sally.........................................50
Chapter 11: First Step..........................................59
Chapter 12: Pristine.............................................66
Chapter 13: FAITH...............................................76
Chapter 14: Second Step......................................80
CHAPTER 1: REMINISCING
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Monday
A comfortable, large and spacious place, I am in my
favourite resto, my family‟s favourite resto. Memories of yesterday
were glancing inside my head, recalling the past makes me grin for
a while.
I ordered a frappe and a mini hot cake; this was Mom‟s,
Dad‟s and my favourite breakfast here. I sat on a table near to the
facade of a family, who were happily eating their meal. Traced on
their faces how glad they are.
While chewing a slice of cake, I did not realize that tears
were falling out from my eyes down to the table, I wipe it. But
things become much heavier, when music was played all over the
place.
Would you know my name,
If I saw you in Heaven?
Would it be the same,
If I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
coz I know I don‟t belong here
in Heaven.
Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton, made me reminisce the
past and bring it back to me through tears. I don‟t know how I
should respond to this gloomed life.
I questioned God several times to the point that I am
losing my faith in him, I don‟t believe him anymore, I asked him
why is it happening in my life, why do I have to be the most
unfortunate of all the unfortunates. Why should I bear and suffer
these fate, I know this is not my destiny, even if it‟s really for me,
I won‟t accept it till the last breath of my body.
It is God, who is the ultimate reason for this and I‟d never
put my trust to him again.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I‟ll find my way, through night and day
Coz I know I just can‟t stay
Here in heaven.
I promised my parents that I‟ll be the one who will hear
every wound and every pain they will perceive. But that is now a
snatched expectation.
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please, begging please
Behind the door.
There‟s peace, I‟m, and I know there‟ll be no
Tears in Heaven.
If only I could go to heaven, I would take them back here
on earth and do all the works of joy that we used to have.
Just a final step with them, will please me, I know God
would prohibit it and if does, he don‟t do it usually. But I‟m dying
because of all these heartaches.
It‟s like that someone stole your important aid and will
never be back to you again but the scene still remained together
with the person who stole it. I sighed deeply and focus back on my
meal.
My class has not yet started, so I used to visit and have a
meal here. I used to have this little engagement alone, no one‟s
besides me instead of my books.
I can‟t share my life with others since I don‟t have anyone
who will consistently and will never leave me behind. I don‟t have
somebody to lean on, I never and will never trust anyone, I‟d
become an introvert after all these times.
I can‟t find a genuine friend perhaps when somebody
reviews me, they will leave sick advices and I don‟t want
somebody to intricate my view.
One thing for them, being the studious is a big deal. How
come they don‟t find how significant education is? Maybe I‟m
fortunate because I have granted a scholarship opportunity and I
don‟t want to disposed that only thing, I know in the end, I can
treasured of.
There‟s nothing left to me just me, myself and I, nothing
more.
I look to my watch and it‟s time to prepare for school.
CHAPTER 2: SICK ADVICES
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After all what I‟ve done at the resto, I move towards my
school. It was just a normal day, normal to prepare for school,
normal to go there alone and no one wants to have friendly
conversations with me.
“Good morning!” perhaps only school guards are greeting me here
I am not talkative or friendly and I don‟t even know how to
smile. No one can appreciate me, I used to impress them but I‟m
always fallen behind.
I keep myself occupied through studies, nothing more. No
flirt, no romance, no make-ups, don‟t have any extracurricular or
clubs.
Just studies.
They call me nerd, weird, mega mind, alien, as I have said
it‟s a big deal for them for being a studious. I was just sitting on
my desk at the front when somebody sits beside me.
“Hi Lorraine!” she greeted.
She‟s Lorraine, one of the famous girls inside our campus;
she had that elegant, charm beauty, kind, humble and friendly
personality that every guy wished to have.
But she does not want to enter a relationship again after
her first heartbreak with her first love.
“Hello” my thrifty reply.
“Lorraine!” she introduced.
“Yah, I know you, you don‟t have to introduce yourself” I replied
without staring at her.
“Really? Ughh, I thought you don‟t even know me, since you‟re
just sticking your whole body in this chair and have your own
world!” she said to me in a sarcastic way.
I know where this conversation will go; they will take bad
shots, give hard advices and treat me like the deepest person on
earth or a one less lonely woman. So I‟d rather keep myself silent
and tune out those sick advices.
“You know what girl?! Why don‟t you try to be with us, to be with
others? Get out from your own world, go back to earth and enjoy
all things here! Hang out with guys, prioritize your self-enjoyment,
put out these weirdly notes and spare time with the society.”
And the last thing that she said is the most deafening
phrase for me.
“Besides, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!” This phrase makes me irritated
especially to those who says it every time. So I stand up and
replied.
“Stop it! I‟m sick of those words, you don‟t have any difference
from every people.”
“Because it‟s true, Mira, those words are true!! That‟s what we see
from you and we tend to help you to get out of your shell” she
shouted that everyone in our room catches our attention.
“I have my own way Lorraine; you don‟t have to care for me.” she
replied in a cold manner, I grab my bag and gave her my final
words.
“Yes, You Only Live Once, we only live once, but the thing is, we
also die once, and You Only Die Once. What if I say you‟re gonna
die tomorrow morning, can you set right all the wrongs you‟ve
done within 24 hours? Why would I waste my time doing worthless
things?”
And find myself a place where I could be in silence.
I have still this annoyance every time people will stub me
as a loner, the one with no friends or peers. So I put my ear
phones on and play music in shuffle mode.
The music seems to concur with my situation and it makes
me get more annoyed, I put it off and daydream of nothing within
the noise inside the room, waiting for our professor.
Until everything was in peace, our professor Mr. Falkner
entered the room, he did not leave any greetings, and instead he
taught directly. I did not even notice that he already gave us a
group work; I just heard at the front that they are starting to
count off then everyone with the same number will be your
partner.
Unluckily, I‟ve been paired with Lorraine, to tell you the
truth, she‟s totally nice but I hate her officious personality. She will
talk, putting herself on one‟s shoes even she does not know
everything and I don‟t even know what‟s her problem towards me
is.
She approached me but I did not lend my ears to her first,
but put my attention first to what Mr. Falkner is saying.
We will be sharing our experience about the topic
“Forgiveness”, I thought deeply and asked myself
“Did I already forgive someone?”
The other pairs started to share their experiences while I
and Lorraine has not started yet. I don‟t know how to start the
discussion since she‟s busy on her phone, until she broke the
moment of awkwardness towards each other.
“What‟s your plan now, you go share first!” I was not on my
inkling back then so she asked me if I really listened to Mr.
Falkner‟s instructions.
“Why should I? It seems that you have so much to share?” I
replied innocently, I can still feel my perversity towards her.
“Alright I get it, you don‟t have friends or peer groups. Certainly,
you don‟t have adversaries and you can‟t relate to the topic since
you‟re just all by yourself” she said in sarcastically which is too
offensive for me.
“Well, I don‟t have anything to discuss coz actually I don‟t know
how to forgive!” she continued.
I was shocked to what she has said.
How come she doesn‟t even know how to forgive? Why?
To whom? I want to all her reasons behind it.
“How can‟t you forgive?” I asked her.
“You‟re asking too much!” she said aggravated.
“Well this is sharing, so I can interrogate you hmm.”
She rolled her eyes and say “It‟s not easy to forgive
anyone, it‟s easy to utter a sorry but difficult when you‟re in front
of someone. Why do we need to forgive others if they already
mean it?” It looks like she‟s pulling out to something make me
more curious about her.
“Huh?? Are you pulling out to something? Wait!! I don‟t get your
point?”
It looks like she‟s pulling out to something makes me more
curious about her.
“Huh?? Are you pulling out to something? Wait!! I don‟t get your
point?”
“You will not understand Mira, you don‟t have any idea. Stop
asking me and perhaps we need to pretend that were finished.”
Lorraine said.
“But.......”
“Enough Mira, shut up and go back to your seat, and I‟ll go back to
my seat.” She did not let me finish my words, I have nothing to do
but to follow her, to shut up and go back to my seat.
I can‟t imagine that our conversation would be like that, I
thought that I would be wordless during this pair-thingy of Mr.
Falkner.
I saw myself on Lorraine‟s; I saw the grief and the hatred
beyond her eyes. I feel better to her now, my mood lightens to
her. It looks like I found something who have the same situation
with me.
But the questions are really bugging me..... Why? Who?
How? Things I want to grasp.
Mr. Falkner‟s time has ended, the noise inside the room
started to take its place again. I look for Lorraine and found her
mum on her desk.
I want to approach her but it would be much better if I
would just disregard her and thought of going first to the
restroom.
CHAPTER 3: STRANGED
________________________________
I was on the restroom when a cold air come up to me and
at the same time a little girl pass through me, she looks pitiful and
I can see from her a need for justice. She‟s a spirit, ghost and a
strange being.
To tell you the truth, I had a special sense, sense of seeing
unseen things, things inside the spiritual dimension. Back when
my parents died, things started to get strange; I have seen many
souls of the dead, spiritual beings and apparitions.
At first, I was scared because souls are always
approaching me for help, for a need and for supplications but when
time passes by I accept it.
I keep it only to myself coz I know people will not believe
me, I made my own studies, discover it and in fact I have a book
about these phenomena.
The soul of the little girl faded so quick that I did not
notice her. Sometimes, I wished that my Mama and Papa will
appear to me and that my sense will unveil their souls. I missed
them so much, and if ever that my wish will be granted, I will hug
them, kiss them, and let them stay with me.
I watched my face over the mirror; I have changed so
much, my blissful face of the past turns into a displeased face, it
seems ruined, I gently washed my face and went back to my
room.
After me is our Biology Professor, but he just stayed for a
while for attendance and left the room. I look again for Lorraine
and I found her still in silent mode. I also am still troubled about
her problem, until she stands up and leave the room. Where is she
going?
Hours passed by, Lorraine did not yet return. Our next
professor comes along, time moves so fast until our last class hour
up to our recession still she did not return. But her bag, she left it
alone. Due to my concern, I will not leave this room up until she
won‟t return. And I did not know that I have fallen asleep but the
bag, the bag was not there anymore.
Meaning Lorraine returned and left me sleeping. I was
aggravated on what she did when a man suddenly got my
attention. He‟s sitting in front and reading a book, I ignored him
and hurriedly fix myself, and for sure Aunt Sally is drunk again.
Before I had left the room, the man on the front seat left
too, he looked at me before leaving and left me initiating his face.
His tender eyes, honed nose and rosy lips, it was the first time I
saw him here inside the campus and it seems he is so famous here
due to his handsomeness.
I go home but Aunt was not there, maybe she‟s gambling
again. Aunt Sally is the older sister of my Papa, and the black
sheep of their family since birth, I think. Because of hatred, she
started to waste her own life, she grow as a drunkard, gambler
and unfaithful.
She does not care for me, i just don‟t know if she still
knows my name haha.
I go now to my room and set the alarm for tomorrow
morning, but before I ended my day, I used to study about my
special sense, my experiences and my encounters between the
spiritual and paranormal realm. I remembered the little girl and
identify her state, I opened my special book and look for it, and for
me, according to my own study, she‟s a Benign, since she does not
show any actions of danger.
My study has continued so far that I had made
classifications of souls and spirits.
First Soul: The Benigns
-These are harmless souls, they don‟t bother human
beings. Sometimes they appear as an apparition to people while
the others transfigure as a human. They attract people to help
them get through the Light.
Second Soul: The Folks
-These are souls who do not want to move towards the
Light, they‟re just here on earth; some of them were staying here
for a decade. They don‟t want to leave their riches and wealth;
they live on their houses which we considered as haunted. They
are also harmless like the Benigns but when people start to
possess and steal their wealth, they will also start to be aggressive
and sometimes dangerous.
Third Soul: The Raucouses
-They are the most dangerous type of souls. They bother
people most of the times. Some of them were so harsh that they
can put people to death. They are happy seeing people scared of
them, the more the people are scared, the more they get stronger.
They are the only type of soul that can possess inside human‟s
body.
I also wrote a study about the Light. The Light, I think, is
the place for souls and spirits, only those who want to be there
and who had moved on are allowed to get there. Its colour and
brightness is unexplainable.
Another one, souls don‟t have a physical body, their body
was just an illusion but they have faces. And if they‟re going
towards the Light, their faces will vanish and they will change as a
full spiritual being.
Souls can‟t talk but they can communicate people through
eye contact, they are not like those on the movies. They have no
expressions except of being in grief, anger, hatred and sorrow. You
can tell a soul in happiness, if it‟s spirited body will glow like a
star.
Candles are the material being of a soul, they can turn
themselves as a candle, telling that they can‟t easily accept their
state. They need to be lit, and when the candle has been lit, for
sure that soul is now towards the light.
Salts are their material food, these are purifiers; souls are
purified through salt. Souls need to be pure before going towards
the Light.
This study made my life exciting in a little way. There are
times that souls become my friends; they let my situation become
lighter just like real friends but for only a day since they want to
get through the Light.
Written in this book are apparitions of spiritual beings not
known on earth. I have seen spirits with four wings; they look like
angels but for me they are not since I don‟t believe God anymore.
I call them the Advocates; their function is to call for souls
called to be like them.
There are also the Guardians, who lead souls towards the
Light.
And the last things I know are the Ebonies or the black
spirits, they are soul catcher, they imprison souls, I don‟t know
what their purpose is.
Believe or not, these things are true, it looks like a bit
mythological but for people granted with special senses, these are
amazing unknown facts.
Suddenly, I remember the man who is reading the book
inside the classroom. Is he a soul?
Uhmmmm.. Maybe not, he‟s handsome and has a body but
for a human being, he‟s so mysterious.
CHAPTER 4: GIFT?
________________________________
I was in a deep sleep when I jump out of bed without
knowing the reason, I look for my clock and face what time is it?
2:15 AM
It‟s still in the midnight, so I go back to my bed and after a
while I jumped out again at
2:30 AM
I started to sleep again and woke up
2:45 AM
When a woman was on my foot, I thought it was my Aunt
Sally but she has no expressions and a body. Certainly, she‟s a
soul and what makes me bug, is that she‟s staring at me. I ignored
her and go back to sleep. But I woke up again, 15 minutes after.
3:00 AM
The woman is still staring at me, but this time she‟s
weeping, she has no expressions but tears were falling from her
eyes. Due to my lenity for her, I started to make a contact with
her. Imagine me having a third eye on my forehead slowly
opening.
She‟s a Benign, from her eyes, through my eyes, all
through my mind; she‟s telling me that she asks for justice.
I close my eyes and found myself in a scene where her
death occurs. She was killed helplessly, her mouth is taped,
blindfolded and tied on a chair and then suddenly she was shot
once on her core align within her heart. That‟s the reason behind
her need for justice. But all I just can do is to let her accept her
fate and forgive.
I applied what Mr. Falkner has taught us that forgiveness
is a good cure for justice. I stand up and look for a candle and salt
to prepare for her purification.
I contact her and tell “forgive.” But she‟s telling me that she can‟t.
“There‟s nothing you can do except through forgiveness” after my
advice she started to scream on my mind. I put my hands on my
ears; the scream was so loud, louder than an airplane‟s sound.
But still I continue to say it “If you can‟t, you can‟t get the
one you want!!”
Lights on my room started to turn on and off
“FORGIVE!!” I screamed but the tension becomes much more
intense.
“FORGIVE!!!!!!” I throw the candle towards her and then suddenly
she vanished.
I sprinkled the salt to the candle and say,
“You are now purified”
I lit the candle and made a supplication for the soul. After
the happening, I saw her going to the Light together with the
Guardian; her face is flourishing making her a full spiritual being.
“Good work, Mira” I congratulated myself for helping souls
get through the Light where eternal happiness reigns.
Suddenly, I asked myself if this sense is a gift or an occult,
If it‟s bad demonic or good as what good is.
This special sense made me attach to a place where no
humans being are allowed to be in. I am foreseeing a world which
we consider as a mythical belief.
I have the purpose of this sense, but the essence? Who
give this? Why do I have to do these things? But the thing is, I can
help those helpless souls, they can approach me for help just as
how a true friend does.
I sighed deeply and said,
“This is not bad, this is good, you are good and from now on you
are a gift.” This special sense is a gift and not an act of occult.
I look at my clock to check the time that makes me
shocked.
“Wait!!What?!!”
Its 5:00 AM at dawn. I have to hurry for school.

CHAPTER 5: STRANGED AGAIN
________________________________
I‟m late now; I never thought that my encounter between
that soul takes too much time. I‟m on the bus trapped between
the heavy traffic outside. If only I could put it into flight.
I have only ten minutes remaining before my first class
starts. While I‟m busy thinking about many things, two guys were
also busy talking with each other. I tried not to listen to them but
my ears can‟t resist hearing it.
“Bro, have you heard about the latest news for Nathan?” asked the
first guy.
“That??” replied the second guy.
“That up until now, his family has no idea if where he is now, they
still can‟t contact his number.” The first guy said worriedly.
The second guy look at him wondering,
“Huh? I thought he‟s in Austria for three years?”
“That‟s all that we know about him, but I‟m still worried for our
buddy, I missed him badly bro. We never heard his name for many
many years, what‟s going on him?” the first guy.
“Maybe, he‟s just super busy there. I missed him too bro but not
that badly.” The second guy,
“Not to perceive bro but what if he‟s dead....” said the first guy
that made the second guy crumb.
“Hey, stop it!! He‟s just busy, nothing more and please you should
never think of it..” sighed the second guy.
That‟s it; they miss their best friend I guess?! But what
makes me yearn over them is that they have not yet talked to him
for years. If I‟m on their place, I would really find a way just to call
him and ask him if he‟s okay.
7:20 AM when I arrived at school, I‟m super late errrrrrr.
I ran so fast after my entry towards the school gate until I
reach my room, but there are no people inside, no classmates, no
professor except to the guy I saw yesterday, and the one reading
a book.
He‟s still reading his book, I go to the back side of the
room, and I think he did not notice my arrival. But the thing is my
classmates are not here...
Where are they??
I nodded for a while; I got tired running towards here. I
thought of going to the cafeteria for a breakfast since I have not
taken yet my breakfast.
Lifting my head, I was shocked when the guy earlier is
now beside me. He‟s looking at me sincerely but when I look at
him too, he avoided it.
“Ehy! Do you have a problem?” I asked him.
Instead of answering my question, he suddenly turns away
from me, leaving me here alone. Just weird.
And then suddenly my stomach started to sound like a
burp so I decided to go to the cafeteria. I was just eating my
snack when a guy entered the cafe and sit in front of me, but the
thing that made me surprise is that, the one in front of me is the
one I saw earlier.
He‟s still reading his book and shortly, he‟s looking at me
again, his looks tell that he wants to talk to me. What‟s the matter
with this guy?
So I look at him also, eye to eye if ever he wants to have a
conversation with me.
But still, he‟s not saying a word even an “uhmmm”. Our
gazing with each other took a lot of seconds so I stop it.
I stand up, move through the cashier to pay all my food
and go away from him. He‟s really weird.
As I went back to my classroom, one of my classmates
approached me and said,
“Hey Mira!! You‟re really weird, where did you go? Earlier we saw
you entered a wrong room and then you were gone so quickly.
You‟re just really weird!”
I don‟t know if she‟s teasing me or concern about me. And
I don‟t enter a wrong room earlier; eh they are the ones who are
not here.
Anyways, I sit on my usual seat and just spent my day
focusing on what my every professor are saying and talking.
After our class, I went to the library to find a new book to
read. Even though, its recessional time, there are a lot of students
here inside, some of them were doing projects and others are
spending times there.
I was on the shelves when I saw a guy leaning beside the shelves,
he‟s just busy reading a book when I found out that he‟s the weird
guy that I saw earlier on our room and inside the cafeteria.
Why do we always meet each other??
He looked at me and leave again, did I just disturbed him?
Hayy it doesn‟t matter, I move towards the librarian for
the book and leave and for Pete‟s sake I saw him again in front of
the library‟s door but this time I did not look at him, things are
getting strange now.
I was on my way home when I start thinking that guy.
He‟s handsome but kinda weird. What‟s the matter with him?
And why do I always see him?
What‟s his name?
How old he is?
And what‟s his problem?
Ughh never mind him.
But I had this strange feeling for him, I never saw him
smiling, frowning or laughing. Is he a soul?
No, he‟s not, he‟s handsome, and he has a body. I hope
we can be friends.
Hey!! Just friends!! Ahh.
CHAPTER 6: MARGAUX
________________________________
Margaux’s P.O.V
Margaux Sebastian, that‟s my name, born as a family
oriented girl. My parents and I were so close that we used to have
this strong family bond, we love to travel.
But those things were just an immediate satisfaction, my
father was no longer with us, he‟s with her mistress.
Before that thing happens, his contact with us started to
cool; he had excuses for everything like,
“Im busy”
“Im tired”
“Please don‟t bother me first”
That‟s the time when my mother started to suspect him.
And then one day, Mom and I went for a shopping. We passed by
on a restaurant, we saw him, within our both eyes, with his other
woman.
I got numb and upset, I can‟t moved, all I want to do is
slap that woman and cry to Dad. But my Mom gripped me while
crying and saying,
“Let your Dad be happy” one of the most stupid words I‟ve ever
heard.
For me it‟s painful and If I were on her shoes, I will fight
for him and will not flow with that affection.
Dad chose his second family; he had a child on that
woman 6 months old.
Without hesitation he put their marriage down and up for a
separation.
Due to that part, I forlorn my studies, I felt broken and
unwanted. Every night, I could hear my mother crying for my Dad.
To relieve and remove all the pains I have inside and lift
myself up again, I joined on a modelling workshop. My Mom
worked abroad and left me independently in a condominium.
Now, Mom and I are both Canadian citizens. Even though
we had moved from the past, the pain is still there, especially to
Mom.
The song “Dance with my Father” by Luther Vandross
makes my situation heavier and tenser.
I know I‟m praying for too much
But could you send back
The only men she‟d love.
I know you don‟t do it usually but dear Lord, she‟s dying
to dance with my father again.
That was the heaviest part in it that made my cry again
and again. But thanks to that song, because of it, I met Nathan
Paul Sebastian.
I was on a plane when that song played all over the
travellers. It made me cry so hard, Nathan noticed me, offer his
handkerchief and asked me if I was fine.
At first sight, I fell for him, he has this charm that every
girls would want to be throughout her whole life and from what he
had done, I‟m find him kind and caring.
From that, we started to have a long conversation,
introduce ourselves and eat together on a place where the plane
landed.
We shared a lot about our lives. We share the same
experience; we have this very close relationship after all.
Both of us were in Canada back then, when he starts
courting me, he became the best suitor and do anything for me.
My heart beats so fast when I‟m with him, his pleasant
smiles and eyes made me realize that this guy is a big catch and I
will never abandon this type of fate.
I gave him the sweetest “YES” after doing his hardships
and sacrificing his time just to titillate me. We‟ve been together for
more than two years, and those two years was so perfect every
part of it has memorable stories.
He‟s a man every girl‟s dream, a faithful, intelligent and
handsome guy. I never thought of adverting him, or make him feel
bad.
Within those two years, we‟ve started to plan our future
and what do we want someday, the marriage, children and our
house.
I never think of Dad anymore, he‟s not a man, Nathan lift
me higher and changed my life.
Months passed, he are asked by his family to go back to
Philippines, he came back here in Canada just to say a farewell to
me, because he will be working in Austria as an architect. He left
me too but it would just be temporary.
And I know he would not be like Dad, he loves me and for
sure he will come back again and do our plans in life.
“I will be back, understand? I‟m doing this for our future and for
my family.”
“I know, but this time, I‟m missing you immediately”
“Hey, don‟t cry. I‟ll call you after this and just always remember, I
will come back for you”
“I understand”
“I love you,Margaux”
“I love you too, Nathan”
That was my last convo with him, last hug and last kiss
from him.
I waited for his call that day and the next day after, but I
haven‟t received any, even a simple text from him. I started to
worry, I can‟t sleep that time.
And now, I‟m a famous model here in Canada and in fact, I
bring the crown to this country as Ms. International.
I‟ve been busy on showbiz and modelling, photo shoots here,
photo shoot there, photo shoot everywhere. But up until now, I
have not yet received news about Nathan. Questions are bothering
my own self,
“What happened to him?”
“Is he still okay?”
I only think that he‟s just busy there. He‟s persevering
every time for our future. But negative vibes make everything
heavier,
“What if he found a girl that is more beautiful than me?”
“What if he‟s busy with his family there, a family of his own?
Lot of what if‟s, lot of imputations.
One thing I‟m still holding of,
“He will come back; he promised me he will come back.”
CHAPTER 7: STALKER
________________________________
MIRA’S P.O.V
I arrived home and I can‟t stop thinking of that weird guy,
he‟s always on my mind.
From the beginning when I saw him, everything seems
strange. I just can‟t explain but there‟s really something about
him.
The house was in silence when I enter inside, Aunt Sally
was not around and for sure she‟s wasting her money again.
I went to my room, put my things on my table and lie on
my bed. This day was so stressful. From my subjects, to my life
status, my gift down through that weird guy sigh..
Yes, I‟m still thinking of him, the way he looks at me, the
way he see things, he makes me confused. So I close my eyes and
stop thinking all the stress for a moment.
I never thought that I fell in a deep sleep and then
suddenly.
.
.
.
.
I woke up crying, reason? I dreamt about my Mom and
Dad. It says that I was on a train station waiting for the train to
leave; I don‟t have any idea why am I there, waiting for its
departure.
The train started to run, as I was looking on it, I saw Mom
and Dad waving their hands to me, pertaining to a goodbye.
I can‟t accept that they‟re going to leave me alone, so I
tried to follow the train and run as fast as I can, but....
A guy reached for my hands saying “Don‟t follow it”.
Surprisingly, it was the guy who I always see, the guy with no
expressions.
I want to release his hands off me but he‟s too strong and
can carry me.
“MOM!!!!!! DAD!!!!!!”
I cry out loud, even I‟m hopeless and despaired, I want to
scream their names they might return to me. Then, the guy
hugged me so tight and try to calm me.
My dream wants me to realize that my parents will never
return anyhow, but I can‟t!! All I want is to bring them back to me,
coz they are my life, things won‟t be easy if I don‟t have them.
I will not be given a chance to smile again, and it‟s
because of God, if he‟s truly loving and powerful, he won‟t let me
suffer all these things, I don‟t believe in his purpose anymore,
He cursed me.
But this guy....
What is he doing inside my dreams?
How is he connected to my life?
But still I don‟t want to stress myself so I go back where I
used to, a deep sleep.
SATURDAY
I woke up lonely, its Saturday and don‟t have anything to
do but to clean this house. I went out to my room; go to the
refrigerator if Aunt had left a note for me.
Faith,
I left you money here, It‟s up to you how will you budget
it, buy your food first at the market, clean this house. Be sure
after my return, all are set and clean. I will return late in the
evening.
Together with the note is a five hundred peso bill, she‟s
going to be late, from where?
Ughhh. Never mind, maybe she‟s going to gamble again.
I set off directly to the bathroom and bath, after that I
move to the market to buy my food for the whole day.
While I was finding a store, I saw a soul, a female soul,
together with the family she left, her husband I think and their
son. She never abandoned her son even she‟s dead, how I think
Mom and Dad would be like her too.
There are few souls here, but they are just Benigns, they
don‟t harm people. I thought there are no souls inside a crowded
place, but they‟re here.
I bought a kilo of `chicken for adobo, it‟s been a long time
since my last time eating adobo. I also bought a bottle of vinegar
and soy sauce, pepper and potatoes.
I‟m finished already, I bought no more so I decided to
return home.
I‟m on my way through the terminal when someone hit
and crash towards me.
All my items fell on the ground but the one who hits me,
picked them up and astonishingly he‟s the weird guy again.
I thanked him and walked away quickly apart from him
but before that I heard him calling my name.
“Mira, right?” how could he know my name? So i did not
answer his call,
“Please, wait Mira!”
What‟s the matter with this weird guy?
“First of all Mr, don‟t call my name coz I don‟t even know you,
second how did you know my name and third are you stalking
me?” I asked him irritably.
But he just laughed and said,
“Easy Mira, I‟m not stalking you!” he replied.
“Then, I won‟t waste my time for you!” I turned away from him
but he‟s not stopping.
“Mira!!........”
I did not let him finish his words and shut him up
“Stop calling me Mira!! I don‟t even know you, crazy”
How come that he know my name? I never tell my name
to him or talking to him either. Anyways, he‟s just crazy.
There are no jeepneys, when I got here at the terminal,
I‟ve been waiting for five minutes but no jeeps are coming! Im an
impatient girl and I don‟t want to waste my time waiting for a
thing.
So I decided to walk from here to our home, I‟m not a
stagey type of a girl, I can walk a distance, since its my family‟s
favourite bond.
Back when I was a child, after attending Mass at the
church, we will walk a kilometre from the church to our home; we
will eat whenever we will see a pick-a food store.
Sometimes, we stay at the park, there we play and picnic
for a long time especially during their pay days.But that was in the
past, right now,
I‟m all by myself now, no one to share with my pick-a
food, even my Piattos. Minutes passed, I finally made it to my
favourite park.
I sat on my favourite part of the park, the swing, I was
just happy back then swinging here, but now everything seems so
gray, no happiness, no excitement.
“There are still many ways to comfort your soul, you can never be
that always” a voice talked behind me.
Guess where it‟s from?
From the weird guy! He‟s here again but right now he has
expressions of concern for me.
“Nathan!” he lend his hands to me but I just look at it, I look at his
face, he was so cute, he has this charisma that everybody loves,
his smiles and his teeth, he looks like a demi god but he‟s just so
intrusive!!
“Hey, I‟m Nathan!” he said waving his hands as I was an idiot.
“And then,,, how should I care” I haught.
“Mira, I‟m Nathan Sebastian” he said in a very cute way, shocks
his charm, why is he doing this?
“How did you know my name? Nathan Sebastian?” I asked him, he
sat on the other swing and talked to me.
“Well....” he‟s going to explain but I outran him.
“You‟re stalking me?” I asked but he did not reply.
“I‟m right!! You‟re stalking me, silence means yes!” but he still
don‟t have his answer.
“Hayyyssstt,, you‟re stalking me Mr. Nathan”
“Okay, you win, I admit it, I‟m stalking you” I suddenly laugh out
loud,
“Why??” I‟m still laughing so hard because of his confession.
“See, I made you laugh, you‟re beautiful when you‟re smiling” he
said in a serious way.
From that, I started to frown again.
“Hey!! You‟re frowning again!” he said.
“What‟s your purpose” I asked him hurriedly
“huh?”
“I said, what‟s your purpose, why do you want me to smile? How
did you know me? What is your purpose?” that was my most
serious question I‟d ever ask, I think?!
“Well, look, every time I see you inside the campus, you‟re always
alone, you‟re just walking and studying you by yourself,
sometimes you are bullied, you‟re teased by your classmates. I
never saw you smiling even a single smirk, I never saw that to
you. So I came here to you as a...”
“As a?”
“As a friend, Mira!” he said.
“I don‟t trust everyone, I‟m an introvert and I don‟t usually talk to
others, but this time you‟re stepping of my character..” I replied to
him, now.
I have this smile on my face.
“But wait” I continued, “Are you a student?”
“Nope!”
“A teacher?”
“Nope!”
“Then what?”
“Let‟s just say I‟m one of the staff.” He replied while looking at the
sky.
Then there a silence between us,
“Tell me about your story!” I asked him interestingly.
“You first!”
“eh?! I asked you first!” I grumbled.
“Faster... I wanna know more about you!” Nathan.
“Fine.... I am Almira Faith Salvador, a nursing student. As a
student, I experienced a lot of mocking and scorns from my
classmates towards my personality and character.
They call me weird, nerd and I don‟t think what their
problem is, I used to focus myself studying but their words really
hurt a lot. These things would not happen if my parents didn‟t
died...”
“Wait! Your parents are both dead?” he asked me like he was just
concern.
“Yes, and because of that happening, everything in my life turns
into ruins, I had never rebuilt myself again.
I used to smile back then, I used to belong with people
and I used to enjoy my life with my family.
Until, this so called “CREATOR” takes my family‟s lives and
joy. That God put them into an accident; he let them die in an
unknown time.”
“Are you mad to God?” he asked.
“Who am I going to blame? Myself? You? Or the other people who
also caught in accident? It‟s he who is responsible for every
human‟s life, he made it and he should take care of it.”
“But he has plans!” he debated
“Plans for what? At first, I believe that he has plans but then
things start to change. Did he plan this? If he truly cares for me,
then why did he put me here!” tears again started to fall out from
my eyes.
I can‟t handle this situation I had.
“Sorry for that!” he asked
“No, you don‟t have to, it‟s normal for me to cry and weep every
time.”
“Alright, we have the same story?” he said while nodded.
“Same? I think were not” I disagreed to him, to his face, how can
be that way too?
“Let‟s just say that we have the same situation but I‟m the one
who got lost” I look at him, he has this gloomy face after saying
words.
But I don‟t understand him,
“Ahhh... get lost? Meaning I‟m the one who moved, uhhmmm I
became a prodigal son” he added.
“Why, tell me your story?” I asked, he just look at me and it takes
couple of seconds before he start to tell it.
“I won‟t.” He thriftily said but I opposed him, it‟s unfair for me, I
told my story to him.
“Hey!! I have told my story to you, tell yours too!”
“Maybe at the right time?” and now he‟s getting strange again.
“I‟m just playing safe” he continued.
“Playing safe?” I started to doubt him, what‟s the matter with him
and I think there is something that I should know about him.
“Who are you?” I asked him curiously, it‟s not a literal question, I
want to know his real purpose and identity, I know that there is
some strange thing happening between me and Nathan.
“You‟ll know my purpose!” he said and at fast pace, he suddenly
vanished.
What‟s with that guy? He‟s really weird. I look around the
park to find Nathan, but he‟s not there anymore just a cold air
surrounded me when I got up.
I stayed at the park for 30 minutes, I really miss this place
but one thing is not unbelievable, from the start where I met
Nathan, there are no kids here, there are no children playing.
I‟m just the only one swinging here. But Nathan, he made
me smile, I won‟t forget this feeling and day.
After 30 minutes, I started to walk again from the park
down through our home.
CHAPTER 8: FRIENDED
_______________________________
While walking, I decided to pass by the cemetery to visit
my parents‟ tomb. I first went some flowers, while walking; I
remembered all anger and resentment when they left me.
I saw counted people visiting their loved ones here; I can
also see souls behind some of them. I come near to my parent‟s
tomb and clean it.
I talked to them although I knew they won‟t answer me
back.
“Mom, Dad,” tears started to fall again before saying their names.
“I missed you so much *sniff* it‟s been years since you left me
*sniff* and I think I will never be the same again *sniff* I will
never move on, the pain here in my heart *sniff* is permanent.
I am completely lost, unable to express what had just
happened to you *sniff* and refused to allow the process of
healing begin by closing myself off from everyone around me
*sniff*. There are no nights *sniff* that I would cry for you, I
never show to everyone my smile, I became weak.
If only *sniff* I could set an expiration date for this pain
and heal myself but I could not *sniff*. I was in denial and did not
face the fact that it all happened in just a single snap.”
I know I‟m crying so much, but I didn‟t care about my
surroundings.
“Mom *sniff* Dad *sniff*, please go back!!! I love you!!”
Then cold winds passed by me, making my cry get loud,
“MOOM!!!!” I screamed out.
“DAAAD!!!”
LORRAINE’S P.O.V
Saturday, when I thought of visiting my grandpa on the
cemetery. While driving my car inside the cemetery, I saw Mira
inside also, I keep on watching her.
She‟s mourning and out of nowhere, she‟s sitting on a
tomb, who‟s buried there?
I decided to visit first my grandpa and go back to Mira, so
I can talk to her. After almost 20 minutes, I saw her leaving the
tomb; I watched over her, open my car‟s glass shield and call
her....
“Mira!” she turned back to me while wiping his eyes that used to
be in tears
“Lorraine?? What are you doing here?” she seems surprised.
“I visited my grandpa? How about you?”
She took a long time answering my question,
“ahhh...uhmmm..Nothing, I just visited a friend.” She replied that
looks untruly in her ways.
“Ride on!” I asked her, I want to talk to her, I want to befriend
Mira. I want to know her more, and from now on, I am feeling this
guilt back when I became one of her haters.
Right now, I want to repent and be a friend for her. I want
to influence her in a way she would be a perfect woman, but in a
good way hehe.
“Huh?”
“Mira, hop on!!”
Without a word, she hopped on my car and ride with me.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked.
“Is it bad? I‟ll treat you!”
“Lorraine, look we‟re not friends and I don‟t trust people. How can
I be sure you won‟t harm me?”
This is the fruit of pissing her off, she will not trust me
cause I‟d become so mean to her.
“Later, you will know, trust me; this is not a trap, just a friendly
treat. I‟ll explain it to you!”
She locked in her seatbelts meaning she wants to go with
me. I pulled up the hoop and start to drive. We went to a
restaurant and when we were there, I saw teardrops slowly flowing
down to her face, what‟s the matter with her?
We went inside and sat in a table where there are no
people besides it, a perfect place for reconciliation haha.
The waiter offered the menu, I picked our food and wait
for its preparation.
“So what are we going to discuss?” she asked.
“I want to say sorry” while nodding; I said it sincerely to her.
“Sorry for what?”
“For everything, from being a mean gal, pisser and....” I‟m not
finish with my words when,....
“Okay, I get it”
“What?” I surprisingly asked.
“Apology accepted.” She pardoned
“Really? Why?”
“Forgiveness?? By Mr. Falkner!”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Go on, you‟re my acquaintance now!”
“Before we enter this resto, I saw you teary? What‟s wrong with
you?” I asked.
“Nothing, my eyes hurts only.” She replied without looking at me.
“I know you have something to tell, honestly, I‟m pushing myself
just to understand you. Tell me, what‟s your problem?”
“You don‟t have to push yourself, Lorraine. Besides, I‟m well-
trained of understanding myself and nothing more” Mira said.
“Mira! Stop being stupid! You‟re not the only one, I am also like
you! I don‟t have someone who will consistently be on my side, to
lean of.” I also explained her myself, she seemed flabbergasted
with my words but these are all true.
“I‟m sorry to hear that. To tell you the truth, I visited my parents
in the cemetery, not a friend. My parents died last year and still I
can‟t move on, I disclosed myself to everyone, became an
introvert and never trust anyone. I can‟t accept every happening in
my life, I love my parents, I hope for a perfect future with them
and have faith.
But these faith, hope and love that people believe have
not been granted to me. Faith became doubt, I never believed
hope until it turns into despair, and love turns me into an
untouchable person. And I‟m touched when my story looks like you
too.” Mira.
“We have the same life set, but what makes us different is that my
parents are alive, but they have no place for me, they‟d never
consider me as their child, business here, business there.
Only my grandfather understands me. I had my first love
but he broke it, nobody wants to be part of my life, I‟m a hopeless
child, a hopeless romantic and a hopeless like you too.”
“Mira, I‟m sorry if I judged you, for running of against you. But
now, I finally understand that I am not the only one suffering from
seclusion, we have the same status, and I think we can
understand each other” I added.
“Can we be friends? Close friends?” I asked her.
“Close friends” she lend her hand as a sign of our friendship.
“Thank you, Mira!” I hugged her, “For whatever will happen, I‟ll be
always here to lend my sympathy. Maybe I‟m a mean girl but in
fact I still have my moral attitude in my heart. They were just
covered by pains and problems”
She massaged my back to comfort me, I can‟t believe that
we have the stuff and I think we can help each other.
“Mira, whenever you need help, I‟m always here and I hope we
can help each other.”
“Of course, you know what?” she asked.
“What?”
“You‟re my first friend after the death of my parents” she smirked.
“Really? Im touched.. Well look, you‟re smirking!!” I teased her,
that‟s the first time I saw her smiling even at her simplest way.
“You know what too? You‟re beautiful, you just need to transform!”
I said.
“Transform?”
“Yes, a brand new transformation. I can help you with that!”
“Maybe, sooner, but not now.”
“Okay!!”
And after that, our orders are well present on our table.
We tackled everything, our favourites, hobbies and everything that
will know us deeper. By then my feelings soften for her.
We used to discuss more but she said that she needs to go
home, she needs to clean their house so I brought her to their
house and after that I went back home.
Mira is neither weird nor nerd; she‟s a loving woman and
may be a good friend.
I love her personality and we have this mutual
characteristics and attitude towards other people and I think this
will be my first step of taking her to a brand new side of her.
CHAPTER 9: NATHAN THE WEIRD
________________________________
MIRA’S P.O.V
This is a weird day. First, that weird guy named Nathan
that I encountered at the market and at the park and my
conversation with him and leave suddenly in just a blink of an eye.
Second, with Lorraine, it was impossible to talk with her and
probably now we became friends.
I can‟t believe but honestly I felt afraid and happy. Afraid,
because I thought that this will only be an immediate situation,
again. Happy because my feelings now has soften.
I have now a friend that I could issue forth my
supplications. Despite, I‟ll be no longer will experience sorrow and
never be alone again, I hope.
I already finished cooking our food; I sat on our sofa and
did not notice that I already fallen asleep. It‟s like I‟m dreaming,
my mind was awake but my body is physically sleeping. I saw the
Light!! Am I dreaming? I saw an image of a human but...
I can‟t recognize who she is or who he is. Until, the door
was knocked, Aunt Sally woke me up. She‟s drunk, I stand
immediately and help her enter our house, she‟s swaying and I
have to carry her.
One thing, I did not tell is that she started wasting her life
when her husband died because of a car accident.
After that, I never had a serious talk with her, just like me,
I never saw her smiling but she never neglected me.
I laid her on her room and wiped her face. She‟s deep
asleep, she‟s only coming back home when she‟s already drunk but
I never saw her wild again.
Unlike before, she imprisoned herself on her room and
broke everything inside.
I left her and locked her door.
I ate and lie on my bed after but I can‟t sleep; I can‟t calm
down. I sit and think about it. I suddenly remembered Nathan the
weird, who really is he? And at the first place why did he know my
name?
He‟s always watching over me and like a dog, always
following me and its really good for me to call him STALKER.
I mean he always following me, whenever I go, he‟s
always there, and wait what if he knows my location too?
I feel nervous and frightened maybe now he‟s there
outside the window watching over me. No, I‟m not a paranoid, and
then I go to sleep.
I woke up at 5:30 AM and Aunt Sally was not around but
she left me a note
Mira, here‟s your pocket money. Take care always 
We don‟t talk too personal but despite, I feel her concern
and care for me. Hopefully she could turn back who she used to be
before.
Aunt Sally owes the responsibility to take care of me, she
doesn‟t have a child so when my parents died, they did not
hesitate to adopt me.
I‟ve arrived at school around 6:30 in the morning. I
decided to go at the school garden. At this moment, it‟s refreshing
to smell the breeze of air.
I sat on a bench and felt the peace, beauty and freshness
of my surrounding. I wish my life would be like this ahhhhh.
While walking on the corridor, someone hold my hand, It
was Lorraine!
“Hey! Mira, let‟s enter the room together” she said happily.
“You scared me?!”
“I‟m sorry hehe!”
. Before entering the room, I already saw Nathan inside our room
since he‟s the only one not wearing his uniform. He was just sitting
alone, but I manage to sit with Lorraine first.
Our class starts when Mr. Falkner entered our room,
minutes passed. Nathan was not yet introduced by our professor,
maybe he‟s just only an observer here, he‟s looking at me times
but I don‟t to ask him in the first place.
“Hey Mira! What‟s your problem? You‟re always looking at the
back?” Lorraine suddenly asked me.
“uhmmm nothing” I replied
“Are you sure? Are you really okay? If you‟re ill just tell me huh?”
she requested.
“No, don‟t worry, Im fine.” She just put her attention to what our
professor is saying.
I look at him again and at this time he‟s smiling, I don‟t
know how would respond, if I‟m going to pay him a smile or just
ignore his weirdness but the thing is, I think I‟m blushing.
Our class has finished and I‟m about to go home, I packed
up my things and step out from our room.
Lorraine said she have to go coz she‟s going somewhere. I
hurriedly step on the elevator then come Nathan the weird.
We were just two here inside, my heart‟s beating fast due
to anxiousness, silence broke when he call my name.
“Mira” in just a soft voice, my body fur started to prickle. I just
looked at him and did not say a thing.
„Mira” he‟s calling me again.
„Yes, why? Do you have anything to say?” without looking at him.
“Are you scared of me? Why can‟t you stare at me?” he asked.
“huh? Why should I be scared? You‟re not a ghost?” I replied.
“So you‟re afraid of ghosts?” he asked again but I did not mind his
question and just frown on him.
“you have so many questions!”
When the elevator has opened, I quickly ran of him.
CHAPTER 10: AUNT SALLY
________________________________
That night, Aunt Sally went home again drunk.
I carry her to her room and wipe her face, then leave her
sleeping. But before I leave I look unto her and,,,
“Hayyy, Auntie, when will you stop all your vices?! When are we
going to have a serious talk, do I matter to you? Hayyy”
Then I close the door and go to my room and have sleep.
Sunday
I woke late at exactly 10 AM, it‟s Sunday and again, I have
nothing to do but to stay here and do chores that I have not yet
done yesterday.
I went out to my room and saw Aunt sitting on the dining
table; she‟s having her coffee and reading a newspaper,
“Mira, have you cleaned the house?” she asked while continuing
reading her tabloid.
“Not yet po.” I replied
“WHAT?? What have you done yesterday?!”
“I‟m sorry Auntie!”
“NO!! WHAT DID I SAY TO YOU?? MIRA!! YOU‟RE PURSUING ME
AGAIN TO CONSIDER YOU A BURDEN HERE!!!” she scolded.
“I‟m sorry” That‟s all I can just say for now, since it was really my
fault.
“errrr..WHY DO I HATE THIS LIFE??!!” she throw her tabloid and
steps out from the house.
Do I become a burden to her? Hope not. Maybe she‟s still
drunk. I grab the broom and dustpan and start cleaning the house.
For an easier work, I also do cleaning and cooking rice.
From my room, to the living room, I carefully clean all the
dirt and mess inside, I did not remember that I was also cooking
the rice and did not smell it burning.
“MIRA!! THE RICE!!” Aunt hurriedly ran off through the kitchen and
switch off the gasoline tank.
I ran also towards the kitchen,
“WHAT‟S HAPPENING TO YOU?”
“I was just cleaning, and I forget about it.”
“LOOK!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE MIRA?!!”
”I‟m sorry.”
“HOW LONG WILL YOU SAY THAT WORD, ACT PROPERLY MIRA!!!
YOU‟RE BEING DUMB AGAIN!!!”
These words really pierced my feelings, it hurts, it really
hurts but I will accept it, it‟s my fault.
“GO DO THE OTHER CHORES!!”
I just followed her instructions and do the other chores.
While washing my clothes, I feel I‟m about to weep, I can‟t take
this any longer.
After all the chores, I went to my room and dressed, I
should go out so I can relieve this all.
Since its Sunday and I don‟t have nothing else to do
inside, I will spend my time outside.
There are a lot of people when I step out from our house,
It‟s church day and people are going to church, bells were jingling
all over our place, there were also lots of business stores around
the church temple, food stalls and religious stores.
I was just sitting on a bench when I saw Nathan walking
towards me, with his killer smile and charm; I could not get over
on his face.
“Mira!”
“Hey Nathan!” he sat beside me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Church!” he thriftily said
“How about you? Aren‟t you going there?”
“No, I don‟t believe him anymore!” I said sarcastically.
“Huh?” he asked in awe.
“I said I don‟t believe him anymore.”
“Why?”
“Hey I told it to you when were at the park!”
“Aww sorry” Nathan
A moment of silence took place between us and then he
asked me to go with him.
“Where are we going, hey!” he‟s just holding my arm and take me
to a place that I don‟t know, I can feel his hands on me and its
cold.
We‟re heading towards the church temple.
“Nathan! What we are going to do there?”
“God has plans why he has put you in that place, and the only
thing you could do is to accept your fate because at the end you
will know his purpose!” he said while hauling me.
I put his hands off me and started to debate him.
“Plans? Purpose? Is these all his plans, to let people suffer?” I
asked.
“Yes he has his plans, he has his purpose. But he does not want us
to suffer, he wants us to understand and follow his will” he
answered.
“If he‟s all loving, why did he let people suffer and allowed death?”
We reach the church door while talking and debating
“It‟s not a right question, but I‟ll answer it”
“Well if you know he‟s the one who made your sufferings, it only
means that you still believe in him. God is not responsible for the
wars, crimes, the oppression or even the natural disaster that
cause people to suffer.
It‟s ours, it‟s our responsibility, imagine if the thieves will
not be thieves, then crimes would not take place. If the pilot on
that plane secured the plane, then there would be no plane crush.
Another is that, all things are planned, we have each one
a calling or a call for purpose, we have to deal with it because it
has been written.
Look, these people inside this church also have sufferings,
maybe some of them is heavier than your sufferings, some of
them are all alone, and some of them are always crying because of
lost.
But look, did they stop believing? Did they stop
worshipping?
No, actually all their sufferings helped them to be more
faithful, some of them became more courageous and some of
them became strong. Sufferings are not made for people to suffer
but to know more about our faith and let God‟s will be done unto
them.”
He looked at me sincerely but I felt guilty that time, but
what‟s my calling?
“Let‟s go” we entered the church and kneel at the front pew, the
nearest part towards the altar.
I missed going here, ever since my parents died, I never
visited here; I miss the ambiance, the atmosphere and its sanctity
that made my feelings lighter.
I was just looking around kneeling when the choir start to
practice a song for the next service, and it‟s really a solemn song
Huwag Kang mangamba,
Di ka nag iisa
Sasamahan kita
Saan man magpunta.
Ika‟y mahalaga sa king mga mata
Minamahal kita, Minamahal kita
Tinawag kita sa yong pangalan
Ikaw ay akin magpakilanman
Ako ang Panginoon mo at Diyos
Tagapagligtas mo at tagatubos.
The song helped me to reconcile with him, I pray for his
guidance, to renew myself and accept my life status, coz I know it
would be hard for me to move on.
I want to stand up after my fall, and that my faith to him
will be back as I used to back then.
Thanks to Nathan.
I ended my prayer and sit back and feel the presence of
God inside this church.
“Are you okay now?” Nathan looked at me asking if I was okay.
“Yeah”
“Do you believe in him again?” Nathan.
“I‟m still doubting, Nathan. Can you help me please?” I asked him
sincerely.
“I will do my best but I bet you can do it by yourself quickly, this
will be your recovery, Mira.” He supported cheerfully.
“I hope so”
“Mira, I have to go” he suddenly fared to me, looks like he has
many things to do first so I also send my farewell and bye each
other.
I am still inside the church when I saw Aunt Sally; she‟s
kneeling in my prayer and she‟s crying.
I want to approach her but I think she‟s still mad at me,
so it would be better if I will not come up to her.
I was on my way outside when I saw Advocates, spiritual
beings with four wings; they are guarding the church and then
suddenly the service started.
I saw also numerous souls attending the mass service. But
one that catches my sense is the soul of my uncle, his face.
I quickly ran off to him but he‟d gone so fast. I‟d never
mind it and went outside.
Then suddenly, the soul of uncle appeared on a garden
outside the church, I follow him until we met faces.
His face looks he did not die from cancer, he renewed and
had expressed peace. I look him eye to eye and tried to contact
him.
“Uncle.”
“Mira, you‟ve grown up”
“Uncle, why are you here? Don‟t you wanna go there up the
Light?” I asked.
“What Light?” they did not know Light? Ohhh..
“The eternal place?”
“Heaven” he said. Heaven, the eternal happiness, maybe it‟s the
same with the Light.
I used to term it Light, the time when I started
disbelieving God.
“Yes, heaven, don‟t you wanna go there?”
“Not now, my mission is not yet finished” he said.
“Mission?”
“As long as you and your Aunt can‟t recover, I will be always
here.” He said
So he‟s guiding us every day, how about my parents?
“How abou......” I am about to ask my parents to when he started
to move apart from me.
“Uncle!!!! Wait......” but he‟s gone
“How about my parents” I lose hope again to my parents.
How I wish I could see their souls.
Aunt Sally is lucky to have Uncle as her husband, though
he‟s dead, he is still there to protect and see her.
CHAPTER 11: FIRST STEP
________________________________
Monday again, start of class, I was on a bench inside the campus
waiting for my time when,
“HEY!!” Lorraine stunned me at the bench.
“Whew, you scared me!!”
“I‟m sorry, what are you doing here?” I‟m still catching my breath
after I shout out of surprise.
“wheewww...just waiting for our time...wheeeww..”
“Why don‟t you hang out with our classmates in our room?” she
asked.
“You know what my reason is!” I replied.
“Okay, fine! You want to take the FIRST STEP!!”
“First Step?”
“Yah, FIRST STEP to Stardom---eh--- RECOVERY!! Woop woop”
she said, acting too weird.
“So what‟s the first step hmmm?”
“After our class, I‟ll take you there. Let‟s go my friend”
“Okay, my friend” and we laughed together. It‟s so pleasant to
have a friend now, at least it will not be the guards but also
Lorraine.
When we entered the room, all of the attention inside
belongs to us alone, some of them were surprised, others were
murmuring while the others see as weird gals.
“What are you looking to?” Lorraine asked meanly.
And then they turned back to their own businesses,
eavesdropper hmmm..
We sit beside each other and talk and talk.
All of our professors came here to teach our lectures, two
weeks more before our Midterms exam, that‟s why all of them
were rushing their lessons.
Then came our recession and time to go home, but I and
Lorraine are off to somewhere to do my FIRST STEP- thingy.
While on the hallway, Lorraine heard some of our
classmates murmuring about us.
“Lorraine used to befriend with Mira coz midterms is coming, she‟s
going to use Mira to pass the exam” she looks mad while she‟s
hearing it.
“What did you said?” she asked to our two classmates.
“WHAT?” they asked like they were not talking.
“Damn you both!!” Lorraine finalized and walked away.
We hopped on her car and go to that First step place,
In a just 20 minutes we reached the place, at the mall. I
don‟t get this woman.
“What are we doing here?” I asked her.
“Just follow me. Let‟s go”
We headed towards it and went to an optical store.
“What are we doing here? Lorraine.”
“Mira has a lot of questions? Hayyss. Just go with me!”
“Fine” we heads toward it and go to the clerk.
“Where are your contact lenses, Can we check it, thank you!”
She‟s checking for a contact lens, but to whom?
“Contact lenses?” I asked her.
“Maam, what grade?” the clerk asked.
“What‟s your eye grade? She asked me.
“Why?”
“WHAT‟S YOUR EYE GRADE?”
“250 – 500”
“Miss, 250-500” Lorraine said to the clerk.
“We‟re gonna buy you a contact lens as a replacement to this
weird eyeglasses” she put off my eyeglasses and throw it away,
people look at it but she never think of it.
“Lorraine?! My eyeglasses!!” I whined to her.
“Don‟t care about it, I said we‟re gonna buy you a contact lens”
“But I don‟t have money to buy it?” then the clerk offered the
contacts with many colors, red, brown, black and blue.
“Pick your colour” she said.
“But I don‟t have mon....”
“I said, pick your colour. I‟m going to buy it for you!!” she looks
irritated.
I picked the contact lens with a brown colour coz I think
the others would not fit in to me.
Lorraine asked me to put it on and I do so.
At first, it‟s kinda irritable to wear but Lorraine said that I
will sooner adopt it.
We stepped out of the store and went to another. At the
salon,
“TADA!!! Step 1.2, you have the eyes and now it‟s time for
MAKEOVER!!” Lorraine said.
“You know, you don‟t have to do this, Lorraine; how can I pay you
back?”
“Look, Mira, I‟m doing this for you, I just want to transform you in
a way that everyone will admire you. You have the beauty both
inside and outside, but people never saw it because you‟re always
alone; and consider me now not as a friend, not as a best friend
but a fairy godmother!” I don‟t how should I react but I find him
sincere in her own way.
“Let‟s go!” she held my hand and went inside the salon
“MS. LORRAINE!!!” the clerk said and he‟s gay.
“The usual thing?” the clerk asked.
“Yes but this time, for two!” Lorraine replied.
“Oww, you‟re maid?” the gay asked that made me slight mad
“Hey, she‟s my best friend!” then the Mr.gay looked surprised
about that.
I rolled my face and gave her the fiercest face.
“aah..uhmm. Sarah!! Take Ms. Lorraine inside!” said by Mr. Gay
“This way Maam” one of the staff said and leadus inside the spa
salon.
“Are you ready, Mira?” Lorraine asked to me.
I nod my head as a sign of agreement, here I come, a
brand new me is coming!!
But the other side of me asks if this is right, if is it alright
to recover from pain and breathe again normally.
We were first introduced to a facial spa, where facial
scrubbing is undergoing.
It took about 30 minutes to finish a session. But after that
long session, I never thought of seeing my face, I transformed into
a whiter one from oily to smooth ones..
“Look at that, Mira! You are now a demigod!!” Lorraine frauds on
me.
“No comment.. ahahahahah”
“Well that‟s only the beginning” Lorraine.
Next, we moved to the salon area, this is where hair
cutting and hair colouring are done. The staff cut first my hair, cut
off my bangs and into a V style.
Then hair colouring, Lorraine decided to use chestnut
brown on some parts, she said it would not be good if all my hair
parts will be coloured.
It took so long to cut and colour my hair since I rarely
combing it. There are also a lot of dandruffs there, but no lice
hehe..
Then after all the session, I look at the mirror and find myself
awesome, Lorraine sits beside me and look also at the mirror.
“Hey, you‟re more beautiful than me now, Mira!”
“Is it really me?” while touching my face, I asked myself if it‟s
really me.
“Yes it‟s you, the true you. Now that is step 1.2, let‟s move on to
step 1.3!!” she said to me and pulled me outside.
“BYE MS.LORRAINE!!” screamed by Mr. Gay.
“Where are we going next, Lorraine?” I asked her.
“Just wait and see, dear!!”
We are on the fifth floor of the mall, this is where cinemas
are located.
“Cinema?” I asked.
“Yah!!”
So we went inside it, there are lot of people inside waiting
for the movie to start. We sat on the uppermost part of the cinema
and wait too.
After a minute, the movie starts. With a popcorn on our
hands, Lorraine and I are excited to watch this much awaited
movie of one of the famous artist comedian in the country.
Since the beginning up to the climax, the movie is so much
funny and laughable; there are no scenes that you will laugh and
scream caused by tons of shaggy dag stories and gags.
Lorraine was just looking at me while laughing,
“You‟re smiling now, my dear!!” she said happily just like Nathan.
“Pssshh, just watch first!”
It took almost two hours watching the movie and for sure it would
be a big hit, and until the end, the movie is still funny, leaving big
smiles on every audience that exits the cinema.
“Aren‟t we finished yet?” I asked Lorraine after we egress from the
cinema.
“One last Step, this is step 1.4!!” she replied.
CHAPTER 12: PRISTINE
_______________________________
I‟ve always been a kind of girl
that hid my face.
So afraid to tell the world
what I‟ve I got to say
But I have this dream bright inside of me
I‟m gonna let it show, it‟s time to let you know
To let you know
This is real, This is me
I‟m exactly where I‟m supposed to be now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I found who I am, there‟s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
this is me.
I‟m walking inside the campus, along the hallway, listening
to this music. Well, this is me now, a brand new me, the pristine
one, but I still lack confidence.
I had my contacts on, no more nerdy eyeglasses.
I had my hair fallen, no more bangs that nearly covers my
whole forehead.
I had my smile now, but just 50%, I still have the sword
in my heart. Everyone‟s looking at me and I‟m still shy.
The Step 1.4? Ahhh yeah, well I‟m wearing it now.
Lorraine bought me clothes, skirts and a pair of doll shoes.
It took almost an hour to find the best suit for me;
Lorraine was so choosy; I had to go in and out of the dressing
room just to find the right fit.
I am now on my way to my classroom, walking in
inhibition and shyness.
I have this beautiful aura yet I don‟t have confidence to
carry this, but I know in the mean time I can handle it.
When i entered the room, everyone caught my attention;
they‟re staring at me, multiplying my shyness overload.
They continue to look at me until I reach my desk. Then
Kim, one of our classmates approached me,
“Hi! I‟m Kim” she introduced herself as if I was new here. But
Lorraine spoiled her initiation.
“Hey! Kim! She knows you!” Lorraine said.
“What are you trying to say?” Kim in doubt.
“That‟s Mira!!” all of our classmates look at us in disbelief after
what Lorraine had said.
“woahhh woahh, I don‟t believe you?” Kim said,
“Believe it or not, it‟s Lorraine!” our classmates began to murmur
with each other, others were amazed and others were really in
disbelief.
“Then, prove it!” Kim challenged Lorraine to prove that I am really
Mira.
“Ask a question, she will answer it!” Lorraine accepted the
challenge.
“Well, well! Hmm..Classmates?” Kim looked towards our
classmates for a question that will prove me.
“Kim!” Nick raised his hands for a question, Nick is my contender
here in our room, he‟s always mad at me because I am always at
the first top.
He‟s always for a competition making him so competitive
and always ready for an action.
Nick went on the front and started to test me
“Well, if you really are Mira, what are the scientific methods used
in Sociology?” while smirking, he asked me the question that is
really hard for me to answer, but not this time!
“Go, Mira!”
While sitting, I intellectually answer his question.
“All phenomena can be studied scientifically. Scientific
methodology is a carefully planned, systematic and objective
investigation of some question or problem connected with
phenomena. The methods of sociological research are basically the
same, but techniques according to the materials being studied.
Today, anyone with a serious interest in understanding
society should think of ways by which social facts can be gathered
and properly evaluated. Three basic techniques are commonly
used on sociological research.
These are 1.)Observation,
2.)Case study and
3.) Statistical Method.
Observation, as one of the most important tools of the
social researcher, should be utilized after some degree of training.
Case study is a complete detailed account of phenomenon,
as a religious movement.
And statistical method refers also to the quantitative
method because it utilizes mathematics in interpreting social
phenomena.”
Then finished my answer with a smile.
Nick, Kim together with my classmates were amazed,
imagine their mouths open wide, just how funny.
Well, it really boosts my confidence now. Lorraine put her
hands interfaced while saying,
“Close your mouths go back to your respective seats for what you
see is just Almira Faith Salvador.”
Then all of them took their seats in shock and
flabbergasted, Look took her seat also and then stood up again.
“Quote for the day: Be careful who you bully” she gave her final
words and sit again.
Our classmates were in silent mode after all what
happened.
“You did great Mira! Congratulations” Lorraine greeted me.
“Thank you” I replied warily.
20 minutes has passed, Mr. Falkner entered our class and
start to call for attendance.
“Pretoria!”
“Present, Sir!”
“Quizon”
“Present”
“Quesada!”
“Present”
“Ramos!”
“Present”
“Salvador” I raised my hands but Mr. Falkner ignored me,
“Salvador!” I‟m still raising my hands but he‟s still ignoring me.
“Where is Ms. Salvador?! You, raise down your hands, I won‟t
entertain questions first!!” he said.
“Ms. Salvador!!” he called again.
“But she‟s Salvador sir!!” Lorraine shouts out
Mr. Falkner looked at her then at me wandering if it‟s
really me, he put off his eyeglasses and squint, then cleaned it and
put back.
But he did not say any word,
“Sellona”
“Present” and just continue his call for attendance; Lorraine just
laugh
All of our professors didn‟t believe that I am Mira, our prof.
in Caregiving laughed at me but when I proved myself, just like
my classmates earlier, she had his mouth wide open.
Lorraine and I were walking o the hallway, discussing all
the things that happened earlier.
“Have you seen the face of Mrs. Calla? Just a little wide more, flies
will surely go through it ahahhaha!!” she said while laughing out
loud.
“Hey, stop it but ahahhaahahaha.” I burst into laughter also, a
silent laugh, I‟m still me in the inside.
Our talk keeps on when Kim and Ailyra approached us with
both eyebrows raised.
“How much did you spend?” asked Kim. I don‟t get her, but
Lorraine just smirked at her
“Look...” Lorraine did not finish her words because Kim blocked
her.
“Let Mira, answer my question, I‟m not talking to you!”
“Answer us, how much did you spend?” Kim asked me for the
second time.
“huh?” I still don‟t get her point.
“Gosh, how much did you spend for your PLASTIC SURGERY?!”
she‟s intimidating me.
“It‟s not” I replied.
“Don‟t tell us a joke, Mira!!” Ailyra blotted,
“But, I‟m not kidding!”
“Tssss..just tell the truth.” Kim
“I‟m telling the truth” I answered back
“How...........”
“Hey stop it!!” Lorraine put me at her back and slabs me from Kim
and Ailyra,
“Don‟t try to......”Kim
“I said STOP!!” Lorraine rebuked her from being coercing the both
of us,
“She did not undergo PLASTIC SURGERY, it‟s her beauty hidden
inside and you have nothing to do with that, let‟s go!!”
Lorraine pulled my hands and escaped from them,
“And wait, I think it‟s not Mira who did plastic surgery, it‟s you, I
know your dirty secrets Kim, so shut up or else.....”
Lorraine gave her final words and Kim looks threatened by
her words.
We go down and go back to our homes. I accompanied
Lorraine to her car.
“Thank you for all, Lorraine, how should I pay you back?”
“No, you don‟t have to, next week, we will step on to the second
step.”
“hayyy,okay I‟ll wait for it, but seriously, why are you doing this?”
I asked her.
“Cause you‟re special” she replied
“Thank you, Lorraine, I owe you these”
We hugged each other, I never thought that Lorraine will
be my friend, a super best friend.
I never thought of having a close tie with her.
“Hey! Let‟s stop this drama! I‟ll deliver you at your house!”
“No, I‟m fine, I still have to go somewhere, go first, I will be taking
a bus” I refused
“Okay, bye best friend! Mwaah” she hopped on her car and starts
it.
I was waiting for a bus to stop over when Nathan, the
weird guy, stood beside me.
“Mira!” he‟s calling my name again!
“What?” I asked irritably.
“You‟ve changed!” he said
“Now what?”
“Nothing, I just noticed” he said while smiling, he‟s so handsome.
“Then?”
“Bye!!” he ran off again and for the second time, he‟s gone in just
a snap.
After a minute, a bus stopped over and delivered me
home. As usual, Aunt Sally is not inside so I go directly to my
room and look at the mirror.
This is the real me, this is that I used to be and it came
back to me again.
My eyes, face, hair and my smile, they come back, this is
recovery and I hope it will improve more.
I was looking myself at the mirror, when the door opened.
“Mir.......who are you?” It‟s Aunt Sally, and it looks she‟s surprised
too.
“Why are you at my niece‟s room? Who are you?”
“Auntie, relax!”
“Who are you? You‟re a thief hmmm.” She‟s getting suspicious
“THIEF!!!” Auntie screamed looking for a help
“Auntie, it‟s me Mira!”
“Really?”
“It‟s me, Aunt SALLY!!” I said stressing her name.
“What happened to you?” she asked
“Next time!” I replied, I‟m still not ready to have a talk with her. I
still have this guilt of being a burden for her.
I locked my room and prepare for sleep.
Well this is really me now; I sighed deeply and imagine things
sooner. Future, here I am.
Do you know what it‟s like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about life
Where you‟re the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it‟s too far away
I have to believe in myself
Its the only way
This is real, this is me
I‟m exactly where I‟m supposed to be now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I found who I am, there‟s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
this is me.
I am Almira Faith Salvador, this is real, this is me.
CHAPTER 13: FAITH
________________________________
Who are you now Mira? A man asked me, he‟s all in white,
he has a pure white skin toe, his face is inexpressible.
Then he took me to a high plateau where the lowlands are
covered by clouds, then suddenly the clouds move apart showing
the lowlands
“That‟s earth!” he pointed his hands to the lowlands
“What you‟re seeing now is the whole earth, its people and its
nature” I don‟t get his point why is he telling me this. I looked at
him but he‟s not staring at me.
“Look at this!” I looked to the one he‟s pointing too. Then I saw a
mountain moving, amazingly he can move mountains, the way he
moved his hands, that‟s how the mountains move also.
“Now, do the same things!” he said, how can I do that? But
without uncertainty, I did the same thing. I point my hand to that
mountain and try to move it.
The mountain is slowly moving, but my hands feel like I‟m
pulling a heavy piece, it‟s so heavy.
Then the man put off my arms, looks at me and smile.
“How does it feel?” he asked.
“It‟s heavy!”
“You still have to make yourself stronger” he said
“huh?” Really, I did not get his point.
I look at the mountain and then suddenly the man touched
my shoulders and
Wings spread out from his back, his body turned into a
spirit, and then he flew away from me, an Advocate? Angel?
Arghhhh .....
.
.
.
Dreams!! Those were just only dreams, but there‟s
something that the Advocate wants to tell.
I looked at my watch and what the............ It‟s 10 AM, I
did not attend my class, shocks. What can I do? I‟m already late,
as in super late.
I stepped to my room and pee, Aunt Sally invited me to
join her breakfast. So I do, I think this would be the right time to
have a serious talk with her.
“You‟re absent in your class, aren‟t you?” she asked
“Yes, Auntie, I did not notice my alarm!”I replied
“What have you done to yourself?”
“Auntie?”
“What did you do to yourself? I‟m happy to see you like that!” she
said happily.
“Thank you, Auntie but I‟m sorry........” I replied while nodding my
head.
“Sorry for what?” she asked
“If I‟m being a burden to you”
“shshhhhhhh..Don‟t ever think of that, I‟m just stressed that day
when I‟ve said that. I adopted you not because it‟s my
responsibility but because I know you need someone to treat as
your guardian, I‟m here not as an aunt but as your both mother
and father.” She said in a sincere way
“I should have said that to you, I‟m sorry, if I‟m a drunkard, a
gambler and I‟m addicted to it. I don‟t know how to stop this,
every time I would think about your uncle, it makes me hurt and
that is the only way to forget it, I‟m sorry.”
She continued, I can feel her devotion inside her together
with the grieves within her heart.
“Auntie?”
“Yes?”
“Last Sunday, I saw you inside the church, and you‟re crying too,
may I know what‟s the reason behind?”
“Your uncle, we have the same situation, I can‟t still move
forward, and that was the first time I visited the church after his
death.
I prayed and shout out to the Lord, to help me recover,
remove all the vices and reconcile myself with him. I want to stop
all these; I want to stop blaming him and for multiple times,
forgive me.
I want to recover my faith with his help, with his guidance
and his power. I want him to move me”
“You know what Auntie that was also the reason of visiting once
again the church to help me recover”
“And from what I see you‟re helping yourself, you‟re moving
towards recover, that‟s a good character Mira.
Continue it and you will be fulfilled” Auntie advised me
“And after that you can move mountains!” Auntie said in a point
that I don‟t get it.
“huh?”
“Mira, always remember, Faith can move mountains”
Faith can move mountains, wait., the one I dreamt of, the
Advocate. That‟s why it‟s hard for me to control that mountain,
meaning I still lacks faith.
Okay I get it!
Faith!!! Nathan?! I have to find Nathan?!
CHAPTER 14: SECOND STEP
________________________________
“Mira! Why are you absent yesterday?” Lorraine asked me while
waiting for our professor.
“I woke up at 10:00 in the morning” I replied.
“Fine! Later, we‟re going to have your Second Step huh?”
Oh yes, the second step, I forgot. It should be yesterday
but since I was absent, we postpone it later.
I also saw Nathan, inside the classroom but he‟s not
talking to anyone, I want to have a conversation with him, but
there‟s a force inside that tells me no.
Lorraine and I took all our vacant times, talking with each
other, we are really in a stage of friendship where we can trust
each other.
After our class, Lorraine takes me to her home, she‟s rich,
they have house maids, but where are her parents,
“Hey! Where are your parents?” I asked her while watching the
television inside her room.
“Just don‟t mind them” she answered like she‟s irritated. Maybe
she doesn‟t want to talk about it since she‟s not close with them.
“Mira, turn the TV off; I‟m going to be your teacher for Step 2” she
said while posing like a super model.
“Ok!” I stand up and wait for her to start her lesson.
“Now, since this is your second step training, your dear fairy
godmother wants you to boost your confidence in such a way that
people will admire you the most, gets it?!” she said while holding a
stick.
“Yes, fairy godmother!!”
Then she wave her stick like it does have a power on it
“bibidi badibi BOO!!”
“Step 2.1 HOW TO WALK IN CONFIDENCE!”
She showed me the way of walking, it‟s a simple walk that
would really attract people, I imitate her but her walk is still more
beautiful than me.
“Straight body, Chest in, then butt out”
I will let you listen to my heart
through my own style
oh listen listen girl
“MIRA! DON‟T BE SILLY!!
I put my chest in then butt out, now this time I made the
most confident walk
“Hi, my name is Mira Faith Salvador, from the Philippines and I
believe in saying Time is not Gold, its Copper”
“Hi, my name is Lorraine Jane Concepcion, from the country of
Philippines and I believe in a saying that KEEP OF THE GRASS,
thank you!!”
` We were just like that during step 1.2 modelling around
her room and doing crazy things connected to it.
So beautiful my girl
Oh oh girl
Even if time goes by
Compared to anyone else in the world
I will cherish you my girl I will give you my all
“Step 2.2 HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS!”
I can run to you anywhere you are
I always think about you
“Making friends to someone must be nice and pleasant, Mira! Now
what I want you is to let out your most pleasant smile first”
I smiled at her, an awkward smile. She scowled on me
saying it‟s not right.
“WHAATT?”
“Your smile is too nasty!!”
“How about this?” I showed her another shot of my smile,
“SPITEFUL!!”, I bobbed my head imagining the most pleasant
smile. Then I think, of Nathan, his smiles, it kills me; I imagine
myself paying back his smiles. I put my heads up and give
Lorraine the most pleasant smile.
“That‟s it!!” Lorraine said out of joy.
“After giving that smile, you should now make the first move;
people sometimes want others to do the first move. If you will do
that, I am 99.9% sure that they will give their response.”Lorraine
continued.
“Okay!”
“Third, Avoid dead airs, they will certainly feel bored when talking
to you, you should be talkative in a way that you can make them
amused and interested to know more about you”
“Okay!”
“Now, try it! Example I am a girl like you before, a loner one.”
I started to think how I could approach someone who‟s like
that, and then suddenly I remembered our first conversation, she
was so mean back then when she introduced herself and tried to
mock her.
“Hi!” I said.
“Hello?” her thrifty reply.
“I‟m Mira!”
But she ignored it, saying it‟s boring
“I think you don‟t know me since you‟re just sticking your whole
body in this chair and have your own world!” I said to her in a
sarcastic way.
Lorraine burst into laughter when I imitate her line when
we first met.
“Hey, that‟s my line!!” she said.
““You know what girl?! Why don‟t you try to be with us, to be with
others? Get out from your own world, go back to earth and enjoy
all things here! Hang out with guys; prioritize your self-enjoyment,
put out these weirdly notes and spare time with the society.”
And for the second time, she burst into hilarity and held
her tummy.
“That‟s it!! You did it! You got me there. I remember the first time
we talk.” Lorraine said.
“Next thing, always share who you are, share them your feelings
and disclose yourself.”
But it‟s hard for me to do that thing, I‟m afraid to know by
everyone my situation and life status, I don‟t want them to treat
me as a down woman.
I can‟t
“I know it‟s difficult for you to unveil yourself to others, but trust
me, it will surely help you recover from your past.” Lorraine held
my hand and sought me for concern.
“Will you help me?” I asked her.
“I will.”
It‟s so nice that I‟ve already found a friend to lean on from
my recovery. I have Nathan and Auntie to help me reconcile my
faith, now I have Lorraine to alter me.
“Tomorrow, I want you to do all the things that fairy godmother
taught you, okay?”
I just nod my head and cheered for myself, you can do it
Mira! You can!
Lorraine delivered me home after all the things that we‟ve
done, she asked me to prepare for tomorrow so that I‟m ready to
face the people and show the new Mira.
She went home while I go to my room and prepared my
things as what Lorraine have said.
CHAPTER 15: PEERS
________________________________
I woke up early to prepare myself, get my hair combed
and put my contacts on, it‟s now my daily routine not like before
that I used to go to school haggardly.
I dressed simply, a simple plain white shirt, skinny jeans
and rubber shoes. Fixed my things and get ready for school.
I went out from my room and go directly to the
refrigerator to see if Auntie left a note for me.
Mira,
I gave you incentives for your allowance, I want you to
persevere more for your future. Take care and just always
remember that I love you. I‟ll be going to your Aunt Isabel, I will
be back tomorrow. 
Auntie
I was touched through her words; she‟s also lifting me up
making my feelings lighter now. I grabbed my allowance she gave
and stepped out from our house, locked it.
6:30 AM when I got to school, this is it, this is really is it,
is it. This is my time to show how I will dwell with others
“Mira, are you ready?” Lorraine surprised me again and asked if
I‟m ready to show off. Well, I think I can but there‟s a part of me
that it‟s not the right time.
I just dozed my head even there‟s a little hesitation inside
me coz I know this will be a great step for me towards my ultimate
transformation.
“Let‟s go!” Lorraine and I went inside together and as
usual we caught the attention of our room. We sat on our desks,
while Lorraine is still looking for something or someone??
“Mira! I have your first customer!” Lorraine sits back and
whispers on me.
I asked her who, in a lip sync way. She points to Emi, our
class president, she looks tired and lonely.
Lorraine asked me to approach her, without any
hesitations, I draw near to Emi.
“Emi?” I diffidently call her attention but she just look at me
smiling unpleasantly.
“Do you have any problem?” I asked her now I can feel the
bursting confidence inside me.
Lorraine‟s lesson yesterday are true, at first it‟s kinda
difficult to come off with someone but when you know you‟re safe
and sound with him/her, confidence will burst inside your
wholeness.
Emi put her head up and looks like she‟s starting to have a
conversation with me.
“What‟s the matter, Emi?” I asked her.
“Mira? Is it really you?” she asked doubtfully and looks at me from
head to foot, examining me carefully.
“Yes? Ahaha” I replied.
“You‟ve changed a lot!” she said in awe
“Yeah, I just want to recover from all things”
“Recover from what?
“I don‟t want to disclose myself first, maybe after I have fully
recover, I‟ll tell you but for now, I want to know your problem” I
said to her.
“Family problem!” she said timidly.
“I feel you!” I replied
“The feeling of being hated by everyone because of your family,
for me was the biggest and meanest words you would ever hear.
Having a bad ties with your family is like a brain with no stock
knowledge at all for some people, and I„m feeling it right now,
Mira, it really hurts”
She cried on my shoulder and comfort her since I can
sense that she had a hard time with her family.
I comfort her for a while before I could advise her; I
should make her feelings lighter first.
While comforting Emi, Lorraine is looking at me and smiles
for an achievement that I made.
After Emi cried I advise her to stay strong for her family, if
she will not, then the problem will go worst. Let them feel sought,
loved and forgiven.
Just like what I always say to souls that I may encounter,
“Just forgive; forgiveness is the only way Emi. You cannot get
what you want, if you did not do so. She thanked me and then I
leave her glowing back again.
“You did great!” Lorraine clapped her hands after what I have done
to Emi.
“Your teachings are true, I feel the confidence tho.”
“Keep up the good work, well this is your first time, many things
will come upon you as you walk through recovery.”
Lorraine also feels amazed at me because this is my first
time, and I made my first customer cry.
She said that when someone cries on you, it only says
that she can put her trust on you, she can consider you as a friend
to lean on, and a person she can disclosed with.
Our class ended and I have talked with my five classmates
so far, and all of them are happy to see me converting to a
thoughtful one.
Lorraine and I are walking along the hallway, when Kim,
Ailyra and Zhantal , the mean girls blocked our way.
“Stop it right there!” Kim said to us.
“We‟re going home” I calmly said to them
“Oh look!! Who‟s talking now?” Ailyra moves in front of me boldly
“You‟re changing now little girl!!” she flapped my head like a baby
“and now you are now the dumbest of all dumbs” Zhantal
commented.
“Hey, Zhanty stop it!” Lorraine shouted.
“Don‟t you ever try to call me that way!” Zhantal told Lorraine.
“Zhanty!!” Lorraine still says it making Zhantal more irritated.
“Zhanty!!!”Lorraine continued, until Zhantal is so irritated, irritated
to the point she‟s tweaking her own hair like a fool.
Lorraine and I ruptured into laughter seeing her like that
while the two were just looking at us mouth open.
“Ailyra, Kim!” I call their names; they looked at me with their
eyebrows up still have their mouths open
“Close your mouths, or else flies will never hesitate to enter
there!” and then Lorraine and I laugh again,
“Besides, it‟s also stinky!!” Lorraine added, we give five to each
other, laugh while leaving them embarrassed.
“We win over them!” Lorraine said.
“Yeah, and we won‟t let them take us down again”
“Peers for that!” Lorraine said.
“huh?”
“I said, peers for that!!”
“Isn‟t it cheers for that?”
“Just go with me, Peers with me!” she said crazily
“Okay, peers for that!”
CHAPTER 16: HOPE
________________________________
After all things that happened, my hope for the future
brings back, thanks to Lorraine without her, I could never been
her, without her my life will be totally ruined now.
Thanks to her, Aunt and I became close again, we had our
first serious talk about my faith and my hope for the future. I am
now reconciling as what I promised to myself and I will never be
hopeless anymore.
I started to accept all things within from who aI am and
what I am, I started to dwell with others although I‟ve just talk
only five of my classmates this morning.
But the thing is, I‟m really recovering from my past.
And it does not mean that I forgot my missing for my
parents, although I‟m now getting better, I still missed them but I
never cry anymore, my gift?
That‟s the thing, when I transform into a new me, my gift
did not work, I can‟t see souls neither souls approaching me or is it
just me who did not noticing them.
Well I don‟t want to problem them first; I have to find
myself first.
I put my phone on play a music to entertain myself, and
then suddenly it fits me who am I right now and what am I
experiencing right now.
All of the songs I‟ve ever heard, this is now my favourite
song of my life.
All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here suddenly I see
Standing here it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be
Just like Rapunzel, I was trapped too but not by my
mother or Auntie but I was trapped by the past,.
I was trapped inside the pains of the past, I let myself be
imprisoned and get mad to all the things that for me is their fault.
And now, I‟m suddenly here, had my contacts on, cut off
my hair bangs and dressed it was like it was never me.
And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you
My Flynn is my hope, I‟m not thinking of romance first,
just studies. Remember that I promised my parents that I will
persevere for them, for my future and for their legacy.
I just remembered that when I was not this before, I
always wished that I could turn back time, that I could spent a
lifetime with my parents or if God forbid that, I want to kill myself
too and be with them.
I am always chasing daydreams and night dreams when I
always dreamt of them.
All those days chasing down a daydream
All those years living in a blur
All that time never truly seeing
Things, the way they were
Now she's here shining in the starlight
Now she's here suddenly I know
If she's here it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go
I hope that Dad is singing me this now, the part where
Flynn sings the part for Rapunzel.
I want him to witness me now, how I changed how I grew
because all these time, he‟s waiting for me to grow up and have
my own successful job. I want him to be with me together with
Mom, even just for only a while.
If Lord can do it, but I still have to move mountains
before I could.
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
At this point of lyrics, a lantern floats very low and near
the boat and Rapunzel gently guides it up back up to the sky.
That appears that lantern is her parents she‟d been
missing off but she back it up and released it on. She easily
accepted the fact that she will never find them, how I wish I was
like her not a hopeless but who is willing to accept all the things.
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything is different
Now that I see you
Now that I see you
Then the song ends with beautiful lyrics, now that I see
you. I lose hope back then but now I see it again, like Rapunzel, I
lose hope but when she saw Flynn, her perception of the world
began to shift.
When I saw everything in me, my perception of the to shift
world began too. Hope brings back to me.
My perception of hope began also the shift like my
perception of this world. We use the word hope commonly but we
can‟t define it very clearly.
When we people hope on something, we are just simply
whishing for it to happen and never equate with good
responsibility.
Think of woman who has been diagnosed with cancer, her
husband died and her children have moved away.
She has no one to care for her so she hopes everyday that
she will become better, and by doing that it can give her peace of
mind and relieve the stress.
It can let her see a positive outlook in her life, which leads
her to eating the right foods, taking her medicine, and exercising
more.
To her hope is the small spark inthe dark. Hope is driving
her to do things and get the best end results on her life.
She plans for the worst, but hopes for the best.
Everyone is like that woman, we suffer, we will despair, we
will cry and we will be sought and feel sorrow, its inevitable. But
the good thing is, there is hope. And it means that life doesn‟t
have to be all gloom and doom.
Every moment we live is by chance to turn things around,
change your perspective, find your focus, achieve your goals and
continue on our mission, all we need is hope.
Even if all things seem lost, as long as you have hope,
things might just change for the better.
I feel so free and it‟s like a fantasy,
It is a sense of wanting something to happen and
expecting it to happen in the presence of uncertainty and
hesitation.
Hope possesses many qualities and can range from
something minor to long-lasting crave for something big and
important. In literal sense, hope is the belief in vague rules
according to which things take place in the world
In other words, hope the faith in miraculous and surprising
events, which although may not happen are expected to happen
by people with hope.
According to what I‟ve seen on the internet, in the ancient
Greece, according to various Greek myths, hope was the only spirit
that was left after Pandora opened Pandora‟s Box.
According to the myth, all the misfortunes and grievances
would escape the box and become a part of human life. Hope was
the only thing present in the box and guaranteed that in all cases
humans have the hope regardless of the difficulty or the situation.
In mythological sense, hope is what keeps people going
under harsh conditions and crucibles.
It also says that hope underlies religion. For example for
Christians, the one where I should belong believes that hope is one
of the most important virtues of men.
Hope is an abstract thing that means expectation and
belief in something over which one has little or no control at all.
Hope is the reserve engine that keeps people moving
during the time when something is craved yet its availability and
outcome is uncertain.
Hope is what sometimes simplifies people‟s thinking tells
them what to expect from the future.
It can let her see a positive outlook in her life, which leads
her to eating the right foods, taking her medicine, and exercising
more.
To her hope is the small spark in the dark. Hope is driving
her to do things and get the best end results on her life. She plans
for the worst, but hopes for the best.
Everyone is like that woman, we suffer, we will despair, we
will cry and we will be sought and feel sorrow, its inevitable.
But the good thing is, there is hope. And it means that life doesn‟t
have to be all gloom and doom.
Every moment we live is by chance to turn things around, change
your perspective, find your focus, achieve your goals and continue
on our mission, all we need is hope.
Even if all things seem lost, as long as you have hope,
things might just change for the better.
I feel so free and it‟s like a fantasy,
It is a sense of wanting something to happen and
expecting it to happen in the presence of uncertainty and
hesitation.
Hope possesses many qualities and can range from
something minor to long-lasting crave for something big and
important. In literal sense, hope is the belief in vague rules
according to which things take place in the world.
In other words, hope the faith in miraculous and surprising
events, which although may not happen are expected to happen
by people with hope.
CHAPTER 17: THIRD EYE
________________________________
It‟s evening now and I can‟t still sleep; I don‟t know what
the reason is behind. Am I played again by souls?
Wait what had just happened to my special gift? Since
when I walked in recovery, I never saw any souls any more.
I want to open it again coz I miss helping souls to be on
the light, to see Advocates, Guardians and other beings that I
have never seen.
But this sense is involuntary; it just opens whenever it can
detect a soul.
And I the souls are the one‟s controlling it.
So I surf the internet and find an article that deals with
this special sense. And technically, it‟s a third eye, the one
Buddhist taught on earth.
It says that it is the human ability to see what might be, to
see potential.
It also says that all humans have the access to their third
eye.
For example, when you have a hunch and act on it, you‟ve
worked with your third eye and can be more refined and can be
developed.
The article follows: personaltao.com
The Third Eye is a natural part of every person. One way
to think of it is as a “meta” organ that consists of your mind and
all of your senses working together as a larger, more powerful
sensory organ.
The Third Eye is a very clever bit of natural evolution that
allows you to see the patterns in your life. Even more amazing,
your third eye can reveal these patterns to you by overlaying this
information on top of your other senses.
As a sense, your third eye can be used in many different
ways. Seers use their third eye to understand hidden connections
and answer questions.
Energy workers „feel‟ the energies around them and to
then consciously manipulate that energy. And every time you have
empathy, you are using your third eye to touch and feel the
emotions of others.
Many other examples exist for how people use the Third
Eye.
Seeing with the Third Eye
To understand how the third eye works, let‟s look at how it
is possible to use the Third Eye to sense and visually interpret
energy around us. It‟s possible to see Motion (for example a car
moving), Activity (you driving the car) and Exchange of Energy
(burning the gas). Add in our capacity of sensing & projecting
potential (being able to predict where the car goes based on the
roads and knowing the driver), in other words seeing where
energy, motion and activities will flow to over time.
Add all this together into an internal visual map and you
have just expanded how you see Energy playing out (the results of
using the car/gasoline/intention to drive you up the hill).
By seeing energy as mental overlay rather than just an
abstract concept, it becomes a tangible property of life that we can
learn how to sense and interact with in a deeper manner.
Is it possible to really „see‟ energy? Not directly. While our
eyes can see the end results of energy in action, seeing energy
directly is another thing all together.
Our eyes only „see‟ what they are designed to see, light.
What our third eye does is process information and then
overlay that information over our other senses in such a waylong?
we can then interpret and interact with energy in a more precise
manner.
In this way, we can understand where the energy is and
we can „see‟ it.
This makes sense, if you think about it. The mind has
figured something out and wants to tell us. The easiest way for it
to do this is to use what it already has access to: our five normal
senses.
This can appear as a mystical power being able to “see” or
“predict” processes, events, potentials which are not physically
present.
But it‟s a very real and tangible skill.
Because so much depends on your ability to interpret
results, there is a lot of room for mistranslation between the
“facts” and what your third eye returns to you.
Also, because each of us sees things differently, it can be
problematic to share what we see with others. For example, when
we hear the word „cup‟, each of us may visualize a completely
different cup. What one person will sense is different from another.
Of course, commonalities exist. We are human and our
form, our nature help push us towards common baselines of
experience.
However, the unique nature of each person also ensures
that each of us sees the world from a different angle.
It shouldn‟t be surprising, then, that there are so many
different mystical practices to explore all the different perceptions
of the world we hold.
Too long? But I really read it in whole. I just to know every part
and mystery behind it.
I searched for an article about opening the third eye and
my ability to talk with spirits
Then I found myself reading on the article Talking with Spirits at
www.shamanlinks.net where it says:
This particular article will focus on individuals who are
interested in making relationships with the spirits, and may be
informative for those who are interested in how the shamanic
practitioner – spirit relationship can work.
What follows applies to all of the following: people who are
interested in learning how to channel, people who plan on
attempting to journey on their own, individuals who have
encountered or wish to encounter spirits (nature, fairy, people,
animals, ancestors, holy figures, angels… etc) they would like to
get to know better through conversations or other means.
Ultimately, spirit communication is about the transfer of
energy. Information is energy. Healing is energy. Through their
presence the guiding spirits are trying to aid this world in our
efforts to evolve, and be healed of past wounds.
They are offering a helping hand. All living things have a
spirit, wisdom, and something worth while to communicate. The
energy of the spirit can fuel change.
The shamanic practitioner is attempting to make a link from the
spirit world into this world.
By being well grounded or connected to the earth, by
being in their body, and by being HERE – they can become a
conduit for that energy to enter and aid the world HERE.
It may be to help one‟s self only, or a small group, a
society, or even the whole world.
If you are not living here, if you spend most of your time
with your personal energy being “somewhere else” – you can‟t be
a bridge. You cannot be a bridge to a place you are not in
. That is why shamanism is not about getting away from it
all, not without bringing it all back again.
I tried to look for an article who have experienced this and
I found the testimony of Carissa Luce at www. Stevehuffphoto.com
I‟m new to this, as I‟m only 17 and i think I‟ve been
experiencing ghosts for about three years now. They, as it‟s a
large group of them I think, hang around my house and follow me
to school. Currently, I‟m feeling a chill around me and most of the
time i feel warmer touches……idk if they‟re kind ones or not but I‟m
concerned a bit.
I hate to sound too teenage-ish, but I think sometimes i
get touched in my certain areas and if don‟t think its just me when
I‟m sitting alone in my room……it‟s happened a bunch of times
before and the warmer touches are sometimes when i climb into
bed….i feel one of them there and I kinda like the cuddling aspect
as I‟m quite lonely and enjoy the company……but the cooler ones
are sometimes too touchy feely…..
Some warmer touches are like that too…..I‟m unsure what
to do as they‟re not unwelcome in my house and room, but id like
the touching to tone down…….also i had this experience where I
woke up in the middle of the night, about half asleep, and i rose
my head up a bit, but it got slammed down quickly and i heard a
little girls voice. I‟ve also had a lucid dream where i saw my
bedroom from where i lie in my bed, but i wasn‟t awake.
This happened about twice. I see shadows everywhere,
black and white ones, and sometimes i don‟t see them at all. But i
feel they‟re there. Also, it may sound COMPLETELY crazy, but i
hear voices that aren‟t my own in my head and sometimes that
speak through me. Yet, its not like its a possession, but its more
like a sharing of the body for a short minute.
The group that isn‟t the cool or warmer ones are slightly
warm but can be cool too, they have been around for the three
years also, but they took on the names of some scary story
characters called Creepy pasta.
They took on the names and slight persona of them, and
its pretty interesting to say the least….but i don‟t know if these
scary story impersonators are real or all in my head.I know its a
lot to take in, but its what i experience every day.
I was a little bit scared about the experience of the
blogger, I feel her too.
After all my time researching and surfing, I now feel
drowsy and I‟m about to sleep. Upon reading my research, it says
that when a down people started to lift up again, his/her special
sense will vanish.
It‟s because that, the purpose of the third eye is to bring
em up. But the one with the sixth sense can see only one soul,
they will become close and at the end when the one with the sense
died,
the soul he/she have met will be his/her Guardian way
back to the Enlightenment (in Buddhism, Heaven in Christianity)
CHAPTER 18: THIRD STEP
________________________________
Monday
I went to school early in the morning, because Lorraine
said. She said that we will be having our third step today; I
wonder what is it this time?
Lorraine is full of knowledge when talking of
transformation, coz she has done that for all her life. And now,
she‟s helping me to be like her sooner.
Lorraine did a great job to me, I already now know how to
dwell and fight to those who always stubs at me, I have rid off
mean girls in my own way and stabilize a good communication
with my classmates.
I am now totally actively participating inside our class, I
used my knowledge and used it to show my confidence inside.
Mr. Falkner along with the other professors are so much
impressed with me, my classmates, others were amazed, some
were envy and others were jealous to the point they want me to
get down again.
Our class has finished, I and Lorraine went again to the
mall, we went to a videoke stall and buy some tokens for it.
We went inside it and Lorraine asked me to play a song, a
song that connects how I‟m feeling right now.
1.....5.....6....9...8..0
The voice of the videoke voiced out the code of the song
that I picked.
Then the music played and I started to sing along well
together with the lyrics and rhythm.
I can live, I can love
I can reach the heavens above
I can right what is wrong
I can sing just any song
I can dance, I can fly
And touch the rainbow in the sky
I can be your good friend
I can love you until the end.
I‟m feeling the song right now, this is I am now because of
Lorraine‟s help I can now do the things that I cannot do before.
I can show myself to everyone confidently, I can be a good
friend, I can advise them and feel loved.
What took you so long to make me cry
So I‟ll know the reason why
I‟m so lucky I could smile
I didn‟t know this for a while.
This song for me is so meaningful, it is not literally means
that we can fly but it means that we can reach our aims.
Its dedication to life made this as one of my favourite songs, it‟s
getting me stronger.
What took you so long to make me see
How lucky I am cause I am free
Free to do the things I wanna do
What took yu so long to make me feel
I can give love, a love so real
What took you so long to let me know
Since I was young, this song is my favourite, I
remembered the time that my mother wants me to sing it for her
coz she said it‟s so cute for me.
This song made my heart melt, this song is also dedicated
to Lorraine, since this song symbolizes true friendship that no
matter who you are or what will happen to you, our friendship will
be still going stronger.
I can dance, I can flyt
And touch the rainbow in the sky
I can be your good friend
I can love you until the end.
The song ended and Lorraine cheered for me after finally
sing this piece.
“You had a voice, Mira!” Lorraine said.
“Of course, I‟m not mute I had a voice noh!” I replied sarcastically
“No kidding, but you have that charming voice”
“Thank you!”
“Now, this is our third step, to show off your hidden talents!”
Lorraine got me on that, the third step is to let out my talents that
I hid from everyone.
Not being proud but really I have talents, I could write a
song, sing and draw or illustrate, in fact when I was in elementary,
I always in the first prize on poster-making contest.
“Can you please sing another?” Lorraine requested.
1...3...5..8...7...3...0
The song started to beat on
Thank you for teaching me how to love
Showing me what the world means
What I‟ve been dreaming of
And now I know, there is nothing that I could not do, Thanks to
you
For teaching me how to feel
Showing me my emotions
Letting me know what real, from what is not
What I‟ve got more is more that I‟d ever hoped for
And a lot of what is hope for, Thanks to you.
No mountain, no valley
No time, no space
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can‟t stop me from believing
That my love will pull me through
Thanks to you
My most favourite song, thanks to you is giving back the
love that my parents had given to us. For appreciating the things
that they have done to me when I was still young, for the love,
care and understanding that they give to me, for the support, and
for making me strong everyday even though you‟re not here
anymore and for making me a good daughter.
You are really a great blessing to me! This is song is for
you.
For teaching me how to live
Putting things in perspective
Showing me how to give
And how to take
No mistake, we were put here together
And if I breakdown
Forgive me but its true
That I am aching with the love I feel inside
Thanks to you.
Another song has ended with the use of my voice. Lorraine
grabbed the microphone and started to pick her song too.
1...6..0..0..4...3..2
Then the song started to play in rhythm, I was surprised
when the music played, it was one of my most unbeloved song in
my life.
Would you know my name,
If I saw you in Heaven?
Would it be the same,
If I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
coz I know I don‟t belong here in Heaven.
Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton, made me reminisce again
my past from the time of the accident of my parents down through
the nights I‟m weeping of.
I don‟t really want to hear that song, I really hate it.
Without any hesistation,
Would it be the same,
If I saw you................
I pressed the stop button without telling it to Lorraine. She
was shocked to what I did, her expressions looks disappointed
caused by the discontinuation of her song.
“Hey!!” she said while holding her microphone
“I‟m sorry” I nod my head due to ashamedness
“What‟s wrong with you?” she lifts my head up and asked what
was wrong.
“Nothing, it‟s just I don‟t like the song!” I replied.
“Gotcha! You‟re not 50% recovering” she said while I looked at her
doubtfully.
“You‟re still affected with your past. I mean it to play the song that
you hate the most.” She said.
“Why?!”
“Because I want to test you, if you‟re totally recovering or not and
based on my observations your still not”
“It‟s hard for me, especially when I hear that song that was the
bitterest song for me, I don‟t want to hear it.
“I feel you, Mira! At least you‟re trying your best and you‟ve
changed physically and socially!” she said while smiling.
“Tomorrow, we will have our sing a song presentation in our
Psychology class, I want you to be the first one to volunteer,
Alright?”
I was shocked back when she say that, I really hate this
girl hahaha
“I‟ll try.”
“Don‟t try it, do it Mira for your recovery”
“Fine!”
Then we leave the karaoke room, we did not went home
first but played first to game stations. She also invited me to
dance on dance floor station, but I refused too, I had my both foot
left.
CHAPTER 19: TALENTED ME
________________________________
Day after our bonding at the mall, Lorraine and I went to
school together, she asked me if I' m ready to our Sing a Song
Presentation in Psychology.
I really hate her ideas, if only I could pull her hair, I will do that.
But she's my friend and I dont want to cause her pain.
Although it‟s too inimical to my will, I followed her pampering
We got into our room and sit on our desks. And then
suddenly, Mrs. Agatha entered our room. Now I‟m feeling these
nerves inside my body.
Curse you, Lorraine!!
“Okay! Let‟s start the presentation for Sing a Song, you should
sing here at the front. Your song must be a reflection of your own
self, first ten in front will get a flat one grade. Maam Agatha waited
for volunteers in front, even you would get a flat one if the
exchange is your reputation, and would you ever try to?
Maam Agatha is a frank one plus a super judgemental type
of professor, one mistake is such a big mistake for her. No
erasures and the worst is no Wrong grammar.
So now, no one wants to volunteer at the front because of
the fright that they may be commented by this ultimate terror
teacher.
I was just leaning on my desk when Lorraine raised her
hands and point me out; I looked at her and make my eyes big as
a sign of shock and ungratefulness
“Okay Ms. Salvador in front now!!" she shouted so I hurriedly
move to the front.
It‟s good that I had prepared myself for this. I sighed first
and then state the first verse in rhythms along with its melody.
You‟re probably wearing the clothes I bought you
You probably put on the cologne I bought you
And right now, you‟re probably meeting her and laughing
I will show you by Ailee, this song is far from my situation,
the girl is left by his boyfriend because he have found a rich ones
and more beautiful than her.
This song I‟m singing is dedicated to my mean girls, to
Kim, Zhantal and Ailyra who always try to put me down. I‟m
singing now in a form of an allegory.
Did you like her that much that you had to leave me?
How much more do I have to be better?
No matter how much I try to erase you
We spent so many days together
The past times are so regrettable that tears keep flowing but…
I will show you a completed changed me
I will show you a way prettier me
I don‟t wanna cry like a fool over love, over you who left
I will show them how I am going to fight with them, just like what
Lorraine said to them "be careful who you bully"
I neatly change my hairstyle and carefully apply my makeup
With my high heels and short skirt, everyone turns to look at me
Well this is me now I changed not just hairstyle, not my makeup‟s,
not my contact lenses
But the whole me, my spirit, my physical self and my emotional
self
I‟ve changed a lot in such a way that everyone will admire me and
forbid the things I used to before.
If I ever run into you, I will give a dazzling smile
Pass by your surprised face and click clack go on my way
I will show you a completed changed me
I will show you a way prettier me
I don‟t wanna cry like a fool over love, over you who left
I will throw away the ring you gave me
I will erase the letters you wrote me
Without lingering attachment, without regret, I‟ll forget you
I wanna forget you, I wanna erase you
I will show you a completed changed me
I will show you a way prettier me
I don‟t wanna cry like a fool over love, over you who left
And you gotta be aware.
I finished my song while their faces are not in a normal
way. Also Mrs. Agatha, she's not in her normal look too
What have I done?
And then I went to back my chair, their faces and looks followed
me in a weirdly way
What happened to them? If looks could be deceiving, maybe I m
dead now.
And then suddenly, Mrs. Agatha slowly clapped her hands
.
.
Followed by my seatmates and Lorraine
.
.
Then from low toned claps turn to a high pitch sound of ovation
The whole class cheered for me
And I look to Lorraine and she said thaf shes proud of me.
CHAPTER 20: LOVE
________________________________
The whole class started to talk and friend with me after
what all had happened. And I think, I am so much known now by my
classmates and no one ever wished to mean me again.
I was just sitting on my desk when I heard two of my
classmates murmuring and eavesdropping with each other and their
topic really hurts me
“Mira changed a lot!"
“Yeah and she's changing too proud of herself. She should not be
like that, it’s not good and pleasing to the eye"
“Maybe she’s just revenging"
“If she was, it’s not a big thing"
Have I already changed a lot?
Have I changed too proud?
Am I revenging?
Am I not pleasing to some eyes?
I started to realize this worth, yes I’ve changed and actually I
lost the true Mira. I walked out from our room and ran to the
garden and let out all my questions to my self
A million thoughts in my head
should I let my heart keep listening
'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing
I’ve change to the point they admire me, but what's
missing?
I try to dwell with them, talk with them and be with them,
but what's lacking? Should I go back to my old self and trash out this
brand new me?
Will I go back as a loner one but the true me or stay this self
and hide all the facts behind me?
I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go?
If only I knew what my heart was telling me
don’t know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only
If only
I recovered fully as for myself, but now it’s taking back again
by doubts. Why is it so unfair? I have now my faith, my hope, what's
missing
Mom and Dad, I’m not sure if they are happy or not. Happy
because I’ve changed to a new pose of Mira, not happy because for
the mean time I forgotten them.
Every step, every word,
With every hour I am falling in
To something new, something brave
To someone I, I have never been
I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go?
If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feelin
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only
Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen
Yeah Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?
If I have not put my contacts on, will it be the same? If I did
not cut off my bangs, will I look like the same?
And If did not push myself for recovery, will I gain faith and hope?
If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
If only..I could control these things
I want it to be perfect; I want it to be the same both old and
new. I want it to be the central focus of myself.
If only
If only
After my drama at the garden, I suddenly remember
Nathan. It’s been a long time since I don’t see him
Why Am I looking him? Why am I concerned for him?
His smiles!! Hey what’s happening inside my head? Nathan's
bothering me, and the worst is....................
“WHY AM I FALLING FOR HIM??”
Faith, Hope and Love
but the greatest of them is LOVE
- 1 Corinthians 13:3-6
CHAPTER 21: REVELATION I
________________________________
Right now, I'm inside of our room and I don't know why I
am searching for Nathan. Maybe he could pass by.
Whenever I see him, I feel mixed emotions. Nervousness
and joy, I've never felt it before with other people. I do have
friends but it's unlike than what I feel for Nathan.
Am I such too weird like what they said? or maybe I have
feelings for him?.
Wait...How? I can't tell what this affection is. Whatever it
would be, I‟ll make sure it will never take too long.
I mean, it would never come to a point that I already fallen
for him. I'm not yet ready to engage myself in such those things.
He's been a neophyte and for sure it's nothing.
Our class already started when I saw Nathan behind the
class door. He sent his grin and I smiled back.
He waved his hand and leave.
“ Mira! Are you okay? To whom are you smiling?” Lorraine asked
me
“Nothing Lets listen now to our professor” my reply.
While the prof is teaching, I‟m still thinking of Nathan. His
smiles....... wait its ridiculous.
Mira! Just focus on your class.
Break time. All of then left the room. I stayed inside with
my classmates who don't want to eat in the cafeteria.
I plugged my earphones and take a nap.
“Mira” a voice of a guy that is so familiar to me.
I don't even know who he was. It's blurred even in my
dream my eyes sees unclear. I don't know if I would take a step
near to him. It's so bright. Until, he was swallowed by it.
I was awakened when someone shaken my chair.
“Mira! Lorraine was. .. “ Emi ran off to me, our class president
“why? What happened to her?” I asked her like I was in danger.
“She's fighting with someone in the canteen” she said.
“what? Whom?” I was shocked.
“ Go with me.”
I was running, holding Emi‟s hand down to the canteen.
And there, everyone surrounds them.
It was Lorraine pulled by the hair with? Wait, a new girl?
I've never seen her before.
We immediately restrain them but they don't want to set
each other free.
Until, I force Lorraine to stop then she shouted.
“What Ally? You don't want to stop this? You've take everything in
me. What else do you want?”
“Chill Lorraine. It's only a table. If you don't want to share, it‟s
yours. I'll never pay for that spilled tea. Maybe it's good for you
not to take some leftovers because you don't even know how to
keep its importance.
Am I right Lorraine?” Ally said to Lorraine
“Just shut up Ally! If you want too, I‟ll tell everyone here, what
kind of person you are.” Lorraine replied to Ally.
“A FLIRT!FLIPPANT! I'm not like you; I don't share everything in
public.
You know what I mean.” Lorraine added.
“Huh? Shut up Lorraine! They won't believe you. Because all of
them are angry with you..HAHAHAHAHA” Ally.
Then the girl walked out.
“Lorraine, are you okay?” I ran off to her and asked if she‟s okay.
”Why are you here Mira?
You too Emi,you should not force me I'll take those hair of that
flirt girl.” Lorraine said angrily
”Wait,what happened? Why are you fighting? And who's that girl? “
I asked her again.
“You don't need to know to Mira, let's go upstairs”
We go upstairs. While walking, I bumped into Nathan; his
face was sealed by questions.
I want to relate him a story but I thought it is better to
keep in silence.
We are already in our classroom yet we still don't have a
prof.
Lorraine was quiet and I conquer her.
“Lorraine what was the real story about what happened awhile
ago. That girl was so mad with you why?” I asked her for the third
time.
“Mira! I don't need to explain” she said
“I thought we're friends?” I asked her sincerely
“tsss okay fine, She's Ally, a transferee”
“Then?”
“urgh I don't want to discuss this” she said in an irritated way
While I'm at the canteen, she grab my chair that
supposedly I'll be sitting. And when she offered it, she means to
spill my tea. It's irritating! That flirt!” Lorraine continued her story,
“That‟s it? And why are you're so mad with her?”
“Do you know each other before?” I added.
“Y-Yes! And why should I forget her? She's such a snake. She took
everything from me. She took the only person that I love the
most. She's the reason why I am mad” Lorraine storied.
“what?how?” my questions to her
“Okay I'll state it to you. Alfred Salazar is my suitor. He courted
me for 3 years back when we're both in high school.
He is my classmate, he likes me. Until this year last
summer everything had change. Our communication stopped.
Supposedly that would be the time that I need to confess that I
love him.
But how can I tell? We don't communicate each other
even a single "Hi" "Hello". I let it just for a week maybe he is only
resting. But days passed by I've waited for his first move. It's
painful to wait someone for nothing.
Until my best friend texted and stated that he heard about
Ally and Alfred is in a relationship. I feel broke but I tried to
confirm if it was true.
I dialled his number but I can't contact it. I find way to
communicate him. I asked and beg for his friends. At last they
gave Alfred's number. I dialled it but a soft voice answered me.
On line:
ME: hello? Alfred?
Girl: It's Ally, Alfred's girlfriend. Who is this?
I gradually ended our call. I cried! How could all this
things happen? He spilled the 3 years of our commitment. He
spilled everything we had.
I know to myself that I love him and I am willing to spend
my life with him. But all of a sudden it was gone. I had mistaken
him I don't appreciate him too much,it's a part of my test on him.
If he is willing
To wait or give up, but he made it! He is deserving of my
love. Until now I don't understand why our situation ended like
this. I'm mad with Ally.
Before, she knew it that I love Alfred. Ally is my best
friend she know all the efforts of Alfred. And it's a big question that
over many women out there, how come she did it to me? Mira
they are so unfair.” Lorraine is still continuing our story.
She cried and cried and I feel concern for her. It's like my
heart was breaking also.
I remember the pain of losing.
“Don't worry Lorraine. I won't leave you. Thanks for sharing your
story. Don't mind Ally and hopefully you can talk with Alfred
again.” My comfort
“and then, Ally was here . Does she mean to transfer here in
campus?”
“Don't mind them Lorraine.
What important is that you know who you will be trusting. Stop
crying Lorraine. Our prof is already here.” I said to her
She laughs and or class started. I sat on a back door,
suddenly someone pass by.
My heart beats fast. I know who he is. I don't turn my
head.
I calm down and act like I don't see him until the class was
ended and he also disappeared.
CHAPTER 22: REVELATION II
________________________________
We left the room; Lorraine decided to go in the comfort
room first. I waited for her at the front of our class door.
I get my books and read just a few. Till now, I‟m thinking
of Nathan. Although he's on our room during class time but until
now I'm still searching for him.
“Mira! What are you thinking of?” Lorraine snapped me out of
foulness
“Nothing Lorraine, Maybe I'm only tired.”
“oww lets eat. I‟ll treat you, Lets go, let‟s eat just to lessen our
problems.” her invitation.
While she's driving, I see different spills on the road. There
are lot of people died on that highway. They are so pathetic.
Sometimes there are children who were been abuses by
the people who kill them.
Until, we arrived on the restaurant. I was surprise. I saw
Nathan inside, he is on a front of a woman whose busy reading a
book, and who is she?
A date? While we enter on the Resto,he keeps his eyes in me. I
used to escape.
We ordered, while waiting, Lorraine started to share a
story, but I'm only staring to Nathan.
I feel blushed; my heart beats fast, like everyone could
hear it. I listen to the jolly story of Lorraine while looking on
Nathan's table. I noticed, Lorraine stopped sharing her stories, she
turned back.
I felt ashamed she could notice who am I looking with.
Lorraine's P.O.V
We're here in the Restaurant, I‟m with Mira.
I notice, she‟s always looking back, following a look with
someone on a road making her so weird.
While we are entering on the resto,I see her face blush.
She's looking for someone inside. As we sat, we ordered a meal. I
don't understand she's always like that.
Sometimes I caught her smiling alone. I don't know what
her problem is, she‟s thinking of something deeply!
Our order had arrived. Mira and I relate a story, but she
can't avoid looking on a table in front of us. After we eat, she
decided to go home because her Aunt was drunk again.
She needs to take time for reading a book because she
needs to return it on the library. I agreed because I already feel
zone out and tired.
I brought her on their house, she is a quiet person. She
doesn‟t talk too much. Despite, you could see how important you
are to her.
I can't imagine that the girl I hate could be the person I
lean for and be my friend for the most of the time.
When I got home, only our maids were there. I immediately go
to my room.
I took a bath and prepared for bed but suddenly my phone
vibrated. I rise from lying.
+962***
"Good evening, can we talk?"
A message from unknown.
I don't take time entertaining the message so as stranger.
So I didn't reply back.
I take a sleep and when I wake up, 125 unread messages.
Who sent this?
Wooaaah! Effort! I opened and.....
+962*** "hi"
"Hello"
"Yuhoo"
"Can we talk?"
"Please” and a lot. Wait... whose number is this? How
could he get my number? “
I take a bath and wear my uniform.
While I'm on my way to school, my phone rings
"+962*** calling" I answered it and....
Person on the phone:Hello?
When I heard that voice, I gradually break the car.
I won't forget that voice. The voice that I didn't hear for so long.
That voice that I am looking at night before I go to sleep. My tear
drops,
Me: hello? Who is this?
I already knew who he is so I controlled my teary voice
Person on the phone: Lorraine this is......Alfred. I know you don't
want to talk with me. But please... even now can we please... let
us talk.
Me: how dare you to asked for a request.could you please stop
this! Enough Alfred!
Alfred: Lorraine pleaseeee. It's for now can we? Please!
Me: on our meeting place. 7:30am sharp I will be there.
I ended the call and cried. All the pain return. The pain
that O felt when he left me.
I want to ask him if what the problem is. I love him so
much if he only knows but I don't given a chance to tell him. Is he
already tired of proving himself?
I'm on my way to our meeting place to the park near the
cemetery where I saw Mira and where my grandpa was buried. At,
Exactly 7:30 I was already there.
I saw him. My heart was breaking while I'm a step
forward to him; I want to run and hug him so tight but he is now
not mine. I did not own him.
I sat on a bench and wait him to sit beside me. He face me
and ask..
“How are you Lorraine?” Alfred asked.
“What do you think Alfred?” I replied in an immoral manner.
“I think you are okay and happy after all what happened between
us.”
“What happened Alfred?” I asked him like I was innocent.
“I'm sorry Lorraine if I eventually disappeared and don't let you
informed.” He‟s confession,
“You don't have to, is this what are we going to talk about? If it is,
I need to go.” I turned my back but
He grabbed my hand just to stay.
“Is that what you are now Lorraine? Despite, you don't care for
me. You don't even love me. You only use me!”
I take my hand and snapped him coz He doesn't know
how hurtful to hear those words from him.
I cried and parted my hand. I don't know what to do so I
sat down.
“You don't know Alfred. It‟s easy for you to tell that I don't love
you; you‟re not in my situation. You don‟t have the right to tell
that.
You don‟t know what I've experienced since you left me. I
believe that you will comeback even though I don't know why you
have disappeared. Until one day I woke up that you don't love me
anymore.
You hurt me so much you're so unfair Alfred! I don't have
given a chance to express how I love you that I like you and I
wanted to spend my lifetime with you.
You left me and let me construct the unplanned. You‟re so
unfair I thought you love me. In 3 years of courting me I don't
imagine that you could left me behind. I wish that you already left
me before and informed that you won't stay. You let me believe
that you won't leave me. You treated me like I am only the one.
What‟s the problem? What's wrong? Why my best friend Ally? Why
Alfred??” I cried into him.
“ Lorraine I'm sorry you don't know the reason behind.” He said
but it keeps on bashing me.
“Why can't you tell me the reason? You let me suffer”
“I left you because I want you to be secure and for that no one
would hurt you because I can't resist seeing you suffering from
pain.” He said angrily
Is that all? Well, that‟s just a simple reason, and there are no ways
of leaving me far behind.
“ What do you think what happened to me. Am I not carrying the
pain? What's about my security? It‟s bothering me.”
“ Because Ally accuses me. She threatened me that she will hurt
you if I not come with her. That time I don't know what to do
Lorraine. I‟m such a desperate, Lorraine. I don‟t know any way
that she won't hurt you but to obey her but I never left on your
side.
I'm always outside on your house. Guiding you, watching
you. I escape from Ally until in your school I followed you. So
painful Lorraine seeing you suffering because of me.
This is not what I want to happen between us. Because I
love you so much and nothing had change and it would never be. I
know I've been a coward. I fight for you but now I'm here strong
enough. I will never leave you again. Please stay I love you and
God knows it.” Alfred continued and storied.
“Every time that I don't see you my heart was piercing in
pain. I repent everything it's my entire fault. I‟m such a coward.
Lorraine just give me another chance to express again my feelings
to you.” He added.
But he left me crying.
“Alfred it is not that easy to forgive, it‟s hard to forgive you. I
don't know what I should do about what I've found. I sore from
the pain. It change a lot, Alfred since you left me. Alfred I'm sorry
but....”
I was about to finish my words when,
He hugs me and it's like he don't want to set me free;
that was the hurtful hug above all, I miss his hug.
I want to hug him back but my heart still carrying the
anger. I forced his hands but he was strong enough to stop me. I
felt so weak and I let him hugged me.
CHAPTER 23: IF ONLY
________________________________
MIRA’S P.O.V
I think that I was too early today; I don‟t know where
Lorraine is. I think she‟s not yet here in school. I went to the
waiting area of our school.
The people were so rare not like before. I read a book and
I don‟t mind them.
Little by little I‟m fallin
Deeper than the sea
Maybe you can swim with me
Swim away from the current
And if I drowned in your company
Will I lose myself in your stream
Find a way to rescue me Away
From the current
When I heard that song, there‟s only one person that I
remember, it‟s like there are butterflies inside my tummy. I can‟t
stop smiling when I remember him.
The beauty of his eyes and his pointed nose, his lips as red as
roses.
And his gratifying face that since like to stare every time.
I don‟t know why I feel like this? Am I falling inlove with
him? But ... It can‟t be. Maybe he can‟t stay for a long time or he
has a work. It was wrong.... very wrong!
I need to stop these feelings. For him we‟re not
compatible. It‟s like no direction.
I fixed my bag, stood up and while walking I bumped into
a guy.
“Ouched!” I uttered.
“I‟m sorry” he said
The people around us staring at me like they‟re
wondering.
“Nathan?””it‟s okay, I need to go first. Bye”
I ran fast until I‟ve reached the classroom. I sat down on
a chair then I saw Nathan also entering the room. I seat properly
and I didn‟t turn my head back to him.
Suddenly, someone sated besides me. I thought it was
Lorraine, but it‟s Nathan.
“Mira! Can we eat together? Like lunch?” he asked me
“Huh?” I replied
“I said, if we can eat together later like lunch time?” he repeated
“ Ahhh ohh okay” I answered
While he was saying anything, I‟m out of nowhere. His
tender eyes seem I was carried by his beautiful eyes.
I don‟t know but this is what I feel when he is around.
“okay”
“Thank you. Where‟s your friend?” he asked
“Who? Lorraine?” I don‟t know where she is. She‟s still not around.
I‟m still looking for her.” I replied
My classmates are staring at me. Maybe they are envy,
because I‟m talking with this handsome guy
“ I hope she will not arrive” he said
“Nothing, What did you say?” I asked
“I heard something, don‟t deny it” I told him
“it‟s better if Lorraine was not around, so that I could spend much
time with you” he stated
He left me and he went back to where he was seated.
Our prof already arrives. He left me and everything what he said
were glancing in my head. I felt blushed about what he has said.
All day, I‟m out of my mind.
It‟s already break time when Nathan asked me to go down.
Instead of going to the canteen he carried me in a vacant room.
“Nathan! Why did you brought me here?” I asked him
unrespectedly
“Actually, I already bought our food because, maybe canteen was
so crowd or noisy.So it‟s better for us to stay here.” he answered
“oh really? You‟re so kind thanks for the effort.”
“ okay,just sat there and enjoy the food.”
I sat and eat the food that he bought. But he didn‟t touch
the food nor eat it.
“Why don‟t you eat the food?” I ask him
“What? Nothing, I just wanted to stare at you while eating” he told
me
Seems like I was blushing again about what he said. I
can‟t take it then I smiled at him.
“You‟re such a joker Nathan. You know this food was so delicious
and it‟s better for you to take a little.”
“That‟s okay Mira.”
“Okay fine”
After we eat,we related a story. He‟s unique. He‟s
different.
Everytime he looks at me everything seems to stop. After
breaktime we go upstairs.
Where‟s Lorraine? It‟s wondering because she didn‟t attend
our class.
Suddenly,Nathan disappeared. And I don‟t know where he
goes. During our dismissal I saw Nathan hugging someone. I ran
towards the comfort room. Why I feel like my heart was crumpled,
when I saw them.
Mira! It can‟t be. I get out of the restroom and I
immediately go down and I saw Nathan, calling me.
“Mira!Lets go together”
“I can‟t, I need to go home bye”
I arrived at home. Aunt Sally was not around. I dress up
and I clean the house fist. Gradually, my phone vibrated. Lorraine
texted me. I opened it and read...
“Mira! I‟m on my way to your house.”-her text
“Okay take care Lorraine, I‟ll tell you something”- I replied
After 25 minutes she arrived home. She bought lot of food.
“Lorraine, what‟s the problem? Seems you bought a lot to eat.” I
asked her
“it‟s for you Mira” she uttered.
“thankyou Lorraine”
“Mira,”(she hold my hand and began to cry)
“what‟s the problem Lorraine? Why are you crying?”
“Mira, Alfred and I have met awhile ago at the park near the
cemetery. He confess everything to me. His reason why he
vanishes.
Mira it hurts. I want him to come back. But I can‟t still
forgive him;I still love him I don‟t want him to left in my life. I will
repent that.”
“In that case, you must tell him, forgive him if he deserves your
forgiveness.”
“Thankyou Mira! But I must talk to him first. But how?”
“Then, you must also ask for his forgiveness about what you‟ve
done to him. Be thankful because he still loves you.”
“Why Mira, you haven‟t felt inlove yet?”
“nothing instead of....”
“who? Tell me something,Mira”
“it‟s not important. Nevermind”
“Tell me, Mira who‟s the guy?” Lorraine naughtily asked me.
“I don‟t know Lorraine, but I thinkthere‟s no I fall for him, I miss
his smiles; I miss every part of him.” I confessed.
“Who is he? For once, I don‟t see you with a guy?”
“Nathan is his name! He‟s new here in our campus, sometimes
he‟s inside our room!”
“What are you saying, Mira? There‟s no someone who is new here
and that is inside our room, if ever he‟s with us, everybody knows
him. But there‟s no Nathan inside our room?”
I was shocked, how can she don‟t met Nathan?
CHAPTER 24: SOUL?
________________________________
Lorraine got home and I was thinking about what she said,
that she haven‟t saw Nathan.
I went to sleep and when I woke up, it‟s already 7:30 AM,
I‟m already late; I took a bath quickly, wear my uniform and eat
my breakfast.
It was at 8:00 AM when I entered the gate, and then
someone grabbed my hand and carried me towards the vacant
room. It was Nathan, who‟s pulling at me
“Hey!! Nathan!! What‟s going on”
“Nothing” So I get out from that vacant room leaving Nathan
inside.
NATHAN’S P.O.V
There are only few days left and I have to tell Mira about
my real identity. When I saw her entering the gate, I pulled her
out but she ran off, she‟s the only one and no one else that I must
use for my plan.
Suddenly I will disappear and popped out like a bubble, I
can teleport to other places, it‟s not a magical thing, and I‟m no
longer a human because I am a soul. How?
I am Nathan Paul Imperial, I died because of a plane crash
accident three years ago. I was about to flight to Austria to look
for a job but it was unlucky. My parents, friends and my girlfriend
don‟t know it yet, and so I try to have a close ties with Mira since
she has a third eye, a gift where she can see spiritual and
immortal beings like me. I used her as a plan for my revelation.
We haven‟t talk for many times because she‟s quite busy
recovering herself, and then lately, I found her again at the library.
“Mira, can we talk, I have something to tell you!” I quickly
approached her
“I have many things to do” she‟s not fetchy, It‟s so hard to get her
trust
LORRAINE’ S P.O.V
Nathan followed me again at the library, but I refused to
go with him. But he‟s stronger than mine, he hold my hand but I
pushed him and I went at the back of the school.
“Stop this, Nathan, they‟re all staring at us!” I scold him
“You‟re the only one who could see me?” he said
“What?” I asked in doubt.
“Don‟t you still get it?”
“You know what Nathan, I need to go” I turned my back on him
but he continued talking
“Mira, I need to.....”
“I need to keep a distance from you, Nathan, please!” my pitiful
advise to him, I want to move on from having feelings for him.
“Why?” he asked
“Coz, I want to stop this feeling for you, I have fallen for you
Nathan and I love you, but I don‟t want to confess all these things
to you because I know that you will also leave me, so please, just
let me go!” my confessions to him.
“Sorry Mira but, you don‟t need to love me because I‟m already
dead, Im a soul and since you have the gift, you can see me just
as how you see humans!”
I was shocked, he‟s a soul, that‟s why Lorraine don‟t know
him and no one in the room approaches him, but I‟m still doubting,
how can it be, I have my own studies of souls and he don‟t have
any characteristics on the four classifications.
“What are you talking, are you crazy Nathan?”
“Mira, it‟s true look at me!”
I hold him and his body turns into a spiritual being. I was
surprised
“Mira, I disguise as a human because my mission here is not yet
finished so I came here to come to you and be my instrument for
my plan.”
All this time you let me believe that you‟re real and that someone
could love me, could take care of me and worried of me. But all of
a sudden, I was just a part of your plan.
Nathan: Im sorry Mira but I have to do this.Don't love me because
I don't deserve your love.I have a girlfriend she is Margaux
Sebastian my fiancee.Until now she didn't know that I'm already
dead.She knows that Im in Austria and Im working there.So Mira
I'm begging you please tell to my parents and to my fiancee what
happened to me.Please Mira youre my only hope.This is for the
silence of my soul.This is my last wish to you.
Mira: I can't accept this ! How did you do this to me ? Why is this
happening to me it is Unfair,really UNFAIR nathan.Seems you
started it all then I'll be the one to end this.
CHAPTER 25: MISSION
________________________________
Margaux POV
A cold evening. I don't know how so could it was. I‟m
doing the report for our business meeting tomorrow. But I'm only
staring at the picture of me and Nathan. I miss him so much and
hopefully time will pass and he will marry me. It‟s already 8pm. I
need to go on their house.
I'm on my way to their home. As I descended on my car, a strong
wind bumped. I enter their house and I saw the food was set on a
table.
Margaux: good evening tita
Nathan's mom: oh Margaux you're here oh come on let‟s eat
Margaux: tita I miss Nathan, there's any news about him
Nathan's mom: I already miss my youngest
The door bells when we were eating.
Nathan's mom: Manang,please open the gate thank you
“Mam someone is looking for you?” Manang said to Tita
Nathan's mom: okay
And then, the one whose looking for tita, entered the house
Nathan's mom: yes what do you want?
Mira: Good evening Mam. I'm Almira Faith Salvador. I'm here
because I have something to tell you
Nathan's mom: what is it Almira?
Mira turned back like she was talking with someone
Mira: that Nathan..
Nathan's mom: what about Nathan?
Mira: that... He is already dead
Nathan's mom and Margaux: What?
Nathan's mom: What are you talking about Mira? My son is not
dead he's in Austria.
Mira: but no mam, he died in a plane crushed.
Nathan's mom: No! Youre a liar get out of my sight !
Mira: Please Mrs. Imperial believe me
Plingggggg! A picture frame fallen
Margaux : tita come here.
Nathan's mom: No ! No! My son is alive. You young lady tell me,
tell me the truth!
Mira: Im saying the truth Mrs.Imperial.
Margaux: Then how did you know that Nathan's died in a plane
crush
Mira: Nathan told me. I can see dead people or Souls. Nathan
pretended to be my friend without knowing that he is already
dead. Until one day he chronicled to me everything. Nathan told
me to go here and tell you what happened. He will never come
back again Margaux. Actually, he's with me but you can't see him.
At 3am in the morning he will disappear and no one can see him
again
Margaux: Can you tell Nathan to hug me for the Last time? I miss
you Nathan,I thought you‟re okay.(margaux outburst) I can't
accept this! I can't believe that everything will be destroyed.what
happened to you baby ? I love you so much I will miss you I hope
we will see each other again Would you know my name? If I saw
you in heaven?
EPILOGUE
________________________________
Would you know my name,
if I saw you know in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
In our life, we need to be courageous because we cannot
know if how things will work. Some things are pre-destined; some
are just snap moments and immediate situations. Life is a
challenging game given to us by God and it‟s on our own strategy
how to deal with all the challenges.
I am Almira Faith Sebastian, a doctor of two professions; a
doctor of human and doctor of souls. I am a physical doctor and at
the same time a paranormal doctor. Years passed, when the most
thrilling part of my life took place.
I am a woman of unworthy back then, all things that
happened to me made it, I was born as a left out, all people who I
love the most left me, I was left alone and they left me in a poor
stable.
My parents died because of a plane crash accident
together with Nathan. My best friend Lorraine, who used to
recover me, also left me after a storm passed by our country, Aunt
Sally died because of liver cancer and lastly Nathan, my first love
with a soul. I never thought that he‟s just a soul after falling me to
him, but I was just his plan for his mission.
I was just a part of his plan, plan to tell his family his
death and a plan to fall me and make him believe.
All these things changed my life, I started to be a
worthless, to a woman of worth back to worthless and go up to a
profound, worthiest and luckiest woman.
These things helped me to prove myself that all things are
planned according God‟s will, and that we should follow it thru
FAITH, HOPE and LOVE.
All happiness are barren first with sorrows and all things
here on earth came from things that we can‟t see, these things are
TEARS FROM HEAVEN.
-END-
Tears from Heaven

Tears from Heaven

  • 2.
    ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ________________________________ We would liketo offer our gratitude, mostly to Almighty God, our Lord. For giving us the ample time, enough knowledge and healthy immunity that helped and made a big role on us. Without him, we can‟t sustain every chapters of our story and wouldn‟t be intact. Second, to our professor, for her hard work and for being an inspiration for us. For her who gave stately ideas, through her guidance, this story will not be achieved and our little skills in writing will not be shown. Third, to our parents. We sent them our serene Thank You, for supporting us financially. And lastly, for our group mates and for ourselves, we built our unity and perseverance to achieve our main goal and who have been dedicated and willing to fulfil the story. This story helped us to know more of ourselves and let out our talents on imagining things and writing a story plot. The Authors DEDICATION ________________________________ The novel “Tears from Heaven” is dedicated for selfless people, who are willing to sacrifice self satisfaction than seeing significant people suffering. For those who are in state of suffering, for people who are totally down after the lost oh his/her loved ones. For those persons, who want to recover and renew their selves after struggles. This fictional story engages and set to know that everyone ,no matter who you are, are falling in love not just with who we see, but also with who are invisible to our naked eyes, that our world is not just a physical world but also a realm of spirituality. It doesn‟t only talk about romance just like a typical teen fiction but also letting the readers to know more about life, to witness faith and fate and to let people understand the circle of life, our ups and downs and how to deal with them. We dedicate this story for all the people who are seeking hope and granting to love them back, recover from pain and transform ourselves through the work of faith, hope and love.
  • 3.
    TABLE OF CONTENTS ________________________________ Acknowledgement..................................................I Dedication............................................................II Tableof Contents.................................................III Prologue.............................................................IV Chapter 1: Reminiscing..........................................1 Chapter 2: Sick Advices..........................................4 Chapter 3: Stranged.............................................10 Chapter 4: Gift?...................................................15 Chapter 5: Stranged Again....................................18 Chapter 6: Margaux.............................................22 Chapter 7: Stalker...............................................27 Chapter 8: Friended.............................................38 Chapter 9: Nathan the Weird.................................45 Chapter 10: Aunt Sally.........................................50 Chapter 11: First Step..........................................59 Chapter 12: Pristine.............................................66 Chapter 13: FAITH...............................................76 Chapter 14: Second Step......................................80
  • 4.
    CHAPTER 1: REMINISCING ________________________________ Monday Acomfortable, large and spacious place, I am in my favourite resto, my family‟s favourite resto. Memories of yesterday were glancing inside my head, recalling the past makes me grin for a while. I ordered a frappe and a mini hot cake; this was Mom‟s, Dad‟s and my favourite breakfast here. I sat on a table near to the facade of a family, who were happily eating their meal. Traced on their faces how glad they are. While chewing a slice of cake, I did not realize that tears were falling out from my eyes down to the table, I wipe it. But things become much heavier, when music was played all over the place. Would you know my name, If I saw you in Heaven? Would it be the same, If I saw you in Heaven? I must be strong and carry on coz I know I don‟t belong here in Heaven. Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton, made me reminisce the past and bring it back to me through tears. I don‟t know how I should respond to this gloomed life. I questioned God several times to the point that I am losing my faith in him, I don‟t believe him anymore, I asked him why is it happening in my life, why do I have to be the most unfortunate of all the unfortunates. Why should I bear and suffer these fate, I know this is not my destiny, even if it‟s really for me, I won‟t accept it till the last breath of my body. It is God, who is the ultimate reason for this and I‟d never put my trust to him again. Would you hold my hand If I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand If I saw you in heaven? I‟ll find my way, through night and day Coz I know I just can‟t stay Here in heaven. I promised my parents that I‟ll be the one who will hear every wound and every pain they will perceive. But that is now a snatched expectation. Time can bring you down Time can bend your knees Time can break your heart Have you begging please, begging please Behind the door. There‟s peace, I‟m, and I know there‟ll be no Tears in Heaven. If only I could go to heaven, I would take them back here on earth and do all the works of joy that we used to have. Just a final step with them, will please me, I know God would prohibit it and if does, he don‟t do it usually. But I‟m dying because of all these heartaches. It‟s like that someone stole your important aid and will never be back to you again but the scene still remained together with the person who stole it. I sighed deeply and focus back on my meal.
  • 5.
    My class hasnot yet started, so I used to visit and have a meal here. I used to have this little engagement alone, no one‟s besides me instead of my books. I can‟t share my life with others since I don‟t have anyone who will consistently and will never leave me behind. I don‟t have somebody to lean on, I never and will never trust anyone, I‟d become an introvert after all these times. I can‟t find a genuine friend perhaps when somebody reviews me, they will leave sick advices and I don‟t want somebody to intricate my view. One thing for them, being the studious is a big deal. How come they don‟t find how significant education is? Maybe I‟m fortunate because I have granted a scholarship opportunity and I don‟t want to disposed that only thing, I know in the end, I can treasured of. There‟s nothing left to me just me, myself and I, nothing more. I look to my watch and it‟s time to prepare for school. CHAPTER 2: SICK ADVICES ________________________________ After all what I‟ve done at the resto, I move towards my school. It was just a normal day, normal to prepare for school, normal to go there alone and no one wants to have friendly conversations with me. “Good morning!” perhaps only school guards are greeting me here I am not talkative or friendly and I don‟t even know how to smile. No one can appreciate me, I used to impress them but I‟m always fallen behind. I keep myself occupied through studies, nothing more. No flirt, no romance, no make-ups, don‟t have any extracurricular or clubs. Just studies. They call me nerd, weird, mega mind, alien, as I have said it‟s a big deal for them for being a studious. I was just sitting on my desk at the front when somebody sits beside me. “Hi Lorraine!” she greeted. She‟s Lorraine, one of the famous girls inside our campus; she had that elegant, charm beauty, kind, humble and friendly personality that every guy wished to have. But she does not want to enter a relationship again after her first heartbreak with her first love. “Hello” my thrifty reply. “Lorraine!” she introduced. “Yah, I know you, you don‟t have to introduce yourself” I replied without staring at her. “Really? Ughh, I thought you don‟t even know me, since you‟re just sticking your whole body in this chair and have your own world!” she said to me in a sarcastic way. I know where this conversation will go; they will take bad shots, give hard advices and treat me like the deepest person on
  • 6.
    earth or aone less lonely woman. So I‟d rather keep myself silent and tune out those sick advices. “You know what girl?! Why don‟t you try to be with us, to be with others? Get out from your own world, go back to earth and enjoy all things here! Hang out with guys, prioritize your self-enjoyment, put out these weirdly notes and spare time with the society.” And the last thing that she said is the most deafening phrase for me. “Besides, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!” This phrase makes me irritated especially to those who says it every time. So I stand up and replied. “Stop it! I‟m sick of those words, you don‟t have any difference from every people.” “Because it‟s true, Mira, those words are true!! That‟s what we see from you and we tend to help you to get out of your shell” she shouted that everyone in our room catches our attention. “I have my own way Lorraine; you don‟t have to care for me.” she replied in a cold manner, I grab my bag and gave her my final words. “Yes, You Only Live Once, we only live once, but the thing is, we also die once, and You Only Die Once. What if I say you‟re gonna die tomorrow morning, can you set right all the wrongs you‟ve done within 24 hours? Why would I waste my time doing worthless things?” And find myself a place where I could be in silence. I have still this annoyance every time people will stub me as a loner, the one with no friends or peers. So I put my ear phones on and play music in shuffle mode. The music seems to concur with my situation and it makes me get more annoyed, I put it off and daydream of nothing within the noise inside the room, waiting for our professor. Until everything was in peace, our professor Mr. Falkner entered the room, he did not leave any greetings, and instead he taught directly. I did not even notice that he already gave us a group work; I just heard at the front that they are starting to count off then everyone with the same number will be your partner. Unluckily, I‟ve been paired with Lorraine, to tell you the truth, she‟s totally nice but I hate her officious personality. She will talk, putting herself on one‟s shoes even she does not know everything and I don‟t even know what‟s her problem towards me is. She approached me but I did not lend my ears to her first, but put my attention first to what Mr. Falkner is saying. We will be sharing our experience about the topic “Forgiveness”, I thought deeply and asked myself “Did I already forgive someone?” The other pairs started to share their experiences while I and Lorraine has not started yet. I don‟t know how to start the discussion since she‟s busy on her phone, until she broke the moment of awkwardness towards each other. “What‟s your plan now, you go share first!” I was not on my inkling back then so she asked me if I really listened to Mr. Falkner‟s instructions. “Why should I? It seems that you have so much to share?” I replied innocently, I can still feel my perversity towards her. “Alright I get it, you don‟t have friends or peer groups. Certainly, you don‟t have adversaries and you can‟t relate to the topic since
  • 7.
    you‟re just allby yourself” she said in sarcastically which is too offensive for me. “Well, I don‟t have anything to discuss coz actually I don‟t know how to forgive!” she continued. I was shocked to what she has said. How come she doesn‟t even know how to forgive? Why? To whom? I want to all her reasons behind it. “How can‟t you forgive?” I asked her. “You‟re asking too much!” she said aggravated. “Well this is sharing, so I can interrogate you hmm.” She rolled her eyes and say “It‟s not easy to forgive anyone, it‟s easy to utter a sorry but difficult when you‟re in front of someone. Why do we need to forgive others if they already mean it?” It looks like she‟s pulling out to something make me more curious about her. “Huh?? Are you pulling out to something? Wait!! I don‟t get your point?” It looks like she‟s pulling out to something makes me more curious about her. “Huh?? Are you pulling out to something? Wait!! I don‟t get your point?” “You will not understand Mira, you don‟t have any idea. Stop asking me and perhaps we need to pretend that were finished.” Lorraine said. “But.......” “Enough Mira, shut up and go back to your seat, and I‟ll go back to my seat.” She did not let me finish my words, I have nothing to do but to follow her, to shut up and go back to my seat. I can‟t imagine that our conversation would be like that, I thought that I would be wordless during this pair-thingy of Mr. Falkner. I saw myself on Lorraine‟s; I saw the grief and the hatred beyond her eyes. I feel better to her now, my mood lightens to her. It looks like I found something who have the same situation with me. But the questions are really bugging me..... Why? Who? How? Things I want to grasp. Mr. Falkner‟s time has ended, the noise inside the room started to take its place again. I look for Lorraine and found her mum on her desk. I want to approach her but it would be much better if I would just disregard her and thought of going first to the restroom.
  • 8.
    CHAPTER 3: STRANGED ________________________________ Iwas on the restroom when a cold air come up to me and at the same time a little girl pass through me, she looks pitiful and I can see from her a need for justice. She‟s a spirit, ghost and a strange being. To tell you the truth, I had a special sense, sense of seeing unseen things, things inside the spiritual dimension. Back when my parents died, things started to get strange; I have seen many souls of the dead, spiritual beings and apparitions. At first, I was scared because souls are always approaching me for help, for a need and for supplications but when time passes by I accept it. I keep it only to myself coz I know people will not believe me, I made my own studies, discover it and in fact I have a book about these phenomena. The soul of the little girl faded so quick that I did not notice her. Sometimes, I wished that my Mama and Papa will appear to me and that my sense will unveil their souls. I missed them so much, and if ever that my wish will be granted, I will hug them, kiss them, and let them stay with me. I watched my face over the mirror; I have changed so much, my blissful face of the past turns into a displeased face, it seems ruined, I gently washed my face and went back to my room. After me is our Biology Professor, but he just stayed for a while for attendance and left the room. I look again for Lorraine and I found her still in silent mode. I also am still troubled about her problem, until she stands up and leave the room. Where is she going? Hours passed by, Lorraine did not yet return. Our next professor comes along, time moves so fast until our last class hour up to our recession still she did not return. But her bag, she left it alone. Due to my concern, I will not leave this room up until she won‟t return. And I did not know that I have fallen asleep but the bag, the bag was not there anymore. Meaning Lorraine returned and left me sleeping. I was aggravated on what she did when a man suddenly got my attention. He‟s sitting in front and reading a book, I ignored him and hurriedly fix myself, and for sure Aunt Sally is drunk again. Before I had left the room, the man on the front seat left too, he looked at me before leaving and left me initiating his face. His tender eyes, honed nose and rosy lips, it was the first time I saw him here inside the campus and it seems he is so famous here due to his handsomeness. I go home but Aunt was not there, maybe she‟s gambling again. Aunt Sally is the older sister of my Papa, and the black sheep of their family since birth, I think. Because of hatred, she started to waste her own life, she grow as a drunkard, gambler and unfaithful.
  • 9.
    She does notcare for me, i just don‟t know if she still knows my name haha. I go now to my room and set the alarm for tomorrow morning, but before I ended my day, I used to study about my special sense, my experiences and my encounters between the spiritual and paranormal realm. I remembered the little girl and identify her state, I opened my special book and look for it, and for me, according to my own study, she‟s a Benign, since she does not show any actions of danger. My study has continued so far that I had made classifications of souls and spirits. First Soul: The Benigns -These are harmless souls, they don‟t bother human beings. Sometimes they appear as an apparition to people while the others transfigure as a human. They attract people to help them get through the Light. Second Soul: The Folks -These are souls who do not want to move towards the Light, they‟re just here on earth; some of them were staying here for a decade. They don‟t want to leave their riches and wealth; they live on their houses which we considered as haunted. They are also harmless like the Benigns but when people start to possess and steal their wealth, they will also start to be aggressive and sometimes dangerous. Third Soul: The Raucouses -They are the most dangerous type of souls. They bother people most of the times. Some of them were so harsh that they can put people to death. They are happy seeing people scared of them, the more the people are scared, the more they get stronger. They are the only type of soul that can possess inside human‟s body. I also wrote a study about the Light. The Light, I think, is the place for souls and spirits, only those who want to be there and who had moved on are allowed to get there. Its colour and brightness is unexplainable. Another one, souls don‟t have a physical body, their body was just an illusion but they have faces. And if they‟re going towards the Light, their faces will vanish and they will change as a full spiritual being. Souls can‟t talk but they can communicate people through eye contact, they are not like those on the movies. They have no expressions except of being in grief, anger, hatred and sorrow. You can tell a soul in happiness, if it‟s spirited body will glow like a star. Candles are the material being of a soul, they can turn themselves as a candle, telling that they can‟t easily accept their state. They need to be lit, and when the candle has been lit, for sure that soul is now towards the light. Salts are their material food, these are purifiers; souls are purified through salt. Souls need to be pure before going towards the Light. This study made my life exciting in a little way. There are times that souls become my friends; they let my situation become lighter just like real friends but for only a day since they want to get through the Light. Written in this book are apparitions of spiritual beings not known on earth. I have seen spirits with four wings; they look like angels but for me they are not since I don‟t believe God anymore.
  • 10.
    I call themthe Advocates; their function is to call for souls called to be like them. There are also the Guardians, who lead souls towards the Light. And the last things I know are the Ebonies or the black spirits, they are soul catcher, they imprison souls, I don‟t know what their purpose is. Believe or not, these things are true, it looks like a bit mythological but for people granted with special senses, these are amazing unknown facts. Suddenly, I remember the man who is reading the book inside the classroom. Is he a soul? Uhmmmm.. Maybe not, he‟s handsome and has a body but for a human being, he‟s so mysterious. CHAPTER 4: GIFT? ________________________________ I was in a deep sleep when I jump out of bed without knowing the reason, I look for my clock and face what time is it? 2:15 AM It‟s still in the midnight, so I go back to my bed and after a while I jumped out again at 2:30 AM I started to sleep again and woke up 2:45 AM When a woman was on my foot, I thought it was my Aunt Sally but she has no expressions and a body. Certainly, she‟s a soul and what makes me bug, is that she‟s staring at me. I ignored her and go back to sleep. But I woke up again, 15 minutes after. 3:00 AM The woman is still staring at me, but this time she‟s weeping, she has no expressions but tears were falling from her eyes. Due to my lenity for her, I started to make a contact with her. Imagine me having a third eye on my forehead slowly opening. She‟s a Benign, from her eyes, through my eyes, all through my mind; she‟s telling me that she asks for justice. I close my eyes and found myself in a scene where her death occurs. She was killed helplessly, her mouth is taped, blindfolded and tied on a chair and then suddenly she was shot once on her core align within her heart. That‟s the reason behind her need for justice. But all I just can do is to let her accept her fate and forgive.
  • 11.
    I applied whatMr. Falkner has taught us that forgiveness is a good cure for justice. I stand up and look for a candle and salt to prepare for her purification. I contact her and tell “forgive.” But she‟s telling me that she can‟t. “There‟s nothing you can do except through forgiveness” after my advice she started to scream on my mind. I put my hands on my ears; the scream was so loud, louder than an airplane‟s sound. But still I continue to say it “If you can‟t, you can‟t get the one you want!!” Lights on my room started to turn on and off “FORGIVE!!” I screamed but the tension becomes much more intense. “FORGIVE!!!!!!” I throw the candle towards her and then suddenly she vanished. I sprinkled the salt to the candle and say, “You are now purified” I lit the candle and made a supplication for the soul. After the happening, I saw her going to the Light together with the Guardian; her face is flourishing making her a full spiritual being. “Good work, Mira” I congratulated myself for helping souls get through the Light where eternal happiness reigns. Suddenly, I asked myself if this sense is a gift or an occult, If it‟s bad demonic or good as what good is. This special sense made me attach to a place where no humans being are allowed to be in. I am foreseeing a world which we consider as a mythical belief. I have the purpose of this sense, but the essence? Who give this? Why do I have to do these things? But the thing is, I can help those helpless souls, they can approach me for help just as how a true friend does. I sighed deeply and said, “This is not bad, this is good, you are good and from now on you are a gift.” This special sense is a gift and not an act of occult. I look at my clock to check the time that makes me shocked. “Wait!!What?!!” Its 5:00 AM at dawn. I have to hurry for school. CHAPTER 5: STRANGED AGAIN ________________________________ I‟m late now; I never thought that my encounter between that soul takes too much time. I‟m on the bus trapped between the heavy traffic outside. If only I could put it into flight. I have only ten minutes remaining before my first class starts. While I‟m busy thinking about many things, two guys were also busy talking with each other. I tried not to listen to them but my ears can‟t resist hearing it. “Bro, have you heard about the latest news for Nathan?” asked the first guy.
  • 12.
    “That??” replied thesecond guy. “That up until now, his family has no idea if where he is now, they still can‟t contact his number.” The first guy said worriedly. The second guy look at him wondering, “Huh? I thought he‟s in Austria for three years?” “That‟s all that we know about him, but I‟m still worried for our buddy, I missed him badly bro. We never heard his name for many many years, what‟s going on him?” the first guy. “Maybe, he‟s just super busy there. I missed him too bro but not that badly.” The second guy, “Not to perceive bro but what if he‟s dead....” said the first guy that made the second guy crumb. “Hey, stop it!! He‟s just busy, nothing more and please you should never think of it..” sighed the second guy. That‟s it; they miss their best friend I guess?! But what makes me yearn over them is that they have not yet talked to him for years. If I‟m on their place, I would really find a way just to call him and ask him if he‟s okay. 7:20 AM when I arrived at school, I‟m super late errrrrrr. I ran so fast after my entry towards the school gate until I reach my room, but there are no people inside, no classmates, no professor except to the guy I saw yesterday, and the one reading a book. He‟s still reading his book, I go to the back side of the room, and I think he did not notice my arrival. But the thing is my classmates are not here... Where are they?? I nodded for a while; I got tired running towards here. I thought of going to the cafeteria for a breakfast since I have not taken yet my breakfast. Lifting my head, I was shocked when the guy earlier is now beside me. He‟s looking at me sincerely but when I look at him too, he avoided it. “Ehy! Do you have a problem?” I asked him. Instead of answering my question, he suddenly turns away from me, leaving me here alone. Just weird. And then suddenly my stomach started to sound like a burp so I decided to go to the cafeteria. I was just eating my snack when a guy entered the cafe and sit in front of me, but the thing that made me surprise is that, the one in front of me is the one I saw earlier. He‟s still reading his book and shortly, he‟s looking at me again, his looks tell that he wants to talk to me. What‟s the matter with this guy? So I look at him also, eye to eye if ever he wants to have a conversation with me. But still, he‟s not saying a word even an “uhmmm”. Our gazing with each other took a lot of seconds so I stop it. I stand up, move through the cashier to pay all my food and go away from him. He‟s really weird. As I went back to my classroom, one of my classmates approached me and said, “Hey Mira!! You‟re really weird, where did you go? Earlier we saw you entered a wrong room and then you were gone so quickly. You‟re just really weird!”
  • 13.
    I don‟t knowif she‟s teasing me or concern about me. And I don‟t enter a wrong room earlier; eh they are the ones who are not here. Anyways, I sit on my usual seat and just spent my day focusing on what my every professor are saying and talking. After our class, I went to the library to find a new book to read. Even though, its recessional time, there are a lot of students here inside, some of them were doing projects and others are spending times there. I was on the shelves when I saw a guy leaning beside the shelves, he‟s just busy reading a book when I found out that he‟s the weird guy that I saw earlier on our room and inside the cafeteria. Why do we always meet each other?? He looked at me and leave again, did I just disturbed him? Hayy it doesn‟t matter, I move towards the librarian for the book and leave and for Pete‟s sake I saw him again in front of the library‟s door but this time I did not look at him, things are getting strange now. I was on my way home when I start thinking that guy. He‟s handsome but kinda weird. What‟s the matter with him? And why do I always see him? What‟s his name? How old he is? And what‟s his problem? Ughh never mind him. But I had this strange feeling for him, I never saw him smiling, frowning or laughing. Is he a soul? No, he‟s not, he‟s handsome, and he has a body. I hope we can be friends. Hey!! Just friends!! Ahh. CHAPTER 6: MARGAUX ________________________________ Margaux’s P.O.V Margaux Sebastian, that‟s my name, born as a family oriented girl. My parents and I were so close that we used to have this strong family bond, we love to travel. But those things were just an immediate satisfaction, my father was no longer with us, he‟s with her mistress. Before that thing happens, his contact with us started to cool; he had excuses for everything like, “Im busy” “Im tired” “Please don‟t bother me first” That‟s the time when my mother started to suspect him. And then one day, Mom and I went for a shopping. We passed by on a restaurant, we saw him, within our both eyes, with his other woman. I got numb and upset, I can‟t moved, all I want to do is slap that woman and cry to Dad. But my Mom gripped me while crying and saying,
  • 14.
    “Let your Dadbe happy” one of the most stupid words I‟ve ever heard. For me it‟s painful and If I were on her shoes, I will fight for him and will not flow with that affection. Dad chose his second family; he had a child on that woman 6 months old. Without hesitation he put their marriage down and up for a separation. Due to that part, I forlorn my studies, I felt broken and unwanted. Every night, I could hear my mother crying for my Dad. To relieve and remove all the pains I have inside and lift myself up again, I joined on a modelling workshop. My Mom worked abroad and left me independently in a condominium. Now, Mom and I are both Canadian citizens. Even though we had moved from the past, the pain is still there, especially to Mom. The song “Dance with my Father” by Luther Vandross makes my situation heavier and tenser. I know I‟m praying for too much But could you send back The only men she‟d love. I know you don‟t do it usually but dear Lord, she‟s dying to dance with my father again. That was the heaviest part in it that made my cry again and again. But thanks to that song, because of it, I met Nathan Paul Sebastian. I was on a plane when that song played all over the travellers. It made me cry so hard, Nathan noticed me, offer his handkerchief and asked me if I was fine. At first sight, I fell for him, he has this charm that every girls would want to be throughout her whole life and from what he had done, I‟m find him kind and caring. From that, we started to have a long conversation, introduce ourselves and eat together on a place where the plane landed. We shared a lot about our lives. We share the same experience; we have this very close relationship after all. Both of us were in Canada back then, when he starts courting me, he became the best suitor and do anything for me. My heart beats so fast when I‟m with him, his pleasant smiles and eyes made me realize that this guy is a big catch and I will never abandon this type of fate. I gave him the sweetest “YES” after doing his hardships and sacrificing his time just to titillate me. We‟ve been together for more than two years, and those two years was so perfect every part of it has memorable stories. He‟s a man every girl‟s dream, a faithful, intelligent and handsome guy. I never thought of adverting him, or make him feel bad. Within those two years, we‟ve started to plan our future and what do we want someday, the marriage, children and our house. I never think of Dad anymore, he‟s not a man, Nathan lift me higher and changed my life.
  • 15.
    Months passed, heare asked by his family to go back to Philippines, he came back here in Canada just to say a farewell to me, because he will be working in Austria as an architect. He left me too but it would just be temporary. And I know he would not be like Dad, he loves me and for sure he will come back again and do our plans in life. “I will be back, understand? I‟m doing this for our future and for my family.” “I know, but this time, I‟m missing you immediately” “Hey, don‟t cry. I‟ll call you after this and just always remember, I will come back for you” “I understand” “I love you,Margaux” “I love you too, Nathan” That was my last convo with him, last hug and last kiss from him. I waited for his call that day and the next day after, but I haven‟t received any, even a simple text from him. I started to worry, I can‟t sleep that time. And now, I‟m a famous model here in Canada and in fact, I bring the crown to this country as Ms. International. I‟ve been busy on showbiz and modelling, photo shoots here, photo shoot there, photo shoot everywhere. But up until now, I have not yet received news about Nathan. Questions are bothering my own self, “What happened to him?” “Is he still okay?” I only think that he‟s just busy there. He‟s persevering every time for our future. But negative vibes make everything heavier, “What if he found a girl that is more beautiful than me?” “What if he‟s busy with his family there, a family of his own? Lot of what if‟s, lot of imputations. One thing I‟m still holding of, “He will come back; he promised me he will come back.” CHAPTER 7: STALKER ________________________________ MIRA’S P.O.V I arrived home and I can‟t stop thinking of that weird guy, he‟s always on my mind. From the beginning when I saw him, everything seems strange. I just can‟t explain but there‟s really something about him.
  • 16.
    The house wasin silence when I enter inside, Aunt Sally was not around and for sure she‟s wasting her money again. I went to my room, put my things on my table and lie on my bed. This day was so stressful. From my subjects, to my life status, my gift down through that weird guy sigh.. Yes, I‟m still thinking of him, the way he looks at me, the way he see things, he makes me confused. So I close my eyes and stop thinking all the stress for a moment. I never thought that I fell in a deep sleep and then suddenly. . . . . I woke up crying, reason? I dreamt about my Mom and Dad. It says that I was on a train station waiting for the train to leave; I don‟t have any idea why am I there, waiting for its departure. The train started to run, as I was looking on it, I saw Mom and Dad waving their hands to me, pertaining to a goodbye. I can‟t accept that they‟re going to leave me alone, so I tried to follow the train and run as fast as I can, but.... A guy reached for my hands saying “Don‟t follow it”. Surprisingly, it was the guy who I always see, the guy with no expressions. I want to release his hands off me but he‟s too strong and can carry me. “MOM!!!!!! DAD!!!!!!” I cry out loud, even I‟m hopeless and despaired, I want to scream their names they might return to me. Then, the guy hugged me so tight and try to calm me. My dream wants me to realize that my parents will never return anyhow, but I can‟t!! All I want is to bring them back to me, coz they are my life, things won‟t be easy if I don‟t have them. I will not be given a chance to smile again, and it‟s because of God, if he‟s truly loving and powerful, he won‟t let me suffer all these things, I don‟t believe in his purpose anymore, He cursed me. But this guy.... What is he doing inside my dreams? How is he connected to my life? But still I don‟t want to stress myself so I go back where I used to, a deep sleep. SATURDAY I woke up lonely, its Saturday and don‟t have anything to do but to clean this house. I went out to my room; go to the refrigerator if Aunt had left a note for me. Faith, I left you money here, It‟s up to you how will you budget it, buy your food first at the market, clean this house. Be sure
  • 17.
    after my return,all are set and clean. I will return late in the evening. Together with the note is a five hundred peso bill, she‟s going to be late, from where? Ughhh. Never mind, maybe she‟s going to gamble again. I set off directly to the bathroom and bath, after that I move to the market to buy my food for the whole day. While I was finding a store, I saw a soul, a female soul, together with the family she left, her husband I think and their son. She never abandoned her son even she‟s dead, how I think Mom and Dad would be like her too. There are few souls here, but they are just Benigns, they don‟t harm people. I thought there are no souls inside a crowded place, but they‟re here. I bought a kilo of `chicken for adobo, it‟s been a long time since my last time eating adobo. I also bought a bottle of vinegar and soy sauce, pepper and potatoes. I‟m finished already, I bought no more so I decided to return home. I‟m on my way through the terminal when someone hit and crash towards me. All my items fell on the ground but the one who hits me, picked them up and astonishingly he‟s the weird guy again. I thanked him and walked away quickly apart from him but before that I heard him calling my name. “Mira, right?” how could he know my name? So i did not answer his call, “Please, wait Mira!” What‟s the matter with this weird guy? “First of all Mr, don‟t call my name coz I don‟t even know you, second how did you know my name and third are you stalking me?” I asked him irritably. But he just laughed and said, “Easy Mira, I‟m not stalking you!” he replied. “Then, I won‟t waste my time for you!” I turned away from him but he‟s not stopping. “Mira!!........” I did not let him finish his words and shut him up “Stop calling me Mira!! I don‟t even know you, crazy” How come that he know my name? I never tell my name to him or talking to him either. Anyways, he‟s just crazy. There are no jeepneys, when I got here at the terminal, I‟ve been waiting for five minutes but no jeeps are coming! Im an impatient girl and I don‟t want to waste my time waiting for a thing. So I decided to walk from here to our home, I‟m not a stagey type of a girl, I can walk a distance, since its my family‟s favourite bond. Back when I was a child, after attending Mass at the church, we will walk a kilometre from the church to our home; we will eat whenever we will see a pick-a food store.
  • 18.
    Sometimes, we stayat the park, there we play and picnic for a long time especially during their pay days.But that was in the past, right now, I‟m all by myself now, no one to share with my pick-a food, even my Piattos. Minutes passed, I finally made it to my favourite park. I sat on my favourite part of the park, the swing, I was just happy back then swinging here, but now everything seems so gray, no happiness, no excitement. “There are still many ways to comfort your soul, you can never be that always” a voice talked behind me. Guess where it‟s from? From the weird guy! He‟s here again but right now he has expressions of concern for me. “Nathan!” he lend his hands to me but I just look at it, I look at his face, he was so cute, he has this charisma that everybody loves, his smiles and his teeth, he looks like a demi god but he‟s just so intrusive!! “Hey, I‟m Nathan!” he said waving his hands as I was an idiot. “And then,,, how should I care” I haught. “Mira, I‟m Nathan Sebastian” he said in a very cute way, shocks his charm, why is he doing this? “How did you know my name? Nathan Sebastian?” I asked him, he sat on the other swing and talked to me. “Well....” he‟s going to explain but I outran him. “You‟re stalking me?” I asked but he did not reply. “I‟m right!! You‟re stalking me, silence means yes!” but he still don‟t have his answer. “Hayyyssstt,, you‟re stalking me Mr. Nathan” “Okay, you win, I admit it, I‟m stalking you” I suddenly laugh out loud, “Why??” I‟m still laughing so hard because of his confession. “See, I made you laugh, you‟re beautiful when you‟re smiling” he said in a serious way. From that, I started to frown again. “Hey!! You‟re frowning again!” he said. “What‟s your purpose” I asked him hurriedly “huh?” “I said, what‟s your purpose, why do you want me to smile? How did you know me? What is your purpose?” that was my most serious question I‟d ever ask, I think?! “Well, look, every time I see you inside the campus, you‟re always alone, you‟re just walking and studying you by yourself, sometimes you are bullied, you‟re teased by your classmates. I never saw you smiling even a single smirk, I never saw that to you. So I came here to you as a...” “As a?” “As a friend, Mira!” he said. “I don‟t trust everyone, I‟m an introvert and I don‟t usually talk to others, but this time you‟re stepping of my character..” I replied to him, now. I have this smile on my face.
  • 19.
    “But wait” Icontinued, “Are you a student?” “Nope!” “A teacher?” “Nope!” “Then what?” “Let‟s just say I‟m one of the staff.” He replied while looking at the sky. Then there a silence between us, “Tell me about your story!” I asked him interestingly. “You first!” “eh?! I asked you first!” I grumbled. “Faster... I wanna know more about you!” Nathan. “Fine.... I am Almira Faith Salvador, a nursing student. As a student, I experienced a lot of mocking and scorns from my classmates towards my personality and character. They call me weird, nerd and I don‟t think what their problem is, I used to focus myself studying but their words really hurt a lot. These things would not happen if my parents didn‟t died...” “Wait! Your parents are both dead?” he asked me like he was just concern. “Yes, and because of that happening, everything in my life turns into ruins, I had never rebuilt myself again. I used to smile back then, I used to belong with people and I used to enjoy my life with my family. Until, this so called “CREATOR” takes my family‟s lives and joy. That God put them into an accident; he let them die in an unknown time.” “Are you mad to God?” he asked. “Who am I going to blame? Myself? You? Or the other people who also caught in accident? It‟s he who is responsible for every human‟s life, he made it and he should take care of it.” “But he has plans!” he debated “Plans for what? At first, I believe that he has plans but then things start to change. Did he plan this? If he truly cares for me, then why did he put me here!” tears again started to fall out from my eyes. I can‟t handle this situation I had. “Sorry for that!” he asked “No, you don‟t have to, it‟s normal for me to cry and weep every time.” “Alright, we have the same story?” he said while nodded. “Same? I think were not” I disagreed to him, to his face, how can be that way too? “Let‟s just say that we have the same situation but I‟m the one who got lost” I look at him, he has this gloomy face after saying words. But I don‟t understand him,
  • 20.
    “Ahhh... get lost?Meaning I‟m the one who moved, uhhmmm I became a prodigal son” he added. “Why, tell me your story?” I asked, he just look at me and it takes couple of seconds before he start to tell it. “I won‟t.” He thriftily said but I opposed him, it‟s unfair for me, I told my story to him. “Hey!! I have told my story to you, tell yours too!” “Maybe at the right time?” and now he‟s getting strange again. “I‟m just playing safe” he continued. “Playing safe?” I started to doubt him, what‟s the matter with him and I think there is something that I should know about him. “Who are you?” I asked him curiously, it‟s not a literal question, I want to know his real purpose and identity, I know that there is some strange thing happening between me and Nathan. “You‟ll know my purpose!” he said and at fast pace, he suddenly vanished. What‟s with that guy? He‟s really weird. I look around the park to find Nathan, but he‟s not there anymore just a cold air surrounded me when I got up. I stayed at the park for 30 minutes, I really miss this place but one thing is not unbelievable, from the start where I met Nathan, there are no kids here, there are no children playing. I‟m just the only one swinging here. But Nathan, he made me smile, I won‟t forget this feeling and day. After 30 minutes, I started to walk again from the park down through our home. CHAPTER 8: FRIENDED _______________________________ While walking, I decided to pass by the cemetery to visit my parents‟ tomb. I first went some flowers, while walking; I remembered all anger and resentment when they left me.
  • 21.
    I saw countedpeople visiting their loved ones here; I can also see souls behind some of them. I come near to my parent‟s tomb and clean it. I talked to them although I knew they won‟t answer me back. “Mom, Dad,” tears started to fall again before saying their names. “I missed you so much *sniff* it‟s been years since you left me *sniff* and I think I will never be the same again *sniff* I will never move on, the pain here in my heart *sniff* is permanent. I am completely lost, unable to express what had just happened to you *sniff* and refused to allow the process of healing begin by closing myself off from everyone around me *sniff*. There are no nights *sniff* that I would cry for you, I never show to everyone my smile, I became weak. If only *sniff* I could set an expiration date for this pain and heal myself but I could not *sniff*. I was in denial and did not face the fact that it all happened in just a single snap.” I know I‟m crying so much, but I didn‟t care about my surroundings. “Mom *sniff* Dad *sniff*, please go back!!! I love you!!” Then cold winds passed by me, making my cry get loud, “MOOM!!!!” I screamed out. “DAAAD!!!” LORRAINE’S P.O.V Saturday, when I thought of visiting my grandpa on the cemetery. While driving my car inside the cemetery, I saw Mira inside also, I keep on watching her. She‟s mourning and out of nowhere, she‟s sitting on a tomb, who‟s buried there? I decided to visit first my grandpa and go back to Mira, so I can talk to her. After almost 20 minutes, I saw her leaving the tomb; I watched over her, open my car‟s glass shield and call her.... “Mira!” she turned back to me while wiping his eyes that used to be in tears “Lorraine?? What are you doing here?” she seems surprised. “I visited my grandpa? How about you?” She took a long time answering my question, “ahhh...uhmmm..Nothing, I just visited a friend.” She replied that looks untruly in her ways. “Ride on!” I asked her, I want to talk to her, I want to befriend Mira. I want to know her more, and from now on, I am feeling this guilt back when I became one of her haters. Right now, I want to repent and be a friend for her. I want to influence her in a way she would be a perfect woman, but in a good way hehe. “Huh?” “Mira, hop on!!” Without a word, she hopped on my car and ride with me. “Why are you doing this?” she asked.
  • 22.
    “Is it bad?I‟ll treat you!” “Lorraine, look we‟re not friends and I don‟t trust people. How can I be sure you won‟t harm me?” This is the fruit of pissing her off, she will not trust me cause I‟d become so mean to her. “Later, you will know, trust me; this is not a trap, just a friendly treat. I‟ll explain it to you!” She locked in her seatbelts meaning she wants to go with me. I pulled up the hoop and start to drive. We went to a restaurant and when we were there, I saw teardrops slowly flowing down to her face, what‟s the matter with her? We went inside and sat in a table where there are no people besides it, a perfect place for reconciliation haha. The waiter offered the menu, I picked our food and wait for its preparation. “So what are we going to discuss?” she asked. “I want to say sorry” while nodding; I said it sincerely to her. “Sorry for what?” “For everything, from being a mean gal, pisser and....” I‟m not finish with my words when,.... “Okay, I get it” “What?” I surprisingly asked. “Apology accepted.” She pardoned “Really? Why?” “Forgiveness?? By Mr. Falkner!” “Can I ask you something?” “Go on, you‟re my acquaintance now!” “Before we enter this resto, I saw you teary? What‟s wrong with you?” I asked. “Nothing, my eyes hurts only.” She replied without looking at me. “I know you have something to tell, honestly, I‟m pushing myself just to understand you. Tell me, what‟s your problem?” “You don‟t have to push yourself, Lorraine. Besides, I‟m well- trained of understanding myself and nothing more” Mira said. “Mira! Stop being stupid! You‟re not the only one, I am also like you! I don‟t have someone who will consistently be on my side, to lean of.” I also explained her myself, she seemed flabbergasted with my words but these are all true. “I‟m sorry to hear that. To tell you the truth, I visited my parents in the cemetery, not a friend. My parents died last year and still I can‟t move on, I disclosed myself to everyone, became an introvert and never trust anyone. I can‟t accept every happening in my life, I love my parents, I hope for a perfect future with them and have faith. But these faith, hope and love that people believe have not been granted to me. Faith became doubt, I never believed hope until it turns into despair, and love turns me into an untouchable person. And I‟m touched when my story looks like you too.” Mira. “We have the same life set, but what makes us different is that my parents are alive, but they have no place for me, they‟d never consider me as their child, business here, business there.
  • 23.
    Only my grandfatherunderstands me. I had my first love but he broke it, nobody wants to be part of my life, I‟m a hopeless child, a hopeless romantic and a hopeless like you too.” “Mira, I‟m sorry if I judged you, for running of against you. But now, I finally understand that I am not the only one suffering from seclusion, we have the same status, and I think we can understand each other” I added. “Can we be friends? Close friends?” I asked her. “Close friends” she lend her hand as a sign of our friendship. “Thank you, Mira!” I hugged her, “For whatever will happen, I‟ll be always here to lend my sympathy. Maybe I‟m a mean girl but in fact I still have my moral attitude in my heart. They were just covered by pains and problems” She massaged my back to comfort me, I can‟t believe that we have the stuff and I think we can help each other. “Mira, whenever you need help, I‟m always here and I hope we can help each other.” “Of course, you know what?” she asked. “What?” “You‟re my first friend after the death of my parents” she smirked. “Really? Im touched.. Well look, you‟re smirking!!” I teased her, that‟s the first time I saw her smiling even at her simplest way. “You know what too? You‟re beautiful, you just need to transform!” I said. “Transform?” “Yes, a brand new transformation. I can help you with that!” “Maybe, sooner, but not now.” “Okay!!” And after that, our orders are well present on our table. We tackled everything, our favourites, hobbies and everything that will know us deeper. By then my feelings soften for her. We used to discuss more but she said that she needs to go home, she needs to clean their house so I brought her to their house and after that I went back home. Mira is neither weird nor nerd; she‟s a loving woman and may be a good friend. I love her personality and we have this mutual characteristics and attitude towards other people and I think this will be my first step of taking her to a brand new side of her.
  • 24.
    CHAPTER 9: NATHANTHE WEIRD ________________________________ MIRA’S P.O.V This is a weird day. First, that weird guy named Nathan that I encountered at the market and at the park and my conversation with him and leave suddenly in just a blink of an eye. Second, with Lorraine, it was impossible to talk with her and probably now we became friends. I can‟t believe but honestly I felt afraid and happy. Afraid, because I thought that this will only be an immediate situation, again. Happy because my feelings now has soften. I have now a friend that I could issue forth my supplications. Despite, I‟ll be no longer will experience sorrow and never be alone again, I hope. I already finished cooking our food; I sat on our sofa and did not notice that I already fallen asleep. It‟s like I‟m dreaming, my mind was awake but my body is physically sleeping. I saw the Light!! Am I dreaming? I saw an image of a human but... I can‟t recognize who she is or who he is. Until, the door was knocked, Aunt Sally woke me up. She‟s drunk, I stand immediately and help her enter our house, she‟s swaying and I have to carry her. One thing, I did not tell is that she started wasting her life when her husband died because of a car accident. After that, I never had a serious talk with her, just like me, I never saw her smiling but she never neglected me. I laid her on her room and wiped her face. She‟s deep asleep, she‟s only coming back home when she‟s already drunk but I never saw her wild again. Unlike before, she imprisoned herself on her room and broke everything inside. I left her and locked her door. I ate and lie on my bed after but I can‟t sleep; I can‟t calm down. I sit and think about it. I suddenly remembered Nathan the weird, who really is he? And at the first place why did he know my name? He‟s always watching over me and like a dog, always following me and its really good for me to call him STALKER. I mean he always following me, whenever I go, he‟s always there, and wait what if he knows my location too? I feel nervous and frightened maybe now he‟s there outside the window watching over me. No, I‟m not a paranoid, and then I go to sleep. I woke up at 5:30 AM and Aunt Sally was not around but she left me a note Mira, here‟s your pocket money. Take care always  We don‟t talk too personal but despite, I feel her concern and care for me. Hopefully she could turn back who she used to be before. Aunt Sally owes the responsibility to take care of me, she doesn‟t have a child so when my parents died, they did not hesitate to adopt me.
  • 25.
    I‟ve arrived atschool around 6:30 in the morning. I decided to go at the school garden. At this moment, it‟s refreshing to smell the breeze of air. I sat on a bench and felt the peace, beauty and freshness of my surrounding. I wish my life would be like this ahhhhh. While walking on the corridor, someone hold my hand, It was Lorraine! “Hey! Mira, let‟s enter the room together” she said happily. “You scared me?!” “I‟m sorry hehe!” . Before entering the room, I already saw Nathan inside our room since he‟s the only one not wearing his uniform. He was just sitting alone, but I manage to sit with Lorraine first. Our class starts when Mr. Falkner entered our room, minutes passed. Nathan was not yet introduced by our professor, maybe he‟s just only an observer here, he‟s looking at me times but I don‟t to ask him in the first place. “Hey Mira! What‟s your problem? You‟re always looking at the back?” Lorraine suddenly asked me. “uhmmm nothing” I replied “Are you sure? Are you really okay? If you‟re ill just tell me huh?” she requested. “No, don‟t worry, Im fine.” She just put her attention to what our professor is saying. I look at him again and at this time he‟s smiling, I don‟t know how would respond, if I‟m going to pay him a smile or just ignore his weirdness but the thing is, I think I‟m blushing. Our class has finished and I‟m about to go home, I packed up my things and step out from our room. Lorraine said she have to go coz she‟s going somewhere. I hurriedly step on the elevator then come Nathan the weird. We were just two here inside, my heart‟s beating fast due to anxiousness, silence broke when he call my name. “Mira” in just a soft voice, my body fur started to prickle. I just looked at him and did not say a thing. „Mira” he‟s calling me again. „Yes, why? Do you have anything to say?” without looking at him. “Are you scared of me? Why can‟t you stare at me?” he asked. “huh? Why should I be scared? You‟re not a ghost?” I replied. “So you‟re afraid of ghosts?” he asked again but I did not mind his question and just frown on him. “you have so many questions!” When the elevator has opened, I quickly ran of him.
  • 26.
    CHAPTER 10: AUNTSALLY ________________________________ That night, Aunt Sally went home again drunk. I carry her to her room and wipe her face, then leave her sleeping. But before I leave I look unto her and,,, “Hayyy, Auntie, when will you stop all your vices?! When are we going to have a serious talk, do I matter to you? Hayyy” Then I close the door and go to my room and have sleep. Sunday I woke late at exactly 10 AM, it‟s Sunday and again, I have nothing to do but to stay here and do chores that I have not yet done yesterday. I went out to my room and saw Aunt sitting on the dining table; she‟s having her coffee and reading a newspaper, “Mira, have you cleaned the house?” she asked while continuing reading her tabloid. “Not yet po.” I replied “WHAT?? What have you done yesterday?!” “I‟m sorry Auntie!” “NO!! WHAT DID I SAY TO YOU?? MIRA!! YOU‟RE PURSUING ME AGAIN TO CONSIDER YOU A BURDEN HERE!!!” she scolded. “I‟m sorry” That‟s all I can just say for now, since it was really my fault. “errrr..WHY DO I HATE THIS LIFE??!!” she throw her tabloid and steps out from the house. Do I become a burden to her? Hope not. Maybe she‟s still drunk. I grab the broom and dustpan and start cleaning the house. For an easier work, I also do cleaning and cooking rice. From my room, to the living room, I carefully clean all the dirt and mess inside, I did not remember that I was also cooking the rice and did not smell it burning. “MIRA!! THE RICE!!” Aunt hurriedly ran off through the kitchen and switch off the gasoline tank. I ran also towards the kitchen, “WHAT‟S HAPPENING TO YOU?”
  • 27.
    “I was justcleaning, and I forget about it.” “LOOK!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE MIRA?!!” ”I‟m sorry.” “HOW LONG WILL YOU SAY THAT WORD, ACT PROPERLY MIRA!!! YOU‟RE BEING DUMB AGAIN!!!” These words really pierced my feelings, it hurts, it really hurts but I will accept it, it‟s my fault. “GO DO THE OTHER CHORES!!” I just followed her instructions and do the other chores. While washing my clothes, I feel I‟m about to weep, I can‟t take this any longer. After all the chores, I went to my room and dressed, I should go out so I can relieve this all. Since its Sunday and I don‟t have nothing else to do inside, I will spend my time outside. There are a lot of people when I step out from our house, It‟s church day and people are going to church, bells were jingling all over our place, there were also lots of business stores around the church temple, food stalls and religious stores. I was just sitting on a bench when I saw Nathan walking towards me, with his killer smile and charm; I could not get over on his face. “Mira!” “Hey Nathan!” he sat beside me. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Church!” he thriftily said “How about you? Aren‟t you going there?” “No, I don‟t believe him anymore!” I said sarcastically. “Huh?” he asked in awe. “I said I don‟t believe him anymore.” “Why?” “Hey I told it to you when were at the park!” “Aww sorry” Nathan A moment of silence took place between us and then he asked me to go with him. “Where are we going, hey!” he‟s just holding my arm and take me to a place that I don‟t know, I can feel his hands on me and its cold. We‟re heading towards the church temple. “Nathan! What we are going to do there?” “God has plans why he has put you in that place, and the only thing you could do is to accept your fate because at the end you will know his purpose!” he said while hauling me. I put his hands off me and started to debate him. “Plans? Purpose? Is these all his plans, to let people suffer?” I asked. “Yes he has his plans, he has his purpose. But he does not want us to suffer, he wants us to understand and follow his will” he answered. “If he‟s all loving, why did he let people suffer and allowed death?”
  • 28.
    We reach thechurch door while talking and debating “It‟s not a right question, but I‟ll answer it” “Well if you know he‟s the one who made your sufferings, it only means that you still believe in him. God is not responsible for the wars, crimes, the oppression or even the natural disaster that cause people to suffer. It‟s ours, it‟s our responsibility, imagine if the thieves will not be thieves, then crimes would not take place. If the pilot on that plane secured the plane, then there would be no plane crush. Another is that, all things are planned, we have each one a calling or a call for purpose, we have to deal with it because it has been written. Look, these people inside this church also have sufferings, maybe some of them is heavier than your sufferings, some of them are all alone, and some of them are always crying because of lost. But look, did they stop believing? Did they stop worshipping? No, actually all their sufferings helped them to be more faithful, some of them became more courageous and some of them became strong. Sufferings are not made for people to suffer but to know more about our faith and let God‟s will be done unto them.” He looked at me sincerely but I felt guilty that time, but what‟s my calling? “Let‟s go” we entered the church and kneel at the front pew, the nearest part towards the altar. I missed going here, ever since my parents died, I never visited here; I miss the ambiance, the atmosphere and its sanctity that made my feelings lighter. I was just looking around kneeling when the choir start to practice a song for the next service, and it‟s really a solemn song Huwag Kang mangamba, Di ka nag iisa Sasamahan kita Saan man magpunta. Ika‟y mahalaga sa king mga mata Minamahal kita, Minamahal kita Tinawag kita sa yong pangalan Ikaw ay akin magpakilanman Ako ang Panginoon mo at Diyos Tagapagligtas mo at tagatubos. The song helped me to reconcile with him, I pray for his guidance, to renew myself and accept my life status, coz I know it would be hard for me to move on. I want to stand up after my fall, and that my faith to him will be back as I used to back then. Thanks to Nathan. I ended my prayer and sit back and feel the presence of God inside this church. “Are you okay now?” Nathan looked at me asking if I was okay.
  • 29.
    “Yeah” “Do you believein him again?” Nathan. “I‟m still doubting, Nathan. Can you help me please?” I asked him sincerely. “I will do my best but I bet you can do it by yourself quickly, this will be your recovery, Mira.” He supported cheerfully. “I hope so” “Mira, I have to go” he suddenly fared to me, looks like he has many things to do first so I also send my farewell and bye each other. I am still inside the church when I saw Aunt Sally; she‟s kneeling in my prayer and she‟s crying. I want to approach her but I think she‟s still mad at me, so it would be better if I will not come up to her. I was on my way outside when I saw Advocates, spiritual beings with four wings; they are guarding the church and then suddenly the service started. I saw also numerous souls attending the mass service. But one that catches my sense is the soul of my uncle, his face. I quickly ran off to him but he‟d gone so fast. I‟d never mind it and went outside. Then suddenly, the soul of uncle appeared on a garden outside the church, I follow him until we met faces. His face looks he did not die from cancer, he renewed and had expressed peace. I look him eye to eye and tried to contact him. “Uncle.” “Mira, you‟ve grown up” “Uncle, why are you here? Don‟t you wanna go there up the Light?” I asked. “What Light?” they did not know Light? Ohhh.. “The eternal place?” “Heaven” he said. Heaven, the eternal happiness, maybe it‟s the same with the Light. I used to term it Light, the time when I started disbelieving God. “Yes, heaven, don‟t you wanna go there?” “Not now, my mission is not yet finished” he said. “Mission?” “As long as you and your Aunt can‟t recover, I will be always here.” He said So he‟s guiding us every day, how about my parents? “How abou......” I am about to ask my parents to when he started to move apart from me. “Uncle!!!! Wait......” but he‟s gone “How about my parents” I lose hope again to my parents. How I wish I could see their souls. Aunt Sally is lucky to have Uncle as her husband, though he‟s dead, he is still there to protect and see her.
  • 30.
    CHAPTER 11: FIRSTSTEP ________________________________ Monday again, start of class, I was on a bench inside the campus waiting for my time when, “HEY!!” Lorraine stunned me at the bench. “Whew, you scared me!!” “I‟m sorry, what are you doing here?” I‟m still catching my breath after I shout out of surprise. “wheewww...just waiting for our time...wheeeww..” “Why don‟t you hang out with our classmates in our room?” she asked. “You know what my reason is!” I replied. “Okay, fine! You want to take the FIRST STEP!!” “First Step?” “Yah, FIRST STEP to Stardom---eh--- RECOVERY!! Woop woop” she said, acting too weird. “So what‟s the first step hmmm?” “After our class, I‟ll take you there. Let‟s go my friend” “Okay, my friend” and we laughed together. It‟s so pleasant to have a friend now, at least it will not be the guards but also Lorraine. When we entered the room, all of the attention inside belongs to us alone, some of them were surprised, others were murmuring while the others see as weird gals. “What are you looking to?” Lorraine asked meanly. And then they turned back to their own businesses, eavesdropper hmmm.. We sit beside each other and talk and talk.
  • 31.
    All of ourprofessors came here to teach our lectures, two weeks more before our Midterms exam, that‟s why all of them were rushing their lessons. Then came our recession and time to go home, but I and Lorraine are off to somewhere to do my FIRST STEP- thingy. While on the hallway, Lorraine heard some of our classmates murmuring about us. “Lorraine used to befriend with Mira coz midterms is coming, she‟s going to use Mira to pass the exam” she looks mad while she‟s hearing it. “What did you said?” she asked to our two classmates. “WHAT?” they asked like they were not talking. “Damn you both!!” Lorraine finalized and walked away. We hopped on her car and go to that First step place, In a just 20 minutes we reached the place, at the mall. I don‟t get this woman. “What are we doing here?” I asked her. “Just follow me. Let‟s go” We headed towards it and went to an optical store. “What are we doing here? Lorraine.” “Mira has a lot of questions? Hayyss. Just go with me!” “Fine” we heads toward it and go to the clerk. “Where are your contact lenses, Can we check it, thank you!” She‟s checking for a contact lens, but to whom? “Contact lenses?” I asked her. “Maam, what grade?” the clerk asked. “What‟s your eye grade? She asked me. “Why?” “WHAT‟S YOUR EYE GRADE?” “250 – 500” “Miss, 250-500” Lorraine said to the clerk. “We‟re gonna buy you a contact lens as a replacement to this weird eyeglasses” she put off my eyeglasses and throw it away, people look at it but she never think of it. “Lorraine?! My eyeglasses!!” I whined to her. “Don‟t care about it, I said we‟re gonna buy you a contact lens” “But I don‟t have money to buy it?” then the clerk offered the contacts with many colors, red, brown, black and blue. “Pick your colour” she said. “But I don‟t have mon....” “I said, pick your colour. I‟m going to buy it for you!!” she looks irritated. I picked the contact lens with a brown colour coz I think the others would not fit in to me. Lorraine asked me to put it on and I do so. At first, it‟s kinda irritable to wear but Lorraine said that I will sooner adopt it.
  • 32.
    We stepped outof the store and went to another. At the salon, “TADA!!! Step 1.2, you have the eyes and now it‟s time for MAKEOVER!!” Lorraine said. “You know, you don‟t have to do this, Lorraine; how can I pay you back?” “Look, Mira, I‟m doing this for you, I just want to transform you in a way that everyone will admire you. You have the beauty both inside and outside, but people never saw it because you‟re always alone; and consider me now not as a friend, not as a best friend but a fairy godmother!” I don‟t how should I react but I find him sincere in her own way. “Let‟s go!” she held my hand and went inside the salon “MS. LORRAINE!!!” the clerk said and he‟s gay. “The usual thing?” the clerk asked. “Yes but this time, for two!” Lorraine replied. “Oww, you‟re maid?” the gay asked that made me slight mad “Hey, she‟s my best friend!” then the Mr.gay looked surprised about that. I rolled my face and gave her the fiercest face. “aah..uhmm. Sarah!! Take Ms. Lorraine inside!” said by Mr. Gay “This way Maam” one of the staff said and leadus inside the spa salon. “Are you ready, Mira?” Lorraine asked to me. I nod my head as a sign of agreement, here I come, a brand new me is coming!! But the other side of me asks if this is right, if is it alright to recover from pain and breathe again normally. We were first introduced to a facial spa, where facial scrubbing is undergoing. It took about 30 minutes to finish a session. But after that long session, I never thought of seeing my face, I transformed into a whiter one from oily to smooth ones.. “Look at that, Mira! You are now a demigod!!” Lorraine frauds on me. “No comment.. ahahahahah” “Well that‟s only the beginning” Lorraine. Next, we moved to the salon area, this is where hair cutting and hair colouring are done. The staff cut first my hair, cut off my bangs and into a V style. Then hair colouring, Lorraine decided to use chestnut brown on some parts, she said it would not be good if all my hair parts will be coloured. It took so long to cut and colour my hair since I rarely combing it. There are also a lot of dandruffs there, but no lice hehe.. Then after all the session, I look at the mirror and find myself awesome, Lorraine sits beside me and look also at the mirror. “Hey, you‟re more beautiful than me now, Mira!” “Is it really me?” while touching my face, I asked myself if it‟s really me.
  • 33.
    “Yes it‟s you,the true you. Now that is step 1.2, let‟s move on to step 1.3!!” she said to me and pulled me outside. “BYE MS.LORRAINE!!” screamed by Mr. Gay. “Where are we going next, Lorraine?” I asked her. “Just wait and see, dear!!” We are on the fifth floor of the mall, this is where cinemas are located. “Cinema?” I asked. “Yah!!” So we went inside it, there are lot of people inside waiting for the movie to start. We sat on the uppermost part of the cinema and wait too. After a minute, the movie starts. With a popcorn on our hands, Lorraine and I are excited to watch this much awaited movie of one of the famous artist comedian in the country. Since the beginning up to the climax, the movie is so much funny and laughable; there are no scenes that you will laugh and scream caused by tons of shaggy dag stories and gags. Lorraine was just looking at me while laughing, “You‟re smiling now, my dear!!” she said happily just like Nathan. “Pssshh, just watch first!” It took almost two hours watching the movie and for sure it would be a big hit, and until the end, the movie is still funny, leaving big smiles on every audience that exits the cinema. “Aren‟t we finished yet?” I asked Lorraine after we egress from the cinema. “One last Step, this is step 1.4!!” she replied. CHAPTER 12: PRISTINE _______________________________ I‟ve always been a kind of girl that hid my face. So afraid to tell the world what I‟ve I got to say But I have this dream bright inside of me I‟m gonna let it show, it‟s time to let you know To let you know This is real, This is me I‟m exactly where I‟m supposed to be now Gonna let the light, shine on me Now I found who I am, there‟s no way to hold it in No more hiding who I wanna be this is me.
  • 34.
    I‟m walking insidethe campus, along the hallway, listening to this music. Well, this is me now, a brand new me, the pristine one, but I still lack confidence. I had my contacts on, no more nerdy eyeglasses. I had my hair fallen, no more bangs that nearly covers my whole forehead. I had my smile now, but just 50%, I still have the sword in my heart. Everyone‟s looking at me and I‟m still shy. The Step 1.4? Ahhh yeah, well I‟m wearing it now. Lorraine bought me clothes, skirts and a pair of doll shoes. It took almost an hour to find the best suit for me; Lorraine was so choosy; I had to go in and out of the dressing room just to find the right fit. I am now on my way to my classroom, walking in inhibition and shyness. I have this beautiful aura yet I don‟t have confidence to carry this, but I know in the mean time I can handle it. When i entered the room, everyone caught my attention; they‟re staring at me, multiplying my shyness overload. They continue to look at me until I reach my desk. Then Kim, one of our classmates approached me, “Hi! I‟m Kim” she introduced herself as if I was new here. But Lorraine spoiled her initiation. “Hey! Kim! She knows you!” Lorraine said. “What are you trying to say?” Kim in doubt. “That‟s Mira!!” all of our classmates look at us in disbelief after what Lorraine had said. “woahhh woahh, I don‟t believe you?” Kim said, “Believe it or not, it‟s Lorraine!” our classmates began to murmur with each other, others were amazed and others were really in disbelief. “Then, prove it!” Kim challenged Lorraine to prove that I am really Mira. “Ask a question, she will answer it!” Lorraine accepted the challenge. “Well, well! Hmm..Classmates?” Kim looked towards our classmates for a question that will prove me. “Kim!” Nick raised his hands for a question, Nick is my contender here in our room, he‟s always mad at me because I am always at the first top. He‟s always for a competition making him so competitive and always ready for an action. Nick went on the front and started to test me “Well, if you really are Mira, what are the scientific methods used in Sociology?” while smirking, he asked me the question that is really hard for me to answer, but not this time! “Go, Mira!” While sitting, I intellectually answer his question.
  • 35.
    “All phenomena canbe studied scientifically. Scientific methodology is a carefully planned, systematic and objective investigation of some question or problem connected with phenomena. The methods of sociological research are basically the same, but techniques according to the materials being studied. Today, anyone with a serious interest in understanding society should think of ways by which social facts can be gathered and properly evaluated. Three basic techniques are commonly used on sociological research. These are 1.)Observation, 2.)Case study and 3.) Statistical Method. Observation, as one of the most important tools of the social researcher, should be utilized after some degree of training. Case study is a complete detailed account of phenomenon, as a religious movement. And statistical method refers also to the quantitative method because it utilizes mathematics in interpreting social phenomena.” Then finished my answer with a smile. Nick, Kim together with my classmates were amazed, imagine their mouths open wide, just how funny. Well, it really boosts my confidence now. Lorraine put her hands interfaced while saying, “Close your mouths go back to your respective seats for what you see is just Almira Faith Salvador.” Then all of them took their seats in shock and flabbergasted, Look took her seat also and then stood up again. “Quote for the day: Be careful who you bully” she gave her final words and sit again. Our classmates were in silent mode after all what happened. “You did great Mira! Congratulations” Lorraine greeted me. “Thank you” I replied warily. 20 minutes has passed, Mr. Falkner entered our class and start to call for attendance. “Pretoria!” “Present, Sir!” “Quizon” “Present” “Quesada!” “Present” “Ramos!” “Present” “Salvador” I raised my hands but Mr. Falkner ignored me, “Salvador!” I‟m still raising my hands but he‟s still ignoring me. “Where is Ms. Salvador?! You, raise down your hands, I won‟t entertain questions first!!” he said. “Ms. Salvador!!” he called again.
  • 36.
    “But she‟s Salvadorsir!!” Lorraine shouts out Mr. Falkner looked at her then at me wandering if it‟s really me, he put off his eyeglasses and squint, then cleaned it and put back. But he did not say any word, “Sellona” “Present” and just continue his call for attendance; Lorraine just laugh All of our professors didn‟t believe that I am Mira, our prof. in Caregiving laughed at me but when I proved myself, just like my classmates earlier, she had his mouth wide open. Lorraine and I were walking o the hallway, discussing all the things that happened earlier. “Have you seen the face of Mrs. Calla? Just a little wide more, flies will surely go through it ahahhaha!!” she said while laughing out loud. “Hey, stop it but ahahhaahahaha.” I burst into laughter also, a silent laugh, I‟m still me in the inside. Our talk keeps on when Kim and Ailyra approached us with both eyebrows raised. “How much did you spend?” asked Kim. I don‟t get her, but Lorraine just smirked at her “Look...” Lorraine did not finish her words because Kim blocked her. “Let Mira, answer my question, I‟m not talking to you!” “Answer us, how much did you spend?” Kim asked me for the second time. “huh?” I still don‟t get her point. “Gosh, how much did you spend for your PLASTIC SURGERY?!” she‟s intimidating me. “It‟s not” I replied. “Don‟t tell us a joke, Mira!!” Ailyra blotted, “But, I‟m not kidding!” “Tssss..just tell the truth.” Kim “I‟m telling the truth” I answered back “How...........” “Hey stop it!!” Lorraine put me at her back and slabs me from Kim and Ailyra, “Don‟t try to......”Kim “I said STOP!!” Lorraine rebuked her from being coercing the both of us, “She did not undergo PLASTIC SURGERY, it‟s her beauty hidden inside and you have nothing to do with that, let‟s go!!” Lorraine pulled my hands and escaped from them, “And wait, I think it‟s not Mira who did plastic surgery, it‟s you, I know your dirty secrets Kim, so shut up or else.....” Lorraine gave her final words and Kim looks threatened by her words. We go down and go back to our homes. I accompanied Lorraine to her car. “Thank you for all, Lorraine, how should I pay you back?”
  • 37.
    “No, you don‟thave to, next week, we will step on to the second step.” “hayyy,okay I‟ll wait for it, but seriously, why are you doing this?” I asked her. “Cause you‟re special” she replied “Thank you, Lorraine, I owe you these” We hugged each other, I never thought that Lorraine will be my friend, a super best friend. I never thought of having a close tie with her. “Hey! Let‟s stop this drama! I‟ll deliver you at your house!” “No, I‟m fine, I still have to go somewhere, go first, I will be taking a bus” I refused “Okay, bye best friend! Mwaah” she hopped on her car and starts it. I was waiting for a bus to stop over when Nathan, the weird guy, stood beside me. “Mira!” he‟s calling my name again! “What?” I asked irritably. “You‟ve changed!” he said “Now what?” “Nothing, I just noticed” he said while smiling, he‟s so handsome. “Then?” “Bye!!” he ran off again and for the second time, he‟s gone in just a snap. After a minute, a bus stopped over and delivered me home. As usual, Aunt Sally is not inside so I go directly to my room and look at the mirror. This is the real me, this is that I used to be and it came back to me again. My eyes, face, hair and my smile, they come back, this is recovery and I hope it will improve more. I was looking myself at the mirror, when the door opened. “Mir.......who are you?” It‟s Aunt Sally, and it looks she‟s surprised too. “Why are you at my niece‟s room? Who are you?” “Auntie, relax!” “Who are you? You‟re a thief hmmm.” She‟s getting suspicious “THIEF!!!” Auntie screamed looking for a help “Auntie, it‟s me Mira!” “Really?” “It‟s me, Aunt SALLY!!” I said stressing her name. “What happened to you?” she asked “Next time!” I replied, I‟m still not ready to have a talk with her. I still have this guilt of being a burden for her. I locked my room and prepare for sleep. Well this is really me now; I sighed deeply and imagine things sooner. Future, here I am. Do you know what it‟s like To feel so in the dark To dream about life Where you‟re the shining star
  • 38.
    Even though itseems Like it‟s too far away I have to believe in myself Its the only way This is real, this is me I‟m exactly where I‟m supposed to be now Gonna let the light, shine on me Now I found who I am, there‟s no way to hold it in No more hiding who I wanna be this is me. I am Almira Faith Salvador, this is real, this is me. CHAPTER 13: FAITH ________________________________ Who are you now Mira? A man asked me, he‟s all in white, he has a pure white skin toe, his face is inexpressible. Then he took me to a high plateau where the lowlands are covered by clouds, then suddenly the clouds move apart showing the lowlands “That‟s earth!” he pointed his hands to the lowlands “What you‟re seeing now is the whole earth, its people and its nature” I don‟t get his point why is he telling me this. I looked at him but he‟s not staring at me. “Look at this!” I looked to the one he‟s pointing too. Then I saw a mountain moving, amazingly he can move mountains, the way he moved his hands, that‟s how the mountains move also. “Now, do the same things!” he said, how can I do that? But without uncertainty, I did the same thing. I point my hand to that mountain and try to move it. The mountain is slowly moving, but my hands feel like I‟m pulling a heavy piece, it‟s so heavy. Then the man put off my arms, looks at me and smile. “How does it feel?” he asked. “It‟s heavy!” “You still have to make yourself stronger” he said “huh?” Really, I did not get his point. I look at the mountain and then suddenly the man touched my shoulders and Wings spread out from his back, his body turned into a spirit, and then he flew away from me, an Advocate? Angel? Arghhhh ..... . . . Dreams!! Those were just only dreams, but there‟s something that the Advocate wants to tell. I looked at my watch and what the............ It‟s 10 AM, I did not attend my class, shocks. What can I do? I‟m already late, as in super late.
  • 39.
    I stepped tomy room and pee, Aunt Sally invited me to join her breakfast. So I do, I think this would be the right time to have a serious talk with her. “You‟re absent in your class, aren‟t you?” she asked “Yes, Auntie, I did not notice my alarm!”I replied “What have you done to yourself?” “Auntie?” “What did you do to yourself? I‟m happy to see you like that!” she said happily. “Thank you, Auntie but I‟m sorry........” I replied while nodding my head. “Sorry for what?” she asked “If I‟m being a burden to you” “shshhhhhhh..Don‟t ever think of that, I‟m just stressed that day when I‟ve said that. I adopted you not because it‟s my responsibility but because I know you need someone to treat as your guardian, I‟m here not as an aunt but as your both mother and father.” She said in a sincere way “I should have said that to you, I‟m sorry, if I‟m a drunkard, a gambler and I‟m addicted to it. I don‟t know how to stop this, every time I would think about your uncle, it makes me hurt and that is the only way to forget it, I‟m sorry.” She continued, I can feel her devotion inside her together with the grieves within her heart. “Auntie?” “Yes?” “Last Sunday, I saw you inside the church, and you‟re crying too, may I know what‟s the reason behind?” “Your uncle, we have the same situation, I can‟t still move forward, and that was the first time I visited the church after his death. I prayed and shout out to the Lord, to help me recover, remove all the vices and reconcile myself with him. I want to stop all these; I want to stop blaming him and for multiple times, forgive me. I want to recover my faith with his help, with his guidance and his power. I want him to move me” “You know what Auntie that was also the reason of visiting once again the church to help me recover” “And from what I see you‟re helping yourself, you‟re moving towards recover, that‟s a good character Mira. Continue it and you will be fulfilled” Auntie advised me “And after that you can move mountains!” Auntie said in a point that I don‟t get it. “huh?” “Mira, always remember, Faith can move mountains” Faith can move mountains, wait., the one I dreamt of, the Advocate. That‟s why it‟s hard for me to control that mountain, meaning I still lacks faith. Okay I get it! Faith!!! Nathan?! I have to find Nathan?!
  • 40.
    CHAPTER 14: SECONDSTEP ________________________________ “Mira! Why are you absent yesterday?” Lorraine asked me while waiting for our professor. “I woke up at 10:00 in the morning” I replied. “Fine! Later, we‟re going to have your Second Step huh?” Oh yes, the second step, I forgot. It should be yesterday but since I was absent, we postpone it later. I also saw Nathan, inside the classroom but he‟s not talking to anyone, I want to have a conversation with him, but there‟s a force inside that tells me no. Lorraine and I took all our vacant times, talking with each other, we are really in a stage of friendship where we can trust each other. After our class, Lorraine takes me to her home, she‟s rich, they have house maids, but where are her parents, “Hey! Where are your parents?” I asked her while watching the television inside her room. “Just don‟t mind them” she answered like she‟s irritated. Maybe she doesn‟t want to talk about it since she‟s not close with them. “Mira, turn the TV off; I‟m going to be your teacher for Step 2” she said while posing like a super model. “Ok!” I stand up and wait for her to start her lesson. “Now, since this is your second step training, your dear fairy godmother wants you to boost your confidence in such a way that people will admire you the most, gets it?!” she said while holding a stick. “Yes, fairy godmother!!” Then she wave her stick like it does have a power on it “bibidi badibi BOO!!” “Step 2.1 HOW TO WALK IN CONFIDENCE!” She showed me the way of walking, it‟s a simple walk that would really attract people, I imitate her but her walk is still more beautiful than me. “Straight body, Chest in, then butt out” I will let you listen to my heart
  • 41.
    through my ownstyle oh listen listen girl “MIRA! DON‟T BE SILLY!! I put my chest in then butt out, now this time I made the most confident walk “Hi, my name is Mira Faith Salvador, from the Philippines and I believe in saying Time is not Gold, its Copper” “Hi, my name is Lorraine Jane Concepcion, from the country of Philippines and I believe in a saying that KEEP OF THE GRASS, thank you!!” ` We were just like that during step 1.2 modelling around her room and doing crazy things connected to it. So beautiful my girl Oh oh girl Even if time goes by Compared to anyone else in the world I will cherish you my girl I will give you my all “Step 2.2 HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS!” I can run to you anywhere you are I always think about you “Making friends to someone must be nice and pleasant, Mira! Now what I want you is to let out your most pleasant smile first” I smiled at her, an awkward smile. She scowled on me saying it‟s not right. “WHAATT?” “Your smile is too nasty!!” “How about this?” I showed her another shot of my smile, “SPITEFUL!!”, I bobbed my head imagining the most pleasant smile. Then I think, of Nathan, his smiles, it kills me; I imagine myself paying back his smiles. I put my heads up and give Lorraine the most pleasant smile. “That‟s it!!” Lorraine said out of joy. “After giving that smile, you should now make the first move; people sometimes want others to do the first move. If you will do that, I am 99.9% sure that they will give their response.”Lorraine continued. “Okay!” “Third, Avoid dead airs, they will certainly feel bored when talking to you, you should be talkative in a way that you can make them amused and interested to know more about you” “Okay!” “Now, try it! Example I am a girl like you before, a loner one.” I started to think how I could approach someone who‟s like that, and then suddenly I remembered our first conversation, she was so mean back then when she introduced herself and tried to mock her. “Hi!” I said. “Hello?” her thrifty reply.
  • 42.
    “I‟m Mira!” But sheignored it, saying it‟s boring “I think you don‟t know me since you‟re just sticking your whole body in this chair and have your own world!” I said to her in a sarcastic way. Lorraine burst into laughter when I imitate her line when we first met. “Hey, that‟s my line!!” she said. ““You know what girl?! Why don‟t you try to be with us, to be with others? Get out from your own world, go back to earth and enjoy all things here! Hang out with guys; prioritize your self-enjoyment, put out these weirdly notes and spare time with the society.” And for the second time, she burst into hilarity and held her tummy. “That‟s it!! You did it! You got me there. I remember the first time we talk.” Lorraine said. “Next thing, always share who you are, share them your feelings and disclose yourself.” But it‟s hard for me to do that thing, I‟m afraid to know by everyone my situation and life status, I don‟t want them to treat me as a down woman. I can‟t “I know it‟s difficult for you to unveil yourself to others, but trust me, it will surely help you recover from your past.” Lorraine held my hand and sought me for concern. “Will you help me?” I asked her. “I will.” It‟s so nice that I‟ve already found a friend to lean on from my recovery. I have Nathan and Auntie to help me reconcile my faith, now I have Lorraine to alter me. “Tomorrow, I want you to do all the things that fairy godmother taught you, okay?” I just nod my head and cheered for myself, you can do it Mira! You can! Lorraine delivered me home after all the things that we‟ve done, she asked me to prepare for tomorrow so that I‟m ready to face the people and show the new Mira. She went home while I go to my room and prepared my things as what Lorraine have said. CHAPTER 15: PEERS ________________________________
  • 43.
    I woke upearly to prepare myself, get my hair combed and put my contacts on, it‟s now my daily routine not like before that I used to go to school haggardly. I dressed simply, a simple plain white shirt, skinny jeans and rubber shoes. Fixed my things and get ready for school. I went out from my room and go directly to the refrigerator to see if Auntie left a note for me. Mira, I gave you incentives for your allowance, I want you to persevere more for your future. Take care and just always remember that I love you. I‟ll be going to your Aunt Isabel, I will be back tomorrow.  Auntie I was touched through her words; she‟s also lifting me up making my feelings lighter now. I grabbed my allowance she gave and stepped out from our house, locked it. 6:30 AM when I got to school, this is it, this is really is it, is it. This is my time to show how I will dwell with others “Mira, are you ready?” Lorraine surprised me again and asked if I‟m ready to show off. Well, I think I can but there‟s a part of me that it‟s not the right time. I just dozed my head even there‟s a little hesitation inside me coz I know this will be a great step for me towards my ultimate transformation. “Let‟s go!” Lorraine and I went inside together and as usual we caught the attention of our room. We sat on our desks, while Lorraine is still looking for something or someone?? “Mira! I have your first customer!” Lorraine sits back and whispers on me. I asked her who, in a lip sync way. She points to Emi, our class president, she looks tired and lonely. Lorraine asked me to approach her, without any hesitations, I draw near to Emi. “Emi?” I diffidently call her attention but she just look at me smiling unpleasantly. “Do you have any problem?” I asked her now I can feel the bursting confidence inside me. Lorraine‟s lesson yesterday are true, at first it‟s kinda difficult to come off with someone but when you know you‟re safe and sound with him/her, confidence will burst inside your wholeness. Emi put her head up and looks like she‟s starting to have a conversation with me. “What‟s the matter, Emi?” I asked her. “Mira? Is it really you?” she asked doubtfully and looks at me from head to foot, examining me carefully. “Yes? Ahaha” I replied. “You‟ve changed a lot!” she said in awe “Yeah, I just want to recover from all things” “Recover from what? “I don‟t want to disclose myself first, maybe after I have fully recover, I‟ll tell you but for now, I want to know your problem” I said to her.
  • 44.
    “Family problem!” shesaid timidly. “I feel you!” I replied “The feeling of being hated by everyone because of your family, for me was the biggest and meanest words you would ever hear. Having a bad ties with your family is like a brain with no stock knowledge at all for some people, and I„m feeling it right now, Mira, it really hurts” She cried on my shoulder and comfort her since I can sense that she had a hard time with her family. I comfort her for a while before I could advise her; I should make her feelings lighter first. While comforting Emi, Lorraine is looking at me and smiles for an achievement that I made. After Emi cried I advise her to stay strong for her family, if she will not, then the problem will go worst. Let them feel sought, loved and forgiven. Just like what I always say to souls that I may encounter, “Just forgive; forgiveness is the only way Emi. You cannot get what you want, if you did not do so. She thanked me and then I leave her glowing back again. “You did great!” Lorraine clapped her hands after what I have done to Emi. “Your teachings are true, I feel the confidence tho.” “Keep up the good work, well this is your first time, many things will come upon you as you walk through recovery.” Lorraine also feels amazed at me because this is my first time, and I made my first customer cry. She said that when someone cries on you, it only says that she can put her trust on you, she can consider you as a friend to lean on, and a person she can disclosed with. Our class ended and I have talked with my five classmates so far, and all of them are happy to see me converting to a thoughtful one. Lorraine and I are walking along the hallway, when Kim, Ailyra and Zhantal , the mean girls blocked our way. “Stop it right there!” Kim said to us. “We‟re going home” I calmly said to them “Oh look!! Who‟s talking now?” Ailyra moves in front of me boldly “You‟re changing now little girl!!” she flapped my head like a baby “and now you are now the dumbest of all dumbs” Zhantal commented. “Hey, Zhanty stop it!” Lorraine shouted. “Don‟t you ever try to call me that way!” Zhantal told Lorraine. “Zhanty!!” Lorraine still says it making Zhantal more irritated. “Zhanty!!!”Lorraine continued, until Zhantal is so irritated, irritated to the point she‟s tweaking her own hair like a fool. Lorraine and I ruptured into laughter seeing her like that while the two were just looking at us mouth open. “Ailyra, Kim!” I call their names; they looked at me with their eyebrows up still have their mouths open “Close your mouths, or else flies will never hesitate to enter there!” and then Lorraine and I laugh again,
  • 45.
    “Besides, it‟s alsostinky!!” Lorraine added, we give five to each other, laugh while leaving them embarrassed. “We win over them!” Lorraine said. “Yeah, and we won‟t let them take us down again” “Peers for that!” Lorraine said. “huh?” “I said, peers for that!!” “Isn‟t it cheers for that?” “Just go with me, Peers with me!” she said crazily “Okay, peers for that!” CHAPTER 16: HOPE ________________________________ After all things that happened, my hope for the future brings back, thanks to Lorraine without her, I could never been her, without her my life will be totally ruined now. Thanks to her, Aunt and I became close again, we had our first serious talk about my faith and my hope for the future. I am now reconciling as what I promised to myself and I will never be hopeless anymore. I started to accept all things within from who aI am and what I am, I started to dwell with others although I‟ve just talk only five of my classmates this morning. But the thing is, I‟m really recovering from my past. And it does not mean that I forgot my missing for my parents, although I‟m now getting better, I still missed them but I never cry anymore, my gift?
  • 46.
    That‟s the thing,when I transform into a new me, my gift did not work, I can‟t see souls neither souls approaching me or is it just me who did not noticing them. Well I don‟t want to problem them first; I have to find myself first. I put my phone on play a music to entertain myself, and then suddenly it fits me who am I right now and what am I experiencing right now. All of the songs I‟ve ever heard, this is now my favourite song of my life. All those days watching from the windows All those years outside looking in All that time never even knowing Just how blind I've been Now I'm here blinking in the starlight Now I'm here suddenly I see Standing here it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be Just like Rapunzel, I was trapped too but not by my mother or Auntie but I was trapped by the past,. I was trapped inside the pains of the past, I let myself be imprisoned and get mad to all the things that for me is their fault. And now, I‟m suddenly here, had my contacts on, cut off my hair bangs and dressed it was like it was never me. And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything looks different Now that I see you My Flynn is my hope, I‟m not thinking of romance first, just studies. Remember that I promised my parents that I will persevere for them, for my future and for their legacy. I just remembered that when I was not this before, I always wished that I could turn back time, that I could spent a lifetime with my parents or if God forbid that, I want to kill myself too and be with them. I am always chasing daydreams and night dreams when I always dreamt of them. All those days chasing down a daydream All those years living in a blur All that time never truly seeing Things, the way they were
  • 47.
    Now she's hereshining in the starlight Now she's here suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go I hope that Dad is singing me this now, the part where Flynn sings the part for Rapunzel. I want him to witness me now, how I changed how I grew because all these time, he‟s waiting for me to grow up and have my own successful job. I want him to be with me together with Mom, even just for only a while. If Lord can do it, but I still have to move mountains before I could. And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright At this point of lyrics, a lantern floats very low and near the boat and Rapunzel gently guides it up back up to the sky. That appears that lantern is her parents she‟d been missing off but she back it up and released it on. She easily accepted the fact that she will never find them, how I wish I was like her not a hopeless but who is willing to accept all the things. And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything is different Now that I see you Now that I see you Then the song ends with beautiful lyrics, now that I see you. I lose hope back then but now I see it again, like Rapunzel, I lose hope but when she saw Flynn, her perception of the world began to shift. When I saw everything in me, my perception of the to shift world began too. Hope brings back to me. My perception of hope began also the shift like my perception of this world. We use the word hope commonly but we can‟t define it very clearly. When we people hope on something, we are just simply whishing for it to happen and never equate with good responsibility. Think of woman who has been diagnosed with cancer, her husband died and her children have moved away. She has no one to care for her so she hopes everyday that she will become better, and by doing that it can give her peace of mind and relieve the stress. It can let her see a positive outlook in her life, which leads her to eating the right foods, taking her medicine, and exercising more. To her hope is the small spark inthe dark. Hope is driving her to do things and get the best end results on her life. She plans for the worst, but hopes for the best.
  • 48.
    Everyone is likethat woman, we suffer, we will despair, we will cry and we will be sought and feel sorrow, its inevitable. But the good thing is, there is hope. And it means that life doesn‟t have to be all gloom and doom. Every moment we live is by chance to turn things around, change your perspective, find your focus, achieve your goals and continue on our mission, all we need is hope. Even if all things seem lost, as long as you have hope, things might just change for the better. I feel so free and it‟s like a fantasy, It is a sense of wanting something to happen and expecting it to happen in the presence of uncertainty and hesitation. Hope possesses many qualities and can range from something minor to long-lasting crave for something big and important. In literal sense, hope is the belief in vague rules according to which things take place in the world In other words, hope the faith in miraculous and surprising events, which although may not happen are expected to happen by people with hope. According to what I‟ve seen on the internet, in the ancient Greece, according to various Greek myths, hope was the only spirit that was left after Pandora opened Pandora‟s Box. According to the myth, all the misfortunes and grievances would escape the box and become a part of human life. Hope was the only thing present in the box and guaranteed that in all cases humans have the hope regardless of the difficulty or the situation. In mythological sense, hope is what keeps people going under harsh conditions and crucibles. It also says that hope underlies religion. For example for Christians, the one where I should belong believes that hope is one of the most important virtues of men. Hope is an abstract thing that means expectation and belief in something over which one has little or no control at all. Hope is the reserve engine that keeps people moving during the time when something is craved yet its availability and outcome is uncertain. Hope is what sometimes simplifies people‟s thinking tells them what to expect from the future. It can let her see a positive outlook in her life, which leads her to eating the right foods, taking her medicine, and exercising more. To her hope is the small spark in the dark. Hope is driving her to do things and get the best end results on her life. She plans for the worst, but hopes for the best. Everyone is like that woman, we suffer, we will despair, we will cry and we will be sought and feel sorrow, its inevitable. But the good thing is, there is hope. And it means that life doesn‟t have to be all gloom and doom. Every moment we live is by chance to turn things around, change your perspective, find your focus, achieve your goals and continue on our mission, all we need is hope. Even if all things seem lost, as long as you have hope, things might just change for the better. I feel so free and it‟s like a fantasy,
  • 49.
    It is asense of wanting something to happen and expecting it to happen in the presence of uncertainty and hesitation. Hope possesses many qualities and can range from something minor to long-lasting crave for something big and important. In literal sense, hope is the belief in vague rules according to which things take place in the world. In other words, hope the faith in miraculous and surprising events, which although may not happen are expected to happen by people with hope. CHAPTER 17: THIRD EYE ________________________________ It‟s evening now and I can‟t still sleep; I don‟t know what the reason is behind. Am I played again by souls? Wait what had just happened to my special gift? Since when I walked in recovery, I never saw any souls any more. I want to open it again coz I miss helping souls to be on the light, to see Advocates, Guardians and other beings that I have never seen. But this sense is involuntary; it just opens whenever it can detect a soul. And I the souls are the one‟s controlling it. So I surf the internet and find an article that deals with this special sense. And technically, it‟s a third eye, the one Buddhist taught on earth. It says that it is the human ability to see what might be, to see potential. It also says that all humans have the access to their third eye. For example, when you have a hunch and act on it, you‟ve worked with your third eye and can be more refined and can be developed. The article follows: personaltao.com The Third Eye is a natural part of every person. One way to think of it is as a “meta” organ that consists of your mind and all of your senses working together as a larger, more powerful sensory organ. The Third Eye is a very clever bit of natural evolution that allows you to see the patterns in your life. Even more amazing, your third eye can reveal these patterns to you by overlaying this information on top of your other senses.
  • 50.
    As a sense,your third eye can be used in many different ways. Seers use their third eye to understand hidden connections and answer questions. Energy workers „feel‟ the energies around them and to then consciously manipulate that energy. And every time you have empathy, you are using your third eye to touch and feel the emotions of others. Many other examples exist for how people use the Third Eye. Seeing with the Third Eye To understand how the third eye works, let‟s look at how it is possible to use the Third Eye to sense and visually interpret energy around us. It‟s possible to see Motion (for example a car moving), Activity (you driving the car) and Exchange of Energy (burning the gas). Add in our capacity of sensing & projecting potential (being able to predict where the car goes based on the roads and knowing the driver), in other words seeing where energy, motion and activities will flow to over time. Add all this together into an internal visual map and you have just expanded how you see Energy playing out (the results of using the car/gasoline/intention to drive you up the hill). By seeing energy as mental overlay rather than just an abstract concept, it becomes a tangible property of life that we can learn how to sense and interact with in a deeper manner. Is it possible to really „see‟ energy? Not directly. While our eyes can see the end results of energy in action, seeing energy directly is another thing all together. Our eyes only „see‟ what they are designed to see, light. What our third eye does is process information and then overlay that information over our other senses in such a waylong? we can then interpret and interact with energy in a more precise manner. In this way, we can understand where the energy is and we can „see‟ it. This makes sense, if you think about it. The mind has figured something out and wants to tell us. The easiest way for it to do this is to use what it already has access to: our five normal senses. This can appear as a mystical power being able to “see” or “predict” processes, events, potentials which are not physically present. But it‟s a very real and tangible skill. Because so much depends on your ability to interpret results, there is a lot of room for mistranslation between the “facts” and what your third eye returns to you. Also, because each of us sees things differently, it can be problematic to share what we see with others. For example, when we hear the word „cup‟, each of us may visualize a completely different cup. What one person will sense is different from another. Of course, commonalities exist. We are human and our form, our nature help push us towards common baselines of experience. However, the unique nature of each person also ensures that each of us sees the world from a different angle. It shouldn‟t be surprising, then, that there are so many different mystical practices to explore all the different perceptions of the world we hold.
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    Too long? ButI really read it in whole. I just to know every part and mystery behind it. I searched for an article about opening the third eye and my ability to talk with spirits Then I found myself reading on the article Talking with Spirits at www.shamanlinks.net where it says: This particular article will focus on individuals who are interested in making relationships with the spirits, and may be informative for those who are interested in how the shamanic practitioner – spirit relationship can work. What follows applies to all of the following: people who are interested in learning how to channel, people who plan on attempting to journey on their own, individuals who have encountered or wish to encounter spirits (nature, fairy, people, animals, ancestors, holy figures, angels… etc) they would like to get to know better through conversations or other means. Ultimately, spirit communication is about the transfer of energy. Information is energy. Healing is energy. Through their presence the guiding spirits are trying to aid this world in our efforts to evolve, and be healed of past wounds. They are offering a helping hand. All living things have a spirit, wisdom, and something worth while to communicate. The energy of the spirit can fuel change. The shamanic practitioner is attempting to make a link from the spirit world into this world. By being well grounded or connected to the earth, by being in their body, and by being HERE – they can become a conduit for that energy to enter and aid the world HERE. It may be to help one‟s self only, or a small group, a society, or even the whole world. If you are not living here, if you spend most of your time with your personal energy being “somewhere else” – you can‟t be a bridge. You cannot be a bridge to a place you are not in . That is why shamanism is not about getting away from it all, not without bringing it all back again. I tried to look for an article who have experienced this and I found the testimony of Carissa Luce at www. Stevehuffphoto.com I‟m new to this, as I‟m only 17 and i think I‟ve been experiencing ghosts for about three years now. They, as it‟s a large group of them I think, hang around my house and follow me to school. Currently, I‟m feeling a chill around me and most of the time i feel warmer touches……idk if they‟re kind ones or not but I‟m concerned a bit. I hate to sound too teenage-ish, but I think sometimes i get touched in my certain areas and if don‟t think its just me when I‟m sitting alone in my room……it‟s happened a bunch of times before and the warmer touches are sometimes when i climb into bed….i feel one of them there and I kinda like the cuddling aspect as I‟m quite lonely and enjoy the company……but the cooler ones are sometimes too touchy feely….. Some warmer touches are like that too…..I‟m unsure what to do as they‟re not unwelcome in my house and room, but id like the touching to tone down…….also i had this experience where I woke up in the middle of the night, about half asleep, and i rose
  • 52.
    my head upa bit, but it got slammed down quickly and i heard a little girls voice. I‟ve also had a lucid dream where i saw my bedroom from where i lie in my bed, but i wasn‟t awake. This happened about twice. I see shadows everywhere, black and white ones, and sometimes i don‟t see them at all. But i feel they‟re there. Also, it may sound COMPLETELY crazy, but i hear voices that aren‟t my own in my head and sometimes that speak through me. Yet, its not like its a possession, but its more like a sharing of the body for a short minute. The group that isn‟t the cool or warmer ones are slightly warm but can be cool too, they have been around for the three years also, but they took on the names of some scary story characters called Creepy pasta. They took on the names and slight persona of them, and its pretty interesting to say the least….but i don‟t know if these scary story impersonators are real or all in my head.I know its a lot to take in, but its what i experience every day. I was a little bit scared about the experience of the blogger, I feel her too. After all my time researching and surfing, I now feel drowsy and I‟m about to sleep. Upon reading my research, it says that when a down people started to lift up again, his/her special sense will vanish. It‟s because that, the purpose of the third eye is to bring em up. But the one with the sixth sense can see only one soul, they will become close and at the end when the one with the sense died, the soul he/she have met will be his/her Guardian way back to the Enlightenment (in Buddhism, Heaven in Christianity) CHAPTER 18: THIRD STEP ________________________________ Monday
  • 53.
    I went toschool early in the morning, because Lorraine said. She said that we will be having our third step today; I wonder what is it this time? Lorraine is full of knowledge when talking of transformation, coz she has done that for all her life. And now, she‟s helping me to be like her sooner. Lorraine did a great job to me, I already now know how to dwell and fight to those who always stubs at me, I have rid off mean girls in my own way and stabilize a good communication with my classmates. I am now totally actively participating inside our class, I used my knowledge and used it to show my confidence inside. Mr. Falkner along with the other professors are so much impressed with me, my classmates, others were amazed, some were envy and others were jealous to the point they want me to get down again. Our class has finished, I and Lorraine went again to the mall, we went to a videoke stall and buy some tokens for it. We went inside it and Lorraine asked me to play a song, a song that connects how I‟m feeling right now. 1.....5.....6....9...8..0 The voice of the videoke voiced out the code of the song that I picked. Then the music played and I started to sing along well together with the lyrics and rhythm. I can live, I can love I can reach the heavens above I can right what is wrong I can sing just any song I can dance, I can fly And touch the rainbow in the sky I can be your good friend I can love you until the end. I‟m feeling the song right now, this is I am now because of Lorraine‟s help I can now do the things that I cannot do before. I can show myself to everyone confidently, I can be a good friend, I can advise them and feel loved. What took you so long to make me cry So I‟ll know the reason why I‟m so lucky I could smile I didn‟t know this for a while. This song for me is so meaningful, it is not literally means that we can fly but it means that we can reach our aims. Its dedication to life made this as one of my favourite songs, it‟s getting me stronger. What took you so long to make me see How lucky I am cause I am free Free to do the things I wanna do
  • 54.
    What took yuso long to make me feel I can give love, a love so real What took you so long to let me know Since I was young, this song is my favourite, I remembered the time that my mother wants me to sing it for her coz she said it‟s so cute for me. This song made my heart melt, this song is also dedicated to Lorraine, since this song symbolizes true friendship that no matter who you are or what will happen to you, our friendship will be still going stronger. I can dance, I can flyt And touch the rainbow in the sky I can be your good friend I can love you until the end. The song ended and Lorraine cheered for me after finally sing this piece. “You had a voice, Mira!” Lorraine said. “Of course, I‟m not mute I had a voice noh!” I replied sarcastically “No kidding, but you have that charming voice” “Thank you!” “Now, this is our third step, to show off your hidden talents!” Lorraine got me on that, the third step is to let out my talents that I hid from everyone. Not being proud but really I have talents, I could write a song, sing and draw or illustrate, in fact when I was in elementary, I always in the first prize on poster-making contest. “Can you please sing another?” Lorraine requested. 1...3...5..8...7...3...0 The song started to beat on Thank you for teaching me how to love Showing me what the world means What I‟ve been dreaming of And now I know, there is nothing that I could not do, Thanks to you For teaching me how to feel Showing me my emotions Letting me know what real, from what is not What I‟ve got more is more that I‟d ever hoped for And a lot of what is hope for, Thanks to you. No mountain, no valley No time, no space No heartache, no heartbreak No fall from grace Can‟t stop me from believing
  • 55.
    That my lovewill pull me through Thanks to you My most favourite song, thanks to you is giving back the love that my parents had given to us. For appreciating the things that they have done to me when I was still young, for the love, care and understanding that they give to me, for the support, and for making me strong everyday even though you‟re not here anymore and for making me a good daughter. You are really a great blessing to me! This is song is for you. For teaching me how to live Putting things in perspective Showing me how to give And how to take No mistake, we were put here together And if I breakdown Forgive me but its true That I am aching with the love I feel inside Thanks to you. Another song has ended with the use of my voice. Lorraine grabbed the microphone and started to pick her song too. 1...6..0..0..4...3..2 Then the song started to play in rhythm, I was surprised when the music played, it was one of my most unbeloved song in my life. Would you know my name, If I saw you in Heaven? Would it be the same, If I saw you in Heaven? I must be strong and carry on coz I know I don‟t belong here in Heaven. Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton, made me reminisce again my past from the time of the accident of my parents down through the nights I‟m weeping of. I don‟t really want to hear that song, I really hate it. Without any hesistation, Would it be the same, If I saw you................ I pressed the stop button without telling it to Lorraine. She was shocked to what I did, her expressions looks disappointed caused by the discontinuation of her song. “Hey!!” she said while holding her microphone “I‟m sorry” I nod my head due to ashamedness “What‟s wrong with you?” she lifts my head up and asked what was wrong. “Nothing, it‟s just I don‟t like the song!” I replied. “Gotcha! You‟re not 50% recovering” she said while I looked at her doubtfully.
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    “You‟re still affectedwith your past. I mean it to play the song that you hate the most.” She said. “Why?!” “Because I want to test you, if you‟re totally recovering or not and based on my observations your still not” “It‟s hard for me, especially when I hear that song that was the bitterest song for me, I don‟t want to hear it. “I feel you, Mira! At least you‟re trying your best and you‟ve changed physically and socially!” she said while smiling. “Tomorrow, we will have our sing a song presentation in our Psychology class, I want you to be the first one to volunteer, Alright?” I was shocked back when she say that, I really hate this girl hahaha “I‟ll try.” “Don‟t try it, do it Mira for your recovery” “Fine!” Then we leave the karaoke room, we did not went home first but played first to game stations. She also invited me to dance on dance floor station, but I refused too, I had my both foot left. CHAPTER 19: TALENTED ME ________________________________ Day after our bonding at the mall, Lorraine and I went to school together, she asked me if I' m ready to our Sing a Song Presentation in Psychology. I really hate her ideas, if only I could pull her hair, I will do that. But she's my friend and I dont want to cause her pain. Although it‟s too inimical to my will, I followed her pampering We got into our room and sit on our desks. And then suddenly, Mrs. Agatha entered our room. Now I‟m feeling these nerves inside my body. Curse you, Lorraine!! “Okay! Let‟s start the presentation for Sing a Song, you should sing here at the front. Your song must be a reflection of your own self, first ten in front will get a flat one grade. Maam Agatha waited
  • 57.
    for volunteers infront, even you would get a flat one if the exchange is your reputation, and would you ever try to? Maam Agatha is a frank one plus a super judgemental type of professor, one mistake is such a big mistake for her. No erasures and the worst is no Wrong grammar. So now, no one wants to volunteer at the front because of the fright that they may be commented by this ultimate terror teacher. I was just leaning on my desk when Lorraine raised her hands and point me out; I looked at her and make my eyes big as a sign of shock and ungratefulness “Okay Ms. Salvador in front now!!" she shouted so I hurriedly move to the front. It‟s good that I had prepared myself for this. I sighed first and then state the first verse in rhythms along with its melody. You‟re probably wearing the clothes I bought you You probably put on the cologne I bought you And right now, you‟re probably meeting her and laughing I will show you by Ailee, this song is far from my situation, the girl is left by his boyfriend because he have found a rich ones and more beautiful than her. This song I‟m singing is dedicated to my mean girls, to Kim, Zhantal and Ailyra who always try to put me down. I‟m singing now in a form of an allegory. Did you like her that much that you had to leave me? How much more do I have to be better? No matter how much I try to erase you We spent so many days together The past times are so regrettable that tears keep flowing but… I will show you a completed changed me I will show you a way prettier me I don‟t wanna cry like a fool over love, over you who left I will show them how I am going to fight with them, just like what Lorraine said to them "be careful who you bully" I neatly change my hairstyle and carefully apply my makeup With my high heels and short skirt, everyone turns to look at me Well this is me now I changed not just hairstyle, not my makeup‟s, not my contact lenses But the whole me, my spirit, my physical self and my emotional self I‟ve changed a lot in such a way that everyone will admire me and forbid the things I used to before. If I ever run into you, I will give a dazzling smile Pass by your surprised face and click clack go on my way I will show you a completed changed me
  • 58.
    I will showyou a way prettier me I don‟t wanna cry like a fool over love, over you who left I will throw away the ring you gave me I will erase the letters you wrote me Without lingering attachment, without regret, I‟ll forget you I wanna forget you, I wanna erase you I will show you a completed changed me I will show you a way prettier me I don‟t wanna cry like a fool over love, over you who left And you gotta be aware. I finished my song while their faces are not in a normal way. Also Mrs. Agatha, she's not in her normal look too What have I done? And then I went to back my chair, their faces and looks followed me in a weirdly way What happened to them? If looks could be deceiving, maybe I m dead now. And then suddenly, Mrs. Agatha slowly clapped her hands . . Followed by my seatmates and Lorraine . . Then from low toned claps turn to a high pitch sound of ovation The whole class cheered for me And I look to Lorraine and she said thaf shes proud of me. CHAPTER 20: LOVE ________________________________
  • 59.
    The whole classstarted to talk and friend with me after what all had happened. And I think, I am so much known now by my classmates and no one ever wished to mean me again. I was just sitting on my desk when I heard two of my classmates murmuring and eavesdropping with each other and their topic really hurts me “Mira changed a lot!" “Yeah and she's changing too proud of herself. She should not be like that, it’s not good and pleasing to the eye" “Maybe she’s just revenging" “If she was, it’s not a big thing" Have I already changed a lot? Have I changed too proud? Am I revenging? Am I not pleasing to some eyes? I started to realize this worth, yes I’ve changed and actually I lost the true Mira. I walked out from our room and ran to the garden and let out all my questions to my self A million thoughts in my head should I let my heart keep listening 'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line Nothing lost but something missing I’ve change to the point they admire me, but what's missing? I try to dwell with them, talk with them and be with them, but what's lacking? Should I go back to my old self and trash out this brand new me? Will I go back as a loner one but the true me or stay this self and hide all the facts behind me? I can't decide What's wrong, what's right Which way should I go? If only I knew what my heart was telling me don’t know what I'm feeling Is this just a dream? Ah oh, yeah If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be Ah oh, if only If only
  • 60.
    I recovered fullyas for myself, but now it’s taking back again by doubts. Why is it so unfair? I have now my faith, my hope, what's missing Mom and Dad, I’m not sure if they are happy or not. Happy because I’ve changed to a new pose of Mira, not happy because for the mean time I forgotten them. Every step, every word, With every hour I am falling in To something new, something brave To someone I, I have never been I can't decide What's wrong, what's right Which way should I go? If only I knew what my heart was telling me Don't know what I'm feelin Is this just a dream? Ah oh, yeah If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be Ah oh, if only Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen Yeah Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out? If I have not put my contacts on, will it be the same? If I did not cut off my bangs, will I look like the same? And If did not push myself for recovery, will I gain faith and hope? If only I knew what my heart was telling me Don't know what I'm feeling Is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be If only..I could control these things I want it to be perfect; I want it to be the same both old and new. I want it to be the central focus of myself. If only If only After my drama at the garden, I suddenly remember Nathan. It’s been a long time since I don’t see him Why Am I looking him? Why am I concerned for him? His smiles!! Hey what’s happening inside my head? Nathan's bothering me, and the worst is.................... “WHY AM I FALLING FOR HIM??”
  • 61.
    Faith, Hope andLove but the greatest of them is LOVE - 1 Corinthians 13:3-6 CHAPTER 21: REVELATION I ________________________________ Right now, I'm inside of our room and I don't know why I am searching for Nathan. Maybe he could pass by. Whenever I see him, I feel mixed emotions. Nervousness and joy, I've never felt it before with other people. I do have friends but it's unlike than what I feel for Nathan. Am I such too weird like what they said? or maybe I have feelings for him?. Wait...How? I can't tell what this affection is. Whatever it would be, I‟ll make sure it will never take too long. I mean, it would never come to a point that I already fallen for him. I'm not yet ready to engage myself in such those things. He's been a neophyte and for sure it's nothing. Our class already started when I saw Nathan behind the class door. He sent his grin and I smiled back. He waved his hand and leave. “ Mira! Are you okay? To whom are you smiling?” Lorraine asked me “Nothing Lets listen now to our professor” my reply. While the prof is teaching, I‟m still thinking of Nathan. His smiles....... wait its ridiculous. Mira! Just focus on your class. Break time. All of then left the room. I stayed inside with my classmates who don't want to eat in the cafeteria. I plugged my earphones and take a nap. “Mira” a voice of a guy that is so familiar to me. I don't even know who he was. It's blurred even in my dream my eyes sees unclear. I don't know if I would take a step near to him. It's so bright. Until, he was swallowed by it. I was awakened when someone shaken my chair. “Mira! Lorraine was. .. “ Emi ran off to me, our class president
  • 62.
    “why? What happenedto her?” I asked her like I was in danger. “She's fighting with someone in the canteen” she said. “what? Whom?” I was shocked. “ Go with me.” I was running, holding Emi‟s hand down to the canteen. And there, everyone surrounds them. It was Lorraine pulled by the hair with? Wait, a new girl? I've never seen her before. We immediately restrain them but they don't want to set each other free. Until, I force Lorraine to stop then she shouted. “What Ally? You don't want to stop this? You've take everything in me. What else do you want?” “Chill Lorraine. It's only a table. If you don't want to share, it‟s yours. I'll never pay for that spilled tea. Maybe it's good for you not to take some leftovers because you don't even know how to keep its importance. Am I right Lorraine?” Ally said to Lorraine “Just shut up Ally! If you want too, I‟ll tell everyone here, what kind of person you are.” Lorraine replied to Ally. “A FLIRT!FLIPPANT! I'm not like you; I don't share everything in public. You know what I mean.” Lorraine added. “Huh? Shut up Lorraine! They won't believe you. Because all of them are angry with you..HAHAHAHAHA” Ally. Then the girl walked out. “Lorraine, are you okay?” I ran off to her and asked if she‟s okay. ”Why are you here Mira? You too Emi,you should not force me I'll take those hair of that flirt girl.” Lorraine said angrily ”Wait,what happened? Why are you fighting? And who's that girl? “ I asked her again. “You don't need to know to Mira, let's go upstairs” We go upstairs. While walking, I bumped into Nathan; his face was sealed by questions. I want to relate him a story but I thought it is better to keep in silence. We are already in our classroom yet we still don't have a prof. Lorraine was quiet and I conquer her. “Lorraine what was the real story about what happened awhile ago. That girl was so mad with you why?” I asked her for the third time. “Mira! I don't need to explain” she said “I thought we're friends?” I asked her sincerely “tsss okay fine, She's Ally, a transferee” “Then?”
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    “urgh I don'twant to discuss this” she said in an irritated way While I'm at the canteen, she grab my chair that supposedly I'll be sitting. And when she offered it, she means to spill my tea. It's irritating! That flirt!” Lorraine continued her story, “That‟s it? And why are you're so mad with her?” “Do you know each other before?” I added. “Y-Yes! And why should I forget her? She's such a snake. She took everything from me. She took the only person that I love the most. She's the reason why I am mad” Lorraine storied. “what?how?” my questions to her “Okay I'll state it to you. Alfred Salazar is my suitor. He courted me for 3 years back when we're both in high school. He is my classmate, he likes me. Until this year last summer everything had change. Our communication stopped. Supposedly that would be the time that I need to confess that I love him. But how can I tell? We don't communicate each other even a single "Hi" "Hello". I let it just for a week maybe he is only resting. But days passed by I've waited for his first move. It's painful to wait someone for nothing. Until my best friend texted and stated that he heard about Ally and Alfred is in a relationship. I feel broke but I tried to confirm if it was true. I dialled his number but I can't contact it. I find way to communicate him. I asked and beg for his friends. At last they gave Alfred's number. I dialled it but a soft voice answered me. On line: ME: hello? Alfred? Girl: It's Ally, Alfred's girlfriend. Who is this? I gradually ended our call. I cried! How could all this things happen? He spilled the 3 years of our commitment. He spilled everything we had. I know to myself that I love him and I am willing to spend my life with him. But all of a sudden it was gone. I had mistaken him I don't appreciate him too much,it's a part of my test on him. If he is willing To wait or give up, but he made it! He is deserving of my love. Until now I don't understand why our situation ended like this. I'm mad with Ally. Before, she knew it that I love Alfred. Ally is my best friend she know all the efforts of Alfred. And it's a big question that over many women out there, how come she did it to me? Mira they are so unfair.” Lorraine is still continuing our story. She cried and cried and I feel concern for her. It's like my heart was breaking also. I remember the pain of losing. “Don't worry Lorraine. I won't leave you. Thanks for sharing your story. Don't mind Ally and hopefully you can talk with Alfred again.” My comfort “and then, Ally was here . Does she mean to transfer here in campus?” “Don't mind them Lorraine. What important is that you know who you will be trusting. Stop crying Lorraine. Our prof is already here.” I said to her
  • 64.
    She laughs andor class started. I sat on a back door, suddenly someone pass by. My heart beats fast. I know who he is. I don't turn my head. I calm down and act like I don't see him until the class was ended and he also disappeared. CHAPTER 22: REVELATION II ________________________________ We left the room; Lorraine decided to go in the comfort room first. I waited for her at the front of our class door. I get my books and read just a few. Till now, I‟m thinking of Nathan. Although he's on our room during class time but until now I'm still searching for him. “Mira! What are you thinking of?” Lorraine snapped me out of foulness “Nothing Lorraine, Maybe I'm only tired.” “oww lets eat. I‟ll treat you, Lets go, let‟s eat just to lessen our problems.” her invitation. While she's driving, I see different spills on the road. There are lot of people died on that highway. They are so pathetic. Sometimes there are children who were been abuses by the people who kill them. Until, we arrived on the restaurant. I was surprise. I saw Nathan inside, he is on a front of a woman whose busy reading a book, and who is she? A date? While we enter on the Resto,he keeps his eyes in me. I used to escape.
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    We ordered, whilewaiting, Lorraine started to share a story, but I'm only staring to Nathan. I feel blushed; my heart beats fast, like everyone could hear it. I listen to the jolly story of Lorraine while looking on Nathan's table. I noticed, Lorraine stopped sharing her stories, she turned back. I felt ashamed she could notice who am I looking with. Lorraine's P.O.V We're here in the Restaurant, I‟m with Mira. I notice, she‟s always looking back, following a look with someone on a road making her so weird. While we are entering on the resto,I see her face blush. She's looking for someone inside. As we sat, we ordered a meal. I don't understand she's always like that. Sometimes I caught her smiling alone. I don't know what her problem is, she‟s thinking of something deeply! Our order had arrived. Mira and I relate a story, but she can't avoid looking on a table in front of us. After we eat, she decided to go home because her Aunt was drunk again. She needs to take time for reading a book because she needs to return it on the library. I agreed because I already feel zone out and tired. I brought her on their house, she is a quiet person. She doesn‟t talk too much. Despite, you could see how important you are to her. I can't imagine that the girl I hate could be the person I lean for and be my friend for the most of the time. When I got home, only our maids were there. I immediately go to my room. I took a bath and prepared for bed but suddenly my phone vibrated. I rise from lying. +962*** "Good evening, can we talk?" A message from unknown. I don't take time entertaining the message so as stranger. So I didn't reply back. I take a sleep and when I wake up, 125 unread messages. Who sent this? Wooaaah! Effort! I opened and..... +962*** "hi" "Hello" "Yuhoo" "Can we talk?" "Please” and a lot. Wait... whose number is this? How could he get my number? “
  • 66.
    I take abath and wear my uniform. While I'm on my way to school, my phone rings "+962*** calling" I answered it and.... Person on the phone:Hello? When I heard that voice, I gradually break the car. I won't forget that voice. The voice that I didn't hear for so long. That voice that I am looking at night before I go to sleep. My tear drops, Me: hello? Who is this? I already knew who he is so I controlled my teary voice Person on the phone: Lorraine this is......Alfred. I know you don't want to talk with me. But please... even now can we please... let us talk. Me: how dare you to asked for a request.could you please stop this! Enough Alfred! Alfred: Lorraine pleaseeee. It's for now can we? Please! Me: on our meeting place. 7:30am sharp I will be there. I ended the call and cried. All the pain return. The pain that O felt when he left me. I want to ask him if what the problem is. I love him so much if he only knows but I don't given a chance to tell him. Is he already tired of proving himself? I'm on my way to our meeting place to the park near the cemetery where I saw Mira and where my grandpa was buried. At, Exactly 7:30 I was already there. I saw him. My heart was breaking while I'm a step forward to him; I want to run and hug him so tight but he is now not mine. I did not own him. I sat on a bench and wait him to sit beside me. He face me and ask.. “How are you Lorraine?” Alfred asked. “What do you think Alfred?” I replied in an immoral manner. “I think you are okay and happy after all what happened between us.” “What happened Alfred?” I asked him like I was innocent. “I'm sorry Lorraine if I eventually disappeared and don't let you informed.” He‟s confession, “You don't have to, is this what are we going to talk about? If it is, I need to go.” I turned my back but He grabbed my hand just to stay. “Is that what you are now Lorraine? Despite, you don't care for me. You don't even love me. You only use me!” I take my hand and snapped him coz He doesn't know how hurtful to hear those words from him. I cried and parted my hand. I don't know what to do so I sat down. “You don't know Alfred. It‟s easy for you to tell that I don't love you; you‟re not in my situation. You don‟t have the right to tell that. You don‟t know what I've experienced since you left me. I believe that you will comeback even though I don't know why you
  • 67.
    have disappeared. Untilone day I woke up that you don't love me anymore. You hurt me so much you're so unfair Alfred! I don't have given a chance to express how I love you that I like you and I wanted to spend my lifetime with you. You left me and let me construct the unplanned. You‟re so unfair I thought you love me. In 3 years of courting me I don't imagine that you could left me behind. I wish that you already left me before and informed that you won't stay. You let me believe that you won't leave me. You treated me like I am only the one. What‟s the problem? What's wrong? Why my best friend Ally? Why Alfred??” I cried into him. “ Lorraine I'm sorry you don't know the reason behind.” He said but it keeps on bashing me. “Why can't you tell me the reason? You let me suffer” “I left you because I want you to be secure and for that no one would hurt you because I can't resist seeing you suffering from pain.” He said angrily Is that all? Well, that‟s just a simple reason, and there are no ways of leaving me far behind. “ What do you think what happened to me. Am I not carrying the pain? What's about my security? It‟s bothering me.” “ Because Ally accuses me. She threatened me that she will hurt you if I not come with her. That time I don't know what to do Lorraine. I‟m such a desperate, Lorraine. I don‟t know any way that she won't hurt you but to obey her but I never left on your side. I'm always outside on your house. Guiding you, watching you. I escape from Ally until in your school I followed you. So painful Lorraine seeing you suffering because of me. This is not what I want to happen between us. Because I love you so much and nothing had change and it would never be. I know I've been a coward. I fight for you but now I'm here strong enough. I will never leave you again. Please stay I love you and God knows it.” Alfred continued and storied. “Every time that I don't see you my heart was piercing in pain. I repent everything it's my entire fault. I‟m such a coward. Lorraine just give me another chance to express again my feelings to you.” He added. But he left me crying. “Alfred it is not that easy to forgive, it‟s hard to forgive you. I don't know what I should do about what I've found. I sore from the pain. It change a lot, Alfred since you left me. Alfred I'm sorry but....” I was about to finish my words when, He hugs me and it's like he don't want to set me free; that was the hurtful hug above all, I miss his hug. I want to hug him back but my heart still carrying the anger. I forced his hands but he was strong enough to stop me. I felt so weak and I let him hugged me.
  • 68.
    CHAPTER 23: IFONLY ________________________________ MIRA’S P.O.V I think that I was too early today; I don‟t know where Lorraine is. I think she‟s not yet here in school. I went to the waiting area of our school. The people were so rare not like before. I read a book and I don‟t mind them. Little by little I‟m fallin Deeper than the sea Maybe you can swim with me Swim away from the current And if I drowned in your company Will I lose myself in your stream Find a way to rescue me Away From the current When I heard that song, there‟s only one person that I remember, it‟s like there are butterflies inside my tummy. I can‟t stop smiling when I remember him. The beauty of his eyes and his pointed nose, his lips as red as roses. And his gratifying face that since like to stare every time. I don‟t know why I feel like this? Am I falling inlove with him? But ... It can‟t be. Maybe he can‟t stay for a long time or he has a work. It was wrong.... very wrong! I need to stop these feelings. For him we‟re not compatible. It‟s like no direction. I fixed my bag, stood up and while walking I bumped into a guy. “Ouched!” I uttered. “I‟m sorry” he said The people around us staring at me like they‟re wondering. “Nathan?””it‟s okay, I need to go first. Bye” I ran fast until I‟ve reached the classroom. I sat down on a chair then I saw Nathan also entering the room. I seat properly and I didn‟t turn my head back to him.
  • 69.
    Suddenly, someone satedbesides me. I thought it was Lorraine, but it‟s Nathan. “Mira! Can we eat together? Like lunch?” he asked me “Huh?” I replied “I said, if we can eat together later like lunch time?” he repeated “ Ahhh ohh okay” I answered While he was saying anything, I‟m out of nowhere. His tender eyes seem I was carried by his beautiful eyes. I don‟t know but this is what I feel when he is around. “okay” “Thank you. Where‟s your friend?” he asked “Who? Lorraine?” I don‟t know where she is. She‟s still not around. I‟m still looking for her.” I replied My classmates are staring at me. Maybe they are envy, because I‟m talking with this handsome guy “ I hope she will not arrive” he said “Nothing, What did you say?” I asked “I heard something, don‟t deny it” I told him “it‟s better if Lorraine was not around, so that I could spend much time with you” he stated He left me and he went back to where he was seated. Our prof already arrives. He left me and everything what he said were glancing in my head. I felt blushed about what he has said. All day, I‟m out of my mind. It‟s already break time when Nathan asked me to go down. Instead of going to the canteen he carried me in a vacant room. “Nathan! Why did you brought me here?” I asked him unrespectedly “Actually, I already bought our food because, maybe canteen was so crowd or noisy.So it‟s better for us to stay here.” he answered “oh really? You‟re so kind thanks for the effort.” “ okay,just sat there and enjoy the food.” I sat and eat the food that he bought. But he didn‟t touch the food nor eat it. “Why don‟t you eat the food?” I ask him “What? Nothing, I just wanted to stare at you while eating” he told me Seems like I was blushing again about what he said. I can‟t take it then I smiled at him. “You‟re such a joker Nathan. You know this food was so delicious and it‟s better for you to take a little.” “That‟s okay Mira.” “Okay fine” After we eat,we related a story. He‟s unique. He‟s different. Everytime he looks at me everything seems to stop. After breaktime we go upstairs. Where‟s Lorraine? It‟s wondering because she didn‟t attend our class.
  • 70.
    Suddenly,Nathan disappeared. AndI don‟t know where he goes. During our dismissal I saw Nathan hugging someone. I ran towards the comfort room. Why I feel like my heart was crumpled, when I saw them. Mira! It can‟t be. I get out of the restroom and I immediately go down and I saw Nathan, calling me. “Mira!Lets go together” “I can‟t, I need to go home bye” I arrived at home. Aunt Sally was not around. I dress up and I clean the house fist. Gradually, my phone vibrated. Lorraine texted me. I opened it and read... “Mira! I‟m on my way to your house.”-her text “Okay take care Lorraine, I‟ll tell you something”- I replied After 25 minutes she arrived home. She bought lot of food. “Lorraine, what‟s the problem? Seems you bought a lot to eat.” I asked her “it‟s for you Mira” she uttered. “thankyou Lorraine” “Mira,”(she hold my hand and began to cry) “what‟s the problem Lorraine? Why are you crying?” “Mira, Alfred and I have met awhile ago at the park near the cemetery. He confess everything to me. His reason why he vanishes. Mira it hurts. I want him to come back. But I can‟t still forgive him;I still love him I don‟t want him to left in my life. I will repent that.” “In that case, you must tell him, forgive him if he deserves your forgiveness.” “Thankyou Mira! But I must talk to him first. But how?” “Then, you must also ask for his forgiveness about what you‟ve done to him. Be thankful because he still loves you.” “Why Mira, you haven‟t felt inlove yet?” “nothing instead of....” “who? Tell me something,Mira” “it‟s not important. Nevermind” “Tell me, Mira who‟s the guy?” Lorraine naughtily asked me. “I don‟t know Lorraine, but I thinkthere‟s no I fall for him, I miss his smiles; I miss every part of him.” I confessed. “Who is he? For once, I don‟t see you with a guy?” “Nathan is his name! He‟s new here in our campus, sometimes he‟s inside our room!” “What are you saying, Mira? There‟s no someone who is new here and that is inside our room, if ever he‟s with us, everybody knows him. But there‟s no Nathan inside our room?” I was shocked, how can she don‟t met Nathan? CHAPTER 24: SOUL? ________________________________
  • 71.
    Lorraine got homeand I was thinking about what she said, that she haven‟t saw Nathan. I went to sleep and when I woke up, it‟s already 7:30 AM, I‟m already late; I took a bath quickly, wear my uniform and eat my breakfast. It was at 8:00 AM when I entered the gate, and then someone grabbed my hand and carried me towards the vacant room. It was Nathan, who‟s pulling at me “Hey!! Nathan!! What‟s going on” “Nothing” So I get out from that vacant room leaving Nathan inside. NATHAN’S P.O.V There are only few days left and I have to tell Mira about my real identity. When I saw her entering the gate, I pulled her out but she ran off, she‟s the only one and no one else that I must use for my plan. Suddenly I will disappear and popped out like a bubble, I can teleport to other places, it‟s not a magical thing, and I‟m no longer a human because I am a soul. How? I am Nathan Paul Imperial, I died because of a plane crash accident three years ago. I was about to flight to Austria to look for a job but it was unlucky. My parents, friends and my girlfriend don‟t know it yet, and so I try to have a close ties with Mira since she has a third eye, a gift where she can see spiritual and immortal beings like me. I used her as a plan for my revelation. We haven‟t talk for many times because she‟s quite busy recovering herself, and then lately, I found her again at the library. “Mira, can we talk, I have something to tell you!” I quickly approached her “I have many things to do” she‟s not fetchy, It‟s so hard to get her trust LORRAINE’ S P.O.V Nathan followed me again at the library, but I refused to go with him. But he‟s stronger than mine, he hold my hand but I pushed him and I went at the back of the school. “Stop this, Nathan, they‟re all staring at us!” I scold him “You‟re the only one who could see me?” he said “What?” I asked in doubt. “Don‟t you still get it?” “You know what Nathan, I need to go” I turned my back on him but he continued talking “Mira, I need to.....” “I need to keep a distance from you, Nathan, please!” my pitiful advise to him, I want to move on from having feelings for him. “Why?” he asked “Coz, I want to stop this feeling for you, I have fallen for you Nathan and I love you, but I don‟t want to confess all these things to you because I know that you will also leave me, so please, just let me go!” my confessions to him. “Sorry Mira but, you don‟t need to love me because I‟m already dead, Im a soul and since you have the gift, you can see me just as how you see humans!”
  • 72.
    I was shocked,he‟s a soul, that‟s why Lorraine don‟t know him and no one in the room approaches him, but I‟m still doubting, how can it be, I have my own studies of souls and he don‟t have any characteristics on the four classifications. “What are you talking, are you crazy Nathan?” “Mira, it‟s true look at me!” I hold him and his body turns into a spiritual being. I was surprised “Mira, I disguise as a human because my mission here is not yet finished so I came here to come to you and be my instrument for my plan.” All this time you let me believe that you‟re real and that someone could love me, could take care of me and worried of me. But all of a sudden, I was just a part of your plan. Nathan: Im sorry Mira but I have to do this.Don't love me because I don't deserve your love.I have a girlfriend she is Margaux Sebastian my fiancee.Until now she didn't know that I'm already dead.She knows that Im in Austria and Im working there.So Mira I'm begging you please tell to my parents and to my fiancee what happened to me.Please Mira youre my only hope.This is for the silence of my soul.This is my last wish to you. Mira: I can't accept this ! How did you do this to me ? Why is this happening to me it is Unfair,really UNFAIR nathan.Seems you started it all then I'll be the one to end this. CHAPTER 25: MISSION ________________________________ Margaux POV A cold evening. I don't know how so could it was. I‟m doing the report for our business meeting tomorrow. But I'm only staring at the picture of me and Nathan. I miss him so much and hopefully time will pass and he will marry me. It‟s already 8pm. I need to go on their house. I'm on my way to their home. As I descended on my car, a strong wind bumped. I enter their house and I saw the food was set on a table. Margaux: good evening tita
  • 73.
    Nathan's mom: ohMargaux you're here oh come on let‟s eat Margaux: tita I miss Nathan, there's any news about him Nathan's mom: I already miss my youngest The door bells when we were eating. Nathan's mom: Manang,please open the gate thank you “Mam someone is looking for you?” Manang said to Tita Nathan's mom: okay And then, the one whose looking for tita, entered the house Nathan's mom: yes what do you want? Mira: Good evening Mam. I'm Almira Faith Salvador. I'm here because I have something to tell you Nathan's mom: what is it Almira? Mira turned back like she was talking with someone Mira: that Nathan.. Nathan's mom: what about Nathan? Mira: that... He is already dead Nathan's mom and Margaux: What? Nathan's mom: What are you talking about Mira? My son is not dead he's in Austria. Mira: but no mam, he died in a plane crushed. Nathan's mom: No! Youre a liar get out of my sight ! Mira: Please Mrs. Imperial believe me Plingggggg! A picture frame fallen Margaux : tita come here. Nathan's mom: No ! No! My son is alive. You young lady tell me, tell me the truth! Mira: Im saying the truth Mrs.Imperial. Margaux: Then how did you know that Nathan's died in a plane crush Mira: Nathan told me. I can see dead people or Souls. Nathan pretended to be my friend without knowing that he is already dead. Until one day he chronicled to me everything. Nathan told me to go here and tell you what happened. He will never come back again Margaux. Actually, he's with me but you can't see him. At 3am in the morning he will disappear and no one can see him again Margaux: Can you tell Nathan to hug me for the Last time? I miss you Nathan,I thought you‟re okay.(margaux outburst) I can't accept this! I can't believe that everything will be destroyed.what happened to you baby ? I love you so much I will miss you I hope we will see each other again Would you know my name? If I saw you in heaven?
  • 74.
    EPILOGUE ________________________________ Would you knowmy name, if I saw you know in heaven? Would it be the same If I saw you in heaven? In our life, we need to be courageous because we cannot know if how things will work. Some things are pre-destined; some are just snap moments and immediate situations. Life is a challenging game given to us by God and it‟s on our own strategy how to deal with all the challenges. I am Almira Faith Sebastian, a doctor of two professions; a doctor of human and doctor of souls. I am a physical doctor and at the same time a paranormal doctor. Years passed, when the most thrilling part of my life took place. I am a woman of unworthy back then, all things that happened to me made it, I was born as a left out, all people who I love the most left me, I was left alone and they left me in a poor stable. My parents died because of a plane crash accident together with Nathan. My best friend Lorraine, who used to recover me, also left me after a storm passed by our country, Aunt Sally died because of liver cancer and lastly Nathan, my first love with a soul. I never thought that he‟s just a soul after falling me to him, but I was just his plan for his mission. I was just a part of his plan, plan to tell his family his death and a plan to fall me and make him believe. All these things changed my life, I started to be a worthless, to a woman of worth back to worthless and go up to a profound, worthiest and luckiest woman. These things helped me to prove myself that all things are planned according God‟s will, and that we should follow it thru FAITH, HOPE and LOVE. All happiness are barren first with sorrows and all things here on earth came from things that we can‟t see, these things are TEARS FROM HEAVEN. -END-