The document discusses the author's inner creative process and muse. It describes how the author's personality Brigid-Rose helps organize thoughts and ideas before expressing them creatively through writing or music. The author believes truly opening one's creative mind comes from within by focusing on deep thinking and addressing life's "what ifs". The document emphasizes finding balance and being tolerant to appreciate different creative expressions and perspectives.

1. THE INNER SELF A HOST TO MY MUSE

2.  This is a breeze rewind session noting that I began the plot for today 39 hours
and 40 minutes ago, you may find yourself asking in a few minutes what is she
going on about and why all this information. To be honest I don’t know why I
decided to attack this rewind session like this or even this way, perhaps its
because I have no idea what to do in front of an actual audience.
 My session is going to be an account on how a particular personality of mine
Brigid-Rose perceives the environment and how it helps my creativity.
 A lot of my slide titles may not make sense to you but it makes tons of brain to
me, plus the images are all to elongate this, they may come in handy maybe I
don’t know.
 Also there is a lot of text not for you, for me to keep me on track with what I am
saying here, seeing as it is a premeditated thought.
 Yes at any point feel free to open up and participate with questions, and views.
It is after all an interactive session, cut me off but honk first, be polite 

4.  Many people prefer to stick to norms,
those set down patterns to guide their
lives, its cool for them really thumbs up,
but I always wonder how they sleep at
night (asides from the random one night
stands and tears on a musty pillows…we
all have one of those) I mean how do
they sleep at night, with the hollow tin -
can labeled MYSELF standing empty, in
the corner of their minds.
 The moment you begin to identify your
individual, you become aware of the
main question “who are you….” I always
wonder what my answer would be to that
infinite question when I die.
 Knowing who you are helps you express
and it turn you can understand your
creative wave lane: singer, artist,
wordsmith, whatever.

5.  I was 9 years old when I was sent to a
girls only catholic convent Louisville
Girls High School. Here I learnt how to
be a ‘stereotype’ lady, sit well, speak well,
eat well, for real’s we ate bread n stew
with cutlery sets. I slowly began to think
the world structure of what should be
done and how it should be done was
slightly archaic and needed correction,
but I kept mute before I got a brush with
the law. But honestly why must a lady be
seen not heard, I really am no extrovert
but I learnt to be a nuisance and shred
the linen of feminity as a rebellious kid,
pity I miss the silence of those days. I
noticed then that I was sentimental to
songs of freedom but I was no slave, or so
I thought.

6.  When you look into yourself, you begin
to see more, to dream often and before
long you begin to create, sing songs from
the freedom of your spirit. Everyone has
a distinct way of establishing their
existence in life. Some people go berserk
and create collages using specific human
body parts but not us, we express our
humanity with the intricate application
of words, music and arts (images,
illustrations ). I used to hear voices a lot
when I was a kid (still do) my family
totally ignored it till one day I actually
realized I was hearing voices from inside
of me and so I decided to listen in on
those voices and before I knew it, writing
was a way I was adopting to voice out my
emotions, well that and eavesdropping
on spirits 

7.  Believe it or not, you have to have an
attack to life up your sleeves
somewhere…do you get? No….oh okay,
Imagine when Onika Tanya Maraj
realized who she wanted to be, and poof
she found sponsorship and began to
pump her self into Nicki Minaj…the
Lewinski we all seem know today. She
knew she had a talent and found her
route to fame, it did not just happen it
was a process. The same way a person
decides strategies to express themselves:
dress sense, speech patterns and slurs,
body postures, fetishes and many
random things.
 If you have a particular character
description you run by, you can begin to
flow with the society running your own
plot structure without stepping out of
line.

8.  Your young men shall see visions, and
your old men shall dream dreams. A very
nifty bit from the bible, I at times agree
to and disagree with. It is never to late to
open up your creative mind and tell the
world what you’re all about. Limitations
always pop up, you get into a block space
but the trick is not giving up on it, if not
it might be lost forever.
 I ask myself how can your creative
ingenious be remembered and I decided
I could be an activist for issues that affect
me the most, like Gender bending
one’s(not feminism). How do you do that
in the Computer age?

10.  I began to understand the truth at sixteen,
that the best of life was meant for beauty
queens, hot chicks ,badass rich girls
and high school girls with cream chocolate
skin, with eyes that glowed with mock
future bright. Who married young and then
retired, but not my kind. Valentines never
were more than days to mope and indulge
in new ways of escape. Evening rendezvous
of youth were spent on the beautiful ones,
while the rest strayed in corners picking
habits, trying to matter, trying to exist. At
sixteen I learned the truth. Those of us with
ravaged spirits, flames of reality blaze
within, ordinary people, lacking in the
social graces, desperately remained at home
inventing lovers on the phone murmuring
obscenities, dreams where freely dashed at
us to cash if the luck came. There was more
to life than sixteen. So remember those who
win the game lose the love they sought to
gain in debentures of quality and dubious
integrity . While we grew up and bloomed.

11.  Being who you are is a gift many people
fail to appreciate and understand, it is a
driving force from the soul, it is what
makes the difference when 10 people
make a bowl of edika-ikong and you can
pick a favorite and a worse.
 There should never be a slated out way
to express one’s self, however certain
guidelines on how to go about certain
modes of expression like, chorus and
verses in lyrics, iambic pentameter's in
poetry, certain surgical incision area’s
when augmenting body parts and so on.
But to truly open up and make a creative
statement starts from within. Different
issues affect different people at random
times, if you don’t agree with it that is
fine but when criticizing always keep in
mind its an individual creative
expression.

12.  I strongly believe that the advent of
sincere, untainted expression comes
from a spirit that is balanced and
harmonized. I take religion very dearly
because it is the hospital that nourishes
and restores the wellbeing of the total
package; You.
 Peace of mind is sure to reward you with
clairvoyance , same way a tidy room;
clean sheets, air-conditioner or fan
blazing, is a guarantee to a great night
rest (no mosquitoes included)

13.  For me depression is my basic emotion,
hence when I write I focus on deep
thinking, what if’s, and hippie themed
propaganda. If you’re always chirpy and
happy in most cases your creations
would appear satirical or comical, except
in some rare situations (50:20) where sad
people are able to create happy themed
creative’s.

14.  All my life I heard so much gist about
myself, same with many creative minds.
Today its “you’re living a lie” next day is
“you don’t know what you’re doing to
your life” the next “get a husband that’s
life”. We all judge people like pictures
from color books only the color side
forgetting to read their pages, each one of
us at different times forgetting how it
feels to sit at the receiving end. I decided
a while that I did not want to self-
destruct so I immersed myself into my
cause; LIFE.
 If you don’t get it, forget it, I really don’t
have to explain beyond that.
 You have to outline what your stance in
life is and slowly, it would be an aura that
defines you and everything to produce
and interact with.

16.  Silence is golden is really not a joke, the
comfort that only silence can give you
can only be equated with the feel of
drinking spring water upon being
rescued from the desert. I believe once in
a while (if you don’t already indulge in
the practice) you should try some
solitude and use the time to review,
revise, correct, applaud, caution, adapt
etc your life, ask random questions like;
I wonder at times if 5 years ago the
answer to the question in "5 years time
what will u b doing?" is going as planned.
I love to evaluate my life, most may think
it is a whack job idea but really, its like
having a car and never seeing the need to
maintain or understand its manuals( I
don’t know honestly, I don’t drive) but it
just might make sense to someone.

17.  Never be biased, I personally need to
take my own advice seeing as I am
quite hypocritical, but sincerely
being open minded to various
points of views is a way to broaden
your creative perspectives, it helps
you understand and increase the
amount of social, physical, spiritual,
and mental planes out there, in turn
you have a big box with goodies to
select from.
 Don’t be myopic in your perception
let thing in and let things out. You
know what is worth it in the end.

18.  I noticed I found beauty where many
people didn’t and that in some way
helped define who I was going to slowly
grow into. This factor allowed me spread
my arms and appreciate versatility in
other words I slowly learnt to be tolerant.
 Keeping in mind the balance determine
for yourself how you want your
expression to help you and the society, it
is best to always give back to whatever
society you identify with, for unknown
reasons. Just do it yeah.
 Ps these girls are real….its pretty cool.

19.  So I rely on my inner self, Brigid to
help me organize my thoughts and
processing before I can relate it
down in creative expression, be it
music or writing. My inner self is
hardly aware of what goes on outside
but is very conscious, always busy
with thoughts I can’t be bothered to
answer and briefing me at any given
time. I don’t even know how this is a
point but credit has to be given to
the backstage acts.

20.  Guess in the end I managed to make some sense out of
all this to myself and hopefully you either learnt
something, or where entertained or even trapped in
the “what the…” bubble, but that’s all good.
 Have a good weekend, goodnight.