The document provides six tips for writing concisely: 1) Cut redundant words, 2) Replace modifying phrases with adverbs, 3) Delete unnecessary relative clauses, 4) Use nominalization carefully, 5) Replace descriptive phrases with simple adjectives, and 6) Avoid noun strings by using simpler nouns. Simplicity in writing is emphasized as the ultimate sophistication.

2. 1. Basically, the first widget pretty much advantageously surpassed the next
second one in overall performance.
2. Sympathizing with her concerns, he nodded in response to her complaint.
3. We drove down Lombard Street, which is considered the toughest street
in the world.
4. The report gave an analysis of the accident.
5. People who experienced at traveling know better than to label their luggage.
6. Apple is developing a new consumer device that allows users
to communicate vocally in real time.

3. Conciseness

4. Every word tells.
‘Element of Style’
Simplicity is
the ultimate sophistication.

5. Six Ways of Writing Concisely

6. #1: Cut Redundant (Meaningless) and Repeated Words
Basically, the first widget pretty much advantageously
surpassed the next second one in overall performance.
Basically, the first widget pretty much advantageously
surpassed the next second one in overall performance.
The first widget performed better than the second.
Kind of, actually, particular, basically, virtually, most/generally
Full and complete, each and every, hopes and desires, basic and fundamental
Free gift, terrible tragedy, final outcome, various different, really certain
For all intents and purposes, American industrial productivity
generally depends on certain factors that are really more
psychological in kind than of any given technological aspect.
American industrial productivity depends more on psychological
than on technological factors.

7. #2: A Modifying Phrase to a Simple Adverb
Sympathizing with her concerns, he nodded in response
to her complaint.
Sympathizing with her concerns, he nodded in response
to her complaint.
He nodded sympathetically in response to her complaint.
Harold, lazy to do any work in his bedroom, is sleeping in his
double-sized bed.
Thankful for all the efforts the school has paidThankfully
Excited with the upcoming fun and wanted enjoymentExcitedly
Harold is lazily sleeping in his double-sized bed.

8. #3: Delete Extraneous Relative-Clause Phrase
We drove down Lombard Street, which is considered
the toughest street in the world.
We drove down Lombard Street, which is considered
the toughest street in the world.
We drove down Lombard Street, considered
the toughest street in the world.
CY Leung, who is the Chief Executive of Hong Kong, is…CY Leung, the Chief Executive of Hong Kong, is…
Nisa in the University, which is frequently visited, is…
Susan, who has told Harold and Ritchie not to be late for many
times, is indeed a very patient teacher.
Susan, having told Harold and Ritchie not to be late for many
times, is indeed a very patient teacher.
Frequently visited, Nisa is...

9. #4: Use Nominalization ‘Carefully’
The report gave an analysis of the accident.The report gave an analysis of the accident.The report analyzed the accident.
Enhance the beauty of…Beautify
Undergo the careful process of nominalization
To maintain the environment of the punctuality of the classroom,
the lateness of any student should have an entire prohibition.
To maintain a punctual classroom environment, lateness should
be prohibited.
Nominalize

10. #5: Replace an Unnecessarily Descriptive Phrase with a Simple Adjective
People who experienced at traveling know better
than to label their luggage.
People who experienced at traveling know better
than to label their luggage.
Experienced travellers know better
than to label their luggage.
The device which requires the least effort to use…The convenient device
The staff who never fail to meet their assigned tasks…
The program which includes the study of English language and
the teaching of English language is the best in the Chinese
University of Hong Kong.
The ELED program is the best
in the Chinese University of Hong Kong.
The responsible staff

11. #6: Avoid Noun Strings (Replace with a Simpler Noun)
Apple is developing a new consumer device that allows
users to communicate vocally in real time.
Apple is developing a new consumer device that allows
users to communicate vocally in real time.
Apple is developing a new phone.
A place where parents can bring their children to have fun togetherA park
That creature which has four legs, a tail and cute face…
I guess, everyone of us here is looking for the period which allows
us to possibly travel around Europe or the rest of England.
I guess, everyone of us here is looking for the stay-behind.
That dog

12. Short Recap
1: Cut Redundant (Meaningless) and Repeated Words
2: A Modifying Phrase to a Simple Adverb
3: Delete Extraneous Relative-Clause Phrase
4: Use Nominalization ‘Carefully’
5: Replace an Unnecessarily Descriptive Phrase with a Simple Adjective
6: Avoid Noun Strings (Replace with a Simpler Noun)

16. #InspiredInYork2015

18. Summary
#1: Cut Redundant (Meaningless) and Repeated Words
#2: A Modifying Phrase to a Simple Adverb
#3: Delete Extraneous Relative-Clause Phrase
#4: Use Nominalization ‘Carefully’
#5: Replace an Unnecessarily Descriptive Phrase with a Simple Adjective
#6: Avoid Noun Strings (Replace with a Simpler Noun)

19. Every word tells.
‘Element of Style’
Simplicity is
the ultimate sophistication.