WHAT IS ETIQUETTE? Set of rules or customs which control accepted behaviour in particular social groups or social situations. 2
PRE DINING ETIQUETTE As the host - a day or two prior, confirm with your guests and re-confirm with the restaurant. Be sure to arrive on time. Call ahead if you know you will be late. Take care of all details ahead of time. Wait 15 minutes before checking on guests. 3
GETTING SEATED When escorted to a table by a maître’d, allow guest(s) to walk behind the person. When finding a table on your own, the host takes the lead. Greet your guests upon their arrival and make the appropriate introductions. 4
GETTING SEATED Extend the best seat to your client or to the most important guest. Seat yourself with your back facing the door or the main part of the room. 5
ACCESSORIES Put all items under the table or beside your chair Brief case / purse Accessories (keys, cell phone and all personal belongings) Cellular phones and pagers should be turned off or on silent mode. 7
POSTURE & BODY LANGUAGE Sit upright with your feet flat on the floor. Positioning of wrists and elbows Make appropriate eye contact Eat quietly with your mouth closed Do not to talk with your mouth full 8
NAPKINS Once seated, wait for your host to place the napkin on his/her lap. Gently unfold and place your napkin on your lap after everyone is seated. Do not “snap” napkin open. Never tuck your napkin into your belt, shirt or collar. 9 Fold a large napkin in half with its crease toward you.
NAPKINS When excusing yourself from the table place the napkin on your chair Leave the napkin on your lap until everyone at the table has finished dining. When a meal is completed, place your used napkin to the right/left of your plate. Do not use your napkin to wipe your face, neck, chin, etc. 12
TYPES OF MENUS Table d’ hote the meal will usually include salad, breads, vegetables and meat, beverages and many times dessert. A la carte each item is ordered separately. Prix fixe there is one price for the multi-course meal. Traditionally, you may choose menu items within a course, but you may not choose courses (the price includes all courses). 18
TABLE SETTING Solids on your left: F-O-O-D Forks Butter plate / butter spreader Napkin (may also be on your plate) Liquids on your right: D-R-I-N-K Glassware / Teacup Knives Spoons 19
DINING STYLES American Style: Knife in right hand, fork in left hand holding food. Place knife on edge of plate with blades facing in after a few bite-sized pieces of food are cut. Eat food by switching fork to right hand (unless left handed). 25
TABLE SETTING Start at the outside and work your way inward If two forks are on the left, the outside fork would generally be a salad fork, and the inside fork would be the main/dinner fork. A dessert fork and/or spoon may be horizontally placed above the place setting. 30
UTENSILS Unused utensils that appear soiled should not be wiped on your napkin. Politely ask the wait staff for a clean one. Used utensils should not touch the table top. Do not wave your utensils around while you are talking. 39
RESTING UTENSILS Knife and fork are crossed on the plate with the fork over the knife and the prongs pointing down. Knife should be in the 10:20 position, the fork prongs should be at two oclock, and the handle at eight oclock, forming an inverted V. It is also correct to form the inverted V without crossing fork over knife. 43
GLASSWARE & STEMWARE A red wine glass has a shorter stem with a bulbous bowl. White wine glasses have longer slender stems. Champagne flutes are tall and narrow. 45
GLASSWARE & STEMWARE When your guest orders a non-alcoholic beverage, the proper etiquette is for you to order something similar; ordering wine or hard liquor is inappropriate. If you decide not to drink any alcohol, you may want to let the wait person pour your wine and then not drink it or just take one or two sips. Do not put your hand on top of your glass to signal that you do not want any wine. Do not turn your glass upside-down and avoid saying that you do not drink. 46
ORDERING Wait for the host to order, unless he/she directs you to go first. Do not order the most expensive item on the menu. Stay away from messy, hard to eat foods. Do not order alcohol unless your host does. Never order more than one drink. If there are items on the menu that you are uncertain 47 about, politely ask your server any questions you may have.
PASSING & ADDING Food is passed from left to right. Pass the salt, pepper, butter and sauces to the right. If you need to stretch across the table or rise to reach items, ask for them. 48
PASSING & ADDING Donot serve yourself “community” food (e.g. salt, pepper, dressing, etc.) until you have offered it to someone else first. Always pass the salt and pepper as a pair. Snagging a roll out of the breadbasket or taking a shake of salt when it is enroute to someone else is a no-no. No one else other than the original requester should sprinkle their food when they have the shakers in their 49 possession.
BREAD The person closest to the basket or plate offers it to the person on his left, helps himself, and passes to the person on his right. Ifthe person closest to the bread plate/basket does not take it, it is appropriate to ask for the basket. As soon as you get it, do the same as above. 52
BREAD Placethe roll on the small plate to your left. If there is no butter plate, then place it on the edge of your dinner plate. Pullapart the roll into two or more pieces (do not cut with a knife). Butter each piece of bread as you eat it. Leave your butter knife on the butter plate when not in use. 55
SOUP Soupspoons are usually too large to fit completely in your mouth, therefore, sip from the side of the spoon. Hold your spoon the way you would hold a pencil, between the index and middle fingers with your thumb up. Dip the spoon into the soup, until it is about two-thirds full to avoid spilling. Spoon your soup away from you toward the center or top of the bowl. 59
SOUP If soup is too hot, wait for it to cool before eating. You may gently stir it or spoon from the edge of the bowl first. Do not blow on it. When resting, place the spoon in the bowl. When finishing, tip the bowl away from yourself to spoon the remainder of the soup. When finished, place the spoon on the right side 60 of the underplate.
SALAD Use the salad fork. If you are served large pieces or a whole wedge of lettuce, cut one bite at a time, using the knife provided. Do not slice and dice, or toss the entire salad. If the salad is considered the main course, use the entrée fork. 64
DESSERT COURSE When the main course is finished, bring the dessert utensils to the sides of the plate: the fork to the left and the spoon to the right. Dessert that includes solids and creamy/liquid food may be eaten with the fork in the left hand, prongs down, and the spoon in the right. Eat with the spoon. The fork can serve as a pusher. If it is cake, pie or fruit, you may use only the fork. For ice cream or pudding, use only the spoon. 70
TALKING BUSINESS Wait until the table has been cleared. Use a letter-sized note pad in a professional portfolio You can also use a small notepad Avoid using a loose pad that shows the leftover edges of pages ripped out. 78
PAYING THE BILL It is the responsibility of the host to reach for the bill. As a host, you might show up early and give your credit card in advance to the maitre d’. Another option is to tell your server (when you are seated) that the bill should be given to you at the end of the meal. 81
PAYING THE BILL If when the bill arrives, you find that there is a mistake on the charges, do not take out a calculator, or try to argue about the bill with the server. Go to the head server’s station and resolve the problem with the bill. 82
BUFFET DINING Stand in line. Use serving utensils. Balance plate on the fingertips. Never take anything from a serving plate and stick it directly into your mouth. Do not start eating from your plate while still in line. You can return several times so never fill your plate to overflowing. Try to eat your courses in an acceptable order. Do not turn this into an "all you can eat" occasion. 84
BASIC TABLE MANNERS1. Do not put too much food into your mouth.2. Do not talk with your mouth full.3. Do not pile too much food on your plate.4. Do not drink alcohol unless your host orders a drink first.5. Do not drink more than one or two drinks. It is always acceptable to refuse.6. Never chew with your mouth open or make loud noises when you eat. 86
BASIC TABLE MANNERS7. When cutting food (meat, salad, etc.), cut enough for two or three mouthfuls .8. Taste your food first before adding salt.9. Do not order one of the most expensive items on the menu.10. Do not offer to pay if you are an invited guest.11. Do not ask for a “doggy bag”.12. Never spit a piece of bad food or tough gristle into your napkin. 87