1) The document discusses the origins of Valentine's Day and how it became associated with romantic love. It originated as a Christian feast day honoring early Christian martyrs named Valentine. 2) Two of the martyrs associated with February 14th are Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni. No romantic elements were originally associated with these martyrs. 3) The presentation aims to help Christians understand the difference between love, sex, and infatuation and make wise choices in relationships. It outlines several ways to discern whether one's feelings represent love or mere infatuation.

1. PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF GHANA
OSU EBEN-EZER CONGREGATION
PRESENTATION ON THE ORIGIN OF
VALENTINE AND THE EFFECT ON THE
YOUTH TODAY
BY REV. ERIC JOEL NII OKLEY
BOTCHWAY

2. Valentine's Day or Saint
Valentine's Day is an occasion
celebrated on February 14 by many
people throughout the world. In the
West, it is the traditional day on which
lovers express their love for each
other by sending Valentine's cards,
presenting flowers, or offering
confectionery.

3. The holiday is named after two among
the numerous Early Christian martyrs
named Valentine. The day became
associated with romantic love in the
circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the
High Middle Ages, when the tradition
of courtly love flourished.

4. The day is most closely associated
with the mutual exchange of love
notes in the form of "valentines."
Modern Valentine symbols include the
heart-shaped outline, doves, and the
figure of the winged Cupid. Since the
19th century, handwritten notes have
largely given way to mass-produced
greeting cards

5. Numerous early Christian martyrs
were named Valentine. Until
1969, the Catholic Church
formally recognized eleven
Valentine's Days.

6. The Valentines honored
on February 14 are

7. Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb.
m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni
(Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m.
Romae).

8. Valentine of Rome was a priest in
Rome who suffered martyrdom about
AD 269 and was buried on the
Via Flaminia. His relics are at the
Church of Saint Praxed in Rome. and at
Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in
Dublin, Ireland.

9. Valentine of Terni became bishop of
Interamna (modern Terni) about AD
197 and is said to have been killed
during the persecution of Emperor
Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via
Flaminia, but in a different location
than Valentine of Rome. His relics are
at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in
Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).

10. The third saint named Valentine who
was mentioned in early martyrologies
under date of February 14. He was
martyred in Africa with a number of
companions, but nothing more is
known about him.

11. No romantic elements are present in
the original early medieval biographies
of either of these martyrs. By the time
a Saint Valentine became linked to
romance in the fourteenth century,
distinctions between Valentine of
Rome and Valentine of Terni were
utterly lost.

12. In the 1969 revision of the
Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints,
the feastday of Saint Valentine on
February 14 was removed from the
General Roman Calendar and
relegated to particular (local or even
national) calendars for the following
reason:

13. "Though the memorial of Saint
Valentine is ancient, it is left to
particular calendars, since, apart from
his name, nothing is known of Saint
Valentine except that he was buried
on the Via Flaminia on February 14."[12]

14. The feast day is still celebrated in
Balzan (Malta) where relics of the
saint are claimed to be found, and also
throughout the world by
Traditionalist Catholics who follow the
older, pre-Vatican II calendar.

15. •Consequences:
Abused
Misused
Misunderstood
Misapplied

17. LOVE AND
INFATUATION

19. To help the Christian
who is single make the
right choice in choosing a
life partner
To know the difference
between LOVE, SEX and
INFATUATION

20. WHAT IS LOVE -EROS
• This is a “need” love based on
physical attraction and fulfillment.
This love is necessary for the
unmarried to succeed , however,
marriage cannot be sustained by
EROS alone. Its out of this word
that we have the English word
Erotic.
• This kind of love is not bad per se.
Prov. 5:18

21. PHILEO
• This is a friendship love based on
reciprocal sharing of time , activity,
the home, hobbies, games and other
objects of common affection.
• Companionship: the Bible says,
Erotic love is about being lovers but
phileo love is about being best
friends. Rom 12:9-10. Prov.17:17

22. • This is honoring, devotion, sharing,
companionship, reciprocity ,
serving and caring.
• This is doing what the other person
won’t do but for love you will do it.
• This is learning to care and be best
friends living your lives together.

23. AGAPE
• This is the super natural love. It is
giving love and it can be unilateral,
in that, one loves even when the
other does not respond.
• It is self-giving and meeting the
need of the other person with the
purpose of helping the other person
to become better or more matured
individuals.

24. • Agape love takes the initiative
of energizing the other two
kinds of love.
• This is God’s love, being kind
hearted , being generous , kind,
forgiving one another, being
tender hearted, working love

25. • This is the love that gives the other
person what they need the most
when they deserve it the least.
• This is the kind of love that makes
a person forgive when he is
wounded.
• He does not bring up the past
• Knows the other person’s history
but refuses to use that against him.

26. • We have always emphasized
the Eros but that alone is not
helpful.
• 50%-75% of first time
marriages ends up in divorce.
• 25% live unhappy and
unfulfilled life.

27. •The foundation of
love is – love
people the same
way God loves
them. Become
best friends.

28. AM I IN LOVE?
IS IT LOVE OR
INFATUATION?
1. Time
• Love grows and all
growth requires time.
Infatuation may come
on suddenly. If it is
genuine love it takes
time but infatuation is

29. 2. KNOWLEDGE
• Love grows out of an
appraisal of all the
uncharacteristic of the
other person,
• infatuation may arise from
an acquaintance with one
or few of these
characteristics.

30. I cannot love someone
without knowing him
genuinely
• character,
• values
• Family
• Career/dreams
• Ambitions
• Strengths / weaknesses
• Knowledge of a person
causes a spontaneous love
for him/her.

31. 3. FOCUS
• Love is making the
other person centeral.
It is outgoing and
results in sharing,
infatuation is self
centered, on one
person only.

32. IS IT LOVE OR INFATUATION?
• 4. SINGULARITY
• Genuine love focuses on one person
only. An infatuated person may be in
love with two or more persons
simultaneously.
• I think I need to make it very clear
over here that infatuation is not
wrong, it is not sinful, it is just this
chemical reaction or feeling we have
when we get attracted to the opposite
sex but we can’t confuse that with

33. • 5. SECURITY
• Love provides a sense of
security and a feeling of trust,
but an infatuated person
tends to have a sense of
blindness.
• Infatuation is based on
wishful thinking rather than
careful consideration, or may
have a sense of insecurity
that is sometimes expressed

34. IS IT LOVE OR
INFATUATION?
• 6. WORK
• An individual in love works for
the other person and for their
mutual benefit. His ambition is
spurred on and he plans and
saves for the future.
• He may day dream but his
dreams are reasonably
attainable.

35. • However, an infatuated person
may lose his ambition, his
appetite, and his interest in
everyday affair.
• He thinks of his own misery,
he often day dreams but his
dreams are sometimes limited
to the attainable. At times his
dreams become a subtitled
reality.

36. • 7. PROBLEM SOLVING
• A couple in love face problems
frankly and attempt to solve them.
• Barriers are approached
intelligently and are removed or
circumvented.
• In infatuation, problems tend to
be disregarded or glossed over.
What will you do if your parents
refuse to have you marry?

37. • 8. DISTANCE
• Love tends to be constant;
infatuation often varies
with distance between the
couple.

38. IS IT LOVE OR INFATUATION?
9. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION &
INVOLVEMENT
• In love, physical attraction is
relatively a smaller part of the total
relations.
• Any physical contact tends to have
meaning, as well as be a pleasurable
experience.
• In infatuation, physical contact tends
to be an end in itself. It represents
only the pleasurable experience

39. • The moment your physical
involvement move beyond your
leading from God, you cloud your
ability to hear from God in the
relationship.
• Each step in the relationship is
bound in a process of
communicating a deeper and
deeper commitment to one another,
however infatuation is just the
opposite.

40. 10. AFFECTION
• In love, an expression of affection tends
to come relatively late in the couples
relationship.
• In infatuation it may come earlier,
sometimes from the very beginning. sex
at first date. II. Sam: 13:1ff
• Tamar and her step brother Ammon.
• His love turned to hatred and he hated
her even more than he had loved her,
Get out of here! He snarled at her. Verse
1,2 and 15

41. IS IT LOVE OR
INFATUATION?
• 11. STABILITY
• Love tends to endure,
infatuation may change
suddenly or unpredictably.

42. DELAYED
GRATIFICATION
• A couple in love are not
indifferent to the effects of the
postponement of their wedding,
but they do not prolong their
period of postponement unless
they find it wiser to wait for a
reasonable time;

43. • they do not feel an almost
irresistible drive towards haste
but in contrast infatuation
couple tend to feel an urge
towards getting married,
postponement is intolerable and
deprivation rather than
preparation.
• When you love somebody you
can wait, you will not be driven

44. • Remember Jacob and Rachel,
he waited for 7 years and
after he was given Leah he
served 7 more years and the
bible says that it seemed to
him but for a few days.
Genesis 29:15-21

45. SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR
THE SINGLES
 LEARN TO KEEP YOUR
EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL
INVOLVEMENT BEHIND YOUR
LEADING FROM GOD AND
COMMITMENT TO THE OTHER
PERSON

46. SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR
THE UNINVOLVED
SINGLES
LEARN TO DEVELOP A PERSONAL
CONVICTION TO PERSUE PURITY.
WATCH WHAT YOU LOOK AT
WATCH WHAT YOU HEAR
WATCH WHAT YOU SAY
WATCH WHAT YOU GET INVOLVE
IN

47. MESSAGE FOR SINGLES
IN CRISES
GET HELP

48. THOSE WHOSE LIVES ARE
CENTERED AROUND SEX

TALK TO
SOMEBODY
NOW! DON’T
POSTPONE IT.

49. A WORD OF HOPE FOR
ALL
COME NOW LET US REASON
TOGETHER SAYS THE LORD THOUGH
YOUR SINS ARE AS SCARLET THEY
WOULD BE AS WHITE AS SNOW,
THOUGH THEY ARE RED LIKE
CRIMSON THEY WOULD BE LIKE
WOOL IF ONLY YOU WOULD OBEY ME
AND LET ME HELP YOU THEN YOU
WILL HAVE PLENTY TO EAT. ISAIAH
1:18-19

50. THANK YOU
QUESTION TIME