This document provides advice for women on determining whether to continue or end a relationship. It outlines three questions to ask oneself: 1) "Does he make my heart smile?" which encourages being honest about one's desires rather than worrying what others think; 2) Assigning a percentage to the good and bad aspects of the relationship to gain clarity; 3) Creating a chart listing one's contributions to the good and bad to understand how to potentially eliminate bad behaviors and see if the relationship improves or if it is time to end it. The overall message is that clearly evaluating the relationship through these questions provides options to take action rather than doing nothing.

1. Should You Love Him or
Should You Leave Him?
By Shay Banks
with Before You Marry

2. When you first met your man, everything
was great!

3. And then…he started to act weird.

4. There was a time when
he was loving
Now he simply ignores you
Before After

5. To Solve This You Can…
 Ask him what’s wrong.
 Ignore him back.
 Yell at him for ignoring you.
 Tell his mother that he’s acting weird and she should talk
to him.
 Tell his friends to pressure him to talk to him.
 Do nothing.

6. OR

7. You can try a new approach

8. Quick Ways to Know if You
Should Love Him or Leave Him

9. “Does He Make My Heart Smile?”
This may sound like a simplistic question to ask yourself,
but it’s a truly important one.
Some women end up worrying too much about what other
people think she should have rather than being honest
with herself and getting clear about what she wants.

10. Answers like…
 He used to…
 I don’t know
 He’s really a good guy…
 We used to really have fun together…
 I’m not sure what to say…
 Ummm….

11. …means your answer is
he doesn’t make your heart smile. Don’t
kid yourself into thinking otherwise.

12. What’s Your Percentage?
“If you had to give the good & the bad a percentage,
what would it be?”
I ask my clients this question to help them get crystal clear
on what’s wrong in their relationship.

13. Sometimes the answers scare them

14. But it shouldn’t. Here’s why..
 You can’t change anything in your relationship if your
head is in the sand.
 By getting clear about your percentages, you’re taking a
stand that says “Something’s gotta give!”
 You become part of a solution

15. Don’t stress out on getting the percentages
perfect
Go with your first thought. If you believe 50% is bad and
50% is good, that’s okay.
If you believe that 80% is bad and 20% is good, that’s ok
too. Don’t judge the number. Just take that information
to the next step.

16. What’s My Contribution?
Create a T chart like the one below.
Good % Bad %

17. Under each column, list how you
contribute to the good & the bad of
the relationship

18. Here’s an example
Good % Bad %
Always thinking of
new & exciting things
for us to do together
I give him the silent treatment
when he doesn’t do what I want
him to do. When he asks what’s
wrong, I tell him to leave me
alone!

19. Be honest with how you contribute to
your relationship.

20. Armed with this information, you now
have a decision to make

21. Do you try to eliminate some of your
“Bad %” and see if things change?
Or based on the information do you
decide that you’ve contributed more
than your fair share to this
relationship and it’s time to go?

22. Whatever you decide…
You now have options that you didn’t have before. You
see, when you constantly worry about what to do, you
end up doing nothing.
But by simply taking these 3 steps, you’re already a lot
clearer about what to do with your relationship.

23. Check out more fast & simple tips in this
program specifically designed for women.
Visit http://beforeumarry.com/StayorGo to
learn more