Table manners

DINING ETIQUETTE SEMINAR
Personality Development and Public Relations

Objectives
• To be able to define Etiquette and Table Manners
• To enumerate general dining etiquette
• To familiriarize with table setting, utensils and
equipment

Etiquette
It’s a system of rules and conventions
that regulate social and professional
behavior.
There is no penalty for bad etiquette,
but the result of bad etiquette lies in the
disapproval of one’s peers.

TABLE MANNERS
Table manners play an important part in making a
favorable impression. They are visible signals of the
state of our manners and therefore are essential to
professional success. The point of etiquette rules is to
make you feel comfortable, not uncomfortable.

3 General rules that govern acceptable at the table.
1. Be thoughtful and considerate of others.
2. Handle your table equipment correctly.
3. Eat quietly, without attracting attention, and
without being offensive to others.
 Each of these three rules is made up of a number of other
more specific rules.

Basic Dining Etiquettes
• DO always dress nicely.
• Wear the
proper/appropriate
attire.

• Unless you are attending a red carpet event it is better
to dress a little more conservatively, especially if it is
a work related banquet. Dressing appropriately for
the occasion will help you, and everyone around you,
feel more comfortable.
• Clean and pressed clothing is appreciated by all.
• Worn or torn clothing should be reserved for a more
casual event.

• Clean your shoes and/or boots. This can be
distracting to the rest of your outfit.
• Perfume, cologne or after shave lotion can be
overwhelming if used too liberally. Keep in mind that
if even 20% of the room has applied perfume or
cologne, it can be overwhelming. Also, it can be very
distracting when trying to eat a meal and everyone’s
perfume is competing for space.

• Please turn off your cell
phone.
• DON'T put your cell phone,
keys, or purse on the table.
• It distracts not only your
other dining companions,
but also your waiter and the
entire restaurant.

• Arrive at least 10
minutes early unless
otherwise specified.
• If you arrive at the table
before anyone else does,
do not begin eating the
bread, crudites or any pre-
set food, such as
appetizers, until everyone
else has arrived and is
seated.

• You must not start
eating until everyone
has been served. If
there are a large number
of guests, the hostess
may indicate that you
may begin before
everyone is served. If
this is the case, you
should begin.

• Greet your co-diners with
a smile and possibly a
hand shake. Once
everyone is seated at the
table, the first thing you
will do is place your
napkin on your lap.
Unfold the napkin with as
little fanfare as possible.
Fold it in half and place it
on your lap.

• There will usually be a
seating plan near the door
of the dining room, or place
cards on the table. If neither
exist, wait to be seated by
your hostess. There are strict
rules as to whom sits where
at the table and it would be
extremely embarrassing if
you had to be asked to
move, both for you and your
hostess.

• Remember, the hostess governs the table, not the
host. The host will sit at the head of the table (this is
normally the seat farthest away from doors or
commotion. To his right sits the wife of the guest of
honour and to his left sits the wife of the next
gentleman in order of importance. The hostess will
have the guest of honour on her right, and the
second most important gentleman on her left. The
remainder of the seating plan can often be arbitrary
but will always alternate based on gender.

• When you are seated at the table your feet should be
firmly planted on the floor in front of you. Do not
cross your legs, do not lean back on your chair, and
do not shake your feet. Your elbows should be at
your side at all times. Sit upright and do not lean over
your plate when you are eating; bring your food to
your mouth.

• In England, the correct behaviour is to keep your
hands on your lap when you are not using them. In
France the rule is to keep your hands above the table
at all times. You may place them on the edge of the
table but you must never put your elbows on the
table.

• Ladies purses should not be placed on the table. If
they’re small enough, you can place them on your
'lap. If they’re large, set them on the floor under to
your chair. Try to avoid having them out in the aisle
where they can possibly trip someone.
• Briefcases and meeting materials should also be
placed on the floor under your chair.

• Is it proper to pull the chair out for a lady? For a
business meeting or meal, no. For a social occasion,
i.e., wedding or date, yes.

• When you have finished eating your meal, do not
push your plate aside or stack them on top of each
other. It is proper to leave the plate sitting where they
are currently. Let the service personnel do their job.

• DO let your guest order first.
• "The host, especially if it's a woman, has to make it
clear that he or she is the host,“
• "Say phrases like, 'Will you please bring my guest...'
or 'My guest would like to order first' to ward off
confusion."

• DO set up payment ahead of time if you're the host.
• A savvy host knows to give their credit card before
they sit down, or even call the restaurant ahead of
time,“
• "Also, the person who invites is the person who
pays."

Place Settings / Table Settings

Place Setting
• You will probably notice an array of flatware sitting
in front of you, along with plates, and stem ware, i.e.,
water glass and possibly wine glasses. A rule of
thumb is that solids are on your left, and liquids are
on your right.

Table Napkins
• Place the napkin in your lap immediately upon seating. If
there is a host or hostess, wait for him or her to take their
napkin off the table and place it in his or her lap. (An
exception to this rule is buffet-style meals, where you
should unfold your napkin when you start eating.)
• The size determines how you unfold a napkin in your lap.
• Large napkins are unfolded halfway.
• Smaller napkins are unfolded completely and cover the lap
fully.

Table Napkins
• If a napkin ring is
present, after removing
your napkin, place the
ring to the top-left of the
setting. At the end of the
meal, grasp the napkin in
the center, pull it through
the ring, and lay it on the
table with the point facing
the center of the table.

TABLE NAPKINS
Don't tuck a napkin
into your collar,
between the buttons of
your shirt, or in your
belt.
The napkin rests on the
lap till the end of the
meal. Don't clean the
cutlery or wipe your
face with the napkin.
NEVER use it to wipe
your nose!

Table Napkins
• Use your napkin frequently
during the meal to blot or pat,
not wipe, your lips. Blot your
lips before taking a drink of
your beverage.
• When leaving the table
temporarily, put your napkin on
your chair. If the chair is
upholstered, place the napkin
soiled side up.

TABLE NAPKINS
At the end of the meal, leave
the napkin semi-folded at the
left side of the place setting. It
should not be crumpled or
twisted; nor should it be
folded.
Leave your napkin in loose
folds that keep soiled parts
hidden.
If after-dinner coffee is served
at the table, the napkin
remains in the lap.

SIVERWARE and DINNERWARE
Use the silverware farthest from your plate first.

Here’s the rule:
• Eat to your left,
drink to your right.
Any food dish to the
left is yours, and any
glass to the right is
yours.

Use one of two methods when using the
fork and knife:
• American Style: Knife in right hand, fork in left hand
holding food. After a few bite-sized pieces of food are cut,
place knife on edge of plate with blades facing in. Eat food
by switching fork to right hand (unless you are left handed).
• Continental/European Style: Knife in right hand, fork in
left hand. Eat food with fork still in left hand. The difference
is that you don't switch hands-you eat with your fork in your
left hand, with the prongs curving downward.

Silverwares
• Once used, your utensils,
including the handles, should
not touch the table again.
Always rest forks, knives, and
spoons on the side of your
plate or in the bowl.
• To signal that your are done
with the course, rest your
fork, tines up, and knife
blade in, with the handles
resting at five o'clock and
tips pointing to ten o'clock
on your plate.
• Any unused silverware is
simply left on the table.

General Etiquette Rules while
eating:
• A service person will serve your food on your left
side and they will remove your dish on your right
side.

eating:
Pass food from the left to the right.
Always say please when asking for
something. Be sure to say thank you to
your server and bus boy after they have
removed any used items.
If asked for the salt or pepper, pass both
together, even if a table mate asks for only
one of them.

eating:
Food is served from the left. Dishes are removed from the
right.
Butter, spreads, or dips should be transferred from the serving
dish to your plate before spreading or eating.
Never turn a wine glass upside down to decline wine. It is more
polite to let the wine be poured and not draw attention.
Otherwise, hold your hand over the wine glass to signal that you
don't want any wine.
Always scoop food away from you.

eating:
• Taste your food before
seasoning it.
• Do try a little of everything
on your plate.
• Don't blow on your food to
cool it off. If it is too hot to
eat, take the hint and wait.
• Do not talk with your mouth
full. Chew with your mouth
closed.

eating:
Cut only enough food for the
next mouthful. Eat in small
bites and slowly.
Don't clean up spills with your
own napkin and don't touch
items that have dropped on
the floor. You can use your
napkin to protect yourself
from spills. Then, simply and
politely ask your server to
clean up and to bring you a
replacement for the soiled
napkin or dirty utensil.
It is impolite to shove a large
piece of bread into your
mouth. Instead, break off a
small piece, butter it then eat
it.

Do not use a toothpick at the table.
Whenever a woman leaves the table or returns to sit,
all men seated with her should stand up.
Please, no smoking at the table.
Never blow your nose at the table, especially into
your napkin. If a sneeze is unavoidable, try to grab a
tissue, or remove yourself from the room.
Remember to wash your hands.

• Never chew gum at the table. If you need to remove
the gum from your mouth, excuse yourself to the
restroom where you can dispose of it.
• Combing or brushing your hair at the table is
unacceptable. As is putting on lipstick or make-up.
Excuse yourself to the restroom to take care of this.

• If you cough, cover your mouth with your napkin to stop
the spread of germs and to muffle the noise. If you need
to, excuse yourself to the restroom, and always wash your
hands.
• You should not ask to taste someone else’s food, nor
should you offer a taste of your food to someone else. If
you absolutely cannot resist this rule, you can request a
small plate from your server and place a small amount of
food to share.
• In a fine dining restaurant is impolite to ask for a doggy
bag. It is more acceptable if this is an informal dining
situation.

The Classical Menu
Cold hors d’oeuvre – small savory appetizers
Soup – clear or thick soup
Hot hors d’oeuvre – small hot appetizers
Fish – any seafood item
Main course or pièce de resistance – a large cut of roasted or
braised meat
Hot entrée – individual portions of meat or poultry
Cold entrée – cold meats, poultry, fish, pâté
Sorbet – a light ice or sherbet
Roast – roasted poultry
Vegetable – asparagus, artichokes
Sweet – what we call dessert – cakes and tarts, puddings, soufflés
Dessert – fruit and cheese and, sometimes, small cookies or petites
fours

The Modern Menu
• First Course Appetizer
Soup
Salad
• Main Dish Meat, poultry or fish with
Vegetable Accompaniment
• Dessert Dishes Salad
Fruits and cheeses
Sweets

What to talk about during dinner?
• If you are dining with people you are familiar with, you’re
already comfortable talking to each other. What if you’re
at a table of complete strangers? What do you talk about
now?
• 1. Hobbies 6. School
• 2. Travel 7. Degree Programs
• 3. Food 8. Music
• 4. Movies 9. Your place of birth
• 5. Theater

Dining etiquette Q & A
1. Who should sit down
first?
2. Is it okay to sit with my
legs crossed?
3. Which salad plate, bread
and butter plate, and
drinks are mine?
4. Which fork is for what?

5. How do you wipe your mouth with the napkin? Is
it considered poor etiquette to wipe one's mouth
with the napkin?
6. What do you do if you drop your napkin on the
floor?
7. When is it okay to begin drinking and eating?
Does one wait until the host/hostess starts eating
his/her meal at a restaurant?
8. What do you do if the menu is fixed and you are
served something you do not want?

9. What if I order from the menu but am
served the wrong thing?
10. What is appropriate to order for dinner?
11. Is it best to avoid ordering a food if you
can't pronounce its name?
12. Is it okay to spread butter on my entire roll
at one time?
13. How do I eat and answer questions at the
same time?

14. Should one go out of his/her way to use
utensils when he/she is eating finger food?
15. Is it rude to season your food before
tasting it?
16. What do you do if there is a hair in the
food?
17. If a lady were to get up during the meal,
should all men get up too?

18. What is the correct response to someone
accidentally sneezing on the table (near the
food)?
19. Where do you place the knife when you are
eating?
20. What if I get something stuck in my teeth?
21. What do I do if I have a bone in my
mouth?
22. Is it OK to rest your wrists on the edge of
the table in between bites?

Dining Etiquette Q & A
23. I always see people taking a roll, slicing it open with their knife
and buttering the entire roll. Is this the proper way to eat bread?
24. If I am hosting a business lunch, should I tell my guests where
to sit?
25. When making introductions of two people approximately of
the same age but are a different sex, does it matter whose name
is spoken first?
26. When eating something like barbeque spare ribs, is it okay to
tuck the napkin in your shirt under your chin?
27. What is a finger bowl for and when is it used?
28. Should we always expect a man to open doors for women?

Key Points to Remember:
1. Remember the
purpose of the
meal.
2. Follow the lead of
your host or
hostess.
3. Be discreet.

Table manners

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