1

ROMANCE IN
MARRIAGE

2/19/2014
Introduction
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We all want to learn new things. Last week I
spoke to a couples seminar on the topic of
romance and there were many lessons I
learnt from them.
We all agreed that:
1 —We love our companion and family very
much;
2 — We love marriage and we want to make
it even better.
2/19/2014
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Why should we then have a marriage
seminar?
There are four basic reasons why:
a. Most of us want to make our marriages
WORK. Nobody enters marriage expecting
it to fail, but they do.
b. All of us have to WORK on our
marriages. Even if you have been married
for a short while.
2/19/2014
4

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c. Many marriages don’t WORK. They
start out never answering the question,
“Will you take this woman to be your
wedded wife with, I don’t know, will I?”
They are excited and say yes.
* The first phase of marriage is the
IDEAL.
* The second phase of the marriage
moves into the ORDEAL.
* The third phase of too many
2/19/2014
marriages moves into looking for a
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d. Many of us don’t know how to WORK on
our
marriages.
Too many of us had poor role models and
consequently we have not learned what
would make our marriages great.
THE KEY WORD IS WORK. We have to
ensure our marriages work. You and I have
great part to play.

2/19/2014
LETS DISCUSS ROMANCE
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Scripture text: Matthew 6:21
It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your
treasure is, is the place you will most want
to be, and end up being. (MSG)
1. Can we remember what we first said to
the
person we are now married to?
2. The beginning for most of us took
place at a
very romantic moment.
3. For most of us romance dominated the
first
part of our relationship.
2/19/2014
7

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4. What is Romance? Is it:
a. A person smitten by love for another
person.
b. Love letters/sms/emails.
c. Walks in the parks, night, in the cold
or even rains.
d. Kisses. Remember those? Think.

2/19/2014
8

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e. Phone calls any time without
complains.
f. Ridiculous attempts at poetry.
h. All those activities that lead up to the
wedding such as:

2/19/2014
9

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i) Anticipation
ii) Advices that we received
iii) Problem with the flowers arriving on
time
and in the right condition.
iv) The friend of the bride that sung the
wedding song.

2/19/2014
10

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v) Endless picture taking.
vi) Eternal receptions.

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2/19/2014
11

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5. It is those highly charged romantic
feelings that keeps things moving.
a. Remember at Jacob’s commitment to
Laban to work 7 years for Rachel’s hand.
i) But then he ends up with her
sister.
ii) That was one disappointed
patriarch.
b. It is romantic love that gets us to walk
down the aisle, to light the candle and
then to kiss/hug the bride.
2/19/2014
I. What is Romance?
12





It is difficult to define what it is because it
is not a science or an art form.
A. ROMANCE IS COMPOSED OF
FANTASY, EMOTION, NON-RATIONAL
DELIGHTS ; SOMETHING DIFFERENT
FROM THE ORDINARY. IT IS A SPECIAL
TIME OR EVENT FOR TWO INDIVIDUALS.

2/19/2014
13

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B. Romance often Includes:
1. The element of the unexpected.
Most
wives love this.
a. The routine of life takes up most of
our
time and energy but a romantic
surprise
breaks up the monotony.
b. It says, “I’m thinking about you.
You’re on
my mind. I want your day
to be different."
c. Bring home flowers for no special
occasion.
2/19/2014
14










d. Find a new restaurant.
e. Put a note in the kitchen cabinet that
says, “I Love You.”
f. Doing the same thing for 20 years
may
not be romantic.
g. Creating a new atmosphere in the
home.
h. Creativity is key- Do something
differently
2/19/2014
15

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

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2. Keep dating.
a. Just the two of you.
b. Dating means selecting a specific
time
to be together and making
plans for the
event.
c. Don’t talk about work or children.
Rather talk about yourself.

2/19/2014
16

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



d. Make it a fun time.
e. Laugh and enjoy each other even if
you
are a little crazy.
h. This is key to successful dating.
Dating
should center on an activity
where you
can interact together.

2/19/2014
17












3. Since romance is often emotional and
nonrational it sometimes includes the
impractical.
a. Buy a gift that you feel that you may
not
afford.
b. An out of the ordinary event or
restaurant.
c. This element will build great
memories.
d. Go to a new place and be innovative
e. These times will take 2/19/2014through
you
the
difficult times.
18






4. It has within it the element of creativity.
a. Discover what delights your spouse
and then make those delights
happen in
many different and
creative ways.
b. Do not let your spouse predict what
you
will say when you kiss her
goodbye or
how you will respond.

2/19/2014
19







5. It includes the element that involves
daily acts of care, concern, love, speaking
your partner’s love language, listening, and
giving each other your personal attention.
a. This will convey a message of
acceptance and thoughtfulness
to your
spouse.
b. You see romance begins in the mind
and
not in your glands.
2/19/2014
20









6. Romance involves commitment.
a. There are many highs and lows, joys
and
disappointments in our lives.
b. Romance rises and falls.
c. But if there is commitment in marriage
then the romance will thrive.
d. Commitment is based upon the
attitude of
the heart which affects our
daily
activities.
2/19/2014
FINALLY
21









Learn again to treasure your
wife/husbands!!
Our spouses are the greatest gifts God
has
brought into our lives.
We have to ensure that there is life in
our
marriages .
Don’t hesitate to learn new things that
will
change your marriage .

2/19/2014

Romance in Marriage

  • 1.
  • 2.
    Introduction 2     We all wantto learn new things. Last week I spoke to a couples seminar on the topic of romance and there were many lessons I learnt from them. We all agreed that: 1 —We love our companion and family very much; 2 — We love marriage and we want to make it even better. 2/19/2014
  • 3.
    3      Why should wethen have a marriage seminar? There are four basic reasons why: a. Most of us want to make our marriages WORK. Nobody enters marriage expecting it to fail, but they do. b. All of us have to WORK on our marriages. Even if you have been married for a short while. 2/19/2014
  • 4.
    4  c. Many marriagesdon’t WORK. They start out never answering the question, “Will you take this woman to be your wedded wife with, I don’t know, will I?” They are excited and say yes. * The first phase of marriage is the IDEAL. * The second phase of the marriage moves into the ORDEAL. * The third phase of too many 2/19/2014 marriages moves into looking for a
  • 5.
    5    d. Many ofus don’t know how to WORK on our marriages. Too many of us had poor role models and consequently we have not learned what would make our marriages great. THE KEY WORD IS WORK. We have to ensure our marriages work. You and I have great part to play. 2/19/2014
  • 6.
    LETS DISCUSS ROMANCE 6      Scripturetext: Matthew 6:21 It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. (MSG) 1. Can we remember what we first said to the person we are now married to? 2. The beginning for most of us took place at a very romantic moment. 3. For most of us romance dominated the first part of our relationship. 2/19/2014
  • 7.
    7      4. What isRomance? Is it: a. A person smitten by love for another person. b. Love letters/sms/emails. c. Walks in the parks, night, in the cold or even rains. d. Kisses. Remember those? Think. 2/19/2014
  • 8.
    8    e. Phone callsany time without complains. f. Ridiculous attempts at poetry. h. All those activities that lead up to the wedding such as: 2/19/2014
  • 9.
    9     i) Anticipation ii) Advicesthat we received iii) Problem with the flowers arriving on time and in the right condition. iv) The friend of the bride that sung the wedding song. 2/19/2014
  • 10.
    10   v) Endless picturetaking. vi) Eternal receptions.  2/19/2014
  • 11.
    11    5. It isthose highly charged romantic feelings that keeps things moving. a. Remember at Jacob’s commitment to Laban to work 7 years for Rachel’s hand. i) But then he ends up with her sister. ii) That was one disappointed patriarch. b. It is romantic love that gets us to walk down the aisle, to light the candle and then to kiss/hug the bride. 2/19/2014
  • 12.
    I. What isRomance? 12   It is difficult to define what it is because it is not a science or an art form. A. ROMANCE IS COMPOSED OF FANTASY, EMOTION, NON-RATIONAL DELIGHTS ; SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM THE ORDINARY. IT IS A SPECIAL TIME OR EVENT FOR TWO INDIVIDUALS. 2/19/2014
  • 13.
    13      B. Romance oftenIncludes: 1. The element of the unexpected. Most wives love this. a. The routine of life takes up most of our time and energy but a romantic surprise breaks up the monotony. b. It says, “I’m thinking about you. You’re on my mind. I want your day to be different." c. Bring home flowers for no special occasion. 2/19/2014
  • 14.
    14      d. Find anew restaurant. e. Put a note in the kitchen cabinet that says, “I Love You.” f. Doing the same thing for 20 years may not be romantic. g. Creating a new atmosphere in the home. h. Creativity is key- Do something differently 2/19/2014
  • 15.
    15     2. Keep dating. a.Just the two of you. b. Dating means selecting a specific time to be together and making plans for the event. c. Don’t talk about work or children. Rather talk about yourself. 2/19/2014
  • 16.
    16    d. Make ita fun time. e. Laugh and enjoy each other even if you are a little crazy. h. This is key to successful dating. Dating should center on an activity where you can interact together. 2/19/2014
  • 17.
    17       3. Since romanceis often emotional and nonrational it sometimes includes the impractical. a. Buy a gift that you feel that you may not afford. b. An out of the ordinary event or restaurant. c. This element will build great memories. d. Go to a new place and be innovative e. These times will take 2/19/2014through you the difficult times.
  • 18.
    18    4. It haswithin it the element of creativity. a. Discover what delights your spouse and then make those delights happen in many different and creative ways. b. Do not let your spouse predict what you will say when you kiss her goodbye or how you will respond. 2/19/2014
  • 19.
    19    5. It includesthe element that involves daily acts of care, concern, love, speaking your partner’s love language, listening, and giving each other your personal attention. a. This will convey a message of acceptance and thoughtfulness to your spouse. b. You see romance begins in the mind and not in your glands. 2/19/2014
  • 20.
    20      6. Romance involvescommitment. a. There are many highs and lows, joys and disappointments in our lives. b. Romance rises and falls. c. But if there is commitment in marriage then the romance will thrive. d. Commitment is based upon the attitude of the heart which affects our daily activities. 2/19/2014
  • 21.
    FINALLY 21     Learn again totreasure your wife/husbands!! Our spouses are the greatest gifts God has brought into our lives. We have to ensure that there is life in our marriages . Don’t hesitate to learn new things that will change your marriage . 2/19/2014