The document provides resources and guidance for parents on teaching children personal safety and boundaries. It discusses making children aware of the "touching rule" that no one should touch private parts except for cleaning or health reasons. It advises instructing children to say no, get away, and tell a trusted adult if anyone breaks this rule. The document also lists additional resources for parents on child safety and books for educating children.
13. What to do if someone breaks
the Touching Rule.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/
14. Resources for Parents
● Safely Ever After,
● What Do I Say Now? How to Protect
your Child from Sexual Abuse - Video
● National Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Children
● kidsinthehouse
15. Books for Children
Amazing You: Getting Smart about Your
Private Parts
by Gail Saltz.
Who Has What?: All About Girls’ Bodies and
Boys’Bodies (Le’ts Talk about You and Me) by
Robie Harris
But it’s so important. Unfortunately, the statistics say that one in 4 girls and one in 6 boys will be the victims of sexual abuse. Here in Japan there were 66,000 reported cases of child abuse. This number does not just represent sexual abuse, but physical and emotional abuse as well. Many cases go unreported.
Because it’s often not the stranger who abuses. Sexual abuse is rarely committed by the “dangerous stranger” about whom children have traditionally been warned. Based on general population surveys, in 70-90% of the reported cases, the perpetrator is actually someone the child knows. Of all offenders, 90% are male,and teenagers represent up to 40%. Abuse by parent figures constitutes between 6 and 16% of all cases, and abuse by any relative is reported in approximately 25% of all cases.
We tell kids here at school that most grown-ups are nice and would never hurt a child. But because there are a small number of bad people in the world, we need to practice what to do “just in case”, just as we practice for fire drills. It will probably never happen to you, but if it does, you will know what to do.
In our guidance lessons, we will address the subject of child sexual abuse within a general framework of safety. This establishes a parallel logic to the later touching safety lessons. On the screen are our three main topics for discussion. In Personal Safety, we talk about safety rules like fire safety, traffic safety, what to do if you are ever lost, and the importance of asking permission before going anywhere with anyone, whether it’s someone you know or not. In touching safety, we talk about the difference between safe touches, unsafe touches and unwanted touches and we teach the touching rule. We’ll tell you more about this in a minute. The last lesson is about how to say “no” to unwanted and unsafe touches, and how to get support if it’s a big problem.
There are Safe, Unsafe, and Unwanted touches. Safe touches make us feel good. Safe touches include gentle pats on the back, handshakes, high fives. Hugs feel safe to some and not others, so it’s best to ask first. Kisses are for family only, not for school.
Unsafe touches hurt our bodies. Examples include hitting, kicking, pinching, slapping.
An Unwanted touch is any touch that makes you feel uncomfortable. It might not hurt, but it’s still unwanted if you don’t like it. It’s OK to say “no” to an unwanted touch, even if it’s a grown-up. Examples might include hugs from people you don’t know well or kisses at school.
We explain that the private body parts are those parts covered by a swimsuit. We tell the kids that parents and other care givers sometimes need to touch kids’ private body parts to keep them clean, like in the bathtub or when changing diapers. We also tell them that doctors sometimes need to touch their private body parts to keep them healthy. But if it’s not to keep you clean or healthy, it’s not OK. Then we teach them what to do in case someone breaks the rule. They are to: 1. Say words that mean “no” 2. Get away as soon as possible 3. Tell an adult they trust.
We teach the kids that secrets about touching are not ok, and that they should tell someone they trust right away if someone breaks the touching rule, even if that person tells them not to. We also tell them that it’s ever a child’s fault if someone breaks the touching rule, and that it’s never too late to report a touching problem.
So what can you do at home? You can establish touching rules as part of your normal safety rules, and go over them from time to time. You can say, “Let’s talk about our safety rules”. Before your child goes on a camping or overnight trip, you can say, “Before you go, let’s practice what you would do if someone tried to break the Touching rule”. The other thing that experts recommend is for you to teach your child the atonomically correct terms for their private body parts, so that if they ever have a touching problem, they can give you the correct information about exactly what happened. We will not be teaching the kids these specific body parts at school. We’ll just be teaching them that their private body parts are those parts that are covered by a bathing suit.
Tell your child that if they ever have any questions or problems, they can come to you. Tell them that it’s never to late to tell you about a problem. Take advantage of natural teaching moments and give age-appropriate answers.
If your child ever discloses a touching problem, the most important thing to do is to stay calm. Tell them that you are so proud of them for telling you, and it’s not their fault. Tell them that you are always here for them. Then let the counselors know at school and we will guide you in figuring out the next steps.