This document provides steps for dealing with an alcoholic spouse and encouraging them to get help. It advises educating yourself about alcoholism, having a sober conversation about choices and consequences, and taking care of yourself by either staying and getting help together, leaving, or staying with the option of counseling. Living with an alcoholic is difficult, and the spouse needs support for whatever choice they make regarding the relationship and getting the alcoholic help.

1. Dealing with an
Alcoholic Spouse
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2. Do you live with someone that may be an alcoholic?
Does your spouse’s drinking impact the running of your
household?
If it’s to the point that you’re wondering whether or not
they’re an alcoholic, they probably are.

3. Here are some things that can help you to encourage them
to get help, and also help you deal with their addiction.

4. First of all, don’t nag and don’t be a martyr. Yes, you need
to have a conversation with your spouse if their drinking is
having an effect on your life. However, you have to learn
how to approach the topic and how to deal with them.
Step One:

5. Educate yourself about alcoholism. It is a disease and a
terrible addiction. Learn everything you can about it, it will
help you to understand what they are going through and
how to proceed.
Step two:

6. Have a conversation with them when they are sober.
Whichever option you are choosing, you need to discuss
the choices you’re making and how it will affect their life.
Make it clear that you will not cover up for them. You won’t
make excuses for them. If they drive under the influence
you will turn them in. If they are arrested you will not
rescue them.
Step three:

7. Take care of yourself. Living with an alcoholic can be
unbelievably difficult for the spouse. You need to know
what your options are and you need support for whatever
choice you make.
Step four:

8. Stay and do nothing. Be prepared for a long and bumpy
road. It may be fraught with mental or physical abuse and
humiliation. Are you ready for that?
Ways to take care of yourself:

9. Leave. Pack up and get out. Sever all ties, hope they get
help. They most likely won’t. Are you ready for that?
Ways to take care of yourself:

10. Stay, with options. This means you both get help. The
spouse who is drinking needs to get into a program, so
does the one who is sober, and you should both seek
counseling. Are you ready for that?
Ways to take care of yourself:

11. Does this all sound like tough love?
Yep, it is.
The first step in recovery has to be admitting there is a
problem, and coming to the conclusion that they want
help. They need to see what they will lose if their behavior
continues. But they also need to see how it can be if they
stop.
There is usually a reason why an alcoholic gets to where
they are. Until they see the “why”it will be difficult to see
the future as a sober adult.

12. It can be done. People can change. It will be a long road, no
doubt. However, many people have gone on to lead happy
and productive sober lives.

13. To learn more, please visit:
StongSpiritSobriety.com